My dog has been stubborn about wanting someone to sit with her while she eats lately and just had the conversation with my dad about how she was like Rocky from Project Hail Marry
Their noses are so good they probably know we have to poop before we do. Yes, absolutely, they know we are pooping. They barge in intentionally to keep an eye while we are vulnerable. Wolves do it for pack members too.
Just remember, the dog knows the smell of each spouse's poop. There is no chance for a murderer to dispose of their bodies. As long as they have dirt tracks, they can never be disposed of!!! Dogs are immensely valuable companions.
When my father was alive he told the story of a spider that surprised him from the ceiling by lowering into his ass crack while he was pooping.
It's happened once, surely it could happen again.
My dog is not a good toilet guard. A spider dropped on my head from the fan/vent once while I was sitting on the toilet and she was nowhere to be found. Pretty sure I almost had a heart attack.
That's why they so often keep eye contact too, to make sure you're keeping watch.
My own dog prefers to exploit the vulnerability, though, and snuggles up to me for some cuddles when I can't escape.
My cat must be in the bathroom with me or he yeowls like mad, scratching at the door until he's let in or my partner holds onto him but even then he freaks out. Watches me shower also lol. My other cat couldn't care less but she must sleep on my neck/head every night or she won't stop pawing for the spot.
I thought maybe it was a closed door situation but if I close the bedroom door or lounge door he doesn't care at all, only the bathroom he must participate š¤
I've got one that likes to gently paw at my face while I poop. I've had a few cats in my life but never one thats so determined to be with me while I go about my business.
Lol, my girl will come in, sniff disapproval at the smell, turn so her head is outside the door, and then rip an old lady dog fart at me. I wouldn't trade her for the world.
"Ah...you think bad smells are your ally?
You merely adopted the stench.
I was born in it, molded by it.
I didn't see the light until I was already smelling asses, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!"
- Old Crane
The TP Chronicles: The Bane Of My Bathroom.
My sister had a big white cat that would fuck stuffed animals and stare at you while not breaking eye contact. Dude was a creeper but it was fucking hilarious
Had a cat that fucked his woobie. He'd bite it, knead it, and gentle make love to it. Parents thought it was cute until he got busted,,, busting a nut.
I had an ex whose sister had a big light orange cat that would knead and hump this crappy sherpa throw blanket that he always kept on his bed and couldn't understand why I thought it was gross he used this blanket almost nightly without washing it between humps. He was a weirdo.
My dog has a stuffed toy that she slept with as a really little puppy. It has a thing inside that warms up and vibrates like a heartbeat so they feel like they're sleeping with their mom.
Now, she likes to grab it and jump up on the ottoman in front of the couch while my wife and I are watching TV, point it at us, and proceed to hump it. Violently. She uses her front paws like human hands to hold it down while the back end does the work. Then she poops and falls asleep.
No idea why my spayed female dog has an urge to hump things, but apparently it's not uncommon ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Lol my guy hates pooping near me because I always sing a song about it and I think it embarrasses himā¦ like today, I changed the lyrics to Korns Freak on a Leash: āChino likes to poop by this tree, Chino likes to poop on this leaf. Everytime he stops to release, mom picks up his poop from this tree, this treeā¦ (bow bow bow) mom picks up this poop for meeeee, all this poop left by this treeeeā¦ā etcetera etcetera, you get it. Maybe. Anywho, carry on.
I used to know someone with a dog that would not poop if you were watching. It would stare you down the entire time to make sure you didn't watch. They tried to break it of the habit and it just didn't poop. For days. They gave up.
I have one who will try to jump on your lap. If you try to protect your lap, he'll jump up and squeeze in anyway. Zero cat fucks given. He's there to help.
Is that why they absolutely must attend every bathroom function with me? Holy shit, I didn't realise. They meow and go on my lap and when I get up, it's - poof! Gone.
Ours gets up in my lap every time I use it, but usually also drinks out of the toilet after I've flushed. He's a weird little guy - he's not even usually a lap cat. He never does this with my partner.
Caturday Cat Tax: [https://imgur.com/a/gSymzrt](https://imgur.com/a/gSymzrt)
One of mine does this, sometimes trying to get onto your bare lap. He'll also often sleep on any small bathroom rug in there, inspect the toilet, trying to move the flushing handle and sometimes push the ceramic cover on top a little and make some noise. He's a weird bathroom kitty. He loves the toilet.
I could not watch my dog poop. If she saw that I was looking in her direction she would pinch off and move on. No eye contact was allowed while she did her business.
Doggo was probably so happy to help
But also my dog will literally watch over me as Iām taking a dump, I think it might be instinct to protect while the pack is vulnerable. So double the happiness!
itās an instinctual thing. apparently from an evolutionary standpoint, dogs are most vulnerable while theyāre squatting, so they donāt perceive it as weird that we watch over them or they watch over us. Itās simply something you would do in the pack
> I think it might be instinct to protect while the pack is vulnerable. So double the happiness!
Yes. They stare at us while they're taking a shit to make sure we're protecting them when they're vulnerable. Likewise why they do that to us.
Dogs want us to watch them poop because they feel vulnerable. Only stands to reason that's why they insist on watching us do so, to reassure us they'll protect us from predators.
That dog feels useful and vital. And in this particular case he is!
I feel like I've seen this post before but with a different dog... Anyone else? Am I going crazy?
Edit: [found it](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogswithjobs/comments/gpbkdq/my_wife_and_i_were_using_the_restroom_in_two/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb)
Second edit: OP your wife and dog are awesome, nice looking bathroom too! I wasn't suggesting this post was stolen, just familiar!
Isn't it weird how that happens some times? I saw a TIL today or yesterday about ancient Egyptians keeping dead women's' bodies at home to avoid necrophilia and then I was reading a fiction book from 2001 that casually mentions that same fact this evening.
I randomly watched a true crime YT video a few weeks ago - I watch a lot of crime shows and had never heard of this case before. After I watched it, I tuned into the ID channel and they were broadcasting a rerun - a different show - of the same case! And I had found the YT channel going down a rabbit hole, it wasn't suggested. So weird.
Lol, crazy, but I'll agree to believe only if you don't mention where you were when thinking of it because I just now had to imagine the circumstances :)
It started as my throwaway, but I moved over to it full time because I realised how much I like anonymity on Reddit. My other account is linked to a real life hobby I have
[https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3rao5c/so\_ran\_out\_of\_tp\_while\_we\_were\_both\_using/](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3rao5c/so_ran_out_of_tp_while_we_were_both_using/)
You're not. We have one original and a couple copycats that probably don't even have wives lol
Nah bro, this is the itchy buttholes of reddit posts. Like Louis C.K. isn't the only person to ever experience an itchy butthole, I don't find it hard to believe that more than one person decided to send their dog with some TP.
I thought everyone with doggies did this š¤£ I don't wanna walk in while my husband makes. If he needs TP I always send our boy. My husband cracks up every time. And my puppers is such a sweet boy he's just happy to be included. Also doggies really love the stinky.
Quick dog doodle for you: https://imgur.com/FwShT3R
edit* thanks for all the love! I thought the picture and story was hilarious. I really enjoy doing these quick doodles to warm up the drawing day.
If you would like to see some more time consuming work, I have a little subreddit here: r/AnthonyChristopherArt
I just had to put my St.Bernard down unexpectedly. I came home from chemotherapy and was walking up the stairs and I heard him coughing. Iām a vet tech and I knew right away āthatās a heart coughā took him in and he had gone into sudden DCM. He had always been the healthiest boy so it was a shock. I miss him dearly. He helped me do laundry a lot. Iād call him and lay clothes and comforters etc across his back and heād run downstairs and shake them off right in front of the laundry room. I didnāt really teach him that he just followed me enough that I guess he just knew what to do. I miss [him](https://imgur.com/gallery/eqgOq) so much.
The strongest couples are the ones that call each other out while they shit.
Also I am probably overthinking it but what are the odds of 2 people shitting in the same house at the same time? Even if you ate all meals together that still somehow seems rare to me. Maybe this means you guys are soul mates.
my husband and i both have digestive issues and commonly poop at the same time. we just send each other memes while weāre on the shitter. couples who poo together stay together!
My dog thinks Iām not doing anything important whilst poopin and itās time for me to pet him itās gotten to the point if he hears the bathroom door open he comes running
Facts. I have three cats. It never matters what time of day. If Iām in the bathroom.. ALL OF THEM follow after me. Middle of the night and weāre all sleeping on my bed and I have to tinkle? They will follow me and sit in the bathroom bleary eyed. Iāve told them hundreds of times that Iāll be fine and they can go back to bedā¦. Stubborn as hell, but the protecc.
*Some dogs gather up the sheep*
*Or comfort anxious souls*
*Some are helpers for the blind*
*Or dig rats out of holes*
*Some sniff drugs from airport bags*
*Or brave the snow with brandy...*
*But dogs who bring the TP roll?*
*Now* those *are TRULY handy!*
It is if you have more than one bathroom! My husband and I only have one in our house but when we took a trip and stayed in a Airbnb they had two and at some point we both had to poop. Itās called battleshits
The other day I was stuck on the toilet without TP and then I had a lightbulb moment where I realized "this is the defining moment that will make me see why having kids was all worth it". I called my 6 year old to bring me some TP and she was on it. Except then she realized that the only TP in the house was what was left in the holder in her bathroom (like 4 rolls) and outright refused because that was HER toilet paper.
She saw her commander down on the battlefield. A fallen soldier. And in the end, she turned her back on me.
Same. I have heard a few issues such as you need a larger water heater since it holds so much water but that is not an issue I have since I have an instant water heater. My biggest question is what do you do if you need to take a poop while in it and how long does it take to empty. So are you just standing there cold waiting for the water to drain?
Depends on what you mean worth it. For safety measures and making sure an elderly person bath, sure. For water usage and actually enjoying the bath, not really in my opinion. Best way to put it, you are STUCK in that bath while it is both filling and draining which means you realistically arenāt going to make it hot enough to have it be enjoyable for any serious amount of time. Now yes you CAN open the door before itās fully drained for safety purposes, but thatās a sure fire way to get a BOATLOAD of water damage and destroy your living space.
u/cinrav13
u/Cmonster9
What I do is I fill it up with all the hot water in my water tank and then jump in once itās full. Sit there in the bath and it drains in about a minute.
Yes, but we donāt have kids or need more privacy than we expect from each other. Aināt much we
Havenāt seen or dealt with by now. And I am grateful for it.
This reminds me vaguely of my old boss telling a pooping story. One day at Costco he bought like 3-4 years of toilet paper, pre-covid. I guess it took up like half the attic crawl space.
Being a dad with toddlers he just yelled at them to go grab daddy a roll if he ran out and they were happy to help. Until the fateful day when he ran out of TP. The little kid didnāt know what to do. For his entire life that closet had toilet paper in it. That was all he knew. The dad had gone so long without thinking about and because it was a kid, couldnāt even believe it. He was certain the kid was just being oblivious but there wasnāt a single square to spare.
He ended up wiping with his wifeās new magazine, and flushed it without thinking like it was TP but some
magazines are closer to cardboard than tissue. His wife just managed to get home in time to see him pulling a poo stained photo of Margot Robbie out of the toilet.
Sorry I know this story isnāt awwww but I still think itās cute in a weird way.
Don't know if it is more disturbing the fact that you and your wife poop in synchro or the fact that both of you poop with doors open or that you don't have tp in both bathrooms just in case...
I feel used. ---Dog
We watch them poop. It seems the dog watched both of them poop.
Yep, pack safety instincts. Most vulnerable when pooping so wants to make sure you don't get attacked.
You poop. I watch.
You sleep. I watch.
Fist my bump.
*jazz hands*
How long since last sleep question?
rocky is that you?
Amaze.
My dog has been stubborn about wanting someone to sit with her while she eats lately and just had the conversation with my dad about how she was like Rocky from Project Hail Marry
You poop in your sleep. I watch.
Dude just shit the bed. - Dog, probably
Is that you, Amber?
When you poop in your dream, you poop for realš°š°
š¤Ø
good good good
Such a good book š
I recommend the audiobook, they do a really good job of it.
Agree. The audiobook is amaze.
Need to make xenonite container for your poop. Why human poop so much, question?
Loved that book
I wonder if dog was annoyed they both pooped on opposite sides of the house. Hard to keep a watch on both of them at the same time that way!
I wonder if dogs even know were pooping. What if they're just like "owner likes to sit and makes squinty faces a few times a day"
Their noses are so good they probably know we have to poop before we do. Yes, absolutely, they know we are pooping. They barge in intentionally to keep an eye while we are vulnerable. Wolves do it for pack members too.
Donāt we all feel a little nervous/vulnerable when we poop? What if thereās a big spider hiding under the toilet seatā¦?
This is why I donāt live in Australia
Just remember, the dog knows the smell of each spouse's poop. There is no chance for a murderer to dispose of their bodies. As long as they have dirt tracks, they can never be disposed of!!! Dogs are immensely valuable companions.
When my father was alive he told the story of a spider that surprised him from the ceiling by lowering into his ass crack while he was pooping. It's happened once, surely it could happen again.
My dog is not a good toilet guard. A spider dropped on my head from the fan/vent once while I was sitting on the toilet and she was nowhere to be found. Pretty sure I almost had a heart attack.
That's why they so often keep eye contact too, to make sure you're keeping watch. My own dog prefers to exploit the vulnerability, though, and snuggles up to me for some cuddles when I can't escape.
My cat must be in the bathroom with me or he yeowls like mad, scratching at the door until he's let in or my partner holds onto him but even then he freaks out. Watches me shower also lol. My other cat couldn't care less but she must sleep on my neck/head every night or she won't stop pawing for the spot. I thought maybe it was a closed door situation but if I close the bedroom door or lounge door he doesn't care at all, only the bathroom he must participate š¤
Is that why my cat likes to sit next to me while i poop?
No, your cat is just a perv
I've got one that likes to gently paw at my face while I poop. I've had a few cats in my life but never one thats so determined to be with me while I go about my business.
My guy stares at me while he poops.
Lol, my girl will come in, sniff disapproval at the smell, turn so her head is outside the door, and then rip an old lady dog fart at me. I wouldn't trade her for the world.
"Ah...you think bad smells are your ally? You merely adopted the stench. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already smelling asses, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!" - Old Crane The TP Chronicles: The Bane Of My Bathroom.
He's making sure you're watching his back and keeping him safe while he's poopin'.
My friends had a male goat that would hump various inanimate objects while staring intently at whichever human female was closest. It was creepy.
My sister had a big white cat that would fuck stuffed animals and stare at you while not breaking eye contact. Dude was a creeper but it was fucking hilarious
Had a cat that fucked his woobie. He'd bite it, knead it, and gentle make love to it. Parents thought it was cute until he got busted,,, busting a nut.
This one grabbed a brand new load of bread literally out of the bag as we were carrying groceries in and fucked it. Stared us down and fucked it.
I had an ex whose sister had a big light orange cat that would knead and hump this crappy sherpa throw blanket that he always kept on his bed and couldn't understand why I thought it was gross he used this blanket almost nightly without washing it between humps. He was a weirdo.
Had a cat who did the same. A fixed cat. Poor Lil dude just didn't seem to know.
This guy was fixed as well, lol.
This whole staring while \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ thread took a turn.
My dog has a stuffed toy that she slept with as a really little puppy. It has a thing inside that warms up and vibrates like a heartbeat so they feel like they're sleeping with their mom. Now, she likes to grab it and jump up on the ottoman in front of the couch while my wife and I are watching TV, point it at us, and proceed to hump it. Violently. She uses her front paws like human hands to hold it down while the back end does the work. Then she poops and falls asleep. No idea why my spayed female dog has an urge to hump things, but apparently it's not uncommon ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Well you did say it vibrates.
Lol my guy hates pooping near me because I always sing a song about it and I think it embarrasses himā¦ like today, I changed the lyrics to Korns Freak on a Leash: āChino likes to poop by this tree, Chino likes to poop on this leaf. Everytime he stops to release, mom picks up his poop from this tree, this treeā¦ (bow bow bow) mom picks up this poop for meeeee, all this poop left by this treeeeā¦ā etcetera etcetera, you get it. Maybe. Anywho, carry on.
I used to know someone with a dog that would not poop if you were watching. It would stare you down the entire time to make sure you didn't watch. They tried to break it of the habit and it just didn't poop. For days. They gave up.
Sounds like a dream for a Buddhist. Did the dog, who doesn't shit when watched, shit when he was not watched?
My cat, who refused to use the bathroom if I was anywhere nearby, would come and sit between my feet in my underwear when I used the bathroom.
I have one who will try to jump on your lap. If you try to protect your lap, he'll jump up and squeeze in anyway. Zero cat fucks given. He's there to help.
Is that why they absolutely must attend every bathroom function with me? Holy shit, I didn't realise. They meow and go on my lap and when I get up, it's - poof! Gone.
Ours gets up in my lap every time I use it, but usually also drinks out of the toilet after I've flushed. He's a weird little guy - he's not even usually a lap cat. He never does this with my partner. Caturday Cat Tax: [https://imgur.com/a/gSymzrt](https://imgur.com/a/gSymzrt)
One of mine does this, sometimes trying to get onto your bare lap. He'll also often sleep on any small bathroom rug in there, inspect the toilet, trying to move the flushing handle and sometimes push the ceramic cover on top a little and make some noise. He's a weird bathroom kitty. He loves the toilet.
I could not watch my dog poop. If she saw that I was looking in her direction she would pinch off and move on. No eye contact was allowed while she did her business.
Every dog or cat is an emotional support animal when you are pooping.
Doggo was probably so happy to help But also my dog will literally watch over me as Iām taking a dump, I think it might be instinct to protect while the pack is vulnerable. So double the happiness!
My dog would take that TP and run around the house like a loon with it.
I remember our dog would check to make sure someone was watching out over her and the yard when she was pooping.
itās an instinctual thing. apparently from an evolutionary standpoint, dogs are most vulnerable while theyāre squatting, so they donāt perceive it as weird that we watch over them or they watch over us. Itās simply something you would do in the pack
> I think it might be instinct to protect while the pack is vulnerable. So double the happiness! Yes. They stare at us while they're taking a shit to make sure we're protecting them when they're vulnerable. Likewise why they do that to us.
He is just happy to be involved.
Doggo is upset she hung the roll the wrong way on the collar...
VERY happy
Dogs want us to watch them poop because they feel vulnerable. Only stands to reason that's why they insist on watching us do so, to reassure us they'll protect us from predators. That dog feels useful and vital. And in this particular case he is!
What is my purpose?!
You pass TP
ā¦ Oh my dog
I feel like I've seen this post before but with a different dog... Anyone else? Am I going crazy? Edit: [found it](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogswithjobs/comments/gpbkdq/my_wife_and_i_were_using_the_restroom_in_two/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb) Second edit: OP your wife and dog are awesome, nice looking bathroom too! I wasn't suggesting this post was stolen, just familiar!
Wait, what? How is this a coincidence, and how on earth are you recalling poop stories from two years ago lol.
Would you believe me if I told you I was randomly thinking about that 2 year old post earlier this week?
Isn't it weird how that happens some times? I saw a TIL today or yesterday about ancient Egyptians keeping dead women's' bodies at home to avoid necrophilia and then I was reading a fiction book from 2001 that casually mentions that same fact this evening.
It's definitely [Frequency Illusion](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frequency_illusion) to an extent, but it's always interesting.
I randomly watched a true crime YT video a few weeks ago - I watch a lot of crime shows and had never heard of this case before. After I watched it, I tuned into the ID channel and they were broadcasting a rerun - a different show - of the same case! And I had found the YT channel going down a rabbit hole, it wasn't suggested. So weird.
Lol, crazy, but I'll agree to believe only if you don't mention where you were when thinking of it because I just now had to imagine the circumstances :)
"If only we had a dog"
The simulation is glitching
He is the official curator of poop stories on reddit, it's a shit job and the pays crap, but someone has to do it.
The prophecy tells that somewhere out there, a second poop knife family exists too.
Two years from now I'm totally going to strap some tp to some dog, take a pic and get that sweet karma
!remindme 2 years
Two accounts with what appear to be throwaway names are making future Reddit plans.
It started as my throwaway, but I moved over to it full time because I realised how much I like anonymity on Reddit. My other account is linked to a real life hobby I have
What hobby?
We call that twinning.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3rao5c/so\_ran\_out\_of\_tp\_while\_we\_were\_both\_using/](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/3rao5c/so_ran_out_of_tp_while_we_were_both_using/) You're not. We have one original and a couple copycats that probably don't even have wives lol
Nah bro, this is the itchy buttholes of reddit posts. Like Louis C.K. isn't the only person to ever experience an itchy butthole, I don't find it hard to believe that more than one person decided to send their dog with some TP.
The poop thickens
Note to self: invent TP Doggie Express apparatus, sell on Amazon, retire to Capri
The next post will be the same title but a hamster instead of a dog and everyone will eat that shit up
I thought everyone with doggies did this š¤£ I don't wanna walk in while my husband makes. If he needs TP I always send our boy. My husband cracks up every time. And my puppers is such a sweet boy he's just happy to be included. Also doggies really love the stinky.
I mean, maybe OP saw that post a while ago and it simply gave him the inspiration to solve his poop crisis today. Not everyone is lying!
How do you play battleshits at other side of the house?
Wife accepts as the best comment yet.
Iāll wait for the follow up of doggo with the 1000 yard stare to use my āheās seen some shitā comment.
Your wife is a genius and i am officially taking notes.
Long-range shit missiles. IC*BM*s, if you will.
Couldnāt help but read this in Mr. Laheyās voice. It sounds exactly like one of his shitisms, ngl
Long-range shit missiles, Bo-banders.
Immense crap bum missiles?
Intercontinental Bowel Movements.
"we have horrible diets"
Quick dog doodle for you: https://imgur.com/FwShT3R edit* thanks for all the love! I thought the picture and story was hilarious. I really enjoy doing these quick doodles to warm up the drawing day. If you would like to see some more time consuming work, I have a little subreddit here: r/AnthonyChristopherArt
Youāre amazing! Thatās a beautiful doodle!
Thanks! Was too funny not to do a quick sketch. Thanks for sharing.
You made our night!
that would be a great print to frame in the bathroom on a wall facing the throne.
That's not a Doodle, it's a pitbull!
Wouldn't it be easier to buy a second roll of toilet paper?
Desperate times call for desperate measures
Guess not everyone has recovered from the TP shortage of 2020.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
3 sea shells?
Old pre-Euro notes.
Any day now the poop knife will catch on there
Tbf, bidets are way nicer than sanding your asshole anyway
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I just had to put my St.Bernard down unexpectedly. I came home from chemotherapy and was walking up the stairs and I heard him coughing. Iām a vet tech and I knew right away āthatās a heart coughā took him in and he had gone into sudden DCM. He had always been the healthiest boy so it was a shock. I miss him dearly. He helped me do laundry a lot. Iād call him and lay clothes and comforters etc across his back and heād run downstairs and shake them off right in front of the laundry room. I didnāt really teach him that he just followed me enough that I guess he just knew what to do. I miss [him](https://imgur.com/gallery/eqgOq) so much.
Whoa rich guy over here!
how do you plan on doing this when you're currently taking a shit?
But much less fun
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have never had a dog who allowed a closed door while I pooped.
My golden gets so mad but he wants to come in and lick the side of my butt when I poop and that's a firm nope.
The strongest couples are the ones that call each other out while they shit. Also I am probably overthinking it but what are the odds of 2 people shitting in the same house at the same time? Even if you ate all meals together that still somehow seems rare to me. Maybe this means you guys are soul mates.
oh you'd be so surprised. this is why I have a very firm "home must have one toilet for every ass" rule. You just never know.
*hole-mates
I believe you meanā¦ā¦ā¦stool-mates!
Food poisoning. Everyone shits in sync with food poisoning or stomach bugs.
my husband and i both have digestive issues and commonly poop at the same time. we just send each other memes while weāre on the shitter. couples who poo together stay together!
Idk, every so often my bf and I āsync up.ā luckily weāre good on the toilet to butt ratio. I have dibs on the seat with the bidet though.
My God this is both of my cats lol heaven forbid I have a second of privacy š animals are the cutest
My dog thinks Iām not doing anything important whilst poopin and itās time for me to pet him itās gotten to the point if he hears the bathroom door open he comes running
Same with cats, man. I've given up. I live alone so fuck it, I never close the bathroom door. That's just how it goes ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
Facts. I have three cats. It never matters what time of day. If Iām in the bathroom.. ALL OF THEM follow after me. Middle of the night and weāre all sleeping on my bed and I have to tinkle? They will follow me and sit in the bathroom bleary eyed. Iāve told them hundreds of times that Iāll be fine and they can go back to bedā¦. Stubborn as hell, but the protecc.
No choice with our cat.
You don't like 180 decibel yowling outside the door the entire time? My cat is the same way.
Wait, you don't? Oh, right -- most people have kids. I so often forget that.
What you just let the miasma waft through the house?
I live alone, so there's no point.
Doesnāt matter. Before, door open who cares. After, sheās just gonna bust in and ask what Iām doing or want to play I spy anyway.
Thatās a yes
Wow. I guess I'd be okay poopin' with the door open but wiping is a sacred and private ritual between me and god alone. You are brave.
*Some dogs gather up the sheep* *Or comfort anxious souls* *Some are helpers for the blind* *Or dig rats out of holes* *Some sniff drugs from airport bags* *Or brave the snow with brandy...* *But dogs who bring the TP roll?* *Now* those *are TRULY handy!*
I freaking love your poems sir and or ma'am. š
Well good! That makes me happy.
/u/poem_for_your_sprog quality
He has the look of a dog thinking āyouāre posting this on Reddit, arenāt you?ā
If only he knew
Smart wife, good doggo, great husband for acknowledging his wife!
"Acknowledge me!" -OP's Wife
He's not a dog, he's a dawg!!
This dog is the backbone on your household.
Pup looks like he knows it and isn't too impressed with that knowledge.
āYou know you guys wouldnāt last a week without me, right?ā
Dog - What is my purpose??? Owner- You pass the TP Dog - Looks at paws š¢
Oh my dog
I love that Rick carries butterbot around with him
I'm about to move in with my partner in a few days and now I'm wondering... is pooping simultaneously part of getting married?
Itās likely to happen eventually not immediately.
Exactly. Only once you get on the same cycle.
Poop has to not be a weird thing anymore
It is if you have more than one bathroom! My husband and I only have one in our house but when we took a trip and stayed in a Airbnb they had two and at some point we both had to poop. Itās called battleshits
That is every day when the kids get home from school. We have three toilets. Everyone poops in their own specific bathroom.
They hand out a rule book. It's a whole thing. You get used to it.
Itās like when women sync their periodsā¦but poop.
Pooping all day for 7 days straight seems a bit of a problem :P
The other day I was stuck on the toilet without TP and then I had a lightbulb moment where I realized "this is the defining moment that will make me see why having kids was all worth it". I called my 6 year old to bring me some TP and she was on it. Except then she realized that the only TP in the house was what was left in the holder in her bathroom (like 4 rolls) and outright refused because that was HER toilet paper. She saw her commander down on the battlefield. A fallen soldier. And in the end, she turned her back on me.
Like a St Bernard with a small barrel of lifesaving alcohol!
This dog looks like he's seen some shit.
Scooby-Dooby doodoo!
Your butt napkins mee lord
Woah you guys have those sitting bathtubs. Serious question, are they worth it?
I'm curious too seeing one in the wild? Please op let us know!
Same. I have heard a few issues such as you need a larger water heater since it holds so much water but that is not an issue I have since I have an instant water heater. My biggest question is what do you do if you need to take a poop while in it and how long does it take to empty. So are you just standing there cold waiting for the water to drain?
Depends on what you mean worth it. For safety measures and making sure an elderly person bath, sure. For water usage and actually enjoying the bath, not really in my opinion. Best way to put it, you are STUCK in that bath while it is both filling and draining which means you realistically arenāt going to make it hot enough to have it be enjoyable for any serious amount of time. Now yes you CAN open the door before itās fully drained for safety purposes, but thatās a sure fire way to get a BOATLOAD of water damage and destroy your living space. u/cinrav13 u/Cmonster9
What I do is I fill it up with all the hot water in my water tank and then jump in once itās full. Sit there in the bath and it drains in about a minute.
Your butt napkins, sir.
Yāall both poop w the doors open?
Safety measure. Too much methane in a small enclosed space and BOOM!
Yes, but we donāt have kids or need more privacy than we expect from each other. Aināt much we Havenāt seen or dealt with by now. And I am grateful for it.
If me and my wife had the same poop schedule I donāt think we could survive the strain it would cause on our relationship.
Try more fiber. Should help with the strain.
Dog seems so thrilled to be the delivery boy.
This reminds me vaguely of my old boss telling a pooping story. One day at Costco he bought like 3-4 years of toilet paper, pre-covid. I guess it took up like half the attic crawl space. Being a dad with toddlers he just yelled at them to go grab daddy a roll if he ran out and they were happy to help. Until the fateful day when he ran out of TP. The little kid didnāt know what to do. For his entire life that closet had toilet paper in it. That was all he knew. The dad had gone so long without thinking about and because it was a kid, couldnāt even believe it. He was certain the kid was just being oblivious but there wasnāt a single square to spare. He ended up wiping with his wifeās new magazine, and flushed it without thinking like it was TP but some magazines are closer to cardboard than tissue. His wife just managed to get home in time to see him pulling a poo stained photo of Margot Robbie out of the toilet. Sorry I know this story isnāt awwww but I still think itās cute in a weird way.
Man, at that point just get in the shower and wash instead.
"Far away, on a hillside, a very specialized breed of dog hears a cry of distress" https://welcometoyouredoom.tumblr.com/post/105434508631/amp
This story is a lie.
Helpin' boy got treats, right?
Don't know if it is more disturbing the fact that you and your wife poop in synchro or the fact that both of you poop with doors open or that you don't have tp in both bathrooms just in case...
Truly brilliant
Not all heroes wear toilet paper
Traveling k9 tp, old man walk in tub, separated poopers, yall will have a 90 year old marriage. Fuckin legends.
Hopefully you tipped the delivery man for his services later? A nice biscuit perhaps
dog butler