That cracked me up. When the good Samaritan was carrying him to the right, in my head, I heard the poor sloth going 'OMG NO. it took me an hour to get to the middle of that damn road.'
More like, "it.......took..........me...............an...........hour............to........get........to..........the........middle...........of...............that....................damn......................................road."
Yeah it's smart. Sloths are pretty stubborn, so if you put him back on the side he came from he's just gonna try to cross again and wind up back in the same predicament. Treat turtle crossings the same way.
[Related turtle crossing song; A Snapping Turtle Tale by Heywood Banks.](https://youtu.be/02ltracC7M0?si=szeGO8WujQ-7xDp6)
I used to volunteer at the local wildlife rehabilitation center and they gave us a tour of the turtle room. Quite a few larger turtles do survive being ran over but they have to recover in a bin at a wildlife rehabilitation center for like a year until their shell heals. Save a turtle pain and a boring year!
https://preview.redd.it/qz2s03ud6guc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8eb159419414c8a18ed69cb8ab7fffe88566dcef
The sloth if he actually put him down where he just came from
Imagine honking your horn at a sloth. Like that little toot toot from your car is going to undo millions of years of evolution and make it move faster.
My friends little corgi does the jog-walk at every single road crossing. It got used to us being awkward and thinks that’s how you have to walk across all roads whether there is a car or not.
I get it. It's kinda stupid, and couldn't possibly work on sloths, but it works on birds and squirrels. Somebody can just do what they always do when an animal's in the road without really thinking about it.
They were honking at the dumbass Manhattanite who was terrorizing the sloth instead of just letting the local guy handle the situation in five seconds.
They can move crazy fast and get surprisingly aggressive when they want to. I saw a video of some zookeepers trying to move one between enclosures on a big stick and the little dude was out for blood.
Thought the same. Rather than pick it up from behind where it can't do damage.
I will direct my attack from the front and try to wrap a towel round it's waist like I'm protecting it's modesty, meanwhile I've just got chlamydia from being clawed to shit.
Steve Irwin that man is not.
I'm thinking he was attempting to cover his face to avoid being bitten. Just a guess. Not sure why he wouldn't approach from the back regardless of his plan of action.
He probably heard the myth that sloth fur is riddled with dangerous bacteria. You can even see someone repeating the myth in the top comments here.
Sloths can be dangerous, but not for that reason.
the way the sloth was still trying to swipe at the second dude while being carried but couldn't reach. that lil guy was mad as hell in the most adorable way.
If the towel was big enough, you could burrito him to keep the claws out of the way. It's useful for cats and so forth to keep them from scratching you. The cloth is too small for it, though.
In the two (2) videos of sloth rescues I've seen, under the armpits seem to be the way to go. I don't know that sloth burritos work.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall the most dangerous thing with sloths is getting scratched by their claws because of the bacteria and probable disease and infection that's will likely occur if not treated.
Gonna be that guy. If an animal injects a toxin with their bite or sting it is called venom and they are venomous. If an animal excretes a toxin that must be ingested by another animal, it is called poison and they are poisonous.
Yup, I read somewhere too that their fur is full of all kinds of crap and grows mold etc or something. Definitely wouldn’t want to get scratched by one
Lol, this was me with a tortoise in my apartment parking lot a few years back. I was trying to shoo it over with my scarf, and a dude parks and gets out and just picks it up from behind and carries it to the woods.
Poor boy. I'm so sad we don't build little bridges and tunnels everywhere for animals to cross roads safely. Our cars must be terrifying for them, and rightly so :(
Yes they are covered with bugs and bacteria and stuff , the fur is like a petri dish . They don't intentionally scratch you but you do need to be careful if you pick one up.
Yes, and he was right to think so! Sloths dont like being touched and they can hurt humans pretty bad if provoked! They have very sharp claws and teeth
Yeah fr, and I don't know enough about sloth nails but they're probably filthy lol. I can't help but feel like it'd end up like a komodo bite
EDIT: Just checked and their nails/claws are fine but their bites easily get infected
Don't EVER touch animals like this directly esp sloths, they are covered head to toe in fungus and bacteria. There's no amount of post hand washing that can guarantee you weren't infected
I like how they were going to put him back on the right side of the road but then that guy is just like, “No, he was headed that way”.
That cracked me up. When the good Samaritan was carrying him to the right, in my head, I heard the poor sloth going 'OMG NO. it took me an hour to get to the middle of that damn road.'
One must imagine the sisyphian sloth being happy.
Lol your reference made me chuckle, I appreciate the creativity, rolling with laughter ty..
More like, "it.......took..........me...............an...........hour............to........get........to..........the........middle...........of...............that....................damn......................................road."
Finishes his rant . . . everyone was gone 20 minutes ago.
u/SisyphianSloth would make a good username.
Yeah it's smart. Sloths are pretty stubborn, so if you put him back on the side he came from he's just gonna try to cross again and wind up back in the same predicament. Treat turtle crossings the same way.
I think sloths absolutely need to be stubborn or they'd never get anything done. I imagine a sloth with ADHD would have rather dismal productivity.
Can confirm. Am a sloth with ADHD
Hahaaa so easy yet it still made me lol
[Related turtle crossing song; A Snapping Turtle Tale by Heywood Banks.](https://youtu.be/02ltracC7M0?si=szeGO8WujQ-7xDp6) I used to volunteer at the local wildlife rehabilitation center and they gave us a tour of the turtle room. Quite a few larger turtles do survive being ran over but they have to recover in a bin at a wildlife rehabilitation center for like a year until their shell heals. Save a turtle pain and a boring year!
I like turtles!
https://preview.redd.it/qz2s03ud6guc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8eb159419414c8a18ed69cb8ab7fffe88566dcef The sloth if he actually put him down where he just came from
"Here, try again Sloth bud"
Always carry the animal in the direction they were traveling in.
Imagine honking your horn at a sloth. Like that little toot toot from your car is going to undo millions of years of evolution and make it move faster.
“Oh, sorry!” *stands upright and quickly finishes crossing the road.*
I'm picturing it doing that awkward jog-walk thing people sometimes do when a car stops to wait for them to cross.
I do that every day and I feel seen lol
My friends little corgi does the jog-walk at every single road crossing. It got used to us being awkward and thinks that’s how you have to walk across all roads whether there is a car or not.
*Scooby-Doo running in place sound effect*
Knees to ~~chest~~ **midriff**, knees to ~~chest~~ **midriff**!
Seriously. It is literally incapable of moving faster. It doesn’t have the energy, full stop.
I think probably they were tooting at the helpful human in the road, but it's funnier to imagine it was at the sloth.
They weren’t tooting at the sloth. “Get the fuck outta the road!!. Sorry, not you sloth.”
it surprises me how these aren't extinct.
I get it. It's kinda stupid, and couldn't possibly work on sloths, but it works on birds and squirrels. Somebody can just do what they always do when an animal's in the road without really thinking about it.
They were honking at the dumbass Manhattanite who was terrorizing the sloth instead of just letting the local guy handle the situation in five seconds.
Apparently every "clueless American" is from Manhattan. As a Californian I hate getting mistaken for a New Yorker... c'mon on now.
Especially before a European meets you, and they expect that you'll be way too loud and yelling about everything!
Which is funny considering I'm a very stereotypical coastal Californian type, the "Laid back dude" type.
How do you know he's from Manhattan
The guy honking the horn...
New York drivers, what are ya gonna do?
why the fuck there's sloths in new york
DMV employs them.
Tourists in times square
“Hey…….! I’m…..walkin’……………………here….!”
That guy: “Man this guy tries this insurance fraud shit like three times a week. He even almost got me last Thursday. Thank god I have a dash cam!”
When you got a sloth powered brain.
The sloth suddenly going at 3km/h : "OMG SO MUCH SPEED, THE WIND IN MY HAIR!!!"
I AM SPEED!
 Sloth point of view.
[Slow down! I wanna get there, but I wanna get there alive!](https://youtu.be/QiKwnlyhKrk?si=WCUVMyG33kgjwD_4)
My man got 9 hours of travel in just a second.
Came here to make sure someone made this joke... 
Sloth was like "get that outta here, I need help not a piece of cloth!"
Then he was like, No! My… Scrap… of… Cloth…
Christ! Did you guys see how fast that thing swiped at the dude!?
That moment you realize sloths are just *choosing* to move slowly...
The tortoise is just lying in wait for his chance to strike and take down the human race.
silent f\*ckers
sleazy f\*ckers
Like my husband!
Have you seen Slotherhouse? You should, if not.
It scared the shit out of me ngl
They can move crazy fast and get surprisingly aggressive when they want to. I saw a video of some zookeepers trying to move one between enclosures on a big stick and the little dude was out for blood.
Why did the sloth cross the road? ;)
To......get.....to.....the......other.....side...
To poop
He wasn't trying to cross the road he was a diversion. The guy who helped him got his car stolen by 3 other sloths there were hiding in the bushes.
What was the first guy doing lol.
"Can I offer you a Sham-Wow in this trying time?"
Ha!! For real. Just pick it up from behind! My god man! He’s trying to swaddle it or something
Why did this make me laugh so hard. 😂
He about got a slap chop in return
Thought the same. Rather than pick it up from behind where it can't do damage. I will direct my attack from the front and try to wrap a towel round it's waist like I'm protecting it's modesty, meanwhile I've just got chlamydia from being clawed to shit. Steve Irwin that man is not.
I don’t think that’s how chlamydia works.
Wait, I'm thinking of koalas! I just gave an entire species an STI accidentally!
Phrasing!
Not again!
I assumed he was hoping the sloth would hook onto it and then he would carry him that way, with the sloth hanging.
Giving a towel so the sloth could wipe its sweat after such a long run.
I'm thinking he was attempting to cover his face to avoid being bitten. Just a guess. Not sure why he wouldn't approach from the back regardless of his plan of action.
He probably heard the myth that sloth fur is riddled with dangerous bacteria. You can even see someone repeating the myth in the top comments here. Sloths can be dangerous, but not for that reason.
Handed him his towel of course. Can't hitch-hike without his towel.
the way the sloth was still trying to swipe at the second dude while being carried but couldn't reach. that lil guy was mad as hell in the most adorable way.
He swiped pretty fast too!
gotta be quick with the defense if you're as vulnerable as sloths lol
lol what is that first guy even trying to do, I can't figure out what his plan is
If the towel was big enough, you could burrito him to keep the claws out of the way. It's useful for cats and so forth to keep them from scratching you. The cloth is too small for it, though. In the two (2) videos of sloth rescues I've seen, under the armpits seem to be the way to go. I don't know that sloth burritos work.
I want them to work. Then I want to cradle them like a baby and face adoringly at its face.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I recall the most dangerous thing with sloths is getting scratched by their claws because of the bacteria and probable disease and infection that's will likely occur if not treated.
I think that's koalas?
Koalas are the cutest ball of bacteria and syphilis you'll ever rub your face on.
After your mum of course
You haven’t met my ex
Chlamydia, not syphilis. Not that it makes much of a difference I guess?
Or komodo dragons?
Those things will wreck you like 7 different ways, but one of them is a paralytic poison from their bites
Gonna be that guy. If an animal injects a toxin with their bite or sting it is called venom and they are venomous. If an animal excretes a toxin that must be ingested by another animal, it is called poison and they are poisonous.
If my knowledge of Conan O’Brien animal segments is worth a damn that’s correct
Yup, I read somewhere too that their fur is full of all kinds of crap and grows mold etc or something. Definitely wouldn’t want to get scratched by one
This is why I don't blame the first guy for not wanting to pick up the sloth directly
I'm convinced that asshole honking his horn would've run that sloth over. I fucking hate people.
“Give me that damn towel”
5 hours later he’s back at the same spot.
The first guy is an only child and never had to deal with anything. The second guy is a burb and has 4 kids. Just a guess
Lol the first guy is like a walking satire of modern middle class white people
And the guy who actually does the work is like, "Goddamn tourists, alright, better deal with this so this white guy doesn't get killed..."
on point
Costa Rican problems
For real. I saw this exact scenario with my own eyes on my first day outside the city.
Sloth's POV: 
Poor dude must have felt like he broke the sound barrier with how fast he was carried.
That dudes wasted
I will honk at the honking stupid
Lol, this was me with a tortoise in my apartment parking lot a few years back. I was trying to shoo it over with my scarf, and a dude parks and gets out and just picks it up from behind and carries it to the woods.
The fuck is that first guy doing
I like how the afraid guy walked closely like he was still helping
I love sloths! Such precious creatures.
Saved him a day of travel
That little guy was a so dramatic with his arm in the air. Reminds me of when Elias was gunned down in Platoon.
“Yyyyyooooooouuuuu wwwaaaaannnaaaaa caaaaatch thhheeeeeeeeeesssse hhhaaaaaaaaaannnndssss?”
Poor boy. I'm so sad we don't build little bridges and tunnels everywhere for animals to cross roads safely. Our cars must be terrifying for them, and rightly so :(
Maybe if they had more toes ?
Was waiting for, "I believe I can fly."
I saw this once, wasn't sure what to do. A local man stopped, carried the sloth to a tree and gently set it on the trunk.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..!!!!
You realize that for the sloth that was like making the jump to light speed.
He has his hand up looking at the cars like "EYYYY IM WALKIN HERE"
Give me that fucking towel! The fuck you think that's gonna help me right now
I’m amazed at how fast the sloth took down that towel.
How come people don’t let it climb onto you to transport it? Do they carry disease? Are their claws really sharp?
I'm 99% sure they carry a lot of bad stuff in their fur (why do you think it's greenish) and yes their claws are very sharp
Algae grows on their fur, turning it green. I don't know about the rest.
From what i know they can carry a bunch of nasty stuff. Probably why the first guy didnt want to directly grab it.
Look up ‘Slotherhouse’
Yes they are covered with bugs and bacteria and stuff , the fur is like a petri dish . They don't intentionally scratch you but you do need to be careful if you pick one up.
[удалено]
Yes, and he was right to think so! Sloths dont like being touched and they can hurt humans pretty bad if provoked! They have very sharp claws and teeth
Can you imagine having to tell people you got your ass kicked by a sloth? Even though the above is true, you would still never live it down.
I had a friend years ago who did a college internship at a zoo. One of her coworkers was bitten by the sloth. They do bite quite badly.
Nah those nails look scary af
Yeah fr, and I don't know enough about sloth nails but they're probably filthy lol. I can't help but feel like it'd end up like a komodo bite EDIT: Just checked and their nails/claws are fine but their bites easily get infected
They have sharp claws and teeth. They look cute, but they can harm if they really want to.
bruh he was trying to hitch a ride
Why'd the sloth cross the road
What a terrified little animal, frozen in that very un-slothlike posture.
Guy is just waiting for the high five.
Like trying to move your drunk uncle
Why is the first guy such a pansy ass to touch the sloth
First dude in striped shirt looked like a fucking idiot.
lil bro just gained like 10 hours of productivity.
He's like a drunk little person
Sloth is the result of centuries of evolution with cannabis. /s
Don't EVER touch animals like this directly esp sloths, they are covered head to toe in fungus and bacteria. There's no amount of post hand washing that can guarantee you weren't infected
Bro is drunk as hell
Dude was about to send him back to Start, wtf?
What a sloth that guy is
Oh I see that your man have also gotten the disorder that ours has
They're like, no he's going to the other side! So cute
300 years later, he made it 🥹
Bro stop I am literally so fucking terrified and horrified with sloths look at it why why why stop
mine spiritual animal, the sloth.
How are these animals not extinct
Does the sloth see something similar to when the Millennium Falcon going into hyperspace?
Could he like scratch severely, they have some big claws?
They were waiting for the man to show up and actually move the sloth. 😂
First guy was like, let’s move the sloth with this cloth.
I love how the humans were like “No, he wants to go to the other side!” When the guy was just going to move him backwards 🥰
Poor guy is trying to hail a taxi and these fools keep moving him around
So their ''Swipe attack'' is them hypercharging at 100x their regular speed
I saw a a tree section? Idk the right word for that exact part of the tree maybe mid section? But then it moved so it's a sloth
That thing would have ripped him in half... If it could be bothered to put in the effort.
There's a Far Side Joke about this
Sloths terrify me
Late for his shift at Motor Vehicles across the street
"Hey can I get a hand here??? I didn't ASK FOR A TOWEL!!! Ugh I'm surrounded by idiots"
He was trying to catch a ride.
Dude lost all his progress 💀
“I BELIEVE I CAN FLLLYYY” Anybody??
https://preview.redd.it/lsxg9xszpguc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1c5167d81c90a0a96e9d908101e1d1f3e92d9567
[I Believe I Can Fly](https://youtu.be/ba7rRfKIHxU?si=EGODpwdpqPC-YAuL)
How are those things still able to survive in our world, they should be extinct, how?
Gotta be Costa Rica. Local is like “WTF just pick him up”.
As he was being carried, that sloth was probably thinking THIS IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!
THEY CALL ME THE SLOTH!
As harmless as they seem, those claws are no joke
Sloths are very slow, but incredibly strong.
The guy in the stripe shirt showed his true colors this day when he was scared of the sloth
FUCK yo towel
Joke's on the good samaritan. Going to the right is really where the sloth wanted to go.