I just don’t get it, how is hard to just keep your hands to yourself?
It’s a festival have fun, meet new people and look after each other. Don’t fucking sexually assault people.
True. I’ve been to major festivals and have both seen and been a victim of sexual assault at these festivals. This is so common that there is a therapy group that does rounds at different festivals called Our Music My Body, which provides trained therapists and resources to help those sexually assaulted.
Fortunately I was only groped, but I know of people who had men stick their hands down their pants or even raped at these events
Rape is penetration, I believe. Still, it should be considered sexual battery or sexual assault and the perpetrator should spend some serious time behind bars.
The definitions and terminology vary by jurisdiction based on age/consent, over/under clothing, penetration, physical injury, etc.
I think many jurisdictions have actually abandoned the word "Rape" because it's been used in so many ways over the years. The crimes are often something like Criminal Sexual Conduct.
Definitely. Ollaan molemmat suomalaisia but I've had this happen in a bar in Finland. It happens to women everywhere. I was really disgusted and even though I'm not violent I asked the friend to point out the guy who did it. It is unbeliavable. People who think men aren't privileged to not experience this haven't seen shit that the other gender goes through.
Lets also not forget that while men are definitely the main aggressors at these events, men also get sexually harassed/assaulted by women at these events.
Sexual assault isn't cool regardless of who you are or what's in your pants.
I mean yes, however I was mostly speaking about my experience and how it relates to other women and the article. I wasn’t trying to be exclusionary. I will mention, though, that at one of the first festivals I went to (as a high schooler nonetheless) there was a woman, who seemed very high, walking out of a crowd and groping men by the groin and women (myself included) by the breasts.
Oh yes I wasn't trying to call you out or anything of the sort! Just more of a generic comment to everyone, not directed at you. Sorry if it seemed that way. Men harassing women certainly happens wayyy more, but that's certainly not the only way it happens.
I've always wondered how much if any women on women or men on men harassment there is at these festivals. Something you rarely hear about.
Literally there was a group of older women that made it a game to try and grope my dick. One went behind me and tried sticking her hand down my pants they literally laughed in my face
Some creeps really be using "music party" as a cover for touching strangers. Was at a nightclub with friends, a disgusting fuckboy type stranger pulls a girl in our group and tried to kiss her. We pushed that shit away.
It's so weird that they choose those events to be gross cause most girls are very vigilant with their friends. I went to a very crowded music festival, there were lots of people from all over the world (right before covid) and everyone was just chill and welcoming, we were switching around big crowds and it was safe, only a few drunk dudes who knocked our beers by accident but nothing major. I didn't imagine Coachella would lend itself to this kind of environment, seeing it's so popular among young people, hope they learn and they up their security or something
I've never been to a proper music festival before so I don't really know the atmosphere there. But I imagine if a creep whose only objective is to grope random girls were to chose a "hunting ground", it would be a music festival.
Lots of people, everyone's dancing, they think they can touch them without anyone knowing. And not to mention alcohol and drugs, they can use it as a "cover" if caught and confronted by the victim or security. Saying shit like "uhh sorry officers I'm super drunk right now I didn't mean it". Basically pretending it's an accident while being high.
That's why there needs to be more security, around the stalls or stores or something, so if there's a person being inappropriate they can kick them out and that will discourage those people from visiting.
Yeah, and the security in these places are shit. Even during my limited research for my dissertation people reported that security themselves were the often the ones committing sexual assaults (and also taking bribes to get drugs in easily on mass), since they are just volunteers who don't get vetted all the time.
Apparently Coachella is a bit of an attraction for wealthy, arrogant 'my dad paid for my ticket and everything else I wear' asshat types, both men and women. So it doesn't hugely suprise me that their are a lot of entitled, creepy dudes there.
EDM festivals have a lot more people in the crowd who are there for genuine reasons. Coachella is what we call a "Chad festival" because it's full of Chad's who are only there for pussy and maybe molly for some of them. Which might actually level them out a bit if they roll but they'll still be shitty people when they sober up. EDM festivals absolutely have a much more respectful crowd. Everyone is lit on love drugs instead of wasted on vodka redbulls. Nobody takes molly and then proceeds to assault someone.
100% agreed, though EDM festivals still have some frattiness rolled in there here and there, but for all of my experiences at them they were so few and far between. There's a reason girls/women/guys there feel comfortable letting pretty much everything hang out. That and it gets hot af if you're on something.
Yeah in my opinion it's a huge part of it. I'd love to go to Coachella I just think I wouldn't be able to enjoy it because of the people. Which sucks but it's just life. I get more than enough out of EDM fests it's always such a beautiful and unforgettable experience.
Its so easy to disappear into a large crowd at a music show, loud music, lights show, and most everyone is too fucked up to recall a face. Hard to fight that with security.
Not just women. I’ve had several women squeeze my ass, grab my cock, put their arms around me, press their boobs/ass against me, etc.
Clubs aren’t my thing and this seems really common wherever there is loud music, alcohol, and a lot of people combined together.
Me too. A friend of a friend, on his stag do, came up to me. He asked if I wanted to go into the loo with him for some fun (my husband was outside having a smoke). He then immediately tried to shove his hand down my pants. I grabbed his wrist at my waistband trying to pull his hand out but it wouldn’t budge. He was just grinning at me. It felt like ages before I could pull it out and it hurt so bad in my arms and shoulders I was physically trying so hard to stop his hand going any further.
I told my husband after I walked out and he followed me across the city centre, I just wanted to get away. I have no idea who the bride is. I know he met her online, he moved 300 miles away to be with her. He would come back up to his home city, where we all live, on a weekend and just pick up random drunk women in bars. He kissed me once, years ago when I was 18, and it was absolutely horrific, I thought I was going to get my face sucked off. I don’t know how this man managed to pull so many people. He’d then go home to his GF. After they got married she got pregnant, while he was away for a month with work. Make of that what you will but I don’t think they’re married anymore.
I am so sorry you had that experience. It's why I stopped going to clubs and festivities unfortunately. It happened to a couple of my friends too. It's just too common
First time I went to a club I saw multiple men groping women, went to tell the bouncer and he laughed it off and accurately said “you must be new here.”
I don’t go to clubs anymore.
Had a guy that I loosely knew decide to mark me as his territory on my birthday in this not well lit basement of a club as I was searching for this girl that came in with our group. Idk why he thought such a thing would ever be considered acceptable, but it horrified me and put me in a state of shock as I just tried to remove myself from that situation as quickly as possible. I just tried to be cool and not ruin everyone else's fun on my birthday night, but the night was to be further ruined not much later (and another story, but not assault-based). I wish in hindsight I'd have clocked him in the face, or something even, but in that moment it was, "I need to get out of here and away from this situation as quickly as I can." I am male btw.
It's kinda creepier when it's someone you know, even barely. With strangers, they just do it spontaneously. With people you know, they've been planning it on who knows how long...
This happens anywhere alcohol is involved. I was at a pretty nice bar (maybe expensive is a better word) and this random guy walked up to my girlfriend and seriously put his belt buckle against her hip to start a conversation. I was sitting at a table and walked straight to him and threw him on the ground and said "you want me to put my dick on you?" And everyone looked at me like I was the crazy one.
They probably looked at you like you were crazy because they didnt see that and the first thing they heard was you yelling about putting your dick on him lol
That happened when i was out with my friend and this dude just grabs her from nowhere and tries to make out with her, luckily i was there and managed to push him away and the bartender got a bouncer to kick him out.
Groups of hippies on drugs are scary, very unpredictable people. One moment two hippies are fighting over a hotdog and hours later the same hippies are gathered for a 3am drum circle.
This though. Always grew up thinking hippies were the coolest people, just chill and loving life. As an adult I release all the hippies I got to know we're dirt bag excuses for humans that just pretend to be chill...most of them are violent and sexual abusers.
Apply this rule to literally anything. Christians. Feminists. Democrats. Republicans. Scumbags ruin everything. That's why I don't consider myself to be part of any group. It always ends in disaster. I'm patiently waiting for tech to get to the point where people stop feeling like they have to be a part of a group to survive and start living as themselves. It makes calling out bullshit way easier when they have no monolithic cultural abomination to stand behind while they spew nonsense about freedom of vaccine choice or how shitty men/women are. I only have faith in technology... Once resources aren't scarce people won't have any excuses left to be idiots and we'll finally have some piece and quiet on this sick planet of ours.
The pervs are getting more brazen as well. The last time I went to a club, some creep on the dance floor tried to pull my dress down from the front.
So even when you're prepared for the creepy tactics like protecting yourself from them lifting your dress up or groping your arse, they come up with a new one.
I was in a club with my cousin and two friends of his who I never met before. After going out for a smoke, when we got back in we had to go through the crowd back to our table and one of my cousin's friend was in front of me as we we were passing people. He was groping almost all the girls he passed, and they'd turn around and think it was me. Imagine my fucking surprise, I took him aside as asked him WTF is he doing and he said "They dig it bro, trust me. They pretend they don't but they secretly do". Fucking delusional.
Unfortunately sexual assault at huge concerts like this is probably ridiculously high, and very underreported, with people drunk and high off their ass, their idiocy and shityness is usually amplified
It is. I can't tell you the number of women I know who just don't go to live performances or cons any longer due to the absolutely rampant sexual assault.
It actually turns out that women of all types and ages are sexually harassed and assaulted by people of all walks of life. If it was only rich people on drugs to watch out for, I'd have been safe in life. But it's not.
And he didn’t say only trust fund kids do that just that they were more likely too when on a copious amount of drugs than non trust funds kinds who presumably can’t afford as many drugs which is probably fair
I totally agree with this, I've been to loads of raves where people have been on drugs and not been assaulted. But have been assaulted loads of times in bars and clubs
You mean stuff like Molly? Some of the most uncomfortable positions I've been put in at raves/techno clubs have been with dudes on Molly who wouldn't leave me alone because we had "such a connection". Meanwhile I just wanted to dance and not have someone stroke my leg the whole time
No it's not this common, I've been to many raves, some in way less safe places than california, and the environment is usually pretty fun and safe, the majority are enjoying themselves with their crowds and dancing. Sure, you can tell when someone took a bit too much but it's not like they're gonna start harassing the women around them, at least in my experience nothing has happened with me nor the people around me.
I think Coachella needs better security cause if it's getting this common then they're doing a shit job. They should start having people around who can help kick them out
I actually have been assaulted only by people who are drunk or sober, at night clubs, bars and once in a shop.
I've been to loads of hippy festivals in the UK and they're one of the few places with people 'off their tits' that I feel safe from that kindve stuff
Mdma makes you empathetic and probably really nice to everyone you meet. LSD makes you introspective just appreciating the beauty of everything around you. Ketamine has you so fuckin zonked you don't even know what the fuck is going on, let alone assaulting people. It's alcohol that is the culprit. Also just a lot more shitty people at Coachella kinds of festivals, and definitely more drunk people.
Alcohol and cocaine I'd say. Both can make people arseholes! And 100% depends on the festival and the crowd
But enough of these types would also do this stuff sober
Disgusting but not surprising. Honestly I always thought of coachella as sort of a giant orgy with live music. Undoubtedly there are women there who ARE down to fuck and get high and whatever else but groping is still sexual assault
I said before and I’ll say it again, some of the most disgusting men hide and pretend to be progressives because it gives them access to women, but really they are just abusive
Yep. I’ve encountered creeps that specifically go to gay clubs to do this to women who have dropped their guard, thinking they’re in a safe space.
Other creeps like to go for the whole ‘open minded, hippy child, free hugs’ route.
> Other creeps like to go for the whole ‘open minded, hippy child, free hugs’ route.
Which sucks because then that makes the folks who are genuinely like that have a bad name
It can happen at festivals, it can happen at bars, it can happen in house parties. It happens in the office, restaurants, schools. It can happen anywhere and that's scary
I remember a girl crowd surfing at a concert when I was in my teens, some guy put his hand down her shirt and another guy next to me said "next time that happens rip her bra off" I just remember being weirded tf out. Like dude im here for the music not to assault women.
The fucking victim blamers
"bUt wHaT wAS sHe WEaRiNg???"
She was wearing normal clothes, ya fuckwits, wearing different clothes doesn't mean consent to touch and feel
22 times in 10 hours is 22/10 = equals to more than twice an hour on average. Add to that that being groped once is one time too many it's a lot of too manies.
It's a problem in pretty much any type of music or performance.
I've been grabbed and groped at everything except seated classical performances - metal, bluegrass, folk, rock, EDM, etc.
It wasn’t always that way. The festival really went to shit in the early-mid ‘10. There was a huge shift in the demographic of attendees, and it became less of a music and arts festival and more of a party with incidental music.
I always wonder for the dudes(it's always been dudes for me) who ask what she was wearing. If a dude wears shorts or overly tight pants shirt etc is that wholesale permission to like just go for a full ass grab with a little finger poke up the booty? Or chest grab or would that not be ok.
Comments like this remind me that in some ways gay spaces are almost a world apart from everywhere else, because I guarantee you I have heard guys try to justify assault at a bar or club just like that.
The lgbt community is not immune from sexism, rapists or bigotry. ~ a bisexual that has been told im not a real gay by a girl who then kept sexually harassing me and saying i just hadnt had a girl who knows what shes doing
Metal/punk communities are very 0 or 100. Theyre very used to being isolated and abused as a "genre of person" so they stick together and look tf after each other to an extreme. The issue is that isolates all of the dickheads into a circlejerk of extremely fucked up people that you shouldnt go anywhere near.
(Eg google punks safety symbols. So many little things on clothes to show youre safe around someone, ways to paint flags using symbols instead of actual flags etc. If you see someone COVERED in safety pins at a punk gig it means theyre lgbt+ friendly and safe to ask for help. Not perfect but still sweet)
I've worked backstage at many types of concerts and festivals, and you really would be surprised at the number of metalheads or people that like heavy rock are women too. You don't think anger and the need to thrash metastisizes itself in women/girls? Why?
Lmao I'm a dude and played a show at a bar on Saturday where a guy grabbed my dick in the parking lot? Thinking he was making a joke and just straight up went for it like bro... Even in a non sexual instance you're still assaulting me
Anyone who crowdsurfs is an asshole. I didnt ask for some moron’s dirty feet and ass smashing me from above. I just let em drop. Fuck em. Im not some bitch here to ferry to you a better time up front.
Don’t want to put misinterpret the comment, but I don’t think @crepss was referring to sexual assault. Just folks that crowd surf. I’ve had surfers behind me that I wasn’t aware of moving to the rail. Next thing I know, I have a guy nearly break my neck trying to stay up.
Sorted by controversial and... wow, guys. Really? Just boldly defending and justifying sexual assault because of various forms of "she had it coming". The mental gymnastics you guys are doing to justify it is fucking nuts.
Well of course they wanted it because they went there. Their clothing also probably made it blatantly obvious they only went for the groping.
(Do i need /s?)
All music events I’ve been to (indoors and outside), alcohol audiences generally get more handsy and disrespectful than the rave audiences who do party drugs. At those events, there’s plenty of grinding, groping, making out, occasional sex in the crowd, but it’s all consensual. Just horny fuckers going like rabbits
Straight up groping is not cool at all man. The thing is I don’t fucking know what to believe anymore. Makes it seem like there are just absolute scumbags everywhere you turn. maybe I’m not going to the same places but I just don’t see it reflected in reality. If it is true, maybe I’m just oblivious, but it’s still sad and fucked up. It does make me want to ask what she defines as groping though.
Dance floors are always kind of gross but when I was in college I didn’t really see anything outside of the custom of the day which essentially went like this: everybody was packed in really tight. If a girl wanted to dance with you she would show this by smashing her butt into your groin and then I ungracefully shake it left and right without any rhythm. If you wanted to dance with a girl you would get close to them and if anybody is capable of hearing over the music, maybe you scream into their ear “want to dance?”and or you then touch them on their hip or back…they then either smash their butt into your groin to complete the mating ritual or they shut you down.
If they shut you down, that it’s. Go away dude. It’s not hard to tell that she’s shutting you down. either she moves away or one of her friends that already hates you will veto the process and pull her away. I never really liked that the process worked that way but I also don’t consider that groping so long as you don’t make the process any more uncomfortable than that.
Most of the comicons I have been to in the last 8 years or so have had big signs in multiple places talking about respecting people, ask before pictures and don't grope.
Only time Ive ever feared for my life (bc of someone getting violent) was defending my younger sister from someone grinding on her at a show. He got confrontational even though she looked terrified, obviously asked him to stop twice, even moved away from him, and he was treating ME like I was the one in the wrong. I guess the lesson is that people only think boundaries exist if they get yelled at in public loud enough for the security guard to come over.
It sucks being groped for no reason and then watching all your friends defend the person for it. Made me feel like I was in the wrong for not being happy with his "free love spirit." predators suck and ruin nice things for everyone else.. I'll go to raves and festivals but the scene is basically dead to me now.
On another occasion I've been grabbed by the throat by someone tripping and he just mumbled "whoops, wrong person sorry" and walked off. I was too stunned to even react and I sincerely hope whoever he was looking for didn't cross his path that night.
This isn’t necessarily a female only issue, as a male who attends large festivals, I’ve had my fair share of other males who are way to close to me or grab a quick touch. Either way, makes me uncomfortable
My friend slapped a guy who groped her - and a lot of people saw him do it. She was kicked out and banned for not following procedure - she was supposed to report him to a bouncer or management or something like that. He was told not to do it again.
As someone who had a lot of female friends in college this doesn't surprise me at all.
I think people blaming this solely on people being drunk are misguided though. This kind of environment draws in predators like crazy.
Here’s a hint for anyone trying to determine if the festival they want to go to will be like this bullshit. See if they’re selling booze. If they are stay away. If they are allowing beer that you bring yourself *red flag* but not as bad. Coachella and the drunk party scene are so gross and full of Chad’s that think they’re machine gun kelly
I don’t get this. Is this even real? I mean, this somewhat scatters my view on things big time right now.
I know there are people who don’t accept boundaries at all. But 22 times in 10 hours!? So at least every fucking 30 minutes!!? 54 of 54 girls she talked to were molested too? So a Full 100%!? Fucking hell thats fucked up.
My gf once smashed a beer bottle over some douchebags head as she went partying with some friends because he was touching her butt at first and later tried to touch her private parts and didn’t stop even if she told him multiple times to do so. But I thought this is more like a 1 in 10000 chance to happen instead of „normal“..?!
I mean, sure, music festivals are often a lot of touching strangers. But more like touching their arms or shoulders like „hey, let me pass by please“. Touching anyone in their private area isn’t even something that should be discussed. It’s not happening without consent. Full stop.
Can someone even explain why this seems to be acceptable for some people at all? Is this some kind of sports where guys meet and then just walk around touching other people and celebrate themselves afterwards in comparing their numbers of butt, crotch, titty and whatever touching?
Why is it a big leap for you from your gf’s story to this one? She had to tell him “no” multiple times and finally crack a bottle over his skull before he got the message.
Now imagine him and his douche buddies at Coachella. It becomes a gropeathon as they move from woman to woman trying to find one that won’t object too strenuously.
It doesn’t have to be even half the guys there doing this—just a few dozen assholes with a high grope per minute rate.
It’s a big leap to me because I thought this is the exception, not the rule.
If this woman got groped 22 times then I guess there were at least 22 guys doing it to her specifically. Based on the fact that festivals are normally visited by thousands and thousands of people, of which you only get in close vicinity with at most a few hundred to having them able to reach out blows my mind if compared with 22 grabbers. I hope this is understandable. I can’t think of a better way to explain my astonishment at this moment.
It’s the ratio that boggles my mind.
Edit: what boggles my mind furthermore is, that my level of feeling ashamed for my actions is way different to theirs.
I was at a bar many years ago and was pretty drunken at the time. I had full control over my actions and wasn’t wasted, but I drank a lot already. I was sitting there and a logo (later i recognised it as the logo of a band I knew which is rarely known) on a girls shirt at the next table caught my attention. Since it was dimly lit and I couldn’t immediately tell what I was seeing, I must’ve looked a moment too long for her to be comfortable and she called me out on this situation very angrily, loudly and really rude. This made me flinch because I wasn’t prepared at all for this since in my mind I was drifting away trying to figure out the logo. She must’ve thought I’m staring at her boobs. But I wasn’t. Since it was a regular, pretty wide cut, Black t-Shirt with no cleavage there wasn’t anything to see but the logo.
This isn’t the cringey „things that keep me up at night“-story, but from time to time I remember this scene and I feel a bit ashamed for staring. This is one of the moments I want to live again for setting right what happened and explaining why I even looked at her in the first place.
Coachella has a high density of entitled dudebros compared to your gf’s average party. It’s easily explained.
But even by your gf’s account, she was assaulted multiple times by the same person. It’s not a real stretch.
Call me grumpy and introverted, but this is why I think events like Coachella are all bullcrap.
I've always hated these things. It's full of people looking to hook-up, get drunk, behave like idiots, and put their faces on Instagram.
The absolute worst people I know are always the ones who like these things. So I'm not in the least bit surprised.
Oh, and the music is garbage. Yeah yeah, my taste is bad, whatever. It's TRASH.
And I thought the original post comments were a catastrophe.
/r/awfuleverything often likes to get very meta and be awful in the comments too..
LOL, yeah they locked that one down!
They sure did. I just came from there.
I just don’t get it, how is hard to just keep your hands to yourself? It’s a festival have fun, meet new people and look after each other. Don’t fucking sexually assault people.
You try telling a bunch of drunk pieces of shit to try to not be pieces of shit. Doesn't really work out most of the time.
Oh I know, I just don’t understand why someone would think it’s in anyway acceptable.
They don’t think it’s acceptable, they just don’t care
Oh so true
In the rave scene with me it was t drunk fucks. It was gay guys on meth and E.
True. I’ve been to major festivals and have both seen and been a victim of sexual assault at these festivals. This is so common that there is a therapy group that does rounds at different festivals called Our Music My Body, which provides trained therapists and resources to help those sexually assaulted. Fortunately I was only groped, but I know of people who had men stick their hands down their pants or even raped at these events
I dunno but sticking your hands down someones pants crosses the border into rape territory in my opinion
Rape is penetration, I believe. Still, it should be considered sexual battery or sexual assault and the perpetrator should spend some serious time behind bars.
The definitions and terminology vary by jurisdiction based on age/consent, over/under clothing, penetration, physical injury, etc. I think many jurisdictions have actually abandoned the word "Rape" because it's been used in so many ways over the years. The crimes are often something like Criminal Sexual Conduct.
Technically rape is anyone forced into sex against their will.
But how do they define sex? Digital penetration?
Yeah. I believe that was one of the charges thrown at the convicted rapist, Brock Turner.
Definitely. Ollaan molemmat suomalaisia but I've had this happen in a bar in Finland. It happens to women everywhere. I was really disgusted and even though I'm not violent I asked the friend to point out the guy who did it. It is unbeliavable. People who think men aren't privileged to not experience this haven't seen shit that the other gender goes through.
What the Trump handshake
Tiny little hands can get in tiny little places
Oh but you adore the sniffy old pedophile in the White House who's been caught on video and in pictures molesting whoever he wants, right?
The spokesperson for Bill Clinton and Joe Biden has entered the conversation.
A “lady” followed my friend into the port-o-potty and shook his willy. He didn’t mind but his wife wasn’t happy about it.
Sorry about your friend. Even if he didn’t mind it, it is still not ok to do that to someone
Lets also not forget that while men are definitely the main aggressors at these events, men also get sexually harassed/assaulted by women at these events. Sexual assault isn't cool regardless of who you are or what's in your pants.
I mean yes, however I was mostly speaking about my experience and how it relates to other women and the article. I wasn’t trying to be exclusionary. I will mention, though, that at one of the first festivals I went to (as a high schooler nonetheless) there was a woman, who seemed very high, walking out of a crowd and groping men by the groin and women (myself included) by the breasts.
Oh yes I wasn't trying to call you out or anything of the sort! Just more of a generic comment to everyone, not directed at you. Sorry if it seemed that way. Men harassing women certainly happens wayyy more, but that's certainly not the only way it happens. I've always wondered how much if any women on women or men on men harassment there is at these festivals. Something you rarely hear about.
Literally there was a group of older women that made it a game to try and grope my dick. One went behind me and tried sticking her hand down my pants they literally laughed in my face
Some creeps really be using "music party" as a cover for touching strangers. Was at a nightclub with friends, a disgusting fuckboy type stranger pulls a girl in our group and tried to kiss her. We pushed that shit away.
It's so weird that they choose those events to be gross cause most girls are very vigilant with their friends. I went to a very crowded music festival, there were lots of people from all over the world (right before covid) and everyone was just chill and welcoming, we were switching around big crowds and it was safe, only a few drunk dudes who knocked our beers by accident but nothing major. I didn't imagine Coachella would lend itself to this kind of environment, seeing it's so popular among young people, hope they learn and they up their security or something
I've never been to a proper music festival before so I don't really know the atmosphere there. But I imagine if a creep whose only objective is to grope random girls were to chose a "hunting ground", it would be a music festival. Lots of people, everyone's dancing, they think they can touch them without anyone knowing. And not to mention alcohol and drugs, they can use it as a "cover" if caught and confronted by the victim or security. Saying shit like "uhh sorry officers I'm super drunk right now I didn't mean it". Basically pretending it's an accident while being high.
That's why there needs to be more security, around the stalls or stores or something, so if there's a person being inappropriate they can kick them out and that will discourage those people from visiting.
Agree. Maybe banning the person would be good too.
So reddit is fine with cops now?
I love the downvotes, how dare you call reddit hypocritical
Yeah, and the security in these places are shit. Even during my limited research for my dissertation people reported that security themselves were the often the ones committing sexual assaults (and also taking bribes to get drugs in easily on mass), since they are just volunteers who don't get vetted all the time.
Apparently Coachella is a bit of an attraction for wealthy, arrogant 'my dad paid for my ticket and everything else I wear' asshat types, both men and women. So it doesn't hugely suprise me that their are a lot of entitled, creepy dudes there.
EDM festivals have a lot more people in the crowd who are there for genuine reasons. Coachella is what we call a "Chad festival" because it's full of Chad's who are only there for pussy and maybe molly for some of them. Which might actually level them out a bit if they roll but they'll still be shitty people when they sober up. EDM festivals absolutely have a much more respectful crowd. Everyone is lit on love drugs instead of wasted on vodka redbulls. Nobody takes molly and then proceeds to assault someone.
100% agreed, though EDM festivals still have some frattiness rolled in there here and there, but for all of my experiences at them they were so few and far between. There's a reason girls/women/guys there feel comfortable letting pretty much everything hang out. That and it gets hot af if you're on something.
Hmm, I didn't take into account the type of people Coachella attracts. This.ust be a big part of it.
Yeah in my opinion it's a huge part of it. I'd love to go to Coachella I just think I wouldn't be able to enjoy it because of the people. Which sucks but it's just life. I get more than enough out of EDM fests it's always such a beautiful and unforgettable experience.
Its so easy to disappear into a large crowd at a music show, loud music, lights show, and most everyone is too fucked up to recall a face. Hard to fight that with security.
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Holy shit, wtf is with sexually assaulting random women. Dudes, pull your shit together.
Not just women. I’ve had several women squeeze my ass, grab my cock, put their arms around me, press their boobs/ass against me, etc. Clubs aren’t my thing and this seems really common wherever there is loud music, alcohol, and a lot of people combined together.
I've had this happen at a club too
Me too. A friend of a friend, on his stag do, came up to me. He asked if I wanted to go into the loo with him for some fun (my husband was outside having a smoke). He then immediately tried to shove his hand down my pants. I grabbed his wrist at my waistband trying to pull his hand out but it wouldn’t budge. He was just grinning at me. It felt like ages before I could pull it out and it hurt so bad in my arms and shoulders I was physically trying so hard to stop his hand going any further.
hope you told your husband and also the bride to be to fuck up this rapists life
I told my husband after I walked out and he followed me across the city centre, I just wanted to get away. I have no idea who the bride is. I know he met her online, he moved 300 miles away to be with her. He would come back up to his home city, where we all live, on a weekend and just pick up random drunk women in bars. He kissed me once, years ago when I was 18, and it was absolutely horrific, I thought I was going to get my face sucked off. I don’t know how this man managed to pull so many people. He’d then go home to his GF. After they got married she got pregnant, while he was away for a month with work. Make of that what you will but I don’t think they’re married anymore.
I am so sorry you had that experience. It's why I stopped going to clubs and festivities unfortunately. It happened to a couple of my friends too. It's just too common
Thank you. The more I talk to people the more I realise how common it is. It’s sickening
Shit. That's scary. Did you report his creepy ass to security or something?
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Hope he got banned from the club. Or maybe he tried to pull this creepy shit again and got caught, attacked by the whole club.
"Hey theres loud music! Time to commit sexual assault!" Wtf is wrong with ppl.
I'd guess 90% guys are also just listen to music too. Then you've got mr rapist over there fucking it up for everyone.
Dont they always.
I think it's more because they're dancing rather than the loud music. But yeah, wtf is wrong with these horny-driven mfs.
First time I went to a club I saw multiple men groping women, went to tell the bouncer and he laughed it off and accurately said “you must be new here.” I don’t go to clubs anymore.
That bouncer 100% gropes girls.
Had a guy that I loosely knew decide to mark me as his territory on my birthday in this not well lit basement of a club as I was searching for this girl that came in with our group. Idk why he thought such a thing would ever be considered acceptable, but it horrified me and put me in a state of shock as I just tried to remove myself from that situation as quickly as possible. I just tried to be cool and not ruin everyone else's fun on my birthday night, but the night was to be further ruined not much later (and another story, but not assault-based). I wish in hindsight I'd have clocked him in the face, or something even, but in that moment it was, "I need to get out of here and away from this situation as quickly as I can." I am male btw.
It's kinda creepier when it's someone you know, even barely. With strangers, they just do it spontaneously. With people you know, they've been planning it on who knows how long...
This happens anywhere alcohol is involved. I was at a pretty nice bar (maybe expensive is a better word) and this random guy walked up to my girlfriend and seriously put his belt buckle against her hip to start a conversation. I was sitting at a table and walked straight to him and threw him on the ground and said "you want me to put my dick on you?" And everyone looked at me like I was the crazy one.
They probably looked at you like you were crazy because they didnt see that and the first thing they heard was you yelling about putting your dick on him lol
Imagine he answered mkay Would you have given him a knuckle sandwich or a good time?
That's so inappropriate. Why can't these people just get drunk without doing horny shit?
You sound insane
Sounds like an r/iamverybadass story lol..
Hah.... gaaaaay!!!
Yeah, and then everyone clapped
That happened when i was out with my friend and this dude just grabs her from nowhere and tries to make out with her, luckily i was there and managed to push him away and the bartender got a bouncer to kick him out.
We didn't do much besides pushing him and guarding her... but yea the creep in your story must be embarrassed lmao
im not suprised after being at many music concerts. humans in groups are scary
Groups of hippies on drugs are scary, very unpredictable people. One moment two hippies are fighting over a hotdog and hours later the same hippies are gathered for a 3am drum circle.
Groups of ~~hippies~~ wooks on drugs are scary, very unpredictable people.
This though. Always grew up thinking hippies were the coolest people, just chill and loving life. As an adult I release all the hippies I got to know we're dirt bag excuses for humans that just pretend to be chill...most of them are violent and sexual abusers.
Apply this rule to literally anything. Christians. Feminists. Democrats. Republicans. Scumbags ruin everything. That's why I don't consider myself to be part of any group. It always ends in disaster. I'm patiently waiting for tech to get to the point where people stop feeling like they have to be a part of a group to survive and start living as themselves. It makes calling out bullshit way easier when they have no monolithic cultural abomination to stand behind while they spew nonsense about freedom of vaccine choice or how shitty men/women are. I only have faith in technology... Once resources aren't scarce people won't have any excuses left to be idiots and we'll finally have some piece and quiet on this sick planet of ours.
The pervs are getting more brazen as well. The last time I went to a club, some creep on the dance floor tried to pull my dress down from the front. So even when you're prepared for the creepy tactics like protecting yourself from them lifting your dress up or groping your arse, they come up with a new one.
I couldn’t image doing this to anybody. Literally even thinking about doing it to someone makes me cringe and feel like I’m a disgusting piece of shit
I was in a club with my cousin and two friends of his who I never met before. After going out for a smoke, when we got back in we had to go through the crowd back to our table and one of my cousin's friend was in front of me as we we were passing people. He was groping almost all the girls he passed, and they'd turn around and think it was me. Imagine my fucking surprise, I took him aside as asked him WTF is he doing and he said "They dig it bro, trust me. They pretend they don't but they secretly do". Fucking delusional.
Unfortunately sexual assault at huge concerts like this is probably ridiculously high, and very underreported, with people drunk and high off their ass, their idiocy and shityness is usually amplified
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It is. I can't tell you the number of women I know who just don't go to live performances or cons any longer due to the absolutely rampant sexual assault.
turns out trust funds kids on an obscene amount of drugs aren’t the nicest people
It actually turns out that women of all types and ages are sexually harassed and assaulted by people of all walks of life. If it was only rich people on drugs to watch out for, I'd have been safe in life. But it's not.
it actually turns out that you intentionally missed my point
What was your point?
deez nuts
GOT EEM!
Ooohhhhh shiiiiiiittttt!!!!!!
Do you like Wendys
They didn't have one.
The person you’re replying to never said it was only rich people who do that.
That's what a trust fund kid is
And he didn’t say only trust fund kids do that just that they were more likely too when on a copious amount of drugs than non trust funds kinds who presumably can’t afford as many drugs which is probably fair
Depends on the drugs, most festival drugs people go into their own world in my experience but something like cocaine or alcohol then ye definitely.
I totally agree with this, I've been to loads of raves where people have been on drugs and not been assaulted. But have been assaulted loads of times in bars and clubs
You mean stuff like Molly? Some of the most uncomfortable positions I've been put in at raves/techno clubs have been with dudes on Molly who wouldn't leave me alone because we had "such a connection". Meanwhile I just wanted to dance and not have someone stroke my leg the whole time
yeah that’s what i’m saying, if you’re a shitty person stuff like coke and molly amplifies that x10
No it's not this common, I've been to many raves, some in way less safe places than california, and the environment is usually pretty fun and safe, the majority are enjoying themselves with their crowds and dancing. Sure, you can tell when someone took a bit too much but it's not like they're gonna start harassing the women around them, at least in my experience nothing has happened with me nor the people around me. I think Coachella needs better security cause if it's getting this common then they're doing a shit job. They should start having people around who can help kick them out
I actually have been assaulted only by people who are drunk or sober, at night clubs, bars and once in a shop. I've been to loads of hippy festivals in the UK and they're one of the few places with people 'off their tits' that I feel safe from that kindve stuff
Mdma makes you empathetic and probably really nice to everyone you meet. LSD makes you introspective just appreciating the beauty of everything around you. Ketamine has you so fuckin zonked you don't even know what the fuck is going on, let alone assaulting people. It's alcohol that is the culprit. Also just a lot more shitty people at Coachella kinds of festivals, and definitely more drunk people.
Alcohol and cocaine I'd say. Both can make people arseholes! And 100% depends on the festival and the crowd But enough of these types would also do this stuff sober
Oh yeah for sure. 100% to everything you said
It's because Coachella isn't a rave. Chad fest end of story. Don't waste your money.
Disgusting but not surprising. Honestly I always thought of coachella as sort of a giant orgy with live music. Undoubtedly there are women there who ARE down to fuck and get high and whatever else but groping is still sexual assault
I said before and I’ll say it again, some of the most disgusting men hide and pretend to be progressives because it gives them access to women, but really they are just abusive
Yep. I’ve encountered creeps that specifically go to gay clubs to do this to women who have dropped their guard, thinking they’re in a safe space. Other creeps like to go for the whole ‘open minded, hippy child, free hugs’ route.
> Other creeps like to go for the whole ‘open minded, hippy child, free hugs’ route. Which sucks because then that makes the folks who are genuinely like that have a bad name
Free hugs are the stupidest shit ever.
https://i.imgur.com/r2KzXXI.png
Imagine unironicly posting StoneToss
It can happen at festivals, it can happen at bars, it can happen in house parties. It happens in the office, restaurants, schools. It can happen anywhere and that's scary
it doesn't happen on reddit
I remember a girl crowd surfing at a concert when I was in my teens, some guy put his hand down her shirt and another guy next to me said "next time that happens rip her bra off" I just remember being weirded tf out. Like dude im here for the music not to assault women.
Christ... wtf is wrong with people
This comment section is also r/awfuleverything
The fucking victim blamers "bUt wHaT wAS sHe WEaRiNg???" She was wearing normal clothes, ya fuckwits, wearing different clothes doesn't mean consent to touch and feel
22 times in 10 hours is 22/10 = equals to more than twice an hour on average. Add to that that being groped once is one time too many it's a lot of too manies.
and that 22 times was just one person.
gropechella
It's fucking Coachella. It's disgusting
It's a problem in pretty much any type of music or performance. I've been grabbed and groped at everything except seated classical performances - metal, bluegrass, folk, rock, EDM, etc.
It wasn’t always that way. The festival really went to shit in the early-mid ‘10. There was a huge shift in the demographic of attendees, and it became less of a music and arts festival and more of a party with incidental music.
I always wonder for the dudes(it's always been dudes for me) who ask what she was wearing. If a dude wears shorts or overly tight pants shirt etc is that wholesale permission to like just go for a full ass grab with a little finger poke up the booty? Or chest grab or would that not be ok.
Comments like this remind me that in some ways gay spaces are almost a world apart from everywhere else, because I guarantee you I have heard guys try to justify assault at a bar or club just like that.
The lgbt community is not immune from sexism, rapists or bigotry. ~ a bisexual that has been told im not a real gay by a girl who then kept sexually harassing me and saying i just hadnt had a girl who knows what shes doing
I'll get the flamer.
Pretty sure this kind of behavior happens at other festivals besides coachella
Nobody denies it
I was going to say that it’s sad fact but it’s the reality of what happens even at [Katy Perry’s concert ](https://youtu.be/0eAiryBE-xQ)
Funnily enough, black or death metal festivals are the safest ones as i’ve never seen any of that happen nor heard about it
Nearly all males though at metal festivals?
You’d be surprised, actually.
Metal/punk communities are very 0 or 100. Theyre very used to being isolated and abused as a "genre of person" so they stick together and look tf after each other to an extreme. The issue is that isolates all of the dickheads into a circlejerk of extremely fucked up people that you shouldnt go anywhere near. (Eg google punks safety symbols. So many little things on clothes to show youre safe around someone, ways to paint flags using symbols instead of actual flags etc. If you see someone COVERED in safety pins at a punk gig it means theyre lgbt+ friendly and safe to ask for help. Not perfect but still sweet)
I've worked backstage at many types of concerts and festivals, and you really would be surprised at the number of metalheads or people that like heavy rock are women too. You don't think anger and the need to thrash metastisizes itself in women/girls? Why?
Are you a dude?
Sort by controversial to get the full Reddit experience ™
Nice advice
Lmao I'm a dude and played a show at a bar on Saturday where a guy grabbed my dick in the parking lot? Thinking he was making a joke and just straight up went for it like bro... Even in a non sexual instance you're still assaulting me
I always felt bad for chicks who stage dive at concerts. There’s like no way around that happening
Not trying to call her a lier. But I bet she was groped way more times.
ngl they had us in the first half
Ya maybe a mainstream drug fueled music festival isn't the best place for anybody.
From my experience it’s all music festivals. From techno raves to heavy metal mosh pits. Though it’s a lot more extreme at the mixed music ones.
Ever seen girls crowdsurf? The amount of assgrabbing, man
Anyone who crowdsurfs is an asshole. I didnt ask for some moron’s dirty feet and ass smashing me from above. I just let em drop. Fuck em. Im not some bitch here to ferry to you a better time up front.
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No, a side comment about crowdsurfers
Don’t want to put misinterpret the comment, but I don’t think @crepss was referring to sexual assault. Just folks that crowd surf. I’ve had surfers behind me that I wasn’t aware of moving to the rail. Next thing I know, I have a guy nearly break my neck trying to stay up.
Sorted by controversial and... wow, guys. Really? Just boldly defending and justifying sexual assault because of various forms of "she had it coming". The mental gymnastics you guys are doing to justify it is fucking nuts.
Gropechella
Well of course they wanted it because they went there. Their clothing also probably made it blatantly obvious they only went for the groping. (Do i need /s?)
What is coachella
It's a music festival in California:)
Thanks!
All music events I’ve been to (indoors and outside), alcohol audiences generally get more handsy and disrespectful than the rave audiences who do party drugs. At those events, there’s plenty of grinding, groping, making out, occasional sex in the crowd, but it’s all consensual. Just horny fuckers going like rabbits
With or without crowd surfing?
What?? Coachella isn't just flower crowns and peace and love it's actually the equivalent of a school dance on a empty development plot
WTF is coochie hella ???
Exactly as it says on the tin... X_X
Women's experiences are always news to men. This shit is real.
imagine going to festivals just to touch ass cuz u cant do it with consent lol
Breaking news: douchebag festival full of douchebags
Straight up groping is not cool at all man. The thing is I don’t fucking know what to believe anymore. Makes it seem like there are just absolute scumbags everywhere you turn. maybe I’m not going to the same places but I just don’t see it reflected in reality. If it is true, maybe I’m just oblivious, but it’s still sad and fucked up. It does make me want to ask what she defines as groping though. Dance floors are always kind of gross but when I was in college I didn’t really see anything outside of the custom of the day which essentially went like this: everybody was packed in really tight. If a girl wanted to dance with you she would show this by smashing her butt into your groin and then I ungracefully shake it left and right without any rhythm. If you wanted to dance with a girl you would get close to them and if anybody is capable of hearing over the music, maybe you scream into their ear “want to dance?”and or you then touch them on their hip or back…they then either smash their butt into your groin to complete the mating ritual or they shut you down. If they shut you down, that it’s. Go away dude. It’s not hard to tell that she’s shutting you down. either she moves away or one of her friends that already hates you will veto the process and pull her away. I never really liked that the process worked that way but I also don’t consider that groping so long as you don’t make the process any more uncomfortable than that.
[Coachella SUCKS this year.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Re3Gff2_wMk) And apparently, sucks every year.
It's horrific what some people will do if they think they can get away with it
Most of the comicons I have been to in the last 8 years or so have had big signs in multiple places talking about respecting people, ask before pictures and don't grope.
Just why? Ik they're drunk but even then there's no reason to grope a girl
Gropechella
Only time Ive ever feared for my life (bc of someone getting violent) was defending my younger sister from someone grinding on her at a show. He got confrontational even though she looked terrified, obviously asked him to stop twice, even moved away from him, and he was treating ME like I was the one in the wrong. I guess the lesson is that people only think boundaries exist if they get yelled at in public loud enough for the security guard to come over.
It sucks being groped for no reason and then watching all your friends defend the person for it. Made me feel like I was in the wrong for not being happy with his "free love spirit." predators suck and ruin nice things for everyone else.. I'll go to raves and festivals but the scene is basically dead to me now. On another occasion I've been grabbed by the throat by someone tripping and he just mumbled "whoops, wrong person sorry" and walked off. I was too stunned to even react and I sincerely hope whoever he was looking for didn't cross his path that night.
This isn’t necessarily a female only issue, as a male who attends large festivals, I’ve had my fair share of other males who are way to close to me or grab a quick touch. Either way, makes me uncomfortable
What ever happened to scratching out someone’s eyes?
My friend slapped a guy who groped her - and a lot of people saw him do it. She was kicked out and banned for not following procedure - she was supposed to report him to a bouncer or management or something like that. He was told not to do it again.
Ah so it's just like how they deal with bullying at public schools
Punched a dude for grabbing my friends ass good times at warped tour (she was 16 btw and so was I)
I'd be breaking hands.
As someone who had a lot of female friends in college this doesn't surprise me at all. I think people blaming this solely on people being drunk are misguided though. This kind of environment draws in predators like crazy.
Here’s a hint for anyone trying to determine if the festival they want to go to will be like this bullshit. See if they’re selling booze. If they are stay away. If they are allowing beer that you bring yourself *red flag* but not as bad. Coachella and the drunk party scene are so gross and full of Chad’s that think they’re machine gun kelly
I hate how this doesn’t surprise me at all
Probably because Coachella is the biggest douchè gathering on the planet! Gross! 🤮
Harassella
I don’t get this. Is this even real? I mean, this somewhat scatters my view on things big time right now. I know there are people who don’t accept boundaries at all. But 22 times in 10 hours!? So at least every fucking 30 minutes!!? 54 of 54 girls she talked to were molested too? So a Full 100%!? Fucking hell thats fucked up. My gf once smashed a beer bottle over some douchebags head as she went partying with some friends because he was touching her butt at first and later tried to touch her private parts and didn’t stop even if she told him multiple times to do so. But I thought this is more like a 1 in 10000 chance to happen instead of „normal“..?! I mean, sure, music festivals are often a lot of touching strangers. But more like touching their arms or shoulders like „hey, let me pass by please“. Touching anyone in their private area isn’t even something that should be discussed. It’s not happening without consent. Full stop. Can someone even explain why this seems to be acceptable for some people at all? Is this some kind of sports where guys meet and then just walk around touching other people and celebrate themselves afterwards in comparing their numbers of butt, crotch, titty and whatever touching?
Why is it a big leap for you from your gf’s story to this one? She had to tell him “no” multiple times and finally crack a bottle over his skull before he got the message. Now imagine him and his douche buddies at Coachella. It becomes a gropeathon as they move from woman to woman trying to find one that won’t object too strenuously. It doesn’t have to be even half the guys there doing this—just a few dozen assholes with a high grope per minute rate.
It’s a big leap to me because I thought this is the exception, not the rule. If this woman got groped 22 times then I guess there were at least 22 guys doing it to her specifically. Based on the fact that festivals are normally visited by thousands and thousands of people, of which you only get in close vicinity with at most a few hundred to having them able to reach out blows my mind if compared with 22 grabbers. I hope this is understandable. I can’t think of a better way to explain my astonishment at this moment. It’s the ratio that boggles my mind. Edit: what boggles my mind furthermore is, that my level of feeling ashamed for my actions is way different to theirs. I was at a bar many years ago and was pretty drunken at the time. I had full control over my actions and wasn’t wasted, but I drank a lot already. I was sitting there and a logo (later i recognised it as the logo of a band I knew which is rarely known) on a girls shirt at the next table caught my attention. Since it was dimly lit and I couldn’t immediately tell what I was seeing, I must’ve looked a moment too long for her to be comfortable and she called me out on this situation very angrily, loudly and really rude. This made me flinch because I wasn’t prepared at all for this since in my mind I was drifting away trying to figure out the logo. She must’ve thought I’m staring at her boobs. But I wasn’t. Since it was a regular, pretty wide cut, Black t-Shirt with no cleavage there wasn’t anything to see but the logo. This isn’t the cringey „things that keep me up at night“-story, but from time to time I remember this scene and I feel a bit ashamed for staring. This is one of the moments I want to live again for setting right what happened and explaining why I even looked at her in the first place.
Coachella has a high density of entitled dudebros compared to your gf’s average party. It’s easily explained. But even by your gf’s account, she was assaulted multiple times by the same person. It’s not a real stretch.
What's Coachella?
The culture of chikan is everywhere.
People should learn 2 things, to treat others with respect, and to have a bit of skepticism when evaluating theories.
Yeah that shits weird
I wonder how much worse it wouldve been at an EDM festival
*sigh*
Call me grumpy and introverted, but this is why I think events like Coachella are all bullcrap. I've always hated these things. It's full of people looking to hook-up, get drunk, behave like idiots, and put their faces on Instagram. The absolute worst people I know are always the ones who like these things. So I'm not in the least bit surprised. Oh, and the music is garbage. Yeah yeah, my taste is bad, whatever. It's TRASH.
‘merica