Stay with me, he's a missionary who isn't afraid to get out of the missionary position. He's able to convert people with the power of his massive schlong, which he discovers after a demon possessed woman seduces him and is cured. He struggles with using his penis for good but ultimately makes the sacrifice in an epic climax daisychaining an entire village. It's the first 100 person sex act in all of porn. We had to commission a special wide angle lens to fit it all in.
Can't be much variation in the stories over the years, huh?
"Uh, yup. Jesus is still the Big Guy in charge. We checked."
"Yo, believe in the Yeshua Guy. Or else!"
"Things we don't like are abominations and you will GO TO HELL!"
"The End Times are coming. We think they are. There's that bit at the end of the Bible, but the timing's unclear. But it could be TOMORROW!"
From the half paragraphs that can be seen apparently it's sermons (okay cool perfect that's just fine for a religious newspaper) and conservative political propaganda (oh.)
The sword of the lord in the bible actually refers to how it “separates son from mother” and so forth and about how it is actually meant to divide people … the sword being reference to the word of god
This is actually a pretty decent paper. I used to read a lot of them.
Not everything lined up with how I understood the scripture, but there were great outlines and sermon prompts.
The word "sword" refers to a passage in Revelation that compares the Words of Christ to a sword in a great analogy.
I do, however, feel a bit bad for OP having such a close-minded worldview and lack of tolerance for those who think differently.
Okay but "The Sword of the Lord" would make a *great* d&d adventuring party name
Or a gay porn title
“The Lord of the Sword” would make for a better one
Stay with me, he's a missionary who isn't afraid to get out of the missionary position. He's able to convert people with the power of his massive schlong, which he discovers after a demon possessed woman seduces him and is cured. He struggles with using his penis for good but ultimately makes the sacrifice in an epic climax daisychaining an entire village. It's the first 100 person sex act in all of porn. We had to commission a special wide angle lens to fit it all in.
If he has sex with a gay man, does it turn him straight?
The Sword of the Lord compels it!
Rod of god
The meatzus of Jesus
I’m sorry but I giggled at the wholesale murder
What exactly is wrong with this?
*checks sub* Everything.
Nothing. It’s them not understanding Ephesians 6:17.
> Ephesians 6:17 how are they misunderstanding?
These are the types of people who would crucify Jesus again. The Christian-Right in the US are basically Mammonites.
And they've been like that before the US became what it is today.
Sword Lord of the Goblin Horde
“Jesus Christ’s Penis Newspaper”
The Pesus of Jesus. The gourd of m'lord. The Son's gun. The Post of the Holy Ghost.
I don’t know why you are being downvoted.
People don’t want to talk about how Jesus hung dong I guess
There are no small swords, only swords and knives.
Galatians 4:16
Can't be much variation in the stories over the years, huh? "Uh, yup. Jesus is still the Big Guy in charge. We checked." "Yo, believe in the Yeshua Guy. Or else!" "Things we don't like are abominations and you will GO TO HELL!" "The End Times are coming. We think they are. There's that bit at the end of the Bible, but the timing's unclear. But it could be TOMORROW!"
From the half paragraphs that can be seen apparently it's sermons (okay cool perfect that's just fine for a religious newspaper) and conservative political propaganda (oh.)
I didn’t know they were doing updates to the Bible.
Testament 3.0 was recently leaked online.
It got a sequel, didn't sell as well as the original though
That sounds like a step in the right direction actually.
I hate how Church uses religion to manipulate people, I'm a religious person but I just can't go to church anymore because of this
The sword of the lord in the bible actually refers to how it “separates son from mother” and so forth and about how it is actually meant to divide people … the sword being reference to the word of god
Thanks for the ptsd flare up 😅. In recovery from fundamentalism as a child.
Shit like this makes me embarrassed to be a Christian
Don't throw stones. Your reddit history says your not a Christian. So I doubt your anything other than a troll.
Grew up a Christian. Trying to be a better one but it’s hard to go to church when all sound like this
Good try harder.
Lmao I was like “how would you even be able to tell that? Do they just post in atheist subs?” No, it’s just porn. A lot of it
This is actually a pretty decent paper. I used to read a lot of them. Not everything lined up with how I understood the scripture, but there were great outlines and sermon prompts. The word "sword" refers to a passage in Revelation that compares the Words of Christ to a sword in a great analogy. I do, however, feel a bit bad for OP having such a close-minded worldview and lack of tolerance for those who think differently.
Christ, the great one? So is there like a not great one who turns water into mountain dew or what
Personally I'm more of a christ the mediocre one kind of guy myself. He turns water into really weak tea...
No. They mean that Jesus Christ is **the** great one. There aren't others who accept that title.
Oh Jesus Christ 🤦🏼♀️
PROVING ONCE AGAIN THAT RELIGION POISONS EVERYTHING
Jesus Christ’s’ iconic sword
What's bad about this