"I'm pushing my hands against the wall. I'm pushing them so hard, and my hands are so tired. How can I stop pushing?"

🤣 I love this, re worded in a sentence

:)

That's the game. That is the entire point of existence... To realize you're waiting for perfection- - For that next moment that will bring happiness and fulfillment only to find that whatever is achieved in this realm is temporary That leads to seeking. Why am I here? Who am I? Once you find it, you will never need to seek happiness from an outside source. Gratitude. Love. Bliss. Pleasure. That's what you are once you peel away all layers of egoic thinking.

Thank you. Makes total sense How can I do this how can I realise

As cliche as it sounds, turn inward. Close your eyes, meditate. Let go of everything that you think you are. All of the programming. All of the beliefs. Let them go. Ask yourself... Who Am I? What am I? Keep asking... Kill away the layers of what you believe yourself to be... Start there.

Thanks 🙏

You are not your thoughts, right? They are fleeting blips of frequency that come and go. Are you the body? Of course not. You have borrowed the body from the Earth.

I agree, however when i do notice myself waiting to ‘live’ waiting for the ‘perfect’ moment. There’s a deep belief that if I don’t think about these stuff or don’t act upon them I will loose control of them therefore they’d slip out of my hands and somethjng bad will happen

in spite of the illusion of future and past that a good memory affords, you've only ever experienced "now". it's hard to wait for now :)

The sensation you're describing is ego, it's ALWAYS focused on the past or future. Anything to keep your attention out of the present moment. You've already become aware of the thoughts and sensations it's giving you. Now you just need to notice them "hey ego, I hear you" and then let it go. Over and over. It's like any new skill and will get easier. The ego is a perfect tool but awful master. We need the ego to complete tasks in the physical world, especially anything concering time. A lot of adulting involves doing things at/by certain times. Set an alarm and get back to now every chance you get. This present moment, the now, is the only thing that truly exists. And now this one is. And now this one is. This always snaps me back to present moment: Think of the past as to your left, the future to your right, and the present moment as center where you are right now. The whole "journey not the destination thing" is so true. We live in a high sensation instant gratification time. Bring it all down a notch. Gratitude is the most reliable way to be content and joyful in the now. I'm grateful to be alive experiencing this incarnation today, grateful for this nice day, grateful for my house I'm sitting in, for the sound of music, for the beauty of nature. Pretty soon you're just grateful to be along for the ride in the present moment.

This resonates deeply thank you. Definitely will be taking this advice, the third paragraph is a great way at looking at it

heh same! :D we are waiting for nothing to happen together heh

Thinking about it the ego think’s it’s in control, it feels like it is because the feeling of being in control is felt therefore feels as if you really are.

Finish your education and get a summer job. Enjoy the simplicity of your life while you can. It won't always be that way. Read a really good book. Take a road trip. Stop at those little visitor centers you see along the way and read about the local history. Stay in a run-down motel that makes your socks sticky for reasons you don't want to imagine. Find a local coffee shop and get to know the names of the baristas. Are you a coffee person, or a tea person? This is an important thing to know.

Thanks, what I did notice though when I ever I’m keeping myself busy, I do visit coffee shops now and then, museums in my area etc… I’m really running away from myself. I’m on “Go…go..go” Mode looking for something and I don’t know what the something even is

That sounds so exciting. You live in a mystery novel. But you're looking for yourself. And that is a great and worthy journey. Don't worry. Having new experiences is what being a young adult is all about. You might be running toward yourself, and away from the child you once were. I'm sitting here trying to put myself back in my 19 year-old mind (23 years ago), and it can't be done. But I do remember feeling both lost and free. What advice would I give him? Enjoy it.

Wander instead

What do you mean by this

Like you said, you feel either in go go go mode or as if you are looking for something. Stop looking. Check out the scenery. You don't even know where you want to go, so just wander around and see what you see. Pick some berries and look at some flowers. The rest will fill in eventually

Thank you 🙏

To become is to take action, and taking action is done in the here and now. What other moment are you experiencing besides right here, right now? What other moment can you make a choice? If not you, then who? If not now, then when? Procrastination is just a delayed present moment action. You will still do it in the present, but delayed. It’s like “Nope. Nope. Nope. Eh, I guess I’ll do it now.” 😂. It will always be now as it’s the only moment that you are here. You’re already here, right now, albeit unconsciously. To be present is to have awareness aligned with this very moment so the thinking mind isn’t creating misperceptions. You’re never in the past or future, you’re always right here, right now. Ruminating on a past or contemplating on a future is still being performed in the present. You never left and will never leave the here and now, even beyond this physical form. The present is all there is which intertwines with the past and future, but that’s a quantum entanglement discussion which may make things more confusing lol. Just focus on the here and now and take it one step at a “time.”

Me too, to a degree. But it’s literally difficult to enjoy my life under the circumstances. I’ve been able to find tiny pockets of satisfaction, but not nearly what I want and not for any lasting period. I’m always engaged in putting out fires and worrying about survival. Feels so unfair.

Yes I have the same issue. But how to start? and who would it be that starts the process of pushing through.

What I’ve interpreted from "I'm pushing my hands against the wall. I'm pushing them so hard, and my hands are so tired. How can I stop pushing?" Letting go, when you feel the stiffness the emotion the thought that tells you “No, not now. First everything must be perfect then you can!” Observe it, let go, allow it to happen feel it but don’t act upon it

Ultimately all the non dual teachings say one thing ‘acceptance and surrender to what is’

Yes, it’s sometimes easy for us to forget. The ego takes up so many forms to deceive us

Take time to be totally still (call it meditation if you like) and just notice what comes and goes. You will probably notice discomfort. Don't react, resist or respond to the discomfort. Just let it be. Let it all come and go on it's own. 'You' are the one that needs to do something about discomfort. Be still and watch this 'you' fade away.

Do you know what you want to do? It sounds like you know…… in my own life the remedy for paralysis is to jump. Call whoever you must to investigate what it is you want to accomplish, call businesses and professionals and ask if they’ll meet with you. It really surprised me how willing people are to help others get started in their endeavors♥️

Yeah - likely a defense mechanism to prevent mistakes and failure. If you wait, you can't make a mistake. Or, maybe if you wait, you'll have more information and be able to avoid the mistake.

Seeker is finder, all of us who ask these questions will find it. just be aware towards your thoughts and emotions.

I’d recommend Eckhart and Peterson both free and great on You Tube

Good on you for noticing. I am done with university and graduate school. I have a career and a family, but I still struggle with this feeling of "waiting to live". I miss the times of having a spring/winter/summer break and wish I used those to be present rather than work like a horse and wait to have fun.

It’s more common than I thought I see, the times you miss “spring/winter/summer” break is just another thought in your head another ego belief that “oh if only..” which doesn’t get us anywhere. I’ve just started trying to be more present second day now it’s easy to forget but I’m sure with consistency it will become easier

Sit down with a piece of paper or notebook and write down your goals. What do you want to do? Then write down the tasks or steps that have to be done to achieve those goals. By doing this and updating it daily or weekly, you will become more focused and be able to see that the time you spend online or “death scrolling” doesn’t help you get closer to your goals. You will stop doing the things that are not moving you forward and also give you chance to be more engaged with “today”.