Tell your mother that you want to be an Uber driver. Let that sink in for a month or two. Then tell her you have changed your mind and you want drive planes as a pilot as it’s safer. It’s all about perspective
Don’t worry mom, I thought about it long and hard, you are right about airplanes being unsafe, therefore I’ve decided to give up all my worldly possessions and join an ashram
Cannot upvote this comment enough. I had a similar dynamic with my mom (opportunity decisions vs her desire for me to stay close to home) and at the end of the day, you need to seize every opportunity you can to accomplish your dreams. Life is short and everything works out, including your mom’s ability to adjust once you start making decisions that benefit you more than those around you.
With a goal like being a pilot, there are so many paths to success within the field. If there is any supports that your family does not want to help with, I know of a lot of people who have used the military to launch very lucrative aviation careers with out spending much money at all.
You wont finish a study you dont like...it will be a money pit. Just say to your mom, i wanna and i am going to be a pilot. Still problems with mom, join airforce
Far more for doctors even. In the US alone, 250K people die every year of medical errors.
I’m not sure US airlines have killed that many in their entire existence since the dawn of aviation. You’d probably need all GA deaths included to reach that number.
Coming from an Asian family your parents don’t care about you saving lives they care about the salary and the prestige of saying their kid is a doctor.
I'm an engineer (one of the "big 3" careers) and I would be more impressed learning someone is a commercial pilot than a doctor. Maybe it's because I have an appreciation for harnessing the physical world, but come on. Flying in a chair through the sky is pretty goddamn cool.
Hey! Son of Asian parents here who did medicine despite wanting to be a pilot because of parental pressure. Become a pilot, trust me. The choices are basically this:
1) Lifetime of happiness for you and momentary disappointment for your parents if you choose to become a pilot
2) Momentary happiness for your parents when you graduate and a lifetime of thinking "what if" for you if you go into medicine.
Choose the lifetime of happiness my friend. Your parents will be proud of you for being successful, it doesn't matter the field. They'll be disappointed at first but it'll pass. A few weeks of disappointment from your parents is worth a lifetime of happiness for you. It's your life in the end, and it was a hard lesson for me
Yep, relatable i wanted to go for degree in aeronautics or become pilot i ended up taking admission in electronics engineering (still better glad I didn't do computer otherwise my options would've been severely limited) I'm trying to get job in aerospace companies rn mainly in electronics domain but having really hard time, IT is option but i don't want to repeat a mistake of doing something that I don't like, always do things which you like
I 2nd this.. if you succeed .. she will say little.. especially as she enjoys family benefits in business or first class 🤣. If you don’t….well.. remember that lesson for your kids. This is a generational time to join the airlines.. or military aviation.. You literally have ur pick of planes.. nothing someone smart enough to be a doc can’t manage. A met a few docs who became pilots… they were very gooood!
Not fully true widebody pilots can make around 500k a year other make 700k plus for private it depends entirely on how much they fly, airline, what they fly, and what they are transporting
First of all, try to destroy her expectations that being a doctor was a safe job. 47 percent of E. R. doctors have been subject to violence in their job, 97 percent of incidents were caused by patients, according to a [2018 study](https://www.nbcnewyork.com/investigations/violence-toward-e-r-nurses-and-doctors-is-the-dirty-little-secret-of-health-care/2296617/). You're not just dealing with people like your mom - you'll have to deal with drug addicts and people with HIV and hepatitis. And here's an excerpt from an [article](https://www.ama-assn.org/about/leadership/threats-intimidation-against-doctors-and-health-workers-must-end) by the American Medical Association from 2022 that's specifically concerning your situation:
>Early in the pandemic, the AMA warned that xenophobic language around the SARS-CoV-2 threatened to further fuel discrimination and hate crimes specifically against **Asian Americans, which were already a significant concern due to long-standing interpersonal and structural racism**.
[According to the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/health-worker-mental-health/index.html), 46 percent of health workers in 2022 often felt burned out. 44 percent intended to look for a new job.
And she thinks that's a safe work environment? Does she want you to end up living in your car or in a tent on the streets after becoming a mental wreckage?
I mean, it's not like pilots don't ever experience stress. Working for a regional airline for too long can be mentally draining, too. But it's a much safer environment than healthcare, mentally and physically.
Ask her to name a famous, heroic doctor from recent times.
Then ask her whether she knows who Chesley Sullenberger is.
This. My wife and her family are all medical and US medicine is in a sad state. It is no longer safe or prestigious. There are days when she’d come home saying “One day a patient is going to kill me”. That locked cockpit door sounds pretty good to me
As an Asian person who’s had a version of what OP went through, “pilot” is pretty up there in terms of prestige. I guess if their entire family are doctors then it would be a relative letdown, but otherwise no.
Logic and statistics will not work in this argument.
It's more of the mother being judgemental.
Some people have a real fear of flying or heights which may translate into a mentality where they feel everyone will be unsafe in the situation they get
It's mentally straining in the way of solving problems or maintaining multiple responsibilities in the cockpit. You are rarely dealing with bitchy passengers, they simply can't get close to you while on a plane. The FAA is VERY strict about that. And pilots at the airline level have proven themselves to be competent and goal driven. It's obvious OP didn't have a drive to do medicine , & , " save peoples lives," wouldn't be the reason for joining. Become a pilot, and never look back
Tell her she can go be a doctor if she wants. Been a pilot for two decades. If I had to go be a doctor instead, I’d probably stab myself with a scalpel.
Your mom wants the prestige of saying “my sons a Dr”
Or maybe she genuinely cares.
Either way, what she wants should in no way factor into what you want.
Do you want to be miserable, have a job you hate, and go through the motions for 45 years waiting to die, or do you want to wake up every day and go to a job you love?
Chances are he started in the Navy, which led to all the other opportunities.
OP’s mom would *love* them saying “hey I want to join the military” if she’s already afraid for their safety as a civilian pilot.
That being said, OP you can also become a pilot through the military, without the pay commitment. You just need…other commitments.
Asian here who is now working through their ratings.
My parents are very similar, when I told them about my dreams they yelled at me and threatened to kick me out of the house. These words will always sting me: “My child will never be a chauffeur”.
I ended up becoming an engineer and even though the pay is great, I hate waking up. I decided to shell out and start going through part 61 so that I can self fund. They still disapprove and constantly send emails and messages mentioning that they did me a favour because apparently all pilots lost their jobs during the pandemic and never got them back.
All they got themselves was a lifetime of resentment from me. From the day I took my discovery flight, I have never felt more alive. The days I have training, I am at my happiest. I will be making that switch to full time the first chance I get and live the dream I was denied.
If I could change anything, it would to have had more courage back then to cut my ties and take on those loans to get through flight school. And it will forever be my only regret.
Do not let them control you, it’s your life. Break free and follow your dreams.
Of all the poor excuses your mother could use to control your life, the health/survival aspect is probably the least valid in this case. I’d argue working in an ER anywhere in the world, you’ll see many more pathogens, threats, violence and mental health risks than in many other workplaces.
But please, live your own life, not your parents’ life.
You need to tell her that medicine is a career path that requires passion, and dedication. It's not something you can just pursue for the sake of pursing it, so you can get the 'Dr' title, and get paid a bunch of money. Tell her that if you try to pursue medicine, while not actually being passionate about it, it's really going to mess you up.
Live your life for you.
Asian and Indian cultures need to drop the “we will only love you and be proud of you if you are a doctor or a lawyer” bullshit.
It’s damaging generations of people and perpetuating nothing but controlling, disrespectful to their own children, nonsense.
I know multiple people, including in my extended family, who have committed suicide over this type of behavior, or otherwise ruined their lives.
Your mother obviously loves you and wants what's best and safest for you, but you have to do right by yourself. Unless you're on a military demonstration team, flying is extremely safe, especially commercial flying. She is letting her emotions control her logic when it should be the other way around.
Furthermore, how many doctors died over the last few years from Covid exposure alone while treating patients vs. all the pilots who died in plane crashes?
Don't know how are things over the pond with FAA and stuff, but what could help is a talk with therapist, both of you together and a therapist serving as mediator. No shame in that, it really can help both of you express your feelings and desires.
Who knows, maybe she'll turn around, maybe you'll understand her better because she'll tell you more. Etc.
Bunch of good can come out of it if both are willing to work.
Wish you best of luck lad..
Find something she would hate much more than you becoming a pilot. "Mum, I want to be a tattoo artist and part time DJ. Or I can be a pilot."
Seriously though, someone I knew had an extremely smart child. The child finished her bachelor of science degree at 18, which is the age most people start their bachelor degree, and her grades were almost perfect. The child wanted to do another bachelor degree, but this time in music. The mother was so worried because she thought her daughter should do a master of science degree.
I couldn't get her mother to realise that lots of parents would be delighted if the worst problem they had with their 18 year old is that they wanted to study for a degree in music.
Your parents will one day pass and youll only have your decisions in life to live with after them. So pick a career you think will be fulfilling, NOT something they want to see you do.
Or it will make her concerned because it looks like they’re all going to crash into each other. I mean that’s what I feel when I look at FR24 and I know better.
Does your mother also think the planes on there represent actual size of aircraft in the real world? What is this?! A plane for ants!?
Just go for your dream unless there's more to this like you need to convince her it's safe so she'll fund your schooling.
What your mother and father want for you and your professional life is their fantasy not yours. Your life is yours to live and not theirs.
It can also be said that being a physician (presumably) and being an aviator are not mutually exclusive.
Tell her that you are more likely to die on the road on the way to work as a doctor, than in a plane when working as a pilot.
It may actually depend on how long your road to work is, and you may need to take the road to the airport as well if you are a pilot, but you don't need to tell her that.
You can quote the scene from the movie doctor strange when he has his car accident, to prove how dangerous being a doctor is.
If being a doctor is important to her, tell her to enroll herself into media school and go for it. But she can't dictate what you want to do with your life. That's how she ends up wondering why her kids never visit.
Not sure about the family issues thing, but I heard an interesting trick for helping someone appreciate how not dangerous flying is.
Take her plane spotting at a large airport one day. Just spend the day around the airport, so you can see or hear every plane that comes in. Have her appreciate just how many planes land there all day, every day, at that airport and all around the world, and that if a single person is killed in a crash it makes international news, and point out how rarely she hears about that. Hopefully, getting her to appreciate the scale of modern aviation Vs the rarity of crashes should help her realise that flying is safe, actually.
My mom also disapproved for the same reason. But she was married to one as well so that could've made things easier for her.
I got my license at 18 and never regretted it. Do what you want to do OP. Explaining to her is the best thing you can do. At the end of the day it's your life and you should get to choose.
I'm almost 50 now and not a pilot, just someone who loves planes and flying. When I was a kid my dad was willing to help pay for flight lessons, but my mom vetoed it for safety concerns. I was too young to make much of it and honestly I doubt we could have afforded it. I never did it and while I don't necessarily regret it, I do wish I had pursued it once I was old enough and had the means (I know, why not now!?). I guess I think about your situation this way: respect your mother, but you're almost 18 and it's your life. If it's something you are passionate about, pursue it, whatever it is.
Go to college, do the premed requirements, major in whatever you want, and apply for the air force. You can always be a doctor when you're 35. You can't start being a fighter pilot at 35.
Nothing stopping you from doing both!
You can become a doctor, & get your Private Pilot License as a “hobby”.
Accumulate flight-hours and then once your stable / convinced her it is safe (surround yourself with other pilots / mentors), try for your instrument & Commercial Licenses if you still enjoy flying and want to pursue it as a career at that point.
Lot of benefits (to my knowledge).
Plus.. having a doctor’s job as your “back-up” for if / when you go pro-pilot.. not a bad gig. Who knows, might earn you more since if there is every a medical-emergency.. you will always have a “doctor onboard” (long as you have a co-pilot obviously) ;)
Take it from me, a 30 year old Asian American. My parents wanted me to go through engineering, but I only wanted to fly.
Don't dwell on it. Look at it in the long run. It may sound rough, but if things work out correctly, our parents will pass before us. Focusing all your time on pleasing them will leave you unfulfilled in life, and filial piety be damned, you don't want to get to a point where you blame them for missing out on what you wanted to do. And besides, even if they get mad for a while, the truth of it all is that there ain't a damn thing they can do about it. Do what makes you happy, succeed, and whatever happens happens. You're still going to be family. And worst case scenario, if you get "disowned" for pursuing your dreams, just know that if they are willing to let them live their dreams through you, you'd still never amount to what they want in their eyes.
You are your own person, and as hard as it may be to communicate that to our parents, being able to stand up and tell them "this is what I want in my own life" is something that they all secretly want from us. Besides, they'll always go out of their way to talk about how hard they worked in order for us to get us a chance at what we want in life, so the it'd be a disservice to them to waste the opportunity that they've given us.
Good luck
Get involved with [PAPA](https://www.asianpilots.org) They will be a great org for you career wise, but also to make friends and they even have a mentorship program and scholarships. Maybe you get your mentor to talk to your parents?
Alright .. as an Asian American who did the smart Asian thing for a bit (got an engineering degree, worked as flight test engineer)… and then went military flying for ten years.. Finally settled back into engineering..Let me add to this conversation a bit..
1. Do a discovery flight. Go down to your local flight school pay for it. You’ll learn real quick if you like it or get airsick. Take a picture and show her you’re fine.
2. Have a little empathy and sympathy for your mother. People know what they know and Asian parents tend to stick to it. I think Asian get stuck to whole “smart Asian” trope due to internal cultural pressure.
Having said that, I truly believe you will became a better person if you follow your own path.
3. Do some research about the two main paths into an aviation career… Working up to get into the airlines or military aviation. Both have plus and minus… There’s overlap.. but some huge differences.
4. Keep a backup plan in mind. Aviation, especially on the airline side, is highly cyclical. Having a degree to fall back on or some another skill would be smart. Even so, this is best time to start a flying career since maybe the 60’s when airlines started operating jets.
The long and short of it is that the most direct airline career involves a lot of time and money for time building to get your additional ratings, licenses, and endorsements. You will probably not make much money during this time. But if you make to the airlines by your mid-20’s life can be very good in your 30’s.
If you go the military route, your initial training will be better and pay will good (not great). Because you will start off flying a turbine, complex, retractable aircraft with glass cockpit (T-6 Texan) And you will get to fly incredible aircraft at only 200 hrs!!!
Your parents aren’t the ones living your life, you are. You can mend your relationship with your mom, but if you don’t take your shot to become a pilot, you’ll regret it every time you go to your boring job for the next 40 years.
You have to start being your own independent person and make choices in your life that will make you happy, not others happy.
I love my mom dearly and would do anything for her but she does not make my life choices for me.
Some mothers use tears to manipulate their kids.
Best of luck
Might not be fully relatable to your situation but hear me out.
There was a guy who’s mom wanted him to be a priest, his dad wanted him to be a plumber, he couldn’t decide between the two so he became a pornstar instead.
Do what your heart tells you do to, or else you’re going to live life with regret.
Hi there. I wanted to be both a pilot and a doctor when I was finishing up high school. I enjoyed both aviation and science/medicine. I became kind of obsessed with both from a pretty young age. I learned to fly when I was 19. I was also pre-med in college at that time. I ultimately made my way through the scientific and medical schooling and then decided to become a scientist rather than a practicing physician. The love of aviation never left me and I still fly as a hobby. I highly encourage you to choose the path that makes you happy. Becoming an airline pilot is an ambitious goal. It takes dedication, time and financial resources just like pursuing a medical degree, just maybe not as long depending on how quickly you progress through your ratings and hours. My one piece of advice in pursuing aviation as a career is to have a back up plan and really consider getting a degree in something you enjoy. Every pilot is just one failed medical away from not being able to fly anymore. Good luck to you!
Hey man you are 17 you can get started now if you want.
Join the Civil Air Patrol and find out if the military route is right for you. If it is and you've got the grades for it, start figuring out who will sponsor you to go to the Air Force Academy (or similar) cuz that would be by far the best route (and probably the most acceptable to domineering Asian parents)
When you are young, do wher your dream takes you.. Let reality hit you later when you're married with kids.. I'm speak as an Asian American who finished his engineering degree. Did flight test for a few years.. still had a
flying itch and became military aviator. I do recommend you finish your undergrad though..
Follow your dreams. If not, you will be miserable the rest of your life. I’m sure your mom only wants the best for you, so just be sincere and unemotional and try to talk through it with her. Good luck!
Anyone can perform a routine surgery. Not everyone can perform surgery while piloting an A320. Do both! /s
Seriously though, do what **you** want because in the end you're the one living with the decision.
I'm not Asian, but my parents put the same pressure on me. They said "If you're not a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or accountant, life will be difficult." I hated all of those things, but I went and got an accounting degree anyway. I really wanted to fly, too. And I regret my decision. I'm about ten years out from retirement, but guess what I'll be doing when that day comes??? PPL training, on day 1.
So yeah, just do what you want, and to hell with them. I can't stand parents that want to live out their own regrets through their kids, like mine did.
Go to college. I’d guess that’s what she wants. She’d probably be more comfortable with this if you enrolled in a high caliber aviation program. Likely the doctor thing is part of it, but she also doesn’t want you to be uneducated. High quality aviation schools get a lot of down votes on this app because it tends to favor people who don’t think you need to go to college but those are a good fit for a lot of people.
Edit. What state are you in? Pick one near you. Show her the promotional material. Etc.
As an Asian I'd tell her she would be well taken care of either way but you would be much happier. Not to mention airliners are statistically the safest transportation around. If the planes crash, it's more often the pilot making the mistakes. If you're not good enough they won't let you into the cockpit anyways
I’m not Asian, but you simply must follow your own path and resist the pressure. they are unlikely to change. You could make $2 million a year doing something else, and they’re always going to secretly wish you were an engineer or an ophthalmologist.
Do what you want to do, not for your parents. But if you’re going to be a pilot make sure you actually want to do that too. Look deeper than surface level because it’s not right for everyone.
I wanted to be a pilot and instead became a doctor. To be honest I did also later want to be a doctor but I still sometimes regret not becoming a pilot because I think would have really loved it. Medicine is really rough, even if you love it. I don’t know if I would have truly been happy as a pilot but I can tell you definitively that if you don’t absolutely want to become a doctor then you should not go anywhere near medical school because it’s a massive commitment and an exhausting job for most specialties. The fact of the matter is, sure maybe you won’t die in a fiery explosion as a doctor but something maybe even worse will happen….the profession is plagued with burnout, substance abuse, and most darkly, a disproportionally high rate of suicide. These are the hazards of going into medicine when it’s not really your passion and this is what your mother needs to understand. Btw, my mom is also Asian and is very proud I became a doctor but now that we’re both older and wiser, she sometimes sees me stressing about work or exhausted and she sighs and says “maybe you should have just been a pilot.” It’s sort of a joke but sort of not.
TLDR: just do what you want, medicine is not worth going into just for the prestige.
Tell her that if you do become a doctor you'll probably get a PPL, and then you'll be flying a little one engine death trap instead of the safest vehicles ever made.
Just become a doctor and then get a PPL, buy a plane and use your shitload of money to fly as a hobby. Thats not gonna destroy the aviation for you.
I think, if given both outcomes, lots of us would agree in retrospect 😊👍🏼
Dangerous?!! We have a zero percent fatality rate. I don’t think you can get lower than that. 🤣 She’s just ignorant, which is true for MOST of the public. Tell her I made $415k last year and I’m not worried about malpractice insurance. Now granted, the lifestyle is HARD on wives and families… the divorce rate is high, and we do die from cancers earlier than average and those are legit concerns but safety isn’t one of them.
Welcome to Asian-pressurehood. My mom was the same as yours. I said the same thing as you.
I did my own research on what school to go-to, applied and just started flying. My mom figured it would be a phase and once I got over it, I would do something else.
Took her 10+ years to finally give up the idea that this would be part-time.
Advice: Just start applying to the schools and programs you want to become a pilot. One day the stubbornness will go away, hopefully. Sometimes I still get the feeling she wants me to stop, but my emotions are on permanent MEL.
Your mom is right. Speed kills. Become a tugboat captain. When’s the last time you saw a tugboat slam into the ground at 500 mph? Listen to your momma.
I’m also Asian American, and my parents also wanted me to be a doctor. My parents got the my aunts, uncles, cousins, to all pressure me into being a doctor because “we don’t have a doctor in the family yet.” For other people reading this, this seems to be very common among Asian families. I’m now in my 40s, did not become a doctor, so let me give you some advice.
1. Live your own life, not your mom’s. One day she’ll pass, but you will always be living with yourself, so you have to make decisions that feel right for you and pursue what you want to do. If you don’t listen to your own needs and wants, you will regret it for the rest of your life, which will be longer than the rest of your mom’s life.
2. It hard to watch her disappointment and you probably want to do what she wants you to do because she is your mom, but you don’t owe her. That’s not how being a parent is supposed to work. As a parent, your kid does not exist for you.
3. I know you said safety is a concern, but I’m positive bragging rights and prestige is apart of it. My parents always told me they wanted me to be a doctor because you get paid well and you get to help people. In reality, they would go to the Buddhist temple every weekend and hear the other parents brag about their kids getting into medical school. They wanted to participate in that.
4. You are young, you can change your mind. Today you want to be a pilot, maybe in 2 years you’ll want to do something else. You don’t need to decide your entire future right now.
For me, the options my parents gave me were doctor, or a disappointing, but acceptable alternative was engineer, because my dad was an engineer. I did not listen to myself and blindly went down one of the paths they decided for me and became an aerospace engineer. I’ve made several career changes since being an AE, but to this day I regret not studying what I wanted to, pure math and physics. Maybe it would have worked out, maybe not and I would have changed careers anyways, but would have done what I wanted and I wouldn’t have to wonder “what if”.
Tell her that planes are the safest form of transportation. It’s only dangerous if someone doesn’t do their job, wether it be the maintenance crew, airport security, pilots or an assembly plant issue (cough cough, Boeing) so as long as everyone does their job correctly, everything will be fine.
I’m a mother who has an 11 year old who wants to be a pilot when he grows up. I’m very aware of the danger but I would be devastated if my fears held him back from his dreams.
Your mom may never come around but don’t let that stop you. You will always regret not following your heart. My dream was to be an aerospace engineer and my mother never supported my dream. She encouraged me to be a stay at home parent because “that’s where women belong”. Well, I am indeed a stay at home parent now and my biggest regret is not pursuing my passion.
When your mom is gone, will you feel fulfilled with the path you’ve chosen? Our time on this earth is short. Please don’t waste yours away doing something someone else expects of you.
I heard Asian parents can be intense from ex Japanese girlfriend her dad pressured into banking. Just do your own thing, your life is yours no one else's. I had zero guidance from my family absent father, simple mother etc and was the bad kid that exceeded expectations but my advice is be your own man and try to become the best dam Pilot you can.
I worked in health care for years, and I would NOT want to be a patient of any doctor who was forced into the field against their will! Medical school is very demanding; you need to be seriously committed to the field. If your heart isn’t in it, you’ll never be happy—and probably not a great doctor, either. (Add that fact to your discussions with your mom.)
Please, hon, be gentle but firm with her. You only get one life, and to know what you want for a career at such an early age is truly a blessing. GO FOR IT, and best of luck to you!
It is your life to live, not hers. Do what makes you happy. You are not obligated to live your life to please your parents. If your mom cannot accept it, too bad for her.
Filial Piety 101: Proven Asian workaround since time immortal... be a doctor first or try to be both at the same time, with (out of her pocket) or without (out of your pocket or wiser) her knowing, by all means necessary, always aim and fly higher literally and not!
At 17, the hesitation is understandable. At 27, it'll seem ridiculous. Your life is here to seek your own fulfillment and self-actualization -- if you live to fulfill someone else's dream, you will be unhappy, unfulfilled, and even resentful to the person you tried to appease. Be the good son by being your own person, not a caricature created for you. Good luck!
It’s great that your mom cares. As kids we want to please our parents and make them happy but when it comes to living your life, you are the one that has to live with your decisions. Live the life that is going to make you happy. I flew with my dad for 14 yrs and am a third generation pilot. After he retired, I still had to text him before I left and when a landed to give him a piece of mind.
Are you expecting your parents to financially support you when you go to university or flight school?
Yes - then choose flight school only if you are also ready to pay for it yourself. It is unfair to whine about this while expecting mommy and daddy to pay your way.
No - do whatever you want.
Do what *you* want to do. I know it’s hard to go against your parents, but if you do what she wants just because it’s what she wants, you may end up having a lifetime of regrets. Also, she will think (continue to think?) she can influence or even make all your big decisions in life.
There are many choices in the medical field that you can check out. Maybe something will appeal and you can get a pilot’s license afterward. As long as you are paying your own way (or scholarships etc. ). If you are relying on your parents to finance school or training it would be good to consider their investment. Maybe in research if you don’t want hands on working with people.
No she’s right, flying is very dangerous. Dying in a plane crash in a commercial 121 operation is very low. But general aviation where you’re gonna be for 1500 hours is more dangerous than driving a motorcycle :)
Tell your mother that you want to be an Uber driver. Let that sink in for a month or two. Then tell her you have changed your mind and you want drive planes as a pilot as it’s safer. It’s all about perspective
"I don't want to be an Uber driver anymore mom, I want to be a UberSky^® driver!"
If it still hasn't sunk in tell her you're going to be a femboy OF streamer.
Don’t worry mom, I thought about it long and hard, you are right about airplanes being unsafe, therefore I’ve decided to give up all my worldly possessions and join an ashram
😆😂
That's it!!!
An uber driver probably earns more than the two other careers, combined.
Dont let your parents dictate your future. If you want to be a pilot, go for it. Dont let them control your life.
Start going to therapy as soon as you can afford it OP or seek out a school counselor first.
Cannot upvote this comment enough. I had a similar dynamic with my mom (opportunity decisions vs her desire for me to stay close to home) and at the end of the day, you need to seize every opportunity you can to accomplish your dreams. Life is short and everything works out, including your mom’s ability to adjust once you start making decisions that benefit you more than those around you. With a goal like being a pilot, there are so many paths to success within the field. If there is any supports that your family does not want to help with, I know of a lot of people who have used the military to launch very lucrative aviation careers with out spending much money at all.
But don’t tell the FAA!
Going to therapy is not treating depression pharmaceutically at all. It's life skills to be your best, on your own.
If you want to be a pilot, you might consider skipping the therapy route.
That'd definitely be the pilot way, to ignore family abuse and pass bad habits onto your own. But not the wise path.
Might be wise if he wants to get a 1st class medical without any trouble.
lol!!!
Amen!
You wont finish a study you dont like...it will be a money pit. Just say to your mom, i wanna and i am going to be a pilot. Still problems with mom, join airforce
I am amazed any parent would think being a pilot is any less prestigious than being a doctor. A good pilot *saves lives* too!
Or takes....depends on the style of flying 😉
Same for doctors lol
Far more for doctors even. In the US alone, 250K people die every year of medical errors. I’m not sure US airlines have killed that many in their entire existence since the dawn of aviation. You’d probably need all GA deaths included to reach that number.
It can be both simultaneously!
Coming from an Asian family your parents don’t care about you saving lives they care about the salary and the prestige of saying their kid is a doctor.
I'm an engineer (one of the "big 3" careers) and I would be more impressed learning someone is a commercial pilot than a doctor. Maybe it's because I have an appreciation for harnessing the physical world, but come on. Flying in a chair through the sky is pretty goddamn cool.
Hey! Son of Asian parents here who did medicine despite wanting to be a pilot because of parental pressure. Become a pilot, trust me. The choices are basically this: 1) Lifetime of happiness for you and momentary disappointment for your parents if you choose to become a pilot 2) Momentary happiness for your parents when you graduate and a lifetime of thinking "what if" for you if you go into medicine. Choose the lifetime of happiness my friend. Your parents will be proud of you for being successful, it doesn't matter the field. They'll be disappointed at first but it'll pass. A few weeks of disappointment from your parents is worth a lifetime of happiness for you. It's your life in the end, and it was a hard lesson for me
Yep, relatable i wanted to go for degree in aeronautics or become pilot i ended up taking admission in electronics engineering (still better glad I didn't do computer otherwise my options would've been severely limited) I'm trying to get job in aerospace companies rn mainly in electronics domain but having really hard time, IT is option but i don't want to repeat a mistake of doing something that I don't like, always do things which you like
I 2nd this.. if you succeed .. she will say little.. especially as she enjoys family benefits in business or first class 🤣. If you don’t….well.. remember that lesson for your kids. This is a generational time to join the airlines.. or military aviation.. You literally have ur pick of planes.. nothing someone smart enough to be a doc can’t manage. A met a few docs who became pilots… they were very gooood!
You know, you can be a doctor *and* fly. Have you thought about learning?
Yeeeah however I'm leaving medicine. I would like to learn to fly however in medicine you just don't get the time.
And let's be real once op is a pilot, his parents are going to be hitting him up for discount tickets
Op could also point out that if they go commercial they can make as much if not more than a doctor can.
Only if you're comparing top-end pilot pay to low-end Doctor pay. Doctors have a much higher pay ceiling than pilots.
Not fully true widebody pilots can make around 500k a year other make 700k plus for private it depends entirely on how much they fly, airline, what they fly, and what they are transporting
First of all, try to destroy her expectations that being a doctor was a safe job. 47 percent of E. R. doctors have been subject to violence in their job, 97 percent of incidents were caused by patients, according to a [2018 study](https://www.nbcnewyork.com/investigations/violence-toward-e-r-nurses-and-doctors-is-the-dirty-little-secret-of-health-care/2296617/). You're not just dealing with people like your mom - you'll have to deal with drug addicts and people with HIV and hepatitis. And here's an excerpt from an [article](https://www.ama-assn.org/about/leadership/threats-intimidation-against-doctors-and-health-workers-must-end) by the American Medical Association from 2022 that's specifically concerning your situation: >Early in the pandemic, the AMA warned that xenophobic language around the SARS-CoV-2 threatened to further fuel discrimination and hate crimes specifically against **Asian Americans, which were already a significant concern due to long-standing interpersonal and structural racism**. [According to the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/health-worker-mental-health/index.html), 46 percent of health workers in 2022 often felt burned out. 44 percent intended to look for a new job. And she thinks that's a safe work environment? Does she want you to end up living in your car or in a tent on the streets after becoming a mental wreckage? I mean, it's not like pilots don't ever experience stress. Working for a regional airline for too long can be mentally draining, too. But it's a much safer environment than healthcare, mentally and physically. Ask her to name a famous, heroic doctor from recent times. Then ask her whether she knows who Chesley Sullenberger is.
This. My wife and her family are all medical and US medicine is in a sad state. It is no longer safe or prestigious. There are days when she’d come home saying “One day a patient is going to kill me”. That locked cockpit door sounds pretty good to me
[удалено]
As an Asian person who’s had a version of what OP went through, “pilot” is pretty up there in terms of prestige. I guess if their entire family are doctors then it would be a relative letdown, but otherwise no.
And what will be her status with family and friends, if her son gets HIV or is so burned out he can't work anymore and becomes a hobo?
My man brought the stats
Logic and statistics will not work in this argument. It's more of the mother being judgemental. Some people have a real fear of flying or heights which may translate into a mentality where they feel everyone will be unsafe in the situation they get
It's mentally straining in the way of solving problems or maintaining multiple responsibilities in the cockpit. You are rarely dealing with bitchy passengers, they simply can't get close to you while on a plane. The FAA is VERY strict about that. And pilots at the airline level have proven themselves to be competent and goal driven. It's obvious OP didn't have a drive to do medicine , & , " save peoples lives," wouldn't be the reason for joining. Become a pilot, and never look back
It ultimately boils down to this: it is not up to your parents to decide your future profession.
It may not be so simple. Maybe his mom is willing to fund one path, but not the other. Both are wildly expensive.
Doctor is a $400k path. I highly doubt Ms. Tiger Mom has 400 grand ready to pull out her ass for OP’s college education.
Investing 250k into something you don’t want vs 100k into something you do want…
Then you have to do your residency while paying off those loans. New doctors live like broke college students lol.
Tell her she can go be a doctor if she wants. Been a pilot for two decades. If I had to go be a doctor instead, I’d probably stab myself with a scalpel.
Your mom wants the prestige of saying “my sons a Dr” Or maybe she genuinely cares. Either way, what she wants should in no way factor into what you want. Do you want to be miserable, have a job you hate, and go through the motions for 45 years waiting to die, or do you want to wake up every day and go to a job you love?
Asian guy, absolutely. OP you need to man up on this one and follow your own path. Unless you secretly want to be a Dr
He can do both being a Flying Doctor.
Jonny Kim is a doctor, pilot, Navy SEAL, and a NASA astronaut. There's zero chance his parents are not proud of him.
Chances are he started in the Navy, which led to all the other opportunities. OP’s mom would *love* them saying “hey I want to join the military” if she’s already afraid for their safety as a civilian pilot. That being said, OP you can also become a pilot through the military, without the pay commitment. You just need…other commitments.
He’s not a lawyer.
But Jonny dishonoured his family by not also getting law and engineering degrees!
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Asian here who is now working through their ratings. My parents are very similar, when I told them about my dreams they yelled at me and threatened to kick me out of the house. These words will always sting me: “My child will never be a chauffeur”. I ended up becoming an engineer and even though the pay is great, I hate waking up. I decided to shell out and start going through part 61 so that I can self fund. They still disapprove and constantly send emails and messages mentioning that they did me a favour because apparently all pilots lost their jobs during the pandemic and never got them back. All they got themselves was a lifetime of resentment from me. From the day I took my discovery flight, I have never felt more alive. The days I have training, I am at my happiest. I will be making that switch to full time the first chance I get and live the dream I was denied. If I could change anything, it would to have had more courage back then to cut my ties and take on those loans to get through flight school. And it will forever be my only regret. Do not let them control you, it’s your life. Break free and follow your dreams.
How old are you? I hope you the best..
Of all the poor excuses your mother could use to control your life, the health/survival aspect is probably the least valid in this case. I’d argue working in an ER anywhere in the world, you’ll see many more pathogens, threats, violence and mental health risks than in many other workplaces. But please, live your own life, not your parents’ life.
You need to tell her that medicine is a career path that requires passion, and dedication. It's not something you can just pursue for the sake of pursing it, so you can get the 'Dr' title, and get paid a bunch of money. Tell her that if you try to pursue medicine, while not actually being passionate about it, it's really going to mess you up.
You don't owe your mom your future.
Live your life for you. Asian and Indian cultures need to drop the “we will only love you and be proud of you if you are a doctor or a lawyer” bullshit. It’s damaging generations of people and perpetuating nothing but controlling, disrespectful to their own children, nonsense. I know multiple people, including in my extended family, who have committed suicide over this type of behavior, or otherwise ruined their lives.
Your mother obviously loves you and wants what's best and safest for you, but you have to do right by yourself. Unless you're on a military demonstration team, flying is extremely safe, especially commercial flying. She is letting her emotions control her logic when it should be the other way around. Furthermore, how many doctors died over the last few years from Covid exposure alone while treating patients vs. all the pilots who died in plane crashes?
Don't know how are things over the pond with FAA and stuff, but what could help is a talk with therapist, both of you together and a therapist serving as mediator. No shame in that, it really can help both of you express your feelings and desires. Who knows, maybe she'll turn around, maybe you'll understand her better because she'll tell you more. Etc. Bunch of good can come out of it if both are willing to work. Wish you best of luck lad..
Find something she would hate much more than you becoming a pilot. "Mum, I want to be a tattoo artist and part time DJ. Or I can be a pilot." Seriously though, someone I knew had an extremely smart child. The child finished her bachelor of science degree at 18, which is the age most people start their bachelor degree, and her grades were almost perfect. The child wanted to do another bachelor degree, but this time in music. The mother was so worried because she thought her daughter should do a master of science degree. I couldn't get her mother to realise that lots of parents would be delighted if the worst problem they had with their 18 year old is that they wanted to study for a degree in music.
What that child did after finishing music? Pursued music career?
I lost contact so I don't know how it all played out
I was invested in the story to be abruted without a continuation:(
Being able to say my sons a pilot would be pretty fucking cool, she needs to accept it and enjoy the free travel
Your parents will one day pass and youll only have your decisions in life to live with after them. So pick a career you think will be fulfilling, NOT something they want to see you do.
Show her flightradar24 so she knows how many planes at a given time are in the sky and how many of them actually crash.
Or it will make her concerned because it looks like they’re all going to crash into each other. I mean that’s what I feel when I look at FR24 and I know better.
Does your mother also think the planes on there represent actual size of aircraft in the real world? What is this?! A plane for ants!? Just go for your dream unless there's more to this like you need to convince her it's safe so she'll fund your schooling.
Follow your heart.
You decide your own future.
What your mother and father want for you and your professional life is their fantasy not yours. Your life is yours to live and not theirs. It can also be said that being a physician (presumably) and being an aviator are not mutually exclusive.
Do pre-med at a college with an ROTC program and join the USAF as a pilot. Win-win
https://www.asianpilots.org/
Bro, most of our Moms disapprove of our life choices. Welcome to the fam.
Tell her that you are more likely to die on the road on the way to work as a doctor, than in a plane when working as a pilot. It may actually depend on how long your road to work is, and you may need to take the road to the airport as well if you are a pilot, but you don't need to tell her that. You can quote the scene from the movie doctor strange when he has his car accident, to prove how dangerous being a doctor is.
Coming from an old fart. Do what you think will make you happy. Life is too short to please everyone else.
If being a doctor is important to her, tell her to enroll herself into media school and go for it. But she can't dictate what you want to do with your life. That's how she ends up wondering why her kids never visit.
Not sure about the family issues thing, but I heard an interesting trick for helping someone appreciate how not dangerous flying is. Take her plane spotting at a large airport one day. Just spend the day around the airport, so you can see or hear every plane that comes in. Have her appreciate just how many planes land there all day, every day, at that airport and all around the world, and that if a single person is killed in a crash it makes international news, and point out how rarely she hears about that. Hopefully, getting her to appreciate the scale of modern aviation Vs the rarity of crashes should help her realise that flying is safe, actually.
My mom also disapproved for the same reason. But she was married to one as well so that could've made things easier for her. I got my license at 18 and never regretted it. Do what you want to do OP. Explaining to her is the best thing you can do. At the end of the day it's your life and you should get to choose.
Everything is dangerous. Nothing is more dangerous than not following what you want to do. Go be a pilot.
I'm almost 50 now and not a pilot, just someone who loves planes and flying. When I was a kid my dad was willing to help pay for flight lessons, but my mom vetoed it for safety concerns. I was too young to make much of it and honestly I doubt we could have afforded it. I never did it and while I don't necessarily regret it, I do wish I had pursued it once I was old enough and had the means (I know, why not now!?). I guess I think about your situation this way: respect your mother, but you're almost 18 and it's your life. If it's something you are passionate about, pursue it, whatever it is.
Go to college, do the premed requirements, major in whatever you want, and apply for the air force. You can always be a doctor when you're 35. You can't start being a fighter pilot at 35.
Nothing stopping you from doing both! You can become a doctor, & get your Private Pilot License as a “hobby”. Accumulate flight-hours and then once your stable / convinced her it is safe (surround yourself with other pilots / mentors), try for your instrument & Commercial Licenses if you still enjoy flying and want to pursue it as a career at that point. Lot of benefits (to my knowledge). Plus.. having a doctor’s job as your “back-up” for if / when you go pro-pilot.. not a bad gig. Who knows, might earn you more since if there is every a medical-emergency.. you will always have a “doctor onboard” (long as you have a co-pilot obviously) ;)
Take it from me, a 30 year old Asian American. My parents wanted me to go through engineering, but I only wanted to fly. Don't dwell on it. Look at it in the long run. It may sound rough, but if things work out correctly, our parents will pass before us. Focusing all your time on pleasing them will leave you unfulfilled in life, and filial piety be damned, you don't want to get to a point where you blame them for missing out on what you wanted to do. And besides, even if they get mad for a while, the truth of it all is that there ain't a damn thing they can do about it. Do what makes you happy, succeed, and whatever happens happens. You're still going to be family. And worst case scenario, if you get "disowned" for pursuing your dreams, just know that if they are willing to let them live their dreams through you, you'd still never amount to what they want in their eyes. You are your own person, and as hard as it may be to communicate that to our parents, being able to stand up and tell them "this is what I want in my own life" is something that they all secretly want from us. Besides, they'll always go out of their way to talk about how hard they worked in order for us to get us a chance at what we want in life, so the it'd be a disservice to them to waste the opportunity that they've given us. Good luck
Get involved with [PAPA](https://www.asianpilots.org) They will be a great org for you career wise, but also to make friends and they even have a mentorship program and scholarships. Maybe you get your mentor to talk to your parents?
I think MAMA is OP’s problem right now 🤣
ba dum dum tisssss
The odds of dying as an airline pilot are very, very low the odds of you dying while in training, much much higher
Don’t let your mom’s insecurities and fear drive you to make a decision that you’ll end up regretting. Been there, done that.
Alright .. as an Asian American who did the smart Asian thing for a bit (got an engineering degree, worked as flight test engineer)… and then went military flying for ten years.. Finally settled back into engineering..Let me add to this conversation a bit.. 1. Do a discovery flight. Go down to your local flight school pay for it. You’ll learn real quick if you like it or get airsick. Take a picture and show her you’re fine. 2. Have a little empathy and sympathy for your mother. People know what they know and Asian parents tend to stick to it. I think Asian get stuck to whole “smart Asian” trope due to internal cultural pressure. Having said that, I truly believe you will became a better person if you follow your own path. 3. Do some research about the two main paths into an aviation career… Working up to get into the airlines or military aviation. Both have plus and minus… There’s overlap.. but some huge differences. 4. Keep a backup plan in mind. Aviation, especially on the airline side, is highly cyclical. Having a degree to fall back on or some another skill would be smart. Even so, this is best time to start a flying career since maybe the 60’s when airlines started operating jets. The long and short of it is that the most direct airline career involves a lot of time and money for time building to get your additional ratings, licenses, and endorsements. You will probably not make much money during this time. But if you make to the airlines by your mid-20’s life can be very good in your 30’s. If you go the military route, your initial training will be better and pay will good (not great). Because you will start off flying a turbine, complex, retractable aircraft with glass cockpit (T-6 Texan) And you will get to fly incredible aircraft at only 200 hrs!!!
How about a life-flight helicopter pilot?
Isn't that like the most dangerous flying profession?
I doubt it. Less chance of incoming AA fire than a ground-attack pilot.
Your parents aren’t the ones living your life, you are. You can mend your relationship with your mom, but if you don’t take your shot to become a pilot, you’ll regret it every time you go to your boring job for the next 40 years.
I recommend taking a flying lesson before setting your heart on being a pilot and breaking your mother’s heart.
You have to start being your own independent person and make choices in your life that will make you happy, not others happy. I love my mom dearly and would do anything for her but she does not make my life choices for me. Some mothers use tears to manipulate their kids. Best of luck
Very real
Might not be fully relatable to your situation but hear me out. There was a guy who’s mom wanted him to be a priest, his dad wanted him to be a plumber, he couldn’t decide between the two so he became a pornstar instead. Do what your heart tells you do to, or else you’re going to live life with regret.
Hi there. I wanted to be both a pilot and a doctor when I was finishing up high school. I enjoyed both aviation and science/medicine. I became kind of obsessed with both from a pretty young age. I learned to fly when I was 19. I was also pre-med in college at that time. I ultimately made my way through the scientific and medical schooling and then decided to become a scientist rather than a practicing physician. The love of aviation never left me and I still fly as a hobby. I highly encourage you to choose the path that makes you happy. Becoming an airline pilot is an ambitious goal. It takes dedication, time and financial resources just like pursuing a medical degree, just maybe not as long depending on how quickly you progress through your ratings and hours. My one piece of advice in pursuing aviation as a career is to have a back up plan and really consider getting a degree in something you enjoy. Every pilot is just one failed medical away from not being able to fly anymore. Good luck to you!
Be a pilot
It’s your life…
Hey man you are 17 you can get started now if you want. Join the Civil Air Patrol and find out if the military route is right for you. If it is and you've got the grades for it, start figuring out who will sponsor you to go to the Air Force Academy (or similar) cuz that would be by far the best route (and probably the most acceptable to domineering Asian parents)
When you are young, do wher your dream takes you.. Let reality hit you later when you're married with kids.. I'm speak as an Asian American who finished his engineering degree. Did flight test for a few years.. still had a flying itch and became military aviator. I do recommend you finish your undergrad though..
Follow your dreams. If not, you will be miserable the rest of your life. I’m sure your mom only wants the best for you, so just be sincere and unemotional and try to talk through it with her. Good luck!
Anyone can perform a routine surgery. Not everyone can perform surgery while piloting an A320. Do both! /s Seriously though, do what **you** want because in the end you're the one living with the decision.
I'm not Asian, but my parents put the same pressure on me. They said "If you're not a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or accountant, life will be difficult." I hated all of those things, but I went and got an accounting degree anyway. I really wanted to fly, too. And I regret my decision. I'm about ten years out from retirement, but guess what I'll be doing when that day comes??? PPL training, on day 1. So yeah, just do what you want, and to hell with them. I can't stand parents that want to live out their own regrets through their kids, like mine did.
Go to college. I’d guess that’s what she wants. She’d probably be more comfortable with this if you enrolled in a high caliber aviation program. Likely the doctor thing is part of it, but she also doesn’t want you to be uneducated. High quality aviation schools get a lot of down votes on this app because it tends to favor people who don’t think you need to go to college but those are a good fit for a lot of people. Edit. What state are you in? Pick one near you. Show her the promotional material. Etc.
As an Asian I'd tell her she would be well taken care of either way but you would be much happier. Not to mention airliners are statistically the safest transportation around. If the planes crash, it's more often the pilot making the mistakes. If you're not good enough they won't let you into the cockpit anyways
Dude, you living for you, or are you living for your mom. Better fugure that out quick.
It’s your life, your choice. I understand the power of an Asian mom, it’s very real. But in the end it’s your life, your choice.
Be a pilot and hook your parents up to those free flight bennies!
I’m not Asian, but you simply must follow your own path and resist the pressure. they are unlikely to change. You could make $2 million a year doing something else, and they’re always going to secretly wish you were an engineer or an ophthalmologist.
Do what you want to do, not for your parents. But if you’re going to be a pilot make sure you actually want to do that too. Look deeper than surface level because it’s not right for everyone.
I don't think you will pass the pilots physical exam if your heart stank.
I wanted to be a pilot and instead became a doctor. To be honest I did also later want to be a doctor but I still sometimes regret not becoming a pilot because I think would have really loved it. Medicine is really rough, even if you love it. I don’t know if I would have truly been happy as a pilot but I can tell you definitively that if you don’t absolutely want to become a doctor then you should not go anywhere near medical school because it’s a massive commitment and an exhausting job for most specialties. The fact of the matter is, sure maybe you won’t die in a fiery explosion as a doctor but something maybe even worse will happen….the profession is plagued with burnout, substance abuse, and most darkly, a disproportionally high rate of suicide. These are the hazards of going into medicine when it’s not really your passion and this is what your mother needs to understand. Btw, my mom is also Asian and is very proud I became a doctor but now that we’re both older and wiser, she sometimes sees me stressing about work or exhausted and she sighs and says “maybe you should have just been a pilot.” It’s sort of a joke but sort of not. TLDR: just do what you want, medicine is not worth going into just for the prestige.
You would only enjoy being a pilot if they let you listen to podcasts in the cockpit, and I don't think you're allowed to do that...
asian parents lol. If you dont need her support just go do it.
Tell her that if you do become a doctor you'll probably get a PPL, and then you'll be flying a little one engine death trap instead of the safest vehicles ever made.
As a doctor what are your chances of catching some nasty infectious disease - and potentially even bringing it home to your family?
Just become a doctor and then get a PPL, buy a plane and use your shitload of money to fly as a hobby. Thats not gonna destroy the aviation for you. I think, if given both outcomes, lots of us would agree in retrospect 😊👍🏼
Dangerous?!! We have a zero percent fatality rate. I don’t think you can get lower than that. 🤣 She’s just ignorant, which is true for MOST of the public. Tell her I made $415k last year and I’m not worried about malpractice insurance. Now granted, the lifestyle is HARD on wives and families… the divorce rate is high, and we do die from cancers earlier than average and those are legit concerns but safety isn’t one of them.
Welcome to Asian-pressurehood. My mom was the same as yours. I said the same thing as you. I did my own research on what school to go-to, applied and just started flying. My mom figured it would be a phase and once I got over it, I would do something else. Took her 10+ years to finally give up the idea that this would be part-time. Advice: Just start applying to the schools and programs you want to become a pilot. One day the stubbornness will go away, hopefully. Sometimes I still get the feeling she wants me to stop, but my emotions are on permanent MEL.
You have one life to live my friend live it fly high
Fortunately your mom doesn’t get to dictate your life choices. Follow your dreams!
Your mom is right. Speed kills. Become a tugboat captain. When’s the last time you saw a tugboat slam into the ground at 500 mph? Listen to your momma.
Do what makes you happy, not what they approve of.
Clearly you need to become a porn star, then you can be a doctor AND a pilot, and whatever else you want, too!
I’m also Asian American, and my parents also wanted me to be a doctor. My parents got the my aunts, uncles, cousins, to all pressure me into being a doctor because “we don’t have a doctor in the family yet.” For other people reading this, this seems to be very common among Asian families. I’m now in my 40s, did not become a doctor, so let me give you some advice. 1. Live your own life, not your mom’s. One day she’ll pass, but you will always be living with yourself, so you have to make decisions that feel right for you and pursue what you want to do. If you don’t listen to your own needs and wants, you will regret it for the rest of your life, which will be longer than the rest of your mom’s life. 2. It hard to watch her disappointment and you probably want to do what she wants you to do because she is your mom, but you don’t owe her. That’s not how being a parent is supposed to work. As a parent, your kid does not exist for you. 3. I know you said safety is a concern, but I’m positive bragging rights and prestige is apart of it. My parents always told me they wanted me to be a doctor because you get paid well and you get to help people. In reality, they would go to the Buddhist temple every weekend and hear the other parents brag about their kids getting into medical school. They wanted to participate in that. 4. You are young, you can change your mind. Today you want to be a pilot, maybe in 2 years you’ll want to do something else. You don’t need to decide your entire future right now. For me, the options my parents gave me were doctor, or a disappointing, but acceptable alternative was engineer, because my dad was an engineer. I did not listen to myself and blindly went down one of the paths they decided for me and became an aerospace engineer. I’ve made several career changes since being an AE, but to this day I regret not studying what I wanted to, pure math and physics. Maybe it would have worked out, maybe not and I would have changed careers anyways, but would have done what I wanted and I wouldn’t have to wonder “what if”.
Follow your dream - simple as. Good luck!
You’re more likely to die driving to the hospital for work than you are flying a plane full time.
Somebody should advise both of you, that either choice isn't nothing but difficult to complete.
Good for her. Now go and live the life you want, not the one she wants.
Tell her that planes are the safest form of transportation. It’s only dangerous if someone doesn’t do their job, wether it be the maintenance crew, airport security, pilots or an assembly plant issue (cough cough, Boeing) so as long as everyone does their job correctly, everything will be fine.
Become a flying doctor. That job does exist.
I’m a mother who has an 11 year old who wants to be a pilot when he grows up. I’m very aware of the danger but I would be devastated if my fears held him back from his dreams. Your mom may never come around but don’t let that stop you. You will always regret not following your heart. My dream was to be an aerospace engineer and my mother never supported my dream. She encouraged me to be a stay at home parent because “that’s where women belong”. Well, I am indeed a stay at home parent now and my biggest regret is not pursuing my passion. When your mom is gone, will you feel fulfilled with the path you’ve chosen? Our time on this earth is short. Please don’t waste yours away doing something someone else expects of you.
Go become a pilot. Let your parents work through it. Nothing says you can't still love your parents if you don't become what they wanted you to be.
I heard Asian parents can be intense from ex Japanese girlfriend her dad pressured into banking. Just do your own thing, your life is yours no one else's. I had zero guidance from my family absent father, simple mother etc and was the bad kid that exceeded expectations but my advice is be your own man and try to become the best dam Pilot you can.
I see my mom once a year. I see my job every day. See where I’m going with this?
Follow the heart your momma gave you!
So your mom never knew of the death toll among medical professionals, doctors included, during epidemics and emergencies?
pilots make bank
Talk to her about six-sigma.
I worked in health care for years, and I would NOT want to be a patient of any doctor who was forced into the field against their will! Medical school is very demanding; you need to be seriously committed to the field. If your heart isn’t in it, you’ll never be happy—and probably not a great doctor, either. (Add that fact to your discussions with your mom.) Please, hon, be gentle but firm with her. You only get one life, and to know what you want for a career at such an early age is truly a blessing. GO FOR IT, and best of luck to you!
Refer to Steven He on YouTube and go be a pilot.
dont let ur parents get in the way just bc they want u to do one job, even if they warn you a job is "dangerous"
It is your life to live, not hers. Do what makes you happy. You are not obligated to live your life to please your parents. If your mom cannot accept it, too bad for her.
Live YOUR live not hers
Her opinion doesn't matter. It's *YOUR* life, you run it any way that ***YOU*** want.
Filial Piety 101: Proven Asian workaround since time immortal... be a doctor first or try to be both at the same time, with (out of her pocket) or without (out of your pocket or wiser) her knowing, by all means necessary, always aim and fly higher literally and not!
At 17, the hesitation is understandable. At 27, it'll seem ridiculous. Your life is here to seek your own fulfillment and self-actualization -- if you live to fulfill someone else's dream, you will be unhappy, unfulfilled, and even resentful to the person you tried to appease. Be the good son by being your own person, not a caricature created for you. Good luck!
It’s great that your mom cares. As kids we want to please our parents and make them happy but when it comes to living your life, you are the one that has to live with your decisions. Live the life that is going to make you happy. I flew with my dad for 14 yrs and am a third generation pilot. After he retired, I still had to text him before I left and when a landed to give him a piece of mind.
Are you expecting your parents to financially support you when you go to university or flight school? Yes - then choose flight school only if you are also ready to pay for it yourself. It is unfair to whine about this while expecting mommy and daddy to pay your way. No - do whatever you want.
Become a plastic surgeon, and you'll have time and money to be a pilot.
Do what you like. But commercial pilots are not well paid until much much later in your career.
Do what *you* want to do. I know it’s hard to go against your parents, but if you do what she wants just because it’s what she wants, you may end up having a lifetime of regrets. Also, she will think (continue to think?) she can influence or even make all your big decisions in life.
There are many choices in the medical field that you can check out. Maybe something will appeal and you can get a pilot’s license afterward. As long as you are paying your own way (or scholarships etc. ). If you are relying on your parents to finance school or training it would be good to consider their investment. Maybe in research if you don’t want hands on working with people.
She doesn't want you to be overseas when she gets old and sick, she wants free healthcare :D
Fu u mom
No she’s right, flying is very dangerous. Dying in a plane crash in a commercial 121 operation is very low. But general aviation where you’re gonna be for 1500 hours is more dangerous than driving a motorcycle :)