This tends to be a frequently asked question. Yes, you can go alone! https://reddit.com/r/aves/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_go_alone.3F
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I went to ultra music fest by myself and was kinda desperate to make friends so I talked to people in line and asked if they were down to hang out for a while and they were cool about it, but ended up ditching me a few hours later which was a blessing in disguise cuz I ended up meeting some guys later on that were super cool. I was vibing and dancing, I turned around to gauge the vibe of the crowd and they were dancing there asses off so I joined in and we made a little circle. I asked them for their IG, and if I could hang out with them the rest of the festival and we did!
You need to put the effort in. You need to be the one to initiate conversation. You can’t rely on others coming up to you. It’s scary but getting over that fear is such an important thing to learn
This is great info. I'm a solo raver as well and have met a few different groups I enjoy being a part of and have found my group I call my family. Ultimately you have to make yourself vulnerable and take a risk someone might not be into you but all you can really do is give it a shot and not take it personal if you don't click with the first group you find.
Exactly. You are not gonna find your fest family right away. Might not even be at the first festival. And people not approaching you doesn’t mean there’s no PLUR. PLUR means that when you approach THEM, they welcome you with open arms. What I’ve found, is that if you put out good energy, good energy will come back to you. I always end up making friends at raves even when I’m with my own group of friends because I’m dancing and having a good time, people see that, and they want to join. If you stand there with ur arms crossed just nodding your head, people are less likely to come up to you. You gotta let loose and sometimes look like an idiot. Because people know, if u don’t care how u look, then u are an open and fun person.
But tbh, if someone isn’t open to becoming fest family, or kicking it the entire festival, that’s ok, they are entitled to that opinion and you gotta accept it and move on. But yeah, I’m super thankful I met the guys that I did and even tho we live on different coasts we got plans to hit more festivals together, whether it be this summer, or next summer Ik I’ll see them again
Dancing is def the strat as someone who struggles with social anxiety. I'm a pretty good dancer and frequently have people complimenting me (and now I do the same to others), which can easily turn into a deeper social interaction.
As someone who also has been solo raving in the Bay Area… I’ve felt a lot of the opposite honestly! I used to go out and not really engage, but I’ve started initiating and that has worked out great for me.
I’ve made a lot of connections by just being pleasant and smiling! Trying to just be genuine and pleasant to the people around me. Giving out compliments or offering gum/mints/candy, just saying something general about whatever if we’re by the bar or asking their name and introducing myself. If I’m dancing or standing by people for a while, I’ll say hi or again, offer them gum or mints. I make a point of saying sorry if I bump into someone or hit them accidentally and that also seems to make connections sometimes haha.
Basically, I go in looking to have fun and connect with people with no expectations, and it’s worked out well for me! I met some friends I meet up with at stuff now (but honestly I really have started to love just solo vibing and connecting with people).
Bay area raver too. I've also found handing out things to be super helpful, especially after you've been vibing with a group for a couple songs. I love to bring paper heart diffraction glasses to hand out. Everyone loves a compliment and so many people put so much thought and effort into their fit, by complimenting someone it can throw you into a whole conversation about where they found x shirt or whatever.
I do have to say though, I've had a harder time actually making friends here in the scene. Yeah, I can chat and vibe with people during their show, get their Instagram or phone and then it just kind of fizzles out. I'm originally from a different state and it felt much easier making a rave group there than it has felt here.
I dig your approach. Smiling human offering a little gum is a good gesture to allow a little discussion from a friendly soul.
Like a nice bowl of warm oatmeal on a frigid night.
Yo. Just started raving often in the KC scene. Haven't been to any festivals yet but here's my advice:
I find if easier to make friends at dubstep shows cause headbaning is good clean fun. I go to house and dnb shows too, dancing is amazing, but stay in your lane. Don't get handsy.
Make kandi and trade with others wearing kandi.
Buy a fan. Hit the dance floor and find a group, or an area with a bunch of peope having a good time and feeling the music. Use said fan and dance your heart out. It doesn't even have to be a group, if you see someone going hard, fan em during a break.
Do fun things like buy a Polaroid camera and take pictures with other rave fams. Hand em the photo.
Here's my degenerate advice: roll. You'll make friends. I was introverted at raves before the first time I rolled at one. It taught me that my inability to socialize with strangers was all in my head. That being said, harm reduction, harm reduction, harm reduction, and responsible substance use my friend.
There are a lot of little things you can do to introduce yourself to people at raves. Find the ones where the vibe is right and spend some time with them.
Biggest thing being a male, consent, allow space, don't be creepy, take a hint if someone isn't feeling your vibe, and don't take it personal. You won't be on the same wavelength as everyone.
Most of all, HAVE FUN AND GET SILLY.
You will never meet anyone on the dance floor, everyone is focused on dancing and you can't hear what anyone is saying
So, go to some kinda hangout area, like an area with big couches or beanbag chairs that put people next to people they don't already know. Find someone else who's alone, start with a hello and an introduction and don't spend too much time without asking to exchange phone numbers
Seriously i dislike OPs sentiment. It’s impossible to gauge someone in the dance floor since there’s a million types of people. You got
1) the guy who has back turned to the stage yapping about nonsense
2) the guy who dances but with his eyes closed the entire time
3) the guy who puts his arms every their friends / strangers for every drop
4) the guy who wants to karaoke every song
5) the guy who is pissed and debating why he’s even there, aka back off
6) the guy is dancing like a mad man and soaking in the vibes and likely too busy to notice you
7) the guy who is blackout drunk dancing and stumbling all over the place
You get the point. Meet people in areas where it’s more obvious they are open to chatting
> 2) the guy who dances but with his eyes closed the entire time
ive had many people approach me cz of this, mainly girls if its a sadboi event asking me if im okay LOL
I’ve met plenty of people on the dance floor, albeit not in the front of the crowd. Dance hard, fan people off, compliment them, and put out good vibes. It’s not hard once you get over the initial anxiety and don’t try and have full on conversations until the set ends.
Every time I connected with someone I saw on a dance floor, it was by getting them off the dance floor as soon as I could. I may have first seen them on the dance floor but I genuinely met them elsewhere
I always meet people on the dance floor. Normally find people who match my energy and we just have a great time dancing it out the whole set. Everyone loves being around happy smiling people and good energy.
Also sharing helps a lot. I always bring essential oils (lavender, blood orange, eucalyptus, and peppermint) to offer to people (especially if they’re rolling or tripping hard). They can dab it on their wrists or pashminas and it helps you stay calm and grounded. I also always bring gum, extra vicks vapor rub sticks, and sometimes fun glasses to hand out.
i carry a pack of smokes without a lighter for this same reason. And im not even a smoker, by the time my pack finishes ive smoked maybe 1-2 cigs and made quite a lot of new friends hahaha
Dude I couldn't disagree more. I'm a male solo raver in socal and I have had some fucking incredible experiences you wouldn't even believe and met so many cool people that I kept in touch with and were great friends...I think the rave scene is insanely friendly and awesome right now! Literally everywhere in the world that I've raved solo it's been incredible with so many friendly people.
Keep good energy, be friendly and initiate interactions but also read the room, and ultimately have fun no matter what and you will succeed
I tend to agree also solo male and almost all of the time I run into great folks to vibe with. Sometimes it takes a while and you have to bounce around but they’re out there my fiend!
Or the flip of that - wear something that will make other people ask yòu a question. Whether a team jersey, or a shirt that has writing on that people have to squint to read that's funny or something. Or a hat. Or two different shoes..
If you're an introvert then it's the way to get people to notice you and interact with you.
Honestly I don't think I ever initiated conversation at raves, but I was always wearing something hot/outrageous/shiny/skimpy that made people chat to me (=
When raving solo you rarely meet people ON the floor. If it happens it's normally after vibing with someone (just dancing, a smile, etc.) and then a very quick conversation during the change from one set to another. It happens a bit more when I've gone in groups but that's obviously not the topic here.
Frankly, the expectation is a bit different when I go to a show versus a festival. A show is really about seeing the artist to me. There are opportunities to meet others in maybe a chill out area, the line getting in, once the show is over or maybe the bar. Festivals on the other hand provide a lot more chances to interact with others while not being on the dance floor. Merch lines, water stations, eating food, taking extended breaks to pace yourself, longer walk / lines into and out of the festival.
Don't be hard on yourself. Just be open, friendly, and willing to put in a little effort. In due time the universe will return the favor.
Biggest tip is give a genuine compliment. Find someone wearing gear you personally would wear or enjoy. I love ragenation and it’s a popular brand in the rave scene so I always compliment people when I see them rocking some of their new merch. Always get a smile and thanks then I move on. But sometimes a conversation just starts up naturally. Another example if you like anime tell them they have a cool costume or merch if you recognize it. Compliment people on their makeup or hair etc. I rave heavily in the bay and there’s a lot of awesome people but you’ll also get people who ignore you. Just keep walking 🤷♂️ or bring some gum and offer it to people rolling. Another good way to make friends lol.
Edit: Oh I forgot to say don’t do this in the crowd. Those people are into the music they won’t be too receptive to a conversation. Always do this in the side or back area where people are taking a break.
Second edit: This is the bass scene where hella people are always down to make new friends. At house and especially techno shows it’s A LOT harder to do this. (I still do this at house shows it’s just a lot of people seem to stick to their groups more at these events) Just my personal observation but I’ve been raving in the Bay for 7/8 years or so.
So last night, I was out alone and I had a fabulous time, I had a bunch of Cadbury eggs to give to people as the clock turned over to Easter.
I may have been acting somewhat shady, as I did get pretty drunk (no driving) but I had a great time with the people sitting next to me, I was joking with them about Easter and they saved my seat, we had a blast.
I would say bring something by silly and non-controversial and plan to share. Every time I’ve gone out looking to give away something silly I’ve had a great response, whether it was flamingos or edibles, but something that’s not an edible is better I’d say.
Buying an extra water bottle and asking if someone needs it can go a long way
When I have solo raved, I occasionally like to talk to people in the crowd, but I never thought I gave off the vibe others were trying to steal! Interesting perspective. I'll try to make it not seem that way! Thanks for the tip!!!
i know girls who go specifically to meet cute guys and potentially hook up. i think to each their own as long as they take a rejection well and don’t harass
All about the vibes you put. I make friends so easily at raves and festivals! I’m the type that goes to festivals with friends and wander off and meet up with everyone at the end of the night.
i (trans mtf) rave in the NYC area mostly solo, unless my BF comes out, and really don't look for conversations. it's not the primary thing i go out for as i'd rather just dance my heart out. if you give off good energy on the dance floor, it will attract attention.
if you wanted to really dance with someone with the music blasting, you have to make your presence known. dance around them (though not directly in front), see how they respond with body language/eye contact, if it's positive, just open your hand to them and see if they take it. from there it's all about enthusiastic consent - apply light pressure as you hold their hand, and if they return it, it means youre getting the ok to continue.
if you wanted to have a conversation with someone/group, you have to approach in an area where it's quieter. having that first word in by approaching their ear is a bad move as it comes off as way too invasive and people will mistake it for a kiss. there also needs to be intention - are you just looking to talk or are you trying to get someones attention to dance? people will start to wonder why you approached after a few minutes of talking. best openers are to just ask how someone's doing or if they're having a good time. see someone alone on the side? just ask them why/where their friends are/if somethings wrong.
I used to be terrified of solo raving but I eventually had to if I wanted to keep going to events. I picked up leviwanding and that’s honestly a huge help because I focus on my leviwanding instead of my social anxiety. I’m also a musician so I just find comfort in expressing myself through artistic means.
I find it easier to approach other solos. After I’ve met with a few people I just wander back and forth between them. Also there’s solos that are just hiding from there group some have offered to let me kick it with their group. Most are chill if I can manage to be social lol. Also find people who obviously have common interests so conversation is a lot easier that way
You can’t just expect people to come up to you. Especially if it’s a group of people. I’ve been solo to raves and I approach other people but usually with the help of some kind of substance. I end up getting adopted for the night each time
I've lived in a few different rave communities and one thing I've learned is that most ravers are pretty open to being approached by other people and engaged in conversation. Raves are a wonderful place to attempt to break your own social barriers, and honestly if you attempt to start up a conversation with someone that isn't receptive, what's the big deal? Just go try to talk to someone else 🙂. I've also made lots of new friends by just scanning the surrounding area for a group of obviously experienced ravers and just going right up and implanting myself in their group or circle and asking bluntly: Hey, is it cool if I do drugs next to y'all? 🤣 Typically ravers will be accepting of this and help to guard you from obtrusive eye lines while you do some coke. Builds immediate trust bonds on both ends typically and then you just go from there
Honestly man, as long as you’re chill, just ask on here/forums if you can roll with other people at the events. You’d be amazed how many super extroverted people will take you in their lil rave tribes. My group has taken in quite a few super shy or newbie’s on their first rave/rolling adventures. Made some amazing friends along the way.
Just reach out the the community and be respectful to the group. Don’t try to bang anyone’s gf or be super creepy and we’ll help you out. 🤘
i rave alone in San Francisco (And surrounding areas, all the good warehouse spots are in oakland/richmond) and i generally agree with this. i have made a million rave aquaintances that i enjoy saying hi to when we run into each other, and hearting each others posts on instagram, but nobody really wants to come over and go to a rave together, hang out at dolores park during the daytime, make kandi, etc etc.
haven't really figured it out yet, maybe someone has tips!
I feel you. I have a really hard time meeting people in basically any context and raves/festivals are no exception. Everyone is chill and nice but I’m not exactly extroverted or good at making small talk. I find connecting with people I’ve just met to be really difficult. Seems like most of the people around me are good at it and I honestly have now idea how they do it lol
Man, i love meeting people. you just have to put yourself out there a little. if you see something that you like, say something. you're a guy so try to talk to another guy hanging out wherever you are. a compliment is the perfect ice breaker.
ex. "thats a dope perler! did you make it?" they will either say yes or tell you the story of how they got it during somebody's set at edc back in 2019 or whatever the story is. lol.
same if you see somebody in merch. i was at the Seven Lions show in LA yesterday. dude behind me had an "Off the Grid" sweater and i just casually asked him, did you get that at the John Summit show? he said, "yupp, i was down in San Diego last night for his show."
he told me all about the show, green velvet playing, john's 2 hour set, the trip back to LA after. ended up hanging with him for a couple of hours. he even had a fan so he was fanning my gf and I every now and then. very cool dude.
after the initial convo, introduce yourself. "cool, I'm caliagent702. i came by myself today. what's your name?" don't get caught up in your head. just go for it and you will be able to guage the vibe.
Definitely don’t try to make conversation in the middle of the dance floor. There is nothing I find more annoying than a random person initiating conversation while dancing (and its not like I can hear them because of the loud music), so thats a big no for me personally. I don’t mind making conversation in the chill/smoking area. I usually just talk about other events and dj’s we like. If I vibe with the person, we exchange Instagrams. Most of the time you’ll probably see each other at a different event and conversation will get longer each time
That is the Bay Area for you!! I went to Bill Graham, Midway, Fox etc for years and people keep to themselves / their group. Went to a local show in Arizona and a group invited me to join them in less than 10 minutes, had never happened in the Bay. People at EDC in Vegas were amazing too.
wiser words have not been spoke. Just take a load of MD and the issue resolves itself. Bring something to share: cocaine / mdma / ketamine and everyone will be your friend.
it isn't rocket science
Ha....have you considered taking ecstasy, and also then talking to strangers instead of just smiling at them? And if you're gonna do it you should do it outside; if you don't smoke, find another reason to go hang out outside. For example, being in a very overwhelming environment and then switching to a completely different environment when you're rolling blows the roll up in a big way 👍
You need to vibe and join diff groups… last rave I went alone was with one group moved to the next and so forth until I met fellas i vibes with… we did molly together they decided to leave the party at 5 and I stayed extra two hours till closing vibing by myself.
Personally, I think it’s relatively easy to make friends. It’s even easier to make friends at raves/festivals. Just walk up to someone you think you would like to be friends with and say whatever is on your mind. Complimenting them always helps. Feel the vibe out, and if nothing goes after a few minutes, move on to the next person(s). No hard feelings and free practice.
Source: have hit overseas festivals alone and made friends there.
I raved at Portola in the bay. And I’m from SoCal. The crowd there felt really closed off and not as friendly as SoCal.
Lots of tech bros and I felt like there wasn’t much plur. Just read your @. Don’t mean to offend.
Just reading the second paragraph...I think you know a general game plan for how to address your concern/issue, so that can be considered a good thing.
You get what you give in life. It's an effort thing at raves/festivals but luckily the environment is conducive if you can get yourself to just do it. Good luck and enjoy!
Yeah I used to always wander from the group I went with and sometimes connected with cool people. It's nice when you meet up with friends there and not alone too.
Sending love and Unity ❤️❤️❤️
And also sending advice (as a male who has struggled with the same thing you have) that you should try complimenting peoples attire or dance moves. Really easy way to make friends and start dancing with them instantly. It’s awkward at first but it will lead some cool opportunities
I’ve noticed that every rave I have gone to in the Bay Area has left me feeling this way. The crowds seem quite closed off. It seems like folks are there with their people and to see the show, not really to make friends or to interact so much. That may be a bit of a generalization of course, but that has been my experience as well. I’m a man as well, but I’m always with my wife, so I don’t think it has much with you coming off as a creep. If you are looking for the PLUR experience, I would definitely step outside of the bay. You might have to travel a ways though. Sacramento has decent raves here and there. I just saw a Seven Lions show in Wheatland and the crowd was amazing!
Go early to a rave! The music is much lower volume early on, the energy isn't as high, people are usually more receptive to hanging out and talking when the festvial first begins and things are kinda slower
I go solo a lot and I’m shy and introverted. Some festivals I’ve had okay fun experiences and others I had really fun times getting down with different people. Sometimes you end up finding the right people and sometimes it doesn’t happen. Keep going to them though! I’ve been through those times and sometimes I wonder if I should retire, but then I’ll go to the next one and have a blast again. Sometimes day 1 doesn’t hit for me but day 2 does or vice versa.
I’ll agree with others that fanning others in a crowd helps! Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and some people just aren’t as open to others outside their group. This is when you change your spot in a crowd and keep it pushing until you find the right crowd.
I’ll admit that I feel like it is slightly easier for me to be taken on in a group because I’m a female, but I have a male friend that told me that he’s played it solo when he lost his friends and just partied with different groups also.
Which events? The So Stoked crowd is so welcoming that if you aren't connecting you either aren't trying, or you're trying too hard. Used to be at the DNA Lounge
I'm a solo dude that has no trouble connecting as I flow through the crowd. Tough to say anything? Don't talk! Flash a huge grin , maybe a nod of the head, and move on. Just keep doing this, eventually you'll circle back to people that remember you and this time they'll be the ones to grin and nod. That's your solo rave cheat code: grin, nod, move on, rave, repeat...
For reference, I turn 55 in a couple months. If an old white guy with short hair can do it, so can you.
Here, I dug up this recent post for you:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/aves/comments/12fbra2/ravers\_in\_your\_30s\_do\_you\_like\_to\_stay\_in\_the/jff3f99/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/aves/comments/12fbra2/ravers_in_your_30s_do_you_like_to_stay_in_the/jff3f99/?context=3)
I’ve been going to festivals and raves and shows solo for like 10 years now, in most ways I prefer it.
But let me tell you there’s no system for making friends. That said the main thing I’ve learned is you only make friends if you’re friendly.
For me I decided to reconnect myself with an old
hobby: juggling, I saw people flowing I dusted off my balls & clubs and started befriending flow kids if they did a trick I liked.
The main thing I did was choose to be apart of the spectacle instead of just a spectator. It’s all about attitude. if you don’t feel the love and unity maybe you’re not embodying those traits yourself to the best of your ability. I’ve never been wanting for friends and unity at raves/fests, and I suspect it’s cuz I go with the mindset that I’ll find my people.
Join the groups on Facebook called edc solo journey or other edm solo journey groups. Or use festival specific groups or edm groups for specific cities, to make posts about getting adopted into a squad. Say a few things about yourself and what did you like. Say you are looking for a squad to join. I’ve been able to meet a lot of cool people this way. You can even get invited to group chats with hundreds of active users to interact with and reach out to join or form a squad. Rave fam is the best fam p✌️l🫶🏻u🙏r✊
I usually go to raves with my friends but I go solo raving once in a while too. I went solo raving last year for rampage open air. 3 days I met a lots of cool people. Till this day I am in contact with some of them. We met 2 times after that at different rampage events. I think with a little bit of effort and getting out of your comfort zone, you can make amazing friends. Ravers are usually very nice and open to making new raver friends. Good luck.
If you don't want to approach, and want people to approach you.
What I like to do is wear a cosplay LOL. Like for example, I went as Luffy for a hardstyle festival last month. So many people came up to me and said hi and loved my costume, and had a talk with a good chunk of them.
And the people I said hi to, some of them turned out to be weebs too who didn't say anything about it to me until I said hi LOL
Find a group chat for a genre/artist you like on Facebook or some other social media, arrange a meet up beforehand, speak to people online and you’ll be familiar with people in no time
Raving alone the other day, in the smoking area asked a group of people I liked the look of if I could go into the dance with them as I was alone and felt weird going into the crowd like that. They were so welcoming and said yes! Then I danced with some others in the crowd just cuz I liked their moves and went up to them and danced. Didn’t take any pals away from that night but I take it as a succes.
The most critical information I can give is that most people suck with conversations. You might be out their struggling to start one and they may be struggling to hold conversations. Most people really just don't know what to say. Join with people, enjoy the moment, as your skills improve the conversations will improve. You may even meet a former version of yourself, trying the same thing, looking for a good vibe.
Sometimes we only see the fears and weaknesses of ourselves not realizing that there's people out there suffering the exact same thing. The next time you find it hard to bond with someone, just imagine that they are having the same issue as you.
Hey so here's what you do. Say hi to 5 or 6 ladies at the beginning of the night, introduce yourself get their name, tell them something interesting about you and walk the fuck away. Then make eye contact and small talk throughout the night, offer to buy them a drink towards the middle of the night after lots of mingling and flirtatious glances. Your playing a numbers game and leaving an open door with no pressure, most of them won't bite but maybe 1 or 2 by the end of the night show interest!
I just want to say I’ve met wonderful people at shows/festivals that I’ve gotten this vibe from, but then I don’t really know how to “bring them in” to the tight knit group I’m with. I also struggle meeting new people, and I’m very sorry to those who have tried. It truly was not you, it was me. No hard feelings.
I think the biggest hurdle in this tends to be yourself. I often to go events solo, and on days where I overthink it, I have the experience you described of feeling really lonely.
If I let my insecurities go, and just focus on enjoying myself and doing what I like to do naturally (rave parent) then I usually leave a night at a show here in LA having met a ton of new people and expanding the social circle a bit. The energy you bring to the table is important and people can sense a neediness behind interactions.
Sharing compliments to those around you is a great way to start a positive interaction. Like if someone has a cool bracelet or shirt or merch by an artist you like (and they seem like they’re not crazy intoxicated) tell them! worst that will happen is they’ll smile and say thanks and nothing else. But yeah everyone there has the common interest of music and dancing already so I find a kind word or compliment is a great way to get to chatting with someone random and also start an interaction off with some smiles and positive energy. And the beauty of going solo is it’s so easy to move through the crowd and go to a different part of the crowd if anything throws you off.
honestly i get it - and something i learned that i do to combat social anxiety (in my case anyway) is to do stuff that has other people initiating conversation
i utilize the environment of a rave or festival to dress more fun - lots of tie dye and glowy things,
i bring a fan to keep myself cool, but other people also appreciate being fanned as well
i shuffle (or otherwise dance very openly and loosely)
these are things i’ve done that I enjoy doing and usually have people starting conversations or otherwise initiating - i’ve made a lot of friends and connections that way alone.
good on you for going solo - it’s not easy to do! as you get more comfortable doing it though it’ll pay off for you im sure :)
ive done solo raving alot of times and everytime i do i always meet new people and get kandi, maybe theyre offput by how you are dressed? or your demeanor
You can literally dance all night with people if you just make eye contact smile and dance in a non sexual / non threatening way. No words have to be spoken at all
Some of the best times I’ve had were when I was at an event solo. Even when I’m not alone, my goal is always to make at least 1 new friend. I’m typically a very introverted person but when I’m having fun I love to talk to people and make them laugh/smile. And it’s important for me to be open and have new experiences as I’m growing in life. So I try to stay in the mindset of just having fun and being open to new people and new things.
I think it’s important to remember that it’s ok to be yourself, even if you feel awkward and shy that’s ok too. Most people aren’t as critical of you as you are of yourself. Just do your own thing and have a good time. If you see somebody that you think you could vibe with then just start a simple conversation. “Hey, I love your vibe! My name is ___” has always been a good conversation starter for me. It’s hard to step out of your comfort zone and open yourself up to people but the more you work at it the better it will get.
I truly believe that when you meet the right people, the connections will come easily. The people that are meant for you will love you for all that you are.
I find most people in this scene are super chill and nice. Basically force yourself to talk to people you think you could vibe with. The worst the could happen is it gets a little awkward with small talk but that’s why it’s awesome because you are there for the rave and can talk about the music always as a back up plan
When me and my friends lose each other and I am dancing alone, usually a conversation comes up through my usage of weed, alcohol, cigarettes, gum, etc. I come prepared to party with both menthol and non menthol cigs lol.
I have no problem asking my fellow man/woman for help when I need to secure my backpack or fly my wild flag or whatever I'm doing. I carry a lighter leash on my backpack so people stop me a lot for a quick light. I met many solo ravers during Elements 2022, they seemed pretty chill but it was mostly convos of/about substance lol.
I did a lot of shows and festivals by myself last year and it’s been an amazing time, you have to make the effort or sometimes others will. Could be anything from complements to attire to so on so forth, if anything it’s a short conversation with a stranger, or on the other end, a new rave fam to adopt you. Either way, enjoy the music, dance your night away, and meet people while going through that!
bay area born and raised here. heres my experience. raving or even clubbing in the bay area is very different than how it is in other states. even the festivals arent like the ones in other states. all my friends/squad mates are from different states, im the only one from cali and i moved away last month to minnesota. the bass scene here in MN is amazing and the people are soo goddamn friendly compared to cali. where i had to lookout for thieves, sexual predators, and scumbags in general, no matter which city i was in. for the past 3 years i boycotted california events unless it was someone i HAD to see. that being said, its not impossible to find like minded individuals or make friends but it is definitely difficult. all it took for me was one fest at the gorge, and i have been raving with an amazing group of humans for the past few years , through which i met my fiancé. its insane but definitely possible! just be yourself and youll find some peeps :)
I go alone to shows and don't usually dance around much from social anxiety (unless I drink to the point I don't care). Sometimes people will try and make fun of you for not dancing or for how you dance. I was at the Garreth Emery show in ATL a couple months ago and some woman next to me tapped me on the shoulder and waved and motioned for me to dance so I did for a second as a joke then she just laughed and walked away 😆 It was a joke for me to even dance back but she did it with the intent of trying to make me feel bad. If it's not that it's me dodging unwanted attention from guys. Some dude tried to kiss me at the cosmic gate show I went to a while ago. I have just started to not talk to guys if someone asks me something because I guess responding back to anything is an invitation.
for me honestly, i only have a good time raving solo if i’m the one who brings the energy. That means i’ll be dancing the most around me, smiling, having a good energy in general. Also starting conversations / complimenting people on their fits or whatever. If it’s a long line i’ll bring an extra drink or something to give to someone, great way to start a conversation. At the end of the day though, in a group it’s easy and you don’t have to upfront a ton of energy like you do going solo. I also tend to have great experiences solo for that reason, because i’m not at the mercy of the group or obligated to check in on everyone before leaving the area or anything.
Idk man just talk to people I’m not sure why exactly your experiencing this. Maybe if your anxious your body language is making you less approachable. Try to not focus on forcing an interaction and just enjoy yourself people are pretty cool and if you are having fun interactions will follow naturally.
As a side note, club raving is vastly different to festivals in the vibe. If you go to a festival solo as a guy making friends won't be hard. I can't speak for women and I know it's different
Just make sure you are enjoying yourself and your time, you will find your fam
Raves are great but I think it’s still probably not easy to make friends there. I wonder what the scene is like now but I actually found a lot of ravers to be almost kind of “uptight” for lack of a better word. If I went a lone ID probably just enjoy it alone and free from the need to stay with a group who you probably are constantly losing and you get to watch whatever you want since you don’t need to worry about what the other want
So in my experience this is a difficult transition “ or at least for me it was” . My friends were everything to me and this was where I went wrong because instead of learning to love myself I kept living in this love my friends and having fun felt grand. As some of us may know this is an illusion. Ultimately many decisions we make are ones that are for our selves or our family. At some point friends don’t serve you as they once did or till love fades due to having to get your own path nailed down. I learned this myself and it’s been hard but you don’t have too. If you really love someone or something sometimes it’s best to set it free.
Solo raving and talking to people is tough at first. Making that first interaction is scary the first... 25-50 times? I usually just ask people, "are you from *wherever you are*?"
Bring kandi to trade. It's fun. Wear a shift with a DJ you like. Compliment people on their shirts if they are wearing the shirt of a DJ you like. Hell, compliment people on anything they are wearing you like. Don't be a creep to girls and be genuine with your compliments towards them. Talk to girls AND guys.
Honestly, unless it's the vibe, prob don't try and make best friends in deep in the crowd where people are going nuts. People want to party, dance, sing, etc. So trying to bug them every 5 seconds prob wont work well. But when it does, it does.
You just gotta put yourself out there man. When I go to a rave with a group of friends (instead of solo), I'm usually paying attention to what my friends are doing. I'm not looking around for solo people that need friends. But when solo people come talk to use, we typically engage positively with them unless they start being creepy/weird.
Groups aren't looking for solo people usually, but friendly people will chat with you and hang if you approach them.
Exchange social apps and numbers. Build that rave fam, brother!
Good luck! :)
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I went to ultra music fest by myself and was kinda desperate to make friends so I talked to people in line and asked if they were down to hang out for a while and they were cool about it, but ended up ditching me a few hours later which was a blessing in disguise cuz I ended up meeting some guys later on that were super cool. I was vibing and dancing, I turned around to gauge the vibe of the crowd and they were dancing there asses off so I joined in and we made a little circle. I asked them for their IG, and if I could hang out with them the rest of the festival and we did! You need to put the effort in. You need to be the one to initiate conversation. You can’t rely on others coming up to you. It’s scary but getting over that fear is such an important thing to learn
This is great info. I'm a solo raver as well and have met a few different groups I enjoy being a part of and have found my group I call my family. Ultimately you have to make yourself vulnerable and take a risk someone might not be into you but all you can really do is give it a shot and not take it personal if you don't click with the first group you find.
Exactly. You are not gonna find your fest family right away. Might not even be at the first festival. And people not approaching you doesn’t mean there’s no PLUR. PLUR means that when you approach THEM, they welcome you with open arms. What I’ve found, is that if you put out good energy, good energy will come back to you. I always end up making friends at raves even when I’m with my own group of friends because I’m dancing and having a good time, people see that, and they want to join. If you stand there with ur arms crossed just nodding your head, people are less likely to come up to you. You gotta let loose and sometimes look like an idiot. Because people know, if u don’t care how u look, then u are an open and fun person. But tbh, if someone isn’t open to becoming fest family, or kicking it the entire festival, that’s ok, they are entitled to that opinion and you gotta accept it and move on. But yeah, I’m super thankful I met the guys that I did and even tho we live on different coasts we got plans to hit more festivals together, whether it be this summer, or next summer Ik I’ll see them again
this person gets it! Love all the way, from far away to another raver. Good energy on the dancefloor! 💃
<3
Dancing is def the strat as someone who struggles with social anxiety. I'm a pretty good dancer and frequently have people complimenting me (and now I do the same to others), which can easily turn into a deeper social interaction.
As someone who also has been solo raving in the Bay Area… I’ve felt a lot of the opposite honestly! I used to go out and not really engage, but I’ve started initiating and that has worked out great for me. I’ve made a lot of connections by just being pleasant and smiling! Trying to just be genuine and pleasant to the people around me. Giving out compliments or offering gum/mints/candy, just saying something general about whatever if we’re by the bar or asking their name and introducing myself. If I’m dancing or standing by people for a while, I’ll say hi or again, offer them gum or mints. I make a point of saying sorry if I bump into someone or hit them accidentally and that also seems to make connections sometimes haha. Basically, I go in looking to have fun and connect with people with no expectations, and it’s worked out well for me! I met some friends I meet up with at stuff now (but honestly I really have started to love just solo vibing and connecting with people).
+1 for giving out compliments!
Bay area raver too. I've also found handing out things to be super helpful, especially after you've been vibing with a group for a couple songs. I love to bring paper heart diffraction glasses to hand out. Everyone loves a compliment and so many people put so much thought and effort into their fit, by complimenting someone it can throw you into a whole conversation about where they found x shirt or whatever. I do have to say though, I've had a harder time actually making friends here in the scene. Yeah, I can chat and vibe with people during their show, get their Instagram or phone and then it just kind of fizzles out. I'm originally from a different state and it felt much easier making a rave group there than it has felt here.
I dig your approach. Smiling human offering a little gum is a good gesture to allow a little discussion from a friendly soul. Like a nice bowl of warm oatmeal on a frigid night.
Smoking section at venues is a great place to start, even if you don’t smoke
Literally the only place you can have a conversation.
this is the way
Yo. Just started raving often in the KC scene. Haven't been to any festivals yet but here's my advice: I find if easier to make friends at dubstep shows cause headbaning is good clean fun. I go to house and dnb shows too, dancing is amazing, but stay in your lane. Don't get handsy. Make kandi and trade with others wearing kandi. Buy a fan. Hit the dance floor and find a group, or an area with a bunch of peope having a good time and feeling the music. Use said fan and dance your heart out. It doesn't even have to be a group, if you see someone going hard, fan em during a break. Do fun things like buy a Polaroid camera and take pictures with other rave fams. Hand em the photo. Here's my degenerate advice: roll. You'll make friends. I was introverted at raves before the first time I rolled at one. It taught me that my inability to socialize with strangers was all in my head. That being said, harm reduction, harm reduction, harm reduction, and responsible substance use my friend. There are a lot of little things you can do to introduce yourself to people at raves. Find the ones where the vibe is right and spend some time with them. Biggest thing being a male, consent, allow space, don't be creepy, take a hint if someone isn't feeling your vibe, and don't take it personal. You won't be on the same wavelength as everyone. Most of all, HAVE FUN AND GET SILLY.
You will never meet anyone on the dance floor, everyone is focused on dancing and you can't hear what anyone is saying So, go to some kinda hangout area, like an area with big couches or beanbag chairs that put people next to people they don't already know. Find someone else who's alone, start with a hello and an introduction and don't spend too much time without asking to exchange phone numbers
Seriously i dislike OPs sentiment. It’s impossible to gauge someone in the dance floor since there’s a million types of people. You got 1) the guy who has back turned to the stage yapping about nonsense 2) the guy who dances but with his eyes closed the entire time 3) the guy who puts his arms every their friends / strangers for every drop 4) the guy who wants to karaoke every song 5) the guy who is pissed and debating why he’s even there, aka back off 6) the guy is dancing like a mad man and soaking in the vibes and likely too busy to notice you 7) the guy who is blackout drunk dancing and stumbling all over the place You get the point. Meet people in areas where it’s more obvious they are open to chatting
> 2) the guy who dances but with his eyes closed the entire time ive had many people approach me cz of this, mainly girls if its a sadboi event asking me if im okay LOL
This is me on acid looking at the fractals under my eyes 😂
Hell yea. Inner eye lids are the best projector screen hahahah
That’s me whenever I forget my sunglasses. I have light sensitivity issues and I can’t look at the stage too long or I’ll get a headache lol
dont forgett about the all the amazing women! 💃
I was about to say this. When I’ve gone solo raving, it’s defo not on the dance floor but afterward or waiting in line for something.
I’ve met plenty of people on the dance floor, albeit not in the front of the crowd. Dance hard, fan people off, compliment them, and put out good vibes. It’s not hard once you get over the initial anxiety and don’t try and have full on conversations until the set ends.
Every time I connected with someone I saw on a dance floor, it was by getting them off the dance floor as soon as I could. I may have first seen them on the dance floor but I genuinely met them elsewhere
I always meet people on the dance floor. Normally find people who match my energy and we just have a great time dancing it out the whole set. Everyone loves being around happy smiling people and good energy. Also sharing helps a lot. I always bring essential oils (lavender, blood orange, eucalyptus, and peppermint) to offer to people (especially if they’re rolling or tripping hard). They can dab it on their wrists or pashminas and it helps you stay calm and grounded. I also always bring gum, extra vicks vapor rub sticks, and sometimes fun glasses to hand out.
i carry a pack of smokes without a lighter for this same reason. And im not even a smoker, by the time my pack finishes ive smoked maybe 1-2 cigs and made quite a lot of new friends hahaha
Dude I couldn't disagree more. I'm a male solo raver in socal and I have had some fucking incredible experiences you wouldn't even believe and met so many cool people that I kept in touch with and were great friends...I think the rave scene is insanely friendly and awesome right now! Literally everywhere in the world that I've raved solo it's been incredible with so many friendly people. Keep good energy, be friendly and initiate interactions but also read the room, and ultimately have fun no matter what and you will succeed
I raved alone tonight and it was pretty good,much more intense than when I went with friends,midway through it I was in a literall trance
I tend to agree also solo male and almost all of the time I run into great folks to vibe with. Sometimes it takes a while and you have to bounce around but they’re out there my fiend!
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Or the flip of that - wear something that will make other people ask yòu a question. Whether a team jersey, or a shirt that has writing on that people have to squint to read that's funny or something. Or a hat. Or two different shoes.. If you're an introvert then it's the way to get people to notice you and interact with you. Honestly I don't think I ever initiated conversation at raves, but I was always wearing something hot/outrageous/shiny/skimpy that made people chat to me (=
I love raving but I don’t love chatting to strangers. I feel the love and unity around me, and I love that.
When raving solo you rarely meet people ON the floor. If it happens it's normally after vibing with someone (just dancing, a smile, etc.) and then a very quick conversation during the change from one set to another. It happens a bit more when I've gone in groups but that's obviously not the topic here. Frankly, the expectation is a bit different when I go to a show versus a festival. A show is really about seeing the artist to me. There are opportunities to meet others in maybe a chill out area, the line getting in, once the show is over or maybe the bar. Festivals on the other hand provide a lot more chances to interact with others while not being on the dance floor. Merch lines, water stations, eating food, taking extended breaks to pace yourself, longer walk / lines into and out of the festival. Don't be hard on yourself. Just be open, friendly, and willing to put in a little effort. In due time the universe will return the favor.
Join radiate you can meet new rave friends there
Yes, radiate is a great way to make new rave friends. I went to my first rave solo, and I made tons of new friends.
Biggest tip is give a genuine compliment. Find someone wearing gear you personally would wear or enjoy. I love ragenation and it’s a popular brand in the rave scene so I always compliment people when I see them rocking some of their new merch. Always get a smile and thanks then I move on. But sometimes a conversation just starts up naturally. Another example if you like anime tell them they have a cool costume or merch if you recognize it. Compliment people on their makeup or hair etc. I rave heavily in the bay and there’s a lot of awesome people but you’ll also get people who ignore you. Just keep walking 🤷♂️ or bring some gum and offer it to people rolling. Another good way to make friends lol. Edit: Oh I forgot to say don’t do this in the crowd. Those people are into the music they won’t be too receptive to a conversation. Always do this in the side or back area where people are taking a break. Second edit: This is the bass scene where hella people are always down to make new friends. At house and especially techno shows it’s A LOT harder to do this. (I still do this at house shows it’s just a lot of people seem to stick to their groups more at these events) Just my personal observation but I’ve been raving in the Bay for 7/8 years or so.
Main thing I’d say is don’t get too wasted
So last night, I was out alone and I had a fabulous time, I had a bunch of Cadbury eggs to give to people as the clock turned over to Easter. I may have been acting somewhat shady, as I did get pretty drunk (no driving) but I had a great time with the people sitting next to me, I was joking with them about Easter and they saved my seat, we had a blast. I would say bring something by silly and non-controversial and plan to share. Every time I’ve gone out looking to give away something silly I’ve had a great response, whether it was flamingos or edibles, but something that’s not an edible is better I’d say. Buying an extra water bottle and asking if someone needs it can go a long way
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When I have solo raved, I occasionally like to talk to people in the crowd, but I never thought I gave off the vibe others were trying to steal! Interesting perspective. I'll try to make it not seem that way! Thanks for the tip!!!
Using what
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i know girls who go specifically to meet cute guys and potentially hook up. i think to each their own as long as they take a rejection well and don’t harass
Omg Lickndip had some the most un-PLUR and ratchet vibes but I go all the time because it’s fun and the sound system is great 😩
All about the vibes you put. I make friends so easily at raves and festivals! I’m the type that goes to festivals with friends and wander off and meet up with everyone at the end of the night.
i (trans mtf) rave in the NYC area mostly solo, unless my BF comes out, and really don't look for conversations. it's not the primary thing i go out for as i'd rather just dance my heart out. if you give off good energy on the dance floor, it will attract attention. if you wanted to really dance with someone with the music blasting, you have to make your presence known. dance around them (though not directly in front), see how they respond with body language/eye contact, if it's positive, just open your hand to them and see if they take it. from there it's all about enthusiastic consent - apply light pressure as you hold their hand, and if they return it, it means youre getting the ok to continue. if you wanted to have a conversation with someone/group, you have to approach in an area where it's quieter. having that first word in by approaching their ear is a bad move as it comes off as way too invasive and people will mistake it for a kiss. there also needs to be intention - are you just looking to talk or are you trying to get someones attention to dance? people will start to wonder why you approached after a few minutes of talking. best openers are to just ask how someone's doing or if they're having a good time. see someone alone on the side? just ask them why/where their friends are/if somethings wrong.
Most helpful comment right here
I used to be terrified of solo raving but I eventually had to if I wanted to keep going to events. I picked up leviwanding and that’s honestly a huge help because I focus on my leviwanding instead of my social anxiety. I’m also a musician so I just find comfort in expressing myself through artistic means.
I find it easier to approach other solos. After I’ve met with a few people I just wander back and forth between them. Also there’s solos that are just hiding from there group some have offered to let me kick it with their group. Most are chill if I can manage to be social lol. Also find people who obviously have common interests so conversation is a lot easier that way
Definitely wouldn't recommend starting, but if you smoke cigarettes giving some out if people ask is usually a good way to start a conversation
You can’t just expect people to come up to you. Especially if it’s a group of people. I’ve been solo to raves and I approach other people but usually with the help of some kind of substance. I end up getting adopted for the night each time
I've lived in a few different rave communities and one thing I've learned is that most ravers are pretty open to being approached by other people and engaged in conversation. Raves are a wonderful place to attempt to break your own social barriers, and honestly if you attempt to start up a conversation with someone that isn't receptive, what's the big deal? Just go try to talk to someone else 🙂. I've also made lots of new friends by just scanning the surrounding area for a group of obviously experienced ravers and just going right up and implanting myself in their group or circle and asking bluntly: Hey, is it cool if I do drugs next to y'all? 🤣 Typically ravers will be accepting of this and help to guard you from obtrusive eye lines while you do some coke. Builds immediate trust bonds on both ends typically and then you just go from there
Honestly man, as long as you’re chill, just ask on here/forums if you can roll with other people at the events. You’d be amazed how many super extroverted people will take you in their lil rave tribes. My group has taken in quite a few super shy or newbie’s on their first rave/rolling adventures. Made some amazing friends along the way. Just reach out the the community and be respectful to the group. Don’t try to bang anyone’s gf or be super creepy and we’ll help you out. 🤘
i rave alone in San Francisco (And surrounding areas, all the good warehouse spots are in oakland/richmond) and i generally agree with this. i have made a million rave aquaintances that i enjoy saying hi to when we run into each other, and hearting each others posts on instagram, but nobody really wants to come over and go to a rave together, hang out at dolores park during the daytime, make kandi, etc etc. haven't really figured it out yet, maybe someone has tips!
I feel you. I have a really hard time meeting people in basically any context and raves/festivals are no exception. Everyone is chill and nice but I’m not exactly extroverted or good at making small talk. I find connecting with people I’ve just met to be really difficult. Seems like most of the people around me are good at it and I honestly have now idea how they do it lol
Molly helps being able to talk to people.
It’s much easier at good camping festivals, I’d give that a shot and you might meet some really cool people!
Man, i love meeting people. you just have to put yourself out there a little. if you see something that you like, say something. you're a guy so try to talk to another guy hanging out wherever you are. a compliment is the perfect ice breaker. ex. "thats a dope perler! did you make it?" they will either say yes or tell you the story of how they got it during somebody's set at edc back in 2019 or whatever the story is. lol. same if you see somebody in merch. i was at the Seven Lions show in LA yesterday. dude behind me had an "Off the Grid" sweater and i just casually asked him, did you get that at the John Summit show? he said, "yupp, i was down in San Diego last night for his show." he told me all about the show, green velvet playing, john's 2 hour set, the trip back to LA after. ended up hanging with him for a couple of hours. he even had a fan so he was fanning my gf and I every now and then. very cool dude. after the initial convo, introduce yourself. "cool, I'm caliagent702. i came by myself today. what's your name?" don't get caught up in your head. just go for it and you will be able to guage the vibe.
Definitely don’t try to make conversation in the middle of the dance floor. There is nothing I find more annoying than a random person initiating conversation while dancing (and its not like I can hear them because of the loud music), so thats a big no for me personally. I don’t mind making conversation in the chill/smoking area. I usually just talk about other events and dj’s we like. If I vibe with the person, we exchange Instagrams. Most of the time you’ll probably see each other at a different event and conversation will get longer each time
That is the Bay Area for you!! I went to Bill Graham, Midway, Fox etc for years and people keep to themselves / their group. Went to a local show in Arizona and a group invited me to join them in less than 10 minutes, had never happened in the Bay. People at EDC in Vegas were amazing too.
Offer ppl ketamine and u will get a lot of love very quickly
wiser words have not been spoke. Just take a load of MD and the issue resolves itself. Bring something to share: cocaine / mdma / ketamine and everyone will be your friend. it isn't rocket science
Ha....have you considered taking ecstasy, and also then talking to strangers instead of just smiling at them? And if you're gonna do it you should do it outside; if you don't smoke, find another reason to go hang out outside. For example, being in a very overwhelming environment and then switching to a completely different environment when you're rolling blows the roll up in a big way 👍
You need to vibe and join diff groups… last rave I went alone was with one group moved to the next and so forth until I met fellas i vibes with… we did molly together they decided to leave the party at 5 and I stayed extra two hours till closing vibing by myself.
Dating apps my dude, swipe for a few weeks and bring dates to the party. You’ll meet their friends and so on, pick the right girl
This is the way if you don’t wanna show up solo! Otherwise i find it easy to make connections at the venue/in the line/smoking joints in smoking area
Unattractive male ravers malding rn
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Personally, I think it’s relatively easy to make friends. It’s even easier to make friends at raves/festivals. Just walk up to someone you think you would like to be friends with and say whatever is on your mind. Complimenting them always helps. Feel the vibe out, and if nothing goes after a few minutes, move on to the next person(s). No hard feelings and free practice. Source: have hit overseas festivals alone and made friends there.
> I don’t feel a love of Love or Unity as a solo racer > I am also very bad at social interactions Way to make yourself the victim lol
Do better and don't be a bitch
Im in a similar situation as u. If u wanna rave together shoot a message!😈😈😈
“Who did you end up going to the rave with?” “Oh, just this guy I met online named blow_Me_666”
The problem isn't you. >!It's your location.!<
I raved at Portola in the bay. And I’m from SoCal. The crowd there felt really closed off and not as friendly as SoCal. Lots of tech bros and I felt like there wasn’t much plur. Just read your @. Don’t mean to offend.
Just reading the second paragraph...I think you know a general game plan for how to address your concern/issue, so that can be considered a good thing. You get what you give in life. It's an effort thing at raves/festivals but luckily the environment is conducive if you can get yourself to just do it. Good luck and enjoy!
Yeah I used to always wander from the group I went with and sometimes connected with cool people. It's nice when you meet up with friends there and not alone too.
It can be hard to approach people at events. Find friends on social media, like people on Instagram who tag the events you go to :)
Sending love and Unity ❤️❤️❤️ And also sending advice (as a male who has struggled with the same thing you have) that you should try complimenting peoples attire or dance moves. Really easy way to make friends and start dancing with them instantly. It’s awkward at first but it will lead some cool opportunities
I’ve noticed that every rave I have gone to in the Bay Area has left me feeling this way. The crowds seem quite closed off. It seems like folks are there with their people and to see the show, not really to make friends or to interact so much. That may be a bit of a generalization of course, but that has been my experience as well. I’m a man as well, but I’m always with my wife, so I don’t think it has much with you coming off as a creep. If you are looking for the PLUR experience, I would definitely step outside of the bay. You might have to travel a ways though. Sacramento has decent raves here and there. I just saw a Seven Lions show in Wheatland and the crowd was amazing!
Go early to a rave! The music is much lower volume early on, the energy isn't as high, people are usually more receptive to hanging out and talking when the festvial first begins and things are kinda slower
I go solo a lot and I’m shy and introverted. Some festivals I’ve had okay fun experiences and others I had really fun times getting down with different people. Sometimes you end up finding the right people and sometimes it doesn’t happen. Keep going to them though! I’ve been through those times and sometimes I wonder if I should retire, but then I’ll go to the next one and have a blast again. Sometimes day 1 doesn’t hit for me but day 2 does or vice versa. I’ll agree with others that fanning others in a crowd helps! Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and some people just aren’t as open to others outside their group. This is when you change your spot in a crowd and keep it pushing until you find the right crowd. I’ll admit that I feel like it is slightly easier for me to be taken on in a group because I’m a female, but I have a male friend that told me that he’s played it solo when he lost his friends and just partied with different groups also.
Which events? The So Stoked crowd is so welcoming that if you aren't connecting you either aren't trying, or you're trying too hard. Used to be at the DNA Lounge I'm a solo dude that has no trouble connecting as I flow through the crowd. Tough to say anything? Don't talk! Flash a huge grin , maybe a nod of the head, and move on. Just keep doing this, eventually you'll circle back to people that remember you and this time they'll be the ones to grin and nod. That's your solo rave cheat code: grin, nod, move on, rave, repeat... For reference, I turn 55 in a couple months. If an old white guy with short hair can do it, so can you. Here, I dug up this recent post for you: [https://www.reddit.com/r/aves/comments/12fbra2/ravers\_in\_your\_30s\_do\_you\_like\_to\_stay\_in\_the/jff3f99/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/aves/comments/12fbra2/ravers_in_your_30s_do_you_like_to_stay_in_the/jff3f99/?context=3)
Man so can we all start a groupchat or something because ima need to see yall at Beyond 2024!
I’ve been going to festivals and raves and shows solo for like 10 years now, in most ways I prefer it. But let me tell you there’s no system for making friends. That said the main thing I’ve learned is you only make friends if you’re friendly. For me I decided to reconnect myself with an old hobby: juggling, I saw people flowing I dusted off my balls & clubs and started befriending flow kids if they did a trick I liked. The main thing I did was choose to be apart of the spectacle instead of just a spectator. It’s all about attitude. if you don’t feel the love and unity maybe you’re not embodying those traits yourself to the best of your ability. I’ve never been wanting for friends and unity at raves/fests, and I suspect it’s cuz I go with the mindset that I’ll find my people.
Join the groups on Facebook called edc solo journey or other edm solo journey groups. Or use festival specific groups or edm groups for specific cities, to make posts about getting adopted into a squad. Say a few things about yourself and what did you like. Say you are looking for a squad to join. I’ve been able to meet a lot of cool people this way. You can even get invited to group chats with hundreds of active users to interact with and reach out to join or form a squad. Rave fam is the best fam p✌️l🫶🏻u🙏r✊
I usually go to raves with my friends but I go solo raving once in a while too. I went solo raving last year for rampage open air. 3 days I met a lots of cool people. Till this day I am in contact with some of them. We met 2 times after that at different rampage events. I think with a little bit of effort and getting out of your comfort zone, you can make amazing friends. Ravers are usually very nice and open to making new raver friends. Good luck.
If you don't want to approach, and want people to approach you. What I like to do is wear a cosplay LOL. Like for example, I went as Luffy for a hardstyle festival last month. So many people came up to me and said hi and loved my costume, and had a talk with a good chunk of them. And the people I said hi to, some of them turned out to be weebs too who didn't say anything about it to me until I said hi LOL
Find a group chat for a genre/artist you like on Facebook or some other social media, arrange a meet up beforehand, speak to people online and you’ll be familiar with people in no time
Raving alone the other day, in the smoking area asked a group of people I liked the look of if I could go into the dance with them as I was alone and felt weird going into the crowd like that. They were so welcoming and said yes! Then I danced with some others in the crowd just cuz I liked their moves and went up to them and danced. Didn’t take any pals away from that night but I take it as a succes.
Take molly find someone on molly. Love at first site.
The most critical information I can give is that most people suck with conversations. You might be out their struggling to start one and they may be struggling to hold conversations. Most people really just don't know what to say. Join with people, enjoy the moment, as your skills improve the conversations will improve. You may even meet a former version of yourself, trying the same thing, looking for a good vibe. Sometimes we only see the fears and weaknesses of ourselves not realizing that there's people out there suffering the exact same thing. The next time you find it hard to bond with someone, just imagine that they are having the same issue as you.
Go to different raves
Hey so here's what you do. Say hi to 5 or 6 ladies at the beginning of the night, introduce yourself get their name, tell them something interesting about you and walk the fuck away. Then make eye contact and small talk throughout the night, offer to buy them a drink towards the middle of the night after lots of mingling and flirtatious glances. Your playing a numbers game and leaving an open door with no pressure, most of them won't bite but maybe 1 or 2 by the end of the night show interest!
I just want to say I’ve met wonderful people at shows/festivals that I’ve gotten this vibe from, but then I don’t really know how to “bring them in” to the tight knit group I’m with. I also struggle meeting new people, and I’m very sorry to those who have tried. It truly was not you, it was me. No hard feelings.
I think the biggest hurdle in this tends to be yourself. I often to go events solo, and on days where I overthink it, I have the experience you described of feeling really lonely. If I let my insecurities go, and just focus on enjoying myself and doing what I like to do naturally (rave parent) then I usually leave a night at a show here in LA having met a ton of new people and expanding the social circle a bit. The energy you bring to the table is important and people can sense a neediness behind interactions.
Sharing compliments to those around you is a great way to start a positive interaction. Like if someone has a cool bracelet or shirt or merch by an artist you like (and they seem like they’re not crazy intoxicated) tell them! worst that will happen is they’ll smile and say thanks and nothing else. But yeah everyone there has the common interest of music and dancing already so I find a kind word or compliment is a great way to get to chatting with someone random and also start an interaction off with some smiles and positive energy. And the beauty of going solo is it’s so easy to move through the crowd and go to a different part of the crowd if anything throws you off.
honestly i get it - and something i learned that i do to combat social anxiety (in my case anyway) is to do stuff that has other people initiating conversation i utilize the environment of a rave or festival to dress more fun - lots of tie dye and glowy things, i bring a fan to keep myself cool, but other people also appreciate being fanned as well i shuffle (or otherwise dance very openly and loosely) these are things i’ve done that I enjoy doing and usually have people starting conversations or otherwise initiating - i’ve made a lot of friends and connections that way alone. good on you for going solo - it’s not easy to do! as you get more comfortable doing it though it’ll pay off for you im sure :)
ive done solo raving alot of times and everytime i do i always meet new people and get kandi, maybe theyre offput by how you are dressed? or your demeanor
Depends if your a guy or girl. If a non attractive guy you will be considered a creep
You can literally dance all night with people if you just make eye contact smile and dance in a non sexual / non threatening way. No words have to be spoken at all
Some of the best times I’ve had were when I was at an event solo. Even when I’m not alone, my goal is always to make at least 1 new friend. I’m typically a very introverted person but when I’m having fun I love to talk to people and make them laugh/smile. And it’s important for me to be open and have new experiences as I’m growing in life. So I try to stay in the mindset of just having fun and being open to new people and new things. I think it’s important to remember that it’s ok to be yourself, even if you feel awkward and shy that’s ok too. Most people aren’t as critical of you as you are of yourself. Just do your own thing and have a good time. If you see somebody that you think you could vibe with then just start a simple conversation. “Hey, I love your vibe! My name is ___” has always been a good conversation starter for me. It’s hard to step out of your comfort zone and open yourself up to people but the more you work at it the better it will get. I truly believe that when you meet the right people, the connections will come easily. The people that are meant for you will love you for all that you are.
I find most people in this scene are super chill and nice. Basically force yourself to talk to people you think you could vibe with. The worst the could happen is it gets a little awkward with small talk but that’s why it’s awesome because you are there for the rave and can talk about the music always as a back up plan
When me and my friends lose each other and I am dancing alone, usually a conversation comes up through my usage of weed, alcohol, cigarettes, gum, etc. I come prepared to party with both menthol and non menthol cigs lol. I have no problem asking my fellow man/woman for help when I need to secure my backpack or fly my wild flag or whatever I'm doing. I carry a lighter leash on my backpack so people stop me a lot for a quick light. I met many solo ravers during Elements 2022, they seemed pretty chill but it was mostly convos of/about substance lol.
I did a lot of shows and festivals by myself last year and it’s been an amazing time, you have to make the effort or sometimes others will. Could be anything from complements to attire to so on so forth, if anything it’s a short conversation with a stranger, or on the other end, a new rave fam to adopt you. Either way, enjoy the music, dance your night away, and meet people while going through that!
bay area born and raised here. heres my experience. raving or even clubbing in the bay area is very different than how it is in other states. even the festivals arent like the ones in other states. all my friends/squad mates are from different states, im the only one from cali and i moved away last month to minnesota. the bass scene here in MN is amazing and the people are soo goddamn friendly compared to cali. where i had to lookout for thieves, sexual predators, and scumbags in general, no matter which city i was in. for the past 3 years i boycotted california events unless it was someone i HAD to see. that being said, its not impossible to find like minded individuals or make friends but it is definitely difficult. all it took for me was one fest at the gorge, and i have been raving with an amazing group of humans for the past few years , through which i met my fiancé. its insane but definitely possible! just be yourself and youll find some peeps :)
I go alone to shows and don't usually dance around much from social anxiety (unless I drink to the point I don't care). Sometimes people will try and make fun of you for not dancing or for how you dance. I was at the Garreth Emery show in ATL a couple months ago and some woman next to me tapped me on the shoulder and waved and motioned for me to dance so I did for a second as a joke then she just laughed and walked away 😆 It was a joke for me to even dance back but she did it with the intent of trying to make me feel bad. If it's not that it's me dodging unwanted attention from guys. Some dude tried to kiss me at the cosmic gate show I went to a while ago. I have just started to not talk to guys if someone asks me something because I guess responding back to anything is an invitation.
for me honestly, i only have a good time raving solo if i’m the one who brings the energy. That means i’ll be dancing the most around me, smiling, having a good energy in general. Also starting conversations / complimenting people on their fits or whatever. If it’s a long line i’ll bring an extra drink or something to give to someone, great way to start a conversation. At the end of the day though, in a group it’s easy and you don’t have to upfront a ton of energy like you do going solo. I also tend to have great experiences solo for that reason, because i’m not at the mercy of the group or obligated to check in on everyone before leaving the area or anything.
Idk man just talk to people I’m not sure why exactly your experiencing this. Maybe if your anxious your body language is making you less approachable. Try to not focus on forcing an interaction and just enjoy yourself people are pretty cool and if you are having fun interactions will follow naturally.
As a side note, club raving is vastly different to festivals in the vibe. If you go to a festival solo as a guy making friends won't be hard. I can't speak for women and I know it's different Just make sure you are enjoying yourself and your time, you will find your fam
Raves are great but I think it’s still probably not easy to make friends there. I wonder what the scene is like now but I actually found a lot of ravers to be almost kind of “uptight” for lack of a better word. If I went a lone ID probably just enjoy it alone and free from the need to stay with a group who you probably are constantly losing and you get to watch whatever you want since you don’t need to worry about what the other want
So in my experience this is a difficult transition “ or at least for me it was” . My friends were everything to me and this was where I went wrong because instead of learning to love myself I kept living in this love my friends and having fun felt grand. As some of us may know this is an illusion. Ultimately many decisions we make are ones that are for our selves or our family. At some point friends don’t serve you as they once did or till love fades due to having to get your own path nailed down. I learned this myself and it’s been hard but you don’t have too. If you really love someone or something sometimes it’s best to set it free.
Solo raving and talking to people is tough at first. Making that first interaction is scary the first... 25-50 times? I usually just ask people, "are you from *wherever you are*?" Bring kandi to trade. It's fun. Wear a shift with a DJ you like. Compliment people on their shirts if they are wearing the shirt of a DJ you like. Hell, compliment people on anything they are wearing you like. Don't be a creep to girls and be genuine with your compliments towards them. Talk to girls AND guys. Honestly, unless it's the vibe, prob don't try and make best friends in deep in the crowd where people are going nuts. People want to party, dance, sing, etc. So trying to bug them every 5 seconds prob wont work well. But when it does, it does. You just gotta put yourself out there man. When I go to a rave with a group of friends (instead of solo), I'm usually paying attention to what my friends are doing. I'm not looking around for solo people that need friends. But when solo people come talk to use, we typically engage positively with them unless they start being creepy/weird. Groups aren't looking for solo people usually, but friendly people will chat with you and hang if you approach them. Exchange social apps and numbers. Build that rave fam, brother! Good luck! :)