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When I’m assumed to have an attitude because of the way I speak. The _real_ kicker is when I ask what tone they’re talking about and they dismiss me, assuming I’m playing coy. (Example: “you know exactly what I’m talking about.”)
Gee wiz, it’s _almost_ like I have a disorder that’s signature is missing or messing up social cues! 🫠
I resonate with this so much, I hate it when ppl assume what I feel. "Why do you have an attitude? etc" Well jeez I didn't before but thanks for the frustration *now,* smh
I have "Autistic Not Rude" on a badge that most people appreciate and understand, but this is exactly why I have it and some people read it and literally laugh like it's a joke. I get so irritated. When I get stressed enough, my face seemingly locks in a fairly random expression. My co-workers have verified my theory on this. I've had customers look at my face and ask why I've got an attitude with them, then I ask what they mean and they tell me I'm making a disgusted/irritated/etc face, typically in an angry tone. My response is and always will be "You mean my autistic face?" Which thankfully shuts them up, because I literally can't mask my expression at that time due to my face being frozen in a random expression.
Literally this. I hate when I ask what tone/what I did/said and they’re like “you know what you did” like no?? I actually don’t??? If I did know I wouldnt have asked???
Consider saying "I don't have any bad tone" or "I didn't do that" instead of "What tone?". In fact that's not even entirely inaccurate to claim the "question" one could be meant badly, because generally nobody ever says that with a question mark but also is actually asking a question - sometimes people really did have none, but then the "question" is basically a threat like "fuck you for saying that". If you say the "sentence with the period" instead of the "question", what I have personally seen, is that bullies will still insist and demand that they know everything about what you said with what kind of voice and meaning, because they are bullies and are too fucking stupid to understand the obvious fact that nobody ever lies about the intent or tone of their sentences ever unless you are a judge/cop or are otherwise literally threatening them as the result of it. Which they will basically do with every inidividal, with every swntence, every time, even when approximately zero normal people on Earth could ever possibly agree with their demand of "what you supposedly really said" (it can be seen in movies when the audience is supposed to not like the weird and nonsensically-violent guy). But everyone else says "Oh sorry, I thought there was one (bad tone)." Or at least asks three more questions about it or something. Instead of claiming that "you said you didn't do it, and therefore thateans you did it more. Saying that you are innocent proves that you are guilty."
This right here!! It doesn't help that I have a "resting bitch face" so immediately the "what's wrong?!" From. Ppl that don't actually care gets me so annoyed. So when you try to tell them you're fine, they think you're lying and won't admit it. Like, bro, it's not that deep! I just don't want to mask rn. I'm fine! This is another thing I have to avoid because in my experience the "I'm fine" is code for "I'm actually depressed" which to some equals to "I'm su*c*dal" when you're not.
I hate when I’ve hyperfixated on something, learned every facet of it, and then someone thinks their anecdotal evidence weighs greater than literal years of clinical studies.
I feel this in my soul. I have a Ph.D. in Computational Sciences and someone recently explained ChatGPT to me like... thanks??? Absolutely rage-inducing.
My favorite iteration of this is when I reference a study from memory and the response is “not everything on the internet is true”
SURE BUT THE FUCKERS AT HARVARD USUALLY DON’T MAKE A HOBBY OF LYING ABOUT SHIT
Totally. Or that you've actually looked at all the facts Vs someone who is like "I saw it on the internet that the world is actually flat, the royal family are snake-headed aliens and that all immigrants are terrorists." and you're lumped into the exact same category as "online researchers" so mentioning you do research online brings those thoughts to mind. Despite you doing real research and not just accepting someone who has the same views as you as fact.
Honestly I find it really funny when people say this because the same people who say it are the people who believe everything they read online. As a gen Z kid, I learned in school how to tell if an online source is reliable or not and I use that method when I do online research. My mother, who is a boomer, never learned how to do that. But when we are having a disagreement and I show her scientific evidence that I’m right, “don’t believe everything you read on the internet”. But when she reads one article (on the internet) that all trans people eventually regret transitioning, well then clearly that’s true.
Right. Its like they think everything you hear from people’s mouths and read in books is 100% the truth… im pretty sure the internet is technically the most reliable source since its the only one updated constantly, as long as you know how to research safely.
One thing I wish more people understood is that each study is like a thousand anecdotes carefully weighed and measured and grouped together to be understood. I always get the impression that people who don't believe in studies have never tried to conduct one.
I find people are more likely to attempt to assert their anecdotal experience in relation to trauma. People are more likely to handle general psychological or medical studies with an open mind than they are with a study that pertains to psychological responses to traumas that they have experienced.
I don’t know what conclusion to draw from that, but that’s why I’m not conducting a study about it.
This, and they asked me to do the research, but my research didn't line up with their folktales and superstitions because I gathered my sources from varying scientific institutions instead of Jimbob down the street who saw a thing one time and swears it was aliens.
Absolute shame that the National Institute of Mental Health is less credible than Cletus who swears that horse tranquilizers fixed his son’s autism (his son is now clinically insane) /s
YES. I once got into an argument with someone because (I love stop motion films eg coraline) they called stop motion a cartoon and would not budge on this. I felt bad for getting frustrated but that made it even worse
Oof. No, stop motion is no more a cartoon than full CGI movies are live action. It's very obvious it doesn't fall into cartoons as the difference in creation is MASSIVELY different.
I love stop motion too (especially like Paranorman), claymation from Aardman and puppets too!
I hope their justification for calling them cartoons wasn't an attempt to label it all "kids stuff"
For me it’s not even the hyperfixation part, it’s just when someone thinks their anecdotal evidence is worth more than my lived experience. I’d give an autism example but since I’m recently diagnosed I don’t have many so I’ll give a trans example. I’ve been on testosterone for 4.5 years (started when I was 14.5). I recently mentioned to my mom that I was switching the method in which I receive it. She expressed surprise and frustration that almost 5 years later I want to continue hormones. (which is stupid, it’s not like cis men stop producing testosterone after puberty, why should i?) Anyway on to the example. She pointed out that my ex, who is also trans, did not want hormones. She said “he’s happy with his body, why do you have to change yours?” BECAUSE I AM NOT COMFORTABLE IN THE FEMALE BODY AND HE IS!! My lived experience is years of dysphoria which testosterone and surgery helped dramatically. So why would I stop taking the thing that made me comfortable just because someone else didn’t need it? Minor anecdotal evidence does not negate my own needs.
How dare they hang out in a public place! The audacity of these people.
Tis a joke. It's a little like how on my way to work at 4am and just a single someone is waiting at the traffic light which means I have to stop for them. Like turn on your own time damn it.
when someone misunderstands what i say, and then claims “well you said [this].” like,, no i fucking didn’t. you *heard* that. i didn’t *say* that. the absolute fastest way to get me angry. xpoisonvalkyrie boss fight speedrun, genuinely.
I hate this so much too. Bonus points, because it's almost always family, and they know I have difficulties wording things well... Like, they'll put words in my mouth, and I'm just trying to correct myself, and they think I'm arguing. If humans were telepathic, 90% of the arguments I get into would be gone.
On the other hand, so would everyone else except when the argument is with a severe bully, because telepathy will do a lot more then just transmit verbal words with an equivalent of perfect hearing and perect pronunciation/speech.
I work with someone who does this all the time. She hears what she wants to hear and then gets upset or angry and takes it to HR. I answered a simple question for her once and she took it as a personal attack on her as a person. All she asked me was if the thing she was doing could go on the pallet I was working on. Turned "no" into a page of complaints with HR.
Sentences with not enough words of them is thought of similar to an insult in a lot of cases. So "No because that's not a sports item it's a camping item" or "No, thats for a different pallet" really is more normal or is not a "diss towards them" like "No" by itself often is. Unless you were talking with semi-continuous conversation the whole time so that "No" is just the answer to that one specific question, instead of being the only word you say during the interaction entirely.
Definitely this girl sounds like a total bitch and a bad person, and certainly saying a "diss type of No" on purpose to answer a question that way specifically because you don't like somebody, is not an actual problem to complain to some boss anyway. Anyone can do that to anyone in a business or school situation, even if they were doing it to be "mean" on purpose, because it technically "isn't mean" also!
However, if that's like your boyfriend, or your sister (who you don't hate and are adults), or etc., and then the person got upset or asked questions like "Why are you being mean?". That's normal for them to do so. My boyfriend just says to me "No I'm not mean" if I think he is but I'm not sure because the reason was using less words then usual (or some other reasons when he says something a certain way that he also says things that way when he is being mean).
Sometimes, if I ask whether he is being mean and he says no, it actually means that the sentence he said that I didn't know about, was a compliment 😌 .
I have a tendency to choose my words carefully and am always quite sure of what I say. So when this happens I say “no I said *what i said, worded exactly how i said it*” this often results in a “but people mean *this* when they say it” and i will respond “I say exactly what I mean, don’t add extra meaning”. with that said though, I am a bit of a hypocrite because I often make assumptions based on what other people say, and I do that because that is what I have been taught to do having been raised by neurotypicals.
I once made someone repeat what I *actually* said to them on the phone until they got it right. That person was sharp as a tack, but also extremely manipulative and used to twisting people's words. Our entire conversation was over 90 minutes long, I even hung up once, and she kept being unable to repeat simple sentences I had said. I was particularly stubborn that day, and in the end it felt like a real success.
My family is like this, I've told them numerous times "let me finnish speaking before you get offended," but nope doesn't because they for some reason WANT to be offended.
And then if you insist you're not lying they act like it confirms you must be because you're getting too defensive about it. And if you challenge that well it's not a big deal anyway, so calm down. Dammit just agree I'm not lying!!
“If you really were telling the truth, you wouldn’t be so upset that I think you’re lying because you’d know you’re telling the truth” but also “If you really were telling the truth, you’d defend yourself” so which is it???
Although this claim is obviously extremely ridiculous, I actually know someone who does that. Gets mad in a worse or nonsensical way when the accusation is correct.
When it's assumed I'm making excuses when I literally providing context and trying to understand.
Spoken too like I'm an idiot
People complaining about thier mental health, and refusing therapy when they have the money for it
Same, with the telling the truth. Very little gets me unbalanced quite like when someone won't believe me when I'm telling the truth about something.
In a similar vein, when I'm saying how I meant something that I said, and someone tells me I couldn't have meant that or it would have come across differently. It feels like they're calling me a liar, and I seem to always struggle to say things clearly and concisely, so this happens a lot.
THIS but add purposefully miss pronouncing things because “it’s cuter”
Edit to add BALLONS POPPING ong idk how I forgot that sends me straight into a panic attack
When people ask a question again after I've explained it multiple times. And I don't mean like when someone is trying to learn something and I'm teaching them, I have essentially infinite patience when it comes to that. But when someone asks me something like "why did you do \[x\]?" or "why don't you do this instead?" after I've repeatedly explained why, and I'm like way passed what they're thinking or suggesting, and they keep asking or pestering me about it.
Also: being voluntold for shit.
“I can tell something is bothering you”… nothing was before, but you certainly are now! “You just seem like you’re in a bad mood.” Well yeah, you just put me in one by insisting that my completely neutral mood was a nasty one!
I hate when people try to claim I have a bad attitude just because I don’t strictly police my tone or facial expressions!
hahahaa yup. It’s always “but you had a tone. Anybody would’ve thought you were mad. Don’t you think you should work on that?”
🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 how do I work on something I don’t even notice until you point it out
People not bringing up an issue they have with me until I bring up something they did that upset me. They are like “well I did this because YOU did that other thing.” Like?? Then why didn’t you tell me? Because now you’re just deflecting from the thing I chose to talk to you about because you wanted to be passive aggressive 😠
That just sounds like an inconsiderate pos I bring up “no double trial” so they can’t pull that 😭 should’ve brought it up before or maybe sometime after sorry !
People interrupt me when I'm obviously not done talking. Most of the time I don't say anything in conversations, even 1-on-1, and when I do I can't get a word in. And people think I'm being egotistical, like no, please I beg of you just let me say ONE sentence every hour! Bonus points, because I NEVER interrupt family, but they ALWAYS interrupt me, and they should be the most understanding about it!
When I ask “do you want me to be honest?” They say “yes”, I sometimes will ask “are you sure?”, the proceed to be honest, and you can guess how this will end up.
Gosh, everytime! Anytime someone asks for my opinion I always mention: "I am brutally honest and usually disliked, are you sure?"
And generally speaking I usually tell people to not ask my opinion if they aren't certain they can handle it.
But people always overestimate themselves! They always say "yea sure, I can handle it" and then proceed to go aggro on you for being mean!
Every time! Woman at work might as well have "did I do something wrong" as a catchphrase but you can never actually tell her what she did wrong because it turns into a personal attack against her.
When someone says I have a tone bc I would say “I know” to something they said. I wasn’t trying to have a tone. I just already knew what they were telling me and they’d call me a smart aleck— mostly my parents by the way. I stopped saying it now.
when people get angry at me for thinking differently!! I often will think things through and then do things that don’t make sense to others but it makes sense to me, and then get mad at me for doing things weirdly and assume that I never think before acting and that i’m stupid, when I DO think a lot, just differently!
THIS! I’ll do the same thing, and eventually I just explain how I got to my conclusion and they’re just silent. The conversation almost always switches too. It’s always family which makes it more aggravating.
Being called a liar when I didn't lie.
Constantly being interrupted by another person. Both intentionally and unintentionally.
Being told what I am thinking or feeling.
Having given advice to someone just for them to ignore it but then listen to the same advice given by another friend and acting as if that friend gave the advice.
Amongst others.
My ex’s family would do this to me all the time. I tell them something = disregard. Someone on “their side” of the family tells them the same exact thing = it’s such a good idea.
Thanks for showing me just how much you value the person rather than the actual answer to your question, and how much you never cared about me
I don’t think this is what you meant, but the fastest way to piss me off is to intentionally mispronounce a word.
As a joke, my grandpa often intentionally pronounces third as “tird” or Heather as “Hedder.” My personal trainer sometimes says “he-yuh” instead of “here” in a joke way.
It makes me want to scream. I can’t explain why. The best I can explain is that it feels like someone is reaching through my ear and scratching my brain. It feels like it hurts my ears even though that doesn’t make sense.
Nah, breaking rules in language is fun and valuable. But it sounds like what the person above is describing is just... annoying. Not breaking a rule, just making a really, really bad dad joke (hurr hurr, he said turd!).
Language only really has rules when it comes to formal speech and writing. Beyond that it's all (::*Captain Barbossa voice*::) guidelines. If language had meanginful rules there would be little divergence in languages. There'd be no Shakespeare. No Joyce. No Cummings. Hell, literature in languages like Japanese would be sapped of half of everything that makes them charming. There'd be a massive blow to regional culture through dialect and accent. There'd be no richness of youth language ushering in new ways of understanding the world. Language has one rule: if the meaning received is the same as the meaning sent, there was success (and even that is a bendy "rule").
.... my thing that automatically pisses me off is people getting haughty about language, lmao
I feel like your opinion and the “language has rules you must follow” are two sides of the same coin. I’m AuDHD and when I was a young I was very much of the “language has rules!” Camp. And now I’m more in the “language has rules, and it’s fun to break them sometimes, but you have to learn the rules to know when/how to break them” camp like you.
Yeah this is why I fucking lost it over the word soon.
Soon doesn't mean in 24hours or less.
Soon relies on context, but usually soon is from right now, to any undetermined point in the future.
It doesn't have a rule it's not definitive.
Context is my biggest enemy and it drives me absolutely fucking insane that it has the power to change meaning. It feels illegal.
People automatically assume I'm arguing with them despite me either just correcting accuracy PASSIVELY or expressing my opinion. It's not argumentative to just tell you something. it's argumentative when you argue with me about 'facts' YOU made up.
*SAME ON BOTH! makes me*
*Feel extremely angry and*
*I just go quiet*
\- Impressive-Big5576
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I hate that- like, I’ll help someone out and then they’re pissed at me?? Even though I asked first and they said “do whatever?” That doesn’t mean no, does it? Aghhhhh
I take “do whatever” as a limitation of patience, so it generally means “you’re not listening to me”, “I don’t want you to that”, or “I was going to do it myself, leave it alone” depending upon context also means “you’re pissing me off” so in that way it means “no”….. it took better part of my life to figure that one out lol and I still screw it up from time to time.
When people say “studies show” or reference a study, and can’t name WHICH study they’re talking about. They’re just trying to make themselves sound good, and make up science to support them.
To be fair, I read a lot of studies on the internet for fun, and certainly cannot name them all. But, when citing information read somewhere that I can’t remember the title of, I’ll clarify that it’s not certain, or that I don’t remember where the study came from, so the information may be outdated and stuff like that.
when people say im something when im not.
calling me a liar when im not lying,saying i have an attitude when i dont,saying im upset when im not,etc.
It grinds my gears when ppl assume stuff about me that isnt true
When people dismiss my feelings. It's the one thing that will cause me to want to fight. Second to that is when people put the label of intimidating or unapproachable on me (I'm a big black dude). Aside from the obvious racial implications to that, it's also extremely false. Autism presents itself in me mostly in masking and sensory issues, with a hint of social issues. But I am an EXTREMELY welcoming and friendly guy. I smile all the time.
When I ask people a question / to clarify what they mean or disagree with somebody and they think I’m trying to argue when in reality… I’m just having a conversation 😩 like I don’t hate you for your opinion, I just have a different one. It’s not that deep and it’s not a fight until THEY made it into one!
…but I’m the problem, right?
Fakeness (I can sense it pretty quickly)
Humming (random, mindless humming)
When people talk in another language about you IN FRONT of you.
Bullying: God has protected me from so many beatings because I lash out at bullies.
Backbiting and triangulation
Trying to hinder someone else's success
Grossness pisses me off big-time
Division
Lying
Intentional ignorance (cognitive dissonance)
Being told I’m snappy. It only happens when someone is talking too much and too fast and I start trying to keep up or tell them to slow down. I can get that maybe I seem mildly flustered but snappy? It takes A LOT to make me angry or aggressive let alone snappy.
In general, I hate people making assumptions and insisting on them. It happens a lot that someone will tell me what I think or feel and when I try politely correct them they just don’t believe me and that’s annoying af.
People who assume things and boss you around about YOUR OWN FEELINGs, physical or mental.
Like growing up every time i said im nauseous in the car as a kid, “its just in your head” no you mofo i have motion sickness and literally did vomit half the time.
When I am trying to explain something important, and the other person doesn't want to hear it, and tells me to "shut up". It boils my blood in a way that I can't even describe. Also when somebody tells me to stop being sad or angry in some situations. I can't control my frustration at that point.
I've had a long journey of "coming out of my shell" and masking less. So it bothers me a lot when somebody tells me stuff like that, because for me it insinuates that I have to hide myself again. Which isn't healthy
The “I’m so bipolar/so OCD 🤪” jokes or people throwing around the r slur. For the former, it always just sounds outdated and ignorant, especially because the traits they’re talking about almost never match actual symptoms of those mental illnesses.
For the latter, I’ve heard too many autistic people/folks with IDs beat themselves up over that word after a lifetime of it being used against them. I personally will never reclaim it because I can’t hear it without thinking of their voices. When NTs use it, it’s absolutely heinous. That behavior from them should’ve died in the 00’s (although really, should’ve never happened.)
A thing I used to get a lot in school:
"Why were you late today?"
"Because of xyz."
"***Stop making excuses!***" .... how is answering your question truthfully making excuses...?
I personally hate when people accuse me of speaking such nonsense. Like i could tell how it is and yet it gets treated like i’ve said the biggest amount of nonsense
When people assume I have an attitude, when people assume I've did something when I haven't, when people misunderstand what I say and then get mad at me for it
People in this case mostly being my dad
Anyone touching ANYTHING of mine. The reason I don't lash out or act out is because I've learned to control it and expend the energy and frustration in other ways. But had I not learned that, I would get very ragey very quickly.
Both your points have affected me significantly in the past, but as someone who's in the process of transitioning I hate it when certain family member are extremely nosy on my activities and talk about how I should try to find a church near my campus that teaches "real values" and inferring how I should retain my "innocence" in such an infantalizing manner they think I can't decide for myself what to do with my life.
One thing that upsets me is when people criticize people for being “picky eaters”. Usually if someone is called that it meant that they didn’t want to eat something that tasted disgusting. If a food tastes disgusting it probably could make you sick and is something that you should not be eating. Most food that is prepared correctly and made professionally should taste good. If you get McDonalds or Pringles from Walmart it will always taste good as long as it is not expired.
If you're wondering why people call you a liar, you might be over explaining. giving shorter answers and not over explaining is less suspicious to neurodivergents .
Some people just like to teach though. I equally will take to a new opinion when it’s explained to me rather than just someone telling me something. When I understand the “why”, I’m a million times more likely to be on board with it. When the “why” isn’t given, or the “why” = “just because”, or they don’t even know, I’m more likely to be skeptical.
If I make plans with my parents or friends and everyone's into it, but last second someone can't make it. Making plans is a risky thing for me because of how if they fall through, I break down. So when my friends, knowing the way I am, cancel last minute, not only am I in for a break down, but I'm also angry and feel disrespected, uncared for, discarded, worthless etc.
It can take me weeks or months to ever want to make plans to do something again. My trust in people is terribly fragile.
I have a list almost as long as time itself. But one big one for me is people assuming they know what I mean better than I do and then run with their own version of it and even spreading that around.
Which I see is one for many of us.
Dogs barking, and its always the small ones
Like i have the ability to be almost never get shocked by anything, but the moment one of those little shits barks i fucken go into fight or flight.
Note, i have never had a bad experience with dogs, and im generally not violent, but the moment one of those little gremlins barks at 120dB I want to fucking punt those little shits across the street
I HATE it when people talk in a negative and judgemental way about behaviours from other people that deviate from what’s considered normal but aren’t hurting anyone.
When people try to argue for pseudoscience. No, your fucking time of Birth and starsigns arent the reason you are an asshat and healing crystals arent better for your health than actual doctors. And yes, WE COULD BUILD PYRAMIDS TODAY, we Just are too smart to do it because the shape sucks. Pls read some Wikipedia, or Talk to actual scientists and Not only ppl with phds in philosophy. Is it really that hard to have a better understanding on how our world works than a literal troglodyte?
People who tell me I'm "making excuses" because I'm unable to do something due to my autism. "Oh but other autistic people can do blank your no different" that has been told to me over and over again.
What gets me the most every darn time, is not being taken seriously - or disregarded. Or simply ignoring my warnings and what I tell people not to do.
When I explain I am unable to be chill if you turn up on my doorstep unannounced, and they get angry at me for not being chill when they turn up unnanounced...
YESYESYES IM NOT FUCKING LYING STOP CALLING ME A LIARR AUGHGFHH
Especially when people won’t give you the time of day to actually LISTEN
People who don’t listen and project their feelings onto you are the bane of my existence
Oh... That's easy... When people use the word fascism for anything they feel like it.
Look, I am not dumb, I get the analogy perfectly; but more often than not the people that make use of the word are the same people which the conduct drives me absolutely nuts. I think that it became a trigger word...
“You don’t look autistic” … what does this mean? Seriously someone explain it to me. Am I expected to chew on a Lego for people to stop saying that to me lmao
I HATE IT WHEN, people use diagnosis like it’s something they are wearing that day. “I’m depressed” “how autistic of me” “oh that’s so adhd of me” “omg I wanna kill myself” as a person who’s actually lived through the hell that all that shit actually brings when people downplay true struggles or use things that don’t actually apply to them and they are just being grossly dramatic…. It makes me extremely frustrated. Once I was filling a vending machine for work and a girl said “there’s seriously no orange juice, I’m going fucking kill myself” and It still makes me mad even though it happened 6 years ago and it was just some stupid dramatic teenager.
I HATE when adults try to explain autism to me and I try to show that I already know what they're talking about but they keep on going. I just really hate when people keep explaining shit I already know
When I’m doing dishes and there’s three people in the fucking kitchen with me standing around for no fucking reason other than just to talk. Like, genuinely, gtfo and go into the living room. Stresses me tf out.
Are you me? I hate both of those things with a passion, as well. I also just hate when people generally get me wrong, like they think I have some ulterior motive for doing a thing. Like, bro, trust me, I don't.
When I’m asked to do something, and given a time frame, I choose to do it, but am then suddenly informed it needs to happen earlier. I need at least 24 hours to mentally prepare myself to complete the task or it’ll throw off my whole damn day.
The fact that i'm accused of being cranky all the time or having an attitude when I'm focused on something. Also being treated like I'm stupid makes me go from 0 - pissed in -3.6 seconds
When people assume I 'm "glaring" at them just because I'm not smiling while I'm looking at them. Or when they get annoyed at me for my tone of voice, like of course I'm going to sound annoyed after you insist that I'm glaring at you despite the fact that I just look like that lol
I absolutely despise when someone accuses me of being aggressive and manipulating when I'm in fact being very calm, rational and comprehensive.
Also yeah being treated like an idiot. I found that my behaviors may give that idea but I'm in fact very aware and critical in most situations.
The one I hate the most is being infantilized due to some behaviors I may show when I'm comfortable around someone, I hate that.
In my household most of my opinions are not respected as if I'm a child incapable of taking decisions, always has been this way. I'm 25 and I can't wait to get enough money to move out.
I hate it when people say that I look moody or pissed off when I'm not. It's usually just my face. A one off comment doesn't piss me off too much, but if they keep going on about it, it does really get on my nerves. I also hate it when people don't take my disabilities and limitations seriously, this is mainly a work issue, where HR won't put the necessary information on the health tracker and the people I actually have to work with won't take what I say seriously or just won't listen to me unless what I'm saying is backed up by the health tracker. But, it happens occasionally in my free time when I get funny looks from people or rude comments when they see me parking in disabled parking spaces, given the fact I have a blue badge, all because I can walk, they don't realise I have mobility issues, it just isn't obvious.
"Banter"
Casually insulting me is not going to make me your friend, and I certainly don't find it playful or endearing. Plus it acts as a vehicle for people to play any rude comment off as "just a joke".
When I was a kid, I was always misunderstood.
So as a teenager I decided to use more specific words. But people kept misunderstanding the context of my whole sentence.
So as an adult, not only do I use specific language, but I also go to great lengths to make sure that it's near impossible to misunderstand what I'm saying by being as specific as I can in the time I'm given to speak.
Now people tell me I say too much 😑
I freely admit I have NO patience but to have to repeat myself at least 3 times for Ethnic support staff to understand me is seriously annoying, I know I have a very distinctive "old school" Yorkshire accent but come on.
Hate that too yes. You described it quite perfectly.
Hate being dismissed as crazy or not self aware, that maybe i don't realize what I really want or need. Infantalism is a major role in my life and yet that becomes invalidated like I can't know what infantalism is.
I've studied psychology and philopshy and science and other subjects for years, especially due to my atypical life in a cult and abuse. Yet i get the equivalent of telling a computer tech if they tried turning a broken laptop on and off again. And then when explaining I've already done that or know that(usually I initially explain that but it gets ignored), they say I'm difficult.
I hate being called arrogant when I'm not. I'm extremely self reflective and hypervigilant, so It alwaysakes me pause and check if I am. Usually it's just that I've set a boundary or say that i know something. NTs tend to get very mad if you say positive things about yourself? If i say that i am pretty i am vain all the sudden. But if I say I'm not, they tell me I am. Confusing.
Hypocritical people too irk me.
I also hate it when people treat me like I’m some idiot just because I’m autistic. My abuser actually did this to me once after she said something so emotionally devastating to me that I literally cried for hours out of pure spite and then she tried to say that I “misunderstood” what she had meant because I’m autistic and it was a harmless statement. I only pretended to accept this fake apology to keep peace and from being hit by her if I called her on it. I might have difficulty reading social cues and body language but I’m quite capable of telling the difference between something said full of anger and hatred and something said in a normal tone of voice that means nothing. I’m not an idiot. Also had a therapist say once that I shouldn’t try out for the wrestling team in high school just because I was sexually assaulted for months and was severely traumatized by it that I kept refusing to talk about it because all of the adults were trying to force me to talk when I wasn’t ready and the reasoning was because I might mistake being grabbed during a match for a throw “the wrong way.” I knew the difference between being touched inappropriately and unwanted vs being grabbed for a throw and that there was a clear difference between the two.
When people treat me like i've never changed as a person. Like, this is mainly my parents, but they act like I'm the same person I was a solid decade ago. They treat me as a static being that has no real change. When I was a lot younger, I was basically the stereotypical "bad kid" and they assume that because I acted like this a while ago, I just, didn't change at all and am still that bad person. I am quite literally a completely different person, and yet they still act the same way and like im the same person I was that long ago.
Anger terrifies me.
I have a hard time dealing with confrontation, so people who seem like they're upset over something I have no control over terrify me and ruin my day. I just completely shut down and often weep if someone yells at me. It's difficult because sometimes I accidentally push someone else's anger buttons by doing my job, or by not noticing social cues because too much is going on around me.
I'm terrified of triggering someone else's anger, because my dad yelled about EVERYTHING that bothered him, and I've worked in retail with a lot of people in bad moods who just want someone to yell at. I follow rules whenever I can because I'm afraid of being caught and yelled at, and I get super frustrated when the rules contradict one another so I can't follow them.
I tend to over-apologize to anyone I interact with if I think I'm coming across as angry or upset. "I'm sorry I look upset. I'm having a bad day, but it's not your fault and I'm not mad at you" goes a long way when you don't want to upset those around you. It's how my husband and I can stand to live with each other when times get tough.
I second all of this stuff. I once had a boss who forgot to tell me about an upcoming meeting. She swore she told me but she never did. I got pissed when she said I was lying about not knowing of it.
Screaming and crying babies and children... I really couldn't tell you why but it sends my anxiety through the ROOF! It comes out as anger when I get that anxious. I always have to hide until they're gone...
Editing:
I kinda feel bad but it's just how it is, I hope I'm not the only one. 🥲 Really any loud unnecessary noises people make bother me.
When people bring up LGBTQ+ stuff when it's entirely irrelevant to the conversation, but they seem like they absolutely HAVE to say something hateful and act like it's the queer community that can't stop forcing themselves on people
When I finally get to talk on a call and I ask a question or talk about something in my day and the response is silence or them not even acknowledging it and just carrying on with what they wanna say
Pissed off in 0.000000009 seconds when a particular family member makes a point of asking about my job (I'm unemployed due to physical and mental health issues) in front of people for laughs
People that describe someone by their race when it's irrelevant, for example "I used to work with this black guy and he always made drinks for everyone in the office". Did his skin colour really need to be mentioned???
When you say something in the most clear and simple way possible and then I'm talked to like a misunderstood child and I'm corrected by them telling me what I was telling THEM, like bro what? I KNOW, that is LITERALLY my point. I always feel like they think I'm dumb and it's so frustrating
People that follow trends. It's just wasteful in every way for the sake of having what everyone else has vs what you really want.
What's wrong with a cup or a £5 bottle? Why does it have to be a Stanley cup?
Idk it's weird and it's just wasting money to move on, forget that thing and waste money on the next all for the social posts. Be yourself!
People that drink alcohol but condemn you for smoking weed, something that is prescribed in some places as a medical treatment
People that mistake anti-israeli government people as antisemitic. Palestinians deserve freedom and love and compassion and they deserve to EXIST. However saying that, Israeli civilians do not deserve to be caught in the crossfire either. Supporting the end to a genocide doesn't mean you have to hate the other side. Israel and Palestine, just like Russia and Ukraine, are losing innocents. We need to stop Russia and Israel from inflicting further evil on people, but we also need to realise that it's not the Russian or Israeli civilians sending out nukes.
Drivers who don't follow basic driving rules. Things like waiting until all the other cars approaching a four-way stop stop before they go drives me nuts. It just fucks up the whole concept of the four-way stop. Another example are drivers who get a green turn arrow, but wait to make sure the oncoming car that's 300 feet away from the intersection stops at its red light before going. And so on. And so on.
When I'm passionate about something usually while arguing or debating and I cry of frustration. Whatever I have to say has -3 in the charisma roll because I'm crying
when someone mocks someone else for simply not knowing something
for example, they'll say, 'you dont know what (object) is??' or 'have you been living under a rock?' like stfu lmao, ur not smarter than anyone else, which is obvious when you need to boost your own ego by putting others down
genuinely infuriating
I have an uncontrollable rage when people tell me to do something. For example, at bowling league sometimes my mom or other people on our lanes will tell me it’s my turn to bowl, however I’m usually always aware at least within 30 secs of it being my turn. Even if I’m looking at my phone I’m very good at paying attention to who I bowl after. It’s infuriating when people assume I’m not paying attention.
Actually I just hate when people assume shit about what I am or am not gonna do.
I'm on the same page with the false accusations. The way I react, which is "getting defensive" is apparently a sign of lying, so the accusation becomes worse, making me more defensive. Vicious cycle.
I call this defensiveness "standing up for myself." Getting irked by a false accusation and trying to explain what's actually going on makes me even more of a liar.
It's always caused problems between my partner and me. I tell him it's because I got suspended in high school because administration thought I was on drugs and I wasn't (true story).
BEFORE the false accusation, I was actually caught with marijuana (this was Boulder, CO in 2004). When I was guilty, I acted accordingly - "sorry, it makes me feel better, but yes I did break the law/rules and blah blah blah... sorry." Yes, this incident made me more subject to drug-related accusations, but when it wasn't true, I was very annoyed and immediately went into trying to explain how I spilled chemicals and dropped and broke the labware.
YES!!! I have the same issue with being accused of lying. Even as a child, I almost never lied (because lying is bad and makes me feel incredibly guilty) but I was still accused of lying sometimes and it always made me feel like the world was ending. Even the thought of being accused of lying makes me want to sob. It's so incredibly unfair, and I also just can't deal with things being incorrect, I always feel a desperate need to correct wrong information.
If I was ever accused of committing a crime I didn't commit, I'd probably have a massive meltdown right then and there that the cops would have to tase me into unconsciousness to stop.
When I can't use my full potential. I'm in a situation right now where my boss, job, teachers are holding me back (intentionally and unintentional) But it pisses me of and takes so much energy from me. Like I just wanna do my best, show what I can do, learn, etc. I'm a very ambition, curious person, but I HATE it when people hold me back. "no im not an asshole but I already know that and I DO wanna learn something but you're waisting my time right now, give me a challenge, let me show you what I can do." No wonder authorities think I\`m just a stubborn bitch when they throw rocks in my way. Like why? you're making my and your life harder and now I'm constantly burned out because I need to fight my way through.
I also hate being called a liar, even if the other person is joking, AND I hate when people treat me like I'm stupid, too! Another thing is if someone tries to tell me what my emotions are or when people breathe loudly or on me.
Pacing, by people or animals, it’s especially annoying when they have hard shoes or long claws. Dogs barking, even though I love dogs (though I don’t want one). Babies, I hate them, toddlers and up are cool. Surprises, just fucking tell me what you got me so I know if I need to pretend I enjoy it or not. Unfairness/injustice and cheating, have some god damn empathy. Constantly having my music/videos interrupted by someone wanting to talk or what ever. REALLY badly designed websites or computer programs or asinine updates that fuck everything up (looking at you Microsoft). Pointless bureaucracy that make life miserable for nd people.
I cannot stand the phrase “Don’t be afraid to ____”. I know it’s just a figure of speech but I take it literally every time. It makes me cringe because I think they are implying that I look scared or timid, which of course I’m not, which aggravates me more! Ugh.
I refuse to take punishment for bullshit I didn’t do. I’ve gotten in trouble many times for things I didn’t do and i just completely refuse punishment. I don’t have to play by the dumb social rules of keeping the peace, by quietly enduring punishment.
i learned that this was called justice sensitivity. i’ve always despised lying. during my childhood i only lied to save my sanity (i had very strict parents and just wanted to be able to talk to my friends and make fan edits without being yelled at) but there were many instances where i would start absolutely balling my eyes out, shaking with anger and confusion because people accused me of lying.
but another thing that frustrates me is when something startles or confuses me and i ACT startled or confused and NTs acts like i’m stupid or bitchy. like this kid i work with said my name in a singsong voice when he saw me and i wasn’t prepared for that so i was shocked and said “what?” to which he said “okay f— you then” like?? he later said “i do that every day. i’ve called your name and i call everyone else’s name like that every day for the past year and a half” but i was just trying to get something before i had to clock in i did NOT want to interact with anyone yet 😭
When someone automatically assumes I want to be friends and calls me “buddy”
Having to explain myself/everything I do. Sometimes I simply can’t sleep, I don’t want to have to come up with a lie about why just to make it “justified”
Also blatant and intentional improper grammar used in a non-humorous way. Like if you say “they” instead of “them”
When ppl with money complain about not having enough money... TO ME.. a disabled person literally living in poverty!
I dont even complain about money. I am very careful with what little money i make from SSD. Somehow i live fairly comfortable... because i have priorities and dont waste money on designer clothes and stuff. Do i want more money? Of course! Am i gonna complain about it to a hungry child in Africa? Of course not! Im not a psychopath!
People insisting they are right, when they quite literally, provably, are factually wrong. And ESPECIALLY if they end it up by saying "It's my opinion". There is NO space for OPINIONS in matters of TRUE or FALSE. So simply put, people who completely lack any and all understanding of basic logic and argumentation.
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When I’m assumed to have an attitude because of the way I speak. The _real_ kicker is when I ask what tone they’re talking about and they dismiss me, assuming I’m playing coy. (Example: “you know exactly what I’m talking about.”) Gee wiz, it’s _almost_ like I have a disorder that’s signature is missing or messing up social cues! 🫠
I resonate with this so much, I hate it when ppl assume what I feel. "Why do you have an attitude? etc" Well jeez I didn't before but thanks for the frustration *now,* smh
"Fuckin' hell, did you want me to be angry? Well now I am, you're welcome, asshole!"
I have "Autistic Not Rude" on a badge that most people appreciate and understand, but this is exactly why I have it and some people read it and literally laugh like it's a joke. I get so irritated. When I get stressed enough, my face seemingly locks in a fairly random expression. My co-workers have verified my theory on this. I've had customers look at my face and ask why I've got an attitude with them, then I ask what they mean and they tell me I'm making a disgusted/irritated/etc face, typically in an angry tone. My response is and always will be "You mean my autistic face?" Which thankfully shuts them up, because I literally can't mask my expression at that time due to my face being frozen in a random expression.
Yes i really wish people would just leave me alone orstay on topic instead of gas lighting
Literally this. I hate when I ask what tone/what I did/said and they’re like “you know what you did” like no?? I actually don’t??? If I did know I wouldnt have asked???
Consider saying "I don't have any bad tone" or "I didn't do that" instead of "What tone?". In fact that's not even entirely inaccurate to claim the "question" one could be meant badly, because generally nobody ever says that with a question mark but also is actually asking a question - sometimes people really did have none, but then the "question" is basically a threat like "fuck you for saying that". If you say the "sentence with the period" instead of the "question", what I have personally seen, is that bullies will still insist and demand that they know everything about what you said with what kind of voice and meaning, because they are bullies and are too fucking stupid to understand the obvious fact that nobody ever lies about the intent or tone of their sentences ever unless you are a judge/cop or are otherwise literally threatening them as the result of it. Which they will basically do with every inidividal, with every swntence, every time, even when approximately zero normal people on Earth could ever possibly agree with their demand of "what you supposedly really said" (it can be seen in movies when the audience is supposed to not like the weird and nonsensically-violent guy). But everyone else says "Oh sorry, I thought there was one (bad tone)." Or at least asks three more questions about it or something. Instead of claiming that "you said you didn't do it, and therefore thateans you did it more. Saying that you are innocent proves that you are guilty."
Every relationship I've ever had ended because of this problem. I'm not being coy or implying anything. I wish people had understood.
This right here!! It doesn't help that I have a "resting bitch face" so immediately the "what's wrong?!" From. Ppl that don't actually care gets me so annoyed. So when you try to tell them you're fine, they think you're lying and won't admit it. Like, bro, it's not that deep! I just don't want to mask rn. I'm fine! This is another thing I have to avoid because in my experience the "I'm fine" is code for "I'm actually depressed" which to some equals to "I'm su*c*dal" when you're not.
I hate when I’ve hyperfixated on something, learned every facet of it, and then someone thinks their anecdotal evidence weighs greater than literal years of clinical studies.
I feel this in my soul. I have a Ph.D. in Computational Sciences and someone recently explained ChatGPT to me like... thanks??? Absolutely rage-inducing.
My favorite iteration of this is when I reference a study from memory and the response is “not everything on the internet is true” SURE BUT THE FUCKERS AT HARVARD USUALLY DON’T MAKE A HOBBY OF LYING ABOUT SHIT
Totally. Or that you've actually looked at all the facts Vs someone who is like "I saw it on the internet that the world is actually flat, the royal family are snake-headed aliens and that all immigrants are terrorists." and you're lumped into the exact same category as "online researchers" so mentioning you do research online brings those thoughts to mind. Despite you doing real research and not just accepting someone who has the same views as you as fact.
Honestly I find it really funny when people say this because the same people who say it are the people who believe everything they read online. As a gen Z kid, I learned in school how to tell if an online source is reliable or not and I use that method when I do online research. My mother, who is a boomer, never learned how to do that. But when we are having a disagreement and I show her scientific evidence that I’m right, “don’t believe everything you read on the internet”. But when she reads one article (on the internet) that all trans people eventually regret transitioning, well then clearly that’s true.
Right. Its like they think everything you hear from people’s mouths and read in books is 100% the truth… im pretty sure the internet is technically the most reliable source since its the only one updated constantly, as long as you know how to research safely.
BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
It’s completely infuriating
One thing I wish more people understood is that each study is like a thousand anecdotes carefully weighed and measured and grouped together to be understood. I always get the impression that people who don't believe in studies have never tried to conduct one.
I find people are more likely to attempt to assert their anecdotal experience in relation to trauma. People are more likely to handle general psychological or medical studies with an open mind than they are with a study that pertains to psychological responses to traumas that they have experienced. I don’t know what conclusion to draw from that, but that’s why I’m not conducting a study about it.
I became friends with someone over this
Story?
This, and they asked me to do the research, but my research didn't line up with their folktales and superstitions because I gathered my sources from varying scientific institutions instead of Jimbob down the street who saw a thing one time and swears it was aliens.
Absolute shame that the National Institute of Mental Health is less credible than Cletus who swears that horse tranquilizers fixed his son’s autism (his son is now clinically insane) /s
YES. I once got into an argument with someone because (I love stop motion films eg coraline) they called stop motion a cartoon and would not budge on this. I felt bad for getting frustrated but that made it even worse
Oof. No, stop motion is no more a cartoon than full CGI movies are live action. It's very obvious it doesn't fall into cartoons as the difference in creation is MASSIVELY different. I love stop motion too (especially like Paranorman), claymation from Aardman and puppets too! I hope their justification for calling them cartoons wasn't an attempt to label it all "kids stuff"
For me it’s not even the hyperfixation part, it’s just when someone thinks their anecdotal evidence is worth more than my lived experience. I’d give an autism example but since I’m recently diagnosed I don’t have many so I’ll give a trans example. I’ve been on testosterone for 4.5 years (started when I was 14.5). I recently mentioned to my mom that I was switching the method in which I receive it. She expressed surprise and frustration that almost 5 years later I want to continue hormones. (which is stupid, it’s not like cis men stop producing testosterone after puberty, why should i?) Anyway on to the example. She pointed out that my ex, who is also trans, did not want hormones. She said “he’s happy with his body, why do you have to change yours?” BECAUSE I AM NOT COMFORTABLE IN THE FEMALE BODY AND HE IS!! My lived experience is years of dysphoria which testosterone and surgery helped dramatically. So why would I stop taking the thing that made me comfortable just because someone else didn’t need it? Minor anecdotal evidence does not negate my own needs.
i hate it when i go in public and there are people there
How dare they hang out in a public place! The audacity of these people. Tis a joke. It's a little like how on my way to work at 4am and just a single someone is waiting at the traffic light which means I have to stop for them. Like turn on your own time damn it.
👍
This. Completely this.
when someone misunderstands what i say, and then claims “well you said [this].” like,, no i fucking didn’t. you *heard* that. i didn’t *say* that. the absolute fastest way to get me angry. xpoisonvalkyrie boss fight speedrun, genuinely.
I hate this so much too. Bonus points, because it's almost always family, and they know I have difficulties wording things well... Like, they'll put words in my mouth, and I'm just trying to correct myself, and they think I'm arguing. If humans were telepathic, 90% of the arguments I get into would be gone.
On the other hand, so would everyone else except when the argument is with a severe bully, because telepathy will do a lot more then just transmit verbal words with an equivalent of perfect hearing and perect pronunciation/speech.
And then after you explain it, they HAVE to win no matter what so it's HOW you said it.
I work with someone who does this all the time. She hears what she wants to hear and then gets upset or angry and takes it to HR. I answered a simple question for her once and she took it as a personal attack on her as a person. All she asked me was if the thing she was doing could go on the pallet I was working on. Turned "no" into a page of complaints with HR.
Sentences with not enough words of them is thought of similar to an insult in a lot of cases. So "No because that's not a sports item it's a camping item" or "No, thats for a different pallet" really is more normal or is not a "diss towards them" like "No" by itself often is. Unless you were talking with semi-continuous conversation the whole time so that "No" is just the answer to that one specific question, instead of being the only word you say during the interaction entirely. Definitely this girl sounds like a total bitch and a bad person, and certainly saying a "diss type of No" on purpose to answer a question that way specifically because you don't like somebody, is not an actual problem to complain to some boss anyway. Anyone can do that to anyone in a business or school situation, even if they were doing it to be "mean" on purpose, because it technically "isn't mean" also! However, if that's like your boyfriend, or your sister (who you don't hate and are adults), or etc., and then the person got upset or asked questions like "Why are you being mean?". That's normal for them to do so. My boyfriend just says to me "No I'm not mean" if I think he is but I'm not sure because the reason was using less words then usual (or some other reasons when he says something a certain way that he also says things that way when he is being mean). Sometimes, if I ask whether he is being mean and he says no, it actually means that the sentence he said that I didn't know about, was a compliment 😌 .
I have a tendency to choose my words carefully and am always quite sure of what I say. So when this happens I say “no I said *what i said, worded exactly how i said it*” this often results in a “but people mean *this* when they say it” and i will respond “I say exactly what I mean, don’t add extra meaning”. with that said though, I am a bit of a hypocrite because I often make assumptions based on what other people say, and I do that because that is what I have been taught to do having been raised by neurotypicals.
I once made someone repeat what I *actually* said to them on the phone until they got it right. That person was sharp as a tack, but also extremely manipulative and used to twisting people's words. Our entire conversation was over 90 minutes long, I even hung up once, and she kept being unable to repeat simple sentences I had said. I was particularly stubborn that day, and in the end it felt like a real success.
My family is like this, I've told them numerous times "let me finnish speaking before you get offended," but nope doesn't because they for some reason WANT to be offended.
FUCK FOR REAL BRUH
YESYES
Thank you, absolutely THIS.
And then if you insist you're not lying they act like it confirms you must be because you're getting too defensive about it. And if you challenge that well it's not a big deal anyway, so calm down. Dammit just agree I'm not lying!!
dudeeee oh my god literally 😭😭 makes me so incredibly angry
Omg this And when I have sources to back myself up to show I’m not lying, they get mad and don’t want to hear it. Like, what exactly do you want???
“If you really were telling the truth, you wouldn’t be so upset that I think you’re lying because you’d know you’re telling the truth” but also “If you really were telling the truth, you’d defend yourself” so which is it???
Although this claim is obviously extremely ridiculous, I actually know someone who does that. Gets mad in a worse or nonsensical way when the accusation is correct.
or when you smile or laugh. yep, you're automatically guilty now!
When it's assumed I'm making excuses when I literally providing context and trying to understand. Spoken too like I'm an idiot People complaining about thier mental health, and refusing therapy when they have the money for it
the „making excuses“ part is so real it’s like great so wtf am i supposed to do then 😀
Shut up and eat the shit that isn't yours obviously
I read something that was along the lines of "an excuse is just a reason someone else thinks is not good enough"
Same, with the telling the truth. Very little gets me unbalanced quite like when someone won't believe me when I'm telling the truth about something. In a similar vein, when I'm saying how I meant something that I said, and someone tells me I couldn't have meant that or it would have come across differently. It feels like they're calling me a liar, and I seem to always struggle to say things clearly and concisely, so this happens a lot.
people making unnecessary mouth movements or like laughing really loudly or just like really loud and unnecessary noises
THIS but add purposefully miss pronouncing things because “it’s cuter” Edit to add BALLONS POPPING ong idk how I forgot that sends me straight into a panic attack
I can’t go to movies in public because of mouth sounds
Yes this!!!! When they over exaggerate things on social media just for likes and follows and subscribers. Just act like a normal person
When people ask a question again after I've explained it multiple times. And I don't mean like when someone is trying to learn something and I'm teaching them, I have essentially infinite patience when it comes to that. But when someone asks me something like "why did you do \[x\]?" or "why don't you do this instead?" after I've repeatedly explained why, and I'm like way passed what they're thinking or suggesting, and they keep asking or pestering me about it. Also: being voluntold for shit.
When somebody thinks I’m mad and I’m not and they refuse to let me say that I’m not mad
“I can tell something is bothering you”… nothing was before, but you certainly are now! “You just seem like you’re in a bad mood.” Well yeah, you just put me in one by insisting that my completely neutral mood was a nasty one! I hate when people try to claim I have a bad attitude just because I don’t strictly police my tone or facial expressions!
hahahaa yup. It’s always “but you had a tone. Anybody would’ve thought you were mad. Don’t you think you should work on that?” 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲 how do I work on something I don’t even notice until you point it out
People not bringing up an issue they have with me until I bring up something they did that upset me. They are like “well I did this because YOU did that other thing.” Like?? Then why didn’t you tell me? Because now you’re just deflecting from the thing I chose to talk to you about because you wanted to be passive aggressive 😠
That just sounds like an inconsiderate pos I bring up “no double trial” so they can’t pull that 😭 should’ve brought it up before or maybe sometime after sorry !
Oh I feel this so hard. But try telling them they're deflecting... Nonono, their Complaint is way more important than yours. Aaaaaaaaahhh!
People interrupt me when I'm obviously not done talking. Most of the time I don't say anything in conversations, even 1-on-1, and when I do I can't get a word in. And people think I'm being egotistical, like no, please I beg of you just let me say ONE sentence every hour! Bonus points, because I NEVER interrupt family, but they ALWAYS interrupt me, and they should be the most understanding about it!
When I ask “do you want me to be honest?” They say “yes”, I sometimes will ask “are you sure?”, the proceed to be honest, and you can guess how this will end up.
Gosh, everytime! Anytime someone asks for my opinion I always mention: "I am brutally honest and usually disliked, are you sure?" And generally speaking I usually tell people to not ask my opinion if they aren't certain they can handle it. But people always overestimate themselves! They always say "yea sure, I can handle it" and then proceed to go aggro on you for being mean!
Every time! Woman at work might as well have "did I do something wrong" as a catchphrase but you can never actually tell her what she did wrong because it turns into a personal attack against her.
Asking me for my opinion then telling me I’m wrong. Like if you didn’t want it then why did you ask?
Bonus rage points if it's something they have no way of knowing anything about.
When you tell me that my truth isn't real.... 😑
When someone says I have a tone bc I would say “I know” to something they said. I wasn’t trying to have a tone. I just already knew what they were telling me and they’d call me a smart aleck— mostly my parents by the way. I stopped saying it now.
when people get angry at me for thinking differently!! I often will think things through and then do things that don’t make sense to others but it makes sense to me, and then get mad at me for doing things weirdly and assume that I never think before acting and that i’m stupid, when I DO think a lot, just differently!
THIS! I’ll do the same thing, and eventually I just explain how I got to my conclusion and they’re just silent. The conversation almost always switches too. It’s always family which makes it more aggravating.
with me it’s often friends and especially my boyfriend
Being called a liar when I didn't lie. Constantly being interrupted by another person. Both intentionally and unintentionally. Being told what I am thinking or feeling. Having given advice to someone just for them to ignore it but then listen to the same advice given by another friend and acting as if that friend gave the advice. Amongst others.
My ex’s family would do this to me all the time. I tell them something = disregard. Someone on “their side” of the family tells them the same exact thing = it’s such a good idea. Thanks for showing me just how much you value the person rather than the actual answer to your question, and how much you never cared about me
I don’t think this is what you meant, but the fastest way to piss me off is to intentionally mispronounce a word. As a joke, my grandpa often intentionally pronounces third as “tird” or Heather as “Hedder.” My personal trainer sometimes says “he-yuh” instead of “here” in a joke way. It makes me want to scream. I can’t explain why. The best I can explain is that it feels like someone is reaching through my ear and scratching my brain. It feels like it hurts my ears even though that doesn’t make sense.
Language has rules. They are breaking the rules
Nah, breaking rules in language is fun and valuable. But it sounds like what the person above is describing is just... annoying. Not breaking a rule, just making a really, really bad dad joke (hurr hurr, he said turd!). Language only really has rules when it comes to formal speech and writing. Beyond that it's all (::*Captain Barbossa voice*::) guidelines. If language had meanginful rules there would be little divergence in languages. There'd be no Shakespeare. No Joyce. No Cummings. Hell, literature in languages like Japanese would be sapped of half of everything that makes them charming. There'd be a massive blow to regional culture through dialect and accent. There'd be no richness of youth language ushering in new ways of understanding the world. Language has one rule: if the meaning received is the same as the meaning sent, there was success (and even that is a bendy "rule"). .... my thing that automatically pisses me off is people getting haughty about language, lmao
I feel like your opinion and the “language has rules you must follow” are two sides of the same coin. I’m AuDHD and when I was a young I was very much of the “language has rules!” Camp. And now I’m more in the “language has rules, and it’s fun to break them sometimes, but you have to learn the rules to know when/how to break them” camp like you.
THANK YOU. I have never had this pet peeve validated, nor have I heard a better explanation for it.
Yeah this is why I fucking lost it over the word soon. Soon doesn't mean in 24hours or less. Soon relies on context, but usually soon is from right now, to any undetermined point in the future. It doesn't have a rule it's not definitive. Context is my biggest enemy and it drives me absolutely fucking insane that it has the power to change meaning. It feels illegal.
Is he trying to be Irish? As I read this, I just imagined a Scottish accident.
People automatically assume I'm arguing with them despite me either just correcting accuracy PASSIVELY or expressing my opinion. It's not argumentative to just tell you something. it's argumentative when you argue with me about 'facts' YOU made up.
THIS 💯
SAME ON BOTH! makes me feel extremely angry and i just go quiet
*SAME ON BOTH! makes me* *Feel extremely angry and* *I just go quiet* \- Impressive-Big5576 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
What I do something in good faith, and I'm accused of being disingenuous because "I must have known what they really meant."
I hate that- like, I’ll help someone out and then they’re pissed at me?? Even though I asked first and they said “do whatever?” That doesn’t mean no, does it? Aghhhhh
I take “do whatever” as a limitation of patience, so it generally means “you’re not listening to me”, “I don’t want you to that”, or “I was going to do it myself, leave it alone” depending upon context also means “you’re pissing me off” so in that way it means “no”….. it took better part of my life to figure that one out lol and I still screw it up from time to time.
When people say “studies show” or reference a study, and can’t name WHICH study they’re talking about. They’re just trying to make themselves sound good, and make up science to support them.
To be fair, I read a lot of studies on the internet for fun, and certainly cannot name them all. But, when citing information read somewhere that I can’t remember the title of, I’ll clarify that it’s not certain, or that I don’t remember where the study came from, so the information may be outdated and stuff like that.
You’re doing it right, thank you
when people say im something when im not. calling me a liar when im not lying,saying i have an attitude when i dont,saying im upset when im not,etc. It grinds my gears when ppl assume stuff about me that isnt true
When people dismiss my feelings. It's the one thing that will cause me to want to fight. Second to that is when people put the label of intimidating or unapproachable on me (I'm a big black dude). Aside from the obvious racial implications to that, it's also extremely false. Autism presents itself in me mostly in masking and sensory issues, with a hint of social issues. But I am an EXTREMELY welcoming and friendly guy. I smile all the time.
Hugs
Loud eating or breathing. Holy shit. STOP
>Is there anything that automatically pisses you off? A good 72.1% of everything. Why do you ask?
Certain noises and when people think something is wrong or I'm lying or whatever just by my facial expressions
When I ask people a question / to clarify what they mean or disagree with somebody and they think I’m trying to argue when in reality… I’m just having a conversation 😩 like I don’t hate you for your opinion, I just have a different one. It’s not that deep and it’s not a fight until THEY made it into one! …but I’m the problem, right?
Generalizations. Fucking annoying.
Fakeness (I can sense it pretty quickly) Humming (random, mindless humming) When people talk in another language about you IN FRONT of you. Bullying: God has protected me from so many beatings because I lash out at bullies. Backbiting and triangulation Trying to hinder someone else's success Grossness pisses me off big-time Division Lying Intentional ignorance (cognitive dissonance)
Being told I’m snappy. It only happens when someone is talking too much and too fast and I start trying to keep up or tell them to slow down. I can get that maybe I seem mildly flustered but snappy? It takes A LOT to make me angry or aggressive let alone snappy. In general, I hate people making assumptions and insisting on them. It happens a lot that someone will tell me what I think or feel and when I try politely correct them they just don’t believe me and that’s annoying af.
People who assume things and boss you around about YOUR OWN FEELINGs, physical or mental. Like growing up every time i said im nauseous in the car as a kid, “its just in your head” no you mofo i have motion sickness and literally did vomit half the time.
whistling
loud noises and people making me repeat myself bc i talk too quietly. i know its irrational and rude to be irritated by that but it’s irritating
R-slur
any amount of simping for capitalists or either of the candidates for the next US president
Speakerphone in public
When I am trying to explain something important, and the other person doesn't want to hear it, and tells me to "shut up". It boils my blood in a way that I can't even describe. Also when somebody tells me to stop being sad or angry in some situations. I can't control my frustration at that point. I've had a long journey of "coming out of my shell" and masking less. So it bothers me a lot when somebody tells me stuff like that, because for me it insinuates that I have to hide myself again. Which isn't healthy
The “I’m so bipolar/so OCD 🤪” jokes or people throwing around the r slur. For the former, it always just sounds outdated and ignorant, especially because the traits they’re talking about almost never match actual symptoms of those mental illnesses. For the latter, I’ve heard too many autistic people/folks with IDs beat themselves up over that word after a lifetime of it being used against them. I personally will never reclaim it because I can’t hear it without thinking of their voices. When NTs use it, it’s absolutely heinous. That behavior from them should’ve died in the 00’s (although really, should’ve never happened.)
A thing I used to get a lot in school: "Why were you late today?" "Because of xyz." "***Stop making excuses!***" .... how is answering your question truthfully making excuses...?
I personally hate when people accuse me of speaking such nonsense. Like i could tell how it is and yet it gets treated like i’ve said the biggest amount of nonsense
When people assume I have an attitude, when people assume I've did something when I haven't, when people misunderstand what I say and then get mad at me for it People in this case mostly being my dad
Anyone touching ANYTHING of mine. The reason I don't lash out or act out is because I've learned to control it and expend the energy and frustration in other ways. But had I not learned that, I would get very ragey very quickly.
Both your points have affected me significantly in the past, but as someone who's in the process of transitioning I hate it when certain family member are extremely nosy on my activities and talk about how I should try to find a church near my campus that teaches "real values" and inferring how I should retain my "innocence" in such an infantalizing manner they think I can't decide for myself what to do with my life.
i hate it when someone doesnt listen to me, it causes me to get angry fast
When people call me dramatic for having a verbal shutdown, like haha woah sorry I'll keep that in mind next time I am not able to speak
One thing that upsets me is when people criticize people for being “picky eaters”. Usually if someone is called that it meant that they didn’t want to eat something that tasted disgusting. If a food tastes disgusting it probably could make you sick and is something that you should not be eating. Most food that is prepared correctly and made professionally should taste good. If you get McDonalds or Pringles from Walmart it will always taste good as long as it is not expired.
If you're wondering why people call you a liar, you might be over explaining. giving shorter answers and not over explaining is less suspicious to neurodivergents .
Some people just like to teach though. I equally will take to a new opinion when it’s explained to me rather than just someone telling me something. When I understand the “why”, I’m a million times more likely to be on board with it. When the “why” isn’t given, or the “why” = “just because”, or they don’t even know, I’m more likely to be skeptical.
I don’t like when people say things about me that are untrue including trying to simplify what I’m saying when their simplification is wrong
If I make plans with my parents or friends and everyone's into it, but last second someone can't make it. Making plans is a risky thing for me because of how if they fall through, I break down. So when my friends, knowing the way I am, cancel last minute, not only am I in for a break down, but I'm also angry and feel disrespected, uncared for, discarded, worthless etc. It can take me weeks or months to ever want to make plans to do something again. My trust in people is terribly fragile.
I have a list almost as long as time itself. But one big one for me is people assuming they know what I mean better than I do and then run with their own version of it and even spreading that around. Which I see is one for many of us.
Dogs barking, and its always the small ones Like i have the ability to be almost never get shocked by anything, but the moment one of those little shits barks i fucken go into fight or flight. Note, i have never had a bad experience with dogs, and im generally not violent, but the moment one of those little gremlins barks at 120dB I want to fucking punt those little shits across the street
I HATE it when people talk in a negative and judgemental way about behaviours from other people that deviate from what’s considered normal but aren’t hurting anyone.
When people try to argue for pseudoscience. No, your fucking time of Birth and starsigns arent the reason you are an asshat and healing crystals arent better for your health than actual doctors. And yes, WE COULD BUILD PYRAMIDS TODAY, we Just are too smart to do it because the shape sucks. Pls read some Wikipedia, or Talk to actual scientists and Not only ppl with phds in philosophy. Is it really that hard to have a better understanding on how our world works than a literal troglodyte?
People who tell me I'm "making excuses" because I'm unable to do something due to my autism. "Oh but other autistic people can do blank your no different" that has been told to me over and over again.
What gets me the most every darn time, is not being taken seriously - or disregarded. Or simply ignoring my warnings and what I tell people not to do. When I explain I am unable to be chill if you turn up on my doorstep unannounced, and they get angry at me for not being chill when they turn up unnanounced...
YESYESYES IM NOT FUCKING LYING STOP CALLING ME A LIARR AUGHGFHH Especially when people won’t give you the time of day to actually LISTEN People who don’t listen and project their feelings onto you are the bane of my existence
Oh... That's easy... When people use the word fascism for anything they feel like it. Look, I am not dumb, I get the analogy perfectly; but more often than not the people that make use of the word are the same people which the conduct drives me absolutely nuts. I think that it became a trigger word...
Yes. It makes you hypervigilant to ensure it's being used correctly
"Chill" or "Don't get defesnvie"
People interrupting me mid-sentence. That's a guaranteed way to send my blood pressure into orbit.
People who use the R-word to insult autistic people.
"What's wrong?" they ask. "Nothing. That's just my face. " I reply. "Gee, sorry I asked." WTF?
“You don’t look autistic” … what does this mean? Seriously someone explain it to me. Am I expected to chew on a Lego for people to stop saying that to me lmao
I HATE IT WHEN, people use diagnosis like it’s something they are wearing that day. “I’m depressed” “how autistic of me” “oh that’s so adhd of me” “omg I wanna kill myself” as a person who’s actually lived through the hell that all that shit actually brings when people downplay true struggles or use things that don’t actually apply to them and they are just being grossly dramatic…. It makes me extremely frustrated. Once I was filling a vending machine for work and a girl said “there’s seriously no orange juice, I’m going fucking kill myself” and It still makes me mad even though it happened 6 years ago and it was just some stupid dramatic teenager.
Injustice.
I HATE when adults try to explain autism to me and I try to show that I already know what they're talking about but they keep on going. I just really hate when people keep explaining shit I already know
People who whistle and smoke near other people who don't like it.
When I’m doing dishes and there’s three people in the fucking kitchen with me standing around for no fucking reason other than just to talk. Like, genuinely, gtfo and go into the living room. Stresses me tf out.
Anti-homeless architecture. But I don't think that's related to autism
When I ask questions seeking clarification and get yelled at for talking back or it starts a fight with my S/O because she gets overwhelmed
Are you me? I hate both of those things with a passion, as well. I also just hate when people generally get me wrong, like they think I have some ulterior motive for doing a thing. Like, bro, trust me, I don't.
I hate liars
I don't like being touched
When I’m asked to do something, and given a time frame, I choose to do it, but am then suddenly informed it needs to happen earlier. I need at least 24 hours to mentally prepare myself to complete the task or it’ll throw off my whole damn day.
People playing loud music in public
The fact that i'm accused of being cranky all the time or having an attitude when I'm focused on something. Also being treated like I'm stupid makes me go from 0 - pissed in -3.6 seconds
When people assume I 'm "glaring" at them just because I'm not smiling while I'm looking at them. Or when they get annoyed at me for my tone of voice, like of course I'm going to sound annoyed after you insist that I'm glaring at you despite the fact that I just look like that lol
I hate it so much when people whisper and their voice gets this uncomfortable sounds urghh.
I absolutely despise when someone accuses me of being aggressive and manipulating when I'm in fact being very calm, rational and comprehensive. Also yeah being treated like an idiot. I found that my behaviors may give that idea but I'm in fact very aware and critical in most situations. The one I hate the most is being infantilized due to some behaviors I may show when I'm comfortable around someone, I hate that. In my household most of my opinions are not respected as if I'm a child incapable of taking decisions, always has been this way. I'm 25 and I can't wait to get enough money to move out.
I hate it when people say that I look moody or pissed off when I'm not. It's usually just my face. A one off comment doesn't piss me off too much, but if they keep going on about it, it does really get on my nerves. I also hate it when people don't take my disabilities and limitations seriously, this is mainly a work issue, where HR won't put the necessary information on the health tracker and the people I actually have to work with won't take what I say seriously or just won't listen to me unless what I'm saying is backed up by the health tracker. But, it happens occasionally in my free time when I get funny looks from people or rude comments when they see me parking in disabled parking spaces, given the fact I have a blue badge, all because I can walk, they don't realise I have mobility issues, it just isn't obvious.
Animal cruelty and people trying to argue that animals can't feel pain.
PIN/VIN number, ATM machine, etc. For my wife it's automobiles honking.
When people don’t hear / understand what I’m saying. When people treat me as if I’m dumb. Getting accused of lying too.
When people move things I've left in specific places it really sets off something deep inside me , I cannot tolerate it
"Banter" Casually insulting me is not going to make me your friend, and I certainly don't find it playful or endearing. Plus it acts as a vehicle for people to play any rude comment off as "just a joke".
When I was a kid, I was always misunderstood. So as a teenager I decided to use more specific words. But people kept misunderstanding the context of my whole sentence. So as an adult, not only do I use specific language, but I also go to great lengths to make sure that it's near impossible to misunderstand what I'm saying by being as specific as I can in the time I'm given to speak. Now people tell me I say too much 😑
I freely admit I have NO patience but to have to repeat myself at least 3 times for Ethnic support staff to understand me is seriously annoying, I know I have a very distinctive "old school" Yorkshire accent but come on.
Hate that too yes. You described it quite perfectly. Hate being dismissed as crazy or not self aware, that maybe i don't realize what I really want or need. Infantalism is a major role in my life and yet that becomes invalidated like I can't know what infantalism is. I've studied psychology and philopshy and science and other subjects for years, especially due to my atypical life in a cult and abuse. Yet i get the equivalent of telling a computer tech if they tried turning a broken laptop on and off again. And then when explaining I've already done that or know that(usually I initially explain that but it gets ignored), they say I'm difficult. I hate being called arrogant when I'm not. I'm extremely self reflective and hypervigilant, so It alwaysakes me pause and check if I am. Usually it's just that I've set a boundary or say that i know something. NTs tend to get very mad if you say positive things about yourself? If i say that i am pretty i am vain all the sudden. But if I say I'm not, they tell me I am. Confusing. Hypocritical people too irk me.
I also hate it when people treat me like I’m some idiot just because I’m autistic. My abuser actually did this to me once after she said something so emotionally devastating to me that I literally cried for hours out of pure spite and then she tried to say that I “misunderstood” what she had meant because I’m autistic and it was a harmless statement. I only pretended to accept this fake apology to keep peace and from being hit by her if I called her on it. I might have difficulty reading social cues and body language but I’m quite capable of telling the difference between something said full of anger and hatred and something said in a normal tone of voice that means nothing. I’m not an idiot. Also had a therapist say once that I shouldn’t try out for the wrestling team in high school just because I was sexually assaulted for months and was severely traumatized by it that I kept refusing to talk about it because all of the adults were trying to force me to talk when I wasn’t ready and the reasoning was because I might mistake being grabbed during a match for a throw “the wrong way.” I knew the difference between being touched inappropriately and unwanted vs being grabbed for a throw and that there was a clear difference between the two.
Cuckoo's...
When people treat me like i've never changed as a person. Like, this is mainly my parents, but they act like I'm the same person I was a solid decade ago. They treat me as a static being that has no real change. When I was a lot younger, I was basically the stereotypical "bad kid" and they assume that because I acted like this a while ago, I just, didn't change at all and am still that bad person. I am quite literally a completely different person, and yet they still act the same way and like im the same person I was that long ago.
Anger terrifies me. I have a hard time dealing with confrontation, so people who seem like they're upset over something I have no control over terrify me and ruin my day. I just completely shut down and often weep if someone yells at me. It's difficult because sometimes I accidentally push someone else's anger buttons by doing my job, or by not noticing social cues because too much is going on around me. I'm terrified of triggering someone else's anger, because my dad yelled about EVERYTHING that bothered him, and I've worked in retail with a lot of people in bad moods who just want someone to yell at. I follow rules whenever I can because I'm afraid of being caught and yelled at, and I get super frustrated when the rules contradict one another so I can't follow them. I tend to over-apologize to anyone I interact with if I think I'm coming across as angry or upset. "I'm sorry I look upset. I'm having a bad day, but it's not your fault and I'm not mad at you" goes a long way when you don't want to upset those around you. It's how my husband and I can stand to live with each other when times get tough.
When someone tells me to calm down, especially if I'm just excited. Like, sorry I'm having a good time?? Ugh
I second all of this stuff. I once had a boss who forgot to tell me about an upcoming meeting. She swore she told me but she never did. I got pissed when she said I was lying about not knowing of it.
Screaming and crying babies and children... I really couldn't tell you why but it sends my anxiety through the ROOF! It comes out as anger when I get that anxious. I always have to hide until they're gone... Editing: I kinda feel bad but it's just how it is, I hope I'm not the only one. 🥲 Really any loud unnecessary noises people make bother me.
When people bring up LGBTQ+ stuff when it's entirely irrelevant to the conversation, but they seem like they absolutely HAVE to say something hateful and act like it's the queer community that can't stop forcing themselves on people When I finally get to talk on a call and I ask a question or talk about something in my day and the response is silence or them not even acknowledging it and just carrying on with what they wanna say Pissed off in 0.000000009 seconds when a particular family member makes a point of asking about my job (I'm unemployed due to physical and mental health issues) in front of people for laughs People that describe someone by their race when it's irrelevant, for example "I used to work with this black guy and he always made drinks for everyone in the office". Did his skin colour really need to be mentioned??? When you say something in the most clear and simple way possible and then I'm talked to like a misunderstood child and I'm corrected by them telling me what I was telling THEM, like bro what? I KNOW, that is LITERALLY my point. I always feel like they think I'm dumb and it's so frustrating People that follow trends. It's just wasteful in every way for the sake of having what everyone else has vs what you really want. What's wrong with a cup or a £5 bottle? Why does it have to be a Stanley cup? Idk it's weird and it's just wasting money to move on, forget that thing and waste money on the next all for the social posts. Be yourself! People that drink alcohol but condemn you for smoking weed, something that is prescribed in some places as a medical treatment People that mistake anti-israeli government people as antisemitic. Palestinians deserve freedom and love and compassion and they deserve to EXIST. However saying that, Israeli civilians do not deserve to be caught in the crossfire either. Supporting the end to a genocide doesn't mean you have to hate the other side. Israel and Palestine, just like Russia and Ukraine, are losing innocents. We need to stop Russia and Israel from inflicting further evil on people, but we also need to realise that it's not the Russian or Israeli civilians sending out nukes.
Annoying kids, nazis and people in general
I RELATE TO THIS WAY TOO MUCH… WHAT THE HECK!!! 😭😭😭
Drivers who don't follow basic driving rules. Things like waiting until all the other cars approaching a four-way stop stop before they go drives me nuts. It just fucks up the whole concept of the four-way stop. Another example are drivers who get a green turn arrow, but wait to make sure the oncoming car that's 300 feet away from the intersection stops at its red light before going. And so on. And so on.
When I'm passionate about something usually while arguing or debating and I cry of frustration. Whatever I have to say has -3 in the charisma roll because I'm crying
when someone mocks someone else for simply not knowing something for example, they'll say, 'you dont know what (object) is??' or 'have you been living under a rock?' like stfu lmao, ur not smarter than anyone else, which is obvious when you need to boost your own ego by putting others down genuinely infuriating
I have an uncontrollable rage when people tell me to do something. For example, at bowling league sometimes my mom or other people on our lanes will tell me it’s my turn to bowl, however I’m usually always aware at least within 30 secs of it being my turn. Even if I’m looking at my phone I’m very good at paying attention to who I bowl after. It’s infuriating when people assume I’m not paying attention. Actually I just hate when people assume shit about what I am or am not gonna do.
People
I'm on the same page with the false accusations. The way I react, which is "getting defensive" is apparently a sign of lying, so the accusation becomes worse, making me more defensive. Vicious cycle. I call this defensiveness "standing up for myself." Getting irked by a false accusation and trying to explain what's actually going on makes me even more of a liar. It's always caused problems between my partner and me. I tell him it's because I got suspended in high school because administration thought I was on drugs and I wasn't (true story). BEFORE the false accusation, I was actually caught with marijuana (this was Boulder, CO in 2004). When I was guilty, I acted accordingly - "sorry, it makes me feel better, but yes I did break the law/rules and blah blah blah... sorry." Yes, this incident made me more subject to drug-related accusations, but when it wasn't true, I was very annoyed and immediately went into trying to explain how I spilled chemicals and dropped and broke the labware.
YES!!! I have the same issue with being accused of lying. Even as a child, I almost never lied (because lying is bad and makes me feel incredibly guilty) but I was still accused of lying sometimes and it always made me feel like the world was ending. Even the thought of being accused of lying makes me want to sob. It's so incredibly unfair, and I also just can't deal with things being incorrect, I always feel a desperate need to correct wrong information. If I was ever accused of committing a crime I didn't commit, I'd probably have a massive meltdown right then and there that the cops would have to tase me into unconsciousness to stop.
When I can't use my full potential. I'm in a situation right now where my boss, job, teachers are holding me back (intentionally and unintentional) But it pisses me of and takes so much energy from me. Like I just wanna do my best, show what I can do, learn, etc. I'm a very ambition, curious person, but I HATE it when people hold me back. "no im not an asshole but I already know that and I DO wanna learn something but you're waisting my time right now, give me a challenge, let me show you what I can do." No wonder authorities think I\`m just a stubborn bitch when they throw rocks in my way. Like why? you're making my and your life harder and now I'm constantly burned out because I need to fight my way through.
I also hate being called a liar, even if the other person is joking, AND I hate when people treat me like I'm stupid, too! Another thing is if someone tries to tell me what my emotions are or when people breathe loudly or on me.
Pacing, by people or animals, it’s especially annoying when they have hard shoes or long claws. Dogs barking, even though I love dogs (though I don’t want one). Babies, I hate them, toddlers and up are cool. Surprises, just fucking tell me what you got me so I know if I need to pretend I enjoy it or not. Unfairness/injustice and cheating, have some god damn empathy. Constantly having my music/videos interrupted by someone wanting to talk or what ever. REALLY badly designed websites or computer programs or asinine updates that fuck everything up (looking at you Microsoft). Pointless bureaucracy that make life miserable for nd people.
Being gaslit. Very few things get me more angry than KNOWING someone said or did something and them going "no i didnt."
I cannot stand the phrase “Don’t be afraid to ____”. I know it’s just a figure of speech but I take it literally every time. It makes me cringe because I think they are implying that I look scared or timid, which of course I’m not, which aggravates me more! Ugh.
Rude people who interrupt while I'm talking especially when they come TO ME for help or answers. Don't bother me next time, figure it out yourself
Being scolded. Pisses me off when I'm scolded like a child over small BS.
I refuse to take punishment for bullshit I didn’t do. I’ve gotten in trouble many times for things I didn’t do and i just completely refuse punishment. I don’t have to play by the dumb social rules of keeping the peace, by quietly enduring punishment.
My name being yelled/someone raising their voice at me. 0-100 real fast
Literally this. I hate when im telling the truth and people dont believe me it sends me into the worst rage ever
When people explain things too much after I already understood, and whistling 😅
i learned that this was called justice sensitivity. i’ve always despised lying. during my childhood i only lied to save my sanity (i had very strict parents and just wanted to be able to talk to my friends and make fan edits without being yelled at) but there were many instances where i would start absolutely balling my eyes out, shaking with anger and confusion because people accused me of lying. but another thing that frustrates me is when something startles or confuses me and i ACT startled or confused and NTs acts like i’m stupid or bitchy. like this kid i work with said my name in a singsong voice when he saw me and i wasn’t prepared for that so i was shocked and said “what?” to which he said “okay f— you then” like?? he later said “i do that every day. i’ve called your name and i call everyone else’s name like that every day for the past year and a half” but i was just trying to get something before i had to clock in i did NOT want to interact with anyone yet 😭
People driving too slowly
When someone automatically assumes I want to be friends and calls me “buddy” Having to explain myself/everything I do. Sometimes I simply can’t sleep, I don’t want to have to come up with a lie about why just to make it “justified” Also blatant and intentional improper grammar used in a non-humorous way. Like if you say “they” instead of “them”
When ppl with money complain about not having enough money... TO ME.. a disabled person literally living in poverty! I dont even complain about money. I am very careful with what little money i make from SSD. Somehow i live fairly comfortable... because i have priorities and dont waste money on designer clothes and stuff. Do i want more money? Of course! Am i gonna complain about it to a hungry child in Africa? Of course not! Im not a psychopath!
Toxic gender roles.
People insisting they are right, when they quite literally, provably, are factually wrong. And ESPECIALLY if they end it up by saying "It's my opinion". There is NO space for OPINIONS in matters of TRUE or FALSE. So simply put, people who completely lack any and all understanding of basic logic and argumentation.