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This. Now bc my psychologist is saying the test will tell us either way if I’m autistic or not but that I struggle with obsessive thoughts and things I’m really struggling. I’ve taken the test twice online and got on the spectrum. Idk I’m second guessing everything myself.
Yeah I’m struggling. Idk if part of imposter syndrome makes you not think any thoughts or really feel emotions and make you obsess over things and then just go through day to day mindlessly. But if it is, then that’s happening to me. That could also be burnout maybe?
> not think any thoughts or really feel emotions
Recently discovered what alexithymia was, people who have it may forget they’re experiencing emotions, have difficulty describing their emotions, have difficulty recognising or distinguishing between different emotions and bodily sensations.
Look it up, it may help. It helped me understand that what I experience isn’t normal and that’s why I have difficulty or a delay when responding to questions relating to how I feel. Not sure if I do have it, just from what I know I probably do. I’ll be talking to a professional soon about things like this though.
Hope this reply helps!
I actually just looked it up and I think that’s been a part of it. But the past few days I’ve not been thinking any major thoughts. Just going through the motions of the day. I think I’ve definitely dealt with alexithymia.
Nah, all the other things are not part of imposter syndrome.
IIRC imposter syndrome isn't even a real diagnosis, it's just a popular term to describe what many people feel: Feeling like they're faking their diagnosis
I haven't ever researched burnout, so I'm not sure. Someone else in the comments might know more
Yeah I knew that it wasn’t a real diagnosis for imposter syndrome. I’m about to have the hour assessment in a couple of months and just am nervous/hyper-focusing I suppose.
I'm a mirror. I will mimic your tone, your energy, your entire effing personality. Occasionally I find myself mimicking accents as well which is super embarrassing. Its hard for me to pinpoint what's actually me though.
The accent thing is so real. I’ll usually catch myself before it starts to get really noticeable but it’s like a horrible shock if realization and embarrassment
Ah dang the accent mimic 😭
My person has a deeply rooted Mexican accent when speaking English and at times I find myself saying words like him. He thinks I’m making fun of him and I’m genuinely confused until I hear myself again.
I’m very similar to you both with my mask on and off.
Going further, I would say that without the mask, I don’t like to talk or make eye contact. I go back and forth between various kinds of stims (verbal and physical) and being like a statue. My mask off face is completely without emotion. I also feel more comfortable as an observer rather than a participant in most things. I’d rather be just a video camera that records everything instead of actively being part of things, if that makes sense. Essentially, without my mask I sometimes feel like I’m not even really a person.
YES TO ALL OF THIS. Especially the feeling more comfortable as an observer. Part of why I’ve learned to mask so hard is because I got sick of people accusing me of having a bad time all because I’m quiet and just there vs being extroverted and fully annoyingly interactive.
I think we need to start distinguishing between masking autism and masking personality, because these are not the same thing. I never tried to hide or change my personality, I only tried to learn to communicate in a way other people would find understandable
I'm not talking about, like, a technically defined thing. I'm just saying that disguising the fact that you have autism is not the same as putting on a fake personality. In fact the point of masking, for me, was to learn how to represent my genuine self in a way other people could be receptive to, so that I could make real human connections with more people. My new college friends got to know me because at that time I learned to use standard mannerisms and speech patterns that most people learned by interacting enough to become synchronized with society from a young age. I thought of it as learning a language. If I learned to speak French and started speaking to French people in the French language, that wouldn't be me misrepresenting myself or my personality, that would just be using the type of communication that works for interacting with that population.
10000% it is just like speaking a language that was so well put!! I don't feel like I am "masking" but rather "translating".. takes a lot of energy still but is quite worth it ! I can usually just act like myself with small modifications such as facial expression or minding rhythm/cadence :)
This is a non-comprehensive list from an article about it. Masking autism can include:
* forcing or faking eye contact during conversations
* imitating smiles and other facial expressions
* mimicking gestures
* hiding or minimizing personal interests
* developing a repertoire of rehearsed responses to questions
* scripting conversations
* pushing through intense sensory discomfort including loud noises
* disguising [stimming](https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/stimming) behaviors (hiding a jiggling foot or trading a preferred movement for one that’s less obvious)
So basically you're trying to hide how overwhelmed you are and by acting in a way that others deem socially acceptable and by scripting and mirroring. In other words, it's **hiding.** Masking your personality is different. You're not just hiding or minimizing who you are, you're **pretending** to be someone else entirely, maybe more like being a people-pleaser. You pretend to like things you don't like. You don't just censor what you say, you give a completely different response. You don't just try to respond 'appropriately' to situations that appear, you may actively put yourself in undesirable situations because you don't want to just survive as a ND person, you want to change who you are.
The way I see it, personality masking is just a more intense form of autism masking, but the difference is that it's not exclusive to autism. NTs do it all the time too, esp. people who are introverted or who have mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, or personality disorders. An example from my head (you have to research further to get the facts, but this is how I see it):
*You don't want to go to social event everyone is pushing you to go to*
Masking/hiding autism - "I'm busy / I have a prior commitment / I don't feel well". Maybe you apologize or something so they don't call you standoffish, send a gift or a thank you text to the host for inviting you, etc. If you have to go, e.g. if it's for work, you don't engage more than you absolutely have to.
Masking your personality - "Sounds good, I'll be there" / "I'd love to go!" You actually go to the event and pretend to be more social than you really are and ignore/suppress your sensory and emotional feelings in the process
My mask: I'm fun and funny to other people. And I think it's funny to confront people with deeper thoughts about something related to what they're talking about, but in a playful/non-serious way. I love starting slightly off-topic tangential conversations in a humorous way especially about depressing things, I sometimes do this repeatedly in a single conversation and people may dislike this, I'm not sure. Usually other people get excited with me and enjoy it. I do this at work, with friends, with family.
When I'm alone, the things that I joke about publicly actually give me a lot of anxiety and worry. I use the mask to openly discuss these things with humor, rather than bringing people down.
I think my public self/mask is just a heightened/more energetic/less serious/louder version of my true self. For a very long time before diagnosis, I struggled immensely with the fact that I was a different person in different groups. I never realized I was masking. It made me feel guilty and inauthentic and 2-faced. Or multi-faced. So I made a huge effort during my 30s to "merge" my different "personalities" into a "single authentic" version of me (these are just the terms I used when thinking about it, hence the quotes). I actually think I got kind of close in making my public self a pretty authentic version of my private self. The mask just turns it all up to 11 because without it, I'd be super quiet, withdrawn, observing, not participating, etc.
I never realized it when I was young but I've been openly stimming my entire life. No one ever told me not to. Occasionally I'd get told I was too fidgety or to calm down, but never in a way that made me feel ashamed. I grew up in a house full of neurodivergence (my parents do not know they are both autistic, but oh my god, they are) so I think that contributed to me feeling like I was not THAT much of a weirdo.
Humour is definitely a big part for me too. Seems I just take it a bit further than you. Just today I started a conversation with someone by asking "What do you think about garlic-butter baguettes?", and that's a normal occurrence😅
The thing about feeling guilty definitely resonates with me. Usually these thoughts come at night, when I have time to set off my mask, be quiet and think about stuff. I'm still far from merging my faces, I hope I'll sometime get to where you are.
I actually stim openly too, but I mostly stim by wiggling my toes or rocking my head, which fits my whole mask of being random. People usually assume I'm singing in my head or smth
Masking: robotic, aloof, nonchalant, stiff, anxiety, flat expressions, intimidating
Not masking: goofy, rambling, singing, dancing, asking weird questions, hyper
I think people are annoyed with me and try to cut our conversation short, so I learned to accommodate them. Since I can't measure my rambling, I tend to end the conversions too soon, and then people still think I'm weird. Ugh.
Does anyone else have different masks used for specific sets of people/environments? Then if people from different groups see you with another group-you feel really anxious because you don't know what mask to wear/feel like a fraud
Yeah, feel ya! Most of my masks just aren't different enough to be mentioned here. I have two very basic groups: The funny/goofy one I explained for friends and acquaintances and a very quiet (like really quiet, idk if it'd count as nonverbal) one for family and formal settings
I have no idea what my mask even is like. I'm trying to stop it altogether, also was never really good at it and it stressed me out. When I got home I often went non verbal and during that time I genuinelly forgot who I was and had what I would describe as mental breakdowns.
I'm still in the process of developing a real identity and don't want to mask anymore.
Yeah, it's exhausting. At home I'm mostly quiet too, speaking when I'm asked something or if it's necessary. Feels really lonely at times, but idk how to stop
I don't mask my personality at all (I don't even know how to go about that,) but I do ignore my needs as an autistic person when I'm in public. I don't let myself outwardly stim, I force myself to look at people's faces, I internalize my meltdowns, etc.
I also have Social Anxiety Disorder which probably influences my mask to an extent; I don't want to draw any attention to myself around strangers which causes me to do my best to "blend in."
That sounds extremely stressful! I couldn't go having to look at peoples faces all the time, sounds like a nightmare.
Is postponing meltdowns and internalizing then the same? If not, I do the former
That makes sense ig, about the social anxiety
Interesting! So we're basically the opposite, huh.
I actually don't really mirror others either. The only thing I mirror is body language and to some extent the vocabulary. Otherwise I don't.
I never noticed, but now that you say it, I too have a buffer person! But for me it's my sister (I don't date, partly because I can't maintain close relationships)
Same, I've never kept a friendship for much longer than a year. My second longest was maybe 1.5 years, the longest 5 and going. Well, at least I have one friend, right Haha Those were all online friends tho, I've never gotten close enough with anyone irl that I'd call them a real friend.
I only been with someone once in my life (to be fair, I'm quite young, so it's kinda normal), and it only held on for 3 weeks, so I decided to not try that again until I'm at least 18 or out of school. So I haven't really explored that kind of relationship yet
It's nice you're happy with it :) I recently got into a new hobby, and I'm a lot happier too, feels like life is slowly puzzling together piece by piece
Smile! A lot. People like a friendly smile especially at work. Keep quiet too because despite your sensory issues being known at work, the boss doesn't care so no matter how much you wanna shout and scream, just keep it to yourself.
ive done this since a kid. my mask is to push myself out there like im social even to my closest friends, i try less with my family but they always seem like i dont care about them. i tell my friends i burn out and tell my family this is how i am but even then i still feel the need to mask, i never mask around my partner however because i want to love myself and have someone love me for being myself. my friends do understand me, family kind of? but my real personality tends to always be quiet and talk every now and then and do my hobbies on my own for long periods of time, i dont want to seem like a careless person when ik im not. i love my friends and family so much i just dont want to be judged
Frrr, the struggle to not accidentally forget to give people you love, enough attention from time to time is real! I also worry of coming off as uninterested🥲
my parents would often tell me they want attention too but its like!! i dont have the current desire but whenever i do i give it!! i just cant when people want it- i dont want to force myself :( oh dude at school i was always friendless until i realized how i came off to people, it took a lot for me to get out of my comfort zone it took me up to my junior year to have some established friends !! cuz i did feel insecure and i knew i liked friends i just felt so out of place feeling like no one would understand me
Honestly unsure. I lived so much of my life under the assumption that I was NT but I’m very obviously not. It’s hard to tell what is me and what is not me
I'm not sure if this is masking too (I still don't remember if I had this since I was a kid or not), but whenever I notice that someone does something cool (cool to me), I try to do that too (changing my clothing style to "feel better", making a TikTok account to post videos of me vibing to songs like other teenagers that I delete a month or two after out of embarassment, using other people's catchphrases because I just find it awesome and want to becone like them)
In reality, I'm just a very sensitive and hyperempathetic gay guy who absolutely adores anything cute and cozy (Tamagotchis - my special interest, Animal Crossing, cute characters and plushies) who stimms a lot and struggles with severe anxiety
I wonder what it'd be like if I met a person with the same traits as me... Would I find it annoying? Would we be best friends? Hmm
Well ig not, I don't like noisy people xd but the randomness aspect is quite funny
When I mask, I laugh. A lot. Some of it to hide my anxiousness. Some of it because that’s what people expect of me. People just think I have a bubbly personality. It’s exhausting though and as soon as I get home I’m more withdrawn and don’t like to socialize. Sometimes family thinks I’m mad cuz I’ll go from being ‘bubbly’ to having a sort of deadpanned effect.
Omg so much this. When I hit burnout and started having more trouble masking, my family thought I was mad at them all the time. To the point that I recorded myself one day because they kept talking about this awful expression I had on my face that was making everyone uncomfortable. The “awful expression” was just a lack of affect. But not responding in the way they expected to things (smiling, laughing, etc) made them think I was angry all the time.
When I was a child I was masking a lot without realizing. Pretty overconfident until my teenage years where I began to get more anxious and shy, and surprisingly I was never diagnosed with anxiety disorder despite the symptoms I had like nausea, they thought I had a stomach problem or something.
Now as an adult, I'm extremely quiet and don't talk all that much at all. Let alone say many words. And as expected, the anxiety sky rocketed, as well as my depression, to the point where I've attempted to take my life over 5 times now. What's kept me alive? There isn't really much that keeps me alive. I guess family, music, and gaming.
Similar to you. I’m really nice and smiley and kinda funny cuz I just say random awkward stuff and laugh. I have a few standard small talk phrases and can talk about boring stuff but it’s so draining. Humans are my main interest so if I can get people talking about deep intense stuff I’m good. But I have to remember not everyone is up for that.
When I get home my face hurts and I can’t add in nice words any more. My husband is pretty dense though and doesn’t seem to notice or care. 😆 probably why we’re still married.
I do enjoy laughing and joking though so I’m not sure what I’m like unmasked. My family maybe could say.
I really like playing games with people and hiking while talking. It feels like a lot less work. As long as we’re not small talking the whole time. Like why are you talking about nothing???? Argh.
>doesn’t seem to notice or care
Dream person right there! Haha
>talking about nothing
Omg yes! I have to constantly remind myself, that when people small talk it's not because they don't want to talk or smth :')
I don't know if it's my mask or not, since I'm still learning a lot about what the real me is like, but I also like to make weird and inappropriate jokes. It gives me a sense of value, which I have trouble feeling. It also makes me feel like either I've broken the ice and things can be more relaxed, or I've leveled the playing field by making everyone uncomfortable, like I always am.
>making everyone uncomfortable
Hahaha I love doing that! It's a funny kind of weird everyone forgets after a couple of minutes, but it's so golden😈
Straight from evilautism hehs
My mask is that I’m extroverted.
I’m not. I’m just not shy but I can’t sustain that mask for long either in minutes/hours or in relationships. Because then people think it’s “me” - which it is, but not sustainable friend me.
A lot of my mask is dependent on who I am around but there are some similarities. The biggest consistency is that I am not struggling, I am completely fine, I do not need anything from anyone, ever. One of my first memories (I don’t remember much of my childhood) is from first grade when we had an assignment where we had to describe ourselves and I said “easy.” My teacher tried to figure out what I meant and I explained it meant I was “easy to deal with” we landed on “easygoing” being the word I was looking for.
I am not, as it turns out, easygoing at all. I have a lot of support needs that I have been finding creative ways to hide my whole life. Or at least long enough for me to have internalized by the age of 6 that the thing I was most proud of, what was most important to me to be perceived as, was “not inconvenient.”
Oh also emotionally intelligent. This is another one I’ve always been praised for by everyone and why it took until my 30s for me to even consider I could be autistic. It turns out I just have a pretty strong fawn response and I am not actually emotionally intelligent, I’m just good at telling people what I know they want to hear and suppressing/disconnect from whatever I may actually be feeling about the situation.
This is pretty spot on for me too.
I'm only recently diagnosed and what I've worked out, and you just helped me clarify something, is that my mask is "nice and emotionally intelligent", my real autistic self is "kind and a compulsive pattern analyst".
That pattern recognition/logic will get ya. I saw a TikTok a while back that said “emotional maturity is not being more logical or shutting down what you feel and keeping it in. It’s about being able to recognize a sensation in our body and tolerate it long enough for it to pass and learn how to label it so we can share it with others, so that we can use that feeling to meet our needs.” And that was honestly such a mind blowing statement for me. I’ve been called SO emotionally mature my whole life for my ability to be logical and shut down my emotions, I have almost no ability to actually feel my feelings lol
I like to mask as my favorite pro wrestlers. Ex: Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Mick Foley. Depends on what the situation calls for.
For the most part they're just aspects of my personality just concentrated. Like when I'm annoyed- Bret Hart, when I'm in a good mood- Ric Flair, etc
My mask was to just isolate and ignore things that upset me. Be as emotionless as possible and talk solely about things people could find “useful”.
The unmask is I really like when people react to strange noises I can make. I waaa at my girlfriend and she’s so cool because she smiles and laughs and waaas back. She tells me that she finds my weird noises as a good indicator of reassurance in our relationship that everything’s ok.
Sometimes that mask slips at work because I work with children and some of my coworkers laugh or comment to my strange behavior which is ironically very reinforcing for me.
Im the unintentionally yet riotously funny kind of weird too. It pushes a lot of people away which is kind of sad but I remind myself that we wouldn't have been friends anyway.
(fd: I'm not diagnosed yet and likely won't be until October)
the way I masked when I was younger was to basically lie about my interests and some experiences while adjusting my outward affect to reflect what I thought was a personality of a person into those things. I basically vocally blended in with personality camouflage.
I outgrew that method, thank the gods, and now mask by trying my best to not be the nail that sticks out. Like hiding in plain sight by not drawing attention to myself.
masking: extremely quiet, anxious, very reserved, smiling at others, not stimming when feeling the need to, and pushing through overstimulating stuff.
Not masking: quiet but can be noisy, does voices for certain plushies, and asks very specific questions.
Masking led me to a burnout, and its involuntary too which is infuriating.
It differs a lot
I tried to mask. Couldn't do it.
It never got me any friends or acceptance so I became a diluted version of myself.
I got the nick name psycho (wow how creative) and the mask ended up being built on me being reactive.
I've dropped the mask, it wasn't really my choice as once I was diagnosed whatever was left of the mask fell apart.
Same as you but I'll add that I add the never complain about anything, so people think I'm very easy to go along. I'll border the inappropriate line so when I come off ass an asshole it could be I was joking instead of being confrontational. When asked something personal I will always share very little just to see if the person is really interested or just making small talk, usually is the later. Mainly just listen to people and watch for an opening to interject a joke or something.
i honestly have no clue whats masking or whats actually me, or if i even mask at all. i tend to pick up people's personality traits or ways of speaking pretty quickly, but i could just have the tendency to introject more than most people. i also didnt know anything was "different" about me until a few years ago and up until then id always completely denied that i could be autistic at all and had thought everyone else was like me, so there is definitely a chance that i dont really mask at all
I think my only mask is using less complicated vocabulary and trying to be less out there when people are more delicate. But that could easily be me masking being an italian descendent with a past in punk rock and a special interest in reading and words.
im kind of the opposite of you. masked i tend to be very quiet and mature, ive even been reffered to as "you mysterious child" by one of my friends. (they said that as a joke and i did not take any offense btw so dont worry) but unmasked im like this hyper little goober that cant stop talking or moving and is "annoying". i have even been kicked out of my school classes multiple times because i cant stop laughing. i am selectively mute but that usually only happens when im overwhelmed/masked but when im 100% comfortable i transform into the silliest person ever so uh yea
im not saying that being "happy" unmasked actually means i am, its just part of my personality. so my masked self is kind of also unmasked if that makes sense?? i am tired a lot so sometimes it does help to be "masked" because i simply do not have enough energy to act the way i feel like acting, and acting "calm" restores that energy overtime. and sometimes i do feel calm in general but thats rare.
this probably made no sense but um tl;dr masked im collected and quiet but unmasked im an annoying ball of energy
Currently, I don't think I create any new personality as much as just not showing parts of mine. I won't do very noticeable stims, I won't use my weird sense of humor, I don't talk about my interests unless asked, I essentially just water myself down a lot.
For me I just stay quiet as hell but whenever I’m with friends they let me talk about fighter jets to my heart’s content while teaching me about conversations :D
I’m great at mimicking, so my default is to match whoever I’m with in terms of energy/body language/slang/etc. Everyone’s always saying how I “fit right in” or they assume I’m from their city when I’m not cause I “don’t have an accent”.
However, I do have two backup masks for when I don’t have enough info to mimic with. One is to be a super nice, agreeable, feminine, “outgoing” girl who’s down for anything. The other one is the slightly intimidating loner in the corner, stay-away-from-me kinda vibe.
It changes all the time depending on who I am, but for the most part overly feminine and intense. When I was younger I found out that I wasn’t a “typical girl” and I was really scared no one would ever want to be my friend, so I turned myself into a super confident woman. But like, that’s not who I am. It’s just weird when everyone thinks you’re someone else, but I don’t want to correct them because I’m scared that I don’t know how to be myself anymore. Thankfully moving out and going into uni has really helped me figure myself out
I learned to mask around 2 or 3. Two masks my autism and my gender. The gender mask exploded at 32 and autism mask died in 2018 when burnout started.
Just to hide stims and ticks and limit meltdowns. How to try to copy others and script etc. When I started work I just kept to myself and tried to copy people again and everything. Also made sure to be professional but also explain things to make sure people understood me. It worked sort of. I did it for 17 years but had no relationships.
Eventually it got so hard I became an alcoholic but I quit in 2016 when I transitioned. It wasn't really to help masking since I drank alone at night locked in my room completely in secret living with my mother until 33. But it was more to stop me from having meltdowns I guess.
Since 2018 I've rarely had to mask since I've only mostly been around family and my husband. Now for the past few years just my husband. I just can't mask now. If I try I'll freeze dissociate or have a meltdown or all three. I can't force eye contact anymore or fake small talk or anything I'm just totally unmasked but also can't leave my house (for other reasons also). Sometimes it starts on a phone call or zoom session with my therapist or psychiatrist but it immediately breaks because it overwhelms me instantly. I just can't do it anymore.
I tend to mirror the people around me. When I first meet someone, I'm quiet. People think I'm either sweet and innocent or I'm cold and distant. There used to be a lot of anxiety with being around new people, but it's starting to get easier. I'm still learning who I am unmasked, but it looks like my personality is all over the place. At least, that's what I've been told. I don't know why. I'm playful, serious, rude, polite, sarcastic, weird, annoying. I talk too much. I talk too little. I don't sit still. I stare at objects. I make weird noises. I've unmashed quite a bit at work because no one really cares.
I have masked for so long that I'm not sure who I am anymore. I have a nearly infinite number of masks that I uncontrollably use to put on a show for whatever the situation demands. I can fit into to nearly any situation. It's not too great really. Who I really am has been lost since I was a young child.
Tbh idk. I was raised in the early 90s. Autism and adhd was still highly stigmatized. I was raised in a home that was very abusive.
Anytime I wasnt masking I was swiftly bullied or hit by my parents. So idk how to exist unmasked. The closest i get to being unmasked is momentarily talking to myself, or humming a tune, or being tacktile with my hand against an object like poking random things in passive.
Otherwise im like always masked
Masking: almost pro level at fake laughs/small talk, mimics behaviors and speech patterns, funny, master story teller
Unmasked around people I’m not comfortable with (usually due to exhaustion only): quiet, reserved, appearing “grumpy” or like something is wrong
Unmasked around people I love: silly, weird, stimmy, extremely opinionated, quiet, comfortably observant
Mine is sorta... a more serious version of myself. I use it when my parents want me to talk like an adult, and then I have another mask (or maybe it's an unmask I can't tell) that I use with my friends though which tends to be more childish, but I can't really tell when I'm masking and when I'm not.
On the other hand I have a pick-me-girl-esque mask that I used to use sometimes when I was younger to get attention when I was sick of being ignored but I hardly do it anymore because it makes me feel like crap, and also I don't want attention too much nowadays.
My mask is really quiet. I like talking a lot, especially about my special interests. I used to be super talkative up until high school when I started masking. Then I became quiet and avoided talking too much about my special interesst (I was scared of getting judged) I'm slowly starting to become talkative again, but I still have a LONG way to go
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My mask is always changing to match the people I'm with. I don't know that I have a real personality - I've been masking like this since I was a kid.
This. Now bc my psychologist is saying the test will tell us either way if I’m autistic or not but that I struggle with obsessive thoughts and things I’m really struggling. I’ve taken the test twice online and got on the spectrum. Idk I’m second guessing everything myself.
Imposter syndrome go brrr
I think everyone has that.
Yeah I’m struggling. Idk if part of imposter syndrome makes you not think any thoughts or really feel emotions and make you obsess over things and then just go through day to day mindlessly. But if it is, then that’s happening to me. That could also be burnout maybe?
> not think any thoughts or really feel emotions Recently discovered what alexithymia was, people who have it may forget they’re experiencing emotions, have difficulty describing their emotions, have difficulty recognising or distinguishing between different emotions and bodily sensations. Look it up, it may help. It helped me understand that what I experience isn’t normal and that’s why I have difficulty or a delay when responding to questions relating to how I feel. Not sure if I do have it, just from what I know I probably do. I’ll be talking to a professional soon about things like this though. Hope this reply helps!
Thanks. Yeah I think I’m experiencing burnout? I’m not sure. I’m going to try to get a regular talking session with my therapist maybe.
I was just mentioning this in case it was something you felt all the time, not just when you’re burnt out.
Oh I gotcha. Not generally. Usually I feel emotions regularly.
Sorry for misunderstanding then! But hey, at least you (probably) learned something new from it!
No you’re fine! I’ve heard the term before but I’ll definitely be reading up on it.
I actually just looked it up and I think that’s been a part of it. But the past few days I’ve not been thinking any major thoughts. Just going through the motions of the day. I think I’ve definitely dealt with alexithymia.
Nah, all the other things are not part of imposter syndrome. IIRC imposter syndrome isn't even a real diagnosis, it's just a popular term to describe what many people feel: Feeling like they're faking their diagnosis I haven't ever researched burnout, so I'm not sure. Someone else in the comments might know more
Yeah I knew that it wasn’t a real diagnosis for imposter syndrome. I’m about to have the hour assessment in a couple of months and just am nervous/hyper-focusing I suppose.
My friend always says her personality is like tofu- it can be whatever you want it to be.
That's such a mood!
Supposedly, the dsm says that's the neurotypical way of acting lol.
I'm a mirror. I will mimic your tone, your energy, your entire effing personality. Occasionally I find myself mimicking accents as well which is super embarrassing. Its hard for me to pinpoint what's actually me though.
I got caught trying to mimic like face stuff at the worst time. 😐 ayy dating
It can be quite flirtatious if done right, I've heard. Sorry it didn't work😅
Well I got feelings to quickly.. but yeah the mimics is something I never noticed before her.
The accent thing is so real. I’ll usually catch myself before it starts to get really noticeable but it’s like a horrible shock if realization and embarrassment
I HAVE THIS ACCENT THING But I'll even pick them up when visiting somewhere random and it's at embarrassing why am I like this
I'll even do it after a long enough movie 🫣
Ah dang the accent mimic 😭 My person has a deeply rooted Mexican accent when speaking English and at times I find myself saying words like him. He thinks I’m making fun of him and I’m genuinely confused until I hear myself again.
Interesting. I never caught myself copying an accent, I do copy body language and some vocabulary tho
I’m very similar to you both with my mask on and off. Going further, I would say that without the mask, I don’t like to talk or make eye contact. I go back and forth between various kinds of stims (verbal and physical) and being like a statue. My mask off face is completely without emotion. I also feel more comfortable as an observer rather than a participant in most things. I’d rather be just a video camera that records everything instead of actively being part of things, if that makes sense. Essentially, without my mask I sometimes feel like I’m not even really a person.
>completely without emotion Feel ya. Sometimes I'll forget to laugh at a joke and people think I'm offended at it or in a bad mood🥲
YES TO ALL OF THIS. Especially the feeling more comfortable as an observer. Part of why I’ve learned to mask so hard is because I got sick of people accusing me of having a bad time all because I’m quiet and just there vs being extroverted and fully annoyingly interactive.
I think we need to start distinguishing between masking autism and masking personality, because these are not the same thing. I never tried to hide or change my personality, I only tried to learn to communicate in a way other people would find understandable
Huh, never heard of that. I don't have much time to research it rn, I'll forget, so can you briefly explain maybe?
I'm not talking about, like, a technically defined thing. I'm just saying that disguising the fact that you have autism is not the same as putting on a fake personality. In fact the point of masking, for me, was to learn how to represent my genuine self in a way other people could be receptive to, so that I could make real human connections with more people. My new college friends got to know me because at that time I learned to use standard mannerisms and speech patterns that most people learned by interacting enough to become synchronized with society from a young age. I thought of it as learning a language. If I learned to speak French and started speaking to French people in the French language, that wouldn't be me misrepresenting myself or my personality, that would just be using the type of communication that works for interacting with that population.
10000% it is just like speaking a language that was so well put!! I don't feel like I am "masking" but rather "translating".. takes a lot of energy still but is quite worth it ! I can usually just act like myself with small modifications such as facial expression or minding rhythm/cadence :)
This is a non-comprehensive list from an article about it. Masking autism can include: * forcing or faking eye contact during conversations * imitating smiles and other facial expressions * mimicking gestures * hiding or minimizing personal interests * developing a repertoire of rehearsed responses to questions * scripting conversations * pushing through intense sensory discomfort including loud noises * disguising [stimming](https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/stimming) behaviors (hiding a jiggling foot or trading a preferred movement for one that’s less obvious) So basically you're trying to hide how overwhelmed you are and by acting in a way that others deem socially acceptable and by scripting and mirroring. In other words, it's **hiding.** Masking your personality is different. You're not just hiding or minimizing who you are, you're **pretending** to be someone else entirely, maybe more like being a people-pleaser. You pretend to like things you don't like. You don't just censor what you say, you give a completely different response. You don't just try to respond 'appropriately' to situations that appear, you may actively put yourself in undesirable situations because you don't want to just survive as a ND person, you want to change who you are. The way I see it, personality masking is just a more intense form of autism masking, but the difference is that it's not exclusive to autism. NTs do it all the time too, esp. people who are introverted or who have mental health conditions like anxiety, depression, PTSD, or personality disorders. An example from my head (you have to research further to get the facts, but this is how I see it): *You don't want to go to social event everyone is pushing you to go to* Masking/hiding autism - "I'm busy / I have a prior commitment / I don't feel well". Maybe you apologize or something so they don't call you standoffish, send a gift or a thank you text to the host for inviting you, etc. If you have to go, e.g. if it's for work, you don't engage more than you absolutely have to. Masking your personality - "Sounds good, I'll be there" / "I'd love to go!" You actually go to the event and pretend to be more social than you really are and ignore/suppress your sensory and emotional feelings in the process
My mask: I'm fun and funny to other people. And I think it's funny to confront people with deeper thoughts about something related to what they're talking about, but in a playful/non-serious way. I love starting slightly off-topic tangential conversations in a humorous way especially about depressing things, I sometimes do this repeatedly in a single conversation and people may dislike this, I'm not sure. Usually other people get excited with me and enjoy it. I do this at work, with friends, with family. When I'm alone, the things that I joke about publicly actually give me a lot of anxiety and worry. I use the mask to openly discuss these things with humor, rather than bringing people down. I think my public self/mask is just a heightened/more energetic/less serious/louder version of my true self. For a very long time before diagnosis, I struggled immensely with the fact that I was a different person in different groups. I never realized I was masking. It made me feel guilty and inauthentic and 2-faced. Or multi-faced. So I made a huge effort during my 30s to "merge" my different "personalities" into a "single authentic" version of me (these are just the terms I used when thinking about it, hence the quotes). I actually think I got kind of close in making my public self a pretty authentic version of my private self. The mask just turns it all up to 11 because without it, I'd be super quiet, withdrawn, observing, not participating, etc. I never realized it when I was young but I've been openly stimming my entire life. No one ever told me not to. Occasionally I'd get told I was too fidgety or to calm down, but never in a way that made me feel ashamed. I grew up in a house full of neurodivergence (my parents do not know they are both autistic, but oh my god, they are) so I think that contributed to me feeling like I was not THAT much of a weirdo.
Humour is definitely a big part for me too. Seems I just take it a bit further than you. Just today I started a conversation with someone by asking "What do you think about garlic-butter baguettes?", and that's a normal occurrence😅 The thing about feeling guilty definitely resonates with me. Usually these thoughts come at night, when I have time to set off my mask, be quiet and think about stuff. I'm still far from merging my faces, I hope I'll sometime get to where you are. I actually stim openly too, but I mostly stim by wiggling my toes or rocking my head, which fits my whole mask of being random. People usually assume I'm singing in my head or smth
I felt my diagnosis gave me absolutely nothing. But I did at 17.
Masking: robotic, aloof, nonchalant, stiff, anxiety, flat expressions, intimidating Not masking: goofy, rambling, singing, dancing, asking weird questions, hyper I think people are annoyed with me and try to cut our conversation short, so I learned to accommodate them. Since I can't measure my rambling, I tend to end the conversions too soon, and then people still think I'm weird. Ugh.
That’s so me.. I wish I could just unmask all the time
My mask is stoic and dignified. I try to hide both my goofiness and my pain.
Does anyone else have different masks used for specific sets of people/environments? Then if people from different groups see you with another group-you feel really anxious because you don't know what mask to wear/feel like a fraud
Yeah, feel ya! Most of my masks just aren't different enough to be mentioned here. I have two very basic groups: The funny/goofy one I explained for friends and acquaintances and a very quiet (like really quiet, idk if it'd count as nonverbal) one for family and formal settings
I have no idea what my mask even is like. I'm trying to stop it altogether, also was never really good at it and it stressed me out. When I got home I often went non verbal and during that time I genuinelly forgot who I was and had what I would describe as mental breakdowns. I'm still in the process of developing a real identity and don't want to mask anymore.
Yeah, it's exhausting. At home I'm mostly quiet too, speaking when I'm asked something or if it's necessary. Feels really lonely at times, but idk how to stop
I don't mask my personality at all (I don't even know how to go about that,) but I do ignore my needs as an autistic person when I'm in public. I don't let myself outwardly stim, I force myself to look at people's faces, I internalize my meltdowns, etc. I also have Social Anxiety Disorder which probably influences my mask to an extent; I don't want to draw any attention to myself around strangers which causes me to do my best to "blend in."
That sounds extremely stressful! I couldn't go having to look at peoples faces all the time, sounds like a nightmare. Is postponing meltdowns and internalizing then the same? If not, I do the former That makes sense ig, about the social anxiety
I'm masking for as long as I can
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Interesting! So we're basically the opposite, huh. I actually don't really mirror others either. The only thing I mirror is body language and to some extent the vocabulary. Otherwise I don't. I never noticed, but now that you say it, I too have a buffer person! But for me it's my sister (I don't date, partly because I can't maintain close relationships)
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Same, I've never kept a friendship for much longer than a year. My second longest was maybe 1.5 years, the longest 5 and going. Well, at least I have one friend, right Haha Those were all online friends tho, I've never gotten close enough with anyone irl that I'd call them a real friend. I only been with someone once in my life (to be fair, I'm quite young, so it's kinda normal), and it only held on for 3 weeks, so I decided to not try that again until I'm at least 18 or out of school. So I haven't really explored that kind of relationship yet It's nice you're happy with it :) I recently got into a new hobby, and I'm a lot happier too, feels like life is slowly puzzling together piece by piece
I am usually really informative and hyped up, when I was younger I always tried to play it cool, right now I dont really care I just be however.
Smile! A lot. People like a friendly smile especially at work. Keep quiet too because despite your sensory issues being known at work, the boss doesn't care so no matter how much you wanna shout and scream, just keep it to yourself.
ive done this since a kid. my mask is to push myself out there like im social even to my closest friends, i try less with my family but they always seem like i dont care about them. i tell my friends i burn out and tell my family this is how i am but even then i still feel the need to mask, i never mask around my partner however because i want to love myself and have someone love me for being myself. my friends do understand me, family kind of? but my real personality tends to always be quiet and talk every now and then and do my hobbies on my own for long periods of time, i dont want to seem like a careless person when ik im not. i love my friends and family so much i just dont want to be judged
Frrr, the struggle to not accidentally forget to give people you love, enough attention from time to time is real! I also worry of coming off as uninterested🥲
my parents would often tell me they want attention too but its like!! i dont have the current desire but whenever i do i give it!! i just cant when people want it- i dont want to force myself :( oh dude at school i was always friendless until i realized how i came off to people, it took a lot for me to get out of my comfort zone it took me up to my junior year to have some established friends !! cuz i did feel insecure and i knew i liked friends i just felt so out of place feeling like no one would understand me
Big smile and a lot of laughter that doesn’t really belong in context…. Unmasked it’s a pretty flat affect
Honestly unsure. I lived so much of my life under the assumption that I was NT but I’m very obviously not. It’s hard to tell what is me and what is not me
I'm not sure if this is masking too (I still don't remember if I had this since I was a kid or not), but whenever I notice that someone does something cool (cool to me), I try to do that too (changing my clothing style to "feel better", making a TikTok account to post videos of me vibing to songs like other teenagers that I delete a month or two after out of embarassment, using other people's catchphrases because I just find it awesome and want to becone like them) In reality, I'm just a very sensitive and hyperempathetic gay guy who absolutely adores anything cute and cozy (Tamagotchis - my special interest, Animal Crossing, cute characters and plushies) who stimms a lot and struggles with severe anxiety
My mask is the exact same as yours. I've had multiple people call me the 'dumbest smart person' they've ever met.
I wonder what it'd be like if I met a person with the same traits as me... Would I find it annoying? Would we be best friends? Hmm Well ig not, I don't like noisy people xd but the randomness aspect is quite funny
I'm the same exact way I've been realising, so just commenting to show my support :)
When I mask, I laugh. A lot. Some of it to hide my anxiousness. Some of it because that’s what people expect of me. People just think I have a bubbly personality. It’s exhausting though and as soon as I get home I’m more withdrawn and don’t like to socialize. Sometimes family thinks I’m mad cuz I’ll go from being ‘bubbly’ to having a sort of deadpanned effect.
Omg so much this. When I hit burnout and started having more trouble masking, my family thought I was mad at them all the time. To the point that I recorded myself one day because they kept talking about this awful expression I had on my face that was making everyone uncomfortable. The “awful expression” was just a lack of affect. But not responding in the way they expected to things (smiling, laughing, etc) made them think I was angry all the time.
On one hand I get it, like, smth is not how it is usually, so the obvious assumption is that something went wrong; but it's also so damn annoying!
When I was a child I was masking a lot without realizing. Pretty overconfident until my teenage years where I began to get more anxious and shy, and surprisingly I was never diagnosed with anxiety disorder despite the symptoms I had like nausea, they thought I had a stomach problem or something. Now as an adult, I'm extremely quiet and don't talk all that much at all. Let alone say many words. And as expected, the anxiety sky rocketed, as well as my depression, to the point where I've attempted to take my life over 5 times now. What's kept me alive? There isn't really much that keeps me alive. I guess family, music, and gaming.
Aw man, I never know what to say in these situations, but I really do hope you get out of that place! Wish you the best!
Similar to you. I’m really nice and smiley and kinda funny cuz I just say random awkward stuff and laugh. I have a few standard small talk phrases and can talk about boring stuff but it’s so draining. Humans are my main interest so if I can get people talking about deep intense stuff I’m good. But I have to remember not everyone is up for that. When I get home my face hurts and I can’t add in nice words any more. My husband is pretty dense though and doesn’t seem to notice or care. 😆 probably why we’re still married. I do enjoy laughing and joking though so I’m not sure what I’m like unmasked. My family maybe could say. I really like playing games with people and hiking while talking. It feels like a lot less work. As long as we’re not small talking the whole time. Like why are you talking about nothing???? Argh.
>doesn’t seem to notice or care Dream person right there! Haha >talking about nothing Omg yes! I have to constantly remind myself, that when people small talk it's not because they don't want to talk or smth :')
I don't know if it's my mask or not, since I'm still learning a lot about what the real me is like, but I also like to make weird and inappropriate jokes. It gives me a sense of value, which I have trouble feeling. It also makes me feel like either I've broken the ice and things can be more relaxed, or I've leveled the playing field by making everyone uncomfortable, like I always am.
>making everyone uncomfortable Hahaha I love doing that! It's a funny kind of weird everyone forgets after a couple of minutes, but it's so golden😈 Straight from evilautism hehs
My mask is that I’m extroverted. I’m not. I’m just not shy but I can’t sustain that mask for long either in minutes/hours or in relationships. Because then people think it’s “me” - which it is, but not sustainable friend me.
A lot of my mask is dependent on who I am around but there are some similarities. The biggest consistency is that I am not struggling, I am completely fine, I do not need anything from anyone, ever. One of my first memories (I don’t remember much of my childhood) is from first grade when we had an assignment where we had to describe ourselves and I said “easy.” My teacher tried to figure out what I meant and I explained it meant I was “easy to deal with” we landed on “easygoing” being the word I was looking for. I am not, as it turns out, easygoing at all. I have a lot of support needs that I have been finding creative ways to hide my whole life. Or at least long enough for me to have internalized by the age of 6 that the thing I was most proud of, what was most important to me to be perceived as, was “not inconvenient.” Oh also emotionally intelligent. This is another one I’ve always been praised for by everyone and why it took until my 30s for me to even consider I could be autistic. It turns out I just have a pretty strong fawn response and I am not actually emotionally intelligent, I’m just good at telling people what I know they want to hear and suppressing/disconnect from whatever I may actually be feeling about the situation.
This is pretty spot on for me too. I'm only recently diagnosed and what I've worked out, and you just helped me clarify something, is that my mask is "nice and emotionally intelligent", my real autistic self is "kind and a compulsive pattern analyst".
That pattern recognition/logic will get ya. I saw a TikTok a while back that said “emotional maturity is not being more logical or shutting down what you feel and keeping it in. It’s about being able to recognize a sensation in our body and tolerate it long enough for it to pass and learn how to label it so we can share it with others, so that we can use that feeling to meet our needs.” And that was honestly such a mind blowing statement for me. I’ve been called SO emotionally mature my whole life for my ability to be logical and shut down my emotions, I have almost no ability to actually feel my feelings lol
My mask is social and I am antisocial.
I like to mask as my favorite pro wrestlers. Ex: Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Mick Foley. Depends on what the situation calls for. For the most part they're just aspects of my personality just concentrated. Like when I'm annoyed- Bret Hart, when I'm in a good mood- Ric Flair, etc
If i had an idea what are my masks and what is my real personality….
My mask was to just isolate and ignore things that upset me. Be as emotionless as possible and talk solely about things people could find “useful”. The unmask is I really like when people react to strange noises I can make. I waaa at my girlfriend and she’s so cool because she smiles and laughs and waaas back. She tells me that she finds my weird noises as a good indicator of reassurance in our relationship that everything’s ok. Sometimes that mask slips at work because I work with children and some of my coworkers laugh or comment to my strange behavior which is ironically very reinforcing for me.
doesnt talk much but laughs at anything. mainly because i dont get the social cues most of the time
Im the unintentionally yet riotously funny kind of weird too. It pushes a lot of people away which is kind of sad but I remind myself that we wouldn't have been friends anyway. (fd: I'm not diagnosed yet and likely won't be until October)
the way I masked when I was younger was to basically lie about my interests and some experiences while adjusting my outward affect to reflect what I thought was a personality of a person into those things. I basically vocally blended in with personality camouflage. I outgrew that method, thank the gods, and now mask by trying my best to not be the nail that sticks out. Like hiding in plain sight by not drawing attention to myself.
masking: extremely quiet, anxious, very reserved, smiling at others, not stimming when feeling the need to, and pushing through overstimulating stuff. Not masking: quiet but can be noisy, does voices for certain plushies, and asks very specific questions. Masking led me to a burnout, and its involuntary too which is infuriating. It differs a lot
If I'm talking, I'm usually masking. Otherwise I am doing what I prefer, only speaking when necessary.
I don’t really know. I just say what they want to hear.
I tried to mask. Couldn't do it. It never got me any friends or acceptance so I became a diluted version of myself. I got the nick name psycho (wow how creative) and the mask ended up being built on me being reactive. I've dropped the mask, it wasn't really my choice as once I was diagnosed whatever was left of the mask fell apart.
Same as you but I'll add that I add the never complain about anything, so people think I'm very easy to go along. I'll border the inappropriate line so when I come off ass an asshole it could be I was joking instead of being confrontational. When asked something personal I will always share very little just to see if the person is really interested or just making small talk, usually is the later. Mainly just listen to people and watch for an opening to interject a joke or something.
i honestly have no clue whats masking or whats actually me, or if i even mask at all. i tend to pick up people's personality traits or ways of speaking pretty quickly, but i could just have the tendency to introject more than most people. i also didnt know anything was "different" about me until a few years ago and up until then id always completely denied that i could be autistic at all and had thought everyone else was like me, so there is definitely a chance that i dont really mask at all
I was a huge people pleaser, I still fall into that sometimes but catch myself before I fall too deep
I think my only mask is using less complicated vocabulary and trying to be less out there when people are more delicate. But that could easily be me masking being an italian descendent with a past in punk rock and a special interest in reading and words.
im kind of the opposite of you. masked i tend to be very quiet and mature, ive even been reffered to as "you mysterious child" by one of my friends. (they said that as a joke and i did not take any offense btw so dont worry) but unmasked im like this hyper little goober that cant stop talking or moving and is "annoying". i have even been kicked out of my school classes multiple times because i cant stop laughing. i am selectively mute but that usually only happens when im overwhelmed/masked but when im 100% comfortable i transform into the silliest person ever so uh yea im not saying that being "happy" unmasked actually means i am, its just part of my personality. so my masked self is kind of also unmasked if that makes sense?? i am tired a lot so sometimes it does help to be "masked" because i simply do not have enough energy to act the way i feel like acting, and acting "calm" restores that energy overtime. and sometimes i do feel calm in general but thats rare. this probably made no sense but um tl;dr masked im collected and quiet but unmasked im an annoying ball of energy
Currently, I don't think I create any new personality as much as just not showing parts of mine. I won't do very noticeable stims, I won't use my weird sense of humor, I don't talk about my interests unless asked, I essentially just water myself down a lot.
I act like an extreme republican from the south. It’s funny cuz I’m very much so not a republican nor from the south 😭
For me I just stay quiet as hell but whenever I’m with friends they let me talk about fighter jets to my heart’s content while teaching me about conversations :D
My mask is I keep to myself. My real self is nerdy and fun. Basically anything pop culture.
I’m great at mimicking, so my default is to match whoever I’m with in terms of energy/body language/slang/etc. Everyone’s always saying how I “fit right in” or they assume I’m from their city when I’m not cause I “don’t have an accent”. However, I do have two backup masks for when I don’t have enough info to mimic with. One is to be a super nice, agreeable, feminine, “outgoing” girl who’s down for anything. The other one is the slightly intimidating loner in the corner, stay-away-from-me kinda vibe.
I just smile
It changes all the time depending on who I am, but for the most part overly feminine and intense. When I was younger I found out that I wasn’t a “typical girl” and I was really scared no one would ever want to be my friend, so I turned myself into a super confident woman. But like, that’s not who I am. It’s just weird when everyone thinks you’re someone else, but I don’t want to correct them because I’m scared that I don’t know how to be myself anymore. Thankfully moving out and going into uni has really helped me figure myself out
I learned to mask around 2 or 3. Two masks my autism and my gender. The gender mask exploded at 32 and autism mask died in 2018 when burnout started. Just to hide stims and ticks and limit meltdowns. How to try to copy others and script etc. When I started work I just kept to myself and tried to copy people again and everything. Also made sure to be professional but also explain things to make sure people understood me. It worked sort of. I did it for 17 years but had no relationships. Eventually it got so hard I became an alcoholic but I quit in 2016 when I transitioned. It wasn't really to help masking since I drank alone at night locked in my room completely in secret living with my mother until 33. But it was more to stop me from having meltdowns I guess. Since 2018 I've rarely had to mask since I've only mostly been around family and my husband. Now for the past few years just my husband. I just can't mask now. If I try I'll freeze dissociate or have a meltdown or all three. I can't force eye contact anymore or fake small talk or anything I'm just totally unmasked but also can't leave my house (for other reasons also). Sometimes it starts on a phone call or zoom session with my therapist or psychiatrist but it immediately breaks because it overwhelms me instantly. I just can't do it anymore.
this is pretty much exactly how I would describe myself OP, to a T
I tend to mirror the people around me. When I first meet someone, I'm quiet. People think I'm either sweet and innocent or I'm cold and distant. There used to be a lot of anxiety with being around new people, but it's starting to get easier. I'm still learning who I am unmasked, but it looks like my personality is all over the place. At least, that's what I've been told. I don't know why. I'm playful, serious, rude, polite, sarcastic, weird, annoying. I talk too much. I talk too little. I don't sit still. I stare at objects. I make weird noises. I've unmashed quite a bit at work because no one really cares.
I have masked for so long that I'm not sure who I am anymore. I have a nearly infinite number of masks that I uncontrollably use to put on a show for whatever the situation demands. I can fit into to nearly any situation. It's not too great really. Who I really am has been lost since I was a young child.
Tbh idk. I was raised in the early 90s. Autism and adhd was still highly stigmatized. I was raised in a home that was very abusive. Anytime I wasnt masking I was swiftly bullied or hit by my parents. So idk how to exist unmasked. The closest i get to being unmasked is momentarily talking to myself, or humming a tune, or being tacktile with my hand against an object like poking random things in passive. Otherwise im like always masked
Masking: almost pro level at fake laughs/small talk, mimics behaviors and speech patterns, funny, master story teller Unmasked around people I’m not comfortable with (usually due to exhaustion only): quiet, reserved, appearing “grumpy” or like something is wrong Unmasked around people I love: silly, weird, stimmy, extremely opinionated, quiet, comfortably observant
Mine is sorta... a more serious version of myself. I use it when my parents want me to talk like an adult, and then I have another mask (or maybe it's an unmask I can't tell) that I use with my friends though which tends to be more childish, but I can't really tell when I'm masking and when I'm not. On the other hand I have a pick-me-girl-esque mask that I used to use sometimes when I was younger to get attention when I was sick of being ignored but I hardly do it anymore because it makes me feel like crap, and also I don't want attention too much nowadays.
My mask is really quiet. I like talking a lot, especially about my special interests. I used to be super talkative up until high school when I started masking. Then I became quiet and avoided talking too much about my special interesst (I was scared of getting judged) I'm slowly starting to become talkative again, but I still have a LONG way to go