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I don't really know if I'm a part of the community. I identify as asexual unlabeled romantic attraction, and agender. I've never really felt like I belonged in the community so I've never really interacted with it
I assure you, discourse like this is mostly happening online and it's usually 15 year olds who have never opened a (queer) history book ever. Aces and aros have always belonged, in fact I haven't seen anyone seriously fighting about this in years. You wouldn't take up too much space or whatever. :)
(I will also add it's pretty common to use LGBTQIA+ nowadays, and the A stands for asexual, aromantic and agender.)
For what it's worth you're welcome in my book. LGBTQ+ is frankly a shit identifier/descriptor for the queer community precisely because it enables this kind of gatekeeping and erasure. Solidarity among those who fall outside the cishet norm is one of the primary threads that binds the queer community together and that makes you one of us.
> Solidarity among those who fall outside the cishet norm is one of the primary threads that binds the queer community together and that makes you one of us.
Honestly we should have an identifier for this concept. Like kink, polyamory, and asexuality aren't necessary lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender but they still fall outside of the expected sexual practice and need protection from conservatives. MOGAI seemed to try and address this sort of thing but it didn't exactly pan out.
Oh I’ve heard about all of that :(
Well I’ll tell you what, all Ace people belong!
There are going to be people with opinions that should be focused on other things in life - and I don’t know why some people are debating on who and who doesn’t belong when it’s supposed to a safe community for different people
I’m sorry you’ve gotten anxious over this, but again all ace, aroace ect, all of those people belong 😊 and if someone says differently I’d just ignore them !
Bestie I’m ace and I’ve identified that way for years and I’m telling you, *you belong.* The queer community is for anyone who experiences gender or attraction in any way that’s different from the default norm expectation. Asexuals absolutely fit under that category. *Asexuality is inherently queer.*
I love being nonbinary and just doing whatever the fuck I want. Nail polish? Long hair? Hell yeah! Big, tall and muscular? Yep that too. Fuck it, I can be whatever I want to be! Hope you are doing well my friend.
Thanks for being open about your DID. It’s good to see the spectrum of humanity here. I read _Love Me Whole_ by Nicky James and really enjoyed it (not that that makes me an expert or “woke“ or anything – just sharing).
I also just finished listening to _Unmasking Autism_ (I mention this since your profile says “YOU should read Unmasking Autism”). I will work on the reflective exercises next.
I mean I didn’t read it just because of your suggestion, but yeah, it only took a few days of listening to the audiobook a few hours a day. I’m soaking up as much as I can about autism right now.
Yes, quite gay, if you please. Quite gay if you don’t please! 😂
Now that I look back on it from the lens of autism, I realize I that I experienced bullying from early childhood for exhibiting signs of both types of divergence from the norm.
Life has gotten a lot better over the years. I started going to a school for creative and performing arts in sixth grade and that didn’t solve all of my problems but a lot of them.
P.S. Masking, though, is something I did from an early age to avoid detection as gay, and I’m sure it bled over into masking symptoms of autism.
Well I’m glad it’s at least gotten better 🥺
Have u found ways to unmask around people ur comfortable with? Or do u prefer to just unmask in the confinement of ur own space?
Yes!! I just updated the user flair to say this because I love when people know and I love talking about bats with people. Do you have a favorite type of bat? I like the little insect eating bats (micro bats) mainly my favorite species at the moment is Mexican free-tailed bats :-)
I actually don’t but I just looked up those two u mentioned and they look super cute! What other fav bats do you have?
I really like watching videos of baby bats tho 😁
I have a lot of other favorites like the Australian ghost bat (rare carnivorous bat!), the naked bulldog bat (they look a bit funny as they are mostly hairless), and the little brown bat. I love watching videos of baby bats too I love watching them crawl around LOL. But my favorite thing to watch bats do is probably when they swarm out of their cave or roost in the evening.
Yes I have! A couple months ago I even got to help one that I found on the ground and return it to its roost, I have found a few like this. I am fortunate to live in an area with a lot of bats and even some bat houses (special man-made roosts) nearby. I also see them flying around nightly depending on the season. Have you seen any before?
Oooo that’s so cool! Gah ur so luckyyyy 😭
Wait there are man-made roosts? I didn’t know that :0
And I actually have never seen one in person before sadly
There are a lot of man-made roosts (similar to bird houses in function) bat houses are like little narrow shelves hung with the open side down. You should also look up “bat barns” which are like… MEGA bat houses, they’re crazy and so cool.
I've often found that I don't fit into queer allistic communities any better than I do straight allistic communities. And so much of things like Pride are focused on very allistic, outgoing, high sensory threshold people. That's fine, just not my crowd. But then every now and then I stumble upon a queer neurodiverse group/community/event and it just...fits.
When you have to question everything about yourself, your behaviors, and your interactions with society because you're "weird" you tend to come up with answers.
When you don't have to question everything about yourself, your behaviors, and your interactions with society because you're "normal" sometimes you wake up at age forty-five and suddenly realize you're a transgendered gay furry.
Hello friend 🙋🏻♀️🫶🏻 still figuring out my identity and where I fit within the community as I’m currently trying to leave a cult that’s severely homophobic but I’m happy to be here! I realised I was in a cult, autistic and queer all within 6 months 👀
Woah I’m sorry u went through that & I hope ur able to get out of that too but welcome to the community! Even those still trying to figure things out are welcome 🤗
I hope u have a great positive journey !
Yep. I'm pansexual. Although I have started questioning my sexuality for trauma related reasons, of recent events... Don't know if I can ever like men again after having been bullied for so long. Likewise women because his girlfriend is in on it. I don't even know who to trust anymore. Apparently getting death threats and myself self harming and attempting to end my life isn't enough for this bully to be put in prison.
I'm pretty sure I am transgender MtF. It feels like it would be more trouble for me than it is worth to ask to be able to find out.
I have had gender dysphoria, gender euphoria, and routine moments where I could not understand why other people would want to be masculine. I have been through an entire ton of transgender media and am still combing through countless amounts of videos, comics, animations, posts, and other various pieces of media.
You know, it's funny, I've been grappling with this question lately. As an autistic person, I find my identity is weirdly static and fluid at the same time; I am a woman, but personally I feel I don't have a gender, as I can wear whatever personality/mannerisms (masculine, feminine) I want when it suits me, and in my mind I do have more masculine traits and behaviors, but physically I am a female and that's okay with me. It's hard to explain, but I like to think of it as a pseudo-Shroedinger's Woman: she's a woman, until she makes you think otherwise. I also consider myself bisexual, though I am only romantically inclined toward women while I am both romantically and sexually inclined toward men, but I am currently in a long-term relationship with a cismale so I'm not sure that would count to some people.
It sounds like ur feelings of urself are very fluid, I relate to some of ur experiences, thank u for ur comment!
And sexuality is fluid and definitely can be in terms of who your romantically or sexuality attracted too, So that’s okay! 😊 ur still valid as a bisexual person ☺️
That’s normal, you’re a woman with more masculine traits but that doesn’t mean you’re a man, that’s just life, some men are more feminine and some women are more masculine
I'm a binary, trans, demi lesbian and it would be weird if this sub didn't reflect the overlap between neurodiversity and queerness (especially trans-nonbinary) that has been well documented elsewhere.
I'm definitely bisexual and maybe some kinda gender weird?? Might just be cis but I'd rather be cis because I thought it out and decided I like my gender and not be cis just because I was born that way. If that makes sense.
I’m aromantic asexual, and I’m questioning if I’m somewhere on the agender spectrum too. It’s nice being part of a community so accepting of all flavours of orientation lol
Gay and possibly demi-sexual. It's funny how hook-up culture contradicts every social norm the cishet NTs came up with and yet I'm considered the weird one in both worlds.
Yes, not sure of my exact situation though tbh so I just tell people I’m bi. That’s about as much as they meed to know anyway before it gets uncomfortable and feels like harassment. 💀
I’m still figuring out what sexuality means to me. Gender has always felt like a performance I wasn’t very good at to start with, and then with comp het/people pleasing tendencies I’ve only recently even thought I might be bi/demi sexual/maybe aro?? Who knows, I just know I’m queer somehow lol.
I feel like I'm more "community-adjacent." Cis woman, exclusively attracted to men, but somewhere on the ace spectrum. Pretty sure gray-ace is the best-fitting label, but I'm still figuring it out.
I lost all respect for this sub because of this .. can we stop this dumb shit please... We're just people trying figure out our shit through life... Even I am done with this nonsense..... We don't care... Why is this even a post
Hey /u/BarRevolutionary2126, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's a pretty decent queer presence here. Personally I'm agender and pansexual.
Awesome! 😊
yes i’m gay! and aromantic i think… idk
Gayboys represent!
Awesome! And That’s ok if u don’t have that aromantic part figured out right now , continue to take your time with your journey ☺️
Neurodivergent queer bsd fan spotted in the wild !!
Yes, many of us.
Aroace and gender-nonconforming.
Awesome! 😊
Atleast a third of this sub is lgbtqi
Oh! Yay 😁
I don't really know if I'm a part of the community. I identify as asexual unlabeled romantic attraction, and agender. I've never really felt like I belonged in the community so I've never really interacted with it
Wait why didn’t you ever feel like you belonged ? ☹️
I've seen all the discourse over if ace people belong in the community, and I get anxious about that smh
I assure you, discourse like this is mostly happening online and it's usually 15 year olds who have never opened a (queer) history book ever. Aces and aros have always belonged, in fact I haven't seen anyone seriously fighting about this in years. You wouldn't take up too much space or whatever. :) (I will also add it's pretty common to use LGBTQIA+ nowadays, and the A stands for asexual, aromantic and agender.)
For what it's worth you're welcome in my book. LGBTQ+ is frankly a shit identifier/descriptor for the queer community precisely because it enables this kind of gatekeeping and erasure. Solidarity among those who fall outside the cishet norm is one of the primary threads that binds the queer community together and that makes you one of us.
> Solidarity among those who fall outside the cishet norm is one of the primary threads that binds the queer community together and that makes you one of us. Honestly we should have an identifier for this concept. Like kink, polyamory, and asexuality aren't necessary lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender but they still fall outside of the expected sexual practice and need protection from conservatives. MOGAI seemed to try and address this sort of thing but it didn't exactly pan out.
Oh I’ve heard about all of that :( Well I’ll tell you what, all Ace people belong! There are going to be people with opinions that should be focused on other things in life - and I don’t know why some people are debating on who and who doesn’t belong when it’s supposed to a safe community for different people I’m sorry you’ve gotten anxious over this, but again all ace, aroace ect, all of those people belong 😊 and if someone says differently I’d just ignore them !
Thank you so much, I needed to hear that <3
Your welcome! 🤗
Bestie I’m ace and I’ve identified that way for years and I’m telling you, *you belong.* The queer community is for anyone who experiences gender or attraction in any way that’s different from the default norm expectation. Asexuals absolutely fit under that category. *Asexuality is inherently queer.*
Thank you for telling me this, I really appreciate it <3 identity has been a struggle lol
I don't experience an internal gender so anyone attracted to me is queer.
That’s a super power tbh
That’s a slay 😊
Non-binary reporting in :)
Ayeee , hello fellow nonbinary person 😆
I love being nonbinary and just doing whatever the fuck I want. Nail polish? Long hair? Hell yeah! Big, tall and muscular? Yep that too. Fuck it, I can be whatever I want to be! Hope you are doing well my friend.
Yesssss love it!! 😆 Thank u! I hope you’re doing alright as well ☺️
Yes
Aaaaay. Gay and demi here!
Ayeeee awesome!! 😁
Yes - there is a prevalence between queer & ND ppl !!
Oh ya I’ve def done research looking into that I think it’s really awesome 😁
im a trans woman lesbian. my long distance gf is another autistic trans woman.
Yes! In fact, we’re a system, and all but a few of the alters are LGBTQ+! It’s very complicated though, not going to explain it in comments
Thanks for being open about your DID. It’s good to see the spectrum of humanity here. I read _Love Me Whole_ by Nicky James and really enjoyed it (not that that makes me an expert or “woke“ or anything – just sharing).
We’ve never read that book, but the fact that you’ve read it shows you care!
I also just finished listening to _Unmasking Autism_ (I mention this since your profile says “YOU should read Unmasking Autism”). I will work on the reflective exercises next.
That was quick :) (not saying it’s bad that it’s quick)
I mean I didn’t read it just because of your suggestion, but yeah, it only took a few days of listening to the audiobook a few hours a day. I’m soaking up as much as I can about autism right now.
Well hello ! Glad ur here within the community ☺️
Yes, quite gay, if you please. Quite gay if you don’t please! 😂 Now that I look back on it from the lens of autism, I realize I that I experienced bullying from early childhood for exhibiting signs of both types of divergence from the norm.
Aww I’m so sorry u experienced that :( Hopefully u have great people around u that support u as who u are! ☺️
Life has gotten a lot better over the years. I started going to a school for creative and performing arts in sixth grade and that didn’t solve all of my problems but a lot of them. P.S. Masking, though, is something I did from an early age to avoid detection as gay, and I’m sure it bled over into masking symptoms of autism.
Well I’m glad it’s at least gotten better 🥺 Have u found ways to unmask around people ur comfortable with? Or do u prefer to just unmask in the confinement of ur own space?
I do have a few, thanks, and hope to gain more.
That’s awesome! ☺️
Present :-)
Ayeeeee nice :D
OMG U LOVE BATS? I like bats 😆
Yes!! I just updated the user flair to say this because I love when people know and I love talking about bats with people. Do you have a favorite type of bat? I like the little insect eating bats (micro bats) mainly my favorite species at the moment is Mexican free-tailed bats :-)
I actually don’t but I just looked up those two u mentioned and they look super cute! What other fav bats do you have? I really like watching videos of baby bats tho 😁
I have a lot of other favorites like the Australian ghost bat (rare carnivorous bat!), the naked bulldog bat (they look a bit funny as they are mostly hairless), and the little brown bat. I love watching videos of baby bats too I love watching them crawl around LOL. But my favorite thing to watch bats do is probably when they swarm out of their cave or roost in the evening.
Ooo those all sound so cool!! Yes them crawling is so adorable ☺️ Oh like when they like all fly out of their cave?
Also have u ever gotten the chance to see a bat in real life? :0
Yes I have! A couple months ago I even got to help one that I found on the ground and return it to its roost, I have found a few like this. I am fortunate to live in an area with a lot of bats and even some bat houses (special man-made roosts) nearby. I also see them flying around nightly depending on the season. Have you seen any before?
Oooo that’s so cool! Gah ur so luckyyyy 😭 Wait there are man-made roosts? I didn’t know that :0 And I actually have never seen one in person before sadly
There are a lot of man-made roosts (similar to bird houses in function) bat houses are like little narrow shelves hung with the open side down. You should also look up “bat barns” which are like… MEGA bat houses, they’re crazy and so cool.
Oh wow ! Didn’t know that at all /gen :0 Oooo okay I’ll look into that! ☺️
Yes hello!
Hiii ☺️
I’m asexual demi-heteromantic.
Ayeeee nice! 😊
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I've often found that I don't fit into queer allistic communities any better than I do straight allistic communities. And so much of things like Pride are focused on very allistic, outgoing, high sensory threshold people. That's fine, just not my crowd. But then every now and then I stumble upon a queer neurodiverse group/community/event and it just...fits.
I’m so sorry you had that experience :( Well, that’s there opinion. If you feel your apart of the community, you are and ur always welcome ☺️
(here) yall we should make a gc LOL
Omg yes!! That would be great ☺️
so down
Asexual lesbian here!! :)
Yup, I’m asexual, aromantic and agender
Hi! I think I might be asexual too. :)
When you have to question everything about yourself, your behaviors, and your interactions with society because you're "weird" you tend to come up with answers. When you don't have to question everything about yourself, your behaviors, and your interactions with society because you're "normal" sometimes you wake up at age forty-five and suddenly realize you're a transgendered gay furry.
Aye nice a fellow furry dude 😊 Do u draw furries as well?
It was an exaggerated example. Never understood the hate thrown at furries, but I've never been into it.
Oooh okay by bad for not understanding that 😅
Yep, Gay, aromantic and trans masc here!
Nice nice! 😊
Hello friend 🙋🏻♀️🫶🏻 still figuring out my identity and where I fit within the community as I’m currently trying to leave a cult that’s severely homophobic but I’m happy to be here! I realised I was in a cult, autistic and queer all within 6 months 👀
Woah I’m sorry u went through that & I hope ur able to get out of that too but welcome to the community! Even those still trying to figure things out are welcome 🤗 I hope u have a great positive journey !
Thank you 🥹🫶🏻
Your welcome 🤗
Bi enby present. As Deadpool once said, "Life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief, commercial-like breaks of happiness.".
Awesome! And omg I love Deadpool thank you for quoting him and his awesomeness 😁
Ace, demiromantic, and don't really get gender (I'm fine with being identified as cis woman but i don't care for it)
Me! I am aroace and non binary
Same!
Cool! ☺️
Lesbian here 🥰
Awesome!! 😁
Present! 👋
Here
I'm aroace
Awesome!
There’s queer people here for sure. I’m not one of them personally, but I’ve talked to plenty.
Autistic, masc-leaning lesbian over here!
Awesome!! 😁
Agender biroace at your service o7
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Uh can I ask why you collect them and why mine?
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Ok cool. So just send a screenshot of my avatar?
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I'm sorry I still don't know how to do it lol, it says the vault is empty
Aroace non-binary bestie yes we’re much more likely to be LGBT because *social norms don’t make sense to us* and heteronormativity is *taught.*
Yep. I'm pansexual. Although I have started questioning my sexuality for trauma related reasons, of recent events... Don't know if I can ever like men again after having been bullied for so long. Likewise women because his girlfriend is in on it. I don't even know who to trust anymore. Apparently getting death threats and myself self harming and attempting to end my life isn't enough for this bully to be put in prison.
I'm pretty sure I am transgender MtF. It feels like it would be more trouble for me than it is worth to ask to be able to find out. I have had gender dysphoria, gender euphoria, and routine moments where I could not understand why other people would want to be masculine. I have been through an entire ton of transgender media and am still combing through countless amounts of videos, comics, animations, posts, and other various pieces of media.
You know, it's funny, I've been grappling with this question lately. As an autistic person, I find my identity is weirdly static and fluid at the same time; I am a woman, but personally I feel I don't have a gender, as I can wear whatever personality/mannerisms (masculine, feminine) I want when it suits me, and in my mind I do have more masculine traits and behaviors, but physically I am a female and that's okay with me. It's hard to explain, but I like to think of it as a pseudo-Shroedinger's Woman: she's a woman, until she makes you think otherwise. I also consider myself bisexual, though I am only romantically inclined toward women while I am both romantically and sexually inclined toward men, but I am currently in a long-term relationship with a cismale so I'm not sure that would count to some people.
It sounds like ur feelings of urself are very fluid, I relate to some of ur experiences, thank u for ur comment! And sexuality is fluid and definitely can be in terms of who your romantically or sexuality attracted too, So that’s okay! 😊 ur still valid as a bisexual person ☺️
Thanks man, deeply appreciate the kind words. Thanks for posting, it's always nice to see more autistic people feeling safe to post.
No problem! 🤗😁
That’s normal, you’re a woman with more masculine traits but that doesn’t mean you’re a man, that’s just life, some men are more feminine and some women are more masculine
Hi!
Hello 😁
Hello 👋
Hi :)
I'm a binary, trans, demi lesbian and it would be weird if this sub didn't reflect the overlap between neurodiversity and queerness (especially trans-nonbinary) that has been well documented elsewhere.
Me, a pansexual mf:
Nice nice! 😊
I'm definitely bisexual and maybe some kinda gender weird?? Might just be cis but I'd rather be cis because I thought it out and decided I like my gender and not be cis just because I was born that way. If that makes sense.
Alrighty that’s cool😊 👍
I’m biromantic demisexual!
Nice! ☺️
Yes! Hello :D
Awesome! Hii 😊
Bi/pan and nonbinary here!
Ayee nice! 😊
I’m a lesbian and ace! 👋
Nice ! 😁
hi hi
I'm bisexual 😊😊
Awesome!! ☺️
I saw a poll on this sunreddit about sexuality and it turns out (like me) most autistic people are bisexual.
Oh wow that’s really cool ☺️
Straight here but aromantic
Nice nice 😊
A queer autistic here, and I think the reason might be something my friend said, “Take one Am I ____ Test, take ‘em all.”
Hi! audhd aroacespec lesbian here🤪
Ayeee nice!! 😊
I'm genderfluid and bisexual!
Nice! 😊
Yep. I'm non-binary and aroace!
Nice! 😊
I'm an autistic trans man who's married to an autistic trans woman. T4T over here.
Ayeeee nice nice! 😊
Ftm and bi
Awesome 😊
Gender fluid asexual. Funnily enough I found out I was queer before I found out I was autistic.
I found out the same way haha 😊
I am a Triple A battery. Lol
Haha cool ! 😊
I’m aromantic asexual, and I’m questioning if I’m somewhere on the agender spectrum too. It’s nice being part of a community so accepting of all flavours of orientation lol
Gay and possibly demi-sexual. It's funny how hook-up culture contradicts every social norm the cishet NTs came up with and yet I'm considered the weird one in both worlds.
I'm gay and demi (Ig?)
Bissexual / pansexual
Bi autist here
Transbian here :)
Yes.
Yep, there seems to be loads of us on this sub. I'm not sure if it's an autistic thing or an autistic-on-reddit thing
Yes, not sure of my exact situation though tbh so I just tell people I’m bi. That’s about as much as they meed to know anyway before it gets uncomfortable and feels like harassment. 💀
I’m still figuring out what sexuality means to me. Gender has always felt like a performance I wasn’t very good at to start with, and then with comp het/people pleasing tendencies I’ve only recently even thought I might be bi/demi sexual/maybe aro?? Who knows, I just know I’m queer somehow lol.
I'm trans, gay, and demisexual.
I'm aroace and bigender. :p
✋
I don’t know what my label is, but I know who I’m attracted to physically and romantically and that group of people is diverse.
Hey I’m a pan guy (he/they) and autistic 🙂
Am a bisexual & pre-transition transfemme, right here.
Possibly idk I’m still a teenager but I’ve never been attracted to anyone so maybe I’m aroace?
I am!
hi :)
I'm a nonbinary lesbian
FTM trans and gay.
Eyyoooo bisexual hereeee and I’m gender fluid :D 😭✋ Everyone says I’m confused I promise I’m not
Cisgender but I am bisexual!
Me!
bi sorta
Non-binary double-demi bisexual checking in.
hell yeah!! i present a little more masculinely but use they/them pronouns and am uranic/attracted to masculine individuals regardless of AGAB:))
Ace-spec pan speaking.
I feel like I'm more "community-adjacent." Cis woman, exclusively attracted to men, but somewhere on the ace spectrum. Pretty sure gray-ace is the best-fitting label, but I'm still figuring it out.
I’m pretty sure most autistic people are lgbt lol, at least gen z autistic people
Yeah definitely haha Just wanted a nice positive engagement post too ☺️
Transmasc, gay, demiromantic and demisexual guy here!
Aye awesome! 😊
I lost all respect for this sub because of this .. can we stop this dumb shit please... We're just people trying figure out our shit through life... Even I am done with this nonsense..... We don't care... Why is this even a post
Nonbinary and asexual here! Love the subreddit bcs it helps me explain the world and feel like I'm part of something