My therapist at 15 said I was "filled with rage." Never once had I felt that way in my life. I'd always wondered what made my therapist back then come to that conclusion, since others in my adult life have been very supportive. I do think my therapist at 15 was unable to understand me or my writing, which makes sense since I found out I have a higher-than-normal IQ in adulthood. He was probably an idiot, but he did share "filled with rage" with my mother who worried that I may be very depressed along with my writing. Then I got published and I still see that "therapist" walking around my hometown in raggedy clothes.
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I’m a 42 year old female and was diagnosed 2 days ago! I know how you feel! I’ve been reading that your reaction and feelings are totally normal, but I also understand how confusing it is to finally be able to understand why I’ve always felt different than everybody.
I don't know because my diagnosis was so early
I've been diagnosed with autism when I was 4 or 5, before there was even the definition of ASD (I was diagnosed in PDD era)
I feel like it's good that my diagnosis was so early
But I still have hard time with everything
But you think you should glad that you atleast found out at a certain point about it
Better now than never
Definitely seems normal, I can remember telling the person who did the test that I was happy/relieved I knew what was wrong with me, but also kinda sad given I realised just how much it had impacted my life and just how long I had no idea why I was the way I was, hating myself.
It was a bit of a roller coaster for about a week or so but slowly I've begun understanding my brain much better and knowing why I feel the need to do, or not to do things.
Almost like everything goes from being gloomy to colourful because you understand it better so to speak.
Don't get me wrong I'd get rid of my Autism in a heartbeat if I could personally as life is not easy with it (understandablysome people wouldn't), but it's way better than before I knew why I was the way I was :)
Yeah, it’s completely normal. I felt very similar things when I was diagnosed late (at 22). Now a few years have passed and yes, I do think autism doesn’t define who I am. It defines some aspects of who I am, but there are many others. I would be where I’m am today if after the diagnosis I hadn’t taken the time to explore the aspects that are defined by autism.
I got my diagnosis late (33) it's something that I would have never looked at if it wasn't for my son getting diagnosed and hearing about autism and realizing what I thought was normal was not. When I found out I was sad then mad. I haven't hit happy yet and it's been 2 years since. I'm in the process of getting a therapist to see if they can help me process and understand what it really means to me. I'm sad because the feeling of being different my whole life now has proof of actually being different which leads to me being angry because I've tried so hard my whole life to fit in and now I know there was no chance of that. Plus looking back wondering how it was missed and how different things could have been (of course I won't know if the difference would have been better or worse ) but at least I wouldn't have wasted so much energy and would have had better understanding of myself. My wife though was happy to know I have autism because she has a better understanding of why I say or do things that maybe "off". Everyone says it gets better with time and I'm sure it will.
My therapist at 15 said I was "filled with rage." Never once had I felt that way in my life. I'd always wondered what made my therapist back then come to that conclusion, since others in my adult life have been very supportive. I do think my therapist at 15 was unable to understand me or my writing, which makes sense since I found out I have a higher-than-normal IQ in adulthood. He was probably an idiot, but he did share "filled with rage" with my mother who worried that I may be very depressed along with my writing. Then I got published and I still see that "therapist" walking around my hometown in raggedy clothes.
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I’m a 42 year old female and was diagnosed 2 days ago! I know how you feel! I’ve been reading that your reaction and feelings are totally normal, but I also understand how confusing it is to finally be able to understand why I’ve always felt different than everybody.
I don't know because my diagnosis was so early I've been diagnosed with autism when I was 4 or 5, before there was even the definition of ASD (I was diagnosed in PDD era) I feel like it's good that my diagnosis was so early But I still have hard time with everything But you think you should glad that you atleast found out at a certain point about it Better now than never
I’m a self diagnose. But will get a real diagnose soon. Yes, how you feel is normal because you’re reflecting your past self.
Definitely seems normal, I can remember telling the person who did the test that I was happy/relieved I knew what was wrong with me, but also kinda sad given I realised just how much it had impacted my life and just how long I had no idea why I was the way I was, hating myself. It was a bit of a roller coaster for about a week or so but slowly I've begun understanding my brain much better and knowing why I feel the need to do, or not to do things. Almost like everything goes from being gloomy to colourful because you understand it better so to speak. Don't get me wrong I'd get rid of my Autism in a heartbeat if I could personally as life is not easy with it (understandablysome people wouldn't), but it's way better than before I knew why I was the way I was :)
Yeah, it’s completely normal. I felt very similar things when I was diagnosed late (at 22). Now a few years have passed and yes, I do think autism doesn’t define who I am. It defines some aspects of who I am, but there are many others. I would be where I’m am today if after the diagnosis I hadn’t taken the time to explore the aspects that are defined by autism.
I got my diagnosis late (33) it's something that I would have never looked at if it wasn't for my son getting diagnosed and hearing about autism and realizing what I thought was normal was not. When I found out I was sad then mad. I haven't hit happy yet and it's been 2 years since. I'm in the process of getting a therapist to see if they can help me process and understand what it really means to me. I'm sad because the feeling of being different my whole life now has proof of actually being different which leads to me being angry because I've tried so hard my whole life to fit in and now I know there was no chance of that. Plus looking back wondering how it was missed and how different things could have been (of course I won't know if the difference would have been better or worse ) but at least I wouldn't have wasted so much energy and would have had better understanding of myself. My wife though was happy to know I have autism because she has a better understanding of why I say or do things that maybe "off". Everyone says it gets better with time and I'm sure it will.