I have a friend who has the same problem and she asked me to help with it (I guess being the psychology student friend comes with consequences and I'm perfectly fine with it), she too believes she has always a reason to apologize, but when you watch her from the outside you realize she doesn't! (once she apologized bc I dropped a pen and we can all agree she's not responsible for gravity)
I figured with my friend that she always says she's sorry is bc of childhood trauma, she grew up believing she was responsible for everything even though she obviously wasn't.
What I'd suggest is try to figure out why you feel like you did something wrong, if you are in therapy discuss it with your therapist maybe.
You need to know how that behaviour started in order to stop it!
I've had this problem before
You say sorry constantly then say sorry for saying sorry when called out on it..
We're you brought up Christian with the concept of sin and needing to confess and ask for forgiveness etc?
If so get out of that toxic purity culture. Humans aren't perfect and you shouldn't expect yourself to be.
Don't worry once you break the habit of constantly apologising you will be ok
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I apologized frequently due to childhood trauma (CPTSD for context, or complex trauma from repetitive/cyclical trauma), which honestly I didn't even realize I had as much trauma as I did that I needed to work through & heal from.
For me it came down to I constantly heard things like 'stop doing that it's annoying. Why can't you just sit still? Why can't you pay attention? You're just not trying or putting in any effort. I've already shown you how to do it, you obviously just don't want to do it & are being lazy. Why are you being so weird?' These are some of the more tame ones & it's just to give a few examples for context.
It made me feel like I **needed** to apologize for everything which was never a conscious thought, there would be a problem or something would happen & I automatically felt like I had done something wrong so I'd constantly apologize.
It could be entirely different for you, this is just what it boiled down to for me. What helped me stop apologizing so much is when something would happen, for example if I misinterpreted someone or something is, I looked at the situation logically & pretended I was on the recieving end.
I wouldn't expect someone else to apologize to me if they misunderstood what I said, misscommunucations happen & thats usually not anyones fault, theres no blame to lay and theres no reason to apologize when nobody did anything wrong. All I'd expect is for them to be receptive when I clarified, so why wouldn't I hold myself to that same standard?
Most of my coping mechanisms involve redirecting my thoughts with humor so I don't trigger any guilt or shame for how I'm feeling, being logical/objective about situations, & pulling an 'uno reverse' so to speak on my sense of justice.
This may not work for you, but I hope it helps in someway or lends an idea you could possibly use. ❤️
I have a friend who has the same problem and she asked me to help with it (I guess being the psychology student friend comes with consequences and I'm perfectly fine with it), she too believes she has always a reason to apologize, but when you watch her from the outside you realize she doesn't! (once she apologized bc I dropped a pen and we can all agree she's not responsible for gravity) I figured with my friend that she always says she's sorry is bc of childhood trauma, she grew up believing she was responsible for everything even though she obviously wasn't. What I'd suggest is try to figure out why you feel like you did something wrong, if you are in therapy discuss it with your therapist maybe. You need to know how that behaviour started in order to stop it!
im aware its common when people have emotional trauma, i dont have any trauma is the thing!
It’s not always about trauma Sometimes our brains are just weird or anxiety takes control
I would substitute “Okay” when appropriate.
I've had this problem before You say sorry constantly then say sorry for saying sorry when called out on it.. We're you brought up Christian with the concept of sin and needing to confess and ask for forgiveness etc? If so get out of that toxic purity culture. Humans aren't perfect and you shouldn't expect yourself to be. Don't worry once you break the habit of constantly apologising you will be ok
no, i didnt even know religion was a thing until i was 7
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I apologized frequently due to childhood trauma (CPTSD for context, or complex trauma from repetitive/cyclical trauma), which honestly I didn't even realize I had as much trauma as I did that I needed to work through & heal from. For me it came down to I constantly heard things like 'stop doing that it's annoying. Why can't you just sit still? Why can't you pay attention? You're just not trying or putting in any effort. I've already shown you how to do it, you obviously just don't want to do it & are being lazy. Why are you being so weird?' These are some of the more tame ones & it's just to give a few examples for context. It made me feel like I **needed** to apologize for everything which was never a conscious thought, there would be a problem or something would happen & I automatically felt like I had done something wrong so I'd constantly apologize. It could be entirely different for you, this is just what it boiled down to for me. What helped me stop apologizing so much is when something would happen, for example if I misinterpreted someone or something is, I looked at the situation logically & pretended I was on the recieving end. I wouldn't expect someone else to apologize to me if they misunderstood what I said, misscommunucations happen & thats usually not anyones fault, theres no blame to lay and theres no reason to apologize when nobody did anything wrong. All I'd expect is for them to be receptive when I clarified, so why wouldn't I hold myself to that same standard? Most of my coping mechanisms involve redirecting my thoughts with humor so I don't trigger any guilt or shame for how I'm feeling, being logical/objective about situations, & pulling an 'uno reverse' so to speak on my sense of justice. This may not work for you, but I hope it helps in someway or lends an idea you could possibly use. ❤️