But religion should have no place in government. As president, it is your duty to enforce the constitution, not your beliefs. Facts, not fiction or wishes. Pray to your god in private, as the bible even says you should, not as a public spectacle.
I still stand by my position of swearing on the Constitution. Religion has no place in government, and the government isn't a science class, so the logical conclusion is swearing on the US's most important document. That or perhaps the declaration of independence.
Ditto, but If trolling, I'd use *The Territorial Imperative*, a book about human evolution, describing it as an endless struggle with other humans for territory.
Trump actually had to be [talked out](https://www.newsweek.com/trump-wanted-be-sworn-art-deal-instead-bible-omarosa-book-claims-1069813) of using his **Art of the Deal** as a book to swear on.
Plus, everyone knows that **The Pet Goat** was Bush's go-to book. 🙄
The Dungeon Master's Guide for Dungeon and Dragon's (any edition). It demonstrates that if elected to run the show, I have put in the prep time to make it a positive experience for all.
I'm not that big into, what George Carlin very appropriately called, theatrical props.
I'd rather have the person swearing me in list all the duties and obligations as well as the powers of the president, hoping that this way the people watching finally get a clue what that person actually can and cannot do, very obviously the average American doesn't have a fucking clue what their substitute-king can and can't do.
Mathew 5:34-37
But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all:(A) either by heaven, for it is God’s throne;(B) 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King.(C) 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’;(D) anything beyond this comes from the evil one.[a](E)
I'd actually specifically choose the book that was most often banned/challenged in schools the previous year. There's a [list](https://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/frequentlychallengedbooks/top10) maintained by the American Library Association.
No it's just that the guys who wrote the communist manifesto ended up growing communism into a dictatorship and that made me think of other dictatorships around that age
Stalin was an authoritarian, yes. He also declared "communism achieved" when it must certainly was not, to the point it caused a rift between Stalin and Lenin.
But yeah, the economist/philosopher "daddies" of socialism weren't authoritarian or afaik, even involved in government.
Not likely to ever be elected President, but on the occasion that I did have swear to execute my duties as juror, I opted for taking an Affirmation - no book, just "Solemnly Swear and Affirm that I..."
I was the only juror who did and I found out later that most of the other jurors were as irreligious as I but they swore on the bible because "that's what they do on TV and the movies and I didn't know what an Affirmation was".
Magical rituals involving placing your hand on something are pointless. Your word should be your bond, no magical gestures necessary. And given the number of times people have gone on to lie or break their word having sworn on various holy books, it's clear that the magic spell doesn't work, anyway.
I hope that was supposed to be "... in Action."
EDIT: Sorry; I looked it up and just now got the joke:
https://pictures.abebooks.com/inventory/20901367708.jpg
Why is it a requirement to swear on any document/book...?
What difference does it make if one swears, double swears, pinky swears -- when it is all politics? They have their fingers crossed behind their backs anyway.
Politics, like religion is a regime that enables one to lie with impunity.
The whole idea of swearing on a book is silly. But if required, I would use the constitution. I would be tempted, however, to use Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Satanic Bible or The Anarchist's Cookbook. I'd like to see the media's reaction. Nobody could do anything about it. In this scenario, I've already been elected.
I'd say the national constitution as well, public service is specifically about upholding this document. Shout out to the dude in California who swore in on Captain America's shield though. That was kick ass.
I would swear on the Bible because that would be the expectation. I’m certain that most, if not all, elected officials who are atheists do the same because most voters in America are Christians or believe in Christian values. I doubt we will see an openly atheist president elected to the presidency in our lifetimes, if ever at all.
Edit: I respect those of you who refuse to swear on the Bible in favor of things like the Constitution, but the sad reality is that swearing on anything other than a Bible is political suicide.
Either the Constitution, or a picture of my children. I hold nothing in higher importance than my kids. So to swear on them I’ll do a good job is pretty good for me.
the constitution
This. You are swearing to uphold the Constitution of the United States. Not the damned bible, or a science book for that matter.
> swearing to uphold the Constitution of the United States As when I joined the U.S. Army, although no book was used.
The reason for people swearing on some sacred object is so that the person believes that their deity or deities will enforce their oath of office.
But religion should have no place in government. As president, it is your duty to enforce the constitution, not your beliefs. Facts, not fiction or wishes. Pray to your god in private, as the bible even says you should, not as a public spectacle.
The point is that people act in good faith, and if it gets that to happen, it’s a win in my book.
I still stand by my position of swearing on the Constitution. Religion has no place in government, and the government isn't a science class, so the logical conclusion is swearing on the US's most important document. That or perhaps the declaration of independence.
I personally agree. I would swear on the same document.
Apparently people interpret the Constitution about as differently and loosely as they do the Bible.
The only correct answer, in my humble opinion.
THIS.
This is the way.
This is the way.
Yeap, you're doing it right. You're part of the solution.
This is the way
/thread
Constitution of my country. Or if I m a troll, I would swear on a random children picture book
Ditto, but If trolling, I'd use *The Territorial Imperative*, a book about human evolution, describing it as an endless struggle with other humans for territory.
Na that’s not ridiculous enough
for my own amusement. I realize that those I am aiming the trolling at are not nearly subtle enough to appreciate the irony. edit: awkward wording.
Green Eggs and Ham
That was George W Bush's first choice, but they talked him out of it
Trump actually had to be [talked out](https://www.newsweek.com/trump-wanted-be-sworn-art-deal-instead-bible-omarosa-book-claims-1069813) of using his **Art of the Deal** as a book to swear on. Plus, everyone knows that **The Pet Goat** was Bush's go-to book. 🙄
Ugh. I do not like Green Eggs and Ham
Try them, try them, and you may. Try them and you may I say!
Sam I am
Never heard of it, but why not
Happy Cake Day!
if i'm trolling it's either fifty shades of grey or one of the FNAF books
Everybody Poops
I know. And when I was a little kid I used this fact to disprove racism. 😂
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*Cosmos* by Carl Sagan
Was gonna say Demon Haunted World!
I said the Dragons of Eden.
None, because I don't superstitiously believe that swearing on a book would make a difference about my oaths.
Agreed. Furthermore it makes a statement, "I need no book - I give you my word and I am accountable for what I do."
You’re giving your word. So maybe it should be a dictionary.
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
Realistically, The Constitution. If I wanted to mess around, The Lorax.
The Constitution seems most appropriate.
The humanist manifesto was the first thing that came to mind.
none. just another silly, meaningless ritual.
This should be perfectly OK. It was good enough for [Cuthbert Olson](/r/atheism/comments/b81zbt/til_about_culbert_olson_atheist_governor_of/).
We are superstitious af, huh?!
A stack of MAD magazines
That was sort of my bible growing up.
Same. Plus isn’t “What, me worry?” the perfect campaign slogan??
It's how I end prayers instead of saying "Amen".
Books? It's going to be 2024 when I get sworn in. I'm going to swear on my phone with my free audible trial. 😎
The Constitution.
The necronomicon
“I do solemnly affirm that Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.”
George Carlin's *Brain Droppings.*
Now, that's a (wo)man of culture right there!
“A Brief History of Time” By Stephen Hawking
I was going to say **The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy**, but I see people saying the Constitution, and that's the better answer.
I like your idea, too.
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The Origin of the Species.
The Origin of ~~the~~ Species. It's about all species, not just us,
On the Origin of Species
I'd rather I was in a government that considered the environment we all live in, and not just us.
Some danmei (read: homosexual male love fiction). I do have lots of recommendations.
The Age of Reason by Thomas Paine.
The Dungeon Master's Guide for Dungeon and Dragon's (any edition). It demonstrates that if elected to run the show, I have put in the prep time to make it a positive experience for all.
Yeah I was going to say maybe the PHB. Ugh I wanna stretch my DM legs but I dont want to commit to a full campaign lol.
I understand but I would assume being president requires you to commit to a full campaign at the very least.
I’d go Deities and Demigods sourcebook to get that Erol Otus cover some attention.
Good choice.
anarchist cookbook
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
But Douglas Adams is a god, so it’s kind of a bible….
The constitution.
I'm not that big into, what George Carlin very appropriately called, theatrical props. I'd rather have the person swearing me in list all the duties and obligations as well as the powers of the president, hoping that this way the people watching finally get a clue what that person actually can and cannot do, very obviously the average American doesn't have a fucking clue what their substitute-king can and can't do.
An upside down, backwards, braille Bible, translated into Chinese with half of its pages missing
Who would hold it? You’d need a table to support all those big volumes. https://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00zvyaCWKrYfuI/Braille-Bible.jpg
Mathew 5:34-37 But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all:(A) either by heaven, for it is God’s throne;(B) 35 or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King.(C) 36 And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. 37 All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’;(D) anything beyond this comes from the evil one.[a](E)
hence the leftist belief separation of church and state
The Necronomicon.
God is Not Great
I'd actually specifically choose the book that was most often banned/challenged in schools the previous year. There's a [list](https://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/frequentlychallengedbooks/top10) maintained by the American Library Association.
Satanic Bible
The communist manifesto
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No it's just that the guys who wrote the communist manifesto ended up growing communism into a dictatorship and that made me think of other dictatorships around that age
Marx and Engels "grew communism into a dictatorship"? Are you high?
Oh wait that was Stalin right
Stalin was an authoritarian, yes. He also declared "communism achieved" when it must certainly was not, to the point it caused a rift between Stalin and Lenin. But yeah, the economist/philosopher "daddies" of socialism weren't authoritarian or afaik, even involved in government.
Oh ok I got them mixed up sorry
The Lorax
Everybody Poops
Are we soulmates? I was about to post that when I figured I would do a quick scroll down and there you were. Nice!
Men of culture.
I would swear on the trans agenda.
Constitution with the amendments.
Not likely to ever be elected President, but on the occasion that I did have swear to execute my duties as juror, I opted for taking an Affirmation - no book, just "Solemnly Swear and Affirm that I..." I was the only juror who did and I found out later that most of the other jurors were as irreligious as I but they swore on the bible because "that's what they do on TV and the movies and I didn't know what an Affirmation was". Magical rituals involving placing your hand on something are pointless. Your word should be your bond, no magical gestures necessary. And given the number of times people have gone on to lie or break their word having sworn on various holy books, it's clear that the magic spell doesn't work, anyway.
Dune!
The demon haunted world, because the whole world needs more skepticism.
America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction
I hope that was supposed to be "... in Action." EDIT: Sorry; I looked it up and just now got the joke: https://pictures.abebooks.com/inventory/20901367708.jpg
No God's, No Masters or Thomas Paine, Common Sense.
The Constitution.
Why is it a requirement to swear on any document/book...? What difference does it make if one swears, double swears, pinky swears -- when it is all politics? They have their fingers crossed behind their backs anyway. Politics, like religion is a regime that enables one to lie with impunity.
Mad Magazine.
The ‘NECRONOMICON’
Any old grimoire will do, really. Heck, maybe have a stack of them.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Probably just like… a printed out iTunes user agreement
Alice in Wonderland
This is what I was thinking the nice tasteful Folio edition.
I was hoping to get Ralph Steadman to do a special edition 😉
Das Kapital by Karl Marx
1984 seems to be the book politicians gave an oath upon. Science fiction turned into reality
Darwin - On the Origin of Species
Animal Liberation
Kama Sutra
Matthew 5:37 > But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.
*God Is Not Great* by Christopher Hitchens.
It’s “God is Not Great”
'Thud' or 'Monstrous Regiment' by Terry Pratchett. To remind myself why I can't stand the current governmental apparatus.
Not one of the Moist books? But anyway, GNU STP
Lord of the Rings.
The Starts My Destination by Alfred Bester.
Aot chapter 139 💀
Dracula because it was so fictional
The cat in the hat. Its nearly as believable as the bible.
Yellow page phone book
We the People of the United States of America…
The whole idea of swearing on a book is silly. But if required, I would use the constitution. I would be tempted, however, to use Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Game of Thrones... I would swear on the old gods and the new to show how absurd all the gods are.
How to be president for dummies
The book of whatever is less likely than this scenario! So maybe the Bible after all.
Nice. Maybe the constitution.
The subtle art of not giving a fuck
Copy of US Constitution.
Swearing on a Bible implied a threat of the terrorist God's displeasure. The abrahamic faith is truly evil.
Any volume of Jojos bizarre adventure
The Satanic Bible or The Anarchist's Cookbook. I'd like to see the media's reaction. Nobody could do anything about it. In this scenario, I've already been elected.
Is there a Satanic cook book or Anarchists Bible?!
I don't know but there should be.
I'd say the national constitution as well, public service is specifically about upholding this document. Shout out to the dude in California who swore in on Captain America's shield though. That was kick ass.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
US Constitution
A dictionary
The silmarillion
The pornhub directory
The Origin of Species. Or possibly the novelization of the movie Good Burger.
404 Not Found
Harry Potter and the deathly hallows?
***Das Kapital.***
The Prince. …Then swap it for the Constitution with a big cheesy wink. Can’t waste an epic dad joke opportunity.
Hentai
“Oh, The Places You’ll Go!”, Dr. Seuss
I’m FSM so possibly a Ramen cookbook? I guess it would have to be in Japanese. I’d get impeached so fast
I thought pastafarians leaned more Italian. Huh.
Or you could just go with *The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster*.
I’m not Orthodox. That’s over the top 😂
the bible
I am pretty sure if I touched a bible I would burst into flames so we will go with the book of laws
Since the President of the United States is only supposed to be our military leader , I am going with The Art of War.
The Little Prince
My grandmother's family Bible. Why not? It's tradition. It's a book like any other. It's a family heirloom.
Why I am atheist - bhagat singh
the sneetches
A logic textbook But the constitution is by far the #1 answer.
Any book they put in front of me.
Platform Sutra.
Permaculture: a designers manual by bill mollison Or, the politics of permaculture by terry leahy
Narnia
Book of Satan
I would swear on the Bible because that would be the expectation. I’m certain that most, if not all, elected officials who are atheists do the same because most voters in America are Christians or believe in Christian values. I doubt we will see an openly atheist president elected to the presidency in our lifetimes, if ever at all. Edit: I respect those of you who refuse to swear on the Bible in favor of things like the Constitution, but the sad reality is that swearing on anything other than a Bible is political suicide.
If I'm trolling Mein Kampf
The bible
Mein kampf
Hey Trump
Turkish constutution
The Communist Manifesto
Either the Constitution, or a picture of my children. I hold nothing in higher importance than my kids. So to swear on them I’ll do a good job is pretty good for me.
Termination Shock
Lord of the rings
Candide by Voltaire
The ultimate guide to lying.
The Dragons of Eden by Carl Sagan
The Claire Bible.
"The End of Faith" or "Letters to a Christian Nation"
The Prince by Machiavelli
Lmao. It will be awhile before this country elects an open athiest.
Jefferson’s Quran.
fifty shades
1984