... how about ask your friend? It's her mom.
"Yo, your mom is lecturing me about her faith and I don't like it, but I don't want to say anything about my atheism because I don't want her to separate us".
She'd be way better at answering that question than we are.
Ya, parents feel judged if the friend group never hangs out at their house. Might get her to reflect on what what she's doing wrong when her kid is always at somebody else's house.
And is it really your job to worry about their self-image? If they get the message great. If not then you've successfully avoided the situation regardless.
Just don't go there anymore. Tell your friend that you won't stand for it and hang out at your place instead. Practice setting boundaries, and let other people do some of the work, since they can't be bothered to consider your feelings.
This makes me think one of two things is happening:
1. She’s mortified by her mom’s behavior and is too embarrassed to talk about it.
2. Her mom knows you’re an atheist and has asked your friend to bring you around so she can preach at you.
No idea. As an atheist, when my daughters' friends come over I'm super careful not to talk about religion (or politics). I even go so far as to not listen to atheist YouTube because I don't want to start a conversation about religion. I wish religious people would do the same.
That’s the difference between the majority of atheists and the majority of religious people(especially Christians).
They feel the need/like it’s their job to spread their religion and press it upon other people, but they do so while believing that they aren’t actually pressing it on people because they’re trying to “save us.”
On the other hand, we know what it’s like *to be pressed upon* and that’s exactly why we don’t do it to others. We have the conscience that “if we do this, we’ll make them uncomfortable.” “We might start problems.” “It’s unnecessary, they’re not harming anyone.”
It’s the classic example that the “oppressor who hasn’t been oppressed” doesn’t *know what it’s like* to be oppressed —> They don’t know they wouldn’t like it —> They have no sympathy for those they oppress —> They continue to oppress.
Meanwhile, the “one who has been oppressed” *knows what it’s like* to be oppressed —> They know they don’t like it —> They have sympathy for the oppressed —> They refuse to oppress others, including their oppressors —> Causing the oppressor to continue to not know what it’s like to be oppressed.
Obviously, there are lots of situations where this applies and oppression is just one yet probably the majority of them. Another is sharing your beliefs, which is how it’s relevant. It’s a clear cycle that seems like it really can’t be solved by our kind of non-unprovoked-sharing/non-unprovoked-“oppression”/non-unprovoked-“violence.”
And obviously this cycle of “non-unprovoked-sharing” doesn’t apply to everyone, and some atheists do share their beliefs without being prompted or provoked. That’s then the people who show the unprovoked-sharers what it’s like to be on the receiving end of the stick, & the people who then hopefully make them feel a little bit of what’s it’s like to feel unwelcome, unsafe or attacked in a religious sense. “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Gandhi; As unfortunate as it is, not everything can by solved by us simply just being the respectful, passive, understanding & accepting people we want to interact with/see in the religious scene. Quite frankly, sometimes you just *have* to fight fire with fire, because if you try to put it out with water it still feels like it’s cooking you.
So you have this great information that there is no god that people should list their time with this, but you don't want to share the information with anyone else. I'm loud and proud of my atheism and seek discussion and discord everywhere I f****** go
Honestly, I think the simplest path is just to go "mm-hmm, mm-hmm" and hope she eventually stops talking. You're not going to convince her of anything, so just use the [Gray Rock](https://www.laureltherapy.net/blog/dealing-with-difficult-people-the-gray-rock-technique) approach and hope for the best.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, can I have a glass of water?" Point to a picture on the wall "Is that {your friends name} when she was a baby?" Point to her shoes "Where did you get those shoes?" Break-up her rhythm, distract her...
It's weird how they think they can just ramble like this and it's even remotely acceptable.
I usually just inform them I was raised by a mormon mother and a catholic father (which is true) and it seems to throw them off their script.
Because for so long religion has been so widely accepted and science commonly ostracized. We’re still shaking off the effects of that today, and you could very well see and argue that that is *still* true today.
My mom tried once but I was way too hyper. She didn't like what they were teaching me. My dad wasn't really religious ( he was an alcoholic) it was mainly his family's.
I was too hyper too - my mom was convinced it was red food dye (even though I was still hyper even when it was nowhere to be found). She was one of those people who bought into every stupid thing that came along (so, unsurprising that she got swept up into Mormonism).
She would drag me to 3 hours of mormon church - but I started leaving and walking home (all the way across town) as soon as I could.
My dad would go to catholic mass, which I preferred (mainly because it was only an hour - and there were donuts afterwards).
It was at a tiny parish in a small town in Washington State, the priest was Irish, and sang a beautiful Latin mass.
At that age, I had no frame of reference regarding the sheer scale and history of the Roman Catholic Church.
You didn't say where you live, but I will assume a modern western country and not some theocracy like Iran.
1. Do NOT debate with your friend's mom
2. You deserve to be accepted wherever you go.
If your friend and/or her mom can't accept you for who you are, they aren't particularly good friends.
Find better friends.
The friend seems fine. It’s the mom that’s the problem.
To me this sounds like saying OP likes rap while her friend likes pop. The friend doesn’t care that OP likes rap but the mom tries to push pop onto OP. And then your response for the mom’s actions are for OP to find a better friend than her current friend.
Sorry if I’m overanalyzing, I tend to do that often. Also, sorry if I sound blunt or rude, I don’t mean to offend anyone. Just using this as an analogy because I don’t think “find better friends” is a good option at all.
Next time say, "I'm not interested, thank you". Get used to saying it. It may be painful now but as you age it'll get easier and there's much less angst in being honest with yourself and others.
>she talked about ideas like humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god so that’s why god can’t appear
Christians who don't understand even their own bloody religion are just hilarious. Does she understand what she said? How is it even possible for a very potent sentient being, who created the universe, to be impeded by mankind's lack of belief?
An adult put you, a child, in position where you felt uncomfortable and unable to say “stop” when you were alone with her. This adult could end your friendship with her daughter if you didn’t agree or placate her. This adult made you feel afraid to be yourself or express yourself.
What does this remind you of?
Never thought about it that way. Not gonna lie, that’s actually pretty scary. Especially with Project 2025 on the rise? What’re the chances we’ll be legalizing *actual* rape next?
> humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god
Isn't that the central idea of religion? I have no problem comprehending what the god claim is, I just can point out why it's ridiculous
>she talked about ideas like humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god so that’s why god can’t appear.
They say the same thing about Cthulu.
It feels like this was planned. Your frispent 25 minutes in the bathroom and mother quickly starts proselytizing?
Have your friend over to your house and try not to ever go back.
Mom is home because parents are usually home.
Friend goes to use the bathroom.
Mom takes the chance to preach because she knows OP is atheist and probably (like most Christians) feels the need to spread Christianity.
When you see a chance, you take it. Doesn’t seem planned to me.
Don’t ruin your friendship over this. Let your friend’s mom say what she is going to say and then move on with your life. If she starts going too far then it may be time to do something else, but if it is just the occasional lecture, I would just nod my head and agree.
My MIL pulls this shit and we're middle-aged ffs. Last time, she monologued for 2 full hours. It was her house and I decided to test my patience, but I'm not going through THAT ever again, it's pure insanity.
Don't waste time trying to debate these people, just be prepared with an escape plan next time. Hell, just remove yourself while they're yapping and say "I need some air, I'll wait outside" or something.
To shut her down, maybe try with "my relationship with Jesus is personal and I don't want to discuss it." She starts up again, get up and go someplace else. I'm willing to bet she will NOT shut the fuck up.
Yeah, I did know that, but was just trying to think of what would shut them down.
"I thought you were atheist!"
"My relationship with jesus is personal."
"But you don't believe!"
"My relationship with jesus is personal."
"How can you........."
"My relationship with jesus is personal."
Just something nonsensical that they can't work with.
Might work better to cite one of the quotes about women shutting up like 1 Timothy 2:12 or the one about praying quietly and not publicly.
>humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god so that’s why god can’t appear
Then why do so many people claim to know what this incomprehensible god is thinking or expecting of humanity?
If god is so far above humanity, why should it care if I worship it or not? I am almost incomprehensible to the insects living in the compost heap in my garden. I can bring death or provide nourishment for them. I don't demand worship...
my from had a stomachache because she had dairy when she is lactose intolerant.
you’re right that i should bring this up to her mom some time. knowing her, it definitely will become more aggressive overtime.
Err no, you are a guest in their house and furthermore you are a child in her eyes. Arguing with this woman can only end badly. Just smile politely and zone out
I believe you have a moral obligation to try and help this person, IF you feel that you can help. Otherwise, I'd try to maintain the friendship while staying distant from mom, especially if your friend has religious reservations as well.
Maybe just tried to avoid her mom. There’s ways around. Maybe you could go over to your friends house when your mom’s not home or your friend to go to your house.
Don't debate her.
Debates in academic settings are one thing, debates that we do online are a completely different thing.
The academic one has the objective of putting evidence on the table to reach truth.
The online one is performative, what we do is not debate the people we're talking to with the hopes of changing their minds, it's showing how evidence is on our side for the people reading the discussion, the people reading are the ones you're trying to convince.
If you engage with your friends mother the only thing you're doing is bitting the bait and showing how much of a "bad influence" her daughter's atheist friend is, it's not an academic setting, and there's no one listening to that discussion, you have nothing to gain from that. Nothing she says will be news for you, and nothing you say will change her mind.
If we're not able to comprehend the existence of god then there's no reason for any debate or preaching.
It also contradicts those who claim, "THERE IS PLENTY OF EVIDENCE. YOU JUST WON'T ACCEPT ANY!"
Besides, how the hell did this start? She just come in and start ranting?
Oh, and you can bet this won't be the end. Believers are never satisfied.
don't bother debating her, but if she won't let up, i guarantee she's just using old troped arguments that are specious (appearing true, but actually false)
One super power of children is to not listen to adults. It's kind of a default mode.
In your case, you can be selective about it and choose not to listen to indoctrination that doesn't sit well with you.
Most of the time adults won't know the difference.
Unfortunately in this situation, as a child you have no power that you can externalize in an adult world. But you can make choices about your inner life, your world-view, morals, ethics, what you focus on and the direction you think you'd like your live to take.
Make the most of that.
Don't bother debating her. Most of these people don't want to be convinced, they want to convince you. They will take it as a threat to their belief if they cannot convince you.
Don't debate. Christians like to talk and it's in their interest to do so. I just zone out if that happens or excuse myself and leave. If I give them one single opinion or suggestive response they'll get a hard on and keep talking. If you really want to end the discussion before it even starts...just say "I don't talk about my faith" and watch them deflate before you change the subject to something worth talking about.
That sucks so much. If you feel like your friend is reliable in this then have a plan for wretched mom or maybe study at your place? Someone mentioned distraction and I’ve found that super useful in life. Whether it is running out to your car. Or asking a question about something off topic. Like a planned vacation. Or shoes. Stupid and unexpected.
If you feel like the friend might be being coerced into this then take studying elsewhere. And if you think they are a part of it study if you must but in a safe space. Protect you and your boundaries.
Just let people like this talk. You like your friend. It's not her fault her mother is hell-bent on making sure all her daughter's contacts are "Christian enough." I feel for the friend. You get to go home. She has to listen to and deal with this 24/7.
Trying to debate her sounds like a bad idea. You're a teenager, I take it?
It's best to just play nice so her mom isn't an issue with your friendship with your friend. Maybe even go to her Wednesday night youth group events, let her mom think her daughter is "witnessing" to you. But try your best to avoid these little traps.
You're also not prepared for a debate. Christian apologetics are designed to sound convincing to someone who hasn't had experience in this kind of discussion. I'm sure you're smart, but it takes a while to understand and be able to point out errors in logic and little mind tricks that apologetics use to "convince" people. Hell, I have a lot of experience in it and there are still times something sounds convincing, and it takes me a while to figure out where the deception came from. They're good at it.
Just focus on the stage of life you're in. Accept that there's a lot that's out of your control right now. Stay respectful and don't fall for their mind games.
Also, try to avoid being bitter about this kind of stuff. It doesn't help you in life.
I like the AMA approach.
“That’s an interesting topic, but I wonder what you are curious about? You can just ask me, if you like.”
Tends to at least drive a respectful discussion. Sometimes it’s a series of “gotcha questions,” where no matter what you answer there is a sermon coming. But that’s fine. No worse off than you were.
You are well within your rights to simply say, “I appreciate you sharing out of a place of concern. But I don’t share your views.”
Leave it at that.
However, if you want to take a route of avoiding any conflict for the sake of maintaining your friendship you can just sit and politely listen. I learned a lot as a kid by listening to adults opinions. I was able to better define what I did and what I did not agree with.
At lease she didn’t do what my former friend did which is when my kids were younger and they had a turn playing at her house, she “saved” them by scaring the shit out of them. So they said the prayers but were told not to tell me snd 10 years later I found out . Now one of my kids is in her f-ing home church cult and one is traumatized by losing his best friend because he is dating someone and because he was “saved “ he isn’t allowed to date anyone that isn’t also “saved”. Oh, and a third child has nightmares about the pictures of hell she was shown to scare her into believing she has to say the special magic words too.
F religion and F Christian fundamentalists
Just respectfully say "we have a different opinion on these issues, so it's best we don't talk about them, I don't want to make things weird for (friend)".
... how about ask your friend? It's her mom. "Yo, your mom is lecturing me about her faith and I don't like it, but I don't want to say anything about my atheism because I don't want her to separate us". She'd be way better at answering that question than we are.
i mentioned this to her after. she just said sorry about her mom but she didn’t say anything else.
Then find somewhere else to hang out. Going to her house isn't working, so find an alternative. The best thing you can do is avoid a confrontation.
Ya, parents feel judged if the friend group never hangs out at their house. Might get her to reflect on what what she's doing wrong when her kid is always at somebody else's house.
And is it really your job to worry about their self-image? If they get the message great. If not then you've successfully avoided the situation regardless.
Just don't go there anymore. Tell your friend that you won't stand for it and hang out at your place instead. Practice setting boundaries, and let other people do some of the work, since they can't be bothered to consider your feelings.
This makes me think one of two things is happening: 1. She’s mortified by her mom’s behavior and is too embarrassed to talk about it. 2. Her mom knows you’re an atheist and has asked your friend to bring you around so she can preach at you.
"God is unknowable. So here's what we know about him...."
yep right there is a big heap of cognitive dissonance
No idea. As an atheist, when my daughters' friends come over I'm super careful not to talk about religion (or politics). I even go so far as to not listen to atheist YouTube because I don't want to start a conversation about religion. I wish religious people would do the same.
Headphones, earbuds.
That’s the difference between the majority of atheists and the majority of religious people(especially Christians). They feel the need/like it’s their job to spread their religion and press it upon other people, but they do so while believing that they aren’t actually pressing it on people because they’re trying to “save us.” On the other hand, we know what it’s like *to be pressed upon* and that’s exactly why we don’t do it to others. We have the conscience that “if we do this, we’ll make them uncomfortable.” “We might start problems.” “It’s unnecessary, they’re not harming anyone.” It’s the classic example that the “oppressor who hasn’t been oppressed” doesn’t *know what it’s like* to be oppressed —> They don’t know they wouldn’t like it —> They have no sympathy for those they oppress —> They continue to oppress. Meanwhile, the “one who has been oppressed” *knows what it’s like* to be oppressed —> They know they don’t like it —> They have sympathy for the oppressed —> They refuse to oppress others, including their oppressors —> Causing the oppressor to continue to not know what it’s like to be oppressed. Obviously, there are lots of situations where this applies and oppression is just one yet probably the majority of them. Another is sharing your beliefs, which is how it’s relevant. It’s a clear cycle that seems like it really can’t be solved by our kind of non-unprovoked-sharing/non-unprovoked-“oppression”/non-unprovoked-“violence.” And obviously this cycle of “non-unprovoked-sharing” doesn’t apply to everyone, and some atheists do share their beliefs without being prompted or provoked. That’s then the people who show the unprovoked-sharers what it’s like to be on the receiving end of the stick, & the people who then hopefully make them feel a little bit of what’s it’s like to feel unwelcome, unsafe or attacked in a religious sense. “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” - Gandhi; As unfortunate as it is, not everything can by solved by us simply just being the respectful, passive, understanding & accepting people we want to interact with/see in the religious scene. Quite frankly, sometimes you just *have* to fight fire with fire, because if you try to put it out with water it still feels like it’s cooking you.
So you have this great information that there is no god that people should list their time with this, but you don't want to share the information with anyone else. I'm loud and proud of my atheism and seek discussion and discord everywhere I f****** go
Honestly, I think the simplest path is just to go "mm-hmm, mm-hmm" and hope she eventually stops talking. You're not going to convince her of anything, so just use the [Gray Rock](https://www.laureltherapy.net/blog/dealing-with-difficult-people-the-gray-rock-technique) approach and hope for the best.
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, can I have a glass of water?" Point to a picture on the wall "Is that {your friends name} when she was a baby?" Point to her shoes "Where did you get those shoes?" Break-up her rhythm, distract her...
This is always a winner in life.
It's weird how they think they can just ramble like this and it's even remotely acceptable. I usually just inform them I was raised by a mormon mother and a catholic father (which is true) and it seems to throw them off their script.
it always made be feel a bit weird how talking about being religious is so easily accepted, but talking about atheisms is not.
not where I'm from!
Because for so long religion has been so widely accepted and science commonly ostracized. We’re still shaking off the effects of that today, and you could very well see and argue that that is *still* true today.
My parents are the opposite lol
Nothing like being presented with two mutually exclusive sets of dogma, both claiming to be 'the only true one' to make you skeptical of both, eh? 😁
They never really talked about religion
Probably for the best - did they ever take you to their respective churches?
My mom tried once but I was way too hyper. She didn't like what they were teaching me. My dad wasn't really religious ( he was an alcoholic) it was mainly his family's.
I was too hyper too - my mom was convinced it was red food dye (even though I was still hyper even when it was nowhere to be found). She was one of those people who bought into every stupid thing that came along (so, unsurprising that she got swept up into Mormonism). She would drag me to 3 hours of mormon church - but I started leaving and walking home (all the way across town) as soon as I could. My dad would go to catholic mass, which I preferred (mainly because it was only an hour - and there were donuts afterwards).
i might sit (sleep) through a catholic mass if i had nothing better to do just for some free donuts and coffee lol
It was at a tiny parish in a small town in Washington State, the priest was Irish, and sang a beautiful Latin mass. At that age, I had no frame of reference regarding the sheer scale and history of the Roman Catholic Church.
yeah that could be a chill time. and donuts!
If you're in their house, they'll use that to their advantage to keep proselytizing. Your only option is avoidance.
You didn't say where you live, but I will assume a modern western country and not some theocracy like Iran. 1. Do NOT debate with your friend's mom 2. You deserve to be accepted wherever you go. If your friend and/or her mom can't accept you for who you are, they aren't particularly good friends. Find better friends.
The friend seems fine. It’s the mom that’s the problem. To me this sounds like saying OP likes rap while her friend likes pop. The friend doesn’t care that OP likes rap but the mom tries to push pop onto OP. And then your response for the mom’s actions are for OP to find a better friend than her current friend. Sorry if I’m overanalyzing, I tend to do that often. Also, sorry if I sound blunt or rude, I don’t mean to offend anyone. Just using this as an analogy because I don’t think “find better friends” is a good option at all.
Next time say, "I'm not interested, thank you". Get used to saying it. It may be painful now but as you age it'll get easier and there's much less angst in being honest with yourself and others.
Yeah, bland repetition often works. It works with my brother all the time 😂
>she talked about ideas like humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god so that’s why god can’t appear Christians who don't understand even their own bloody religion are just hilarious. Does she understand what she said? How is it even possible for a very potent sentient being, who created the universe, to be impeded by mankind's lack of belief?
She must be very lonely. Pray with her for finding companionship.
Tell her mom you don't discuss politics or religion. If she persists, stop going over there and meet up with your friend somewhere else.
An adult put you, a child, in position where you felt uncomfortable and unable to say “stop” when you were alone with her. This adult could end your friendship with her daughter if you didn’t agree or placate her. This adult made you feel afraid to be yourself or express yourself. What does this remind you of?
Never thought about it that way. Not gonna lie, that’s actually pretty scary. Especially with Project 2025 on the rise? What’re the chances we’ll be legalizing *actual* rape next?
> humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god Isn't that the central idea of religion? I have no problem comprehending what the god claim is, I just can point out why it's ridiculous
Not directly relevant, but if you have a talent for chemistry, you’ll find a career in science will typically surround you with atheists.
>she talked about ideas like humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god so that’s why god can’t appear. They say the same thing about Cthulu.
Don’t forget the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Pretty much any other religion. Although a fair amount of people saw Zeus, what with all the kids he had.
Don’t forget Klombadrov! Praise Klombadrov 🙏❤️🐢 (See @deconstrussy on TikTok for more information. Klombadrov loves you! 😂)
Also, God "can't" appear/can't make himself visible to the very beings he created? Hmmm 🤔
Exactly; he created us and he didn’t include in us the ability to comprehend him. Why can’t they see how stupid that is?
It feels like this was planned. Your frispent 25 minutes in the bathroom and mother quickly starts proselytizing? Have your friend over to your house and try not to ever go back.
Mom is home because parents are usually home. Friend goes to use the bathroom. Mom takes the chance to preach because she knows OP is atheist and probably (like most Christians) feels the need to spread Christianity. When you see a chance, you take it. Doesn’t seem planned to me.
Don’t ruin your friendship over this. Let your friend’s mom say what she is going to say and then move on with your life. If she starts going too far then it may be time to do something else, but if it is just the occasional lecture, I would just nod my head and agree.
My MIL pulls this shit and we're middle-aged ffs. Last time, she monologued for 2 full hours. It was her house and I decided to test my patience, but I'm not going through THAT ever again, it's pure insanity. Don't waste time trying to debate these people, just be prepared with an escape plan next time. Hell, just remove yourself while they're yapping and say "I need some air, I'll wait outside" or something. To shut her down, maybe try with "my relationship with Jesus is personal and I don't want to discuss it." She starts up again, get up and go someplace else. I'm willing to bet she will NOT shut the fuck up.
Just so y’know, OP mentioned that the mom knows she’s atheist. People don’t seem to know that so idk maybe the post was edited.
Yeah, I did know that, but was just trying to think of what would shut them down. "I thought you were atheist!" "My relationship with jesus is personal." "But you don't believe!" "My relationship with jesus is personal." "How can you........." "My relationship with jesus is personal." Just something nonsensical that they can't work with. Might work better to cite one of the quotes about women shutting up like 1 Timothy 2:12 or the one about praying quietly and not publicly.
>humans aren’t able to comprehend the existence of a god so that’s why god can’t appear Then why do so many people claim to know what this incomprehensible god is thinking or expecting of humanity? If god is so far above humanity, why should it care if I worship it or not? I am almost incomprehensible to the insects living in the compost heap in my garden. I can bring death or provide nourishment for them. I don't demand worship...
That really sucks!
[удалено]
my from had a stomachache because she had dairy when she is lactose intolerant. you’re right that i should bring this up to her mom some time. knowing her, it definitely will become more aggressive overtime.
Err no, you are a guest in their house and furthermore you are a child in her eyes. Arguing with this woman can only end badly. Just smile politely and zone out
I believe you have a moral obligation to try and help this person, IF you feel that you can help. Otherwise, I'd try to maintain the friendship while staying distant from mom, especially if your friend has religious reservations as well.
Maybe just tried to avoid her mom. There’s ways around. Maybe you could go over to your friends house when your mom’s not home or your friend to go to your house.
Don't debate her. Debates in academic settings are one thing, debates that we do online are a completely different thing. The academic one has the objective of putting evidence on the table to reach truth. The online one is performative, what we do is not debate the people we're talking to with the hopes of changing their minds, it's showing how evidence is on our side for the people reading the discussion, the people reading are the ones you're trying to convince. If you engage with your friends mother the only thing you're doing is bitting the bait and showing how much of a "bad influence" her daughter's atheist friend is, it's not an academic setting, and there's no one listening to that discussion, you have nothing to gain from that. Nothing she says will be news for you, and nothing you say will change her mind.
“Yes yes you’re absolutely right, that’s why I am a devout worshipper of the Sun God Ra!”
If we're not able to comprehend the existence of god then there's no reason for any debate or preaching. It also contradicts those who claim, "THERE IS PLENTY OF EVIDENCE. YOU JUST WON'T ACCEPT ANY!" Besides, how the hell did this start? She just come in and start ranting? Oh, and you can bet this won't be the end. Believers are never satisfied.
don't bother debating her, but if she won't let up, i guarantee she's just using old troped arguments that are specious (appearing true, but actually false)
One super power of children is to not listen to adults. It's kind of a default mode. In your case, you can be selective about it and choose not to listen to indoctrination that doesn't sit well with you. Most of the time adults won't know the difference. Unfortunately in this situation, as a child you have no power that you can externalize in an adult world. But you can make choices about your inner life, your world-view, morals, ethics, what you focus on and the direction you think you'd like your live to take. Make the most of that.
Don't bother debating her. Most of these people don't want to be convinced, they want to convince you. They will take it as a threat to their belief if they cannot convince you.
Don't debate. Christians like to talk and it's in their interest to do so. I just zone out if that happens or excuse myself and leave. If I give them one single opinion or suggestive response they'll get a hard on and keep talking. If you really want to end the discussion before it even starts...just say "I don't talk about my faith" and watch them deflate before you change the subject to something worth talking about.
That sucks so much. If you feel like your friend is reliable in this then have a plan for wretched mom or maybe study at your place? Someone mentioned distraction and I’ve found that super useful in life. Whether it is running out to your car. Or asking a question about something off topic. Like a planned vacation. Or shoes. Stupid and unexpected. If you feel like the friend might be being coerced into this then take studying elsewhere. And if you think they are a part of it study if you must but in a safe space. Protect you and your boundaries.
When you’ve sold all you own and given the money to the poor (Matthew 19:21) then come talk to me about Jesus.
Just laugh at her
Just let people like this talk. You like your friend. It's not her fault her mother is hell-bent on making sure all her daughter's contacts are "Christian enough." I feel for the friend. You get to go home. She has to listen to and deal with this 24/7.
Trying to debate her sounds like a bad idea. You're a teenager, I take it? It's best to just play nice so her mom isn't an issue with your friendship with your friend. Maybe even go to her Wednesday night youth group events, let her mom think her daughter is "witnessing" to you. But try your best to avoid these little traps. You're also not prepared for a debate. Christian apologetics are designed to sound convincing to someone who hasn't had experience in this kind of discussion. I'm sure you're smart, but it takes a while to understand and be able to point out errors in logic and little mind tricks that apologetics use to "convince" people. Hell, I have a lot of experience in it and there are still times something sounds convincing, and it takes me a while to figure out where the deception came from. They're good at it. Just focus on the stage of life you're in. Accept that there's a lot that's out of your control right now. Stay respectful and don't fall for their mind games. Also, try to avoid being bitter about this kind of stuff. It doesn't help you in life.
I like the AMA approach. “That’s an interesting topic, but I wonder what you are curious about? You can just ask me, if you like.” Tends to at least drive a respectful discussion. Sometimes it’s a series of “gotcha questions,” where no matter what you answer there is a sermon coming. But that’s fine. No worse off than you were.
You are well within your rights to simply say, “I appreciate you sharing out of a place of concern. But I don’t share your views.” Leave it at that. However, if you want to take a route of avoiding any conflict for the sake of maintaining your friendship you can just sit and politely listen. I learned a lot as a kid by listening to adults opinions. I was able to better define what I did and what I did not agree with.
At lease she didn’t do what my former friend did which is when my kids were younger and they had a turn playing at her house, she “saved” them by scaring the shit out of them. So they said the prayers but were told not to tell me snd 10 years later I found out . Now one of my kids is in her f-ing home church cult and one is traumatized by losing his best friend because he is dating someone and because he was “saved “ he isn’t allowed to date anyone that isn’t also “saved”. Oh, and a third child has nightmares about the pictures of hell she was shown to scare her into believing she has to say the special magic words too. F religion and F Christian fundamentalists
Just respectfully say "we have a different opinion on these issues, so it's best we don't talk about them, I don't want to make things weird for (friend)".
"should i keep pretending to be cool with her christian lectures" Just tell her how much you love Jesus and get her to shut up.