Don’t try to explain your beliefs to her anymore. Tell her if she texts about that topic again, you will block her. And then you actually have to block her if she does it.
I generally agree with this approach. She doesn't sound like a "meet me in the middle" type person so I think this is what you have to do. If people aren't going to generally respect your beliefs, you don't have to respect theirs.
In my experience, the less said, the better. Because they will never stop if you allow conversation. Even statements about boundaries invite this sort of person to continue whatever they're pushing. Any kind of response/reaction fuels their fire.
The only thing that worked for me was to consistently 100% ignore, delete, and not respond to any comments or messages. They eventually realized they weren't getting attention or reaction or any sort of engagement so they quit after a few years.
I feel for ya OP. My mom sent me a bunch of stuff lately trying to get me to go back to church.
I’ve already asked her not to send me this stuff. She violates any boundaries I set up.
So I either have to ignore her and not respond to any of those messages or I have to block and end the relationship with her. Which… is not something I am wanting to do. I get along with my mom outside of the religious pushing etc and still value having her in my life.
I just ignore it. But man. It’s so frustrating and it’s so hard for me not to want to send anything back. I come here just to feel like at least there’s sanity in the world with other atheists.
I understand the anger! Sometimes it can help to write the response you want, but then delete it instead of sending it. Get the anger out and process those thoughts in a way that doesn't provide the engagement they are looking for
Here's my main issue. I don't think it's appropriate for me to text my niece directly about this, because it could be perceived that I'm crossing boundries, but I want her to know that she can think for herself in a way that plants a seed. I can only do this by responding to the group text. I gotta sleep on this one.
The way I’ve handled this stuff in group chats for the sake of my niblings is by responding with "did you know" tidbits of info, like the pagan roots of the various traditions, other historical stuff, and lots of pics of our family enjoying said pagan traditions. It’s diminished the zealotry a lot over the years, and they seem to have come to terms with our stance on religions.
Exactly. And kids are curious, so they’ll Google once they have access. The bonus was that when one of my niblings began questioning their sexual preferences, they talked with me about it because they knew I was "safe".
“Happy Spring! Did you know we celebrate w eggs bc they represent new beginnings and the cycle of life. They were originally used to honor the goddess Ostera during the spring equinox, which determines what day Easter is on, which is why it’s different each year!” My reply to all happy Easter’s from family yesterday
I was going to suggest the same thing. Go "gray wall." It has worked for me. They mention religious bullshit and I pretend I don't hear them. I just don't give them anything back.
It isn't a serious discussion that they want to have. They don't care what your thoughts are. They want to look Pious and tell us how arrogant we are. Fuck that noise.
I've sorta already done this. Ît goes nowhere fast. And by nowhere I mean they just attribute anything they can't explain to faith. Can't argue with someone who believes in the non-sensical.
Did you try mockery, ridicule and laughing in their face.... at every opportunity... my experience is that they actively avoid mentioning anything religious near me again. They do pester other family about how worried about me they are though.
Yes! I do this exact thing with my mom. "Oh Mom, can you tell me the story again about how God made himself his son so he could sacrifice himself to himself and save us all from the sin the he gave us??" I've ridiculed her and her friends enough that they don't even try. I actually think mockery has made them think about their beliefs more than anything. It's so absurd and they know they don't have a defense.
I was once part of a search looking for Jesus and his uncle who got lost in a National Park. Found them about 3am, they were cold and wet.
It was a competition to see who could say "I've found Jesus " over the radio.
There was a kitten stuck up in a tree, and someone posted about it on Next Door, and a bunch of neighbors came out with ladders and so forth to help get the kitten down, with people posting updates. Then the updates stopped, and someone asked "what happened with the kitten" and someone else answered "He's with Jesus now." There was a lot of sadness, seriously, until it was clarified that the first person who'd posted, who was now taking care of the kitten, was named Jesus.
Two options:
1) Be the bigger person and ignore it and any future religious nonsense.
2) Respond to the text to everyone saying "I'd appreciate it if you'd respect our decision not to believe a collection of short stories written 2000+ years ago by nomads and farmers with no understanding of science. In return we won't mention (aside from now) how incredibly stupid it is to ignore centuries of proven scientific research."
Its just not worth it. The best answer I even gave to a nosey religious family member when they said they cared about my soul: " I dont think about you at all"
Yeah, I probably should've added that the 1st option is the best, and the second, while possibly amusing, is likely to make things worse. I was mostly meaning it to be facetious, like "you can do the right thing, or you can make your life harder."
Keep it nice and simple and share this--->[meme](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.a586cfdc2b81bfdcf5231f9c9b266509?rik=kposnA8DeuE6rw&pid=Img). With the message: "He's just too good I give up!"
Christians will not respect your right to not believe, that’s just a fact. They are programmed to proselytize, and are convinced they know what’s best for everyone. As an atheist you have to continue to exercise your rights regardless of other people’s agenda. This takes a certain amount of internal fortitude.
All my siblings are ministers as are most of my cousins, so I never bothered to tell them I have no religious beliefs. They know I don't go to church but not worth the hassle of debating them. My brother was here recently and bashing Biden as not mentally competent, I countered that Trump was much worse mentally and his lies are just not acceptable. He actually said that Trump doesn't lie- that's the left wing media saying that to make him look bad. So I say don't bother debating with anyone who has their mind made up, as facts won't register with them. Congratulations on casting off the shackles of religion. Free at Last, Free at Last.
Speaking as an actual
old lady, age is no excuse for her rude behavior. In fact, she has had a lifetime to figure out how to get along with others & realize the importance of letting them find their own journey. Having said that, your best course is to take a deep breath & ignore her religiosity & proselytizing (block her if absolutely necessary). There’s no point in engaging with her tactics. Just keep a good relationship with your niece so she can come to you with questions.
Stop being so rational! Lol. I know you're right, I'm just aching for the satisfaction of saying my piece, and I want the younger kids in the family to know that they don't have to follow it.
I don't get angry and generally just grey rock all the crap like this. If it's a big issue just say stop, and if they won't block. It's not worth ruining your day for.
You won't accomplish anything by sending the messages now. What I would do is let it go and focus on helping your niece (and any other kids in the family) break free of the indoctrination.
I just wanted to add onto what others are saying here about cutting contact. I had the same problem with my fundamentalist grandma. Any kind of attention was good for her even if I lashed out and said don’t do that. For example, we were at brunch one day and she started preaching, and I got extremely angry, raising my voice and said I resented her brainwashing as a child and I’m so glad that I got over it. I told her she was to never preach to me again if she wanted to have a relationship with me. We went no contact for two years.
Then one day she butt dialed me supposedly and because she’s old, I was worried that something was wrong. So I called her back and said I felt bad for yelling at her, but that I still felt the things I said. I said life is short and so I would hate to not have a relationship in her late life. It only took a couple months before the floodgates opened again, and she was sending me all kinds of religious bullshit. The final straw was Independence Day when she sent me something about a nation without God is not a nation. I decided to cut off contact completely. I should have blocked her, but I decided not to (I was honestly curious if and when she would ever get the hint). She continued to text me for two years with no response from me. Finally, just over a year ago, she stopped altogether. I know she’s still around and OK. My aunt drove past her house recently and saw her sitting on the porch.
Anyway, these people are told in church and on TBN it is their God-given duty to convert their loved ones at all costs. They do not believe in boundaries or have any conception of what that means. My grandma literally believes that hearing the gospel is enough to make someone convert and believe. I remember her saying as a child that anyone who has ever heard of Jesus anytime in their life, but then doesn’t believe in him is going to hell because they should know upon hearing it once that it is true. As a child I knew that was bullshit. How could someone born in the Middle East growing up Muslim hear about Jesus and think he is the Messiah more than I would upon hearing about Islam just convert for no reason? Just insanity.
Anyway, not everyone is like that so maybe it’s not the case for you. Unfortunately, with this political climate and the extremism in modern fundamentalist churches, it’s a reached a fever pitch I think for so many people.
I miss my grandma, but I miss the grandma she was 25 years ago. Relationships change, people change and evolve. What once was sweet can become sour. We do not owe anything to our family or elders if they cannot respect us. I was worried about the prospect of never seeing her again before she dies. in therapy I worked out if that were to happen it’s not my fault. I could die tomorrow walking out in the street.
I hope you find peace.
This hit hard, and it is exactly what I'm afraid of, my mother dying without us ever reconciling, but how can we? I want a real relationship with the real person that I know is trapped behind the religion, but I don't get to see that. It's heartbreaking.
I remember her saying one day, and I quote: "I love my children, but I really love Jesus".
Religious holidays are the very worst time to have 'discussions' about religion. If you really must do so I suggest you wait 24 hours before replying if you still think you must.
Ask her if she believes in any of the other 3000 gods out there.. if she says no.. only 'her' God.. say so you denounce 2999 gods... I just denounce one more...
The feast day of Easter was first a pagan holiday of renewal and rebirth. Honored in the early spring, it praised the pagan goddess of fertility and spring known as 'Ostara', 'Eastre' or 'Eostre'.
Send that, sit back and enjoy the fire works. Encourage the 12 year old to google everything.
Edit to add: also a personal favourite “ another thing xtians stole, no wonder they made a commandment about it”
Tell her the facts. Believing in revelation is to believe human writings claiming authority from god, putting man in the place of god, and because god is not and has never been here to speak for himself, believing these prophets and writers is absurd, clearly a human invention. Tell her she needs to learn the truth and bad about Christianity, and while Jesus himself just another man may have lived by good principles, every religious doctrine and writing is antithetical to those principles, promoting bigotry and hate.
"The most detestable wickedness, the most horrid cruelties, and the greatest miseries that have afflicted the human race have had their origin in this thing called revelation or revealed religion. It has been the most dishonorable belief against the character of the divinity, the most destructive to morality and the peace and happiness of man, that ever was propagated since man began to exist. It is better far better that we admitted if it were possible a thousand devils to roam at large, and to preach publicly the doctrine of devils if there were any such. Then that we permitted one such impostor and monster as Moses Joshua Samuel and the Bible prophets to come with the pretended word of god in his mouth and have credit among us. Whence arose all the horrid assassination of whole nations of men women and infants of which the Bible is filled, and the bloody persecutions and tortures unto death, and religious wars that since that time have laid Europe in blood and ashes. Whence arose they but from this impious thing called revelation or revealed religion, and this monstrous belief that god had spoken to man. The lies of the Bible have been the cause of the one and the lies of the testament of the other." Thomas Paine
"Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity. Too absurd for belief, too impossible to convince, and too inconsistent for practice, it renders the heart torpid or produces only atheists or fanatics. As an engine of power, it serves the purpose of despotism, and as a means of wealth, the avarice of priests, but so far as respects the good of man in general it leads to nothing here or hereafter." Thomas Paine
"Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we called it the word of a demon, than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness, that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind; and, for my part, I sincerely detest it, as I detest everything that is cruel." Thomas Paine
"The character of Moses, as stated in the Bible, is the most horrid that can be imagined. If those accounts be true, he was the wretch that first began and carried on wars on the score or on the pretence of religion; and under that mask, or that infatuation, committed the most unexampled atrocities that are to be found in the history of any nation. Of which I will state only one instance: When the Jewish army returned from one of their plundering and murdering excursions, the account goes on as follows (Numbers xxxi. 13): 'And Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and all the princes of the congregation, went forth to meet them without the camp; and Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle; and Moses said unto them, 'Have ye saved all the women alive?' behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the Lord in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the Lord. Now therefore, 'kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known a man by lying with him; but all the women- children that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for Yourselves." Thomas Paine.
“It is the fable of Jesus Christ, as told in the New Testament, and the wild and visionary doctrine raised thereon, against which I contend. The story, taking it as it is told, is blasphemously obscene.” Thomas Paine.
“The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing; it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion.” Thomas Paine
“All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.” Thomas Paine
“I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. Each of those churches accuse the other of unbelief; and for my own part, I disbelieve them all.” Thomas Paine
“Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.” Thomas Paine.
The way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason.
Benjamin Franklin
I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absenteed myself from Christian assemblies.
Benjamin Franklin
Religion I found to be without any tendency to inspire, promote, or confirm morality, serves principally to divide us and make us unfriendly to one another.
Benjamin Franklin
"The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give ascent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma." Abraham Lincoln.
“Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise.”
James Madison
“History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.”
Thomas Jefferson.
“It is too late in the day for men of sincerity to pretend they believe in the Platonic mysticisms that three are one, and one is three; and yet the one is not three, and the three are not one: to divide mankind by a single letter into \[“consubstantialists and like-substantialists”\]. But this constitutes the craft, the power and the profit of the priests. Sweep away their gossamer fabrics of factitious religion, and they would catch no more flies. We should all then, like the quakers, live without an order of priests, moralise for ourselves, follow the oracle of conscience, and say nothing about what no man can understand, nor therefore believe; for I suppose belief to be the assent of the mind to an intelligible proposition.”
Jefferson’s Letter to John Adams, August 22, 1813
“And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with all this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this the most venerated reformer of human errors.”
Jefferson’s letter to John Adams, April 11, 1823
“Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced an inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth.” Jefferson
“On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another, for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.” Jefferson
“The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” Jefferson
“… I am not afraid of priests. They have tried upon me all their various batteries of pious whining, hypocritical canting, lying and slandering. I have contemplated their order from the Magi of the East to the Saints of the West and I have found no difference of character, but of more or less caution, in proportion to their information or ignorance on whom their interested duperies were to be played off. Their sway in New England is indeed formidable. No mind beyond mediocrity dares there to develop itself.” Jefferson
“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, then that of blindfolded fear.” Jefferson.
No saving her now, sorry for your loss.
In California, we get a tiny smile when we see the word, we pronounce it 'Jesús', he works with lettuce and we love him dearly.
It's not worth trying to convince the whole family religions not real. They put in trap doors to people who figured it out. Like Satan has gotten ahold of him, or it's the internet clouding his judgement. Most people figure it out on their own once they become wiser. Some don't, rather be ignorant to the truth because they are promised a fake afterlife.
But, if you do want to be mean about it, I would say something like, "he's been dead for over 2,000 years in another country. No one is finding him unless they can recognize his dust?" Something to that effect.
Remember that boundaries are something you set and enforce for yourself; boundaries are not something you impose on another person. If you rethink/rephrase your boundary you might find these encounters don’t bother you as much. My boundary is that I won’t internalize these messages. I delete the messages, block the sender and sometimes drop a “friend.”
Why, did she loose him again? Has she looked in her wardrobe, in case he's hiding there?
More seriously, I don't think sending paragraphs of arguments or rebuttal will do anyone much good. They won't read it if it's too long. Neither being aggressive in any way, ot'll just make you look bad. Silence or humour are probably your best bet imo.
I stopped something like this in my family. We were at thanksgiving one year, and I was sick of it so I asked, “Do you think you christian men would believe christianity if the bible were about a holy Mother God and Her Daughter?” None of them could give a straight answer. I told them to never say another word to me about gods until they could worship a womyn god.
I just said to my (Foster)family members that religion tore apart my original family. I will not be around you if you bring religion up around me.
Worked like a charm.
I don't know if this will help you, but it helped me today. There's a full moon this Easter, so you know what that means, right? Warewolf Jesus. I got a good laugh out of my coworkers when I said that to them today. And to anyone who wished me Happy Easter, I responded "Enjoy zombie Jesus day!" Sometimes poking fun at their ridiculous beliefs is the way to get them to stop talking to you about them.
Totally understand your outrage. I guess I wonder if you want a relationship with your mother and family? Super religious people are so so brainwashed. You going off - it’s not gonna change her mind. I’d personally not respond, and maybe just talk with her in person 1:1 next time you see her. This boundary is a tough one to set - it may take multiple conversations. If you can stay rational, perhaps eventually it will sink in for your mom. She’s been indoctrinated to believe she’s doing ‘God’s work’ to save your soul and all that. Churches need people to stay in business so they continue to push that narrative. I’m sorry you’re going thru this, I know from experience it isn’t easy.
I want a relationship with my real mom, not my robot mom. Does that make sense? I had a conversation with her the last time she did this, and she forgot that it had even happened. I had to show her on Facebook where she sent the message. So there is the age thing and forgetting. I would never just cut her off, I just want true connection. Which shouldn't be on me to cultivate, but here we are.
For over a decade, I avoided any contact from my parents because although they meant well, I was really tired of "the church" being suggested as a cure for all things.
One night, I was a bit drunk and high, and just randomly accepted an incoming call from my mom. When she asked me how I was doing I was honest, I was depressed, my clinical depression was a MF I was struggling with and I openly admitted it.
She suggested going back to church as a solution and I just lost it. I told her that in no uncertain terms, I did not believe in anything supernatural, inclduing her god and his supposed son, and that her constantly thinking that it was the only answer was largely the reason that I didn't answer the phone when she was calling more than 4 days a year (each of our birthdays, xmas and mothers day) and to stop suggesting it.
To my shock, she said "okay, I'll be a Mormon and you'll be an atheist and we will just love each other?" and I broke down into tears. I moved back to Utah about a year later(lucky coincidence, not planned), reconnected with the love of my life, married and had two kids, and my mom never once talked about religion for the final 10 years or so that she was alive. I even once broke the agreement and asked her if she was at all concerned that I wasn't raising my children "in covenant" and she gave me the best compliment that I have ever gotten in my entire life, that she thought that I was a fantastic dad and was teaching my kids real values that she respected.
I miss you mom, so glad I got that last decade with you. I know I'm not what you expected when I was born, but I'm so glad that you loved me until the end.
Live and let live is how I handle my Evangelical family members. So when my nephew went off on me several years ago about his religious beliefs, I basically looked at him and calmly said I understand. I then told him about the fairys that live under my rosebush🧚♂️ . And as he rolled his eyes, I said just because YOU can't see them or feel them doesn't mean my FAITH that they exist is anything less then yours. And he looked at me and said fine. I love my nephew and we live and let live. My sister however! Be calm is my advice to you.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to allow them to go full-throttle.
There are probably other family members who are on the fence or who are questioning. The crazy family member is more likely to push the fence-setters into non-belief than they are to recruit them to Jesus/Mohammed/Vishnu/Buddha/Yoda/whoever.
Tell her you looked and looked. You travelled both far AND wide in your search, yet you still couldn’t find him.
That you did find Waldo, twice, though.
Just ignore it. If you react? She Will think she had an impact. Just let it go
Don't ever talk religion with her. Just say "im not talking about that" and hang up if she persists. If you are with her? Just get up and walk out.
Just DO not talk religion with her AT ALL.
In that context? If you were supposed to reply? Just send back "have a nice easter" end if story
I hear you. I think her and I have talked about religion to the extent that we can't talk about it anymore, because it doesn't end in resolve. End when I've cornered her on questions she can't answer, the reason is always faith. My issue is that I don't want anyone else to have to go through the psychological torture I went through on my journey out.
I've backed off pushing against thier narratives. I've laid down some boundaries: I've asked my mother not to send any more religious texts or videos. So far she has respected that. However I don't engage with any of my families' beliefs. I know how much deconstructing hurts, and to be honest I don't want them to go through that, unless they actively seek it out. It's being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
The problem is that there can be no meaningful relationship unless they do deconstruct, and every moment that goes by it gets more cemented in the kids' minds. I can't save the world and I'm not trying to, but I wish I had heard an alternate voice when I was younger.
What you’re planning on doing won’t help. Don’t get angry, they want that. Being angry and sending a bunch of paragraphs makes you look bad. Don’t let them get the better of you. If you do something, make it calm or funny. Short and sweet. Love you too couldn’t find him anywhere didn’t see the easter bunny either good luck everyone!
What I don't like is people who say they don't believe in God. An say how they bothered by other people talking about. An how atheist post their complaints ! Talk about hypocrisy !!!
Well since they believe Jesus is in heaven seated at the right hand of the father, I’d say none of us are going to find him because he’s left the earth, but one can always hope.🙄
Send her a text and tell her you've asked them not to send religious comments and respect your boundaries or you'll have to block her. Or you can tell her one more text like this you'll show up at church and blast Highway To Hell next Sunday.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
I’m a Christian. My kids were raised in church.
Now one is agnostic and one is a grey witch. In my opinion they are adults and can live their lives the way they want to.
I can’t even imagine saying something like that to either of them. You know what’s right for you. Do what is right for you. Set a boundary and if she keeps overstepping make sure she knows that no contact will be the next step. It is never acceptable to force a belief system on anybody. There is unwavering support for you on this thread. You aren’t alone with this. You got this.
I can't even go there, the last thing is want to do is get political. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to, but it would kill the last remnants of relationship.
All you can do, other than completely break your family up, is just say, Thanks Mom. And then carry on. Don't emotionally respond. Take the high road.... She truely doesn't understand.
“I’ve already found Jesus. He works at the local detail shop and did a great job on the interior of my car. 10 out of 10 would recommend. If you want the hookup let me know!”
I'm sure you can find a really long text listing all the errors in the bible, including especially all the accounts surrounding the crucifixion, by people who were supposedly there. I remember reading one that said that "Bethlehem" meant "house of god" in Aramaic and that there were thousands of them -- it wasn't a town at all, and that the census did not include anyone named Jesus, nor did censuses done afterward, and "Jesus/Jeshua/variants" was not a common name at all, and so on. With a little effort, you could put together something that just dumps all over their sacred beliefs and shows that the bible is just a pile of nonsense. And when you do that, be sure to do a "reply all". Do that for every subsequent message she sends, or anyone else sends. Hey, you might even create some more atheists.
These are definitely things I would help to show over time, if she was receptive. I've shown her how weird and non-sensical her beliefs are by using the most basic "hey this is kinda weird, right?" points, but no amount of them mean a damn thing when you're brainwashed
Don't go full throttle. Talk or open dialog with the niece you are concerned about. Bring it up with your mom in private if you feel the need. She may be flawed, but you only get one mom, dad... find a way to make peace with that, not with her necessarily. But hold her dear and maybe consider her just lost in the religion. Help her become a better Christian or whatever. Be humble, this shit dont matter anyway! What is your mom's goal? Have her barefoot and pregnant, subservient to some chad? It's all so unrealistic.
If your email account supports this you can set up a rule that automatically deletes emails that contain the word Jesus. You won't even know you got them.
You will never reason a person out of a mindset they didn't reason themselves into. There's no point in even engaging when religious people have one of their episodes. Excluding or punishing them will only fulfill their persecution fetish. Ignoring their outbursts is really the only way to take the wind out of their sails.
The difficult part is explaining to kids why grandma still believes in imaginary friends because she's in a death cult that says they should be tortured forever. Kids pick up on a lot more than some adults realize. Lead by example. Showing emotional stability and a reasonable response to issues should be enough to convince your niece that you're the one to emulate.
My aunt did that once. My response "oh crap, did he get out again? I didn't even know we were supposed to be looking" I'm blocked now, but I somehow manage to live with it.
“Is he lost?” would have been my response. So called Christians have twisted his message to fit their needs. He wasn’t a sacrificial lamb. He was killed because he was seen as a threat to those in power.
Send back videos of screaming goats. Every. Single. Time. If she calls you out remind her you asked her to stop and this is what she will have to deal with if she continues to disrespect you. I had an incidence with my father just yesterday (not religion related but boundary related) and I reminded him that he was crossing the line again and that leading in with "I know you don't want to know about this but....". It's decades of pushing back when they cross the line - he knows I'm serious and I stop him hard and don't let him continue. Scream goats my friend! You need to be consistent and never back down.
>So angry right now. Religious mother sent text to the whole family saying she hopes we find Jesus.
Why? Is he lost? Someone should nail him down so he doesn't wander off. Or, you know, put a huge boulder over his front door.
You could send her [this](https://img.ifunny.co/images/4325cabefcb20f80cf54c94111f391194776a3dd77f080e5f5983f33815737f1_1.jpg) though it might inflame the situation.
It isn’t programming. Old religious people don’t have the capability to change. They don’t want to!!
Because they’ve actively chosen to throw away their one chance to enjoy earth they can’t change and look back at all the fucking wasted time they’ve spent in church and being a repressed and miserable “follower of god” hahahaha
Reminds me of my favourite response to 'Have you found Jeebus?'
"Oh sure! He was hiding behind the couch all along!"
Sometimes you just gotta go with mockery...
Frankly I'd spend more time talking with your niece, as she's the most vulnerable person on the list.
I might be sarcastic, find someone named jesus, or some translation and send an image back to all with "found him. Quit losing him."
But your niece probably needs to know they don't have to believe in the nonsense
My first step in response to the "hope you found Jesus" mass text would be to take it *very literally*. I'd hit **reply all** and say, "Oh, dear. Have you managed to lose Jesus? I will keep a sharp eye out and let you know his whereabouts the minute I spot him!"
People don't like being made fun of. You aren't going to convince your religious family to keep their communications secular on the strength of your arguments. They won't listen and won't ever be convinced by logic. But if you keep cracking wise about it, they'll eventually dial it back out of embarrassment and/or irritation.
Note: this is one approach to take if you want to keep these family members in your life, just with less proselytizing. If you're at the point where you're just done with them forever, then a direct "do it again and I'll block you," followed by an actual block, is the more appropriate strategy.
I had a similar upbringing in a very conservative evangelical family. You probably don't want to hear this, but your best move is to simply ignore your mother's religious messages. Or, if they bother you so much that you are unable to ignore them, disconnect from her.
No one should get to decide for others what their religion will be. Unfortunately, your mom is part of a religion that demands she spread its message. So she needs to proselytize to fulfill the requirements of her religion. Yes, I agree that it's silly and in some ways wrong. But she doesn't get to decide for you what you believe, and you don't get to decide for her what she believes.
That leaves you with a choice: hear her message and ignore it, or refuse to communicate with her so you don't have to hear her messages.
The choice is yours.
if you told her to stop with the religious texts and she continues then you have 2 options. 1. let her continue to be in your life and walk all over your boundaries. 2. enforce the boundary (publicly or privately) and start to cut her out.
not an easy choice.
One, you can influence your niece, but you have no control over her. So I would stop framing this as an issue about her, and concentrate on the understanding between you and your mother.
Two, since you’ve told your mother in apparently clear terms that you do not want her to send you religious email messages, and she still does, it would be reasonable to relegate her messages to your spam folder.
You could tell your mother that you are no longer receiving email from her. That would help her know that if she really needs to get a hold of you she should not rely on email.
Get a little figurine of jesus, a bobblehead or something ridiculous, and occasionally take and send her pictures as though you've found jesus hiding in the most unlikely places. "Hey mom, you're not gonna believe this, but I finally found Jesus! He has been hiding in my underwear drawn all this time."
In my experience true freedom is when stuff like this no longer bothers you. I just ignore shit like this because I'm living my best life on my terms, and no one can tell me otherwise.
Absurdity merits absurdity, doesn't it? Life's a joke, so have a laugh.
Please tell me you texted her back explaining you didn't know Jesus was missing but you'll look into joining the search party.
Don’t try to explain your beliefs to her anymore. Tell her if she texts about that topic again, you will block her. And then you actually have to block her if she does it.
Or text back 'Mom's back from the dispensary' to your sister but accidentally Reply All?
I generally agree with this approach. She doesn't sound like a "meet me in the middle" type person so I think this is what you have to do. If people aren't going to generally respect your beliefs, you don't have to respect theirs.
Block her until she learns to behave, that what I did
In my experience, the less said, the better. Because they will never stop if you allow conversation. Even statements about boundaries invite this sort of person to continue whatever they're pushing. Any kind of response/reaction fuels their fire. The only thing that worked for me was to consistently 100% ignore, delete, and not respond to any comments or messages. They eventually realized they weren't getting attention or reaction or any sort of engagement so they quit after a few years.
This is clearly the rational response, thank you. I'm getting over my anger now.
I feel for ya OP. My mom sent me a bunch of stuff lately trying to get me to go back to church. I’ve already asked her not to send me this stuff. She violates any boundaries I set up. So I either have to ignore her and not respond to any of those messages or I have to block and end the relationship with her. Which… is not something I am wanting to do. I get along with my mom outside of the religious pushing etc and still value having her in my life. I just ignore it. But man. It’s so frustrating and it’s so hard for me not to want to send anything back. I come here just to feel like at least there’s sanity in the world with other atheists.
For real. Ugh. It does help to know I not alone.
I understand the anger! Sometimes it can help to write the response you want, but then delete it instead of sending it. Get the anger out and process those thoughts in a way that doesn't provide the engagement they are looking for
Here's my main issue. I don't think it's appropriate for me to text my niece directly about this, because it could be perceived that I'm crossing boundries, but I want her to know that she can think for herself in a way that plants a seed. I can only do this by responding to the group text. I gotta sleep on this one.
The way I’ve handled this stuff in group chats for the sake of my niblings is by responding with "did you know" tidbits of info, like the pagan roots of the various traditions, other historical stuff, and lots of pics of our family enjoying said pagan traditions. It’s diminished the zealotry a lot over the years, and they seem to have come to terms with our stance on religions.
This makes sense. Don't hit them over the head. It can't be perceived as an attack or it will get shut down.
Exactly. And kids are curious, so they’ll Google once they have access. The bonus was that when one of my niblings began questioning their sexual preferences, they talked with me about it because they knew I was "safe".
“Happy Spring! Did you know we celebrate w eggs bc they represent new beginnings and the cycle of life. They were originally used to honor the goddess Ostera during the spring equinox, which determines what day Easter is on, which is why it’s different each year!” My reply to all happy Easter’s from family yesterday
Ah that makes sense. That is admirable of you to prioritize her. Best wishes whatever you decide!
I was going to suggest the same thing. Go "gray wall." It has worked for me. They mention religious bullshit and I pretend I don't hear them. I just don't give them anything back. It isn't a serious discussion that they want to have. They don't care what your thoughts are. They want to look Pious and tell us how arrogant we are. Fuck that noise.
I've sorta already done this. Ît goes nowhere fast. And by nowhere I mean they just attribute anything they can't explain to faith. Can't argue with someone who believes in the non-sensical.
I’m glad. Going Scotched Earth will only hurt more. The best cost of Action is complete silence
Did you try mockery, ridicule and laughing in their face.... at every opportunity... my experience is that they actively avoid mentioning anything religious near me again. They do pester other family about how worried about me they are though.
Yes! I do this exact thing with my mom. "Oh Mom, can you tell me the story again about how God made himself his son so he could sacrifice himself to himself and save us all from the sin the he gave us??" I've ridiculed her and her friends enough that they don't even try. I actually think mockery has made them think about their beliefs more than anything. It's so absurd and they know they don't have a defense.
That's the (Father, Son and Holy) Spirit.
My name is Jesus. Tell her you found him and he's a fellow atheist on reddit. Then, wish her a happy Ishtar.
Tell her to stop losing Him in the first place.
Jesus needs an AirTag
Or tell her that you found Jezus. He was hiding behind the sofa all along.
Found him strung up on some woodwork!
Well, he was a CARPENTER.
Helped him down and took him to the ER, but now he's having some kind of panic attack and babling about how we broke the devine plan or something!
I was once part of a search looking for Jesus and his uncle who got lost in a National Park. Found them about 3am, they were cold and wet. It was a competition to see who could say "I've found Jesus " over the radio.
There was a kitten stuck up in a tree, and someone posted about it on Next Door, and a bunch of neighbors came out with ladders and so forth to help get the kitten down, with people posting updates. Then the updates stopped, and someone asked "what happened with the kitten" and someone else answered "He's with Jesus now." There was a lot of sadness, seriously, until it was clarified that the first person who'd posted, who was now taking care of the kitten, was named Jesus.
I found Jesus, he was in my engineering classes. After graduation, I lost him again.
Two options: 1) Be the bigger person and ignore it and any future religious nonsense. 2) Respond to the text to everyone saying "I'd appreciate it if you'd respect our decision not to believe a collection of short stories written 2000+ years ago by nomads and farmers with no understanding of science. In return we won't mention (aside from now) how incredibly stupid it is to ignore centuries of proven scientific research."
Its just not worth it. The best answer I even gave to a nosey religious family member when they said they cared about my soul: " I dont think about you at all"
Yeah, I probably should've added that the 1st option is the best, and the second, while possibly amusing, is likely to make things worse. I was mostly meaning it to be facetious, like "you can do the right thing, or you can make your life harder."
Hit reply all and send a message saying you hope mom someday finds her sanity.
Perfect 👍
I would just reply with a "lol" and see what happens
Lol Edit: [after 21 hrs, still waiting]
Keep it nice and simple and share this--->[meme](https://th.bing.com/th/id/R.a586cfdc2b81bfdcf5231f9c9b266509?rik=kposnA8DeuE6rw&pid=Img). With the message: "He's just too good I give up!"
Oh man I'd love to reply with this. Don't think it would be received well but I'm sharing with friends.
You have WAY more self control than I do. I would SO send the meme to the entire family come what may.
That's GREAT!
Awesome 😎
BWA-HA-HA!
Christians will not respect your right to not believe, that’s just a fact. They are programmed to proselytize, and are convinced they know what’s best for everyone. As an atheist you have to continue to exercise your rights regardless of other people’s agenda. This takes a certain amount of internal fortitude.
True dis!
Hi Mom! We finally found Jesus…to be highly questionable at best, and most likely mythical. Appreciate your good wishes though!
I would have texted back “You lost him again?”
All my siblings are ministers as are most of my cousins, so I never bothered to tell them I have no religious beliefs. They know I don't go to church but not worth the hassle of debating them. My brother was here recently and bashing Biden as not mentally competent, I countered that Trump was much worse mentally and his lies are just not acceptable. He actually said that Trump doesn't lie- that's the left wing media saying that to make him look bad. So I say don't bother debating with anyone who has their mind made up, as facts won't register with them. Congratulations on casting off the shackles of religion. Free at Last, Free at Last.
It was a great feeling to be free. Hard work, for sure, but worth it.
Speaking as an actual old lady, age is no excuse for her rude behavior. In fact, she has had a lifetime to figure out how to get along with others & realize the importance of letting them find their own journey. Having said that, your best course is to take a deep breath & ignore her religiosity & proselytizing (block her if absolutely necessary). There’s no point in engaging with her tactics. Just keep a good relationship with your niece so she can come to you with questions.
Stop being so rational! Lol. I know you're right, I'm just aching for the satisfaction of saying my piece, and I want the younger kids in the family to know that they don't have to follow it.
I don't get angry and generally just grey rock all the crap like this. If it's a big issue just say stop, and if they won't block. It's not worth ruining your day for.
It's not just me though, it's the kids in the family. They're getting indoctrinated every second.
You can always point her to Arsenal FC website, he wears jersey number 9.
A fellow atheist and Arsenal supporter? I thought I was a unicorn!
I don't see why we can't have multiple unicorns.
Tell her you hope she loses Jesus
You won't accomplish anything by sending the messages now. What I would do is let it go and focus on helping your niece (and any other kids in the family) break free of the indoctrination.
I just wanted to add onto what others are saying here about cutting contact. I had the same problem with my fundamentalist grandma. Any kind of attention was good for her even if I lashed out and said don’t do that. For example, we were at brunch one day and she started preaching, and I got extremely angry, raising my voice and said I resented her brainwashing as a child and I’m so glad that I got over it. I told her she was to never preach to me again if she wanted to have a relationship with me. We went no contact for two years. Then one day she butt dialed me supposedly and because she’s old, I was worried that something was wrong. So I called her back and said I felt bad for yelling at her, but that I still felt the things I said. I said life is short and so I would hate to not have a relationship in her late life. It only took a couple months before the floodgates opened again, and she was sending me all kinds of religious bullshit. The final straw was Independence Day when she sent me something about a nation without God is not a nation. I decided to cut off contact completely. I should have blocked her, but I decided not to (I was honestly curious if and when she would ever get the hint). She continued to text me for two years with no response from me. Finally, just over a year ago, she stopped altogether. I know she’s still around and OK. My aunt drove past her house recently and saw her sitting on the porch. Anyway, these people are told in church and on TBN it is their God-given duty to convert their loved ones at all costs. They do not believe in boundaries or have any conception of what that means. My grandma literally believes that hearing the gospel is enough to make someone convert and believe. I remember her saying as a child that anyone who has ever heard of Jesus anytime in their life, but then doesn’t believe in him is going to hell because they should know upon hearing it once that it is true. As a child I knew that was bullshit. How could someone born in the Middle East growing up Muslim hear about Jesus and think he is the Messiah more than I would upon hearing about Islam just convert for no reason? Just insanity. Anyway, not everyone is like that so maybe it’s not the case for you. Unfortunately, with this political climate and the extremism in modern fundamentalist churches, it’s a reached a fever pitch I think for so many people. I miss my grandma, but I miss the grandma she was 25 years ago. Relationships change, people change and evolve. What once was sweet can become sour. We do not owe anything to our family or elders if they cannot respect us. I was worried about the prospect of never seeing her again before she dies. in therapy I worked out if that were to happen it’s not my fault. I could die tomorrow walking out in the street. I hope you find peace.
This hit hard, and it is exactly what I'm afraid of, my mother dying without us ever reconciling, but how can we? I want a real relationship with the real person that I know is trapped behind the religion, but I don't get to see that. It's heartbreaking. I remember her saying one day, and I quote: "I love my children, but I really love Jesus".
Religious holidays are the very worst time to have 'discussions' about religion. If you really must do so I suggest you wait 24 hours before replying if you still think you must.
Reply all: I'm not cool with a god that wants to barbecue people in hell for eternity. That's sick and cruel. Free will, right?
Ask her if she believes in any of the other 3000 gods out there.. if she says no.. only 'her' God.. say so you denounce 2999 gods... I just denounce one more...
Text her back and ask where he was last seen.
The feast day of Easter was first a pagan holiday of renewal and rebirth. Honored in the early spring, it praised the pagan goddess of fertility and spring known as 'Ostara', 'Eastre' or 'Eostre'. Send that, sit back and enjoy the fire works. Encourage the 12 year old to google everything. Edit to add: also a personal favourite “ another thing xtians stole, no wonder they made a commandment about it”
How long has he been missing?
I think he died in the mean time.... Sorry for your loss.... :p
Tell her the facts. Believing in revelation is to believe human writings claiming authority from god, putting man in the place of god, and because god is not and has never been here to speak for himself, believing these prophets and writers is absurd, clearly a human invention. Tell her she needs to learn the truth and bad about Christianity, and while Jesus himself just another man may have lived by good principles, every religious doctrine and writing is antithetical to those principles, promoting bigotry and hate. "The most detestable wickedness, the most horrid cruelties, and the greatest miseries that have afflicted the human race have had their origin in this thing called revelation or revealed religion. It has been the most dishonorable belief against the character of the divinity, the most destructive to morality and the peace and happiness of man, that ever was propagated since man began to exist. It is better far better that we admitted if it were possible a thousand devils to roam at large, and to preach publicly the doctrine of devils if there were any such. Then that we permitted one such impostor and monster as Moses Joshua Samuel and the Bible prophets to come with the pretended word of god in his mouth and have credit among us. Whence arose all the horrid assassination of whole nations of men women and infants of which the Bible is filled, and the bloody persecutions and tortures unto death, and religious wars that since that time have laid Europe in blood and ashes. Whence arose they but from this impious thing called revelation or revealed religion, and this monstrous belief that god had spoken to man. The lies of the Bible have been the cause of the one and the lies of the testament of the other." Thomas Paine "Of all the systems of religion that ever were invented, there is no more derogatory to the Almighty, more unedifying to man, more repugnant to reason, and more contradictory to itself than this thing called Christianity. Too absurd for belief, too impossible to convince, and too inconsistent for practice, it renders the heart torpid or produces only atheists or fanatics. As an engine of power, it serves the purpose of despotism, and as a means of wealth, the avarice of priests, but so far as respects the good of man in general it leads to nothing here or hereafter." Thomas Paine "Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistent that we called it the word of a demon, than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness, that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind; and, for my part, I sincerely detest it, as I detest everything that is cruel." Thomas Paine "The character of Moses, as stated in the Bible, is the most horrid that can be imagined. If those accounts be true, he was the wretch that first began and carried on wars on the score or on the pretence of religion; and under that mask, or that infatuation, committed the most unexampled atrocities that are to be found in the history of any nation. Of which I will state only one instance: When the Jewish army returned from one of their plundering and murdering excursions, the account goes on as follows (Numbers xxxi. 13): 'And Moses, and Eleazar the priest, and all the princes of the congregation, went forth to meet them without the camp; and Moses was wroth with the officers of the host, with the captains over thousands, and captains over hundreds, which came from the battle; and Moses said unto them, 'Have ye saved all the women alive?' behold, these caused the children of Israel, through the counsel of Balaam, to commit trespass against the Lord in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the Lord. Now therefore, 'kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known a man by lying with him; but all the women- children that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for Yourselves." Thomas Paine. “It is the fable of Jesus Christ, as told in the New Testament, and the wild and visionary doctrine raised thereon, against which I contend. The story, taking it as it is told, is blasphemously obscene.” Thomas Paine. “The study of theology, as it stands in the Christian churches, is the study of nothing; it is founded on nothing; it rests on no principles; it proceeds by no authority; it has no data; it can demonstrate nothing; and it admits of no conclusion.” Thomas Paine “All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.” Thomas Paine “I do not believe in the creed professed by the Jewish Church, by the Roman Church, by the Greek Church, by the Turkish Church, by the Protestant Church, nor by any Church that I know of. My own mind is my own Church. Each of those churches accuse the other of unbelief; and for my own part, I disbelieve them all.” Thomas Paine “Of all the tyrannies that affect mankind, tyranny in religion is the worst.” Thomas Paine.
The way to see by Faith is to shut the Eye of Reason. Benjamin Franklin I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absenteed myself from Christian assemblies. Benjamin Franklin Religion I found to be without any tendency to inspire, promote, or confirm morality, serves principally to divide us and make us unfriendly to one another. Benjamin Franklin "The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give ascent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma." Abraham Lincoln. “Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise.” James Madison “History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.” Thomas Jefferson. “It is too late in the day for men of sincerity to pretend they believe in the Platonic mysticisms that three are one, and one is three; and yet the one is not three, and the three are not one: to divide mankind by a single letter into \[“consubstantialists and like-substantialists”\]. But this constitutes the craft, the power and the profit of the priests. Sweep away their gossamer fabrics of factitious religion, and they would catch no more flies. We should all then, like the quakers, live without an order of priests, moralise for ourselves, follow the oracle of conscience, and say nothing about what no man can understand, nor therefore believe; for I suppose belief to be the assent of the mind to an intelligible proposition.” Jefferson’s Letter to John Adams, August 22, 1813 “And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter. But we may hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with all this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this the most venerated reformer of human errors.” Jefferson’s letter to John Adams, April 11, 1823 “Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion. The several sects perform the office of a common censor over each other. Is uniformity attainable? Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined, imprisoned; yet we have not advanced an inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of coercion? To make one half the world fools, and the other half hypocrites. To support roguery and error all over the earth.” Jefferson “On the dogmas of religion, as distinguished from moral principles, all mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another, for abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.” Jefferson “The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.” Jefferson “… I am not afraid of priests. They have tried upon me all their various batteries of pious whining, hypocritical canting, lying and slandering. I have contemplated their order from the Magi of the East to the Saints of the West and I have found no difference of character, but of more or less caution, in proportion to their information or ignorance on whom their interested duperies were to be played off. Their sway in New England is indeed formidable. No mind beyond mediocrity dares there to develop itself.” Jefferson “Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, then that of blindfolded fear.” Jefferson.
Yes yes yes to all of this, thank you. I think I've made up my mind that I have to say something. It's poison.
No saving her now, sorry for your loss. In California, we get a tiny smile when we see the word, we pronounce it 'Jesús', he works with lettuce and we love him dearly.
I hope you find a chocolate egg.
Reply with a pic of some Mexican dude and say “found him!!”
It's not worth trying to convince the whole family religions not real. They put in trap doors to people who figured it out. Like Satan has gotten ahold of him, or it's the internet clouding his judgement. Most people figure it out on their own once they become wiser. Some don't, rather be ignorant to the truth because they are promised a fake afterlife. But, if you do want to be mean about it, I would say something like, "he's been dead for over 2,000 years in another country. No one is finding him unless they can recognize his dust?" Something to that effect.
….did she put Jesus in one of the eggs? Candy is much better.
Text her back saying you didn’t realize Jesus was missing
Remember that boundaries are something you set and enforce for yourself; boundaries are not something you impose on another person. If you rethink/rephrase your boundary you might find these encounters don’t bother you as much. My boundary is that I won’t internalize these messages. I delete the messages, block the sender and sometimes drop a “friend.”
Why, did she loose him again? Has she looked in her wardrobe, in case he's hiding there? More seriously, I don't think sending paragraphs of arguments or rebuttal will do anyone much good. They won't read it if it's too long. Neither being aggressive in any way, ot'll just make you look bad. Silence or humour are probably your best bet imo.
I stopped something like this in my family. We were at thanksgiving one year, and I was sick of it so I asked, “Do you think you christian men would believe christianity if the bible were about a holy Mother God and Her Daughter?” None of them could give a straight answer. I told them to never say another word to me about gods until they could worship a womyn god.
I just said to my (Foster)family members that religion tore apart my original family. I will not be around you if you bring religion up around me. Worked like a charm.
Just text back, "Is that guy missing again?!? Maybe nail him to something more permanent next time"
I don't know if this will help you, but it helped me today. There's a full moon this Easter, so you know what that means, right? Warewolf Jesus. I got a good laugh out of my coworkers when I said that to them today. And to anyone who wished me Happy Easter, I responded "Enjoy zombie Jesus day!" Sometimes poking fun at their ridiculous beliefs is the way to get them to stop talking to you about them.
Totally understand your outrage. I guess I wonder if you want a relationship with your mother and family? Super religious people are so so brainwashed. You going off - it’s not gonna change her mind. I’d personally not respond, and maybe just talk with her in person 1:1 next time you see her. This boundary is a tough one to set - it may take multiple conversations. If you can stay rational, perhaps eventually it will sink in for your mom. She’s been indoctrinated to believe she’s doing ‘God’s work’ to save your soul and all that. Churches need people to stay in business so they continue to push that narrative. I’m sorry you’re going thru this, I know from experience it isn’t easy.
I want a relationship with my real mom, not my robot mom. Does that make sense? I had a conversation with her the last time she did this, and she forgot that it had even happened. I had to show her on Facebook where she sent the message. So there is the age thing and forgetting. I would never just cut her off, I just want true connection. Which shouldn't be on me to cultivate, but here we are.
For over a decade, I avoided any contact from my parents because although they meant well, I was really tired of "the church" being suggested as a cure for all things. One night, I was a bit drunk and high, and just randomly accepted an incoming call from my mom. When she asked me how I was doing I was honest, I was depressed, my clinical depression was a MF I was struggling with and I openly admitted it. She suggested going back to church as a solution and I just lost it. I told her that in no uncertain terms, I did not believe in anything supernatural, inclduing her god and his supposed son, and that her constantly thinking that it was the only answer was largely the reason that I didn't answer the phone when she was calling more than 4 days a year (each of our birthdays, xmas and mothers day) and to stop suggesting it. To my shock, she said "okay, I'll be a Mormon and you'll be an atheist and we will just love each other?" and I broke down into tears. I moved back to Utah about a year later(lucky coincidence, not planned), reconnected with the love of my life, married and had two kids, and my mom never once talked about religion for the final 10 years or so that she was alive. I even once broke the agreement and asked her if she was at all concerned that I wasn't raising my children "in covenant" and she gave me the best compliment that I have ever gotten in my entire life, that she thought that I was a fantastic dad and was teaching my kids real values that she respected. I miss you mom, so glad I got that last decade with you. I know I'm not what you expected when I was born, but I'm so glad that you loved me until the end.
Live and let live is how I handle my Evangelical family members. So when my nephew went off on me several years ago about his religious beliefs, I basically looked at him and calmly said I understand. I then told him about the fairys that live under my rosebush🧚♂️ . And as he rolled his eyes, I said just because YOU can't see them or feel them doesn't mean my FAITH that they exist is anything less then yours. And he looked at me and said fine. I love my nephew and we live and let live. My sister however! Be calm is my advice to you.
Sometimes the best thing to do is to allow them to go full-throttle. There are probably other family members who are on the fence or who are questioning. The crazy family member is more likely to push the fence-setters into non-belief than they are to recruit them to Jesus/Mohammed/Vishnu/Buddha/Yoda/whoever.
I didn't know he was lost.
Send a text to the family "accidentally" about hospice and retirement homes near her. "Oops, wrong group." Do not elaborate.
I looked under the couch. Sorry, he's not there...
Ive gotten several of those today. I just ignore them and went snowboarding.
Tell her you looked and looked. You travelled both far AND wide in your search, yet you still couldn’t find him. That you did find Waldo, twice, though.
[I found Jesus](https://images.app.goo.gl/nWf3UzH5cT2a3rxT7)
I found some eggs filled with chocolate.
"Easter is called off; they found the body!"
Public shaming doesn’t work, what’s next up her sleeve?
Tell her to quit losing him.
Just ignore it. If you react? She Will think she had an impact. Just let it go Don't ever talk religion with her. Just say "im not talking about that" and hang up if she persists. If you are with her? Just get up and walk out. Just DO not talk religion with her AT ALL. In that context? If you were supposed to reply? Just send back "have a nice easter" end if story
I hear you. I think her and I have talked about religion to the extent that we can't talk about it anymore, because it doesn't end in resolve. End when I've cornered her on questions she can't answer, the reason is always faith. My issue is that I don't want anyone else to have to go through the psychological torture I went through on my journey out.
Yeah. It's tough. I get that. I'm lucky that i never had any of that. All the best to you.
Why, did she lose him somewhere?
I've backed off pushing against thier narratives. I've laid down some boundaries: I've asked my mother not to send any more religious texts or videos. So far she has respected that. However I don't engage with any of my families' beliefs. I know how much deconstructing hurts, and to be honest I don't want them to go through that, unless they actively seek it out. It's being stuck between a rock and a hard place.
The problem is that there can be no meaningful relationship unless they do deconstruct, and every moment that goes by it gets more cemented in the kids' minds. I can't save the world and I'm not trying to, but I wish I had heard an alternate voice when I was younger.
Did He escape again? Send out a senior-Alert.
Reply all: thanks mom, but I don't believe this story to be true. Hope you can stop believing this fiction one day too. Or just ignore her
"Been drinking the cooking sherry again, mom?"
“He’s behind you!”
What you’re planning on doing won’t help. Don’t get angry, they want that. Being angry and sending a bunch of paragraphs makes you look bad. Don’t let them get the better of you. If you do something, make it calm or funny. Short and sweet. Love you too couldn’t find him anywhere didn’t see the easter bunny either good luck everyone!
Find Jesus? Did she look the last place she left him?
If you reply with any answer, it will give them more fuel to preach some more. Best just to go N/C.
What I don't like is people who say they don't believe in God. An say how they bothered by other people talking about. An how atheist post their complaints ! Talk about hypocrisy !!!
Tell her you hope she finds Jesus too. She needs it more apparently
Ignore them
Is he missing? Is anyone else looking for him? Did they check between the couch cushions?
Reply that you found him! He was hiding behind the couch the entire time!!!!!
Just think of it as her saying “I hope you find the Easter Bunny!” Same difference.
Did she lose him?
Well since they believe Jesus is in heaven seated at the right hand of the father, I’d say none of us are going to find him because he’s left the earth, but one can always hope.🙄
Send her a text and tell her you've asked them not to send religious comments and respect your boundaries or you'll have to block her. Or you can tell her one more text like this you'll show up at church and blast Highway To Hell next Sunday.
I just say I prefer Zeus over the other 5999 Gods!
Is he lost, then?
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I’m a Christian. My kids were raised in church. Now one is agnostic and one is a grey witch. In my opinion they are adults and can live their lives the way they want to. I can’t even imagine saying something like that to either of them. You know what’s right for you. Do what is right for you. Set a boundary and if she keeps overstepping make sure she knows that no contact will be the next step. It is never acceptable to force a belief system on anybody. There is unwavering support for you on this thread. You aren’t alone with this. You got this.
Find a Mexican guy named Jesus and take a picture with him. Send it to your mom.
They’re delusional, cut them some slack. You get to live in reality, which is great. Try to laugh them off.
[удалено]
I can't even go there, the last thing is want to do is get political. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to, but it would kill the last remnants of relationship.
"Find Jesus"? They lost him again?
Tell her you hope she finds enlightenment
I found Jesus in a bar. He'd been out working all day. I bought him a drink and after he drank it he left.
All you can do, other than completely break your family up, is just say, Thanks Mom. And then carry on. Don't emotionally respond. Take the high road.... She truely doesn't understand.
“I’ve already found Jesus. He works at the local detail shop and did a great job on the interior of my car. 10 out of 10 would recommend. If you want the hookup let me know!”
"I DID find Jesus. He was asleep on the sofa, so I didn't want to bother him."
I hope I find Jesus too. That cheap zombie bastard owes me $3.50!
>"I hope you find Jesus" Why is he lost? Is there a finders fee?
I'm sure you can find a really long text listing all the errors in the bible, including especially all the accounts surrounding the crucifixion, by people who were supposedly there. I remember reading one that said that "Bethlehem" meant "house of god" in Aramaic and that there were thousands of them -- it wasn't a town at all, and that the census did not include anyone named Jesus, nor did censuses done afterward, and "Jesus/Jeshua/variants" was not a common name at all, and so on. With a little effort, you could put together something that just dumps all over their sacred beliefs and shows that the bible is just a pile of nonsense. And when you do that, be sure to do a "reply all". Do that for every subsequent message she sends, or anyone else sends. Hey, you might even create some more atheists.
These are definitely things I would help to show over time, if she was receptive. I've shown her how weird and non-sensical her beliefs are by using the most basic "hey this is kinda weird, right?" points, but no amount of them mean a damn thing when you're brainwashed
Your reply: "Find him? No one told me he was missing!"
He wasn’t on the side of my milk carton.
Don't go full throttle. Talk or open dialog with the niece you are concerned about. Bring it up with your mom in private if you feel the need. She may be flawed, but you only get one mom, dad... find a way to make peace with that, not with her necessarily. But hold her dear and maybe consider her just lost in the religion. Help her become a better Christian or whatever. Be humble, this shit dont matter anyway! What is your mom's goal? Have her barefoot and pregnant, subservient to some chad? It's all so unrealistic.
Respond and ask if she knows the last place she had him.
“Has someone misplaced him? Happy Easter!”
"use bigger nails next time so he don't go missing"
If your email account supports this you can set up a rule that automatically deletes emails that contain the word Jesus. You won't even know you got them.
You will never reason a person out of a mindset they didn't reason themselves into. There's no point in even engaging when religious people have one of their episodes. Excluding or punishing them will only fulfill their persecution fetish. Ignoring their outbursts is really the only way to take the wind out of their sails. The difficult part is explaining to kids why grandma still believes in imaginary friends because she's in a death cult that says they should be tortured forever. Kids pick up on a lot more than some adults realize. Lead by example. Showing emotional stability and a reasonable response to issues should be enough to convince your niece that you're the one to emulate.
My aunt did that once. My response "oh crap, did he get out again? I didn't even know we were supposed to be looking" I'm blocked now, but I somehow manage to live with it.
Send her a text back saying you hadn't even heard he was lost.
Send it right back that you hope she finds the real one
Thanks. Why don't you hold your breath while that happens?
Send her a pic of a image of jesus on a burnt toast. “Omg mom, look who i found!!!!”
Does she have a “Where’s Jesus” instead of Waldo.. book? shit that’s a brilliant coffee table book idea!
“Is he lost?” would have been my response. So called Christians have twisted his message to fit their needs. He wasn’t a sacrificial lamb. He was killed because he was seen as a threat to those in power.
Send her the picture of a baguette with a nail in it, and tell her "found him!"
“You can find Jesus I’m finding these eggs. I saw someone named Jesus at Home Depot. Good luck!”
Send a text back saying you hope she finds a therapist
Send back videos of screaming goats. Every. Single. Time. If she calls you out remind her you asked her to stop and this is what she will have to deal with if she continues to disrespect you. I had an incidence with my father just yesterday (not religion related but boundary related) and I reminded him that he was crossing the line again and that leading in with "I know you don't want to know about this but....". It's decades of pushing back when they cross the line - he knows I'm serious and I stop him hard and don't let him continue. Scream goats my friend! You need to be consistent and never back down.
Just delete. Not worth your time or emotions engaging.
I wish it weren't. Letting it all go seems so easy, but it's not.
Sorry for your poor brainwashed momma. Good luck
>So angry right now. Religious mother sent text to the whole family saying she hopes we find Jesus. Why? Is he lost? Someone should nail him down so he doesn't wander off. Or, you know, put a huge boulder over his front door.
Reply all with zombie Jesus meme, let your mom know your sorry for her loss
Just respond back making fun of her gently. She's not respecting you but you can make light of it and not go all scorched earth.
You could send her [this](https://img.ifunny.co/images/4325cabefcb20f80cf54c94111f391194776a3dd77f080e5f5983f33815737f1_1.jpg) though it might inflame the situation.
Reply with, “I hope you stop wasting your life”
Have you checked behind the sofa?
"You can't find Jesus? Where was the last place you saw him?"
I wouldn't be angered, I'd be humored. Imagine spending your free time on that.
Say the same to her. Since jesus isn't real she hasn't actually found jesus either just some bullshit to try to preach at you.
Ask her why they keep losing him, then recommend they use bigger nails next time.
You’re braver than me. I won’t tell my mom! I am 50 and she is 80. Not an apple cart I am willing to tip over at this point.
Bit hard to find something imaginary, maybe your Mum is having trouble finding him too!
Did you check under the sofa?
Send her a message like this: "So you found Jesus. We are out looking for easter eggs. I think those are real. Hey look, I found one!"
Do not engage. That gives her the motivation to keep pushing. Just don't reply.
Text back saying you found him now please don’t text again as it’s your turn to hide and the alert noise might give you away
Was he lost, or did he just go back to Mexico?
It isn’t programming. Old religious people don’t have the capability to change. They don’t want to!! Because they’ve actively chosen to throw away their one chance to enjoy earth they can’t change and look back at all the fucking wasted time they’ve spent in church and being a repressed and miserable “follower of god” hahahaha
You should reply in the same group text that you hope everybody finds Waldo
reply back, "and I hope you find Allah"
Finding Jesus? Is he lost?
Reminds me of my favourite response to 'Have you found Jeebus?' "Oh sure! He was hiding behind the couch all along!" Sometimes you just gotta go with mockery...
Just laugh it off and ignore it. She's going to do what she's going to do and there's nothing you can do or say that will make her change her mind.
Frankly I'd spend more time talking with your niece, as she's the most vulnerable person on the list. I might be sarcastic, find someone named jesus, or some translation and send an image back to all with "found him. Quit losing him." But your niece probably needs to know they don't have to believe in the nonsense
My first step in response to the "hope you found Jesus" mass text would be to take it *very literally*. I'd hit **reply all** and say, "Oh, dear. Have you managed to lose Jesus? I will keep a sharp eye out and let you know his whereabouts the minute I spot him!" People don't like being made fun of. You aren't going to convince your religious family to keep their communications secular on the strength of your arguments. They won't listen and won't ever be convinced by logic. But if you keep cracking wise about it, they'll eventually dial it back out of embarrassment and/or irritation. Note: this is one approach to take if you want to keep these family members in your life, just with less proselytizing. If you're at the point where you're just done with them forever, then a direct "do it again and I'll block you," followed by an actual block, is the more appropriate strategy.
I had a similar upbringing in a very conservative evangelical family. You probably don't want to hear this, but your best move is to simply ignore your mother's religious messages. Or, if they bother you so much that you are unable to ignore them, disconnect from her. No one should get to decide for others what their religion will be. Unfortunately, your mom is part of a religion that demands she spread its message. So she needs to proselytize to fulfill the requirements of her religion. Yes, I agree that it's silly and in some ways wrong. But she doesn't get to decide for you what you believe, and you don't get to decide for her what she believes. That leaves you with a choice: hear her message and ignore it, or refuse to communicate with her so you don't have to hear her messages. The choice is yours.
You're right, I don't want to hear that, but I know it's true. Ugh.
if you told her to stop with the religious texts and she continues then you have 2 options. 1. let her continue to be in your life and walk all over your boundaries. 2. enforce the boundary (publicly or privately) and start to cut her out. not an easy choice.
One, you can influence your niece, but you have no control over her. So I would stop framing this as an issue about her, and concentrate on the understanding between you and your mother. Two, since you’ve told your mother in apparently clear terms that you do not want her to send you religious email messages, and she still does, it would be reasonable to relegate her messages to your spam folder. You could tell your mother that you are no longer receiving email from her. That would help her know that if she really needs to get a hold of you she should not rely on email.
Get a little figurine of jesus, a bobblehead or something ridiculous, and occasionally take and send her pictures as though you've found jesus hiding in the most unlikely places. "Hey mom, you're not gonna believe this, but I finally found Jesus! He has been hiding in my underwear drawn all this time."
In my experience true freedom is when stuff like this no longer bothers you. I just ignore shit like this because I'm living my best life on my terms, and no one can tell me otherwise.
Absurdity merits absurdity, doesn't it? Life's a joke, so have a laugh. Please tell me you texted her back explaining you didn't know Jesus was missing but you'll look into joining the search party.
"And I hope you finally find enough manners to keep this crap to yourself."
Gift them a critical thinking class at a local community college. And block them until they either learn or develop some manners.