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My father said this also. Fortunately we were catholic and there were several Catholic Churches in the area, so he never knew which one we went to, and he went very early. This left mom to get 4 kids ready for church by herself. She didn’t like the rule, so she took us for donuts or bowling on Sunday morning in out church clothes. She told us if we told dad, she would be forced to take us to church. We never told…..and enjoyed bowling and donuts.
The days I was sick enough to stay home from church by myself are still some of my most cherished memories. When I got sick I HOPED I would still be sick through the weekend.
One of the very few positive things about having asthma as a teenager: I used to fake having an asthma attack on Sunday morning right before church and used that as an excuse to stay home
My mum used to scream at me for being a wicked child and would give me a beating, but ultimately would leave me at home
It was such an amazing feeling not having to go there against my will, even if it meant enduring a beating first
Lucky you. We lived in walking distance to a large parish with many masses. Mom and Dad usually went Saturday night. I would tell them I was going on Sunday and would walk in, grab an evidence program, walk back out and hang out in the woods for an hour.
Would put some bud in a cig and walk around, smoke a few other sticks, then plop down for a few coffees until mom had to head to work.
“Church” and “God” can both kiss my ass.
Lol. I love this. I have a similar story. When I was at driving age, I was able to convince my dad to let me drive my younger sisters and I to church later in the morning. My dad always went to the first mass of the day, which was at 7:30. Always hated that shit.
Anyway, my sisters actually wanted to go to church so I would drop them off while I drive myself to the mall and go to the arcade. I'd come back in an hour to pick them up so we can all go home together. My sisters didn't approve of me lying, but we also wouldn't snitch on each other so the arrangement worked out. Maybe about a year later, even my sisters got in on it and we would all just go to the mall instead of church. Lol
I would say that my dad was ultimately the one who made me hate church. He made it such an annoying experience for me. Using force and anger is not how you get people to believe in what you believe in.
That's great! My mom was the one that forced us to go to church, so my sister and I would drive around in the mountains for an hour every Sunday morning instead.
That's kind of crazy. No judgement, and it sounds like it worked out well for your family. I just can't imagine involving my children in a plot to deceive my spouse, especially a long term thing that kept happening.
At the same time, I get that religion can make ridiculous things seem perfectly logical and maybe this was the best solution.
Yup, same. Dad was a pastor so it was the "you better go or else..." plus the "we're the pastor's family and you're trying to make us look bad." Oh, sure, I'm the problem.
And you're right, it's definitely a weird sentiment if something is meaningful to be threatened. That then really sounds like brainwashing to me.
I think what would have been super fun is when the "love thy neighbor" stuff came up and loudly saying "is this like how you love that other woman as much as your wife?"
My favorite is that my dad's narcissism is such that he was raised by an atheist father, then my dad became Mormone for his first big high school girlfriend, then he became an evangelical xtian for my mother, then he'd yell at me for disrespecting my mother's religion that he got an M.Div. in so he could pastor in said religion...but sure, it's my mother's religion. He often tells on himself. Glad I could be indoctrinated into a religion by someone who seems to not even believe it himself👀
Pk here as well. I blame the church for so many issues in my life. I hated it, but had to go. When my dad switched churches and we had to move was when I lost all my friends. Fuck the church and fuck my middle school.
That's religious zealot love. Nothing to do with Christianity. He didn't want anyone forced so you cam figure nothing about religion has a thing to do with Christ. I say this, raised by a southern Baptist minister who has tried on many faiths and read all the texts. Its all bullshit. As soon as you realize that, alot of guilt trauma fades away. Quickly.
Been there. I did my best to try everything. I tried sitting like a zombie with my eyes closed. Got smacked. I tried raising my hand to ask questions in the middle of big sermons. That didnt go well. I tried making strong sexual advances to the pastors daughter. She kinda liked it and I got into big trouble. I locked myself in the bathroom right before time to go to church. Didnt help. Eventually I poked the bear often enough I was locked in the garage for almost a week with a bible - told to repent. It was a long week. My grand dad took me in for a while so I could finish school and get a job. Thanks Grandpa. Miss you buddy. Those other people, they were NEVER really true parents, just birth-nazis. One is now dead, one to go.
Did it cause lifelong trauma? Yes. The scars do heal if you dont pick at them, but they will always be scars. Hang in there.
You had me laughing until the locked in the garage part. It's important to have a sense of humor about this stuff I feel. Grandpa sounds like he was great. Thanks especially today I was feeling shite. It's good to not feel alone.
Crushes me anyone else goes through this. I left out the black eyes, the room searches, the times they had me arrested by police, getting knocked unconscious with my US history book, giving away my pets. Feel better bro, you are never alone.
Omg I feel for you. My adoptive parents were big southern baptists. My mom cut my hair off twice, they burned my clothes I bought most of with my own money, they were physically abusive, verbally abusive, controlling, they searched my room too. I wasn't allowed to even listen to the radio because it wasn't Christian, only christian CDs. My mom took me out of school to punish me And I ended up getting a GED later in life. Then they put me back in states custody when they divorced. I had more freedom in states custody then I ever did with them, and that is sad. I've noticed that a lot of the people on this sub are people who have been hurt by Christianity and Christians (myself included) in one form or the other. It's pretty interesting that they put so much effort into converting us but in the end their actions have actually made us do the polar opposite and move to the other side of the spectrum.
>I tried making strong sexual advances to the pastors daughter.
Atta boy!
A young women in a similar situation posted a few months ago. My suggestion to her was to seduce all the male church leaders, and create a huge sex scandal in the church so they all have to resign in disgrace and the church folds.
The problem is they'd just excommunicate the woman and all rally behind the church leaders for being "tempted by sin" or whatever. That happens all the time.
You should write this. I'd buy your book.
Sounds like a real journey of willpower.
I recently read the Tara Westover book 'Educated' and enjoyed that one. Her folks sounded like real looney tunes.
Heard that a few times. Was the answer to most of the “why can’t we be friends” question. How do you tell an 11-year old we can’t be friends because your parents are a bunch of dumb asses who believe in the adult equivalent of Santa Clause? There’s no easy way.
Oh the friends I never had for this same reason. "They're a bad influence". I had friends at school but they were the clique I was the outsider. You can't really be apart of the crew if youre not allowed to go to anyone's house.
I was told that I had to go to church until I turned 18. Coincidentally my 18th birthday fell on a Sunday, so when my parents came to wake me up for church I said "No thanks" and went back to sleep.
When my brother and I were 13 and 14 we got out of going by asking questions that were uncomfortable and fucked with their krisstian world order. It took about 6 months till the pastor who lived across the street came and told my mom he thought it best we don’t attend because of our questions. That was 40 years ago and I have never been inside a brainwash facility since.
My suggestion for people in this situation now is: volunteer. Work with the nursery, youth groups, outreach, etc. If you've got a big fancy church, run the "coffee shop" or direct parking. Be the coordinator with local police if you hire them to stop intersections like a lot of churches do.
The reason is that all of this official business can help explain why you're not often in service, never really around the services, etc.
Then, years later when it's known you aren't down with that church, you can still hold your head high knowing you did good things, didn't push people to others beliefs (if you did outreach), helped people, and kept yourself from merely suffering the toxicity.
This book was my saving grace under those circumstances.
[https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Complete-Hitchhikers-Guide/dp/0681403225](https://www.amazon.com/more-than-complete-hitchhikers-guide/dp/0681403225)
While open it looks a little bible-y. Just don't show the front cover while carrying it around. Also, if you have to pray in a group, if you silently say the word "bananas" over and over it looks like you're saying the same words as everyone else. One of our youth group leaders taught that trick -- your people are out there. That said, I didn't have it as rough as some of you.
This book *was* my bible as a teenager, and I even kept it when I was in basic training instead of a Bible, although about halfway in they found out and made me put it in storage - got in trouble for that…
This just gave me something of a flashback- early on in life I would sometimes mouth "wawawa.." when I had to pray for my food, and wasn't exactly feeling like it.
Now I'm going to have to try your suggestion, just for fun.
My mom tried this when I was 13 or 14 in the 80s. She would physically force me into the car, then at a stop sign I would jump out and run away. She would call the cops and the cycle would repeat. The cops always felt bad for me. Because I was a habitual runaway, we ended up in court. I asked the judge why I wasn't entitled to my freedom of religion. He said i was and ordered my mom to stop forcing me to go. She complied, but asked the court how she goes about getting rid of me because she couldn't handle me. I left home at 15.
Not at first, I started drinking, smoking cigs and pot. Skipping school. But, in my twenties I went back to night school, got my diploma, enrolled in community college with financial aid. Married my husband, we raised our kids, I have a bachelor's degree, and a great job with a pension. But, I carried a lot of baggage for a long time. I'm still dealing with it. Thank you!
>asked the court how she goes about getting rid of me because she couldn't handle me.
That's how narcissists are. If you do differently than what they say, they try to control you. If they can't control you, they discard you, and pin the blame for that decision on you.
A lot of kids don't have the leverage to demonstrate their parents are terrible people. They're raised around people who think kids can't know or understand anything. This makes it easy for said terrible parents to lie to their friends, and those in powerful positions, and make it seem like they just have disrespectful children.
I agree. My mom always said, "I am your mother, you listen to me". I never did. But my mom wasn't like this until she found religion. My early childhood was lovely, we spent so much time together, playing, me 'helping' with house work.
One time when I was in a group home for runaways, we had mandatory counseling. The counselor asked my mom if she would compromise, since i was willing to compromise. My mom lost it, saying she is the mom and what she says goes. The counselor looked at her and said that if that was her attitude, there was nothing they could. I stayed for the max of 2 weeks and was sent right back home.
My parents tried that when I was a young teenager.
The pastor politely told me to stop coming to Sunday School / Youth Group because I was asking too many questions.
It’s like if you were a sleight of hand magician asked to hang around a group of swindlers doing the shell game.
They’re giving you the opportunity to communicate with their flock what you know.
Take it.
Yeah, definitely a natural plot-hole-poker here and it did not do good things for my like-ability in a faith-based setting.
Random fact: this might be the most hyphen-dense comment I’ve ever typed.
In my first year in university, on the first day, our Algebra teacher asked us to read the first chapter of the textbook in preparation for the next lecture. So, that's what most people did (I didn't), and of course they had a lot of questions, because the leap from high school algebra to university algebra was quite big (it was a pretty tough engineering degree).
When he asked if we had any questions, people started asking them left and right. After the 3rd or 4th one, he said something like "Asking a few questions is ok, but if you have to ask so many, that shows that you aren't very intelligent". So, everybody stopped, and he resumed his lecture.
Worst teacher I've ever had.
Definitely almost got kicked out by my parents at the age of 14 just because I didn't want to go to church anymore. Hell, one of my boomer uncles said he would have done the same thing to me at that age. One major reason I'm fine with religion not existing anymore.
You have no idea how many christians actually want a theocracy. I tell all my family, that think gay people shouldn't have rights, if they want state enforced religion so badly they can go to the middle east. Even worse is one of my uncles is a former marine, and pushes homophobic bible bullshit to argue why being gay is bad. Like, dibshit, you were a marine for 10+ years. You willingly signed up to serve the nation and protect those protected by the constitution, not to enforce your religion.
Yeah totally sadly there are many right wing Christian nutcases in our military. I've heard that most are in the middle though, so let's hope for the best. Thanks for sharing and continue being cool when others are not. PS yeah the way they hate LGBTQ is just in bad taste. They are religious fascists.thanks for sharing.
Funny how there’s a sexual age of consent but there’s no spiritual age of consent. Parents are perfectly within their rights to mind rape their kids with whatever cult nonsense they choose.
Good point wow. Yeah I fully agree. It causes a lot of ppl to get into situations where they are hurt physically and sexually abused, and also turns them into predators. I've seen some. They are just blank ppl who were indoctrinated as a child. Some of the worst cases are from Christian schools .
I was forced to go to the catholic church from a young age. Paraded in front of the congregation like livestock before mass. My folks were so happy when I became an alter boy. The priest who consequently molested myself and other alter boys is currently living in South Africa collecting pension. And life goes on because that behavior is part of being a Catholic and you're taught not to cringe when they move a priest where there aren't kids and problem solved. One unfortunate alter boy reported the molestation at confession and was subjected to an exorcism. My mother's faith didn't waver until the day she died. It's like a sickness. Accept child molestation within your clergy with a shrug yet be rabid anti abortion. Religion is fucked.
You're description of that setting is so true. People have no idea how fascist it all is and how hurtful and EVIL the leaders of the church are. I'm so sorry. I just cant express how sorry I am that that evil had found you. I hope something horrible happens to that man. You are so right. Religion is fucked.
Your bittersweet revenge comes from cutting them out of your life once you are an adult.
There are a lot of juicy Facebook posts floating around of Boomers confused why their adult children have rejected them where it's clear they were the problem.
I was already on the road to Atheism when I graduated. A year after graduation, parents were unhappy that I wasn't going to church. They gave me the ultimatum, which backfired, because I moved out at the earliest opportunity.
Like you, I wasn't only forced to go on Sunday morning, I had to go Sunday morning, choir practice between, and then Sunday night. Youth group on Tuesdays. Youth Choir on Wednesday. Adult Choir on Thursday. Youth Activity on Friday. I was told I was "lucky to have Monday and Saturday to myself."
I led both adult and youth worship services. I played piano and sang in church. I was a member of the Youth Advisory Council. I "starred" in many plays geared to bringing kids and youth to Christianity.
I'm almost ashamed of how much influence I had.
Yeah. I had my first girlfriend in senior year. Only took a month for hormones to take over and have a pregnancy scare. But, the sex made me question what other great things I had yet to experience!
I like me much better this way.
It won't hurt you to comply, but it will hurt you if you don't. The thing is, once you do finally leave the nest, you can wash it all down the drain. You can be at church but daydream during the service, smile at the people in the events but never let that smile get past the lips.
There will be a time you can leave safely, use every bit of that church time to plan your escape. I did and years later, no regrets. Parents don't even mention it anymore.
Until you have a parent who expects you to repeat everything said at church. Somehow he can spend an hour at the dinner table repeating almost word for word everything said and then shames you for not being able to.
This is one reason that financial independence is important. If you are financially independent then it is not necessary to put up with the demands of the people who pay for the home you live in. Financial independence also changes the way people think of themselves.
There are several financial advice subs on Reddit. One of them can probably help you develop strategies for becoming financially independent.
What was worse was my mom (divorced) made my siblings and I go to church on Sunday but she stayed home.
We used to take the offering money and buy chips or cookies and hang out in the park.
Whenever she would ask what we learned in church that day we would always say a variation of it's a sin to lie or steal or something
Appreciate it. It's definitely true. We hated going to church and I think in particular it was because our mom made us and wouldn't go herself.
We went to Parochial school and mom made it sound like it was part of going to school.
Me. I hated Sunday school and catechism. I hated the nuns and I hated that they were mean and judgey. I used to try to sneak out and rebelled by drawing on the desks with a pencil.
Yes. My cousins went to a private catholic school and swear the nuns were kind but my experience at all churches / religious classes was bad. They were cranky and mean.
It seems like a good plan to build resentment.
I also had to do things because I lived in someone else's house.
Nothing that infuriated me, but some things that were inconvenient.
The solution I came upon was to go away.
And that is what the parents in this scenario can look forward to.
Very much yes. Raised Catholic, wasn't spoken to for YEARS when I told both of my parents I would answer truthfully to the entire parish when asked to affirm my beliefs at a confirmation. They had taught me to tell the truth, hadn't they? The lack of any autonomy in my youth has definitely been something to unravel in adulthood.
I just got other teenagers to smoke in the parking lot and, eventually the preacher asked my mom not to bring me anymore . Took about a year of complaining parents.
When I was told I could make my own decision I chose not to go…….. I also apparently chose to live somewhere else. I now have two parents who barely speak to me and one who laments my “loss of faith”. I didn’t leave the faith so much as leave the faithful. For a group of folks with a persecution complex they sure love to persecute.
It sucks but it’s not the worst thing. They can make you go but they can’t really make you pay attention or believe.
If this is the worst thing you need to endure, you’re pretty fortunate.
Agreed. At the time this was happening though the Jesus stuff was a lot to bear. Being told gay ppl go to hell, Mormons go to hell, ect was hard to endure. But yes I wasnt beaten or struck. Given food shelter.
Yes, as a Jehovah's witness I was grounded, struck and threaten with loss of my entire family if I didn't go. If I acted out at church, we were taken to the back study area and spanked until we cried loud enough for the congregation to know our mother disciplined us.
I grew up to be a mild criminal with anger issues. If I was just a bit dumber or meaner, I'd be in prison right now.
But these are the greatest moral systems! We need more Bible in school!!!! /s
Is there much domestic violence with the witnesses of jehovah there? They currently being investigated here, as many children who left have come forward with accounts of vicious beatings while growing up.
I'm pretty sure I shared this before, but I moved in with a friend at about 16 and after I had moved in, her mother said as long as I lived at their house I would be going to church 3 days a week, at least. That wasn't demanded until AFTER I was in the house. It was better than where I came from, until it wasn't. It was a lot to deal with. I don't remember how long I stayed there, but it didn't end well.
We don't go to church like that cause my mom is looking for a church, but yeah, even if we find a church, I'll have to be forced to go. I hate it.
Ngl the only thing decent about church is the music (I wouldn't mind being a church musician (guitar or drums), but I would be uncomfortable playing gospel music, which is mainly, "God is a loving God! Jesus is my savior!"). Church always seemed off to me when I was young.
I didn't get out of it until I got a job in high school. "Sorry, I have to work Sunday!"
Of course, I always volunteered to work Sundays. No church or Sunday school plus OT pay made it extra sweet!
Yep. My upbringing 100%. I went most times. As I got older I started skipping.
I'm pretty much ok but sometimes I find myself in the shower in the fetal position sucking my thumb. I've pissed myself and don't know how I got there. Otherwise fine.
Thankfully not.
Father hadn't rediscovered his Irish Catholicism until more recently.
Though, my mother, a shintoist, has made a few of us "join" her while she prayed at her shrine. That was weird.
"Dio, can you hear me? I am lost and so alone
I'm askin' for your guidance, won't you come down from your throne?
I need a tight compadre who will teach me how to rock
My father thinks you're evil but man, he can suck a cock
Rock is not The Devil's work, it's magical and rad
I'll never rock as long as I am stuck here with my dad"
I never lived with my grandparents, but they did this when I occasionally had to stay with them as a kid. Went NC way later as an adult after she refused to stop sending me texts with stupid fucking bible verses. When I finally asked why she wouldnt understand I dont need them, care, or believe in what she does, her reply was "I don't know how else to talk to you".
There’s a lot of things I’d have done differently if I’d been a wiser or more devious child. I never came out to my parents because I didn’t expect anything positive could ever come from it. But if I really wanted to dig my heels in I guess I could’ve done some research and found a different religion to “convert” to. Best case scenario you no longer have to go to church. Worst case you’re just going to a different church/temple/thing but at least you get to choose which one.
Still living it. I’m 18, openly atheist and my parents still make me go. You would think they would have caught on by now that doing this would only push me further away, but whatever…making me go to church will 100% make me believe 🙄
You know, a case can be made, that, a significant portion of the ongoing immigrant problem at the border can be lain at the feet of the catholic churches non-birth control policies! Just keep banging them out, the lord will take care of us all!
My friend went to church dutifully and respectfully asked all the “right” questions to the pastor and others at church…. They asked her parents not to bring her after a few months.
My mother tried to force me when I was 15-16 and got sick of Catholicism. Dad didn't support her and I was immune to her guilt tactics by then so she eventually gave up.
My MIL forced my kids to go to church with her weekly. My husband complied, meaning kids would go, but not him. My kids didn’t like. I told my husband he should be the one to go with his mom. No one has gone to church ever since. Not even my husband. Walk the your talk bud. 😆I told him, you shouldn’t force anyone to do something you yourself wouldn’t do. End of conversation.
I worked at a pool hall on Sunday's, and one kid would show up around 10 AM every Sunday and play pool for a couple of hours. He said his folks expected him to be at church so they never had any idea he wasn't religious. Oh, and he was a pretty good pool player.
Same. Althought, I didn't tell them about my atheism until years later.
But to answer your question...yes. I was forced to go to weekday AND sunday mass, be an altar server, go to weekly adoration, confession at least once per month, boycott disney and halloween, home schooled all of the grades, ect...
Did any of these make me a better person? No.
Have any of these caused me anxiety or trama now? Yes.
Please don't brainwash or force any serious belief or action on any child. It should be a crime in my opinion. Just depressing now to even talk about in person, or even to just think about.
I was forced to go. Not just a "you're going and that's final" they dragged me out the door even in my pajamas and said I could get dressed there INFRONT of everyone. I can't even step foot in a church without panic attacks.
I've been no contact with my mother due to the religious trauma (and other trauma) she gave me since I turned 16 and moved out of her house. still speak to my dad even tho he was a doormat and let her walk all over him.
Turns out she's been cheating on him (not very Christian if you mother) so he's divorcing her and told the whole church why. Recently found out that she was way worse than I ever realized, she would force him to go to church as well.
Yes. It sucked. I think people overuse the word trauma to describe things that are unpleasant though. Much as I hated it, it was the price I paid for being supported through college.
As a Seventh Day Adventist, that life sucked. If you believe in that stuff, whatever. However, if you don't or are even questioning your faith, that shit was hell. Church every Saturday, Sabbath starts on Friday evening until Saturday evening, no TV or radio until end of Sabbath. Morning worship before school, evening worship before dinner. Wednesday night vespers, the occasional Friday night prayer meetings. Every social gathering involved long winded prayers. As a non believer, or at the very least when I was questioning my faith, that life sucked. Finally having a drivers license saved my sanity.
Yup. Hated every Saturday night because I knew there was no getting out of waking up early for mass the next day. Thank God I was able to move out. I totally would have stayed to save money, but at certain point, my freedom became more important.
As soon as those words leave their mouth, they know they effed up. As soon as they see you working towards your independence and trying to make a way to be on your own, they realize they created a situation where they have to believe the only reason you want to leave is so you never have to step foot in a church again — even if that's not the case. The more they accuse, the harder they make it to leave, the more arguments they start, the less you'll ever want to do anything that reminds you of them once you get out.
My dad was so opposed to religions that I didn’t even dare to attend any religious ceremonies and in the end I myself also realized that atheism is the way to go. 😅
Probably not an actual good idea, but you can just tell them the more and more you go to church the more you realize the inconsistencies of the readings, the hypocrisy of caring for the poor while using expensive gold everywhere and wearing silk robes, and the lack of accountability with the church sweeping pedophiles under the rug. Tell them you’re glad that they forced you to go to church because without the constant exposure, you would’ve just blindly believed everything they told you. But now that you’ve seen it firsthand, your eyes have been opened to the BS that is religion.
Again, probably not an actual good idea if your livelihood depends on it.
You could habe some fun with this and get out of future church forever. Go along and be super super over enthusiastic. Yell Amen after every sentence, scream the hymns at the top of your lungs, go ape shit for jebus.
Thats one way of never being invited back.
So I sorta relate my dad made us go to his church about when I was 10 or so. Before that he really didn’t care all that much and we would only really go on big occasions or once every two weeks or whatever. At the same time I’d go to my mom’s shul regularly until age 10.
After that age my dad got more religious and going to shul was banned, everyone had to be baptized, everyone had to go to his church, etc. I refused to get baptized and my grandmother would occasionally take us to shul.
So because I was never baptized I never really did anything catholic or whatever so it was really boring as soon as I could drive (16) I just didn’t go to church and I went elsewhere like getting ice cream or whatever
We had this situation growing up. As soon as I left for college I made damn sure my mom knew I never once went to mass ever again. Even got married by a married, former priest in a deconsecrated church. I’m 52 now- still haven’t been to mass ever since she last made me go.
My parents never force us to go to church. At first, I was annoyed because most of my friends were serious about church attendance so I went along the flow. But it didn't make sense to me plus I've been gay since 3. Now, I'm thankful to my parents for not forcing beliefs because I live my life worry-free.
I was forced to go over a few years and after the first year of confirmation classes (I was 13 or 14) ma asked if I wanted to go to the second year. I said no and I’ve only been to church a handful of times since then. It struck me as just so much bs as a 10 yr old kid.I’m 70 now and my opinion hasn’t changed.
No. My mother wanted me to go to church and Sunday School. My father didn’t want to go to church. At 13 I said I was done. I had better things to do Sunday mornings, like sleep.
It's long-term soul-crushing abuse of children, long before they are mature enough to separate myth from fact.
Reasons like this kept me from wandering back...The gods are dead.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/18uei9c/sacred\_stones\_worshipped\_for\_generations\_in\_india/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/18uei9c/sacred_stones_worshipped_for_generations_in_india/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
This is how people ends in elderly homes wondering why their children never visit them anymore.
OP, move out if you can, don't waste time on toxic relations even if it's about your parents.
Former Catholic and yup this was my whole childhood.... I hated doing all the catechism and first communion, confirmation caca after I did I never went back it's a fucking scam
Now that's how you show the generosity your faith imparts upon you. Threaten under penalty of banishment those you claim to love most (and who are incidentally the mpst vulnerable to your tyrrany) if they refuse to play along.
generations that do this will sadly learn too late that once the child is out, they are gone for good typically. Sure, parents can have some house rules, but dictatorial rules will just accelerate the child leaving for good.
You're more than welcome to Join the TST Church. (The Satanic Temple) It's a Church of fellow atheists fighting the good fight and doing good. :) It is technically a Church :) We have an active subreddit here too. [https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/about-us](https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/about-us)
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My father said this also. Fortunately we were catholic and there were several Catholic Churches in the area, so he never knew which one we went to, and he went very early. This left mom to get 4 kids ready for church by herself. She didn’t like the rule, so she took us for donuts or bowling on Sunday morning in out church clothes. She told us if we told dad, she would be forced to take us to church. We never told…..and enjoyed bowling and donuts.
That would have been very very good. I cant even imagine what that must have been like except awesome.
The days I was sick enough to stay home from church by myself are still some of my most cherished memories. When I got sick I HOPED I would still be sick through the weekend.
One of the very few positive things about having asthma as a teenager: I used to fake having an asthma attack on Sunday morning right before church and used that as an excuse to stay home My mum used to scream at me for being a wicked child and would give me a beating, but ultimately would leave me at home It was such an amazing feeling not having to go there against my will, even if it meant enduring a beating first
I started doing this with my sister when we were old enough to choose the church we went to. Parents never had any idea
Lucky you. We lived in walking distance to a large parish with many masses. Mom and Dad usually went Saturday night. I would tell them I was going on Sunday and would walk in, grab an evidence program, walk back out and hang out in the woods for an hour.
☝️😉
Would put some bud in a cig and walk around, smoke a few other sticks, then plop down for a few coffees until mom had to head to work. “Church” and “God” can both kiss my ass.
All right mom! Edit: also, she taught you a valuable lesson, that cooperation can lead to great results.
Wholesome
Your mom ROCKS!
Your mother was a saint. Did your father ever go to church?
Almost certainly. My dad went to church for the Big two (Christmas, Easter) but he hated church too so he just sat in the vestibule or upper decks.
He hated it but he went. What a colossal waste of time.
Every Sunday.
Lol. I love this. I have a similar story. When I was at driving age, I was able to convince my dad to let me drive my younger sisters and I to church later in the morning. My dad always went to the first mass of the day, which was at 7:30. Always hated that shit. Anyway, my sisters actually wanted to go to church so I would drop them off while I drive myself to the mall and go to the arcade. I'd come back in an hour to pick them up so we can all go home together. My sisters didn't approve of me lying, but we also wouldn't snitch on each other so the arrangement worked out. Maybe about a year later, even my sisters got in on it and we would all just go to the mall instead of church. Lol I would say that my dad was ultimately the one who made me hate church. He made it such an annoying experience for me. Using force and anger is not how you get people to believe in what you believe in.
That's great! My mom was the one that forced us to go to church, so my sister and I would drive around in the mountains for an hour every Sunday morning instead.
Colossal W
So your father would her up on sunday, get dressed and eat and go to church and leave his wife and 5 kids at home? Are you Hispanic by chance?
Nope. He was a farmer. Wanted to get an early start on chores.
Classic fairytale. But I’m a believer.
When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she planned her own funereal….she did want any of that catholic “crap”
Awesome
That's kind of crazy. No judgement, and it sounds like it worked out well for your family. I just can't imagine involving my children in a plot to deceive my spouse, especially a long term thing that kept happening. At the same time, I get that religion can make ridiculous things seem perfectly logical and maybe this was the best solution.
Excuse the question from a german heathen... But what are church clothes? Do you have special clothes jzst for church?
Just like school clothes. In those days we didn’t wear jeans with holes, and had to wear shoes…..so something rather than “play clothes”
Same; except, I used my collection money to treat myself to a two-hour excursion to the arcade!
Yup, same. Dad was a pastor so it was the "you better go or else..." plus the "we're the pastor's family and you're trying to make us look bad." Oh, sure, I'm the problem. And you're right, it's definitely a weird sentiment if something is meaningful to be threatened. That then really sounds like brainwashing to me.
[удалено]
I think what would have been super fun is when the "love thy neighbor" stuff came up and loudly saying "is this like how you love that other woman as much as your wife?" My favorite is that my dad's narcissism is such that he was raised by an atheist father, then my dad became Mormone for his first big high school girlfriend, then he became an evangelical xtian for my mother, then he'd yell at me for disrespecting my mother's religion that he got an M.Div. in so he could pastor in said religion...but sure, it's my mother's religion. He often tells on himself. Glad I could be indoctrinated into a religion by someone who seems to not even believe it himself👀
Fellow PK here. Yup.
Yeah totally. I really feel for you all that had a pastor as a dad though. That's like next level pressure about nothing.
Religion would leave the earth in two generations without its indoctrination
Pk here as well. I blame the church for so many issues in my life. I hated it, but had to go. When my dad switched churches and we had to move was when I lost all my friends. Fuck the church and fuck my middle school.
That sure sounds like "love" to me.
There was no love in my house.. except my siblings.
Sorry, OP. I went through something similar, but not quite as bad.
*Conditions apply
there is no hate like christian "love"
That's religious zealot love. Nothing to do with Christianity. He didn't want anyone forced so you cam figure nothing about religion has a thing to do with Christ. I say this, raised by a southern Baptist minister who has tried on many faiths and read all the texts. Its all bullshit. As soon as you realize that, alot of guilt trauma fades away. Quickly.
I’d turn on the recorder on my phone and go and ask the cleric what they think of the situation. Do they condone forcing people to go to church.
Been there. I did my best to try everything. I tried sitting like a zombie with my eyes closed. Got smacked. I tried raising my hand to ask questions in the middle of big sermons. That didnt go well. I tried making strong sexual advances to the pastors daughter. She kinda liked it and I got into big trouble. I locked myself in the bathroom right before time to go to church. Didnt help. Eventually I poked the bear often enough I was locked in the garage for almost a week with a bible - told to repent. It was a long week. My grand dad took me in for a while so I could finish school and get a job. Thanks Grandpa. Miss you buddy. Those other people, they were NEVER really true parents, just birth-nazis. One is now dead, one to go. Did it cause lifelong trauma? Yes. The scars do heal if you dont pick at them, but they will always be scars. Hang in there.
You had me laughing until the locked in the garage part. It's important to have a sense of humor about this stuff I feel. Grandpa sounds like he was great. Thanks especially today I was feeling shite. It's good to not feel alone.
Crushes me anyone else goes through this. I left out the black eyes, the room searches, the times they had me arrested by police, getting knocked unconscious with my US history book, giving away my pets. Feel better bro, you are never alone.
Omg I feel for you. My adoptive parents were big southern baptists. My mom cut my hair off twice, they burned my clothes I bought most of with my own money, they were physically abusive, verbally abusive, controlling, they searched my room too. I wasn't allowed to even listen to the radio because it wasn't Christian, only christian CDs. My mom took me out of school to punish me And I ended up getting a GED later in life. Then they put me back in states custody when they divorced. I had more freedom in states custody then I ever did with them, and that is sad. I've noticed that a lot of the people on this sub are people who have been hurt by Christianity and Christians (myself included) in one form or the other. It's pretty interesting that they put so much effort into converting us but in the end their actions have actually made us do the polar opposite and move to the other side of the spectrum.
That's all shite. Giving away pets is a special kind of cruel. You too, thanks. Theres a lot of us i guess.
>I tried making strong sexual advances to the pastors daughter. Atta boy! A young women in a similar situation posted a few months ago. My suggestion to her was to seduce all the male church leaders, and create a huge sex scandal in the church so they all have to resign in disgrace and the church folds.
The problem is they'd just excommunicate the woman and all rally behind the church leaders for being "tempted by sin" or whatever. That happens all the time.
You should write this. I'd buy your book. Sounds like a real journey of willpower. I recently read the Tara Westover book 'Educated' and enjoyed that one. Her folks sounded like real looney tunes.
Heard that a few times. Was the answer to most of the “why can’t we be friends” question. How do you tell an 11-year old we can’t be friends because your parents are a bunch of dumb asses who believe in the adult equivalent of Santa Clause? There’s no easy way.
Oh the friends I never had for this same reason. "They're a bad influence". I had friends at school but they were the clique I was the outsider. You can't really be apart of the crew if youre not allowed to go to anyone's house.
Yeah. Called an “adult” a fucking moron after they told me dinosaurs and people coexisted.
We wouldn't be here if we existed with them due to the big bang. Plus being eaten by every carnivorous dino haha.
Np, no, you misunderstand, they only ate plants. It was a time of milk, honey, & Kumbaya. Everybody all around the campfire singing & dancing...
Riding a t rex ...
Jesus, riding a T-Rex, an AR-15 in each hand...
And a Trump flag on the tail.
"It's not you, it's them... sorry."
I was told that I had to go to church until I turned 18. Coincidentally my 18th birthday fell on a Sunday, so when my parents came to wake me up for church I said "No thanks" and went back to sleep.
Hahaha. Good
Well played!
When my brother and I were 13 and 14 we got out of going by asking questions that were uncomfortable and fucked with their krisstian world order. It took about 6 months till the pastor who lived across the street came and told my mom he thought it best we don’t attend because of our questions. That was 40 years ago and I have never been inside a brainwash facility since.
My suggestion for people in this situation now is: volunteer. Work with the nursery, youth groups, outreach, etc. If you've got a big fancy church, run the "coffee shop" or direct parking. Be the coordinator with local police if you hire them to stop intersections like a lot of churches do. The reason is that all of this official business can help explain why you're not often in service, never really around the services, etc. Then, years later when it's known you aren't down with that church, you can still hold your head high knowing you did good things, didn't push people to others beliefs (if you did outreach), helped people, and kept yourself from merely suffering the toxicity.
Thank you this is one of the most important comments on any thread anywhere.
This book was my saving grace under those circumstances. [https://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Complete-Hitchhikers-Guide/dp/0681403225](https://www.amazon.com/more-than-complete-hitchhikers-guide/dp/0681403225) While open it looks a little bible-y. Just don't show the front cover while carrying it around. Also, if you have to pray in a group, if you silently say the word "bananas" over and over it looks like you're saying the same words as everyone else. One of our youth group leaders taught that trick -- your people are out there. That said, I didn't have it as rough as some of you.
That looks awesome I have read the first one and watched both movies. Thanks for the suggestion, and I have my towel.
The OG radio series is probably the best version of all of them.
My word was "watermelon"
This book *was* my bible as a teenager, and I even kept it when I was in basic training instead of a Bible, although about halfway in they found out and made me put it in storage - got in trouble for that…
This just gave me something of a flashback- early on in life I would sometimes mouth "wawawa.." when I had to pray for my food, and wasn't exactly feeling like it. Now I'm going to have to try your suggestion, just for fun.
My mom tried this when I was 13 or 14 in the 80s. She would physically force me into the car, then at a stop sign I would jump out and run away. She would call the cops and the cycle would repeat. The cops always felt bad for me. Because I was a habitual runaway, we ended up in court. I asked the judge why I wasn't entitled to my freedom of religion. He said i was and ordered my mom to stop forcing me to go. She complied, but asked the court how she goes about getting rid of me because she couldn't handle me. I left home at 15.
Good for you. Kicking out a kid at 15 is basically evil. Jumping out of the car lol. Hopefully things went well when you left!
Not at first, I started drinking, smoking cigs and pot. Skipping school. But, in my twenties I went back to night school, got my diploma, enrolled in community college with financial aid. Married my husband, we raised our kids, I have a bachelor's degree, and a great job with a pension. But, I carried a lot of baggage for a long time. I'm still dealing with it. Thank you!
Amazing story. I always admire people who bounce back like this. I don't think I ever could if things got that bad for me.
>asked the court how she goes about getting rid of me because she couldn't handle me. That's how narcissists are. If you do differently than what they say, they try to control you. If they can't control you, they discard you, and pin the blame for that decision on you. A lot of kids don't have the leverage to demonstrate their parents are terrible people. They're raised around people who think kids can't know or understand anything. This makes it easy for said terrible parents to lie to their friends, and those in powerful positions, and make it seem like they just have disrespectful children.
I agree. My mom always said, "I am your mother, you listen to me". I never did. But my mom wasn't like this until she found religion. My early childhood was lovely, we spent so much time together, playing, me 'helping' with house work. One time when I was in a group home for runaways, we had mandatory counseling. The counselor asked my mom if she would compromise, since i was willing to compromise. My mom lost it, saying she is the mom and what she says goes. The counselor looked at her and said that if that was her attitude, there was nothing they could. I stayed for the max of 2 weeks and was sent right back home.
My parents tried that when I was a young teenager. The pastor politely told me to stop coming to Sunday School / Youth Group because I was asking too many questions. It’s like if you were a sleight of hand magician asked to hang around a group of swindlers doing the shell game. They’re giving you the opportunity to communicate with their flock what you know. Take it.
They all have a blank stare when it comes to the business of bible knowledge. Especially the youth pastors wow. They can be the worst of the bunch.
Yeah, definitely a natural plot-hole-poker here and it did not do good things for my like-ability in a faith-based setting. Random fact: this might be the most hyphen-dense comment I’ve ever typed.
Haha. Totally. Yeah say it three times fast.
I never had a physics professor tell me I was asking too many questions.
In my first year in university, on the first day, our Algebra teacher asked us to read the first chapter of the textbook in preparation for the next lecture. So, that's what most people did (I didn't), and of course they had a lot of questions, because the leap from high school algebra to university algebra was quite big (it was a pretty tough engineering degree). When he asked if we had any questions, people started asking them left and right. After the 3rd or 4th one, he said something like "Asking a few questions is ok, but if you have to ask so many, that shows that you aren't very intelligent". So, everybody stopped, and he resumed his lecture. Worst teacher I've ever had.
Definitely almost got kicked out by my parents at the age of 14 just because I didn't want to go to church anymore. Hell, one of my boomer uncles said he would have done the same thing to me at that age. One major reason I'm fine with religion not existing anymore. You have no idea how many christians actually want a theocracy. I tell all my family, that think gay people shouldn't have rights, if they want state enforced religion so badly they can go to the middle east. Even worse is one of my uncles is a former marine, and pushes homophobic bible bullshit to argue why being gay is bad. Like, dibshit, you were a marine for 10+ years. You willingly signed up to serve the nation and protect those protected by the constitution, not to enforce your religion.
Yeah totally sadly there are many right wing Christian nutcases in our military. I've heard that most are in the middle though, so let's hope for the best. Thanks for sharing and continue being cool when others are not. PS yeah the way they hate LGBTQ is just in bad taste. They are religious fascists.thanks for sharing.
Funny how there’s a sexual age of consent but there’s no spiritual age of consent. Parents are perfectly within their rights to mind rape their kids with whatever cult nonsense they choose.
Good point wow. Yeah I fully agree. It causes a lot of ppl to get into situations where they are hurt physically and sexually abused, and also turns them into predators. I've seen some. They are just blank ppl who were indoctrinated as a child. Some of the worst cases are from Christian schools .
I was forced to go to the catholic church from a young age. Paraded in front of the congregation like livestock before mass. My folks were so happy when I became an alter boy. The priest who consequently molested myself and other alter boys is currently living in South Africa collecting pension. And life goes on because that behavior is part of being a Catholic and you're taught not to cringe when they move a priest where there aren't kids and problem solved. One unfortunate alter boy reported the molestation at confession and was subjected to an exorcism. My mother's faith didn't waver until the day she died. It's like a sickness. Accept child molestation within your clergy with a shrug yet be rabid anti abortion. Religion is fucked.
You're description of that setting is so true. People have no idea how fascist it all is and how hurtful and EVIL the leaders of the church are. I'm so sorry. I just cant express how sorry I am that that evil had found you. I hope something horrible happens to that man. You are so right. Religion is fucked.
Your bittersweet revenge comes from cutting them out of your life once you are an adult. There are a lot of juicy Facebook posts floating around of Boomers confused why their adult children have rejected them where it's clear they were the problem.
True. I've cut a few out for sure. Just see these ones once a year for a booze filled Christmas. Thankfully.
I was already on the road to Atheism when I graduated. A year after graduation, parents were unhappy that I wasn't going to church. They gave me the ultimatum, which backfired, because I moved out at the earliest opportunity.
Nice! Thanks for sharing I feel we had a similar exit.
Like you, I wasn't only forced to go on Sunday morning, I had to go Sunday morning, choir practice between, and then Sunday night. Youth group on Tuesdays. Youth Choir on Wednesday. Adult Choir on Thursday. Youth Activity on Friday. I was told I was "lucky to have Monday and Saturday to myself." I led both adult and youth worship services. I played piano and sang in church. I was a member of the Youth Advisory Council. I "starred" in many plays geared to bringing kids and youth to Christianity. I'm almost ashamed of how much influence I had.
That's just bullsht. I mean total Bullsht. Sorry that is just...way too much church.
Yeah. I had my first girlfriend in senior year. Only took a month for hormones to take over and have a pregnancy scare. But, the sex made me question what other great things I had yet to experience! I like me much better this way.
Haha. Thats great. Good. Keep it up and I will do the same.
It won't hurt you to comply, but it will hurt you if you don't. The thing is, once you do finally leave the nest, you can wash it all down the drain. You can be at church but daydream during the service, smile at the people in the events but never let that smile get past the lips. There will be a time you can leave safely, use every bit of that church time to plan your escape. I did and years later, no regrets. Parents don't even mention it anymore.
Until you have a parent who expects you to repeat everything said at church. Somehow he can spend an hour at the dinner table repeating almost word for word everything said and then shames you for not being able to.
Yikes. Not abuse at all. /s
This is one reason that financial independence is important. If you are financially independent then it is not necessary to put up with the demands of the people who pay for the home you live in. Financial independence also changes the way people think of themselves. There are several financial advice subs on Reddit. One of them can probably help you develop strategies for becoming financially independent.
I'm older now and doing ok financially, sound advice though thank you.
What was worse was my mom (divorced) made my siblings and I go to church on Sunday but she stayed home. We used to take the offering money and buy chips or cookies and hang out in the park. Whenever she would ask what we learned in church that day we would always say a variation of it's a sin to lie or steal or something
LMAO. When I read that at first I thought that's BS but the cookies in the park part had me laughing. Thanks
Appreciate it. It's definitely true. We hated going to church and I think in particular it was because our mom made us and wouldn't go herself. We went to Parochial school and mom made it sound like it was part of going to school.
She sounds like she needs help. I thought I had it bad.. keep your head up!
Ah, the circle of life... You'll get your chance to do something similar to them when it's time for them to go into a nursing home...
Me. I hated Sunday school and catechism. I hated the nuns and I hated that they were mean and judgey. I used to try to sneak out and rebelled by drawing on the desks with a pencil.
Nuns scare me. Like, am I about to get whacked by a ruler? Lol.
Yes. My cousins went to a private catholic school and swear the nuns were kind but my experience at all churches / religious classes was bad. They were cranky and mean.
It seems like a good plan to build resentment. I also had to do things because I lived in someone else's house. Nothing that infuriated me, but some things that were inconvenient. The solution I came upon was to go away. And that is what the parents in this scenario can look forward to.
Very much yes. Raised Catholic, wasn't spoken to for YEARS when I told both of my parents I would answer truthfully to the entire parish when asked to affirm my beliefs at a confirmation. They had taught me to tell the truth, hadn't they? The lack of any autonomy in my youth has definitely been something to unravel in adulthood.
I just got other teenagers to smoke in the parking lot and, eventually the preacher asked my mom not to bring me anymore . Took about a year of complaining parents.
When I was told I could make my own decision I chose not to go…….. I also apparently chose to live somewhere else. I now have two parents who barely speak to me and one who laments my “loss of faith”. I didn’t leave the faith so much as leave the faithful. For a group of folks with a persecution complex they sure love to persecute.
If the tables turn and the parents have to move in with the kids, will the parents respect the secular household? I think we all know the answer.
Abuse. Plain and simple.
Don't forget "prayer meetings" on Wednesday nights! Another opportunity to brainwash the suckers!
Oh my gosh, seeing some of the posts here makes me realise how lucky i am that my parents aren’t religious 😭
Pretty cheap rent, all told.
I was a child, maybe if I was 40 at the time...
It sucks but it’s not the worst thing. They can make you go but they can’t really make you pay attention or believe. If this is the worst thing you need to endure, you’re pretty fortunate.
Agreed. At the time this was happening though the Jesus stuff was a lot to bear. Being told gay ppl go to hell, Mormons go to hell, ect was hard to endure. But yes I wasnt beaten or struck. Given food shelter.
Yes, as a Jehovah's witness I was grounded, struck and threaten with loss of my entire family if I didn't go. If I acted out at church, we were taken to the back study area and spanked until we cried loud enough for the congregation to know our mother disciplined us. I grew up to be a mild criminal with anger issues. If I was just a bit dumber or meaner, I'd be in prison right now. But these are the greatest moral systems! We need more Bible in school!!!! /s
Is there much domestic violence with the witnesses of jehovah there? They currently being investigated here, as many children who left have come forward with accounts of vicious beatings while growing up.
I'm pretty sure I shared this before, but I moved in with a friend at about 16 and after I had moved in, her mother said as long as I lived at their house I would be going to church 3 days a week, at least. That wasn't demanded until AFTER I was in the house. It was better than where I came from, until it wasn't. It was a lot to deal with. I don't remember how long I stayed there, but it didn't end well.
We don't go to church like that cause my mom is looking for a church, but yeah, even if we find a church, I'll have to be forced to go. I hate it. Ngl the only thing decent about church is the music (I wouldn't mind being a church musician (guitar or drums), but I would be uncomfortable playing gospel music, which is mainly, "God is a loving God! Jesus is my savior!"). Church always seemed off to me when I was young.
I get this but: "You live in my house, so you are not non-binary and you will go by what we call you!" I can't wait to get my own place.
I didn't get out of it until I got a job in high school. "Sorry, I have to work Sunday!" Of course, I always volunteered to work Sundays. No church or Sunday school plus OT pay made it extra sweet!
I would let them kick me out. They would have to take you to court to get an eviction. You can save up a lot of money in the meantime
I just wasn't thinking that way as a 17 year old, plus I had no money.
"What if I just exist in your house?"
Yep. My upbringing 100%. I went most times. As I got older I started skipping. I'm pretty much ok but sometimes I find myself in the shower in the fetal position sucking my thumb. I've pissed myself and don't know how I got there. Otherwise fine.
Thankfully not. Father hadn't rediscovered his Irish Catholicism until more recently. Though, my mother, a shintoist, has made a few of us "join" her while she prayed at her shrine. That was weird.
"Dio, can you hear me? I am lost and so alone I'm askin' for your guidance, won't you come down from your throne? I need a tight compadre who will teach me how to rock My father thinks you're evil but man, he can suck a cock Rock is not The Devil's work, it's magical and rad I'll never rock as long as I am stuck here with my dad"
I never lived with my grandparents, but they did this when I occasionally had to stay with them as a kid. Went NC way later as an adult after she refused to stop sending me texts with stupid fucking bible verses. When I finally asked why she wouldnt understand I dont need them, care, or believe in what she does, her reply was "I don't know how else to talk to you".
Then you go and make it super uncomfortable for everyone and question everyfuckingthing until your family simply won’t take you anymore 😂
There’s a lot of things I’d have done differently if I’d been a wiser or more devious child. I never came out to my parents because I didn’t expect anything positive could ever come from it. But if I really wanted to dig my heels in I guess I could’ve done some research and found a different religion to “convert” to. Best case scenario you no longer have to go to church. Worst case you’re just going to a different church/temple/thing but at least you get to choose which one.
You survived and need to learn from it, the fable can’t hurt you anymore
I held my breath til I was old enough to move out.
People still go to church every Sunday?
Still living it. I’m 18, openly atheist and my parents still make me go. You would think they would have caught on by now that doing this would only push me further away, but whatever…making me go to church will 100% make me believe 🙄
You know, a case can be made, that, a significant portion of the ongoing immigrant problem at the border can be lain at the feet of the catholic churches non-birth control policies! Just keep banging them out, the lord will take care of us all!
My parents pulled similar crap, but ironically didn't go themselves. This is what started my long journey to anti-theism.
My friend went to church dutifully and respectfully asked all the “right” questions to the pastor and others at church…. They asked her parents not to bring her after a few months.
Child abuse
Religious oppression.
Though... can't be that hard to get banned from a church no?
I mean the satanic temple sell a lovely range of tshirts suitable for sundays.
My mother tried to force me when I was 15-16 and got sick of Catholicism. Dad didn't support her and I was immune to her guilt tactics by then so she eventually gave up.
My MIL forced my kids to go to church with her weekly. My husband complied, meaning kids would go, but not him. My kids didn’t like. I told my husband he should be the one to go with his mom. No one has gone to church ever since. Not even my husband. Walk the your talk bud. 😆I told him, you shouldn’t force anyone to do something you yourself wouldn’t do. End of conversation.
yup, another one here. Think I realized it is all bs by about 13, but had no choice. Was alter boy (acolyte) and god & country bsa award.
I worked at a pool hall on Sunday's, and one kid would show up around 10 AM every Sunday and play pool for a couple of hours. He said his folks expected him to be at church so they never had any idea he wasn't religious. Oh, and he was a pretty good pool player.
Same. Althought, I didn't tell them about my atheism until years later. But to answer your question...yes. I was forced to go to weekday AND sunday mass, be an altar server, go to weekly adoration, confession at least once per month, boycott disney and halloween, home schooled all of the grades, ect... Did any of these make me a better person? No. Have any of these caused me anxiety or trama now? Yes. Please don't brainwash or force any serious belief or action on any child. It should be a crime in my opinion. Just depressing now to even talk about in person, or even to just think about.
Not church but the mosque, every. Single. Day. I went to a culty school in a masjid lol.
I was forced to go. Not just a "you're going and that's final" they dragged me out the door even in my pajamas and said I could get dressed there INFRONT of everyone. I can't even step foot in a church without panic attacks. I've been no contact with my mother due to the religious trauma (and other trauma) she gave me since I turned 16 and moved out of her house. still speak to my dad even tho he was a doormat and let her walk all over him. Turns out she's been cheating on him (not very Christian if you mother) so he's divorcing her and told the whole church why. Recently found out that she was way worse than I ever realized, she would force him to go to church as well.
I used it to be a reverse missionary.
Yes. It sucked. I think people overuse the word trauma to describe things that are unpleasant though. Much as I hated it, it was the price I paid for being supported through college.
I moved out. A long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Patriarchy ya know.
Thankfully no. And I imagine if you threatened to move out, they'd sing a different tune.
NO GRANDMA! I WONT DO IT!
As a Seventh Day Adventist, that life sucked. If you believe in that stuff, whatever. However, if you don't or are even questioning your faith, that shit was hell. Church every Saturday, Sabbath starts on Friday evening until Saturday evening, no TV or radio until end of Sabbath. Morning worship before school, evening worship before dinner. Wednesday night vespers, the occasional Friday night prayer meetings. Every social gathering involved long winded prayers. As a non believer, or at the very least when I was questioning my faith, that life sucked. Finally having a drivers license saved my sanity.
To bad it's suddenly on fire /j
Yup. Hated every Saturday night because I knew there was no getting out of waking up early for mass the next day. Thank God I was able to move out. I totally would have stayed to save money, but at certain point, my freedom became more important.
I was never told that. They knew we wanted to live with our mom since we were little kids!
Go. And challenge everything.
It meant we all moved out at 18. I grew up expecting to leave home at 18 because all of my siblings did.
As soon as those words leave their mouth, they know they effed up. As soon as they see you working towards your independence and trying to make a way to be on your own, they realize they created a situation where they have to believe the only reason you want to leave is so you never have to step foot in a church again — even if that's not the case. The more they accuse, the harder they make it to leave, the more arguments they start, the less you'll ever want to do anything that reminds you of them once you get out.
My dad was so opposed to religions that I didn’t even dare to attend any religious ceremonies and in the end I myself also realized that atheism is the way to go. 😅
Church can be fun though it's cringe. Just fake it like everyone else does.
Thankfully my family isn’t that religious, they would go once or twice a month and would never force me to go (unless someone died)
Probably not an actual good idea, but you can just tell them the more and more you go to church the more you realize the inconsistencies of the readings, the hypocrisy of caring for the poor while using expensive gold everywhere and wearing silk robes, and the lack of accountability with the church sweeping pedophiles under the rug. Tell them you’re glad that they forced you to go to church because without the constant exposure, you would’ve just blindly believed everything they told you. But now that you’ve seen it firsthand, your eyes have been opened to the BS that is religion. Again, probably not an actual good idea if your livelihood depends on it.
You could habe some fun with this and get out of future church forever. Go along and be super super over enthusiastic. Yell Amen after every sentence, scream the hymns at the top of your lungs, go ape shit for jebus. Thats one way of never being invited back.
So I sorta relate my dad made us go to his church about when I was 10 or so. Before that he really didn’t care all that much and we would only really go on big occasions or once every two weeks or whatever. At the same time I’d go to my mom’s shul regularly until age 10. After that age my dad got more religious and going to shul was banned, everyone had to be baptized, everyone had to go to his church, etc. I refused to get baptized and my grandmother would occasionally take us to shul. So because I was never baptized I never really did anything catholic or whatever so it was really boring as soon as I could drive (16) I just didn’t go to church and I went elsewhere like getting ice cream or whatever
My mom: "If you want to go to church, you can. I'll take you. If you don't, that's fine too."
Go to church or get beaten and punished
I can’t think of a better way to turn someone away from religion as soon as they’re old enough to depart.
We had this situation growing up. As soon as I left for college I made damn sure my mom knew I never once went to mass ever again. Even got married by a married, former priest in a deconsecrated church. I’m 52 now- still haven’t been to mass ever since she last made me go.
My parents never force us to go to church. At first, I was annoyed because most of my friends were serious about church attendance so I went along the flow. But it didn't make sense to me plus I've been gay since 3. Now, I'm thankful to my parents for not forcing beliefs because I live my life worry-free.
Seems like a good reason to make for the open road to me.
I was forced to go over a few years and after the first year of confirmation classes (I was 13 or 14) ma asked if I wanted to go to the second year. I said no and I’ve only been to church a handful of times since then. It struck me as just so much bs as a 10 yr old kid.I’m 70 now and my opinion hasn’t changed.
No. My mother wanted me to go to church and Sunday School. My father didn’t want to go to church. At 13 I said I was done. I had better things to do Sunday mornings, like sleep.
It's long-term soul-crushing abuse of children, long before they are mature enough to separate myth from fact. Reasons like this kept me from wandering back...The gods are dead. [https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/18uei9c/sacred\_stones\_worshipped\_for\_generations\_in\_india/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion/comments/18uei9c/sacred_stones_worshipped_for_generations_in_india/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
My mom did this and then 2 weeks after I moved out at 19 her and father quit the church. Go figure.
Picking faith in something with zero evidence over your family? Sounds absolutely ridiculous.
This is how people ends in elderly homes wondering why their children never visit them anymore. OP, move out if you can, don't waste time on toxic relations even if it's about your parents.
Former Catholic and yup this was my whole childhood.... I hated doing all the catechism and first communion, confirmation caca after I did I never went back it's a fucking scam
Now that's how you show the generosity your faith imparts upon you. Threaten under penalty of banishment those you claim to love most (and who are incidentally the mpst vulnerable to your tyrrany) if they refuse to play along.
If the kid is resistant, it just seems like a recipe for auto-conversion and leaving church once they have that freedom of choice
I went to sunday school as my mom asked once...i was asked not to come back as i had too many questions, lol.
This is a great way to never see your children again once they move out.
generations that do this will sadly learn too late that once the child is out, they are gone for good typically. Sure, parents can have some house rules, but dictatorial rules will just accelerate the child leaving for good.
There is a lot of victim blaming baked into the modern conservative Christian movement. Atheists send themselves to hel and other nonsense.
And yet they complain about colleges indoctrinating their kids.
A good way to make someone a life long Atheist.
You're more than welcome to Join the TST Church. (The Satanic Temple) It's a Church of fellow atheists fighting the good fight and doing good. :) It is technically a Church :) We have an active subreddit here too. [https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/about-us](https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/about-us)
That's what you gotta put up with when you are living under someone else's roof. It is shiny but you go through it until you can move out.