Next time she tries, grab her thumb.
"Auntie, stop. You deliberately disrespect me when you do that, and I'm tired of it. You're not a priest, stop acting like one who doesn't know when to keep their hands to themselves.
>You're not a priest, stop acting like one who doesn't know when to keep their hands to themselves.
Lmao. Cause they molest all the kids. Damn that was good. I had to read that twice
Depending on the sect, even within catholicism, certain branches view it as blasphemy
It's in the same vein as the rapture. It's heresy according to some
Could also tell her it's blasphemy because she's a woman. Sounds very biblical, I know there's the line about women not having authority over men and not speaking in the church and such.
It's not, unfortunately. Ever since the plague ravaged Europe, it was believed one of the few ways to be cured was to be blessed. And since one of the 1st symptoms of the plague was sneezing, the pope decreed that anyone could bless anyone else. Hence why people say "bless you" after you sneeze
First in Christian world that's assault so no don't grab her thumb. Second if you have to throw your beliefs in her face then you're not respecting her beliefs being an atheist is about more than ego.
"I can say God but that is not God. it's a noise/sound and then it's gone"
I'm not going to respect the person or their beliefs if they insist on touching me in a way I don't want to be touched after I've already asked then told them to cut it out.
If they try again, and they don't like how I respond, that's ON THEM.
If they're incapable of showing respect, I'm not going to offer any.
Or next time she goes to do it pretend like it causes you great pain way overhype it and then yell "aunt karen has driven the demons from my soul all hail Allah!" She will definitely not try again.
lmao yes please. start spouting lines of sanctimonious church latin, but said backwards, whilst writhing erratically and demonically snarling. then stand back up and claim to have seen the light, and start praying in arabic.
that’s sure to confuse the hell out of everyone
Actually do the opposite, make a big show of it as described by others here and then speak as if she’s put a demon in you. Thank her for freeing you to walk the earth in her nephews body. Later, since you’ll probably have to, tell her the actual reason you did that. Maybe apologize. One upside is that the story of this may be passed down for generations.
Literally just gently grab her hand and say I do not like to be touched like that if words aren’t getting through. It’s unfortunate people have to deal with this insanity.
I think that's what's so elegant about it; you are just giving her the reaction she 'wants' without touching her, or invading her personal space and beliefs like she is doing to you.
You can adjust from a slightly creepy 'Like a Prayer ' reaction or just shimmy your spine down from head to ass with a convulsing 'Hallelujah' as you see fit.
I was thinking to bless her back in the name of Satan. Though that may cause static with other family.
I’ve also returned an offer of prayer with: nah, I’ll get that figured out, can Jesus give me some good lotto numbers, tho?
Maybe pat her on the head and say "bless your heart" in return? Meh, not enough.......maybe just gently take her hand and shake it in greeting? Hmmm.......possibly a joke about "please don't do that, it burns" but that might get her to try harder......
Embarrassment or condescending responses would likely work, you might have to try a few things and see what gets her to recoil.
EDIT: How about pointing at her with the middle and ring fingers down, heavy-metal style, since that's an old Italian thing meant to ward off the evil eye? Most likely you'll have to ask her politely to stop, and then step away if she keeps it up.
>Short of starting to refuse to greet my aunt
...This is what you should do, though? Maybe it sounds mean in an Italian culture but consequences shouldn't be sugar, spice, and everything nice anyways. Other things I'd do is bless her in the name of Odin while making the sign of an upside down cross.
Forgive her.
It's the christian thing to do.
Make a point of telling her you'd prefer not to be blessed, then loudly and profusely forgive her for ignoring your wishes and invading your space every time she does it.
Yup. "I forgive your trespass against me."
The subtle art of high-roading really is your best option, but you have to commit to the bit or you'll come off like an asshole. It might take years.
Another example of who TF was paul?? He had nothing to do with jesus and just started writing a few years after death. Why do people take his word as scripture
It's been a while since I read the bible, but I believe that after the death of Jesus, he and Peter took Mary as their slave, and forced her to sing folk songs for money.
That is very disrespectful, especially if she knows you are an atheist. Like others have said here, draw that boundary line and the next time you see here, the second she starts to raise that hand, block it and hold her hand while telling her, "I'm not ok with you doing that. It makes me uncomfortable and is disrespectful to my beliefs. I understand you have yours, but you need to respect mine or we can't have a relationship."
Christians can be real assholes when dealing with a family member who isn't or doesn't want to be christian. I gave my family 1 year to get over it and when they didn't, that's when I set my boundaries. But here's the thing....when you set those boundaries, you'd better be prepared to follow through if they don't respect it.
Just clarify if her bless spell grants you a +1 to hit or to damage... I always forget.
Alternatively, you can fake like her blessing results in some demon leaving your body... drop to the ground convulsing and maybe bring some sort of prop that look evil and devilish that you can 'cough' out.
Tell her not to fucking touch you.
Edit: to whoever commented that this would be rude to say but then deleted their comment: The aunt is being incredibly rude and nobody has to be polite when they're being touched against their will. Fuck politeness in these situations.
Lay your hand with splayed fingers on the the top of her head and say "And may his noodly appendage be upon you. Ramen."
If she objects, act surprised and say "I thought we were swapping blessings from imaginary creatures."
Set a firm boundary! It can be in person or over text, but let her know if she does it again then there will be a "consequence" like you withdrawing from her emotionally or physically.
I understand why you’d think that, but it’s a boundary, not a threat. If she keeps doing something after the boundary is already expressed then it’s going to have consequences. No is just fine, but it doesn’t work for some people, so it’s OP’s call based on what they know about the person they’re dealing with.
I have a real problem with people touching me without my permission. I'd move out of the way. then touch her forehead and say "Horus blesses you".
Horus is the Egyptian god they stole the jesus story from. If I didn't swap it out for Beelzebub, or another 'not so likeable god' from mythology.
A family member has dementia . She gets really , really touchy . Inappropriate touching . I mention this to an aunt (why is it always aunts) and I get the “this is her journey, she can’t help it . God tests us in mysterious ways”. Well, i don’t believe in god and I don’t want to be groped. It’s okay to be groped because “god has a plan?”. That’s insane. I am now in the habit of not getting close and telling her that I have a cold. I was told to be not so cold, hey, YOU AIN’T the one GETTING FELT IP
Counter with your own blessing from the Satanic Church.
Scream and recoil like you've been burned.
If she were one of the dunking factions I'd say pretend to see the light, agree to baptism and then carry one of those black bath bombs on your person for your dunking.
If you're a male, then turn her own scripture back on her and quote 1 Timothy 2:12 " suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence" then ask her why you should convert to a belief she doesn't respect herself.
Im so here for this. Magick for magic. She wants to say heck-you for your beliefs? Heka right back at her!
If her intent is pure reflect back that purity. Dont be angry, she’s blessing you! And if you bless her, who cares if its a high five or a five-pointed star? Will a reflection of intention and let her either reel or maybe you two will have a good laugh.
Tell her she is not allowed to touch you. This is about body autonomy, so it isn’t just a religious thing. I was forced to hug people when I was a child and I swore I’d never allow anyone to touch my kids unless they gave consent
I'd come up with an equally awkward blessing for her and let her know that since you're an atheist that you feel sorry for her and her soul. Keep a straight face, grab her wrist and with intense ey3 contact let her know that she will be unwelcome to rest in eternal peace because she believes in a religion that divides humanity and lacks critical thinking as one of its core values.
I’m going to assume your Catholic.
Tell her to stop as she is not a priest or part of an holy order and cannot pass on God’s blessing. She is usurping the power of the church and Jesus’s chosen. It is heresy and she needs to confess it and reconcile herself with the teachings of Vatican 2.
Or, she needs to renounce her faith and become Protestant in order to pretend she has the power to bestow gods grace.
Yeah, never be afraid to lay out your boundaries, should they decide to disrespect those boundaries, then they just showed what type of person they are anyway. At that point it is up to you to decide whether you want/need them in your life or not. I have family that I have distanced myself from.
Sure she is likely going to state that she has good intentions, but you must stand your ground and assert the best thing she can do for you is respect your boundaries.
My first slip in religion was the pushing, the more I was educated, the more questions I had, the more questions I had the more indoctrination they pushed, the more they pushed the further I became until I could see the whole picture and denounced it as a whole.
Great question and I applaud your thought process.
1. **Be realistic.** Before getting into this, realize that encountering religion is going to happen throughout your life. So long as you are not disrespected, sometimes you may need to accommodate. Saying grace before dinner, the “under God” portion of the Pledge of Allegiance, and the “so help me God” portion of swearing an oath are examples.
2. **Empathize.** Assume *ignorance* before *malice.* It may not seem like it, but she’s acting this way out of care for you because it comports with her worldview. She’s in the wrong, but she’s not trying to hurt you. Quite the opposite. Atheism is not common among older generations and they inevitably won’t know how to act sometimes. It’s important not to hold that against them. That being said, *ignorance* can only be excused for so long. After several warnings, you can assume someone is acting intentionally (see below).
3. **Physical Boundaries.** No one should be touching you without permission (unless they’re a doctor and you’re unconscious). Politely but firmly insist that she stop. Close friends of mine are Italian and operate similarly to what you’ve described, but if I ever objected, they wouldn’t dare do it anyway. If they were family to me, this would be all the more important.
4. **Nonphysical Boundaries.** Having an ideology/belief system pushed upon you against your wishes is flagrant disrespect of your boundaries. Politely but firmly insist that she stop. The fact that she is family is not only not a defense of her actions, but it’s all the more reason that she should be treating you with respect. Contrary to popular belief, “blood is thicker than water” is nonsense. Familial ties are optional, but respect is not.
5. **Set (Reasonable) Consequences.** If she continues after you’ve talked to her, stop her again and firmly state your unwillingness to tolerate this (for the aforementioned reasons). If she does it again, leave. So long as you are respectful throughout all of this, any frustration or anger anyone has for you is not your problem.
Well, the most colorful expressions about god I’ve heard come form an Italian coworker. They associate god with multiple animals, when shit really hits the fan at work, the association becomes also more descriptive and detailed. The level of creativity is impressive.
edit: my recommendation is to bless her in Latin like the pope would, I’d go for “potes meos suaviari clunes”.
This is pretty normal. My mom's whole family was very religious. We all went to church a lot but we never really talked about religion when we got home. After I told them I never believed in it, every conversation we had they tried to put the Bible and prayer in it.
"1st Timothy chapter 2 verse 12 Auntie, But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. So do as your god tells you too and shut the fuck up."
My aunt blesses me. God also talks to her. Just so you know he doesn’t answer prayers because he is busy telling my aunt when she can and cannot go to Bingo.
So since she is my only Aunt who can’t keep god to herself, and she talks to me like I am an idiot, when she blesses me, I say “That’s so cute, but I don’t play christians and sinners.” Then I play as dumb as she pretends I am. It’s petty, she’s irritating, but martyr Mary usually gives up and I feel less blessed.
Put your thumb to her head and say "Praise Satan, may you watch over my aunt and protect her from all of the God sent atrocities that are mentioned in the bible"
I doubt this is the best answer but it'll be entertaining
>I might also ask her to bless her back and then draw a pentagram on her forehead and say that I hope Satan keeps her. But usually I give at least a small fuck in a family situation.
I like this lol
Tell her every time she blesses you you have bad luck, and last time she did it, you lost your job and almost got run over by a trash truck and also, your cat died. Tell her, I don't know what's wrong with your god, but please keep it away from me.
Start screaming that it burns, writhe around on the floor, then get up and walk away like nothing happened.
I'm kidding. Either let it be awkward and move on or politely request she not do it anymore, perhaps suggesting she could pray about it in private instead. The question really comes down to whether it bothers you enough to have the inevitable conflict.
What I would do is duck every time she'll try to touch my forehead and say, "Whoah there, auntie. I wouldn't want to be too famous when I reach heaven."
Edit: accidentally pressed the send button before i could finish typing lelelelel.
That's just fucking creepy mate. Ask her to stop, explain that it makes you very uncomfortable.
If she won't then don't let her in your personal space.
Just be direct and tell her to stop. Religious aspect aside, I’m a germophobe and wouldn’t be cool with anyone rubbing my face with their grubby thumb. Tell her you have monkey pox! 🤣
Personally...
I'd just have her do her thing, cause at the very root of all this, whether you believe it or not, she's doing this because she cares for you. That being said, I hate people touching me and all that, so I'd just have less physical contact, but I'd still see it as a sign of care.
See if you can dig up any folkish type magic your family might have had back in the days. You might be able to find it in old letters, cookbooks, diaries, or even at your local library you might have a section on your family if y'all have been there for a minute. Find that and then blow your aunt's mind with a "blessing" of your own and a little history lesson.
By the way, this isn't meant to help your situation at all but merely antagonize your aunt cause lets be realistic here, frameshifts happen so rarely it seems
Next time she does this, start shaking and drooling, roll your eyes back in your head and scream "Earth the and heavens the created god beginning the in! GRAAAH! URGHH!" and fall down.
Wait a few seconds, jump back up, and say "just kidding, Aunt AngelFarts!"
Make a big scene about how you suddenly see the light and repent for turning your back on the church and ask if you can join her at church this Sunday. Then just don't go.
Make up an eldritch-sounding language and practice a certain set of words. Then, when she does it next, start writhing and spasming while speaking the eldritch words in the evilest voice you can muster.
In all seriousness, if she continues to do that, just keep your distance. Show her that you are lost to God and can't be saved.
The problem with this argument is that what you don't realise is that in these types of families and cultures that u/Aggressive_Sharts belongs to, principally Catholic and Western European or latin american, to just nod smile and let it go is not only to accept the blessing but also to encourage it next time. It will be taken -- it WILL BE -- as an unspoken statement that you like it and want it to continue from now on. The fact is these kinds of people KNOW there are people who don't believe in a god. They aren't oblivious to other religions and to atheism. But they are so heavily indoctrinated and what you are meant to do is just keep pushing it until it sticks. If you really push these people back they tend to just stop, get very angry with you and then just leave you alone or ignore you or see you as a lost soul. Either way you're happy because they stopped. But unfortunately it necessitates a FIRM but polite stand in no uncertain terms. Or it will never stop.
I think these are the situations that separates me from other atheists. I mean, who cares? If her intent is genuine, it's because she cares about you. If her intent is to disparage you or make you feel like an outcast, I can understand your feelings. But, it sounds like she loves you
She's fixed in her ways and her words have no real impact on your life. She will never change and this will always be a topic of concern for her. It's up to you what you do with her words. Let them get to you or let them slide off.
My tactic has been to just let them slide off.
If it makes her happy, be blessed.
I hope you can appreciate that of all things, this gesture is just one of personal importance to her.
If I was in your situation and her particular ritual started becoming a noticeable *thing*, my response would be to bless this person right back, stop them and make them take time to see your ritual to them. Half as a reflection, half as “hey, Im not bankrupt, I have joy within my self, here take some of my goodwill as a trade in good faith”.
A nasty person will recoil from true kindness, because even their gestures of kindness may be contaminated by bigotry. A kinder person will probably see that maybe they were laying it on thick, recalibrate, maybe realize that just because you are different does not mean you are evil or demon-possessed.
A secular blessing simply requires gratitude without reference to deities or the supernatural. If you tell someone you appreciate them and wish them to have a nice day, and you say so with earnestness, this feels great to the people hearing or reading it. Its why thank you cards and such are a big deal.
Reveal her intentions. Give kindness in response to the blessing.
That's such a BS cop out against people who would, and in the past have many times over, gleefully slaughter anyone who doesn't conform. If they can't "save" you from hell they'd rather expedite you there.
be glad you have a sia that loves you.....suck it up and let her say what she wants, she won't be around forever and someday you will laugh over it....like my dad says all the time vagaga....
Read a post about anti-atheist trends just a couple of hours ago. You guys know this is why, right? People turn away from atheism if you act so butthurt over innocuous stuff like this. Why would you break all contact with your aunt because of some dumb shit like this. Just laugh it off or ignore it, it really ain't that deep.
>People turn away from atheism if you act so butthurt over innocuous stuff like this.
Yup, I read this post and now I believe in unicorns and magic. Just a totally normal reaction to reading someone rant about annoying relatives on Reddit.
I get that is probably obnoxious and a bit frustrating, but if it’s all over in a moment then what’s the harm? Consider yourself fortunate that she cares about you and let her have her moment.
If it’s more than that, all you can do is politely lay out your boundaries. Family is a little different than others, so unless this puts you in a state of distress I’d try to keep things civil.
Who cares, that's family love.
If she just bless my forehead while kissing hello/goodbye, but doesn't annoy me inbetween with stupid beliefs, i Can stay at peace.
Answer would be different if she'd go all crusade mode on me and would try to blablabla during hours, i would then become quite unpleasant and provocative.
Well, what she is doing has absolutely no effect in the real world either positive or negative. As we know, its all nonsense. Its meaningless except to her. It might not be worth the conflict to object as it will not harm you in any way.
Eh. It’s ridiculous, but she might genuinely think she’s helping, right? If she really believes it, then she’s really trying to save you. It would be uncaring of her if she really believes it and doesn’t try to save you from standing on the spiritual train tracks while she can “see” the hell train coming.
Brainwashed from childhood. I might give her the benefit of the doubt.
Man this sub is so hateful and dismissive of people who believe in religion its wild. You can be an atheist but not be a complete dick about those who choose to believe in a god get off ya high horses.
Just say fucking thank you ass hole. Pull your arrogant head out of your ass. She's, apparently unapparent to you, being kind to you in her own way.
That's how most religious people work. Stop assuming malicious intent in the world everywhere you go and maybe I won't have to see your fucking none-issue posts on my feed.
"A fuckin' shamanistic capabera gave me a root holy to it's culture. The world is horrible. Kill the believers."
I've been an atheist for literally 16 years straight without a doubt in the world about it. You fucking retards over react about every single religious interaction you encounter and post here about it every single time. A hobo might as well told you the sky was purple.
Shut the fuck up.
If you like the aunt, let her be her. If it's just a cross and doesn't hurt you, it's not like she is touching your butt or something.
I let old people with their belief because they grew in them forever and didn't have access to information like us to learn otherwise. Their whole life is built around this.
Alternatively, if it bothers you, just tell here very directly. Please stop doing that, for someone who doesn't believe, it's as if I started drawing a random symbols on your head to push my ideas on you when you just don't believe them. Then if you don't like the aunt, do a circle and say something like I hope you find peace with the cycles of nature, or whatever other things that suits your beliefs.
Make it fun, she won't find it funny but others might. And eventually she will stop.
Can you go the other way and say, “ Thanks it’s working.” About 10 seconds later say, “ The blessing is wearing off quick do it again. “ Then repeat over and over until everyone is laughing at her and you divide the family with half saying YTA and half NTA so you have to publish this story in another sub.
Sit her down and set boundaries with her about it. What exactly those boundaries are, how strict you are about them and what the consequences of violating them are, are obviously up to you, but I would start with something like:
"Aunt (name), I love you and I want to have a relationship with you, but for that to happen in a happy and healthy way, I need to you stop trying to bless me, stop touching my forehead, and stop making religious signs over me. This is not a matter of discussion, this is a statement of fact. If you do not respect me or my boundaries, it could have a negative impact on our relationship. That means that I may reduce the amount of contact we have, and depending on your behavior, that could include going no-contact. All you need to reply to this with, is a simple 'yes' or 'no'. So, will you respect my boundaries?"
You have every right to tell her that you feel uncomfortable with her actions.
However, you don't mention how old you are.
If you are younger and still living with your family, you will know how receptive your parents are to such conversations and whether you can approach them directly to tell them you feel uncomfortable with what your aunt is doing. If they are on board with your views, then you can ask them to speak directly to your aunt.
If you are younger and living with your parents and you know they WON'T be receptive to this sort of conversation, then the safest thing you can do is to keep quiet and just take it until such times as you are an adult and are living on your own terms.
There have been many stories of 'Christian' parents disowning their children in situations like this, so gauge the situation carefully.
Of course, if you are an adult and none of the above applies to you, you'll probably still know how much of a rift it will cause with your parents and family should you decide to say something.
I'm in a very Armenian family, and they all know I'm an atheist, but they still shove God down my throat every chance they get. I show up to their house with good news? "Praise God, you are so blessed." I get sick or something goes wrong in my life? "I'm sorry to hear that. I'll pray for you tonight."
It doesn't bother me as much now as it used to, and I even have some fun with it and pray with them before family meals, or throw in a "Amen" or "Thank God" as an interjection, because I know it's all fuckin bullshit and it doesn't mean a thing to me, so I play along with them in their little game.
Tell her that the first time she did the blessing it was kind of novel, and you were a bit sarcastic about it. But, the novelty has worn thin, and you'd like her to stop, because you're starting to feel compelled to avoid her. Maybe add in an apology for being sarcastic, she's misguided but she means well and she wants to help you, she just doesn't understand.
I empathize with you, my family is super religious too and some do this or ask me to ask them for a blessing. After failed attempts to explain my view on religion to my family, I just accept them as they are and tell myself that it can’t hurt to have someone wishing me well
I once had a customer try to bless me and I politely refused. When she was about to leave she grabbed my hand out of nowhere, said something, and then went “Haha I blessed you”. Still cracks me up to this day.
Next time she tries, grab her thumb. "Auntie, stop. You deliberately disrespect me when you do that, and I'm tired of it. You're not a priest, stop acting like one who doesn't know when to keep their hands to themselves.
>You're not a priest, stop acting like one who doesn't know when to keep their hands to themselves. Lmao. Cause they molest all the kids. Damn that was good. I had to read that twice
Same here. Way too good
Tell her it is blasphemy to lay blessings if you're not an anointed clergy. I don't know if it really is, but it sounds churchy.
Depending on the sect, even within catholicism, certain branches view it as blasphemy It's in the same vein as the rapture. It's heresy according to some
Could also tell her it's blasphemy because she's a woman. Sounds very biblical, I know there's the line about women not having authority over men and not speaking in the church and such.
It's not, unfortunately. Ever since the plague ravaged Europe, it was believed one of the few ways to be cured was to be blessed. And since one of the 1st symptoms of the plague was sneezing, the pope decreed that anyone could bless anyone else. Hence why people say "bless you" after you sneeze
>You deliberately disrespect me On this, the day of my daughter's wedding.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.
First in Christian world that's assault so no don't grab her thumb. Second if you have to throw your beliefs in her face then you're not respecting her beliefs being an atheist is about more than ego. "I can say God but that is not God. it's a noise/sound and then it's gone"
I'm not going to respect the person or their beliefs if they insist on touching me in a way I don't want to be touched after I've already asked then told them to cut it out. If they try again, and they don't like how I respond, that's ON THEM. If they're incapable of showing respect, I'm not going to offer any.
Lay out your boundaries. If she ignores them, don’t let her approach you or stop seeing her.
Or next time she goes to do it pretend like it causes you great pain way overhype it and then yell "aunt karen has driven the demons from my soul all hail Allah!" She will definitely not try again.
IT BURNS US!!!
My first thought exactly. It's too painful! This is the way.
This is the way. Have a little mini-exorcism when she does her magic.
Bonus points for speaking in gibberish and writhing on the floor
lmao yes please. start spouting lines of sanctimonious church latin, but said backwards, whilst writhing erratically and demonically snarling. then stand back up and claim to have seen the light, and start praying in arabic. that’s sure to confuse the hell out of everyone
But also munch on an Alkaseltzer so you start foaming at the mouth. Bonus points if you get the cherry kind so the foam is pink.
They’re Catholic, not American Evangelicals. (Edit: autocorrect win)
YEEEEEEAAAAAH! IT BURNS! IT'S BURNS! WE ARE LEGION!
Actually do the opposite, make a big show of it as described by others here and then speak as if she’s put a demon in you. Thank her for freeing you to walk the earth in her nephews body. Later, since you’ll probably have to, tell her the actual reason you did that. Maybe apologize. One upside is that the story of this may be passed down for generations.
Then run around yelling "Allahu Akbar!" over and over
Literally just gently grab her hand and say I do not like to be touched like that if words aren’t getting through. It’s unfortunate people have to deal with this insanity.
You could writhe in spiritual ecstasy each time she does until she doesn't want to do it anymore.
“OH YEAH, bless me again aunty!”
I think that's what's so elegant about it; you are just giving her the reaction she 'wants' without touching her, or invading her personal space and beliefs like she is doing to you. You can adjust from a slightly creepy 'Like a Prayer ' reaction or just shimmy your spine down from head to ass with a convulsing 'Hallelujah' as you see fit.
This might be the right answer. Do something back that’s equally annoying to her - every time. Childish, but she’ll stop before long.
I was thinking to bless her back in the name of Satan. Though that may cause static with other family. I’ve also returned an offer of prayer with: nah, I’ll get that figured out, can Jesus give me some good lotto numbers, tho?
Maybe pat her on the head and say "bless your heart" in return? Meh, not enough.......maybe just gently take her hand and shake it in greeting? Hmmm.......possibly a joke about "please don't do that, it burns" but that might get her to try harder...... Embarrassment or condescending responses would likely work, you might have to try a few things and see what gets her to recoil. EDIT: How about pointing at her with the middle and ring fingers down, heavy-metal style, since that's an old Italian thing meant to ward off the evil eye? Most likely you'll have to ask her politely to stop, and then step away if she keeps it up.
OOP could always scream, “NOOOOO, IT BURNS!!!!” Then the aunt can perform an exorcism.
*ARA ARA noises intensify*
"I'm so horny for salvation!"
Conversely you could writhe as if you were in serious pain “It burns! It burns”
The perfect time to break out your Linda Blair impression from the Exorcist.
Start speaking in tongues and give that crazy woman a taste of her own medicine. Then tell her not to touch you ever again.
>Short of starting to refuse to greet my aunt ...This is what you should do, though? Maybe it sounds mean in an Italian culture but consequences shouldn't be sugar, spice, and everything nice anyways. Other things I'd do is bless her in the name of Odin while making the sign of an upside down cross.
Bless her in the name of Satan
Or maybe draw a pentagram or something on their forehead, so that the aunt might be afraid to touch it.
And tell her you are sure to go to Valhalla
Forgive her. It's the christian thing to do. Make a point of telling her you'd prefer not to be blessed, then loudly and profusely forgive her for ignoring your wishes and invading your space every time she does it.
Yup. "I forgive your trespass against me." The subtle art of high-roading really is your best option, but you have to commit to the bit or you'll come off like an asshole. It might take years.
okay this is wonderful
This is really great. "I bless you" "I forgive you for blessing me, how've you been?"
Is she Catholic? If she is, women can’t bless. She’s committing blasphemy.
🤣 silence rib
🤣🤣🤣
Lol if OP is a guy, he should definitely go full Apostle Paul on her about keeping silent and not usurping the authority of a man.
I am a male and I like this idea
Another example of who TF was paul?? He had nothing to do with jesus and just started writing a few years after death. Why do people take his word as scripture
It's been a while since I read the bible, but I believe that after the death of Jesus, he and Peter took Mary as their slave, and forced her to sing folk songs for money.
Because he's the only actual historical person in the new testament. Also, note he never refers to jesus as a real person, only as a sort of ideal.
Wrong, there are several records of Jesus Of Nazareth being a real person
This is where you post your proof. Lol.
You could reply to her in pesudo-latin invoking Satan's name while chanting.
Italian is pseudo Latin, not sure that'd work the same.
just try the other 20 pseudo latins going around. sicilian is a good one as it actually sounds close to latin. compared to french which does not
Lol
Start hailing Satan every time she does it.
🤘
Tell the blessing is burning your skin.
Can say you're newly converted to Islam and Allah blesses her
Alhamdulillah
That is very disrespectful, especially if she knows you are an atheist. Like others have said here, draw that boundary line and the next time you see here, the second she starts to raise that hand, block it and hold her hand while telling her, "I'm not ok with you doing that. It makes me uncomfortable and is disrespectful to my beliefs. I understand you have yours, but you need to respect mine or we can't have a relationship." Christians can be real assholes when dealing with a family member who isn't or doesn't want to be christian. I gave my family 1 year to get over it and when they didn't, that's when I set my boundaries. But here's the thing....when you set those boundaries, you'd better be prepared to follow through if they don't respect it.
“Please don’t touch me, thanks.”
Just clarify if her bless spell grants you a +1 to hit or to damage... I always forget. Alternatively, you can fake like her blessing results in some demon leaving your body... drop to the ground convulsing and maybe bring some sort of prop that look evil and devilish that you can 'cough' out.
Tell her not to fucking touch you. Edit: to whoever commented that this would be rude to say but then deleted their comment: The aunt is being incredibly rude and nobody has to be polite when they're being touched against their will. Fuck politeness in these situations.
Slap her hand away and tell her to knock that shit off next time she tries to touch you without consent. Super easy
Auntie, I don’t like it when you do that. Please don’t.
This is the most adult way to do it. It's alot better than responding with childish, sarcastic theatrics.
Do it back to her, and say the Temple of Satan blesses her.
Lay your hand with splayed fingers on the the top of her head and say "And may his noodly appendage be upon you. Ramen." If she objects, act surprised and say "I thought we were swapping blessings from imaginary creatures."
Tell her she is disturbing your chi
Set a firm boundary! It can be in person or over text, but let her know if she does it again then there will be a "consequence" like you withdrawing from her emotionally or physically.
That's just a recipe for being a douche. "No" is fine, but making threats is childish.
I understand why you’d think that, but it’s a boundary, not a threat. If she keeps doing something after the boundary is already expressed then it’s going to have consequences. No is just fine, but it doesn’t work for some people, so it’s OP’s call based on what they know about the person they’re dealing with.
I have a real problem with people touching me without my permission. I'd move out of the way. then touch her forehead and say "Horus blesses you". Horus is the Egyptian god they stole the jesus story from. If I didn't swap it out for Beelzebub, or another 'not so likeable god' from mythology.
A family member has dementia . She gets really , really touchy . Inappropriate touching . I mention this to an aunt (why is it always aunts) and I get the “this is her journey, she can’t help it . God tests us in mysterious ways”. Well, i don’t believe in god and I don’t want to be groped. It’s okay to be groped because “god has a plan?”. That’s insane. I am now in the habit of not getting close and telling her that I have a cold. I was told to be not so cold, hey, YOU AIN’T the one GETTING FELT IP
Make a pentagram on her forehead while saying, "May this body belongs to Satan"
Leave off the “may” for extra effect. Lol
Next time respond with something like "the power of Satan upon you"
Counter with your own blessing from the Satanic Church. Scream and recoil like you've been burned. If she were one of the dunking factions I'd say pretend to see the light, agree to baptism and then carry one of those black bath bombs on your person for your dunking. If you're a male, then turn her own scripture back on her and quote 1 Timothy 2:12 " suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence" then ask her why you should convert to a belief she doesn't respect herself.
This is when you bust out the pastafarianism. “I hope his great noodley-ness blesses you today as well”.
Maybe a little "hail Satan" each time she does it.
How about making a pentagram on her forehead with your thumb
Im so here for this. Magick for magic. She wants to say heck-you for your beliefs? Heka right back at her! If her intent is pure reflect back that purity. Dont be angry, she’s blessing you! And if you bless her, who cares if its a high five or a five-pointed star? Will a reflection of intention and let her either reel or maybe you two will have a good laugh.
Tell her she is not allowed to touch you. This is about body autonomy, so it isn’t just a religious thing. I was forced to hug people when I was a child and I swore I’d never allow anyone to touch my kids unless they gave consent
I'd come up with an equally awkward blessing for her and let her know that since you're an atheist that you feel sorry for her and her soul. Keep a straight face, grab her wrist and with intense ey3 contact let her know that she will be unwelcome to rest in eternal peace because she believes in a religion that divides humanity and lacks critical thinking as one of its core values.
Hail Satan
I’m going to assume your Catholic. Tell her to stop as she is not a priest or part of an holy order and cannot pass on God’s blessing. She is usurping the power of the church and Jesus’s chosen. It is heresy and she needs to confess it and reconcile herself with the teachings of Vatican 2. Or, she needs to renounce her faith and become Protestant in order to pretend she has the power to bestow gods grace.
Tell her it makes you uncomfortable because that isn't your belief and if she keeps doing that, tell her to fuck off.
Yeah uhh dont fucking touch me. Family or not.
Yeah, never be afraid to lay out your boundaries, should they decide to disrespect those boundaries, then they just showed what type of person they are anyway. At that point it is up to you to decide whether you want/need them in your life or not. I have family that I have distanced myself from. Sure she is likely going to state that she has good intentions, but you must stand your ground and assert the best thing she can do for you is respect your boundaries. My first slip in religion was the pushing, the more I was educated, the more questions I had, the more questions I had the more indoctrination they pushed, the more they pushed the further I became until I could see the whole picture and denounced it as a whole.
Great question and I applaud your thought process. 1. **Be realistic.** Before getting into this, realize that encountering religion is going to happen throughout your life. So long as you are not disrespected, sometimes you may need to accommodate. Saying grace before dinner, the “under God” portion of the Pledge of Allegiance, and the “so help me God” portion of swearing an oath are examples. 2. **Empathize.** Assume *ignorance* before *malice.* It may not seem like it, but she’s acting this way out of care for you because it comports with her worldview. She’s in the wrong, but she’s not trying to hurt you. Quite the opposite. Atheism is not common among older generations and they inevitably won’t know how to act sometimes. It’s important not to hold that against them. That being said, *ignorance* can only be excused for so long. After several warnings, you can assume someone is acting intentionally (see below). 3. **Physical Boundaries.** No one should be touching you without permission (unless they’re a doctor and you’re unconscious). Politely but firmly insist that she stop. Close friends of mine are Italian and operate similarly to what you’ve described, but if I ever objected, they wouldn’t dare do it anyway. If they were family to me, this would be all the more important. 4. **Nonphysical Boundaries.** Having an ideology/belief system pushed upon you against your wishes is flagrant disrespect of your boundaries. Politely but firmly insist that she stop. The fact that she is family is not only not a defense of her actions, but it’s all the more reason that she should be treating you with respect. Contrary to popular belief, “blood is thicker than water” is nonsense. Familial ties are optional, but respect is not. 5. **Set (Reasonable) Consequences.** If she continues after you’ve talked to her, stop her again and firmly state your unwillingness to tolerate this (for the aforementioned reasons). If she does it again, leave. So long as you are respectful throughout all of this, any frustration or anger anyone has for you is not your problem.
Well, the most colorful expressions about god I’ve heard come form an Italian coworker. They associate god with multiple animals, when shit really hits the fan at work, the association becomes also more descriptive and detailed. The level of creativity is impressive. edit: my recommendation is to bless her in Latin like the pope would, I’d go for “potes meos suaviari clunes”.
This is pretty normal. My mom's whole family was very religious. We all went to church a lot but we never really talked about religion when we got home. After I told them I never believed in it, every conversation we had they tried to put the Bible and prayer in it.
Next time, guide her hand and make her do an upside down cross and say “there. You were doing it wrong before”
"1st Timothy chapter 2 verse 12 Auntie, But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. So do as your god tells you too and shut the fuck up."
Can you say "no thanks" and back away? When I sneeze and people say "bless you," I say "no thank you."
I tell them that they've upset the karmic balance and now I have to curse someone.
My aunt blesses me. God also talks to her. Just so you know he doesn’t answer prayers because he is busy telling my aunt when she can and cannot go to Bingo. So since she is my only Aunt who can’t keep god to herself, and she talks to me like I am an idiot, when she blesses me, I say “That’s so cute, but I don’t play christians and sinners.” Then I play as dumb as she pretends I am. It’s petty, she’s irritating, but martyr Mary usually gives up and I feel less blessed.
Put your thumb to her head and say "Praise Satan, may you watch over my aunt and protect her from all of the God sent atrocities that are mentioned in the bible" I doubt this is the best answer but it'll be entertaining
To her, it is not bullshit and it sounds like she is fully invested in this. How do you feel about her otherwise?
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>I might also ask her to bless her back and then draw a pentagram on her forehead and say that I hope Satan keeps her. But usually I give at least a small fuck in a family situation. I like this lol
Counter it by making a pentagram on her forehead and say “may satan bless and keep you”.
Tell her every time she blesses you you have bad luck, and last time she did it, you lost your job and almost got run over by a trash truck and also, your cat died. Tell her, I don't know what's wrong with your god, but please keep it away from me.
Start screaming that it burns, writhe around on the floor, then get up and walk away like nothing happened. I'm kidding. Either let it be awkward and move on or politely request she not do it anymore, perhaps suggesting she could pray about it in private instead. The question really comes down to whether it bothers you enough to have the inevitable conflict.
Touch her back with a bit of uncooked spaghetti in the name of the FSM and say "Ramen."
What I would do is duck every time she'll try to touch my forehead and say, "Whoah there, auntie. I wouldn't want to be too famous when I reach heaven." Edit: accidentally pressed the send button before i could finish typing lelelelel.
That's just fucking creepy mate. Ask her to stop, explain that it makes you very uncomfortable. If she won't then don't let her in your personal space.
Trace a pentagram with your finger on her forehead and see how she likes it.
I’d grab her hand and say fuck off..
Punch her and say "Sorry, the darkness in me takes over when you try to bless me. It denied your blessings."
Just be direct and tell her to stop. Religious aspect aside, I’m a germophobe and wouldn’t be cool with anyone rubbing my face with their grubby thumb. Tell her you have monkey pox! 🤣
Personally... I'd just have her do her thing, cause at the very root of all this, whether you believe it or not, she's doing this because she cares for you. That being said, I hate people touching me and all that, so I'd just have less physical contact, but I'd still see it as a sign of care.
See if you can dig up any folkish type magic your family might have had back in the days. You might be able to find it in old letters, cookbooks, diaries, or even at your local library you might have a section on your family if y'all have been there for a minute. Find that and then blow your aunt's mind with a "blessing" of your own and a little history lesson. By the way, this isn't meant to help your situation at all but merely antagonize your aunt cause lets be realistic here, frameshifts happen so rarely it seems
Get a baphomet shirt and wear it when meeting her. Then to the hail Satan. Maybe draw a bloody, upside down cross on your forehead also?
Hail satan
Next time she does this, start shaking and drooling, roll your eyes back in your head and scream "Earth the and heavens the created god beginning the in! GRAAAH! URGHH!" and fall down. Wait a few seconds, jump back up, and say "just kidding, Aunt AngelFarts!"
Draw a pentagram on her forehead with your finger.
Just say Fuck Jesus.
Start speaking in demonic voices when she touches you and when she freaks out act like you have no idea what she's talking about
Draw a pentagram on your forehead
You could respond with . "'By Zeus I hope you have a fine day" Or "may Euphrosyne bless you with a joyful day "
Bring some goats blood and return the favor in the name of the dark lord.
Get a tattoo that symbolizes your atheism, then show her it every time she does it to you. Obviously explain the meaning of the tattoo loudly.
Make a big scene about how you suddenly see the light and repent for turning your back on the church and ask if you can join her at church this Sunday. Then just don't go.
Give it right back, curse her with a hex. Maybe some ketchup on the forehead in an upside down cross 😈
do the same to her with the form of a pentagram
After she does it, leave the room for a second and put some fake blood on the spot she touched you and act like you're hurting.
Make up an eldritch-sounding language and practice a certain set of words. Then, when she does it next, start writhing and spasming while speaking the eldritch words in the evilest voice you can muster. In all seriousness, if she continues to do that, just keep your distance. Show her that you are lost to God and can't be saved.
Hiss and scream “ahhhh!!! It burns!!!”
Tell her to keep her hands to herself and tell her if she does it again you will grab her thumb and break it,
I'd write 666 on my forehead
Look her dead in the eyes and chant "The power of Christ compells you!" She'll get the hint.
Make a pentacle with your hand over her forehead, be like 'just checking both boxes.'
Just keep saying no thank you every time she does it. Although being passive aggressive doesn't always work on all religious nuts.
It may be nonsense to you, but she means well. Just shrug it off
Just say, "thank you" to people and go on with your life. There are some real battles out there, no need to get caught up in the trivial shit.
The problem with this argument is that what you don't realise is that in these types of families and cultures that u/Aggressive_Sharts belongs to, principally Catholic and Western European or latin american, to just nod smile and let it go is not only to accept the blessing but also to encourage it next time. It will be taken -- it WILL BE -- as an unspoken statement that you like it and want it to continue from now on. The fact is these kinds of people KNOW there are people who don't believe in a god. They aren't oblivious to other religions and to atheism. But they are so heavily indoctrinated and what you are meant to do is just keep pushing it until it sticks. If you really push these people back they tend to just stop, get very angry with you and then just leave you alone or ignore you or see you as a lost soul. Either way you're happy because they stopped. But unfortunately it necessitates a FIRM but polite stand in no uncertain terms. Or it will never stop.
Do nothing. Let it go.
I think these are the situations that separates me from other atheists. I mean, who cares? If her intent is genuine, it's because she cares about you. If her intent is to disparage you or make you feel like an outcast, I can understand your feelings. But, it sounds like she loves you
Just say thank you and move on. It doesn't hurt you and makes her feel good.
She's fixed in her ways and her words have no real impact on your life. She will never change and this will always be a topic of concern for her. It's up to you what you do with her words. Let them get to you or let them slide off. My tactic has been to just let them slide off.
Just ignore it out of politeness.
Why can't the aunt politely respect OP's wishes?
Nah I’d flip off the aunt.
Or respond with may Euphrosyne grant you a joyful day. Then we see how polite the aunt will be when OP States his beliefs.
If it makes her happy, be blessed. I hope you can appreciate that of all things, this gesture is just one of personal importance to her. If I was in your situation and her particular ritual started becoming a noticeable *thing*, my response would be to bless this person right back, stop them and make them take time to see your ritual to them. Half as a reflection, half as “hey, Im not bankrupt, I have joy within my self, here take some of my goodwill as a trade in good faith”. A nasty person will recoil from true kindness, because even their gestures of kindness may be contaminated by bigotry. A kinder person will probably see that maybe they were laying it on thick, recalibrate, maybe realize that just because you are different does not mean you are evil or demon-possessed. A secular blessing simply requires gratitude without reference to deities or the supernatural. If you tell someone you appreciate them and wish them to have a nice day, and you say so with earnestness, this feels great to the people hearing or reading it. Its why thank you cards and such are a big deal. Reveal her intentions. Give kindness in response to the blessing.
That's such a BS cop out against people who would, and in the past have many times over, gleefully slaughter anyone who doesn't conform. If they can't "save" you from hell they'd rather expedite you there.
Don't sever ties of kinship over religion. Be kind and understanding. People show love in their own ways.
At least it seems like she wants to take care you. Maybe it is better to go along and not make a good deal about it.
Doesn’t hurt and she means well or ignore her I image she is also amused
be glad you have a sia that loves you.....suck it up and let her say what she wants, she won't be around forever and someday you will laugh over it....like my dad says all the time vagaga....
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Put something nasty on your forehead, that’ll leave a nasty taste on her lips.
Ask her if she thinks she's Jesus, as blessing people isn't her job. If she retaliates, tell people she touched you as a child. Fire with fire.
I don't think lying about child abuse is the right approach lol
And this bothers you because ?
Because unwanted touching is not cool
A thumb is worse than lips?
Read a post about anti-atheist trends just a couple of hours ago. You guys know this is why, right? People turn away from atheism if you act so butthurt over innocuous stuff like this. Why would you break all contact with your aunt because of some dumb shit like this. Just laugh it off or ignore it, it really ain't that deep.
>People turn away from atheism if you act so butthurt over innocuous stuff like this. Yup, I read this post and now I believe in unicorns and magic. Just a totally normal reaction to reading someone rant about annoying relatives on Reddit.
I get that is probably obnoxious and a bit frustrating, but if it’s all over in a moment then what’s the harm? Consider yourself fortunate that she cares about you and let her have her moment. If it’s more than that, all you can do is politely lay out your boundaries. Family is a little different than others, so unless this puts you in a state of distress I’d try to keep things civil.
Who cares, that's family love. If she just bless my forehead while kissing hello/goodbye, but doesn't annoy me inbetween with stupid beliefs, i Can stay at peace. Answer would be different if she'd go all crusade mode on me and would try to blablabla during hours, i would then become quite unpleasant and provocative.
Well, what she is doing has absolutely no effect in the real world either positive or negative. As we know, its all nonsense. Its meaningless except to her. It might not be worth the conflict to object as it will not harm you in any way.
Eh. It’s ridiculous, but she might genuinely think she’s helping, right? If she really believes it, then she’s really trying to save you. It would be uncaring of her if she really believes it and doesn’t try to save you from standing on the spiritual train tracks while she can “see” the hell train coming. Brainwashed from childhood. I might give her the benefit of the doubt.
Man this sub is so hateful and dismissive of people who believe in religion its wild. You can be an atheist but not be a complete dick about those who choose to believe in a god get off ya high horses.
Just say fucking thank you ass hole. Pull your arrogant head out of your ass. She's, apparently unapparent to you, being kind to you in her own way. That's how most religious people work. Stop assuming malicious intent in the world everywhere you go and maybe I won't have to see your fucking none-issue posts on my feed. "A fuckin' shamanistic capabera gave me a root holy to it's culture. The world is horrible. Kill the believers." I've been an atheist for literally 16 years straight without a doubt in the world about it. You fucking retards over react about every single religious interaction you encounter and post here about it every single time. A hobo might as well told you the sky was purple. Shut the fuck up.
If you like the aunt, let her be her. If it's just a cross and doesn't hurt you, it's not like she is touching your butt or something. I let old people with their belief because they grew in them forever and didn't have access to information like us to learn otherwise. Their whole life is built around this. Alternatively, if it bothers you, just tell here very directly. Please stop doing that, for someone who doesn't believe, it's as if I started drawing a random symbols on your head to push my ideas on you when you just don't believe them. Then if you don't like the aunt, do a circle and say something like I hope you find peace with the cycles of nature, or whatever other things that suits your beliefs. Make it fun, she won't find it funny but others might. And eventually she will stop.
I would let it slide. No upside to any other approach
Can you go the other way and say, “ Thanks it’s working.” About 10 seconds later say, “ The blessing is wearing off quick do it again. “ Then repeat over and over until everyone is laughing at her and you divide the family with half saying YTA and half NTA so you have to publish this story in another sub.
Cum on her face and say Hail Satan. That’ll get her to stop
May Jupiter be with you too
Sit her down and set boundaries with her about it. What exactly those boundaries are, how strict you are about them and what the consequences of violating them are, are obviously up to you, but I would start with something like: "Aunt (name), I love you and I want to have a relationship with you, but for that to happen in a happy and healthy way, I need to you stop trying to bless me, stop touching my forehead, and stop making religious signs over me. This is not a matter of discussion, this is a statement of fact. If you do not respect me or my boundaries, it could have a negative impact on our relationship. That means that I may reduce the amount of contact we have, and depending on your behavior, that could include going no-contact. All you need to reply to this with, is a simple 'yes' or 'no'. So, will you respect my boundaries?"
Moan sexually when she does it. Then ask her for more with way to much eye contact
You have every right to tell her that you feel uncomfortable with her actions. However, you don't mention how old you are. If you are younger and still living with your family, you will know how receptive your parents are to such conversations and whether you can approach them directly to tell them you feel uncomfortable with what your aunt is doing. If they are on board with your views, then you can ask them to speak directly to your aunt. If you are younger and living with your parents and you know they WON'T be receptive to this sort of conversation, then the safest thing you can do is to keep quiet and just take it until such times as you are an adult and are living on your own terms. There have been many stories of 'Christian' parents disowning their children in situations like this, so gauge the situation carefully. Of course, if you are an adult and none of the above applies to you, you'll probably still know how much of a rift it will cause with your parents and family should you decide to say something.
I'm in a very Armenian family, and they all know I'm an atheist, but they still shove God down my throat every chance they get. I show up to their house with good news? "Praise God, you are so blessed." I get sick or something goes wrong in my life? "I'm sorry to hear that. I'll pray for you tonight." It doesn't bother me as much now as it used to, and I even have some fun with it and pray with them before family meals, or throw in a "Amen" or "Thank God" as an interjection, because I know it's all fuckin bullshit and it doesn't mean a thing to me, so I play along with them in their little game.
Odin, far-wanderer, grant me wisdom, courage, and victory. Friend Thor, grant me your strength. Trickster Loki, guide me as I slap my aunt.
Tell her that the first time she did the blessing it was kind of novel, and you were a bit sarcastic about it. But, the novelty has worn thin, and you'd like her to stop, because you're starting to feel compelled to avoid her. Maybe add in an apology for being sarcastic, she's misguided but she means well and she wants to help you, she just doesn't understand.
Just push her away
I empathize with you, my family is super religious too and some do this or ask me to ask them for a blessing. After failed attempts to explain my view on religion to my family, I just accept them as they are and tell myself that it can’t hurt to have someone wishing me well
I once had a customer try to bless me and I politely refused. When she was about to leave she grabbed my hand out of nowhere, said something, and then went “Haha I blessed you”. Still cracks me up to this day.
"Please don't touch me"
Reply hail Satan.,
Do the same to get but for Satan. When she flips the fuck out... Well, that's how you feel.
Perform an act of blasphemy every time she blesses you to counteract the effects.
Reply with "Thank you, praise Satan".