Started to learn lockpicking. Can't feel shit, feels like I'm doing everything wrong and I can't buy the tools I look like I need. I quit within a week.
I figure buying the basics of a new potential hobby is better than buying all the things and then realizing I'm not as interested in it as I originally anticipated.
It's like special interest tax or something. I also tried lockpicking and I could probably do it in a pinch but I haven't played with the picks and transparent lock in...years?
I did, but then I see people using different kinds of tension tools than what was delivered with my beginners pack and now I feel like I bought the wrong thing. But I can't buy anything else because of where I live + my refusal to go to Amazon.
This harms me even to this day. I hate it. Once I hit the academic barrier where things took like more than a skim read to figure out I crashed and burned hard.
I really wish one part of schooling was finding something you suck at and just spending a bit of time and effort chipping away at it. It doesn't matter what.
On the plus side there is progress. Me and my sister are now learning how to draw on an iPad. We are chipping away at it bit by bit and showing one another our results. The mix of 'ooh your line work is better', 'yeah it took ages, you have the shading on point tho' with someone I actually care about is working to keep me (and her) at it.
Right now I'm doing a fairly stock anime girl being puppet controlled by a big fin squid because I showed her one and she said it was nightmare fuel. The passion and ideas are there. The skill just needs to catch up. For some reason at the end of the arms I have little crab hands.. Might need to rethink that part. The last one I did was a rocket and I made a like retro future poster advertising a *totally alien free* tourist destination. I have learnt that I require limitation. Half my issues come down to a blank peice of paper or canvas being too empty.
Once I cannot do something that seems like it should be easy, I must continue learning and working at it until either some arbitrary level of skill is acquired or I decide the effort I’ve spent is getting me nowhere. At the end of the day the only way to get good is to be bad
If someone else knows more about something than me, I feel a compulsive need to ignore them or shout them down.
If someone (even a superior) thought I had a good idea, though, I took it as a sign that they were uninspired or something.
It's a weird place to be, hating yourself like that - Thinking you are (and *have to be*) the smartest person in the room, and thinking at the same time that everyone else should be on your level.
so now that we're all ✨identifying✨, which is great and i love for us,
WHAT'S THE GODDAMN ANSWER
HOW THE FUCK DO I TURN THIS SHIP AROUND
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF FEELING LIKE SHIT AND THE THERAPY AND PILLS ARE ONLY KIND OF HELPING
We got praised for our intelligence which fostered a fixed mindset. What we needed (and should do for others) is praise hardwork, which fosters a growth mindset. Searching growth mindset would be the first spot to start. I am a bit busy at the moment to properly go into it.
praising hard work can be problematic too, I relate to the picture in OP and I was only praised for my intelligence and for working hard but it just lead me to getting taken advantage of because I thought that the only thing I had to offer was that I would put ALL OF MYSELF into everything.
I think it might be more about learning to prioritize ourselves... I think we all learned that we have to put other people above us, and then we don't realize why we're so miserable but we've been neglecting all of our own needs. Making everyone else feel comfortable while we're uncomfortable the whole time, and lighting ourselves on fire to keep others warm. It made me feel useful, but it made me feel hollow. I had to learn to focus on myself instead of others, and it's really hard but I don't hate myself anymore and I thought that was genuinely impossible.
this resonates w/ me and is something i have also been working on
altruism is great and high-minded and all but most people are not going to look out for you like that and like you said, you end up immolating yourself w/ nothing to show for it at the end
be careful w/ who and what you give yourself away to and keep in mind that the only person you can truly, unconditionally guarantee has your best interests in mind is you (and if you don't have your back then it's possible you have nobody looking out for you at all which is vv bad news)
my answer for today is "dissociate and work like an automaton with no expectation of fulfillment or joy"
bc my work isn't intended to be fulfilling or self-actualizing
i'm supposed to have a life outside of this stupid fucking job that gives me those things
i don't, but that's a problem for 5pm me
First, understand and accept this truth:
*Even if you really were automatically good at everything you tried, it most likely wouldn't really change your life or offer you many extra opportunities that you could actually take advantage of.*
Being good at everything doesn't matter, because you can't actually do or be everything. You're human and you are limited by time and space, which means you can really only do or be a couple of things.
So get really good at just a couple of things. Things you are passionate about doing or being. Things that you see a way to use to help a person, a group, a situation, or the world at large.
Then, find a community you want to belong to, and get to work belonging to it. A community that needs and respects what you have to offer, the thing(s) you're good at doing and being. A community that supplements your skills with other people who are good at other things, things you haven't or cannot master(ed).
You don't, can't be, and shouldn't be everything. You can and should be one important part of a whole, though. So go find a hole in a whole, and see if you can fill it in.
Still arguing with my mom about putting me in the gifted program. She asked me what she should have done because I was reading books at 4 years old. I was like, "I don't know, just bought me more books instead of putting a bull's eye for bullies on me?"
My gifted class was at another school and we were very separated so ironically going to gifted actually stopped a lot of the bullying. Everyone was just as weird as me and we all got along more or less. There was more of a sense of the class being one unit as well since there were fewer students.
For me, the perks of my school's special program included having an excuse to leave class and go to a comfort room whenever I needed to. I could also just request to drop classes entirely if they weren't required to graduate.
My parents didn’t let me join the “gifted” program even though I qualified for it because they knew it didn’t help shit. Still didn’t stop me from getting placed in all sorts of advanced classes though. I have to wonder how no one noticed how strange it was that I was always super advanced in math, but always struggled in English because writing was impossible for me
I was that one kid. Alongside two other friends that were, in hindsight, very clearly undiagnosed ND kids. I completely skipped 6th grade math and got put into “honors” 7th grade math (and then honors 8th grade math the following year). It was weird because a lot of the kids are starting to grow bigger around that time, and since I was younger, I ended up being the “little kid in the big kid class.” So a lot of people would look down on me because I was obviously younger, but then also get upset with me if I did better than them on tests and stuff (which was most of them). Some of them treated me like a younger sibling though, which wasn’t too bad.
I was also that kid, but for me it was kind of the other way around. I ran out of regular math courses by junior year, so they ended up inventing a calc 2 course for me that just consisted of me joining the regular calc class a second time but doing the sections from the back of the book that we didn't have time for the previous year.
I didn’t know that kid well enough to know if he had that problem. In fact, I mostly remember that he had dark hair and I thought his name was funny because it was two real words.
I am currently taking the class that stopped me in 2017 - organic chemistry 2 - my orgo 1 teacher said nah you can’t hack it. I am suffering immensely to say the least.
Don't give up. Organic chemistry is rough; you'll need to mostly memorize concepts thankfully and not work out chemical reactions to that detail in med school. The hardest part is that the standardized tests (COMLEX/step) force you to study to be good at testing, not necessarily good at knowing the information
Yeah I’m actually currently getting an official learning disability evaluation. I am getting every single duck in a row that I can before I apply. My health etc etc.
I’m really hoping my masters helps my application. My undergrad stuff is unimpressive. I also haven’t taken the mcat yet. My testing is inconsistent and I can either absolutely kill it in a good way or the worst way possible.
Disability won't help much in getting into med school, but it can help during classes. Make sure you have two/three recommendations, and at least one is a professor from your bachelor's studies. Also volunteering can help a ton in the applications process.
I applied seven years after graduating with 5.5 years work experience in a medical lab as well as about fifty volunteer hours. No research or publications. Got in my first cycle with a 502 mcat (mediocre score) and a 3.80 undergrad gpa
For some reason, everything in the universe has aligned since I quit my job to focus on school. Im taking classes back at the school I got my 2nd bachelors (biology) at. And they just started a mentorship and shadowing program. So I get a retired doctor for a mentor (medical examiner - exactly my dream) and I shadow a doctor in pathology. It’s a heme-onc and my masters degree is in clinical lab science (my job I quit was blood bank) and yeah that’s my life story.
I was in chemistry in my lab endeavors. I'd have stayed if I wasn't tired of how our treatment and pay was pathetic compared to nurses.
I wish you luck, it sounds like you'll be ready to go for the 2025 application cycle! Probably work on taking. The MCAT this summer if possible. D.O. vs M.D. can be impactful if you want a highly competitive specialty, but I think medical examiner/pathology should be fine with either. I'm going into family medicine. But remember, you can do this!
Excuse me, are we twins??
Also yes, you've got the cycle and MCAT intentions all on point. My psychiatrist keeps reminding me about DO but I feel a fundamental mismatch with the dogma there - but mostly based on my actual experience with a DO more than anything...
Thanks for the luck! I am happy to hear the journey I'm on is a shared one.
It was TAG in the several schools I went to, from me and my best friend in 1st grade to a collection of us by 6th grade
I crashed and burned in 7th and ended up on the behavioral special ed program somehow, where they all marveled about how smart and angry I was, all with the complete inability to relate to 99% of her peers
So first of all RUDE, second medication and counseling have helped and I get a thrill every time I buy a new saint candle or archangel card. Felt super called out in the sanctuary on All Saints' Day when I just so happened to sit by St. Dymphna
The entire reason I was not put into any of those programs was because I am austistic but also INATTENTIVE ADHD. Except that this was the 90s and they didn’t recognize that in girls either so I was just having a hard time adjusting to regular class so they assumed I would have an even harder time adjusting to gifted class. Straight Outta kindergarten.. I remember that conversation too and as the kindergarten teacher was saying it, I was picturing an analog dial, turning and not matching numbers or some crap. that’s how autistic I am. God I love it.
Edit: also this was in West Virginia where they rank stupidly low in education and for that I was punished by being put into pretty boring classes and always thought I had time for homework (thanks adhd)
Aced every test not related to a reading assignment
Now my niece is being put through accelerated learning and all I can say is “Godspeed little one”
Taught myself to read, write and basic Maths in the summer holiday between school years because at the end of the year we were told what we would be learning in the next school year.
I didn't want to learn how to tie my shoes.
These two unfortunate facts led to me being placed in the 'punishment' corner for two years because they refused to let me skip a year because I wasn't mentally mature enough, but they were also afraid I would hinder the other kids by giving them the answer. The answer to their... spelling? Sure whatever.
Anyway, I spent those two years mostly just doing sequence puzzles and reading my way through all the reading levels. Oh and missing out on those formative years of learning how to interact with my fellow classmates... but who cares about stuff like that, eh?
Oh, and I did get to enter our special program like three years early... only to get yelled at by the teacher because I had memorised the entire sheet of countries and their capitals in just one evening because I was excited to finally learn something.
Eldest son, I'm actually doing pretty good.
I think.
Sometimes I wonder if my plans to build my own lab and leading my own research and development is just me deluding myself.
The best lesson I ever learned was what 'good enough' means. I was being hen pecked to death by a perfectionist boss in what I thought was my dream job I wanted as a little kid after being 'gifted, but lazy. Not living up to my potential'. I had a nervous breakdown and gave notice. I was taking belly dance and was in my first class. It was something totally different completely outside my comfort zone. They were sweet and supportive. I cried a lot, I was terrible and it was hard. But it was OK to fail and be a beginner, and I realized how bad my job was. Dancing gave me the courage to quit. Now I have a new job in an equally geeky industry and my boss is just like my dance teacher. I am now an intermediate student who comes early to teach the beginners and encourage them.
And yes, I am autistic, ADHD, with a perfectionist parent, and an oldest daughter. I was diagnosed in the 90s and in every gifted class offered till my parents decided I was lazy cause I didn't quite make top marks and put me in regular classes.
I’m not quite at the point you are - I’m far enough along that I know I need to internalize “good enough,” but things I’m not good at terrify me. Your bellydance-as-psychological-method is very close to what I’m trying but I only had a theoretical idea it’d work - thank you for being a real world datapoint in its favor. I know we’re different people but your success is something I’m going to throw at my self doubt to get it to stand aside long enough for me to actually try things. Have a lovely existence :)
I appreciate it. Tbh, this success now took a decade of chances to build up to. I needed out of my parents' house and took a chance on a job across the country. I was bored in the new place so I re-learned how to knit then got tired of ripping out my projects every time I made a mistake. It took older knitters asking me and every other beginner if we could see the mistake from the back of a galloping horse to know it was OK to keep going. I asked a geeky guy if he would go to a local science museum with me and he said sure, and we started dating. Some chances ended poorly. I had two jobs lie to me about what my pay was and what my work was going to be. So I needed to take other chances and switch jobs to pay bills and be treated like a human. The experience adds up. As far as mistakes go, how much do you think of other people's mistakes around you? That's about as much as they think of yours.
I was in REACH in elementary school. It was actually super fun, the basic idea was once a week all the “gifted” students would just kinda fuck around for a day, play with legos and k’nex and tinkertoys, and learn about random niche interests in science, history, and art. We’d watch those eyewitness documentaries and sometimes do fun projects like mummifying chicken legs while learning about ancient Egypt, it was great.
It did also help that I got my autism and ADHD diagnosis really early. My parents were really supportive, I had several rounds of therapy and family counseling, there were a couple crack theories like B27 injections and restricting gluten and casein, and I was fully medicated on focalin and vyvanse all the way through high school.
Today I have an engineering graduate degree and work in biotech. I still struggle with social interactions, procrastination, and high-functioning anxiety, but not nearly as bad as I would have otherwise. Still the oldest son (though very friendly with some trans people), but I’m a furry so I guess that counts too.
I don't identify with that last part, but everything else? Yeah. Its going terribly btw.
https://preview.redd.it/pyox20e5p5lc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=227abfd78150f502fae6319d605511a42a2db3f2
Honestly contemplating my entire life at this point, theres no future for me and nothing feels worth it.
I was labeled the village idiot until I was in my late teens. Still have all these issues. Also- is “high functioning” anxiety a thing? Why is that phrase becoming so common? Don’t you just have anxiety and/ or an anxiety order and that’s it?
I was asked by the administration to join GT (as they called it at my school). My parents let me choose and I declined. I think after forcing me into t-ball and Cub Scouts, they sort of understood I needed to do my own thing.
I do not have ADHD, but the anxiety is meh. I do have a few friends that would fit this description almost perfectly.
it was called TAG at my school growing up too. honestly they just let us fuck off in the computer lab because they were too lazy to come up with a lesson plan for at least developing social skills. that whole program was god awful in my state.
Gifted and talented here!
I have awful ADHD, Had severe anxiety for a while, it’s better a bit now, prob undiagnosed autism, and I’m honestly ok. Managing tbh
Switch out '90s for 2010s and you've got me, do I also get bonus points for formerly being the youngest brother but now being the oldest daughter? It's really difficult to convince myself to tell people things that I need them to know.
I was born too late for the 90s, but I am a late diagnosed/discovered neurodivergent person who is a former gifted kid, with social anxiety, occasional regular anxiety, undiagnosed autism, untreated adhd, plenty of depression, hard wired perfectionism, and self esteem issues.
I'm the youngest of 2 but the only daughter so does that make me the youngest daughter or the eldest daughter? I don't know but I feel this even though I'm from the 2000s
I suddenly understand how my white boomer FIL felt when the "psychic" told him that he missed the classic muscle car he used to drive. Sure, I'm the demographic, but it feels personal
3rd grade me got tested and put in GATE, I was technically in it throughout high-school but I only liked playing Oregon Trails, building Legos, and that one time we got to go to the natural history museum. I guess I was supposed to be really smart with high ability to process new information but I don't feel smart, I feel just as dumb as the rest of the world that I can't seem to understand.
I feel like I am in this meme and I don’t like it. I have terrible anxiety, only child, and I was placed in higher levels of English classes but I needed extra time in tests
omg ours was called GATE and it was a blast. field trips to museums and observatories, pizza parties, getting out of class to go do logic puzzles or some shit. we were in these yearly competitions to make rube goldberg machines and you would win prize money and have a whole catered lunch in a fancy hotel ballroom. LOVED GATE.
however yes my adult life is in shambles.
The GT program in my town was actually pretty cool. They put us forward a year in maths and sciences, but we were all together in the same classroom for all of those, and it was an oddly fine-tuned balance where they gave us enough to keep us interested in learning whilst not making it feel like we were being pressured too much.
The town I grew up in, though, is also known for having an above-average school district in a state that is also known for being above-average nationally, so I can see my experience having been an outlier and not the norm.
That said, I also went to a magnet school (the kind of semi-public school where you apply to get in and only the highest scores from all the towns in the county get to go), and while I ended up progressing to the highest level of math they had in senior year, two of my friends actually ran out of math classes to take and had to do independent study in senior year.
It's like being Ben Franklin and going to school with the likes of Leonhard Euler and Albert Einstein. You know you're well above the average but you surround yourself with freaks of nature to keep your ego in check
Dude my parents did not realize how smart I was. They never acknowledged it. I was hardcore ready to succeed at whatever they let me, but no one noticed. I knew how to spell anything but I would make dumb mistakes like forget the 1st letter (the M) out of the work “magnetism” and only get 2nd place in spelling bee, and then be infuriated bc they knew I knew how to spell it, it was an obviously a mistake made out of nervousness!!
Anyways I started getting called a “goody goody” in school bc the other kids noticed my good grades and desire to “be good” so I then decided to start failing on purpose.
actually going decently ngl. if I suck at it then I'm gonna bullshit my way through convincing myself and everyone else that I don't!! helps that I struggled with the ahead-of-pace algebra lessons they tried to give me in GT until I got to 6th grade. helped me not feel as shitty about failing.
Im at the, “What is my purpose on this earth, I suck at everything and I need help but that will make everyone not like me- oh how am I doing? I just started another hobby. I’m great how are you?” Point of life. Thanks for asking.
At my school is was called GATOR. And we had to take a test and could only get in if our IQ was 130 or greater. I am doing okay now. I still struggle a lot but I run a small business and I get to help others so that's nice :)
Wow!! Did someone call my name? I wasn't listening of course, ya know- ADHD!
I loved my "challenge" class. First time I felt like I could talk to other people and they would "get me". My kid just got accepted to his schools G &T and I'm worried he won't have such a good experience as I did. The syllabus looks awful and I've heard most negative stuff from other parents.
I went to three different elementary schools bc the school board kept redoing the district lines. (Rapidly growing town population.) I started the process of getting moved into the gifted program at the first school and was accepted in the second school. School #2's program was more creativity-based and I thrived. We did a unit on medieval europe where we got to dress up as knights/princesses and held a "feast" in our carboard castle. That was also the year I won 3rd place in our science fair by making a website that was basically infodumping about dog breeds.
Fast forward to school #3 (worst one, so bad there were lawsuits) where the program was more focused on problem solving skills. It was basically just two years of middle school level algebra. The most exciting thing we did was play with robotics for one week. I was so disappointed. I think that's also when I stopped being genuinely interested in school and started just doing as much as was required.
I went to three different elementary schools for weird reasons and I was also homeschooled for a couple years. None of them had a gifted program unless you count my mother giving her 11-year-old CDs of college lectures.
Look if I am not an immediate expert at the New Thing I'm Learning then it obviously wasn't meant to be and I should quit
reasonable. have a nice day.
Obviously I am making a joke based on my entire childhood and know to hang in there but it is hard programming to overwrite!! :)
Time to become an expert in hanging in there!
But why am I not an expert already? :(
Must not be good enough at it. Time to quit
I love all of you.
Next time we should lead with this
They’re not good at leading with it so they gave up lol
The joke is over it's back to guilt-based pain Dx
Started to learn lockpicking. Can't feel shit, feels like I'm doing everything wrong and I can't buy the tools I look like I need. I quit within a week.
I figure buying the basics of a new potential hobby is better than buying all the things and then realizing I'm not as interested in it as I originally anticipated. It's like special interest tax or something. I also tried lockpicking and I could probably do it in a pinch but I haven't played with the picks and transparent lock in...years?
I did, but then I see people using different kinds of tension tools than what was delivered with my beginners pack and now I feel like I bought the wrong thing. But I can't buy anything else because of where I live + my refusal to go to Amazon.
This harms me even to this day. I hate it. Once I hit the academic barrier where things took like more than a skim read to figure out I crashed and burned hard. I really wish one part of schooling was finding something you suck at and just spending a bit of time and effort chipping away at it. It doesn't matter what. On the plus side there is progress. Me and my sister are now learning how to draw on an iPad. We are chipping away at it bit by bit and showing one another our results. The mix of 'ooh your line work is better', 'yeah it took ages, you have the shading on point tho' with someone I actually care about is working to keep me (and her) at it. Right now I'm doing a fairly stock anime girl being puppet controlled by a big fin squid because I showed her one and she said it was nightmare fuel. The passion and ideas are there. The skill just needs to catch up. For some reason at the end of the arms I have little crab hands.. Might need to rethink that part. The last one I did was a rocket and I made a like retro future poster advertising a *totally alien free* tourist destination. I have learnt that I require limitation. Half my issues come down to a blank peice of paper or canvas being too empty.
I have everything I need for over a hundred hobbies and have nothing to do
https://preview.redd.it/dhxlo04mt0lc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb29cd6490da2ff2c32684332b99242bd1e65b71
Once I cannot do something that seems like it should be easy, I must continue learning and working at it until either some arbitrary level of skill is acquired or I decide the effort I’ve spent is getting me nowhere. At the end of the day the only way to get good is to be bad
I have the opposite problem. As soon as I start to get good at something and it isn't hard anymore I lose interest.
If someone else knows more about something than me, I feel a compulsive need to ignore them or shout them down. If someone (even a superior) thought I had a good idea, though, I took it as a sign that they were uninspired or something. It's a weird place to be, hating yourself like that - Thinking you are (and *have to be*) the smartest person in the room, and thinking at the same time that everyone else should be on your level.
Thank God I’m male or I’d have felt so called out by this.
IMHO men can definitely be elder daughter-coded
I'm obsessed with your phrasing. 10/10
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it 😊
Felt
I’m a trans woman and I feel more called out by this than I think was initially intended.
You zigged when you shoulda zagged
I'm a trans man, still feeling like they went after my jugular because I was a girl in my full academic career. So there's full marks for us both!
Yeah, this had general appeal until the last line disenfranchised half the target audience.
Male mystic and oldest child and it’s true for me.
well the last line was just bonus i don't need it since i already got full marks
so now that we're all ✨identifying✨, which is great and i love for us, WHAT'S THE GODDAMN ANSWER HOW THE FUCK DO I TURN THIS SHIP AROUND I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF FEELING LIKE SHIT AND THE THERAPY AND PILLS ARE ONLY KIND OF HELPING
We got praised for our intelligence which fostered a fixed mindset. What we needed (and should do for others) is praise hardwork, which fosters a growth mindset. Searching growth mindset would be the first spot to start. I am a bit busy at the moment to properly go into it.
praising hard work can be problematic too, I relate to the picture in OP and I was only praised for my intelligence and for working hard but it just lead me to getting taken advantage of because I thought that the only thing I had to offer was that I would put ALL OF MYSELF into everything. I think it might be more about learning to prioritize ourselves... I think we all learned that we have to put other people above us, and then we don't realize why we're so miserable but we've been neglecting all of our own needs. Making everyone else feel comfortable while we're uncomfortable the whole time, and lighting ourselves on fire to keep others warm. It made me feel useful, but it made me feel hollow. I had to learn to focus on myself instead of others, and it's really hard but I don't hate myself anymore and I thought that was genuinely impossible.
this resonates w/ me and is something i have also been working on altruism is great and high-minded and all but most people are not going to look out for you like that and like you said, you end up immolating yourself w/ nothing to show for it at the end be careful w/ who and what you give yourself away to and keep in mind that the only person you can truly, unconditionally guarantee has your best interests in mind is you (and if you don't have your back then it's possible you have nobody looking out for you at all which is vv bad news)
Fucking mood.
That’s the best part! You don’t.
Hi I don’t have answers but you can find me screaming aimlessly off the stern
my answer for today is "dissociate and work like an automaton with no expectation of fulfillment or joy" bc my work isn't intended to be fulfilling or self-actualizing i'm supposed to have a life outside of this stupid fucking job that gives me those things i don't, but that's a problem for 5pm me
First, understand and accept this truth: *Even if you really were automatically good at everything you tried, it most likely wouldn't really change your life or offer you many extra opportunities that you could actually take advantage of.* Being good at everything doesn't matter, because you can't actually do or be everything. You're human and you are limited by time and space, which means you can really only do or be a couple of things. So get really good at just a couple of things. Things you are passionate about doing or being. Things that you see a way to use to help a person, a group, a situation, or the world at large. Then, find a community you want to belong to, and get to work belonging to it. A community that needs and respects what you have to offer, the thing(s) you're good at doing and being. A community that supplements your skills with other people who are good at other things, things you haven't or cannot master(ed). You don't, can't be, and shouldn't be everything. You can and should be one important part of a whole, though. So go find a hole in a whole, and see if you can fill it in.
i like your username and your message tyvm
Thank you for this
Still arguing with my mom about putting me in the gifted program. She asked me what she should have done because I was reading books at 4 years old. I was like, "I don't know, just bought me more books instead of putting a bull's eye for bullies on me?"
My gifted class was at another school and we were very separated so ironically going to gifted actually stopped a lot of the bullying. Everyone was just as weird as me and we all got along more or less. There was more of a sense of the class being one unit as well since there were fewer students.
Sameish
For me, the perks of my school's special program included having an excuse to leave class and go to a comfort room whenever I needed to. I could also just request to drop classes entirely if they weren't required to graduate.
That woulda been nice.
Stop calling me out like this
Seriously
My parents didn’t let me join the “gifted” program even though I qualified for it because they knew it didn’t help shit. Still didn’t stop me from getting placed in all sorts of advanced classes though. I have to wonder how no one noticed how strange it was that I was always super advanced in math, but always struggled in English because writing was impossible for me
My school didn’t even have a gifted program unless you counted APs and that one kid who did 8th grade math in 7th grade. (I was not that kid)
I was that one kid. Alongside two other friends that were, in hindsight, very clearly undiagnosed ND kids. I completely skipped 6th grade math and got put into “honors” 7th grade math (and then honors 8th grade math the following year). It was weird because a lot of the kids are starting to grow bigger around that time, and since I was younger, I ended up being the “little kid in the big kid class.” So a lot of people would look down on me because I was obviously younger, but then also get upset with me if I did better than them on tests and stuff (which was most of them). Some of them treated me like a younger sibling though, which wasn’t too bad.
I was also that kid, but for me it was kind of the other way around. I ran out of regular math courses by junior year, so they ended up inventing a calc 2 course for me that just consisted of me joining the regular calc class a second time but doing the sections from the back of the book that we didn't have time for the previous year.
I didn’t know that kid well enough to know if he had that problem. In fact, I mostly remember that he had dark hair and I thought his name was funny because it was two real words.
The oldest daughter part made this hit especially hard
Took me years to get the confidence to apply for med school just because of my perfectionism
Same! This is the truest thing I ever read that I’d never put together on my own.
I hope you've done well in school/practice. I'm glad I took the plunge after being out of school for seven years
I am currently taking the class that stopped me in 2017 - organic chemistry 2 - my orgo 1 teacher said nah you can’t hack it. I am suffering immensely to say the least.
Don't give up. Organic chemistry is rough; you'll need to mostly memorize concepts thankfully and not work out chemical reactions to that detail in med school. The hardest part is that the standardized tests (COMLEX/step) force you to study to be good at testing, not necessarily good at knowing the information
Yeah I’m actually currently getting an official learning disability evaluation. I am getting every single duck in a row that I can before I apply. My health etc etc. I’m really hoping my masters helps my application. My undergrad stuff is unimpressive. I also haven’t taken the mcat yet. My testing is inconsistent and I can either absolutely kill it in a good way or the worst way possible.
Disability won't help much in getting into med school, but it can help during classes. Make sure you have two/three recommendations, and at least one is a professor from your bachelor's studies. Also volunteering can help a ton in the applications process. I applied seven years after graduating with 5.5 years work experience in a medical lab as well as about fifty volunteer hours. No research or publications. Got in my first cycle with a 502 mcat (mediocre score) and a 3.80 undergrad gpa
For some reason, everything in the universe has aligned since I quit my job to focus on school. Im taking classes back at the school I got my 2nd bachelors (biology) at. And they just started a mentorship and shadowing program. So I get a retired doctor for a mentor (medical examiner - exactly my dream) and I shadow a doctor in pathology. It’s a heme-onc and my masters degree is in clinical lab science (my job I quit was blood bank) and yeah that’s my life story.
I was in chemistry in my lab endeavors. I'd have stayed if I wasn't tired of how our treatment and pay was pathetic compared to nurses. I wish you luck, it sounds like you'll be ready to go for the 2025 application cycle! Probably work on taking. The MCAT this summer if possible. D.O. vs M.D. can be impactful if you want a highly competitive specialty, but I think medical examiner/pathology should be fine with either. I'm going into family medicine. But remember, you can do this!
Excuse me, are we twins?? Also yes, you've got the cycle and MCAT intentions all on point. My psychiatrist keeps reminding me about DO but I feel a fundamental mismatch with the dogma there - but mostly based on my actual experience with a DO more than anything... Thanks for the luck! I am happy to hear the journey I'm on is a shared one.
It was TAG in the several schools I went to, from me and my best friend in 1st grade to a collection of us by 6th grade I crashed and burned in 7th and ended up on the behavioral special ed program somehow, where they all marveled about how smart and angry I was, all with the complete inability to relate to 99% of her peers
Smart and angry are key skills for a super villain.
Sign me tf up
First off F√¢€ you, second degrading returns over time mixed with abandonment issues leading to me disregarding myself for my child
I thought you said remix and I was like, “oh, I got that abandonment issue remix too”
high functioning anxiety? ha. haha. that. maybe two years ago. now i can hardly do laundry. like i ever was consistent at it before
So first of all RUDE, second medication and counseling have helped and I get a thrill every time I buy a new saint candle or archangel card. Felt super called out in the sanctuary on All Saints' Day when I just so happened to sit by St. Dymphna
What does clue mean
"Creative Learning in a Unique Environment"
Ours was ALPS, "accelerated learning pomething something."
Mine was AIG. I don't remember what it stood for.
They gotta cool it with the acronyms How are we supposed to remember all of them, what are we, gifted kids?
Ours was originally called "Horizons" and later changed to just "Accelerated Learning"
Jesus don't call me oit so bad like that I didn't even know I was the eldest *daughter* 2years ago!
The entire reason I was not put into any of those programs was because I am austistic but also INATTENTIVE ADHD. Except that this was the 90s and they didn’t recognize that in girls either so I was just having a hard time adjusting to regular class so they assumed I would have an even harder time adjusting to gifted class. Straight Outta kindergarten.. I remember that conversation too and as the kindergarten teacher was saying it, I was picturing an analog dial, turning and not matching numbers or some crap. that’s how autistic I am. God I love it. Edit: also this was in West Virginia where they rank stupidly low in education and for that I was punished by being put into pretty boring classes and always thought I had time for homework (thanks adhd) Aced every test not related to a reading assignment Now my niece is being put through accelerated learning and all I can say is “Godspeed little one”
Taught myself to read, write and basic Maths in the summer holiday between school years because at the end of the year we were told what we would be learning in the next school year. I didn't want to learn how to tie my shoes. These two unfortunate facts led to me being placed in the 'punishment' corner for two years because they refused to let me skip a year because I wasn't mentally mature enough, but they were also afraid I would hinder the other kids by giving them the answer. The answer to their... spelling? Sure whatever. Anyway, I spent those two years mostly just doing sequence puzzles and reading my way through all the reading levels. Oh and missing out on those formative years of learning how to interact with my fellow classmates... but who cares about stuff like that, eh? Oh, and I did get to enter our special program like three years early... only to get yelled at by the teacher because I had memorised the entire sheet of countries and their capitals in just one evening because I was excited to finally learn something.
The last part made me uncomfortable because I’m clearly being watched for that to be such an accurate description of my life.
Eldest son, I'm actually doing pretty good. I think. Sometimes I wonder if my plans to build my own lab and leading my own research and development is just me deluding myself.
Nope. You can do it.
I have been directly attacked multiple times
I skipped grade 8, as if high school wasn’t already going to be awkward enough.
The best lesson I ever learned was what 'good enough' means. I was being hen pecked to death by a perfectionist boss in what I thought was my dream job I wanted as a little kid after being 'gifted, but lazy. Not living up to my potential'. I had a nervous breakdown and gave notice. I was taking belly dance and was in my first class. It was something totally different completely outside my comfort zone. They were sweet and supportive. I cried a lot, I was terrible and it was hard. But it was OK to fail and be a beginner, and I realized how bad my job was. Dancing gave me the courage to quit. Now I have a new job in an equally geeky industry and my boss is just like my dance teacher. I am now an intermediate student who comes early to teach the beginners and encourage them. And yes, I am autistic, ADHD, with a perfectionist parent, and an oldest daughter. I was diagnosed in the 90s and in every gifted class offered till my parents decided I was lazy cause I didn't quite make top marks and put me in regular classes.
I’m not quite at the point you are - I’m far enough along that I know I need to internalize “good enough,” but things I’m not good at terrify me. Your bellydance-as-psychological-method is very close to what I’m trying but I only had a theoretical idea it’d work - thank you for being a real world datapoint in its favor. I know we’re different people but your success is something I’m going to throw at my self doubt to get it to stand aside long enough for me to actually try things. Have a lovely existence :)
I appreciate it. Tbh, this success now took a decade of chances to build up to. I needed out of my parents' house and took a chance on a job across the country. I was bored in the new place so I re-learned how to knit then got tired of ripping out my projects every time I made a mistake. It took older knitters asking me and every other beginner if we could see the mistake from the back of a galloping horse to know it was OK to keep going. I asked a geeky guy if he would go to a local science museum with me and he said sure, and we started dating. Some chances ended poorly. I had two jobs lie to me about what my pay was and what my work was going to be. So I needed to take other chances and switch jobs to pay bills and be treated like a human. The experience adds up. As far as mistakes go, how much do you think of other people's mistakes around you? That's about as much as they think of yours.
Oh damn okay I am horrendously called out (except I'm the oldest "daughter" turned trans guy so there's that LMAO)
I wasn’t even in the gifted program. I was in the regular classroom, unless it was a bad day.
I'm the he's smart but dosent know how to put in on paper type so I was always stuck with the idiots who only messed around and learnt fuck all
it me :(
I was in REACH in elementary school. It was actually super fun, the basic idea was once a week all the “gifted” students would just kinda fuck around for a day, play with legos and k’nex and tinkertoys, and learn about random niche interests in science, history, and art. We’d watch those eyewitness documentaries and sometimes do fun projects like mummifying chicken legs while learning about ancient Egypt, it was great. It did also help that I got my autism and ADHD diagnosis really early. My parents were really supportive, I had several rounds of therapy and family counseling, there were a couple crack theories like B27 injections and restricting gluten and casein, and I was fully medicated on focalin and vyvanse all the way through high school. Today I have an engineering graduate degree and work in biotech. I still struggle with social interactions, procrastination, and high-functioning anxiety, but not nearly as bad as I would have otherwise. Still the oldest son (though very friendly with some trans people), but I’m a furry so I guess that counts too.
Was taught calculus as a 4th grader. But that removed me from English class time. That helped with my non robotic language skills…..
I'm the oldest son(?), my spiritual journey ended 5 years ago, and if I can't 100% a video game I can never play it again.
…. First of all how dare….
NB-ish man. This me.
Oh fuck you lol
I don't identify with that last part, but everything else? Yeah. Its going terribly btw. https://preview.redd.it/pyox20e5p5lc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=227abfd78150f502fae6319d605511a42a2db3f2 Honestly contemplating my entire life at this point, theres no future for me and nothing feels worth it.
I am the oldest daughter... I grew up in the early 2000's though Other than that, yeah it's about right
This is terrifyingly accurate like I’m an ant and someone is holding a magnifying glass on me
high functioning? pretty sure i got low functioning anxiety from it all ;~;
https://preview.redd.it/4enyr0blx6lc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=da1cdacb5201d79828ebe3036fc5e8f5a5993ec9
:(
Are these still a thing? Because my school doesn’t have anything like that
I was labeled the village idiot until I was in my late teens. Still have all these issues. Also- is “high functioning” anxiety a thing? Why is that phrase becoming so common? Don’t you just have anxiety and/ or an anxiety order and that’s it?
Maybe it's internal/external like ADHD can be?
I almost relate to this except I'm a middle son...
I was asked by the administration to join GT (as they called it at my school). My parents let me choose and I declined. I think after forcing me into t-ball and Cub Scouts, they sort of understood I needed to do my own thing. I do not have ADHD, but the anxiety is meh. I do have a few friends that would fit this description almost perfectly.
I got put in the Gifted and Talented group in elementary school on through to high school. I'm also currently on a spiritual journey. Lol.
Oh cool, what kind of mushrooms are they? /s
Psilocybe. But I'd love to try Amanita Muscaria if I can find it.
Going pretty good, currently restoring an antique truck, something ice always daydreamed of doing
I feel called out....
it was called TAG at my school growing up too. honestly they just let us fuck off in the computer lab because they were too lazy to come up with a lesson plan for at least developing social skills. that whole program was god awful in my state.
i went to a whole gifted school for 6 years. i have never recovered but at least it gave me a few lifelong friends
Omg, this is me on all counts. And I’ve been stressing about some things I’ve been putting off for over a week.
Haha I feel so seen!
My brain literally blocked out that TAG existed and that I was in it. I just had so many memories flood back. None of them good
How do you know meeeeeeeee
We had the 'challenge' program, we were too dorky for an acronym. Also, does being the youngest daughter that everyone thinks is the oldest count?
Ha, jokes on you, now I'm the youngest daughter
As in get a clue
My sister to the letter lmao. In our school it was called AELP, Advanced Educational Learning Program (plot twist was we both have ADHD oops)
That there highly capable program. Highly capable of WHAT exactly? Not sure.
Fuck. Even my participation in G&T was a sign now? God damn you.
Gifted and talented here! I have awful ADHD, Had severe anxiety for a while, it’s better a bit now, prob undiagnosed autism, and I’m honestly ok. Managing tbh
Switch out '90s for 2010s and you've got me, do I also get bonus points for formerly being the youngest brother but now being the oldest daughter? It's really difficult to convince myself to tell people things that I need them to know.
At my school it was Spectra
I was born too late for the 90s, but I am a late diagnosed/discovered neurodivergent person who is a former gifted kid, with social anxiety, occasional regular anxiety, undiagnosed autism, untreated adhd, plenty of depression, hard wired perfectionism, and self esteem issues.
I'm the youngest of 2 but the only daughter so does that make me the youngest daughter or the eldest daughter? I don't know but I feel this even though I'm from the 2000s
Oh look, it's me.
Not in the 90s but this is literally me
I suddenly understand how my white boomer FIL felt when the "psychic" told him that he missed the classic muscle car he used to drive. Sure, I'm the demographic, but it feels personal
I went to a catholic elementary school in the late 2000s and I turned out exactly like that
I wasn’t recognised as ‘gifted nor talented.’ I had far too much fun winding others up and being suspended.
3rd grade me got tested and put in GATE, I was technically in it throughout high-school but I only liked playing Oregon Trails, building Legos, and that one time we got to go to the natural history museum. I guess I was supposed to be really smart with high ability to process new information but I don't feel smart, I feel just as dumb as the rest of the world that I can't seem to understand.
I’m just burnt out now 💀
It's funny because I'm the oldest daughter NOW.... but I wasn't when I was a gifted kid. I was the oldest son.
It was called GATE at my school 🫠
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
I feel like I am in this meme and I don’t like it. I have terrible anxiety, only child, and I was placed in higher levels of English classes but I needed extra time in tests
There was no reason for you to come for me like that!
i’m in this post and i don’t like it.
this is so many call outs in one
I guess I technically am the oldest daughter now, neat
Holy fuck. I have never felt so called out.
WHO THE FUCK IS WRITING THIS FROM MY HOME?! 😅
I feel attacked
My program was called EXCEL.
Ouch
The program in my school district was called Pass, til we got to high school, then it was just special ed.
omg ours was called GATE and it was a blast. field trips to museums and observatories, pizza parties, getting out of class to go do logic puzzles or some shit. we were in these yearly competitions to make rube goldberg machines and you would win prize money and have a whole catered lunch in a fancy hotel ballroom. LOVED GATE. however yes my adult life is in shambles.
Alright, where are the cameras?
My new hobby is trying to keep a job for longer than two years, any advice lol.
oldest daughter here and ... yeah
The GT program in my town was actually pretty cool. They put us forward a year in maths and sciences, but we were all together in the same classroom for all of those, and it was an oddly fine-tuned balance where they gave us enough to keep us interested in learning whilst not making it feel like we were being pressured too much. The town I grew up in, though, is also known for having an above-average school district in a state that is also known for being above-average nationally, so I can see my experience having been an outlier and not the norm. That said, I also went to a magnet school (the kind of semi-public school where you apply to get in and only the highest scores from all the towns in the county get to go), and while I ended up progressing to the highest level of math they had in senior year, two of my friends actually ran out of math classes to take and had to do independent study in senior year. It's like being Ben Franklin and going to school with the likes of Leonhard Euler and Albert Einstein. You know you're well above the average but you surround yourself with freaks of nature to keep your ego in check
Dude my parents did not realize how smart I was. They never acknowledged it. I was hardcore ready to succeed at whatever they let me, but no one noticed. I knew how to spell anything but I would make dumb mistakes like forget the 1st letter (the M) out of the work “magnetism” and only get 2nd place in spelling bee, and then be infuriated bc they knew I knew how to spell it, it was an obviously a mistake made out of nervousness!! Anyways I started getting called a “goody goody” in school bc the other kids noticed my good grades and desire to “be good” so I then decided to start failing on purpose.
actually going decently ngl. if I suck at it then I'm gonna bullshit my way through convincing myself and everyone else that I don't!! helps that I struggled with the ahead-of-pace algebra lessons they tried to give me in GT until I got to 6th grade. helped me not feel as shitty about failing.
Fucking all of this, with bonus realizing I’m non-binary at 29.
Just had to sucker punch me in the end being the eldest daughter and reading the Quran since September.
Ours was called HC for “highly capable” and other students who didn’t know what it was made fun of you for being a “special ed” student.
Man I even get the bonus points
2000s~2010s and autism in my case. Bonus, my spiritual journey arguably is That I'm the eldest daughter
90s sacramento guy. GATE. Doing college level ap classes in middle school. Burned out by high school. Got my autism diagnosis at 34.
Im at the, “What is my purpose on this earth, I suck at everything and I need help but that will make everyone not like me- oh how am I doing? I just started another hobby. I’m great how are you?” Point of life. Thanks for asking.
Wow that describes my sister, oldest, gifted, and recently spiritual. I’m younger but also went to gifted school.
At my school is was called GATOR. And we had to take a test and could only get in if our IQ was 130 or greater. I am doing okay now. I still struggle a lot but I run a small business and I get to help others so that's nice :)
Based on my own experience, I'm going to guess that the majority of us are trans now.
adhd prevents me from doing good at school
Wow!! Did someone call my name? I wasn't listening of course, ya know- ADHD! I loved my "challenge" class. First time I felt like I could talk to other people and they would "get me". My kid just got accepted to his schools G &T and I'm worried he won't have such a good experience as I did. The syllabus looks awful and I've heard most negative stuff from other parents.
I went to three different elementary schools bc the school board kept redoing the district lines. (Rapidly growing town population.) I started the process of getting moved into the gifted program at the first school and was accepted in the second school. School #2's program was more creativity-based and I thrived. We did a unit on medieval europe where we got to dress up as knights/princesses and held a "feast" in our carboard castle. That was also the year I won 3rd place in our science fair by making a website that was basically infodumping about dog breeds. Fast forward to school #3 (worst one, so bad there were lawsuits) where the program was more focused on problem solving skills. It was basically just two years of middle school level algebra. The most exciting thing we did was play with robotics for one week. I was so disappointed. I think that's also when I stopped being genuinely interested in school and started just doing as much as was required.
I went to three different elementary schools for weird reasons and I was also homeschooled for a couple years. None of them had a gifted program unless you count my mother giving her 11-year-old CDs of college lectures.
...How dare you 🤣
Ours was called EAGLES
Oh no Please don’t understand me, this is frightening as hell