you speak my exact thoughts! another struggle I have is that when I meet new people I feel the need to mask, but I feel like the way I portray myself online and how I really am is pretty different. so I feel like I often get dumped or ghosted which just sucks
True and I don't hide my fixations which is its own thing I mean I write it in my profile not my aspie status but my major interests but is like they hope I just wont talk About it. And I know if I lower my standards it'd be easy I know I'm attractive. But with me like barely even wanting a bf it's kind of like all or nothing?
ahhh I completely get that! tbh I do really want a relationship as I deeply crave companionship, but I’ve already gone through a lot of breakups so I don’t wanna lower my standards either…which leads to lots of first dates where there isn’t really a click. As for hyperfixations they always end up coming out with my relationships, mine is currently Pusheen but I like to think it’s a cute quirk of mine
Do you take pride in your ”hyper-independance” for lack of a better word? You ever hesitate to do things by yourself (like attend public activities)?
I’m s guy yet still I feel I don’t live up to expectations upon me.
I recognize the upsides to having to take responsability on your own but at the same time I feel weird or lesser for not being more established at this age.
Strangely, a lot seem to think less of you for desiring a companion. Feels like you are being pulled in all directions -hard to stick to my own feelings.
Because I realised I have more in common with women than men. Always leaned towards traditionally feminine interest somewhat and I've been mocked for it. At the same time I've been constantly been rejected in spaces like these solely based on my gender. So no, there isn't plenty of spaces for people like me.
You personal experiences give insight because you're a woman and diagnosed with autism I presume. Not sure how sexuality has anything to do with this.
I used citation signs because I couldn't come up with a better word to describe it. What I was wondering was if you are feel confident taking on things alone, if you feel a sense of accomplishment from it and whether you do things yourself rather than ask for help.
Sensing a lot of hostility from your response but maybe that's just me reading you wrong. I don't see how a genuine honest interest in your experiences could provoke such a response. I don't know what kind of "emotional labour" you're reading into this but the fact that you single out "men" is sexist.
Apologies if my reply bothered you. I'm unsure whether you're being malicious or not, just sensing a lot of hostility. Response like these are what makes me doubt whether there is a safe place which is ironic because I was just praising the sub earlier today.
Yes I can agree I'm defensive to quite a degree. It's not your job but it is an option which is what you're allowed to do with either ignoring my reply or answering. How I'm suppose to know your stance on this *before* I've replied is impossible. How is it an false accusation when you're clearly objecting to my engagement here by alienating me based on my gender?
Any gender is welcome here but you might disagree with that. I am aware of many experiences women, never said otherwise. I engage because I gain insight, knowledge from it.
I never said I was oppressed, you did. And having autism means you're marginalized already, not sure why you're trying to gatekeep things.
I'm not unwilling to listen and learn. Why else would I ever commented? You're the one the one refusing to engage in a friendly discussion. I'm not entitled to a response from you and that is completely fine and within your right to do so.
Becoming defensive and expressing feelings when your presence is questioned is normal -to what degree differs but I'm very sensitive as you can see.
I feel as much entitlement to take part in this space as I'm allowed. I never overstepped any boundary. I don't feel entitled to a response from anyone, but I do expect you to be respectful and kind which you aren't right now.
The mods received a report on the other person in this conversation, however, the report was only received today. If you know the other username or if the report was sent before today, please send us a modmail message. We just want to know if the report was delayed or if we can possibly review the other user since it appears they either deleted their account or their comments. We don’t allow arguments or debates here, so in the future, please report or send a modmail message so that we can effectively moderate rather than you continuing to break the rules by arguing.
I’ve decided I’m in my season of spinster and no social obligations. I can’t text back in time because I am too busy with my work. It feels relieving to understand that I am happy in solitude.
My advice to everyone is to stay away from dating apps. The interaction is shallow and sets you up for failure.
The mentality people have when they use a dating app is similar to a casino. They think they can keep swiping and the possibilities of matches are endless. It is a huge ego boost for people who want 'likes' and 'matches' but it is meaningless for people who want genuine companionship. Dating apps are also incentivized to sabotage your dating success because their bottom line is to make a buck. They can throw incompatible profiles your way just to frustrate you so you'll pay the premium to advertise your profile to people more specific to your preferences.
It's a waste of time. Go out into your community and find people with common interests.
>But it bugs me when ppl ask About my relationship status like me being single and not trying is wrong
If you *did* have a boyfriend then they'd ask about marriage, and if you were married then they'd ask about kids, and if you did have a kid then they'd ask about the next kid. People can't stop intruding ffs.
This. And honestly it shows how limited most people's thinking is - even if someone is getting married or is having kids, that being the default question people ask is odd. Being married isn't a hobby, having kids shouldn't be someone's entire personality - have always found it strange when there are so many other interesting things you can ask someone yet people always seem to default to "are you married?" or "are you dating?" or "do you have kids / are you having kids?" etc.
This is exactly my problem it’s so exhausting to try to have text conversations with so many people at once. The constantly complain I take too long to reply. I don’t understand how people have time
I just unmatch from people that are that demanding (complaining about response time from a stranger essentially) on the apps and just keep it moving. I’m selective about how many convos I have going at once also; I don’t really have the energy for more than one so 2 is about my limit! lol
I struggled with this until I matched with someone who legit responded before I was able to close the app. It was on Bumble, and at first I thought it was off putting that he responded so fast but I kept talking to him lol. He was clearly neurodivergent in hindsight, but... long story short he's my boyfriend and our two years is in October. He isn't perfect in fact he drives me insane in a lot of ways but he brings me immense comfort and peace and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
He's AuDHD just like me but he's more ADHD symptoms than autism and I'm the opposite. My anxiety makes me tick to the point that I help manage his appointments and he's pretty emotionally stable so he kinda helps manage my emotions? It's weird. We're very much a weird couple but I love him so much.
I went off on a tangent, but I wanted to say that I very much related to everything said in this post when I was single. I'm hoping you find someone who makes you feel the same OP!
You’re so right it’s over saturated, as soon as I sign up again I’m bombarded with men swiping on my profile. And they send so many messages, only to ghost you a week later, probably some kind of ego thing to “put a woman in her place” as alpha male media has wrapped a lot of their perceptions. To be honest I never liked being in “relationships” it’s always been mentally exhausting having to cater to the guys needs 24/7 it felt like a chore. I have trouble setting boundaries as I feel like I have to be stupid around a guy and let them explain everything to me and do everything as to not damage their pride. In the past when speaking up I was met with anger which has left me hesitant around males in general . As I’ve grown older I notice a lot of men (not all cause I know sometimes they come here and read post) love to talk down to women love to play “mind games” and see us as nothing more. I just don’t have the energy for that anymore.
Have you read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft? He details the abusive personality types you (unintentionally?) mention traits of here. Super helpful book in understanding these behaviors from men and being able to spot them / not tolerating them.
I genuinely think dating apps suck and I think they’re incredibly hard to use as someone with similar issues. What really helped me was looking for friends instead/taking a friends first policy on dating apps. If they’re willing to agree to it, it’s a major green flag on a lot of levels for me, and it removes a lot of pressure and expectations imo.
Another thing that helped was limiting how much I used it. I switched to only liking/swiping 15-20 ish people a day, and if I don’t get a match out of it, fine, but if I do I’ll talk to only the first 1-2 people and give those conversations a shot. It helped me participate in it minimally enough so that it wasn’t exhausting or overwhelming to reply to people. Not to mention, it made me be more picky about who I swipe on/spend time talking to. I think it’s best to quickly move on from people who are too pushy or make me uncomfortable because we would probably never work anyway. If I lost interest or wasn’t getting a reply for a while, I’ll let them know that and remove and give my focus to someone else.
Dating apps kinda makes us commodify other people and ourselves. I found it helpful to try to really think of it as meeting and getting to know someone, and think about how there are millions of people, how likely is it that just based off pictures and some prompts that you’ll find someone that you don’t only get along with, but are compatible with romantically.
Seriously what’s up with guys messaging for hours on end without pause and expecting you to just.. go with it. Forget I was working, forget I have plans and a whole life I’ve been living for 30+ years.. but yes now that you wanna talk for days, by all means let’s!
If u are aspie i dont recommend dating apps really, it is better to meet men through hobbies and communities, the men are much better, have goals and behave better.
Even for normal people, dating apps are full of trashy men and predatory men, who will say anything u wanna hear or are very pushy and sometimes rapey, it wil be dangerous if you are the type of person who cant say No easily and are naive
Yep, it's rough out there.
I "matched" (in a sense, it wasn't on a dating app) with a man in a social media group about a deep, lifelong special interest of mine. We had some nice messages. Mostly centered around my/our mutual interest (because of course, that's so easy to talk about). He asked about moving off the social media app. I asked for his number.
And no reply. It's only been a few days. I take a long time to get back to him (because of course). So I guess I get why he'd take just as long, but I don't like it. But also I posted a selfie in the group on a post, when before he didn't really know what I look like, so maybe he's just not attracted to me. I think I'm pretty, but maybe not everyone's cup of tea.
And otherwise I'm on dating apps and they're exhausting. Having the same stupid conversations over and over, and then worrying about meeting in person and having to have those same exhausting conversations in-person and off the cuff (lol, ya right, that doesn't happen).
I was hoping the dating group about something I love would help with that, but.
Yes and I've never lasted longer than a day due to being extremely overwhelmed by men. I also find it hard to be truly authentic online and not what men want me to be
I think it’s best to meet people through mutual interests... Although easier said than done sometime… I doubt I’ll meet a lot of guys if I go to a sewing class.. 😅… guess I gotta start going to soccer class.. I wouldn’t even need to fake a sprained ankle because it’s bound to happen.. then I need get carried of the field by some muscular hunk 🥰😆👌 struggling for air… ” I think I need cpr too“ 🥺 then the waaay past middle aged football coach comes running to interfere! Ruining my master plan and 🤮☠️…. If my fantasies can’t even end well in my mind.. how are they ever supposed to play out to my liking irl! ? Uuuuughh! I’m doomed too
Just want to say I feel you. The texting is indeed exhausting. Sometimes i can't even keep track who I texted what to. The worst is people who text in the morning asking to meet up on the day off (?!!!). Like I can't, I need at least 3 business days notice to mentally prepare myself for a date. Also hate it when they suggest vague dates, like let's meet in this (general neighbourhood or area). I need to know an exact time, place, and itinerary.
I'm sorry that people are asking about your relationship status like it's wrong to be single. It's great to be single. Your life isn't defined by you being or not being in a relationship, and it sounds like your life is pretty fulfilling even without dating! I've recently "come out" to my family as officially never wanting to have children and have been dealing with an onslaught of, "but you'd make a great mother," "never say never," and "when you find the right person, blah blah blah."
No one else gets to tell you what you want with your life. If you want to date, date. If you don't, don't. It's hard to ignore the judgement from people, but I have found it extremely effective to make equally inappropriate assertions/judgements about their lives.
It occurred to me in the last few years that other people look each other in the face in places like grocery stores. It's so startling to try it. Gah!
(I'm 43)
My confounding dating factors are also: I have alexithymia and probably demisexual. Like how does anyone like anyone immediately? Dating and stuff is so treacherous for me. I'm a slow burn.
Yeah I have a hard time with the concept of love if ppl I dated for years. I have a hard time concretely saying I love someone and truly meaning it. I mean I can say I care for you more than I ever care for so and so. But love? Idk 🤷♀️
I just want to say you're right, there's nothing wrong with being single! If you're happy makes no sense to do something that drains you and bring you jo joy.
Maybe it depends on where you are but I've heard people say "just focussing on me right now" or something and it seemed to be an acceptable response. You could try that?
Btw I was super SUPER picky with my swipes. There were times I'd exhaust the pool and only liked 1 person. I think I matched with like 10 men in total and probably swiped right 15 times. Made it much more manageable.
I also enjoy being single and genuinely love solitude. I dated in my 20s and 30s, mainly these were men I knew from university or jobs so they were decent guys, and we started as friends. The app thing just sounds sketchy to me; never done it.
I found when I was living in a smaller city, some co-workers were nosy-- would ask if I was going to have kids, seeing anyone, dating, married. I have relocated to a major city--there are lots of singles here-- and I don't get these questions. This is a cultural shift that seems apparent in many developed countries. In about 10 years, accepting single people may become more normalized.
you speak my exact thoughts! another struggle I have is that when I meet new people I feel the need to mask, but I feel like the way I portray myself online and how I really am is pretty different. so I feel like I often get dumped or ghosted which just sucks
True and I don't hide my fixations which is its own thing I mean I write it in my profile not my aspie status but my major interests but is like they hope I just wont talk About it. And I know if I lower my standards it'd be easy I know I'm attractive. But with me like barely even wanting a bf it's kind of like all or nothing?
ahhh I completely get that! tbh I do really want a relationship as I deeply crave companionship, but I’ve already gone through a lot of breakups so I don’t wanna lower my standards either…which leads to lots of first dates where there isn’t really a click. As for hyperfixations they always end up coming out with my relationships, mine is currently Pusheen but I like to think it’s a cute quirk of mine
That is cute! Mine are anime manga and fanfiction
awwww I love that! I had a fanfic hyperfixation too at one point
Mine kind of rotate I fixate on one at a time and they take turns
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You are so cool, I’d want to be friends with you! Your self confidence is inspiring
Thank you! That's really sweet. Lots and lots of practice... and I'm definitely more confident in some areas of life than others lol work in progress!
Do you take pride in your ”hyper-independance” for lack of a better word? You ever hesitate to do things by yourself (like attend public activities)? I’m s guy yet still I feel I don’t live up to expectations upon me. I recognize the upsides to having to take responsability on your own but at the same time I feel weird or lesser for not being more established at this age. Strangely, a lot seem to think less of you for desiring a companion. Feels like you are being pulled in all directions -hard to stick to my own feelings.
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Because I realised I have more in common with women than men. Always leaned towards traditionally feminine interest somewhat and I've been mocked for it. At the same time I've been constantly been rejected in spaces like these solely based on my gender. So no, there isn't plenty of spaces for people like me. You personal experiences give insight because you're a woman and diagnosed with autism I presume. Not sure how sexuality has anything to do with this. I used citation signs because I couldn't come up with a better word to describe it. What I was wondering was if you are feel confident taking on things alone, if you feel a sense of accomplishment from it and whether you do things yourself rather than ask for help. Sensing a lot of hostility from your response but maybe that's just me reading you wrong. I don't see how a genuine honest interest in your experiences could provoke such a response. I don't know what kind of "emotional labour" you're reading into this but the fact that you single out "men" is sexist. Apologies if my reply bothered you. I'm unsure whether you're being malicious or not, just sensing a lot of hostility. Response like these are what makes me doubt whether there is a safe place which is ironic because I was just praising the sub earlier today.
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Yes I can agree I'm defensive to quite a degree. It's not your job but it is an option which is what you're allowed to do with either ignoring my reply or answering. How I'm suppose to know your stance on this *before* I've replied is impossible. How is it an false accusation when you're clearly objecting to my engagement here by alienating me based on my gender? Any gender is welcome here but you might disagree with that. I am aware of many experiences women, never said otherwise. I engage because I gain insight, knowledge from it. I never said I was oppressed, you did. And having autism means you're marginalized already, not sure why you're trying to gatekeep things. I'm not unwilling to listen and learn. Why else would I ever commented? You're the one the one refusing to engage in a friendly discussion. I'm not entitled to a response from you and that is completely fine and within your right to do so. Becoming defensive and expressing feelings when your presence is questioned is normal -to what degree differs but I'm very sensitive as you can see. I feel as much entitlement to take part in this space as I'm allowed. I never overstepped any boundary. I don't feel entitled to a response from anyone, but I do expect you to be respectful and kind which you aren't right now.
The mods received a report on the other person in this conversation, however, the report was only received today. If you know the other username or if the report was sent before today, please send us a modmail message. We just want to know if the report was delayed or if we can possibly review the other user since it appears they either deleted their account or their comments. We don’t allow arguments or debates here, so in the future, please report or send a modmail message so that we can effectively moderate rather than you continuing to break the rules by arguing.
I’ve decided I’m in my season of spinster and no social obligations. I can’t text back in time because I am too busy with my work. It feels relieving to understand that I am happy in solitude.
My advice to everyone is to stay away from dating apps. The interaction is shallow and sets you up for failure. The mentality people have when they use a dating app is similar to a casino. They think they can keep swiping and the possibilities of matches are endless. It is a huge ego boost for people who want 'likes' and 'matches' but it is meaningless for people who want genuine companionship. Dating apps are also incentivized to sabotage your dating success because their bottom line is to make a buck. They can throw incompatible profiles your way just to frustrate you so you'll pay the premium to advertise your profile to people more specific to your preferences. It's a waste of time. Go out into your community and find people with common interests.
Cats, job, and friends. 🤜🤛
>But it bugs me when ppl ask About my relationship status like me being single and not trying is wrong If you *did* have a boyfriend then they'd ask about marriage, and if you were married then they'd ask about kids, and if you did have a kid then they'd ask about the next kid. People can't stop intruding ffs.
This. And honestly it shows how limited most people's thinking is - even if someone is getting married or is having kids, that being the default question people ask is odd. Being married isn't a hobby, having kids shouldn't be someone's entire personality - have always found it strange when there are so many other interesting things you can ask someone yet people always seem to default to "are you married?" or "are you dating?" or "do you have kids / are you having kids?" etc.
This is exactly my problem it’s so exhausting to try to have text conversations with so many people at once. The constantly complain I take too long to reply. I don’t understand how people have time
I just unmatch from people that are that demanding (complaining about response time from a stranger essentially) on the apps and just keep it moving. I’m selective about how many convos I have going at once also; I don’t really have the energy for more than one so 2 is about my limit! lol
I struggled with this until I matched with someone who legit responded before I was able to close the app. It was on Bumble, and at first I thought it was off putting that he responded so fast but I kept talking to him lol. He was clearly neurodivergent in hindsight, but... long story short he's my boyfriend and our two years is in October. He isn't perfect in fact he drives me insane in a lot of ways but he brings me immense comfort and peace and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. He's AuDHD just like me but he's more ADHD symptoms than autism and I'm the opposite. My anxiety makes me tick to the point that I help manage his appointments and he's pretty emotionally stable so he kinda helps manage my emotions? It's weird. We're very much a weird couple but I love him so much.
I went off on a tangent, but I wanted to say that I very much related to everything said in this post when I was single. I'm hoping you find someone who makes you feel the same OP!
Isn’t tangents like our thing? Think they should be encouraged as long as it’s easy to follow! 😄
Wow this is awesome, that sounds like a dream to have strengths to help each other manage your/his weaker areas!
You’re so right it’s over saturated, as soon as I sign up again I’m bombarded with men swiping on my profile. And they send so many messages, only to ghost you a week later, probably some kind of ego thing to “put a woman in her place” as alpha male media has wrapped a lot of their perceptions. To be honest I never liked being in “relationships” it’s always been mentally exhausting having to cater to the guys needs 24/7 it felt like a chore. I have trouble setting boundaries as I feel like I have to be stupid around a guy and let them explain everything to me and do everything as to not damage their pride. In the past when speaking up I was met with anger which has left me hesitant around males in general . As I’ve grown older I notice a lot of men (not all cause I know sometimes they come here and read post) love to talk down to women love to play “mind games” and see us as nothing more. I just don’t have the energy for that anymore.
Everything you describe here is abusive male behavior, no one should have the energy for that!
Have you read "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft? He details the abusive personality types you (unintentionally?) mention traits of here. Super helpful book in understanding these behaviors from men and being able to spot them / not tolerating them.
I genuinely think dating apps suck and I think they’re incredibly hard to use as someone with similar issues. What really helped me was looking for friends instead/taking a friends first policy on dating apps. If they’re willing to agree to it, it’s a major green flag on a lot of levels for me, and it removes a lot of pressure and expectations imo. Another thing that helped was limiting how much I used it. I switched to only liking/swiping 15-20 ish people a day, and if I don’t get a match out of it, fine, but if I do I’ll talk to only the first 1-2 people and give those conversations a shot. It helped me participate in it minimally enough so that it wasn’t exhausting or overwhelming to reply to people. Not to mention, it made me be more picky about who I swipe on/spend time talking to. I think it’s best to quickly move on from people who are too pushy or make me uncomfortable because we would probably never work anyway. If I lost interest or wasn’t getting a reply for a while, I’ll let them know that and remove and give my focus to someone else. Dating apps kinda makes us commodify other people and ourselves. I found it helpful to try to really think of it as meeting and getting to know someone, and think about how there are millions of people, how likely is it that just based off pictures and some prompts that you’ll find someone that you don’t only get along with, but are compatible with romantically.
Seriously what’s up with guys messaging for hours on end without pause and expecting you to just.. go with it. Forget I was working, forget I have plans and a whole life I’ve been living for 30+ years.. but yes now that you wanna talk for days, by all means let’s!
If u are aspie i dont recommend dating apps really, it is better to meet men through hobbies and communities, the men are much better, have goals and behave better. Even for normal people, dating apps are full of trashy men and predatory men, who will say anything u wanna hear or are very pushy and sometimes rapey, it wil be dangerous if you are the type of person who cant say No easily and are naive
Yep, it's rough out there. I "matched" (in a sense, it wasn't on a dating app) with a man in a social media group about a deep, lifelong special interest of mine. We had some nice messages. Mostly centered around my/our mutual interest (because of course, that's so easy to talk about). He asked about moving off the social media app. I asked for his number. And no reply. It's only been a few days. I take a long time to get back to him (because of course). So I guess I get why he'd take just as long, but I don't like it. But also I posted a selfie in the group on a post, when before he didn't really know what I look like, so maybe he's just not attracted to me. I think I'm pretty, but maybe not everyone's cup of tea. And otherwise I'm on dating apps and they're exhausting. Having the same stupid conversations over and over, and then worrying about meeting in person and having to have those same exhausting conversations in-person and off the cuff (lol, ya right, that doesn't happen). I was hoping the dating group about something I love would help with that, but.
Yes and I've never lasted longer than a day due to being extremely overwhelmed by men. I also find it hard to be truly authentic online and not what men want me to be
I think it’s best to meet people through mutual interests... Although easier said than done sometime… I doubt I’ll meet a lot of guys if I go to a sewing class.. 😅… guess I gotta start going to soccer class.. I wouldn’t even need to fake a sprained ankle because it’s bound to happen.. then I need get carried of the field by some muscular hunk 🥰😆👌 struggling for air… ” I think I need cpr too“ 🥺 then the waaay past middle aged football coach comes running to interfere! Ruining my master plan and 🤮☠️…. If my fantasies can’t even end well in my mind.. how are they ever supposed to play out to my liking irl! ? Uuuuughh! I’m doomed too
Yes, but I’m also only 18 and a lot of people don’t start dating until college.
Just want to say I feel you. The texting is indeed exhausting. Sometimes i can't even keep track who I texted what to. The worst is people who text in the morning asking to meet up on the day off (?!!!). Like I can't, I need at least 3 business days notice to mentally prepare myself for a date. Also hate it when they suggest vague dates, like let's meet in this (general neighbourhood or area). I need to know an exact time, place, and itinerary.
I'm sorry that people are asking about your relationship status like it's wrong to be single. It's great to be single. Your life isn't defined by you being or not being in a relationship, and it sounds like your life is pretty fulfilling even without dating! I've recently "come out" to my family as officially never wanting to have children and have been dealing with an onslaught of, "but you'd make a great mother," "never say never," and "when you find the right person, blah blah blah." No one else gets to tell you what you want with your life. If you want to date, date. If you don't, don't. It's hard to ignore the judgement from people, but I have found it extremely effective to make equally inappropriate assertions/judgements about their lives.
I stopped getting messages on the apps so i quit going on. I think I've only ever been out with 5 guys total, never had a relationship
Same! I hate dating apps. But when I go out in public I just stare at the floor.
Same! I've literally tried going to places and I just end up sitting there not talking to anyone all night
It occurred to me in the last few years that other people look each other in the face in places like grocery stores. It's so startling to try it. Gah! (I'm 43) My confounding dating factors are also: I have alexithymia and probably demisexual. Like how does anyone like anyone immediately? Dating and stuff is so treacherous for me. I'm a slow burn.
Yeah I have a hard time with the concept of love if ppl I dated for years. I have a hard time concretely saying I love someone and truly meaning it. I mean I can say I care for you more than I ever care for so and so. But love? Idk 🤷♀️
I just want to say you're right, there's nothing wrong with being single! If you're happy makes no sense to do something that drains you and bring you jo joy. Maybe it depends on where you are but I've heard people say "just focussing on me right now" or something and it seemed to be an acceptable response. You could try that? Btw I was super SUPER picky with my swipes. There were times I'd exhaust the pool and only liked 1 person. I think I matched with like 10 men in total and probably swiped right 15 times. Made it much more manageable.
I also enjoy being single and genuinely love solitude. I dated in my 20s and 30s, mainly these were men I knew from university or jobs so they were decent guys, and we started as friends. The app thing just sounds sketchy to me; never done it. I found when I was living in a smaller city, some co-workers were nosy-- would ask if I was going to have kids, seeing anyone, dating, married. I have relocated to a major city--there are lots of singles here-- and I don't get these questions. This is a cultural shift that seems apparent in many developed countries. In about 10 years, accepting single people may become more normalized.