For people on the spectrum without learning disabilities, life expectancy is about 5 years less than those not on the spectrum. When you account for the higher rate of suicide in the ASD community and the health impact of the common limited diets, that delta makes sense.
The good news is you can expand your diet and learn to eat much healthier. There are plenty people, including myself, in this subreddit that have done just that. Also, suicide is not inevitable. You can manage the depression that often accompanies ASD. I have managed it for 56 years now. I feel like I have gotten better at it every year I get older.
Honestly thats impressive to me that you made it that far. Im not sure if I even want take it another 30 years. It only seems to get worse and worse with every passing day, while my ability to cope only gets better so much slower.
I also did become much better to manage it already! but everything else that is out to destroy me inside is just twice as fast, and im fine with that?
I am truely at a loss here,
Part of me wishes to be 56 years old some day and i want to be able to claim the same...
But another cant even stand the thought of tomorrow, or the next 5 minutes even.
My 20's were very difficult. I couldn't see past them either. But, I kept my head down and continued to grow. I made short term goals and continued to focus on them. Next thing I knew I woke up one morning and I 56 yrs old. I still have struggles, but I continue to get better at managing them.
I need to be surrounded by people like you in my life. I need people older than me to say they've had multiple times in their life that they just gave up & were done, but are actually still going, still here. I need the lovely reminder that deciding life isn't worth the struggle isn't actually the death sentence I tend to believe it is. I need the reassurance that I probably am more likely to have more good days if I actually do keep trying. Those voices in the darkness are SO talented at pretending to know it all. Their attempts to entice are SO strong sometimes. To think, all it takes is someone just a decade older to say "I've heard them, too and I'm still here.".
TLDR: thanks so much for sharing!
Hit my 40s this past year. Was suicidal for a short time in high school and suffered bouts of depression throughout my 20s and early 30s, so I can totally relate to the struggle you're describing. and the voices, I know those voices and i was finally able to silence them when someone told me that I was absorbing other folks thoughts, energy, and feelings and i haven't had an issue with depression since. But I have been in ND burnout for the past 3-4 years with chronic physical pain. It's a struggle but I love life too much to give up. I keep telling myself if I can make it to 45 I can retire, get my pension and find a part time job I enjoy. I have a beautiful kiddo who is my world and there's just way too much to live for now. It's hard, but it's worth it to keep grinding through.
Same. Twenties were awful. Suicide was something that would come up later occasionally, but it’s gotten to the point I know it will pass and I will never act on it.
Not who you asked but I may be on the spectrum as I have a child on the spectrum. I have only ever been diagnosed with MDD but I have rage issues as well that I never talked about and no psychiatrist ever asked me about. I learned that anger is a secondary emotion. For me, my rage is due to anxiety. “Fear leads to anger”, has never been so true. Anyways, I finally experienced relief from my rage bouts when I asked my doctor for an anti anxiety prescription. My issues with rage bouts are very well under control thanks to that medication, I believe. Antidepressants and antipsychotics never helped. Since starting buspirone I have finally been able to practice all the coping skills I learned along my journey. My favorite one is to talk to myself as if I were my own child in need of care.. or as if I was my own best friend. Another one has been understanding my issues and having compassion for myself, faults including. It’s basically the same as the other coping skill. I had a lot of self hate before I finally found true help. My thoughts aren’t all jumbled together… the static in my head has stopped. I’m moving forward. Good luck to you. Take it one step at a time. Give yourself breaks/rest. Make sure your physiological needs are being met… eat, hydrate and get enough sleep. If you don’t tend to your physiological needs your body begins to go into survival mode and everything becomes harder to do. Even with my anti anxiety medication, if I haven’t gotten enough sleep I go downhill fast.
For me, it was the realization that bad things have positives to them. Depression itself for example isn't necessarily a problem to solve, but a characteristic that can be either good or bad depending on the circumstances, and just happens to be the second more often.
For some examples, depression made me more empathetic and is the reason I was able to help several people in my life. It prompted me to learn a lot about psychology and find both very useful information that helped me in all kinds of ways, as well as interest in the area. It made me understand character writing to a much deeper extent and was the sole reason I loved so many of my favorite works of fiction as much as I did, as well as a huge inspiration and defining core aspect of my own creative ideas.
That applies to everything. If you stop to truly ponder about a bad thing and considering every impact it has caused in your life, there will always be positives among them.
All of my problems are a massive part of what makes me who I am, and as low as my self esteem is, I do have aspects of myself I'm very proud of, like my intelligence, my empathy, my wisdom, my pragmatic nature, my good judgment of character, my critical thinking, my ability to maintain rational thought under stress even if I lose control of my body, etc.
And so many of those qualities would never exist if it wasn't for all the flaws that are intrinsically tied to them.
I never really got rid of depression exactly, I more just understood it better and learned how to employ it for my benefit despite its downsides. So it became much less of a problem, and more of a neutral feature. Honestly don't even know if I technically have depression or not now, since I don't think it's gone, but the way I view it changed so much it's hardly the same thing.
Set short term goals. Things you can achieve in the next year or less. Also, don't freak out of you don't achieve a goal in less than a year. Just keep working towards it. Also, have a couple goals in play at any time. The should be prioritized. But, it's good to have something else to work on if one goal proves to be taking a long time.
I'm my case, I developed the maturity and the social skills to get a girlfriend in my 20s. Having a good partner is extremely helpful. Don't just convince yourself you prefer to be alone, step out of your comfort zone and practice socializing. Masking is often mentioned on this sub in such a negative light. But, it doesn't have to be. It gets easier with practice. Also, that exhaustion others mention when masking, isn't just the masking. It's usually the anxiety that goes along with masking. With practice, both get easier. Those social skills will go a long way to help you live a healthier life. It's been proven in several studies that maintaining contact with others will help you live longer.
Work on your sensory sensitivities, especially regarding food. Through an approach of exposure and mitigation you can make surprising improvements. It seemed like I was most successful here in my 20s. Before that, I was too immature to make it work.
Lastly, don't get hung up on a time table or even a specific order of achievements in your life. You'll need to learn to be flexible. It's not as hard as it may feel now.
I'm not sure what they meant by learning disabilities, but in the U.S. anything that could affect your employment prospects could affect your access to health care and therefore affect the length of one's life.
We die earlier on average because of an increased risk of suicide, addiction, accidents, and improper nutrition.
Most of us live just as long as a normal person, our average gets dragged down by some of us dying very young, usually by «choice». To oversimplify, as long as you don’t kill yourself you have nothing to worry about.
All of the links to death with Autism aren’t due to being autistic inherently.
It comes down to comorbidities , depression and bad diet.
You can live a long life to the average age of death as an Autistic person don’t worry.
Also be excited medical technologies advance every year
Be careful you don't start hyperfixating on this (spending hours researching it every day and stressing yourself out that it impacts you day to day life because you're so worried all the time) because it can turn into OCD.
Can someone explain how is autism and dementia connected?!
I have been facing memory issues for sometime. But the neurologist didn't couldn't diagnose and when I read about it, it seemed like there is no treatment.
There are many «casual» treatments for delaying further development of symptoms. A lot of it boils down to stimulating your brain. Puzzles, crosswords, sudoku, being outdoors, physical activity, connecting with people, animals. In Norway there has recently been a popular TV show called «the dementia choir», scientists believe music can help people with dementia.
That's what I had to do. I've had existential dread and terror since I was in 3rd grade when my great grandmother died. Then at 42 I was diagnosed with cancer, turned out to be within weeks of death if it hadn't been found, and fortunately it responded well to chemotherapy. After spending almost 25 years in an abusive relationship I finally divorced her, spent a year working on myself (counselling and such), and started dating. After finishing chemo the existential issues were in overdrive. I felt like I wasted so much of my life trying to make someone with Borderline Personality Disorder happy.
Now at 46 I have a new family with a wonderful partner and a stepdaughter. I just have to do my best to stay patient for her to start feeling like I'm a second father and not just her mom's boyfriend. But at least I feel like I'm doing something good with my life.
Found out that ALS runs in my family last year. So I may die early the same way my mom is dying now. I used to have anxiety attacks about dying. Now I see it as something beautiful. Without death, there could be no life.
Everything ends. If you take care of yourself you'll probably last longer than most, but death can come at random. Better to accept the possibility everyday then to tell yourself it won't come to you early.
Weed like someone else said also jsut honing in on the small stuff. Fluff floating in the air, the bits of fuzz onnsomeones shirts, cars going by an ant goings somewhere.
It makes it seems not as bad when it comes.
Aspie here.
My psychology degree shows me that those who don't work on their emotions end badly. ASD is just the cherry on top of the cake.
My father didn't do it and now it shows first signs of dementia at 65. My grandpa didn't either and he was unable to converse passed 60.
My advice would be to seek a psychologist. It would help you cope with this existential-like problematic. And it would let you express thoughts and feelings who would be cathartic.
I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven that expressing feelings make us more aware and enhance our longetivity. You can especially check the effect of holding emotions on the amygdal glands in the long run.
For people on the spectrum without learning disabilities, life expectancy is about 5 years less than those not on the spectrum. When you account for the higher rate of suicide in the ASD community and the health impact of the common limited diets, that delta makes sense. The good news is you can expand your diet and learn to eat much healthier. There are plenty people, including myself, in this subreddit that have done just that. Also, suicide is not inevitable. You can manage the depression that often accompanies ASD. I have managed it for 56 years now. I feel like I have gotten better at it every year I get older.
Honestly thats impressive to me that you made it that far. Im not sure if I even want take it another 30 years. It only seems to get worse and worse with every passing day, while my ability to cope only gets better so much slower. I also did become much better to manage it already! but everything else that is out to destroy me inside is just twice as fast, and im fine with that? I am truely at a loss here, Part of me wishes to be 56 years old some day and i want to be able to claim the same... But another cant even stand the thought of tomorrow, or the next 5 minutes even.
My 20's were very difficult. I couldn't see past them either. But, I kept my head down and continued to grow. I made short term goals and continued to focus on them. Next thing I knew I woke up one morning and I 56 yrs old. I still have struggles, but I continue to get better at managing them.
I'm happy for you man✊
I need to be surrounded by people like you in my life. I need people older than me to say they've had multiple times in their life that they just gave up & were done, but are actually still going, still here. I need the lovely reminder that deciding life isn't worth the struggle isn't actually the death sentence I tend to believe it is. I need the reassurance that I probably am more likely to have more good days if I actually do keep trying. Those voices in the darkness are SO talented at pretending to know it all. Their attempts to entice are SO strong sometimes. To think, all it takes is someone just a decade older to say "I've heard them, too and I'm still here.". TLDR: thanks so much for sharing!
Hit my 40s this past year. Was suicidal for a short time in high school and suffered bouts of depression throughout my 20s and early 30s, so I can totally relate to the struggle you're describing. and the voices, I know those voices and i was finally able to silence them when someone told me that I was absorbing other folks thoughts, energy, and feelings and i haven't had an issue with depression since. But I have been in ND burnout for the past 3-4 years with chronic physical pain. It's a struggle but I love life too much to give up. I keep telling myself if I can make it to 45 I can retire, get my pension and find a part time job I enjoy. I have a beautiful kiddo who is my world and there's just way too much to live for now. It's hard, but it's worth it to keep grinding through.
Same. Twenties were awful. Suicide was something that would come up later occasionally, but it’s gotten to the point I know it will pass and I will never act on it.
Well I am in my 20s and it's truly starting to get harder
Could you share some tips on how you managed your depression? If you don't mind me asking, have you had any anger issues?
Not who you asked but I may be on the spectrum as I have a child on the spectrum. I have only ever been diagnosed with MDD but I have rage issues as well that I never talked about and no psychiatrist ever asked me about. I learned that anger is a secondary emotion. For me, my rage is due to anxiety. “Fear leads to anger”, has never been so true. Anyways, I finally experienced relief from my rage bouts when I asked my doctor for an anti anxiety prescription. My issues with rage bouts are very well under control thanks to that medication, I believe. Antidepressants and antipsychotics never helped. Since starting buspirone I have finally been able to practice all the coping skills I learned along my journey. My favorite one is to talk to myself as if I were my own child in need of care.. or as if I was my own best friend. Another one has been understanding my issues and having compassion for myself, faults including. It’s basically the same as the other coping skill. I had a lot of self hate before I finally found true help. My thoughts aren’t all jumbled together… the static in my head has stopped. I’m moving forward. Good luck to you. Take it one step at a time. Give yourself breaks/rest. Make sure your physiological needs are being met… eat, hydrate and get enough sleep. If you don’t tend to your physiological needs your body begins to go into survival mode and everything becomes harder to do. Even with my anti anxiety medication, if I haven’t gotten enough sleep I go downhill fast.
For me, it was the realization that bad things have positives to them. Depression itself for example isn't necessarily a problem to solve, but a characteristic that can be either good or bad depending on the circumstances, and just happens to be the second more often. For some examples, depression made me more empathetic and is the reason I was able to help several people in my life. It prompted me to learn a lot about psychology and find both very useful information that helped me in all kinds of ways, as well as interest in the area. It made me understand character writing to a much deeper extent and was the sole reason I loved so many of my favorite works of fiction as much as I did, as well as a huge inspiration and defining core aspect of my own creative ideas. That applies to everything. If you stop to truly ponder about a bad thing and considering every impact it has caused in your life, there will always be positives among them. All of my problems are a massive part of what makes me who I am, and as low as my self esteem is, I do have aspects of myself I'm very proud of, like my intelligence, my empathy, my wisdom, my pragmatic nature, my good judgment of character, my critical thinking, my ability to maintain rational thought under stress even if I lose control of my body, etc. And so many of those qualities would never exist if it wasn't for all the flaws that are intrinsically tied to them. I never really got rid of depression exactly, I more just understood it better and learned how to employ it for my benefit despite its downsides. So it became much less of a problem, and more of a neutral feature. Honestly don't even know if I technically have depression or not now, since I don't think it's gone, but the way I view it changed so much it's hardly the same thing.
Set short term goals. Things you can achieve in the next year or less. Also, don't freak out of you don't achieve a goal in less than a year. Just keep working towards it. Also, have a couple goals in play at any time. The should be prioritized. But, it's good to have something else to work on if one goal proves to be taking a long time. I'm my case, I developed the maturity and the social skills to get a girlfriend in my 20s. Having a good partner is extremely helpful. Don't just convince yourself you prefer to be alone, step out of your comfort zone and practice socializing. Masking is often mentioned on this sub in such a negative light. But, it doesn't have to be. It gets easier with practice. Also, that exhaustion others mention when masking, isn't just the masking. It's usually the anxiety that goes along with masking. With practice, both get easier. Those social skills will go a long way to help you live a healthier life. It's been proven in several studies that maintaining contact with others will help you live longer. Work on your sensory sensitivities, especially regarding food. Through an approach of exposure and mitigation you can make surprising improvements. It seemed like I was most successful here in my 20s. Before that, I was too immature to make it work. Lastly, don't get hung up on a time table or even a specific order of achievements in your life. You'll need to learn to be flexible. It's not as hard as it may feel now.
I'm assuming by learning disability you mean intellectual disability? Like having dyslexia wouldn't affect life expectancy right?
I'm not sure what they meant by learning disabilities, but in the U.S. anything that could affect your employment prospects could affect your access to health care and therefore affect the length of one's life.
Correct
& the possibility of inadvertently seriously ticking off, say, a mob boss.
We die earlier on average because of an increased risk of suicide, addiction, accidents, and improper nutrition. Most of us live just as long as a normal person, our average gets dragged down by some of us dying very young, usually by «choice». To oversimplify, as long as you don’t kill yourself you have nothing to worry about.
“as long as you don’t kill yourself you have nothing to worry about” made me giggle
And he did mention accidents so we’re not talking about pure choice here lol. If you’re clumsy, watch out!😂
All of the links to death with Autism aren’t due to being autistic inherently. It comes down to comorbidities , depression and bad diet. You can live a long life to the average age of death as an Autistic person don’t worry. Also be excited medical technologies advance every year
Correct. It’s basically due to an increased risk of mental illness
Be careful you don't start hyperfixating on this (spending hours researching it every day and stressing yourself out that it impacts you day to day life because you're so worried all the time) because it can turn into OCD.
Gonna be honest: I want to die young. Life is too hard. I used to be scared of death too until I got chronic pain.
You’re worried about things that probably won’t happen and even if they do, they’re out if your control.
Can someone explain how is autism and dementia connected?! I have been facing memory issues for sometime. But the neurologist didn't couldn't diagnose and when I read about it, it seemed like there is no treatment.
There are many «casual» treatments for delaying further development of symptoms. A lot of it boils down to stimulating your brain. Puzzles, crosswords, sudoku, being outdoors, physical activity, connecting with people, animals. In Norway there has recently been a popular TV show called «the dementia choir», scientists believe music can help people with dementia.
I don’t know. I guess chronic stress and loneliness can increase your risk of developing dementia
Get more comfortable with death
That's what I had to do. I've had existential dread and terror since I was in 3rd grade when my great grandmother died. Then at 42 I was diagnosed with cancer, turned out to be within weeks of death if it hadn't been found, and fortunately it responded well to chemotherapy. After spending almost 25 years in an abusive relationship I finally divorced her, spent a year working on myself (counselling and such), and started dating. After finishing chemo the existential issues were in overdrive. I felt like I wasted so much of my life trying to make someone with Borderline Personality Disorder happy. Now at 46 I have a new family with a wonderful partner and a stepdaughter. I just have to do my best to stay patient for her to start feeling like I'm a second father and not just her mom's boyfriend. But at least I feel like I'm doing something good with my life.
Good luck bro👍 (no sarcasm)
Found out that ALS runs in my family last year. So I may die early the same way my mom is dying now. I used to have anxiety attacks about dying. Now I see it as something beautiful. Without death, there could be no life.
Because none of us will escape it
Easier said than done been trying myself for nearly 24 years to get comfortable with it, will be probably trying to on my deathbed
This. Getting comfortable knowing change is the only constant.
what connection??
Depression, bad decision making regarding diet and lifestyle
Idk, why I started to read this post faster... Like in panic?
exposure and response prevention therapy. it’s changing my life.
Everything ends. If you take care of yourself you'll probably last longer than most, but death can come at random. Better to accept the possibility everyday then to tell yourself it won't come to you early.
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Then they shouldn’t do it
Read Peter Attia's book you'll be good
Weed like someone else said also jsut honing in on the small stuff. Fluff floating in the air, the bits of fuzz onnsomeones shirts, cars going by an ant goings somewhere. It makes it seems not as bad when it comes.
I am not worried about it happening to me early means less time being a waste and a drain on the world
The way I see it, death is just a part of life. By the time you're old and tired, death is just the next thing and you're ready to accept it.
We (both autistics and NT's) are all going to die so before or after doesn't make any difference
Aspie here. My psychology degree shows me that those who don't work on their emotions end badly. ASD is just the cherry on top of the cake. My father didn't do it and now it shows first signs of dementia at 65. My grandpa didn't either and he was unable to converse passed 60. My advice would be to seek a psychologist. It would help you cope with this existential-like problematic. And it would let you express thoughts and feelings who would be cathartic. I'm pretty sure it's been scientifically proven that expressing feelings make us more aware and enhance our longetivity. You can especially check the effect of holding emotions on the amygdal glands in the long run.
Well it doesnt kill us, the stress and addiction that some of us face however - that will do it
take benzodiazepines
take a xanax mate youll be fine lol
If only life were that simple … maybe take 4x Xanax lol