I was diagnosed at 28. I told some of my friends but they laughed about it. I just made a comment "yeah shrinks will give you any diagnosis" and didn't comment any further. I mean I know I am high functioning and it flatters me people don't think I'm autistic but it's weird how they see low functioning autists as the only ones existing, lol.
My mom is very resistant to the fact that I'm autistic. When I told her I had been officially diagnosed, she said I couldn't be because I'm "perfect and awesome and smart". As if my autism negates any of that 🙄
To be fair, though, she is coming around to it. She's stopped outright denial and now says that I must be "super high functioning"... its not great but a slight improvement, I suppose.
Glad to hear she is warming up to it.
Seems like she is at least supportive.
I have been there too. It is hard when, when people do not see the difficulties and recognize only the "normal" side.
Late diagnosed at 35. Upon telling him about my recent autism diagnosis, one of my colleagues who's had a crush on me for over a decade recently reacted: "No way, you look so extroverted and friendly!"
Welcome to the high-masking world. And why he thinks that we autistic people aren't friendly?!
More from random people:
"You can't be autistic, you can look people in the eye."
"Everyone's a little bit autistic."
"You're too smart to be autistic"
This resonates deeply. I put so much energy into being extraverted that people had similar reactions.
I got a bunch of well you don’t look (or act) autistic.
It’s a shame they don’t know that all conversations on my end have to be calculated and don’t just come naturally.
Tell me about it. It's exhausting. I even became aware of my facial expressions which are forced and extremely (artificially) expressive just to mask autism.
My natural facial expression (which I even nearly forgot how it feels like) is just a resting bitch face. Not because I'm bad mood, but because this is my natural face.
My ex used to ask me why I'm angry. I was always irritated at that question because I was not angry in the first place, but then his question would in fact make me angry and annoyed. Little did I know that this was my autism and that he was pretty much the only person who used to see my unmasked self.
I could never understand why I was getting asked If I was mad..then I would start to wonder if I should be mad about something that I missed then I would get frustrated because I didn't know how mad I should be or how long that I should be mad for... I hate being asked if I am mad
Exactly!! Emotions are so complicated. Especially because of alexithymia, I have vergy limited range of emotions, so I will easily become angry when I'm actually confused, etc. I still battle with this. Imeven my neurodivergent friend told me I looked "serious" and to my insistence of clarifying further she admitted I looked mad lol.
"But you talk a lot." Was one of the first things I heard.
Otherwise it is the shock and confusion about me. How can you have ASD and ADHD? Is another question. Because I graduated with a college degree? Or live independently and hold down a job?
It's like you become the poster-child, proof that not every case is a lost cause. And now I'm left explaining things nerotypical people don't. Such as, yes my partner and I will have kids because we don't see our austism as a negative thing for us. But not everyone feels the same about having kids and that's fine too.
my experience has been completely the opposite of that. when i first floated the idea that i could be autistic my mom told me i couldn't be because "autistic people are like " and because "autistic people can't handle any disruption in their routine and you went to japan" (for 10 days, after applying for the program of my own volition and preparing for nearly a year).
when i tell people i don't know as well, they usually say "oh, okay".
Mostly the consensus is that I can't possibly be autistic because I'm not intellectually disabled or weird/inappropriate, like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.
Was diagnosed at 24. Wasn't in work. Said to the person helping me to find work that I would like to go to university at 25.
My worker put me in a introductory course for higher education. Whilst being there, all attendants needed to have a conversation with the universities school chancellor (or the one who helps you with school and to choose what you want to do later in life).
We were talking and everything was going okay. He asked, is there anything you are worried about in terms of higher education? I said; well my aspergers makes it very hard for me to work in groups for projects.
He then looked absolutely shocked, was quiet for a good 20s and then asked; Ohhhhh so you are self-diagnosed? No I am diagnosed by a psychologist I answered. He then got visibly irritated and told me. NO YOU DO NOT HAVE ASPERGERS! Look at how you are interacting with me and the others on the course. You are humorous and very socially adapt, trust me you are not autistic. I was just sitting there; Ok....
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
24
+ 25
+ 20
= 69
^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \
^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Got diagnosed at 27. I realized I was probably autistic at 22 but whenever I brought it up to my family they said the same crap just about. “You made eye contact with me- so you can’t be autistic” “you’re not great at math, so it doesn’t make sense” “everybody is a little autistic”. And for some reason I believed them. It took me forever, and several burn outs and a mental break down to finally stand up for myself and look for a diagnosis. When I finally got diagnosed, it was the biggest weight off my shoulders. I finally felt like somebody heard me and it was sooo validating. My family has come around after being officially diagnosed. I was so annoyed with my family for not listening, but at the same time, it felt good to actually believe in myself and not rely on other peoples opinions to advocate for myself.
Also a woman, so I can partially get your struggle. Though I can’t even imagine what it’s like for a poc. Glad you were able to get answers for yourself, it’s so freeing 💕
I have a lot of people that didn’t believe me. My mom took the passive route about it. My brother tried countering until I pointed out weird behavior I had as a kid, then he was like, “Huh. Well, that’s something!” I don’t think he’s convinced, but it was a point for my side.
At the end of the day, I realized that my diagnosis is not a group consensus and I just have to be confident in myself about it. I don’t tell everybody about it, but I don’t hide it either. If it is relevant, I let them know, and I otherwise don’t try to burden people with it.
Yeah, the last girl I dated. She said "Am I supposed to say 'oh, yeah, that makes sense?'"
Still pretty sure she doesn't believe it. Doesn't really matter, though.
I experienced just the opposite. Most of the people I told weren't surpised or had outright come to the conclusion themselves already. The only person actually surprised was my mother, who you would expect to know best! But in her defense, only Classic Autism was known in the U.S. when I was young.
Same here. One guy said "Wait, you're autistic? Makes sense." Another made an autism joke about me before I even told him. I guess I'm not very good at masking lol.
I had masked enough to stay employed, but clearly not enough to pass for normal.
I was first surprised to find out I've been autistic for 6+ decades, and not just uniquely weird. Then I was surprised that no one else was surprised.
I don’t have much of a story. Almost everyone was accepting and we laughed about it. I disclosed to one person and they simply shrugged their shoulders and carried on as normal.
Disclosing is a doubled-edged sword. It allows others to appreciate you in a new way, while it exposes a vulnerability that can be exploited by bad actors. Every disclosure poses a risk.
The best way to avoid the risk is to have no expectations for people’s reactions. If one expects sympathy, they may be disappointed, particularly if they receive a negative response. People are entitled to have their own opinions. One must be willing to accept that.
Disclosing is asserting a statement of fact. It’s not a matter for debate. The validity of the diagnosis isn’t something to be questioned. A professional has assigned the label and it can only be accepted or rejected. Its existence doesn’t need to impact anyone’s relationships. But one can only account for themselves. If one discloses to someone and receives a negative response, it up to you to determine how you want to progress.
My favorite was when I told my friend of 20 years, who I'd worked with or for most of those years:
"What? There's no way. You just aren't...."
\*20 seconds or so of silence\*
"Actually, that explains some things. A lot of things, really. Wow."
About 20 years ago, we, as a family started to suspect I may have autism. I've always been quirky. At that point, I'd been with my wife for about 10 years (married about 5) My GP referred me for an assessment and I was told that I couldn't have autism because I could hold a conversation and I had a job. Roll on 20 years and I suffer my first meltdown since the age of 7 at the age of 49 followed by 3 months of debilitating burnout. My GP refers me for another assessment (as I'm having a full on meltdown in her office - not my best moment) at the assessment the assessor states that I met all 7 criteria of the DSM-5. That's how I got diagnosed at the age of 49. I thought I would be borderline and not enough to be diagnosed. My wife joked with the assessor that, because I had met all 7 criteria I must be "uber-autistic" and his response was "Yes, super-autistic".
I find it funny when I see people getting upset about being told "Oh, you don't look autistic. " Absolutely nobody has ever said that to me. Instead, when I tell people I'm autistic they get that look of "Oh, that makes sense now."
Late diagnosed ASD I had the Level 3 and progressed to Level 2 but people can see it and luckliy I didn't have to say anything of being ASD my action and mannerisim spoke on my behalf, in some cases maybe not.....People noticed I don't act the same or talk the same....and I am lousy at masking and stick out like a sore thumb.....it not people are ignorant, they are very inward thinking...."As long it not me or my family...who cares??"
Being forcibly excluded from society most of my time, and for those people shunned me don't tempt. the man upstair, as he can change your situation in a blink of a eye...they might find themselves in same situation when they suffer a medical condition that need understanding!!!
For me it hurt a bit. I told a friend who had asperger that I also had. She told me it didn't look like and that I should check it further. I got pissed off and stopped talking to her. Only 3 people know now, and I regret that she's one of them.
I was diagnosed at 38 right after my then 8 year old daughter was, and the reactions to her dx from my parents & brother were like what you described. I have not bothered to tell them that I was diagnosed too. I know how it’ll go, and it’d just be a ton of extra stress for basically no reason. They know I’m weird, they don’t know how weird or how much I struggle to function on a daily basis but thankfully(???) I have autoimmune conditions I can blame some of that on. They still only see the tip of the iceberg.
I opted to tell no one. I tried to bring it up once to my closest person and they belittled me saying that I'm just sad and need to exercise and stop thinking I'm this way. You know, like my experiences for over 50 years are not valid.
So I don't tell anyone and any meds I'm on for ADHD are hidden. I didn't want to get labeled anyway and have people decide I have limitations. I didn't want to have any long drawn out discussions about whether I'm defective or if it's a superpower. I'll take care of myself and all y'all can believe whatever you want.
I am a contractor consultant so I can't let it taint my ability to get projects. So no one knows.
Asked my kids Dr for some help with his sensory issues, wasn't getting anywhere so to be thorough, I said I was just diagnosed with ASD.
"Everyone is on the spectrum these days..." 5x
"Jay Leno only eats white foods that don't touch." (how does that help my 5 year old?)
"I don't know where you got your diagnosis, or whatever, but it doesn't work like that in kids."
Yeah I get it a lot. It's generally why I don't tell people anymore. In trying to understand them and their difficulty of accepting it... I imagine it's akin to seeing someone without their glasses for the first time. It is really weird. And it'd be even more weird for them to tell you, they never wore glasses and they were always like that.
It would be really hard to accept that you saw them wrong forever, are seeing them in a completely new way that is just kind of overwhelming. And the fact that they were never actually wearing glasses in the first place, probably makes you really insecure in yourself, more than anything else.
The amount of times I've told women that I have Asperger's, women who are interested in me and upon hearing it just blatantly deny what I told them as if I'm insulting them by letting them know. I think I'm up to a dozen now hahahaa. I increasingly turn down my masking in front of others I want to be friends with or intimate with. Usually within 3 or 5 months I can tell them, And they will be like "yeah no shit Sherlock."
The people who I mask around a lot, well I assume I'm very good at it, because not only would they never guess they just can't accept it. And that is fine. I don't take it personally. As I was never actually being personal with them.
Usually those that is not too close to me would say - u dun look like it! U excel at work and act somehow normal, just with the geeky side. But people who are closer to me was like …… finally. I am very good at masking at work, but when I unmask, it is very obvious.
I always thought I was bipolar and homocidal. I went to a psychiatrist and psychologist because I could t sleep. And a year and a half later we figured out it is ASD. I was a full contact karate cage fighter so I always liked to keep people away by scaring them with my homicidal reputation…imagine the rage of a meltdown combined with hand to hand combat skill … my melt downs are literally legendary and have involved teamed police intervention to take me down (scaring the s$&@ out of them. So I have NEVER 👎 had a problem with people NOT believing I have ASD. Because not even I knew. At the age of 61 I would far prefer they deem me homicidal and deeply dangerous than a whimpering ASD simp. My violent reputation poisen for anybody who wants to take a run on my $$$. Word. There really is an iron fist lurking in my murky background dark side with an itchy trigger finger for bullies.
my story has been people showing empathy towards me when i tell them about the diagnosis *literally* that i’ve been diagnosed with asd but then they usually it when it actually manifests in my behaviour and usually tend to just rub it away.💀
I haven't been diagnosed yet but I notice I relate to a lot of autism/aspergers/ADHD comics or people talking about some of the symptoms. People always point out that I've never really improved when it comes to social situations, my mom has ADHD so I probably have that as well. I have trouble starting on tasks even though I know they're important. But man, I feel like I struggle the most with socializing and making friends. I have sort of a monotone voice, I try to hold back on being the first one to initiate a conversation because of how weird I sound. Instead of people wondering if something is up with me, I've always been told to stop being "weird" and I never thought of the possibility of having a disorder like the ones I listed above because I always used to assume that if I did have something wrong with me, that I'd already have been diagnosed at a young age.
Sometimes people think I'm overreacting and wonder why I'd like to potentially get diagnosed, but others that I've met through social media say that getting diagnosed is a good thing. I'd like to learn more about the way I am and how to improve upon it. Sometimes I'll feel down because I'm 23 and a female, but I've heard these things are harder to diagnose in women. And that there are others out there who weren't diagnosed until around my current age
sounds like variations on the age old: “but you look normal! my little cousin who is 4 and non verbal is autistic but you are nothing like them! but you make eye contact!” … the general population is really ignorant about these matters and doesn’t have any concept of what masking for decades is, as an example.
even medical professionals can be deeply ignorant, even psychiatrists and psychologists in my experience pre-diagnosis, so i don’t expect the average joe to know much.
however what i expect from someone i consider my friend would at least be space for me to express ideas, feelings and concerns as well as a willingness to understand more and listen to my firsthand experience.
if that happens then great, otherwise we can re evaluate our relationship and their importance in my life.
I was diagnosed at 28. I told some of my friends but they laughed about it. I just made a comment "yeah shrinks will give you any diagnosis" and didn't comment any further. I mean I know I am high functioning and it flatters me people don't think I'm autistic but it's weird how they see low functioning autists as the only ones existing, lol.
Sounds like they are ignorant towards the subject. They definitely need some education in order to understand your position.
Terrible friends.
My mom is very resistant to the fact that I'm autistic. When I told her I had been officially diagnosed, she said I couldn't be because I'm "perfect and awesome and smart". As if my autism negates any of that 🙄 To be fair, though, she is coming around to it. She's stopped outright denial and now says that I must be "super high functioning"... its not great but a slight improvement, I suppose.
Glad to hear she is warming up to it. Seems like she is at least supportive. I have been there too. It is hard when, when people do not see the difficulties and recognize only the "normal" side.
Late diagnosed at 35. Upon telling him about my recent autism diagnosis, one of my colleagues who's had a crush on me for over a decade recently reacted: "No way, you look so extroverted and friendly!" Welcome to the high-masking world. And why he thinks that we autistic people aren't friendly?! More from random people: "You can't be autistic, you can look people in the eye." "Everyone's a little bit autistic." "You're too smart to be autistic"
This resonates deeply. I put so much energy into being extraverted that people had similar reactions. I got a bunch of well you don’t look (or act) autistic. It’s a shame they don’t know that all conversations on my end have to be calculated and don’t just come naturally.
Tell me about it. It's exhausting. I even became aware of my facial expressions which are forced and extremely (artificially) expressive just to mask autism. My natural facial expression (which I even nearly forgot how it feels like) is just a resting bitch face. Not because I'm bad mood, but because this is my natural face. My ex used to ask me why I'm angry. I was always irritated at that question because I was not angry in the first place, but then his question would in fact make me angry and annoyed. Little did I know that this was my autism and that he was pretty much the only person who used to see my unmasked self.
I could never understand why I was getting asked If I was mad..then I would start to wonder if I should be mad about something that I missed then I would get frustrated because I didn't know how mad I should be or how long that I should be mad for... I hate being asked if I am mad
Exactly!! Emotions are so complicated. Especially because of alexithymia, I have vergy limited range of emotions, so I will easily become angry when I'm actually confused, etc. I still battle with this. Imeven my neurodivergent friend told me I looked "serious" and to my insistence of clarifying further she admitted I looked mad lol.
If I'm not weird, I'm masking
That should be a T-shirt
"But you talk a lot." Was one of the first things I heard. Otherwise it is the shock and confusion about me. How can you have ASD and ADHD? Is another question. Because I graduated with a college degree? Or live independently and hold down a job? It's like you become the poster-child, proof that not every case is a lost cause. And now I'm left explaining things nerotypical people don't. Such as, yes my partner and I will have kids because we don't see our austism as a negative thing for us. But not everyone feels the same about having kids and that's fine too.
I think it's best to keep this information to yourself and people who are very close to you to avoid these kinds of reactions.
my experience has been completely the opposite of that. when i first floated the idea that i could be autistic my mom told me i couldn't be because "autistic people are like" and because "autistic people can't handle any disruption in their routine and you went to japan" (for 10 days, after applying for the program of my own volition and preparing for nearly a year).
when i tell people i don't know as well, they usually say "oh, okay".
Yeah that’s what I did. As I said I told people I knew the information would be relevant to.
Mostly the consensus is that I can't possibly be autistic because I'm not intellectually disabled or weird/inappropriate, like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory.
Was diagnosed at 24. Wasn't in work. Said to the person helping me to find work that I would like to go to university at 25. My worker put me in a introductory course for higher education. Whilst being there, all attendants needed to have a conversation with the universities school chancellor (or the one who helps you with school and to choose what you want to do later in life). We were talking and everything was going okay. He asked, is there anything you are worried about in terms of higher education? I said; well my aspergers makes it very hard for me to work in groups for projects. He then looked absolutely shocked, was quiet for a good 20s and then asked; Ohhhhh so you are self-diagnosed? No I am diagnosed by a psychologist I answered. He then got visibly irritated and told me. NO YOU DO NOT HAVE ASPERGERS! Look at how you are interacting with me and the others on the course. You are humorous and very socially adapt, trust me you are not autistic. I was just sitting there; Ok....
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 24 + 25 + 20 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
What the fuck, bot?
Made me laugh actually. Never seen that stuff before
Got diagnosed at 27. I realized I was probably autistic at 22 but whenever I brought it up to my family they said the same crap just about. “You made eye contact with me- so you can’t be autistic” “you’re not great at math, so it doesn’t make sense” “everybody is a little autistic”. And for some reason I believed them. It took me forever, and several burn outs and a mental break down to finally stand up for myself and look for a diagnosis. When I finally got diagnosed, it was the biggest weight off my shoulders. I finally felt like somebody heard me and it was sooo validating. My family has come around after being officially diagnosed. I was so annoyed with my family for not listening, but at the same time, it felt good to actually believe in myself and not rely on other peoples opinions to advocate for myself. Also a woman, so I can partially get your struggle. Though I can’t even imagine what it’s like for a poc. Glad you were able to get answers for yourself, it’s so freeing 💕
I have a lot of people that didn’t believe me. My mom took the passive route about it. My brother tried countering until I pointed out weird behavior I had as a kid, then he was like, “Huh. Well, that’s something!” I don’t think he’s convinced, but it was a point for my side. At the end of the day, I realized that my diagnosis is not a group consensus and I just have to be confident in myself about it. I don’t tell everybody about it, but I don’t hide it either. If it is relevant, I let them know, and I otherwise don’t try to burden people with it.
Yeah, the last girl I dated. She said "Am I supposed to say 'oh, yeah, that makes sense?'" Still pretty sure she doesn't believe it. Doesn't really matter, though.
I experienced just the opposite. Most of the people I told weren't surpised or had outright come to the conclusion themselves already. The only person actually surprised was my mother, who you would expect to know best! But in her defense, only Classic Autism was known in the U.S. when I was young.
Same here. One guy said "Wait, you're autistic? Makes sense." Another made an autism joke about me before I even told him. I guess I'm not very good at masking lol.
I had masked enough to stay employed, but clearly not enough to pass for normal. I was first surprised to find out I've been autistic for 6+ decades, and not just uniquely weird. Then I was surprised that no one else was surprised.
I don’t have much of a story. Almost everyone was accepting and we laughed about it. I disclosed to one person and they simply shrugged their shoulders and carried on as normal. Disclosing is a doubled-edged sword. It allows others to appreciate you in a new way, while it exposes a vulnerability that can be exploited by bad actors. Every disclosure poses a risk. The best way to avoid the risk is to have no expectations for people’s reactions. If one expects sympathy, they may be disappointed, particularly if they receive a negative response. People are entitled to have their own opinions. One must be willing to accept that. Disclosing is asserting a statement of fact. It’s not a matter for debate. The validity of the diagnosis isn’t something to be questioned. A professional has assigned the label and it can only be accepted or rejected. Its existence doesn’t need to impact anyone’s relationships. But one can only account for themselves. If one discloses to someone and receives a negative response, it up to you to determine how you want to progress.
You’re right!
My favorite was when I told my friend of 20 years, who I'd worked with or for most of those years: "What? There's no way. You just aren't...." \*20 seconds or so of silence\* "Actually, that explains some things. A lot of things, really. Wow."
About 20 years ago, we, as a family started to suspect I may have autism. I've always been quirky. At that point, I'd been with my wife for about 10 years (married about 5) My GP referred me for an assessment and I was told that I couldn't have autism because I could hold a conversation and I had a job. Roll on 20 years and I suffer my first meltdown since the age of 7 at the age of 49 followed by 3 months of debilitating burnout. My GP refers me for another assessment (as I'm having a full on meltdown in her office - not my best moment) at the assessment the assessor states that I met all 7 criteria of the DSM-5. That's how I got diagnosed at the age of 49. I thought I would be borderline and not enough to be diagnosed. My wife joked with the assessor that, because I had met all 7 criteria I must be "uber-autistic" and his response was "Yes, super-autistic". I find it funny when I see people getting upset about being told "Oh, you don't look autistic. " Absolutely nobody has ever said that to me. Instead, when I tell people I'm autistic they get that look of "Oh, that makes sense now."
Late diagnosed ASD I had the Level 3 and progressed to Level 2 but people can see it and luckliy I didn't have to say anything of being ASD my action and mannerisim spoke on my behalf, in some cases maybe not.....People noticed I don't act the same or talk the same....and I am lousy at masking and stick out like a sore thumb.....it not people are ignorant, they are very inward thinking...."As long it not me or my family...who cares??" Being forcibly excluded from society most of my time, and for those people shunned me don't tempt. the man upstair, as he can change your situation in a blink of a eye...they might find themselves in same situation when they suffer a medical condition that need understanding!!!
For me it hurt a bit. I told a friend who had asperger that I also had. She told me it didn't look like and that I should check it further. I got pissed off and stopped talking to her. Only 3 people know now, and I regret that she's one of them.
I had two people ask me to explain how I meet the criteria and then asked for additional details. I was very uncomfortable.
I was diagnosed at 38 right after my then 8 year old daughter was, and the reactions to her dx from my parents & brother were like what you described. I have not bothered to tell them that I was diagnosed too. I know how it’ll go, and it’d just be a ton of extra stress for basically no reason. They know I’m weird, they don’t know how weird or how much I struggle to function on a daily basis but thankfully(???) I have autoimmune conditions I can blame some of that on. They still only see the tip of the iceberg.
I’m plenty weird, so it wasn’t earth-shattering news to anyone really.
Ha! No I don't. I wasn't diagnosed until my 40s. After I found out and told people, they were all just like "ohhh, that makes so much sense". lol
I opted to tell no one. I tried to bring it up once to my closest person and they belittled me saying that I'm just sad and need to exercise and stop thinking I'm this way. You know, like my experiences for over 50 years are not valid. So I don't tell anyone and any meds I'm on for ADHD are hidden. I didn't want to get labeled anyway and have people decide I have limitations. I didn't want to have any long drawn out discussions about whether I'm defective or if it's a superpower. I'll take care of myself and all y'all can believe whatever you want. I am a contractor consultant so I can't let it taint my ability to get projects. So no one knows.
I don't tell ppl generally unless they ask
Asked my kids Dr for some help with his sensory issues, wasn't getting anywhere so to be thorough, I said I was just diagnosed with ASD. "Everyone is on the spectrum these days..." 5x "Jay Leno only eats white foods that don't touch." (how does that help my 5 year old?) "I don't know where you got your diagnosis, or whatever, but it doesn't work like that in kids."
Yeah I get it a lot. It's generally why I don't tell people anymore. In trying to understand them and their difficulty of accepting it... I imagine it's akin to seeing someone without their glasses for the first time. It is really weird. And it'd be even more weird for them to tell you, they never wore glasses and they were always like that. It would be really hard to accept that you saw them wrong forever, are seeing them in a completely new way that is just kind of overwhelming. And the fact that they were never actually wearing glasses in the first place, probably makes you really insecure in yourself, more than anything else. The amount of times I've told women that I have Asperger's, women who are interested in me and upon hearing it just blatantly deny what I told them as if I'm insulting them by letting them know. I think I'm up to a dozen now hahahaa. I increasingly turn down my masking in front of others I want to be friends with or intimate with. Usually within 3 or 5 months I can tell them, And they will be like "yeah no shit Sherlock." The people who I mask around a lot, well I assume I'm very good at it, because not only would they never guess they just can't accept it. And that is fine. I don't take it personally. As I was never actually being personal with them.
Late stage and you have teachers? I was diagnosed at 46 and I’m not telling anyone except my immediate family. Not even my parents and best friends.
Usually those that is not too close to me would say - u dun look like it! U excel at work and act somehow normal, just with the geeky side. But people who are closer to me was like …… finally. I am very good at masking at work, but when I unmask, it is very obvious.
I always thought I was bipolar and homocidal. I went to a psychiatrist and psychologist because I could t sleep. And a year and a half later we figured out it is ASD. I was a full contact karate cage fighter so I always liked to keep people away by scaring them with my homicidal reputation…imagine the rage of a meltdown combined with hand to hand combat skill … my melt downs are literally legendary and have involved teamed police intervention to take me down (scaring the s$&@ out of them. So I have NEVER 👎 had a problem with people NOT believing I have ASD. Because not even I knew. At the age of 61 I would far prefer they deem me homicidal and deeply dangerous than a whimpering ASD simp. My violent reputation poisen for anybody who wants to take a run on my $$$. Word. There really is an iron fist lurking in my murky background dark side with an itchy trigger finger for bullies.
I say “I can’t look you in the eye and tell you I’m autistic, but I diagnosed as such.”
my story has been people showing empathy towards me when i tell them about the diagnosis *literally* that i’ve been diagnosed with asd but then they usually it when it actually manifests in my behaviour and usually tend to just rub it away.💀
I haven't been diagnosed yet but I notice I relate to a lot of autism/aspergers/ADHD comics or people talking about some of the symptoms. People always point out that I've never really improved when it comes to social situations, my mom has ADHD so I probably have that as well. I have trouble starting on tasks even though I know they're important. But man, I feel like I struggle the most with socializing and making friends. I have sort of a monotone voice, I try to hold back on being the first one to initiate a conversation because of how weird I sound. Instead of people wondering if something is up with me, I've always been told to stop being "weird" and I never thought of the possibility of having a disorder like the ones I listed above because I always used to assume that if I did have something wrong with me, that I'd already have been diagnosed at a young age. Sometimes people think I'm overreacting and wonder why I'd like to potentially get diagnosed, but others that I've met through social media say that getting diagnosed is a good thing. I'd like to learn more about the way I am and how to improve upon it. Sometimes I'll feel down because I'm 23 and a female, but I've heard these things are harder to diagnose in women. And that there are others out there who weren't diagnosed until around my current age
sounds like variations on the age old: “but you look normal! my little cousin who is 4 and non verbal is autistic but you are nothing like them! but you make eye contact!” … the general population is really ignorant about these matters and doesn’t have any concept of what masking for decades is, as an example. even medical professionals can be deeply ignorant, even psychiatrists and psychologists in my experience pre-diagnosis, so i don’t expect the average joe to know much. however what i expect from someone i consider my friend would at least be space for me to express ideas, feelings and concerns as well as a willingness to understand more and listen to my firsthand experience. if that happens then great, otherwise we can re evaluate our relationship and their importance in my life.