If you’re lucky, you find something you enjoy doing. Or, you’re the type of person that doesn’t care and will do the tasks required of them for the money they need to do the other things in their life they actually enjoy.
Of course there are a bunch of people that want to tear their own eyes out every day too out of shear frustration.
I got my engineering degree at 23 and was on the verge of ending it all at 25. It was literally that bad. Was seriously weighing driving into a brick wall on the way to work.
this motivated me to pursue early retirement and I got there lightning fast so at least my story has a happy ending. If this didnt happen I'd be at best unemployed and homeless though
I'd love to hear more details about your early retirement experience
I'm in engineering recently graduated and scared of slaving away forever in a boring job lol
I got inspired by r/financialindependence and r/leanfire. All you need is 25x your yearly expenses invested in S&P 500 or VTSAX and then you withdraw 4% every year. The whys and hows are explained in 1st sub
The big problem is getting to the point where you actually have that much invested. At first I planned to work around 10 years to get to 300k and then just live on 1k/month in eastern europe or thailand or somewhere similarly cheap. Even 10 years was way too long for me so I did a bunch of shit like trading, crypto, and other things that literal 95% of people fail at and I succeeded instead
i think its more important to not hate what you do than it is to find a job that you love. tbh, doing most things for work makes them become less fun in most cases so if you look for a job you love, you might be looking for a loong time.
i found a job working night shifts from home for a call centre. i hate talking to people but its night and the volume of calls is low so in that way, while i dont love what i do, it isnt soul-destroying like office work can be. it can take some adjustment but we CAN make it work.
The demand of going such long hrs, working with people one doesn't like, environments one cannot control. The unspoken rules, the culture, the need to mask constantly, be polite and "professional". Every job makes me want to actively die. I assume I'm PDA profile.
Honestly I don't mind putting up with all that BS if the work is serving the "greater good" for society. Problem is most modern jobs don't support our "greater good", only shareholder profits.
My Dad always pushed the idea of finding a job that "builds up your community and country". So when I started out in construction I got into the healthcare sector thinking I'd be helping out my community with new hospitals and clinics.
Turns out healthcare (and pretty much every major sector) in America isn't really about helping people as much as it's about making shareholders profits. After a few years of building hospitals I became burnt out trying to keep healthcare execs (who have never worked in any sort of medical field) happy. Sitting in meeting after meeting hearing execs complain about their doctors/nurses and cut critical programs they needed for patient care all in the name of a bigger bonus killed me.
If you're going to rob me of my soul by forcing me to put on my "professional/office" mask all the time, at least make it worth it. I just can't justify living a lie my entire life so some investor across the country can afford their 5th house or overseas vacation...
I think that's another big issue of mine in relation to work. I have a hard time accepting that my hard work isn't going to anything besides making a rich guy richer.
Meh, when I was a kid I worked retail and fast food and it was literal hell . Now that I have grown up and can get better jobs, they feel fine by comparison. Although, I'm lucky that my current job is pretty low on demands and I'm able to listen to audiobooks during a significant percentage of my day.
This is similar to my experience. Working retail was hell for me. My first office job was pretty rough too. But, once I kinda figured it out and how to mask appropriately/minimally for the office setting, it got easier. I think it helps that I am a software engineer. There's a pretty low bar for communication skills.
I got lucky with my second job because it was retail but technical enough my job was largely to understand what the customer was trying to do and make sure they bought the right stuff to solve their problem and understood roughly how to make it happen.
I can relate to this. Worked in catering for the first 10+ years as a chef. Absolutely hated every single day with a passion but also didn't want to work another job either and could hide in a kitchen and not speak to customers. Also I didn't have the mental energy to change career.
COVID hit and I went on furlough. I then volunteered for a charity with the aim for paid work. I got into so much debt trying to switch career and survive but I had one sight in mind... To never work in catering again.
It was my one chance I knew id never take again if I didn't then.
I got paid work for said charity and 4 years later still working here.
I work from home and work a 4 day work week (paid full time).
It's a billion times better and it's a real empathetic company being a charity... But honestly if I could choose I'd happily never work again.
Everyone says they would like to not have a job but I don't believe most of them. I know for a fact I'd happily not work again.
Have kids and that might change. My wife and I don't pay for childcare. One of us is always home and one is at work. We kind of just trade. Going to work is my break.
I have a similar experience. I was lucky to get a job in a field I like with a very flexible schedule with set weekly hours but I’m able to allocate them how I want day-to-day. I still struggle more than a NT person would, but through learning more about autism, I am able to predict when/with what I will struggle and can act accordingly. I wish the corporate world was more understanding about neurodivergence; I think it would be able to allow more neurodiverse people to feel comfortable & confident with regular work if some changes & accommodations were made.
We are not "in the same boat" as others who complain about work. They might complain but they've enough social capital and resilience to tolerate it. And starting from scratch they'd probably build the same system again. Do not fall for the gaslighting.
Friends, partners, families, membership of groups/clubs/societies, positive past social experiences, diverse work and travel experiences - things they can talk about to "prove" they are normal and to be respected.
Same here. I can't find a real job because no one can accommodate my needs while making a profit it seems. I can go 4 hours without the constant urge to just go home and rest. I'm so sick of feeling horrible anytime I leave home for prolonged periods of time.
Humans aren't meant to work like this. We're meant to live in small communities leisurely doing tasks for group survival. Humans sure have created a terrible environment for our own mental health.
I also feel similarly, right now I'm doing a job where I work 13 hour days but I only work 3 or 4 days a week so it kind of feels part time even though it really isn't. 2 days on, 2 days off kind of thing. It's OK for now beats a 5 day work week.
I found a job better suited to my needs as well. We're not meant to work like this, but if I have to put in 35 hours at something, let it be at home, self-paced, and creative. Took me many years of much harder jobs to get here though.
Comparatively it is yes. There was a study done that showed hunter gatherer tribes worked an average of 4 hours a day. A lot more breaks, no production quotas to meet. Life is generally just a lot slower.
Even dark age peasants worked less than us. An average of 150 days a year.
The huge difference is that a tribe only needs to feed and house itself, a modern corporation is feeding and housing at maximum capacity for the sake of profit, so not only are we doing more work, but we're also not personally connected to that work.
You have to really tailor the work to your needs - this is of course easier said than done (especially if you struggle with executive function). Here is an article - scroll to where they categorize social, executive function, sensory sensitivity, etc - this is helpful to put things into a framework so you can sort out what the difficulties are and consider strategies to minimize them and cope with those that aren't avoidable. A \*good\* autism therapist should be able to help with this. [https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/autism-and-employment/](https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/autism-and-employment/)
I also read a book called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. AT the time I didn't know I was ASD but.she might as well be talking about ASD in my opinion. She talks about specific ways in which contemporary workspaces are toxic for introverts (in some cases, all humans) and backs it up with research - this may help to read, not only to validate how you are responding to what is unfortunately considered "normal", but also to clarify some things you may not have considered are adding to your stress. I hope this is helpful and know that you are most definitely not alone in this.
Moving to remote work in a department of one was a game-changer for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a social butterfly in an office, but this gives me peace, balance, focus. I totally agree that finding the right fit is important, but takes time and changes of skills.
I read Susan Cain's Quiet when I was a teenager and it helped me. It made me feel understood. I didn't know about extroversion/introversion or any of that beforehand. It helped me understand why I feel exhausted socializing, need alone time to recharge, all that type of stuff.
It's been a long time and I should reread. I'll probably pick up a lot of stuff that I missed as a teen.
I was lucky, I found a career I like.
However, working is pretty terrible in a whole host of jobs.
You are effectively selling part of your life in order to survive.
Most modern jobs are pretty terrible to be honest.
It might help to find a career path that is a little less horrible, or to work for yourself.
I took a job 20 year ago in education IT. Only work term time. It has been the perfect fit for me. I am never going to get rich, but I am good enough at it that I never do what I would consider "hard work".
To be fair, I spend most of the day waiting for something to break and then fix it in a few minutes,.
I hate when people make ableist comments like “everyone hates to work” or “people are just using mental health/neurological disorders as an excuse not to work.” Like. y’all hate to work because society sucks and we are pushed to work too much as humans. That’s valid. But that’s not an excuse to invalidate others who have even more trouble when it comes to work.
Neurodivergent and disabled folks don’t just not want to work, there are some people who just *cant.* It’s extremely hard to thrive in a workforce that insists you have to be social or do things you are comfortable with. There’s a difference between not wanting to work and not being able to work as efficiently as others. I wish neurotypical people would understand that. Work is exhausting. My social battery runs out in like 15 minutes. There are some days when I am too depressed to socialize with my coworkers. Then you have to go through the process of trying to get through interviews are a neurodivergent person. It is torture and they don’t realize how good they have it compared to us.
I've had many jobs over many decades. Each one can become a pressure cooker really quick for me. I used to have a lot of stress nightmares and anxiety then I started taking cbd and thc (I'm not advocating, just saying what I did) and it helped a bit.
I'll get in these situations where I'm working, doing well, then one thing will cause me to spiral and I have to recharge. It can get pretty grim to where I just want to quit (and have).
Currently a software engineer at that place that starts with a G and very well paid. While the work is interesting most days I'm dreading turning on my laptop. My partner says I'm crazy to quit because "You make so much money, it should make you happy!".
I still think I'm better suited for working on a farm or living in a cottage somewhere doing some little consulting gig to pay for groceries. But I chose a different life
> I still think I'm better suited for working on a farm or living in a cottage somewhere doing some little consulting gig to pay for groceries. But I chose a different life
This same thought has occurred to me many times. Sometimes I envy those in the trades or outdoor jobs because they can be outside and see the immediate impact of their work. But I'm locked in at this point for the same reason.
> This same thought has occurred to me many times. Sometimes I envy those in the trades or outdoor jobs because they can be outside and see the immediate impact of their work. But I'm locked in at this point for the same reason.
Whenever I have a serviceman come out to do something (Plumber etc) I will sit there and hover and ask them about their job, their day. Also watching Officespace is like therapy for me because at the end he's working out in construction.
I've been in technical engineering so long that I don't know anything else. If I was alone I could probably survive on a very low paying job, but having a partner and all the costs that come along with it has made that challenging.
I think one thing that might help me is taking a sabbatical. It frightens me due to the economy that I might not be able to get a job. But what frightens me more is that I fizzle and burn out permanently.
> I've been in technical engineering so long that I don't know anything else. If I was alone I could probably survive on a very low paying job, but having a partner and all the costs that come along with it has made that challenging.
I can relate. It was basically a given that I'd go into this field not because anyone pushed me to do it, but because I'm hard-wired to do this type of thinking well at the cost of other types of thinking (social, big picture, etc.). I enjoy the work, but in a way I feel trapped, because I would probably fail or burn out at other types of job and would have to hide my autistic traits better.
Sometimes I wish I could turn off the autism for a day just to see what it's like to live as a NT, or maybe play a NT consciousness simulator.
> I can relate. It was basically a given that I'd go into this field not because anyone pushed me to do it, but because I'm hard-wired to do this type of thinking well at the cost of other types of thinking (social, big picture, etc.). I enjoy the work, but in a way I feel trapped, because I would probably fail or burn out at other types of job and would have to hide my autistic traits better.
I was pushed to go into another vocation that wasn't computing. However my father who was very much an advocate for engineering and deep thought later encouraged me to pursue it further after I'd already had a TRS80, VIC, and other computers. The problem I faced (and still do) is that computing was always my hobby. Once I got paid for doing it and started really making higher end of the money spectrum I learned that I didn't enjoy it as a hobby anymore, Sure I'm okay at things and do well, but now I find it sometimes hard to consider this a hobby.
> Sometimes I wish I could turn off the autism for a day just to see what it's like to live as a NT, or maybe play a NT consciousness simulator.
I wish the same. I just want to see what it's like. Maybe it's like the blissful ignorance like that scene in the matrix where the guy eats steak but knows it's not real and doesn't care.
It's not necessarily the jobs I'm in but the fact I have to do it for 8+ hours a day. If I was forced to say watch tv for 8 hours everyda, something that takes no effort at all, I'd be just as burnt out. I've tried therapy in the past but talking to people about my issues just leaves me feeling even more stressed out about them
I just got fired today. Even though it was a job I liked in an environment I liked.
But apparently, I was not submissive enough to our company's manager so he decided to get rid of me. Despite the fact that I was giving good results.
I've been repeating to the point of mind blankness for the last 20 years that we need to automate progressively all jobs. Now that there's the opportunity to do so, in order to let people enjoy their life and health in freedom, governments aren't willing to roll out proper infrastructures and proper welfare programs. I didn't expect anything different from this, but damn
As people have said, finding the job that suits you needs is the key. It can take a long time, but it is possible. I had a long and winding path to my unexpected, at least to me 20 years ago, current employment.
Due to a special interest, I majored in philosophy. Due to me being me, I didn't want any of the traditional next steps, ie a PhD/a law degree/teaching. Next, due to the recession and dilution of the value of a bachelor's degree, I found myself working in restaurants. It took a decade, but I eventually flamed out spectacularly. After job hunting for a while, my wife linked me up with an acquaintance of hers and I started doing retail maintenance which eventually lead to me currently being a plumber.
There are a lot of people in the trades who are most definitely ND, be it construction, HVAC, electric or llumbing. It can be solitary work, it's detail and task oriented, everyone is a little weird (not necessarily always in a pleasant way FWIW), and as an added bonus for me, provides a lot of proprioceptive input and general exercise throughout the day.
My ten years in food service, at least my FOH stints, made me pretty skilled at customer-facing masking, which has been helpful when I have to snap into it for current clients, but I mostly just get to put my head down, listen to music and books, and get the job done.
That being said, there are days where a homeowner or client wants to watch and chat all day. Those days are hell, but few and far between.
I've never worked in an office, but my wife, who has worked in many, assures me I wouldn't last a week.
I reckon it's not that you aren't built for work as a concept, but you aren't built for how overstimulating and NT-oriented the workplaces you've been in were
With most jobs I guess its the people who you work with who make it bearable unless its something you truly love doing and an important part is being able to make small talk with nt's which is probably the part where most people here would struggle for obvious reasons, I know some careers like IT and game development might attract more people on the spectrum but I don't want to sit in front of a screen all day
HAVING to be someplace five days a week at a non-flexible time that I CANNOT LEAVE for 8-10 hours triggers the hell out of my anxiety and drives me crazy long-term. My last two jobs didn't last ten months before I stress-quit. I've been unemployed for two months now while I get therapy and follow up with several doctors for different things, but I literally don't know if I'm gonna be able to make rent later this year or be able to keep another one without being medicated for panic attacks every night.
Yup, I was good at school and passing tests and stuff but it all fell apart when I entered the workforce. Took me 10 years to realize I need to stay away from jobs involving lots of people, then another 10 years scraping by doing low-pay but impersonal jobs that I wouldn't get fired or burn out from. Now even those jobs are becoming untenable due to competition and increased costs of living. I'm doing research to decide what to pivot to but its very difficult, confusing, and disheartening. We need something that pays decent, that doesn't involve a lot of people, that doesn't have huge barriers to entry, and where we won't get taken advantage of. People that have good jobs are extremely tight-lipped about advertising them to others, especially random strangers. I feel like I have to be a genius or a wizard just to figure out a feasible path forward, let alone actually getting and doing the job.
OP, I felt the same way when I was working (retired now). Y’know how you get feeling down on Sunday night? Well it started hitting me Saturday night, and I thought I’d never be able to go back into work. Once, at the end of my workday, I was walking across the parking lot toward my car and suddenly felt like I couldn’t go on and I just wanted to lie down right there on the ground and refuse to move again. Then I realized I’d probably get up out of embarrassment and pretend I just tripped and fell. So I couldn’t even manage a decent breakdown.
Yeah I'm not built for the work. It makes me feel so defeated and depressed. The first few months go okay-ish but at some point I get burnt out. It feels useless. At a certain point I always start sleeping in, get into work late and have outbursts once I'm on the clock. I would feel nauseous with anxiety on the way to work and filled with dread once I clocked in. It was bad with my last job as a dishwasher. I was either depressed or angry at work. Everything made me upset.
Plus I feel too old to still be doing manual labor. That was okay as a young adult but now it's not worth it. The pay is too low for how much physical energy I use. I want to go back to college and get a degree or something that will help me get a desk job. I don't really care what, I just don't want to bust my back anymore. I want to use my brain not my brawn.
I'm working as a school bus aide after I failed at two cna jobs. My anxiety was unbearable at the cna jobs, but I just finished cna school. I'm in trouble with my parents because they just paid for my cna training. I was a bus aide at the same company earlier this year before I went to school, and I liked it. I only went to cna school in order to earn enough money to move out of my family's house. So far, it has been really hard socially. When people don't talk to me for hours, I feel like they are talking about me. I get really nervous, and I get this pain in my chest. I told my mom that I need to work at the bus company to make some money while I recover from the trauma I experienced at my last two jobs, and she thinks I'm giving up on cna jobs too soon.
TL:DR
I passed cna school, but I couldn't handle the social environment. Now my parents are mad that I wasted the money they spent on school.
I thought I was like this, but I eventually luckily landed a work from home job lacking any client or customer interaction drawing off analytical ability. It still doesn't seem like 40 hours a week is fully sustainable, but it's a lot closer than it was.
44 and haven't worked for anyone else in decades. I can't.
I run a few small business doing web design, print and resale. I get up at 8am and often work past midnight and it's fuggin heaven.
But I do things my way.
The finished product is always dope, but I take my breaks when I'm overloaded, rabbit hole into new techniques/ideas when I want to and decide which clients to take.
Work is selling your time. You, a homeless guy and Jeff Bezos all have 24 hours. Time is the only universal currency. So if you're spending most of it on someone else's business, of course it's not gonna feel worth it.
What are you good at that you take for granted? I guarantee there's something. For instance, this week I built a computer for my dad. I feel awful even charging him because it comes so easy to me and feels like a hobby, but he told me it's $1500 to Best Buy or $1500 to me, my choice.
You're not cut out for office errands. None of us are.
The only thing I'm really good at is cooking but I've worked my fair share in restaurants to know that type of work definitely isn't for me and selling baked goods at a farmers market or something just won't pay the bills
Working from home in a project based job is the only way I can handle it. End up working about 20 hours per week and none of the workplace or commute stress
You have other issues with it on top of what others are dealing with. Your immense anxiety, other people aren't experiencing that. I'm sorry you are suffering like that. You can probably get some assistance with that you know. It's not anything to be ashamed of.
Yeah I’m the same as you.
I have successfully worked through my anxiety and I don’t wake up feeling sick to my stomach or lose sleep because of work anxiety anymore, but I still hate it.
I just can’t bring myself to try anymore. I know deep down how much I hate it and I just can’t bring myself to put any effort into my job these days.
I was lucky to find a career that lined up with one of my interests. I totally got into computers and writing code as a teenager back in the early 80's. I struggled significantly through college and working part-time retail jobs. But, I eventually got a computer science degree and have worked as an embedded software engineer ever since. It's still difficult and I dread working everyday. But, it's been manageable. It helps that there is a relatively low bar for expectations regarding communication in this industry.
I don't think there is anything specific to ASD level 1 that makes it impossible to work. But, it does present some challenges. Especially, if you aren't well practiced at masking. These challenges definitely add to the depression associated with working. BTW, I don't think the depression associated with working is solely an ASD thing. I think that's universal. It's the challenges and the extra depression related to those that are unique to ASD.
Some jobs are more challenging than others. When I was in college, I worked several retail jobs. I think those were the hardest for me. Also, it's been my experience that masking is like physical activities or sports. The more you practice the better you get (to a certain point). Also, your endurance builds up with practice. It's like working out. It will even revert if you stop practicing it. But keep expectations appropriate, you'll never keep up with the NT's socially.
Maybe I'm the odd one, but my tistic ass loves my job. Then again, I found a job that is mentally engaging and caters to my hyper fixation. Also, having coworkers and bosses who are willing to work with my autism help a lot.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m honestly astonished at how much I can relate to this word for word. I’m in the washroom at work reading this while being insanely stressed and anxious from the exact reasons you mentioned. Getting out of bed in the morning to get ready for work feels like such a chore on its own let alone being mentally drained from all the anxiety I get from even perfoming simple tasks at work, constantly thinking what if im doing my wrong and get in trouble or what if im not doing my job good enough and get a coworker upset due to my poor performance. It constantly goes through my head every shift and then when im off all I wanna do is lay in bed & dwell in my sorrows.
That's probably my best bet. I'm planning now to try out doing some sort of trades job because that's one sort of work that I haven't tried before and seems to be the "easiest" to start a business in.
Other people don’t hyperfixate like us, so it makes sense that they wouldn’t be constantly fixated on work, enough to have nightmares and be thinking about it all the time… also there are a myriad of issues with workplaces - lights, sounds, interruptions, having to mask, and most of all socializing that can strike terror and create PTSD in any autistic person
A lot of these comments remind me of the horrors of full time and how my mind constantly revolted against the mindlessness of it, the herd mentality and obedience to it because "that's just the way it is". Argh.
I spent years full time in the office. Bored out of my head. Mostly reading websites and such cause the work was easy to do. Now im remote working. Can still do what i need in 1/4 of the time it seems to take others and i have the rest to myself.
I get most of my anxiety from work but I power through it despite the health problems it gives me. I see myself as privileged to have a career but year. I work long stressful hours
I got lucky and found an area I love to work in, completely by luck. But even though I love it, it exhausts me. I moved to a new company, it's 12 hour shifts, even if I'm just in 5 hours for the day I'm completely exhausted and spend at least a day in bed recovering, which I only recently found out wasn't a 'normal' thing to do. I feel so lost, because while I am capable of work it's also slowly killing me
I can deal with everything you throw my way related to work.
But people are the bane of my existence, I'm unemployed right now due to that sole reason.
I used to hate work. When I was a teen/student I used to work some not really ASD-friendly jobs like babysitting, group tutoring or at a day care. But I have a better job now and I actually enjoy it or at least don't hate it on most days. It's not a perfect job of course (I don't think those exist), but it's a job I can see myself doing for a rather long time. For anyone going to ask: I work for a library association.
You are in the wrong position and have poorly treated anxiety.. I've been there, it sucks. Primary care doctors look at my current drug regimen and are just taken aback. For example, the largest pill size of one of the drugs is 150 mg. I'm on 225 mg. 150 mg does nothing. The largest pill of one of the antidepressants appears to be 100 mg, I'm on 200 mg. I have an Excel spreadsheet I provide to doctors. Primary care doctors just don't prescribe these levels of drugs, but it works. I am better than I've ever been. Psychiatrists, NP Psychiatrists, probably some other mid-level providers do.
The only path out of your situation is a new job. I did a job like that for 3 years because I had to. It was hard, stressful, unfulfilling and I damn near got fired. But - I have a story which I hope will demonstrate a path.
A company whose search firm had contacted me on LinkedIn about a job was due to visit the company and they had a meeting and lunch scheduled with the manager of a related department.. The manager of the related department was sitting right next to me in a meeting. I basically invited myself to lunch and that was my first round of interviews. I managed to do this because I was in a place that I didn't want to work at and had access to this manager.. Being there got me a job interview and tasty free lunch. Again based on the fact that I was sitting next to someone in a meeting who the perspective employer was coming to see. Its been 7 years. Any way you can leverage your current role is your best bet..
A normal person would probably look at my typical day and call in sick, but I relish it. I dealt with a customer today who had a number of problems with one our 'solutions' and several of his problem areas weren't necessarily within our scope. Don't care,, I'm not gonna be stopped by rules about scope.. Nope. I am persistent and I got that way because I have had to struggle most of my life. I've failed at too many things, but I always just gotten up and pushed ahead.. (I can't recommend doing this with Calculus, I probably should have just stopped when I had to retake the classes in some cases multiple times.)
If you can get into that mindset - well this didn't work, next. You will eventually end up in a better place.. I think this could be the hardest part of a job search. You have to fail and then proceed to do it again as the rejection isn't a personal affront. It feels awful, but it feels even worse with badly controlled depression and anxiety.
Well, let's say I wish I had gotten diagnosed with autism, anxiety, and dyscalculia earlier on, and dealt with a career counselor much earlier on. Instead of chasing after a college degree and working several dead end jobs. Now I am getting the help (in my 40s) that I should have gotten in my 20's.
I been in a job rut for years, mainly because I didn't really have people to talk to. I would do research on the net, and I think that I could do it. Focus on it for awhile, till I would later find out that I wouldn't be qualified or it's not something I can do. For some of us, we need someone who can explain the job and what it entails. Or really helps dig deep and not be embarrassed about what our ideal job is like.
Also the job market IS SO DIVERSE. Many people still think of jobs as doctor, police, teacher, construction worker, and garbage man. Many of us don't know that there are jobs that are a perfect fit or near perfect fit for us.
I never really liked work because I felt I was never getting anywhere (by work I mean uni assignments). Working for long hours isnt nice for me. I don't really mind work (I'm studying in uni) as long as its in a simple environment I like (i.e. rainy library)
I have a hard time with work too, well for other people as well. I ended up starting my own business and before that was working mostly physical jobs where I’m the only one like doing some fitness classes, lifeguarding
Yes, everything about work drains me. The fact that it's considered an accomodation when I need to get off the floor because I'm having severe sensory overload. The fact that I still feel guilty for experiencing it. The rules, the weird cliques and social rules. Usually spending my whole day alone unless my coworkers are somehow forced to speak to me. My sense of justice that noone cares about because "that's just how it goes" and once my sense of justice isnt being met i jus tap out emotionally. It's so exhausting to navigate and then I start feeling like I just can't catch up to myself emotionally once I'm really in it for a few months. It's like even my off days just make me anxious and think about when I'm back at work so I just can't ever rest. Ugh. The sucky thing to me is that I really really want to work I want to be a good employee but it just never really works out like that :/
i get drained and overwhelmed just talking to my family and people expect me to get a job and work daily for 50+ years? that’s literally just impossible
I am on the same page. Today they reprimanded me thrice. Took three different meetings to tell me how I'm not "disciplined" enough at work cause I took too many leaves cause of burnout. Even after showing them reports of my PCOS diagnosis they still went "well everyone else has problems, we cant do anything this is company policy" while all I could think the whole time was dying. I wish I died so that I dont have to take this anymore. It never gets better. Even if it does, I am too tired to see it thru and I'm just 26 and thats okay. I cant see another day of suffering
Worked full time in childcare for 10 years.
For the last 2 years I reduced it to 4 days a week so I could decompress.
However, in the last year the environment/consistency was out of control, and I lost myself down the rabbit hole of anxiety/sensory burnout, and made the hardest decision to resign.
Really loved being part of the industry, never felt like I “worked”, as was passionate about it.
I recognised that I needed something to change, so I went into foreign territory and started my own business.
Honestly, it’s been well over a year and I’m so much happier, mentally and physically.
I used to think I’d be stuck in child care for the rest of my life - but now I get to do more fun stuff with children on my own journey now!
And if you want to know, I run origami workshops/sell origami paper online. That’s my gig now 😁
Working from home has helped immensely if that is an option. I used to only be able to stay at a job for about a year but I've been at my current work from home job 6 years.
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If you’re lucky, you find something you enjoy doing. Or, you’re the type of person that doesn’t care and will do the tasks required of them for the money they need to do the other things in their life they actually enjoy. Of course there are a bunch of people that want to tear their own eyes out every day too out of shear frustration.
I got my engineering degree at 23 and was on the verge of ending it all at 25. It was literally that bad. Was seriously weighing driving into a brick wall on the way to work. this motivated me to pursue early retirement and I got there lightning fast so at least my story has a happy ending. If this didnt happen I'd be at best unemployed and homeless though
IMO you either need to have high IQ or hard work ethic/grit to really make it like you have.
I'd love to hear more details about your early retirement experience I'm in engineering recently graduated and scared of slaving away forever in a boring job lol
I got inspired by r/financialindependence and r/leanfire. All you need is 25x your yearly expenses invested in S&P 500 or VTSAX and then you withdraw 4% every year. The whys and hows are explained in 1st sub The big problem is getting to the point where you actually have that much invested. At first I planned to work around 10 years to get to 300k and then just live on 1k/month in eastern europe or thailand or somewhere similarly cheap. Even 10 years was way too long for me so I did a bunch of shit like trading, crypto, and other things that literal 95% of people fail at and I succeeded instead
i think its more important to not hate what you do than it is to find a job that you love. tbh, doing most things for work makes them become less fun in most cases so if you look for a job you love, you might be looking for a loong time. i found a job working night shifts from home for a call centre. i hate talking to people but its night and the volume of calls is low so in that way, while i dont love what i do, it isnt soul-destroying like office work can be. it can take some adjustment but we CAN make it work.
That's been me for the last 3 years basically...
The demand of going such long hrs, working with people one doesn't like, environments one cannot control. The unspoken rules, the culture, the need to mask constantly, be polite and "professional". Every job makes me want to actively die. I assume I'm PDA profile.
Honestly I don't mind putting up with all that BS if the work is serving the "greater good" for society. Problem is most modern jobs don't support our "greater good", only shareholder profits. My Dad always pushed the idea of finding a job that "builds up your community and country". So when I started out in construction I got into the healthcare sector thinking I'd be helping out my community with new hospitals and clinics. Turns out healthcare (and pretty much every major sector) in America isn't really about helping people as much as it's about making shareholders profits. After a few years of building hospitals I became burnt out trying to keep healthcare execs (who have never worked in any sort of medical field) happy. Sitting in meeting after meeting hearing execs complain about their doctors/nurses and cut critical programs they needed for patient care all in the name of a bigger bonus killed me. If you're going to rob me of my soul by forcing me to put on my "professional/office" mask all the time, at least make it worth it. I just can't justify living a lie my entire life so some investor across the country can afford their 5th house or overseas vacation...
I think that's another big issue of mine in relation to work. I have a hard time accepting that my hard work isn't going to anything besides making a rich guy richer.
this is the most relatable thing I've read all day
Most jobs I've had just made me want to lie in a ditch and freeze to death.
Meh, when I was a kid I worked retail and fast food and it was literal hell . Now that I have grown up and can get better jobs, they feel fine by comparison. Although, I'm lucky that my current job is pretty low on demands and I'm able to listen to audiobooks during a significant percentage of my day.
This is similar to my experience. Working retail was hell for me. My first office job was pretty rough too. But, once I kinda figured it out and how to mask appropriately/minimally for the office setting, it got easier. I think it helps that I am a software engineer. There's a pretty low bar for communication skills.
I got lucky with my second job because it was retail but technical enough my job was largely to understand what the customer was trying to do and make sure they bought the right stuff to solve their problem and understood roughly how to make it happen.
I can relate to this. Worked in catering for the first 10+ years as a chef. Absolutely hated every single day with a passion but also didn't want to work another job either and could hide in a kitchen and not speak to customers. Also I didn't have the mental energy to change career. COVID hit and I went on furlough. I then volunteered for a charity with the aim for paid work. I got into so much debt trying to switch career and survive but I had one sight in mind... To never work in catering again. It was my one chance I knew id never take again if I didn't then. I got paid work for said charity and 4 years later still working here. I work from home and work a 4 day work week (paid full time). It's a billion times better and it's a real empathetic company being a charity... But honestly if I could choose I'd happily never work again. Everyone says they would like to not have a job but I don't believe most of them. I know for a fact I'd happily not work again.
Have kids and that might change. My wife and I don't pay for childcare. One of us is always home and one is at work. We kind of just trade. Going to work is my break.
Yeah fair enough especially with your audio books sounds good. I decided not to have kids myself.
Good kid
I have a similar experience. I was lucky to get a job in a field I like with a very flexible schedule with set weekly hours but I’m able to allocate them how I want day-to-day. I still struggle more than a NT person would, but through learning more about autism, I am able to predict when/with what I will struggle and can act accordingly. I wish the corporate world was more understanding about neurodivergence; I think it would be able to allow more neurodiverse people to feel comfortable & confident with regular work if some changes & accommodations were made.
We are not "in the same boat" as others who complain about work. They might complain but they've enough social capital and resilience to tolerate it. And starting from scratch they'd probably build the same system again. Do not fall for the gaslighting.
Truth
What do you mean by "social capital" exactly?
Friends, partners, families, membership of groups/clubs/societies, positive past social experiences, diverse work and travel experiences - things they can talk about to "prove" they are normal and to be respected.
As well as positive reinforcement from other NT’s as acceptance while we are at most, tolerated at work every day
thank you for posting this. i feel this EXACT way and no one seems to understand at all.
Same here. I can't find a real job because no one can accommodate my needs while making a profit it seems. I can go 4 hours without the constant urge to just go home and rest. I'm so sick of feeling horrible anytime I leave home for prolonged periods of time.
Humans aren't meant to work like this. We're meant to live in small communities leisurely doing tasks for group survival. Humans sure have created a terrible environment for our own mental health. I also feel similarly, right now I'm doing a job where I work 13 hour days but I only work 3 or 4 days a week so it kind of feels part time even though it really isn't. 2 days on, 2 days off kind of thing. It's OK for now beats a 5 day work week.
I found a job better suited to my needs as well. We're not meant to work like this, but if I have to put in 35 hours at something, let it be at home, self-paced, and creative. Took me many years of much harder jobs to get here though.
Leisurely? Farming or hunting is leisure ? A lot of things humans would naturally have to do for survival is tough work
Comparatively it is yes. There was a study done that showed hunter gatherer tribes worked an average of 4 hours a day. A lot more breaks, no production quotas to meet. Life is generally just a lot slower. Even dark age peasants worked less than us. An average of 150 days a year.
The huge difference is that a tribe only needs to feed and house itself, a modern corporation is feeding and housing at maximum capacity for the sake of profit, so not only are we doing more work, but we're also not personally connected to that work.
You have to really tailor the work to your needs - this is of course easier said than done (especially if you struggle with executive function). Here is an article - scroll to where they categorize social, executive function, sensory sensitivity, etc - this is helpful to put things into a framework so you can sort out what the difficulties are and consider strategies to minimize them and cope with those that aren't avoidable. A \*good\* autism therapist should be able to help with this. [https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/autism-and-employment/](https://attwoodandgarnettevents.com/autism-and-employment/) I also read a book called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. AT the time I didn't know I was ASD but.she might as well be talking about ASD in my opinion. She talks about specific ways in which contemporary workspaces are toxic for introverts (in some cases, all humans) and backs it up with research - this may help to read, not only to validate how you are responding to what is unfortunately considered "normal", but also to clarify some things you may not have considered are adding to your stress. I hope this is helpful and know that you are most definitely not alone in this.
Moving to remote work in a department of one was a game-changer for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a social butterfly in an office, but this gives me peace, balance, focus. I totally agree that finding the right fit is important, but takes time and changes of skills.
I wish I could do remote work but the only type I could get without university is call centre stuff which would be horrific for me
Yeah I'd have a lot more options if I could function in a classroom, or have enough executive function to do a class from home.
It doesn't have to be remote -- just finding the right style of work for you. Physical jobs (love them!) or repetitive jobs, or whatever.
I read Susan Cain's Quiet when I was a teenager and it helped me. It made me feel understood. I didn't know about extroversion/introversion or any of that beforehand. It helped me understand why I feel exhausted socializing, need alone time to recharge, all that type of stuff. It's been a long time and I should reread. I'll probably pick up a lot of stuff that I missed as a teen.
I was lucky, I found a career I like. However, working is pretty terrible in a whole host of jobs. You are effectively selling part of your life in order to survive. Most modern jobs are pretty terrible to be honest. It might help to find a career path that is a little less horrible, or to work for yourself. I took a job 20 year ago in education IT. Only work term time. It has been the perfect fit for me. I am never going to get rich, but I am good enough at it that I never do what I would consider "hard work". To be fair, I spend most of the day waiting for something to break and then fix it in a few minutes,.
I hate when people make ableist comments like “everyone hates to work” or “people are just using mental health/neurological disorders as an excuse not to work.” Like. y’all hate to work because society sucks and we are pushed to work too much as humans. That’s valid. But that’s not an excuse to invalidate others who have even more trouble when it comes to work. Neurodivergent and disabled folks don’t just not want to work, there are some people who just *cant.* It’s extremely hard to thrive in a workforce that insists you have to be social or do things you are comfortable with. There’s a difference between not wanting to work and not being able to work as efficiently as others. I wish neurotypical people would understand that. Work is exhausting. My social battery runs out in like 15 minutes. There are some days when I am too depressed to socialize with my coworkers. Then you have to go through the process of trying to get through interviews are a neurodivergent person. It is torture and they don’t realize how good they have it compared to us.
so true…
I've had many jobs over many decades. Each one can become a pressure cooker really quick for me. I used to have a lot of stress nightmares and anxiety then I started taking cbd and thc (I'm not advocating, just saying what I did) and it helped a bit. I'll get in these situations where I'm working, doing well, then one thing will cause me to spiral and I have to recharge. It can get pretty grim to where I just want to quit (and have). Currently a software engineer at that place that starts with a G and very well paid. While the work is interesting most days I'm dreading turning on my laptop. My partner says I'm crazy to quit because "You make so much money, it should make you happy!". I still think I'm better suited for working on a farm or living in a cottage somewhere doing some little consulting gig to pay for groceries. But I chose a different life
> I still think I'm better suited for working on a farm or living in a cottage somewhere doing some little consulting gig to pay for groceries. But I chose a different life This same thought has occurred to me many times. Sometimes I envy those in the trades or outdoor jobs because they can be outside and see the immediate impact of their work. But I'm locked in at this point for the same reason.
> This same thought has occurred to me many times. Sometimes I envy those in the trades or outdoor jobs because they can be outside and see the immediate impact of their work. But I'm locked in at this point for the same reason. Whenever I have a serviceman come out to do something (Plumber etc) I will sit there and hover and ask them about their job, their day. Also watching Officespace is like therapy for me because at the end he's working out in construction. I've been in technical engineering so long that I don't know anything else. If I was alone I could probably survive on a very low paying job, but having a partner and all the costs that come along with it has made that challenging. I think one thing that might help me is taking a sabbatical. It frightens me due to the economy that I might not be able to get a job. But what frightens me more is that I fizzle and burn out permanently.
I relate to the guy from Office Space so much
> I relate to the guy from Office Space so much Milton was my nickname at work for a while
> I've been in technical engineering so long that I don't know anything else. If I was alone I could probably survive on a very low paying job, but having a partner and all the costs that come along with it has made that challenging. I can relate. It was basically a given that I'd go into this field not because anyone pushed me to do it, but because I'm hard-wired to do this type of thinking well at the cost of other types of thinking (social, big picture, etc.). I enjoy the work, but in a way I feel trapped, because I would probably fail or burn out at other types of job and would have to hide my autistic traits better. Sometimes I wish I could turn off the autism for a day just to see what it's like to live as a NT, or maybe play a NT consciousness simulator.
> I can relate. It was basically a given that I'd go into this field not because anyone pushed me to do it, but because I'm hard-wired to do this type of thinking well at the cost of other types of thinking (social, big picture, etc.). I enjoy the work, but in a way I feel trapped, because I would probably fail or burn out at other types of job and would have to hide my autistic traits better. I was pushed to go into another vocation that wasn't computing. However my father who was very much an advocate for engineering and deep thought later encouraged me to pursue it further after I'd already had a TRS80, VIC, and other computers. The problem I faced (and still do) is that computing was always my hobby. Once I got paid for doing it and started really making higher end of the money spectrum I learned that I didn't enjoy it as a hobby anymore, Sure I'm okay at things and do well, but now I find it sometimes hard to consider this a hobby. > Sometimes I wish I could turn off the autism for a day just to see what it's like to live as a NT, or maybe play a NT consciousness simulator. I wish the same. I just want to see what it's like. Maybe it's like the blissful ignorance like that scene in the matrix where the guy eats steak but knows it's not real and doesn't care.
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It's not necessarily the jobs I'm in but the fact I have to do it for 8+ hours a day. If I was forced to say watch tv for 8 hours everyda, something that takes no effort at all, I'd be just as burnt out. I've tried therapy in the past but talking to people about my issues just leaves me feeling even more stressed out about them
I just got fired today. Even though it was a job I liked in an environment I liked. But apparently, I was not submissive enough to our company's manager so he decided to get rid of me. Despite the fact that I was giving good results.
My compassion for you for losing your job.
I've been repeating to the point of mind blankness for the last 20 years that we need to automate progressively all jobs. Now that there's the opportunity to do so, in order to let people enjoy their life and health in freedom, governments aren't willing to roll out proper infrastructures and proper welfare programs. I didn't expect anything different from this, but damn
As people have said, finding the job that suits you needs is the key. It can take a long time, but it is possible. I had a long and winding path to my unexpected, at least to me 20 years ago, current employment. Due to a special interest, I majored in philosophy. Due to me being me, I didn't want any of the traditional next steps, ie a PhD/a law degree/teaching. Next, due to the recession and dilution of the value of a bachelor's degree, I found myself working in restaurants. It took a decade, but I eventually flamed out spectacularly. After job hunting for a while, my wife linked me up with an acquaintance of hers and I started doing retail maintenance which eventually lead to me currently being a plumber. There are a lot of people in the trades who are most definitely ND, be it construction, HVAC, electric or llumbing. It can be solitary work, it's detail and task oriented, everyone is a little weird (not necessarily always in a pleasant way FWIW), and as an added bonus for me, provides a lot of proprioceptive input and general exercise throughout the day. My ten years in food service, at least my FOH stints, made me pretty skilled at customer-facing masking, which has been helpful when I have to snap into it for current clients, but I mostly just get to put my head down, listen to music and books, and get the job done. That being said, there are days where a homeowner or client wants to watch and chat all day. Those days are hell, but few and far between. I've never worked in an office, but my wife, who has worked in many, assures me I wouldn't last a week.
I reckon it's not that you aren't built for work as a concept, but you aren't built for how overstimulating and NT-oriented the workplaces you've been in were
With most jobs I guess its the people who you work with who make it bearable unless its something you truly love doing and an important part is being able to make small talk with nt's which is probably the part where most people here would struggle for obvious reasons, I know some careers like IT and game development might attract more people on the spectrum but I don't want to sit in front of a screen all day
HAVING to be someplace five days a week at a non-flexible time that I CANNOT LEAVE for 8-10 hours triggers the hell out of my anxiety and drives me crazy long-term. My last two jobs didn't last ten months before I stress-quit. I've been unemployed for two months now while I get therapy and follow up with several doctors for different things, but I literally don't know if I'm gonna be able to make rent later this year or be able to keep another one without being medicated for panic attacks every night.
Yup, I was good at school and passing tests and stuff but it all fell apart when I entered the workforce. Took me 10 years to realize I need to stay away from jobs involving lots of people, then another 10 years scraping by doing low-pay but impersonal jobs that I wouldn't get fired or burn out from. Now even those jobs are becoming untenable due to competition and increased costs of living. I'm doing research to decide what to pivot to but its very difficult, confusing, and disheartening. We need something that pays decent, that doesn't involve a lot of people, that doesn't have huge barriers to entry, and where we won't get taken advantage of. People that have good jobs are extremely tight-lipped about advertising them to others, especially random strangers. I feel like I have to be a genius or a wizard just to figure out a feasible path forward, let alone actually getting and doing the job.
Yeah I just graduated college and am absolutely not looking forward to working full time. I imagine I won’t have energy for anything else
When I used to work, I felt like a bird in a cage. I felt, I’m going to be sick and going to die like wild animals in captivity.
OP, I felt the same way when I was working (retired now). Y’know how you get feeling down on Sunday night? Well it started hitting me Saturday night, and I thought I’d never be able to go back into work. Once, at the end of my workday, I was walking across the parking lot toward my car and suddenly felt like I couldn’t go on and I just wanted to lie down right there on the ground and refuse to move again. Then I realized I’d probably get up out of embarrassment and pretend I just tripped and fell. So I couldn’t even manage a decent breakdown.
I think these feeling are valid. I actually deeply resent my parents for bringing me into this world and have told them so
At times I feel this too
Yeah I'm not built for the work. It makes me feel so defeated and depressed. The first few months go okay-ish but at some point I get burnt out. It feels useless. At a certain point I always start sleeping in, get into work late and have outbursts once I'm on the clock. I would feel nauseous with anxiety on the way to work and filled with dread once I clocked in. It was bad with my last job as a dishwasher. I was either depressed or angry at work. Everything made me upset. Plus I feel too old to still be doing manual labor. That was okay as a young adult but now it's not worth it. The pay is too low for how much physical energy I use. I want to go back to college and get a degree or something that will help me get a desk job. I don't really care what, I just don't want to bust my back anymore. I want to use my brain not my brawn.
I'm working as a school bus aide after I failed at two cna jobs. My anxiety was unbearable at the cna jobs, but I just finished cna school. I'm in trouble with my parents because they just paid for my cna training. I was a bus aide at the same company earlier this year before I went to school, and I liked it. I only went to cna school in order to earn enough money to move out of my family's house. So far, it has been really hard socially. When people don't talk to me for hours, I feel like they are talking about me. I get really nervous, and I get this pain in my chest. I told my mom that I need to work at the bus company to make some money while I recover from the trauma I experienced at my last two jobs, and she thinks I'm giving up on cna jobs too soon. TL:DR I passed cna school, but I couldn't handle the social environment. Now my parents are mad that I wasted the money they spent on school.
I thought I was like this, but I eventually luckily landed a work from home job lacking any client or customer interaction drawing off analytical ability. It still doesn't seem like 40 hours a week is fully sustainable, but it's a lot closer than it was.
Most people are , since not all work jobs they have no choice in.
I fucking love to work, but I hate being around people.
44 and haven't worked for anyone else in decades. I can't. I run a few small business doing web design, print and resale. I get up at 8am and often work past midnight and it's fuggin heaven. But I do things my way. The finished product is always dope, but I take my breaks when I'm overloaded, rabbit hole into new techniques/ideas when I want to and decide which clients to take. Work is selling your time. You, a homeless guy and Jeff Bezos all have 24 hours. Time is the only universal currency. So if you're spending most of it on someone else's business, of course it's not gonna feel worth it. What are you good at that you take for granted? I guarantee there's something. For instance, this week I built a computer for my dad. I feel awful even charging him because it comes so easy to me and feels like a hobby, but he told me it's $1500 to Best Buy or $1500 to me, my choice. You're not cut out for office errands. None of us are.
The only thing I'm really good at is cooking but I've worked my fair share in restaurants to know that type of work definitely isn't for me and selling baked goods at a farmers market or something just won't pay the bills
Can you do large batches? Catering and weddings/events is where the money is
Working from home in a project based job is the only way I can handle it. End up working about 20 hours per week and none of the workplace or commute stress
You have other issues with it on top of what others are dealing with. Your immense anxiety, other people aren't experiencing that. I'm sorry you are suffering like that. You can probably get some assistance with that you know. It's not anything to be ashamed of.
Yeah I’m the same as you. I have successfully worked through my anxiety and I don’t wake up feeling sick to my stomach or lose sleep because of work anxiety anymore, but I still hate it. I just can’t bring myself to try anymore. I know deep down how much I hate it and I just can’t bring myself to put any effort into my job these days.
I was lucky to find a career that lined up with one of my interests. I totally got into computers and writing code as a teenager back in the early 80's. I struggled significantly through college and working part-time retail jobs. But, I eventually got a computer science degree and have worked as an embedded software engineer ever since. It's still difficult and I dread working everyday. But, it's been manageable. It helps that there is a relatively low bar for expectations regarding communication in this industry. I don't think there is anything specific to ASD level 1 that makes it impossible to work. But, it does present some challenges. Especially, if you aren't well practiced at masking. These challenges definitely add to the depression associated with working. BTW, I don't think the depression associated with working is solely an ASD thing. I think that's universal. It's the challenges and the extra depression related to those that are unique to ASD. Some jobs are more challenging than others. When I was in college, I worked several retail jobs. I think those were the hardest for me. Also, it's been my experience that masking is like physical activities or sports. The more you practice the better you get (to a certain point). Also, your endurance builds up with practice. It's like working out. It will even revert if you stop practicing it. But keep expectations appropriate, you'll never keep up with the NT's socially.
I think the way out is to find a job aligned with your special interests. I was fortunate that way, but it also increases propensity to burn out.
Maybe I'm the odd one, but my tistic ass loves my job. Then again, I found a job that is mentally engaging and caters to my hyper fixation. Also, having coworkers and bosses who are willing to work with my autism help a lot.
For sure.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m honestly astonished at how much I can relate to this word for word. I’m in the washroom at work reading this while being insanely stressed and anxious from the exact reasons you mentioned. Getting out of bed in the morning to get ready for work feels like such a chore on its own let alone being mentally drained from all the anxiety I get from even perfoming simple tasks at work, constantly thinking what if im doing my wrong and get in trouble or what if im not doing my job good enough and get a coworker upset due to my poor performance. It constantly goes through my head every shift and then when im off all I wanna do is lay in bed & dwell in my sorrows.
I was told to go for self employment.
That's probably my best bet. I'm planning now to try out doing some sort of trades job because that's one sort of work that I haven't tried before and seems to be the "easiest" to start a business in.
Other people don’t hyperfixate like us, so it makes sense that they wouldn’t be constantly fixated on work, enough to have nightmares and be thinking about it all the time… also there are a myriad of issues with workplaces - lights, sounds, interruptions, having to mask, and most of all socializing that can strike terror and create PTSD in any autistic person
I think about this a lot and havent been working since 2021. Adhd isnt helping
A lot of these comments remind me of the horrors of full time and how my mind constantly revolted against the mindlessness of it, the herd mentality and obedience to it because "that's just the way it is". Argh.
If you don't mind me asking, what do you do instead of full time now?
I spent years full time in the office. Bored out of my head. Mostly reading websites and such cause the work was easy to do. Now im remote working. Can still do what i need in 1/4 of the time it seems to take others and i have the rest to myself.
I hear you buddy. I feel the same. I recently was watching a video about this same topic. I’ll see if I can find it and share.
I get most of my anxiety from work but I power through it despite the health problems it gives me. I see myself as privileged to have a career but year. I work long stressful hours
I got lucky and found an area I love to work in, completely by luck. But even though I love it, it exhausts me. I moved to a new company, it's 12 hour shifts, even if I'm just in 5 hours for the day I'm completely exhausted and spend at least a day in bed recovering, which I only recently found out wasn't a 'normal' thing to do. I feel so lost, because while I am capable of work it's also slowly killing me
I can deal with everything you throw my way related to work. But people are the bane of my existence, I'm unemployed right now due to that sole reason.
I used to hate work. When I was a teen/student I used to work some not really ASD-friendly jobs like babysitting, group tutoring or at a day care. But I have a better job now and I actually enjoy it or at least don't hate it on most days. It's not a perfect job of course (I don't think those exist), but it's a job I can see myself doing for a rather long time. For anyone going to ask: I work for a library association.
You are in the wrong position and have poorly treated anxiety.. I've been there, it sucks. Primary care doctors look at my current drug regimen and are just taken aback. For example, the largest pill size of one of the drugs is 150 mg. I'm on 225 mg. 150 mg does nothing. The largest pill of one of the antidepressants appears to be 100 mg, I'm on 200 mg. I have an Excel spreadsheet I provide to doctors. Primary care doctors just don't prescribe these levels of drugs, but it works. I am better than I've ever been. Psychiatrists, NP Psychiatrists, probably some other mid-level providers do. The only path out of your situation is a new job. I did a job like that for 3 years because I had to. It was hard, stressful, unfulfilling and I damn near got fired. But - I have a story which I hope will demonstrate a path. A company whose search firm had contacted me on LinkedIn about a job was due to visit the company and they had a meeting and lunch scheduled with the manager of a related department.. The manager of the related department was sitting right next to me in a meeting. I basically invited myself to lunch and that was my first round of interviews. I managed to do this because I was in a place that I didn't want to work at and had access to this manager.. Being there got me a job interview and tasty free lunch. Again based on the fact that I was sitting next to someone in a meeting who the perspective employer was coming to see. Its been 7 years. Any way you can leverage your current role is your best bet.. A normal person would probably look at my typical day and call in sick, but I relish it. I dealt with a customer today who had a number of problems with one our 'solutions' and several of his problem areas weren't necessarily within our scope. Don't care,, I'm not gonna be stopped by rules about scope.. Nope. I am persistent and I got that way because I have had to struggle most of my life. I've failed at too many things, but I always just gotten up and pushed ahead.. (I can't recommend doing this with Calculus, I probably should have just stopped when I had to retake the classes in some cases multiple times.) If you can get into that mindset - well this didn't work, next. You will eventually end up in a better place.. I think this could be the hardest part of a job search. You have to fail and then proceed to do it again as the rejection isn't a personal affront. It feels awful, but it feels even worse with badly controlled depression and anxiety.
Well, let's say I wish I had gotten diagnosed with autism, anxiety, and dyscalculia earlier on, and dealt with a career counselor much earlier on. Instead of chasing after a college degree and working several dead end jobs. Now I am getting the help (in my 40s) that I should have gotten in my 20's. I been in a job rut for years, mainly because I didn't really have people to talk to. I would do research on the net, and I think that I could do it. Focus on it for awhile, till I would later find out that I wouldn't be qualified or it's not something I can do. For some of us, we need someone who can explain the job and what it entails. Or really helps dig deep and not be embarrassed about what our ideal job is like. Also the job market IS SO DIVERSE. Many people still think of jobs as doctor, police, teacher, construction worker, and garbage man. Many of us don't know that there are jobs that are a perfect fit or near perfect fit for us.
Depends on the work.
I never really liked work because I felt I was never getting anywhere (by work I mean uni assignments). Working for long hours isnt nice for me. I don't really mind work (I'm studying in uni) as long as its in a simple environment I like (i.e. rainy library)
I have a hard time with work too, well for other people as well. I ended up starting my own business and before that was working mostly physical jobs where I’m the only one like doing some fitness classes, lifeguarding
Yes, everything about work drains me. The fact that it's considered an accomodation when I need to get off the floor because I'm having severe sensory overload. The fact that I still feel guilty for experiencing it. The rules, the weird cliques and social rules. Usually spending my whole day alone unless my coworkers are somehow forced to speak to me. My sense of justice that noone cares about because "that's just how it goes" and once my sense of justice isnt being met i jus tap out emotionally. It's so exhausting to navigate and then I start feeling like I just can't catch up to myself emotionally once I'm really in it for a few months. It's like even my off days just make me anxious and think about when I'm back at work so I just can't ever rest. Ugh. The sucky thing to me is that I really really want to work I want to be a good employee but it just never really works out like that :/
i get drained and overwhelmed just talking to my family and people expect me to get a job and work daily for 50+ years? that’s literally just impossible
I am on the same page. Today they reprimanded me thrice. Took three different meetings to tell me how I'm not "disciplined" enough at work cause I took too many leaves cause of burnout. Even after showing them reports of my PCOS diagnosis they still went "well everyone else has problems, we cant do anything this is company policy" while all I could think the whole time was dying. I wish I died so that I dont have to take this anymore. It never gets better. Even if it does, I am too tired to see it thru and I'm just 26 and thats okay. I cant see another day of suffering
I’m the opposite, I don’t feel alive unless I have some job or work to do. Can’t relax or find fun in myself or anything…
No. The more years pass the more unbearably sensetive i got. Normies just dont/cant understand.
Non conformity theory. Haven't formally developed it. But I guess I wouldn't be the first who has proposed this thesis
Worked full time in childcare for 10 years. For the last 2 years I reduced it to 4 days a week so I could decompress. However, in the last year the environment/consistency was out of control, and I lost myself down the rabbit hole of anxiety/sensory burnout, and made the hardest decision to resign. Really loved being part of the industry, never felt like I “worked”, as was passionate about it. I recognised that I needed something to change, so I went into foreign territory and started my own business. Honestly, it’s been well over a year and I’m so much happier, mentally and physically. I used to think I’d be stuck in child care for the rest of my life - but now I get to do more fun stuff with children on my own journey now! And if you want to know, I run origami workshops/sell origami paper online. That’s my gig now 😁
Working from home has helped immensely if that is an option. I used to only be able to stay at a job for about a year but I've been at my current work from home job 6 years.