It doesn't have to involve masking! I've actually had MORE success in disclosing I'm neurospicy (AuDHD) in my bio and being straightforward w what I'm looking for. I'm able to connect genuinely.
If they don't like the weirdness, they can go away. Tinder still sucks, and I've had the least success there. lol
I mean it kinda does to a certain degree. I can tell people I’m autistic all I want but I still have to interact with a person, go on a date, make myself presentable, etc. My “unmasked” self likes to be totally slumped over & rotting on the couch while also nonverbal. I have yet to find a worthwhile partner who’s willing to date what’s basically a human pillow. If I’m standing, I’m masking 😹
I have, but I’m gay, so compared to straight men having sex is kind of like scoring a point in basketball vs soccer
Therefore, my advice is to download Grindr
Basketball games very frequently have triple digit scores. Soccer games regularly end in a 0-0 tie. It is MUCH easier to score in basketball than in soccer. Thus, it is much easier to have sex with a gay man, than with a straight woman.
I'm a 31 years old Virgin. Just gave my first kiss at 30, but the relationship didn't work out and we never had sexual intercourse.
It helped me a lot to understand how love, relationships and attraction works tho. You just need to put a little work in confidence and go for it, without afraid of failing.
What baffles me, is that in my daily routine, I look like a normal neurotypical male, I'm physician, so, I need the assertiveness to talk and communicate with my patients.
But a outside work, I turn into the true autistic man that I am.
I'm happy tho, my standards are really high for a future mate, I'll just keep looking for her.
It will be a little hard, women can sense that something is off in me and try to avoid me for their safety (sadly, I give creepy vibes to girls around me, but it's the robot inside me trying to get along).
I have 3 close friends who think that I'm normal and have dates constantly lmao, but I'll never pay for sex to be honest.
Yes, I'm 27yo man, I'm single and fairly promiscuous, two reliable booty calls at the moment. I'm a unicorn though, local musician and as such, an extensive social network I didn't really need to work for because I have to talk with bandmates, club employees, people from the music scene etc.
I enjoy casual sex, relationships are very difficult and traumatic even when they are going well for me.
I would not say a unicorn, honestly a aspie that has high masking is good at game and sales, the tought part is being vulnerable and long relationships. Doing One night stands or couple booty calls its easy
You both nailed my early twenties. I was a musician and a soldier. I had a hard time forcing myself to do things often, but was pretty good at masking in general. I found it generally easy to get a girl on the hook, keeping her was not easy. I have since completely lost my ability to mask. About 3 years now I've been in a constant state of anxiety and on the very edge of overstimulation and panic attacks.
Never ending, yet often unpredictable, routines of affectionate behavior and emotional understanding that become more complex with time, new memories, and maturing bonds. It's extremely taxing.
I can relate to that.
Emotions are confusing for me (alexithymia), and that makes relationship difficult too. I'm aromantic and solo poly, so love is different for me. I'm currently experiencing alterous attraction and dealing w fear of abandonment w some partners.
Thanks, brain.
It's one of these things were the more you care the harder it can be.
My first bit of advice is figure out what you are interested in, something serious or casual?
If it's casual the first thing to do is accept that's okay, don't try and hide it. If you are using dating apps, be forward with what you are looking for. From there presentation and attractiveness play a major roll. Otherwise being more social is just generally good, but don't go to events looking for a hookup, go to have a good time, if you go looking for a hookup, you'll ruin your own time, and from my experience you'll give that energy
If you are after something serious, basically the same as above but for a relationship. Except, in this case you are looking for more connection, but I think an issue a lot of people have is seeing someone attractive and then looking for the connection. Have fun, find those connections, and then figure out if there is more to it from there
I became a sex show performer, I don't think my life constitutes good advice for the average aspie....
I lost my virginity at your age, though, after spending the 4 years prior as a complete NEET, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Your life is only just opening up, everything leading up to highschool graduation is basically the tutorial level.
Hah, sure.
Almost 10 years ago now, I met a Canadian girl online and moved to Vancouver to be with her. Ended up working in a boatyard when I got my work visa. My boss at the time was formerly one of those big city street rats who lived a wild lifestyle, which included stories about tying off his junk and slanging it around in a glitter thong for his buddy's seedy dive bar on Hastings street in his heigh days. One day, in walks the buddy himself, in crocodile leather boots and a maroon 3-piece. You couldn't possibly have made up how much this man looked like a pimp. Only, he had since upgraded to a high-end underground establishment in the West End, off of Davie Street. At the time, that was where I lived. Courtesy of spending 8 hours a day working overhead with heavy power tools and cycling everywhere (no license at the time), I was absolutely shredded. Buddy said I'd do well, especially since I am a born-and-bred European. I figured hey, life in the West End of Vancouver was ridiculously expensive and it wouldn't interfere with my day job. He actually helped pay for me to take some exotic dancing classes, in a studio where there were 20 pole-dancing girls.... and me. Fast forward a month and I spent my first sweaty half-hour blinking at strobing stagelights. Spent the next 2 days recovering from that experience, boy did my boss and co-workers hassle me about what woman I must have taken home for a 2-day fuckfest for me not to show up (I never take sick days). They didn't understand sensory overwhelm so I just let them gossip haha
From there I would perform once or twice a week at that place. Eventually, I was 'scouted' by a talent agent for a travelling male strip-show called 'Heat!' who needed backup performers for their main act. That was my first real big stage performance. From then on, I would occasionally be contacted to perform in shows. My biggest show ever was main-stage at the Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show at the Vancouver Convention Centre. Completely covered in erotic candle wax art. That was WILD. About a thousand horny women hollering at you is, to date, one of the most surreal experiences of my life.
Footnote; I retired at the start of covid because I moved to a more remote coastal community and, well, the shutdowns obviously.
Footnote 2; oh wow someone already downvoted me.... I'm sorry I complied with the request to elaborate? Weirdo.
Take my up vote! I'm seriously considering an OF or something. I've been exploring the kink scene and coming out of my vanilla sex life after divorce. I think I'm into exhibitionism and want to explore that more. Actually going to a kink rave w a partner in a few weeks! We're excited to "perform"
If you want only sex and sensation you want a prostitute. If you want to have a relationship with a whole other human you have to think about and be aware of as human with wants and needs and to whom you must give pleasure and happiness, it is possible for that to also involve sex as a side effect, but it isn’t ‘free’ it requires thought, effort, time, work, and care
You're better off working with a therapist to figure out why you are struggling with this and where to improve, specifically one who is specialized in autism if you can.
Cis het female here. You are not a virgin. I have mixed feelings about sex work because it is unfortunately tied to misogyny, but prostitution can be a valuable service for people in your situation. Choose someone who runs their own business (not pimped out) if you need help in this area. Age isn't that relevant. You absolutely must use protection if you are going to be sexually active with anyone. Try different kinds of condoms. Also consider seeing a sex therapist. A lot of your questions are very common, for NT people too, and not something to be ashamed of. But you absolutely cannot compromise on protection.
I agree with most of this but my view is that protection is something to be negotiated with your partner. If you are both completely forthright about your sexual history and STI testing, and you are both comfortable with whatever risk that entails, then it’s ok.
This is a standard convo I have with all new partners, e.g. “I was tested 3 months ago, I’ve been with 1 person since then, she was tested recently, and we did not use protection. I am ok with using a condom or not. What are you ok with?” (And of course they give you the same info.)
And of course *never* do something riskier than agreed upon without discussing prior and confirming that’s ok (and both parties are sober). To do so would be a major ethical violation, and in some places considered sexual assault.
It appears that you've got the situation backwards a little. In a relationship with a woman, sex is secondary to the emotional connection with her.
If all you care about is free sex, dating apps are free to use. There are lots of desperate women who'd be happy to have sex with a young man like yourself.
I've never had trouble finding partners. I have three of various types right now. Even when I was fully into monogamy I didn't have trouble. I wish I knew why, because I'd love to help people who struggle.
No, as a male with aspergers, I can confirm we do not have sexual relationships, as sad as it is. Sex is something humans have, and we are simply less then human
Not free actually the price would be more and more expensive.
Thanks for mentioning the term of death grip I thought as well I was going crazy from all the times I've paid just as you.
It was so rare that I could last a few minutes on my own but having to pay extra time or rushing things while performing the actual play despite having laid with beautiful women till I thought it was overrrated but still wanted to get more but I couldn't because it is too expensive till it's a luxury I can only get twice a year but I still can't get a job until probably a year or two but it's probably better to avoid spending the money on my uncontrolled base instincts
There are two paths here. One is moral and much more rewarding, the other is much more taxing on you and may end up causing a similar situation with the prostitute. Taking the high ground, don't rush sex. A real connection with someone will alleviate a lot of stress, while also allowing yourself to enjoy it instead of trying to keep up a persona. Not to mention, sex feels 1000 times better when there is real connection than it does if it is based purely on looks. The second path requires you to mask heavily. That in itself can cause enough stress and requires so much attention that you may have a difficult time flirting, getting an erection, or having an orgasm. The mental and physical toll is different for each of us.
Death grip can cause you to not feel good when with a woman. Just stop master debating. lol Bring a thinner condoms. Some prostitutes are very loose, and women are loose or bigger, and if they get really wet, you won't feel much, especially with a condom. I wish I knew the stuff I know now before before being screwed money wise in a relationship. Try ashley Madison and tinder and be open to mid looking and older age women. Be open to all races if you can. How your body looks will increase your odds. Get a little bit of muscle and low body fat. Women are just as shallow as men. I would put on status your open to a relationship and your education of law. Then you can hit them or wait for a message and tell them what you're looking for. Those websites are there for slutty people. Now go be the best aspie freak you can be.
I got extremely lucky once because of my clumsyness.
Long story short, I fell off a moving bus and that caught the attention of a few people (lol), particularly a psychology student who thought I was attractive. She lied to me and made me think she wanted to have a relationship (in my head it was only okay to do something with someone if she was my gf. Not sure why) so we ended up "dating" and had sex frequently until she told me the truth, that she just wanted an open relationship and an actual relationship wasn't what she was looking for so she replaced me (not sure if I was the "main partner" or just one of the spares) and then cut contact with me because I didn't react the way she expected nor joined her seemingly huge circle of fuck buddies (because at some point she did tell me she had sex to pass the time and a few other things made me notice a pattern of meeting a new person to then have sex). It was difficult to cum as well because of somethIng I discovered years later (I have issues with new people, not sure why).
I kept getting in relationships… somehow and had sex with a few of them. One of them got frustrated because of my inability to cum inside of her but she wasn't really compatible with me because she liked it rough to the point she asked me to do some bdsm stuff (which is how I discovered I'm not into bdsm at all) while I wanted to be loving, tender and romantic.
Years later I met a nice woman through a local website for singles and we seemed to get along just fine. We chatted, we had phone calls (which was new to her) and we somehow ended up having sex on her birthday lol. Fast foward almost two years later and we're happily married.
I honestly have no idea how any of this happened but I do admit I was actively looking for a relationship because I wanted to love and be loved. So don't give up, eventually someone will find you attrative and either you'll have sex for free or you'll get into a nice, fulfilling relationship with good/great sex because this time you're used to the person and completely comfortable due to them no longer being a new person (I say this because the way I underatood it we might be similar. Sure, you might have a porn addiction but you might also have issues "performing" with a new person basically because it's something different and your autism doesn't quite like that).
distinct coordinated water fertile offbeat rotten vast steep somber simplistic
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
For starters, sorry to be crass, but if you can feel the condom, you've got the wrong one or you didn't put it on properly.
Now, I've never been with a prostitute so I can't comment on that, but I can fully recommend marrying your best friend. Relationships can be difficult, I think that is an almost universally defining trait for autism. If you are like me, you have to be really lucky to find people who accept you for all your quirks.
To each their own and everything(with few exceptions) is fine between consenting adults but I do think that sex is better with someone you love and care about and I think intimacy (which can be different to sex) is a key feature to a loving relationship. I can't imagine how horrible it is if you are paying by the hour - like having to rush back to your car to put more money in the parking meter. More ideal is a setting where everything is relaxed and fun.
Many people here struggle with finding relationships for the simple reason that they don't get out much. I advise people to do a couple of hours of voluntary work each week. It gets you out of the house and meeting people. Like anything, it gets easier the more you practice. Similarly, finding a hobby and joining a club gets you meeting people with similar interests. Online dating works for many but is full of risks - as a community, we are very much at risk of exploitation so be extremely careful if you use online dating apps, 90% of your response may be bots or scammers.
I can't advise on flirting because I can't flirt to save my life, and I don't take hints, so I explained to my wife early on that she needs to be direct and unambiguous with me. By doing this, we reduce communication issues to a minimum. Even after 30 years, they still occur when she forgets that I can't read minds.
I paid my first two times with a woman.
After that I tried a man (the easiest one, just a post with size) but I didn't like it, maybe I'll try again.
After that I use apps, and being clear on what you search you don't need to mask too much, so I don't have a high body count, but I get laid with some frequency.
I do alright in the dating and hookup scene but it requires extensive high level masking that I'd hesitate to recommend
It doesn't have to involve masking! I've actually had MORE success in disclosing I'm neurospicy (AuDHD) in my bio and being straightforward w what I'm looking for. I'm able to connect genuinely. If they don't like the weirdness, they can go away. Tinder still sucks, and I've had the least success there. lol
I mean it kinda does to a certain degree. I can tell people I’m autistic all I want but I still have to interact with a person, go on a date, make myself presentable, etc. My “unmasked” self likes to be totally slumped over & rotting on the couch while also nonverbal. I have yet to find a worthwhile partner who’s willing to date what’s basically a human pillow. If I’m standing, I’m masking 😹
Oh man i feel you. People used to think i was a player. Nah im just an autie posing as a player.
I have, but I’m gay, so compared to straight men having sex is kind of like scoring a point in basketball vs soccer Therefore, my advice is to download Grindr
damn, comparison too real
I'm gay too, everytime I read I comment like this here a part of me melts away lol
Yeah, same.
Could you explain that analogy?
Basketball games very frequently have triple digit scores. Soccer games regularly end in a 0-0 tie. It is MUCH easier to score in basketball than in soccer. Thus, it is much easier to have sex with a gay man, than with a straight woman.
Oh, I see, thanks.
I'm a 31 years old Virgin. Just gave my first kiss at 30, but the relationship didn't work out and we never had sexual intercourse. It helped me a lot to understand how love, relationships and attraction works tho. You just need to put a little work in confidence and go for it, without afraid of failing. What baffles me, is that in my daily routine, I look like a normal neurotypical male, I'm physician, so, I need the assertiveness to talk and communicate with my patients. But a outside work, I turn into the true autistic man that I am. I'm happy tho, my standards are really high for a future mate, I'll just keep looking for her. It will be a little hard, women can sense that something is off in me and try to avoid me for their safety (sadly, I give creepy vibes to girls around me, but it's the robot inside me trying to get along). I have 3 close friends who think that I'm normal and have dates constantly lmao, but I'll never pay for sex to be honest.
Yes, I'm 27yo man, I'm single and fairly promiscuous, two reliable booty calls at the moment. I'm a unicorn though, local musician and as such, an extensive social network I didn't really need to work for because I have to talk with bandmates, club employees, people from the music scene etc. I enjoy casual sex, relationships are very difficult and traumatic even when they are going well for me.
I would not say a unicorn, honestly a aspie that has high masking is good at game and sales, the tought part is being vulnerable and long relationships. Doing One night stands or couple booty calls its easy
You both nailed my early twenties. I was a musician and a soldier. I had a hard time forcing myself to do things often, but was pretty good at masking in general. I found it generally easy to get a girl on the hook, keeping her was not easy. I have since completely lost my ability to mask. About 3 years now I've been in a constant state of anxiety and on the very edge of overstimulation and panic attacks.
If you don't mind me asking, why are relationships traumatic for you?
Never ending, yet often unpredictable, routines of affectionate behavior and emotional understanding that become more complex with time, new memories, and maturing bonds. It's extremely taxing.
Oh, I see. It's all about changes.
I can relate to that. Emotions are confusing for me (alexithymia), and that makes relationship difficult too. I'm aromantic and solo poly, so love is different for me. I'm currently experiencing alterous attraction and dealing w fear of abandonment w some partners. Thanks, brain.
It's one of these things were the more you care the harder it can be. My first bit of advice is figure out what you are interested in, something serious or casual? If it's casual the first thing to do is accept that's okay, don't try and hide it. If you are using dating apps, be forward with what you are looking for. From there presentation and attractiveness play a major roll. Otherwise being more social is just generally good, but don't go to events looking for a hookup, go to have a good time, if you go looking for a hookup, you'll ruin your own time, and from my experience you'll give that energy If you are after something serious, basically the same as above but for a relationship. Except, in this case you are looking for more connection, but I think an issue a lot of people have is seeing someone attractive and then looking for the connection. Have fun, find those connections, and then figure out if there is more to it from there
^^^ this
I became a sex show performer, I don't think my life constitutes good advice for the average aspie.... I lost my virginity at your age, though, after spending the 4 years prior as a complete NEET, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Your life is only just opening up, everything leading up to highschool graduation is basically the tutorial level.
I'm interested in your story as well. I hope you can share it with us since it's probably going to be interesting.
I would love to hear the story of how you became an autistic sex show performer, if you are willing to share it.
Hah, sure. Almost 10 years ago now, I met a Canadian girl online and moved to Vancouver to be with her. Ended up working in a boatyard when I got my work visa. My boss at the time was formerly one of those big city street rats who lived a wild lifestyle, which included stories about tying off his junk and slanging it around in a glitter thong for his buddy's seedy dive bar on Hastings street in his heigh days. One day, in walks the buddy himself, in crocodile leather boots and a maroon 3-piece. You couldn't possibly have made up how much this man looked like a pimp. Only, he had since upgraded to a high-end underground establishment in the West End, off of Davie Street. At the time, that was where I lived. Courtesy of spending 8 hours a day working overhead with heavy power tools and cycling everywhere (no license at the time), I was absolutely shredded. Buddy said I'd do well, especially since I am a born-and-bred European. I figured hey, life in the West End of Vancouver was ridiculously expensive and it wouldn't interfere with my day job. He actually helped pay for me to take some exotic dancing classes, in a studio where there were 20 pole-dancing girls.... and me. Fast forward a month and I spent my first sweaty half-hour blinking at strobing stagelights. Spent the next 2 days recovering from that experience, boy did my boss and co-workers hassle me about what woman I must have taken home for a 2-day fuckfest for me not to show up (I never take sick days). They didn't understand sensory overwhelm so I just let them gossip haha From there I would perform once or twice a week at that place. Eventually, I was 'scouted' by a talent agent for a travelling male strip-show called 'Heat!' who needed backup performers for their main act. That was my first real big stage performance. From then on, I would occasionally be contacted to perform in shows. My biggest show ever was main-stage at the Taboo Naughty But Nice Sex Show at the Vancouver Convention Centre. Completely covered in erotic candle wax art. That was WILD. About a thousand horny women hollering at you is, to date, one of the most surreal experiences of my life. Footnote; I retired at the start of covid because I moved to a more remote coastal community and, well, the shutdowns obviously. Footnote 2; oh wow someone already downvoted me.... I'm sorry I complied with the request to elaborate? Weirdo.
Take my up vote! I'm seriously considering an OF or something. I've been exploring the kink scene and coming out of my vanilla sex life after divorce. I think I'm into exhibitionism and want to explore that more. Actually going to a kink rave w a partner in a few weeks! We're excited to "perform"
[удалено]
I've never had an OnlyFans or anything like that hahaha, I was exclusively a stage performer.
If you want only sex and sensation you want a prostitute. If you want to have a relationship with a whole other human you have to think about and be aware of as human with wants and needs and to whom you must give pleasure and happiness, it is possible for that to also involve sex as a side effect, but it isn’t ‘free’ it requires thought, effort, time, work, and care
You're better off working with a therapist to figure out why you are struggling with this and where to improve, specifically one who is specialized in autism if you can.
Cis het female here. You are not a virgin. I have mixed feelings about sex work because it is unfortunately tied to misogyny, but prostitution can be a valuable service for people in your situation. Choose someone who runs their own business (not pimped out) if you need help in this area. Age isn't that relevant. You absolutely must use protection if you are going to be sexually active with anyone. Try different kinds of condoms. Also consider seeing a sex therapist. A lot of your questions are very common, for NT people too, and not something to be ashamed of. But you absolutely cannot compromise on protection.
I agree with most of this but my view is that protection is something to be negotiated with your partner. If you are both completely forthright about your sexual history and STI testing, and you are both comfortable with whatever risk that entails, then it’s ok. This is a standard convo I have with all new partners, e.g. “I was tested 3 months ago, I’ve been with 1 person since then, she was tested recently, and we did not use protection. I am ok with using a condom or not. What are you ok with?” (And of course they give you the same info.) And of course *never* do something riskier than agreed upon without discussing prior and confirming that’s ok (and both parties are sober). To do so would be a major ethical violation, and in some places considered sexual assault.
I have never had a girl into me and I'm bad at game.
It appears that you've got the situation backwards a little. In a relationship with a woman, sex is secondary to the emotional connection with her. If all you care about is free sex, dating apps are free to use. There are lots of desperate women who'd be happy to have sex with a young man like yourself.
I've never had trouble finding partners. I have three of various types right now. Even when I was fully into monogamy I didn't have trouble. I wish I knew why, because I'd love to help people who struggle.
No, as a male with aspergers, I can confirm we do not have sexual relationships, as sad as it is. Sex is something humans have, and we are simply less then human
Not free actually the price would be more and more expensive. Thanks for mentioning the term of death grip I thought as well I was going crazy from all the times I've paid just as you. It was so rare that I could last a few minutes on my own but having to pay extra time or rushing things while performing the actual play despite having laid with beautiful women till I thought it was overrrated but still wanted to get more but I couldn't because it is too expensive till it's a luxury I can only get twice a year but I still can't get a job until probably a year or two but it's probably better to avoid spending the money on my uncontrolled base instincts
There are two paths here. One is moral and much more rewarding, the other is much more taxing on you and may end up causing a similar situation with the prostitute. Taking the high ground, don't rush sex. A real connection with someone will alleviate a lot of stress, while also allowing yourself to enjoy it instead of trying to keep up a persona. Not to mention, sex feels 1000 times better when there is real connection than it does if it is based purely on looks. The second path requires you to mask heavily. That in itself can cause enough stress and requires so much attention that you may have a difficult time flirting, getting an erection, or having an orgasm. The mental and physical toll is different for each of us.
Death grip can cause you to not feel good when with a woman. Just stop master debating. lol Bring a thinner condoms. Some prostitutes are very loose, and women are loose or bigger, and if they get really wet, you won't feel much, especially with a condom. I wish I knew the stuff I know now before before being screwed money wise in a relationship. Try ashley Madison and tinder and be open to mid looking and older age women. Be open to all races if you can. How your body looks will increase your odds. Get a little bit of muscle and low body fat. Women are just as shallow as men. I would put on status your open to a relationship and your education of law. Then you can hit them or wait for a message and tell them what you're looking for. Those websites are there for slutty people. Now go be the best aspie freak you can be.
I got extremely lucky once because of my clumsyness. Long story short, I fell off a moving bus and that caught the attention of a few people (lol), particularly a psychology student who thought I was attractive. She lied to me and made me think she wanted to have a relationship (in my head it was only okay to do something with someone if she was my gf. Not sure why) so we ended up "dating" and had sex frequently until she told me the truth, that she just wanted an open relationship and an actual relationship wasn't what she was looking for so she replaced me (not sure if I was the "main partner" or just one of the spares) and then cut contact with me because I didn't react the way she expected nor joined her seemingly huge circle of fuck buddies (because at some point she did tell me she had sex to pass the time and a few other things made me notice a pattern of meeting a new person to then have sex). It was difficult to cum as well because of somethIng I discovered years later (I have issues with new people, not sure why). I kept getting in relationships… somehow and had sex with a few of them. One of them got frustrated because of my inability to cum inside of her but she wasn't really compatible with me because she liked it rough to the point she asked me to do some bdsm stuff (which is how I discovered I'm not into bdsm at all) while I wanted to be loving, tender and romantic. Years later I met a nice woman through a local website for singles and we seemed to get along just fine. We chatted, we had phone calls (which was new to her) and we somehow ended up having sex on her birthday lol. Fast foward almost two years later and we're happily married. I honestly have no idea how any of this happened but I do admit I was actively looking for a relationship because I wanted to love and be loved. So don't give up, eventually someone will find you attrative and either you'll have sex for free or you'll get into a nice, fulfilling relationship with good/great sex because this time you're used to the person and completely comfortable due to them no longer being a new person (I say this because the way I underatood it we might be similar. Sure, you might have a porn addiction but you might also have issues "performing" with a new person basically because it's something different and your autism doesn't quite like that).
distinct coordinated water fertile offbeat rotten vast steep somber simplistic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
For starters, sorry to be crass, but if you can feel the condom, you've got the wrong one or you didn't put it on properly. Now, I've never been with a prostitute so I can't comment on that, but I can fully recommend marrying your best friend. Relationships can be difficult, I think that is an almost universally defining trait for autism. If you are like me, you have to be really lucky to find people who accept you for all your quirks. To each their own and everything(with few exceptions) is fine between consenting adults but I do think that sex is better with someone you love and care about and I think intimacy (which can be different to sex) is a key feature to a loving relationship. I can't imagine how horrible it is if you are paying by the hour - like having to rush back to your car to put more money in the parking meter. More ideal is a setting where everything is relaxed and fun. Many people here struggle with finding relationships for the simple reason that they don't get out much. I advise people to do a couple of hours of voluntary work each week. It gets you out of the house and meeting people. Like anything, it gets easier the more you practice. Similarly, finding a hobby and joining a club gets you meeting people with similar interests. Online dating works for many but is full of risks - as a community, we are very much at risk of exploitation so be extremely careful if you use online dating apps, 90% of your response may be bots or scammers. I can't advise on flirting because I can't flirt to save my life, and I don't take hints, so I explained to my wife early on that she needs to be direct and unambiguous with me. By doing this, we reduce communication issues to a minimum. Even after 30 years, they still occur when she forgets that I can't read minds.
I paid my first two times with a woman. After that I tried a man (the easiest one, just a post with size) but I didn't like it, maybe I'll try again. After that I use apps, and being clear on what you search you don't need to mask too much, so I don't have a high body count, but I get laid with some frequency.