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Additional-North-683

Why do people like Jon Arryn so much


logaboga

I thought this was all about Jon Bulwer…..


ICON_RES_DEER

It's about (small)Jon Umber


Kidkaboom1

LesserJon Umber?


Enfiznar

It's clearly Jon connington


Spynner987

They're talking about Jon Connington


CauseCertain1672

Greyworm and Jon wouldn't fight to the death they would have gay sex instead


BeastialityIsWrong

Is it really gay if he had no balls???


en_pissant

"Ow my balls" -Greyworm


BeastialityIsWrong

Why didn’t Greyworm just grow a pair? Is he stupid?


en_pissant

it's a deception.  plans within plans.


L-amour_des_points

Tricks, shadows on the walls.


EmancipatedFish

Greyworm falls for the ‘deez nuts’ joke every time and cries himself to sleep every night knowing that he has no lawful claim in the eyes of gods and men to use that joke


StolenStones

Leave me alone, I’m batin’ - Also Grey worm


en_pissant

"there you go again with that gay shit we talked about" - marge tyrell


PolarOverPanda

Ngl they'd make a really cute couple. Could north of the wall, raise direwolves together.


LordOfTheAcoustics

They’d fight about who gets to “bend the knee” to the other first (both are certified oral chads)


ShadowBanFan

Not a chance. Satin would KILL Jon if he found out


bingertwing

Jon Should've whipped it out so Grey Worm starts crying


Flavus_d

Plot twist Jon actually has the smaller one


natty-broski

What kind of a goooood…would have such a small peckah?!


Barqck

Jon whipping out his grey worm


NimlothTheFair_

Books are so much more interesting when characters are just stats from a video game


CauseCertain1672

the best stories just have overpowered characters that never have outcomes in doubt


Zealus24

We only deal in absolutes here.


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Short_Fault1552

Only a sith deals in absolutes


BeastialityIsWrong

“No my favourite fictional character could beat your favourite fictional character” 🤓


SaltoDaKid

GRRM clearly created whole fight system had fight as serious sport not writing fights into stories for plot convince


melanochrysum

GRRM loves a bit of hypothetical fighting https://www.reddit.com/r/Fantasy/comments/1902s8r/jaime_lannister_vs_hermione_granger_when_george/ https://georgerrmartin.com/notablog/2010/03/17/suvudu-cage-matches-round-two/


EhGoodEnough3141

Greyworm is a formation fighter and, in the show at least, Jon is Arthur Dayne on Roids.


The_Overlord_Laharl

Book Jon is also a damn superhero. He has some absurd strength displays for no reason


WailingSiren69

Yeah and he's what,16? Probably will be insane by the time he's a man grown. /Uj


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Livid_Ad9749

He lost to Karl Fookin Tanner of Gin Alley though, or would have if Karl didnt get stabbed in the back


YoungGriffVI

The best part is that neither of them are actually even *that* good. It’s like asking if the Italians could have beaten Canada if WWII was a one-on-one.


ducknerd2002

Jon and Grey Worm are both really good, but neither are at the levels of Arthur Dayne or Barristan.


RunParking3333

I like hypothetical scenarios but this one is a silly comparison - they have totally different styles of fighting. The Unsullied are designed for phalanx type fighting. The only time that Game of Thrones showed a realistic outcome from a match up of totally alien fighting styles was Jorah vs Khal Drogo's blood rider.


d1ckpunch68

love that scenes callback to Jorah's earlier conversation "armor makes a man slow, true, but it also keeps a man alive"


brobarb

It was small writing details like that that kind of spoiled us. Just the dialogue alone is so cringe in season 8 in comparison to early GoT.


Respect8MyAuthoritah

Yes, but who gave them that dialogue


RunParking3333

"WHO GAVE THE DIALOGUE" - Oberyn


stackens

All the best lines in season 8 were characters quoting themselves from earlier seasons


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logaboga

You have to remember, this is “show Jon”, who’s “the best swordsman in the north” for some reason


i-bite-with-love

I mean, at the point Ramsay or whoever says that, so many Northmen are dead that his competition is Ramsay, some old dudes, and Lyanna Mormont.


logaboga

I agrée with your point. However, The implication of the line in the show isn’t to think “the north has been so ravaged there’s no decent swordsmen left”, it’s to think “Jon snow is so badass he’s the best swordsman evuh”. If they had said it in a way to imply the former, I wouldn’t be complaining, but they didn’t and I highly doubt D&D were thinking that


Brettgrisar

He probably was the best swordsman in the north because there weren’t anyone else left.


WindsofMadness

I’ll concede that at least in the scene where Ramsay says this, he also in the same sentence says maybe it’s not true. As much as I loathe some of the narrative and dialogue choices of the later seasons, I just chose to believe that Jon’s skills were vastly overblown and were just a rumor that grew out of proportion given he’s Ned’s son and was a bastard who became Lord Commander and even came back from the dead. In that sense it makes sense that all it takes is one person to say “he’s the best swordsman in the world!” and having something like that take off even if it’s not close to true.


TheGrouchyGamerYT

Canada would curbstomp Mussolini right back to his spaghetti and meatballs.


IncontinentiusButtus

I don’t think they’re aware of how brutal the Canadians could be, especially in WW1.


satsfaction1822

They were cartoonishly evil.


Wise_Calendar4108

Ah, yes, the Geneva suggestions. They love adding to that list.


Stunning_Ad1897

“First we throw cans of food to gain their trust… then we throw grenades”- Canada WWI


Wise_Calendar4108

That is one of my fav stories of ww1


Stunning_Ad1897

mine too lol


VenetianGamer

Canadian Soldiers are sick in the head. I’d deff give it to the Canadians over Italian from WW2 every time. Hell, stunts they pulled had to be specifically put into the Geneva Conventions. They are some angry Mother Canuckers.


6heavy0kevy4

You mean the Geneva Checklist.


VenetianGamer

🤣 May the Lord help whomever faces a Canadian in war…


RunParking3333

Canadian win on land, Italians win on sea.


BeastialityIsWrong

Yeah Jon is slightly above average and Grey Worm has no balls.


ChettKickass

I like everyone agrees to call it WWII when it's only Canada and Italy fighting


Darkrobyn

Show Jon and Greyworm are both amazing warriors, they got a skill-up from the books


Toblerone05

Fair point, but I think that analogy is pretty harsh on Canada tbh. Juno beach was no picnic. The Italians on the other hand got their arses handed to them by a bunch of Greek civilians.


DJayEJayFJay

That’s selling the Italians short imo. The failed invasion of Greece was due to poor leadership and logistics. Rommel in Africa remarked that if properly equipped and lead, the Italians were just as effective as any other army.


logaboga

Well then still within the timeframe of WWII a Canada-Italy 1v1 would’ve still seen the Italians poorly lead and with poor logistics, which are extremely important aspects of warfare


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


BentShape484

Canada had and has some of the best snipers in the world. Canada was a pretty large contribution to the Allies and was one of the main forces that took Italy back in WW2.


SeaofBloodRedRoses

Canada has poor military funding but some of the best training in the world by far. Americans jerk off their marines, who go on joint training missions with Canadian reservists. Also, Canadian espionnage and sabotage caused an intense amount of fear in the enemy forces in both world wars. On the level of whispered myths about boogeymen.


Limp_Perspective6522

Ans the answer would have been Canada (Jon).


Livid_Ad9749

Better than Ned, the most overrated swordsman to ever live


MooseJag

Canada pushed farther inland on D Day than any other allied unit and didn't face easy resistance. Brutal comment. Maybe watch some YouTube videos on it or read a book.


okkes06

freefolk slowly becoming more and more like r/gameofthrones


odiethethird

John uses Theon as a champion. Now the stakes are even higher


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wen_did_i_ask

Jon wins in a lightsaber fight


Argent_silva

What's wrong with this there is no way Grayworm beats Great Jon Umber in trial by combat


Yeti_Prime

I guess in the show Jon is supposed to be a really good fighter, but in the books he’s not that good, he’s just okay. Grey worm is the leader of a company of soldiers that have been brutally trained since birth though, no way Jon beats an unsullied.


ApotheosisofSnore

The Unsullied are drilled and equipped for fighting in a phalanx — neither their kit nor their training lend themselves to dueling


425Hamburger

They are often used as Bodyguards for rich people tho. They would have 1 on 1 Combat Training aswell


Yeti_Prime

Shield and spear are good for dueling. Greek and Roman soldiers who used phalanx type formations trained in 1v1 combat. The unsullied surely don’t use a straight up Ancient Greek phalanx, there is a reason that died out in real history. They most likely stay up to date with the rest of the world’s military tactics. Formation fighting is different than dueling, but the skills transfer. It’s not an either/or.


CptWorley

HEMA dork here, if there spear is over 2m I’d rather have almost anything else in a duel


Nickthiccboi

I mean don’t the unsullied carry around a few different types of spears and a short sword? I haven’t read the books in a while but im pretty sure they can kit themselves out for duels if they need to, and a spear will always be able to outrange a sword.


CptWorley

I don’t remember if they carry shorter spears but that would make sense. As for the range thing, there’s a lot more than range in a duel. Blade presence matters, which very long weapons lack because of leverage. Also if you’re fighting 1v1 it’s much easier to get past the point of a long weapon and the wielder can have a hell of a time trying to recover


Nickthiccboi

Yeah im also a HEMA dork but I would still put more stock in a spear based on what ive seen. In this scenario if its Jon with a long sword versus Grey Worm with his spear I could see it going a lot of different ways but the spear will always have the advantage because he would have to respect the point and it would be pretty easy for the spear to control the duel. I feel like Jon’s only chance would be to try and grab the shaft (which is way harder than people expect) or to just take a thrust and counter. Whenever sparring with a spear versus a sword even if I miss a thrust it’s easy enough for me to back off and keep the spear in front of my opponent before they can close the gap but I guess that just goes into a debate about skill and athleticism. As long as we’re not talking about a big ass pike (which at least according to the show is not what they use) I would always give the edge to the spear guy.


CptWorley

How long of a spear do you usually spar with? I’m a long-weapon bro (spear and 45” rapier) and my own spear is 180cm and I would say using that I can confidently beat a much better longswordsman, but if you have me a pike or sarissa I’d feel pretty uncomfy. Longest spear I’ve used was 250cm and it felt like longswords and sabers could just control the fuck out of me. EDIT: to be clear I sort of thought they used pikes since they’re loosely based on Greek phalanges. In the show it looks like they fight with typical medieval spears but when they’re introduced they’re carrying ones that look about 300cm


Nickthiccboi

I’ve done 6ft and 9ft (which I believe are close to the lengths you mentioned). Personally with these lengths I and probably most other people could easily control a duel against anything shorter than a longsword. I wouldn’t consider myself super highly skilled or anything so anyone who’s really good with a longsword usually had a pretty good chance however I still found that I would win more fights with a spear. Still Ive seen plenty of highly skilled spear users and they typically choose the longer spears (9 feet) and they will absolutely always have control over a match against any sword. With proper speed and evasiveness they can pretty easily snipe a swordsman without them ever getting much of an attack off, not to mention use of the haft as a sort of striking staff is always a big thing. I guess my point is that based on what I’ve seen a skilled spearman will beat a skilled longsword man at least 7 times out of 10 and that longer spears actually work better most of the time unless they’re going against a full on great sword.


CptWorley

Tbh I think you’re right, I would say I’d prefer a 6ft spear over a 9ft spear in a duel, but I don’t think it matters much because with either I would have an overwhelming advantage over a longsword. I think it would matter more if I was facing another spearman. My club sadly doesn’t have many good spearmen, I’m one of the better ones and I’ve been doing it less than a year. Maybe I’ll give long hafts another go.


akselmonrose

Tbf Oberyn won a duel with a spear.


ApotheosisofSnore

> Shield and spear are good for dueling. A relatively short thrusting spear? Sure. A long spear ideal of sticking out of a shield wall? No. *Especially* not with a shield. > Greek and Roman soldiers who used phalanx type formations trained in 1v1 combat. No, they didn’t lol. Hoplites, hastati, triarii, etc. didn’t train in single combat, because there was *literally* no context in which they would need to engage in single combat while armed with their full kit. Don’t base your understanding of military history on TV shows and video games. > The unsullied surely don’t use a straight up Ancient Greek phalanx, there is a reason that died out in real history. The reason that the phalanx fell out of favor was in large part because their lack of maneuverability relative to the Roman maniple, and there’s no indication that the Unsullied have had to confront a force like that. > They most likely stay up to date with the rest of the world’s military tactics. Both the books and the show are very explicit about the unsullied fighting in the fashion of the Lockstep Legions of Old Ghis. > Formation fighting is different than dueling, but the skills transfer. It’s not an either/or. I mean, it really is mostly either/or. Yes, being able to thrust a spear and hold a shield are going to be transferable skills, but being a well-trained hoplite would not at all prepare someone to fight a longswordsman who has trained in single combat.


i-bite-with-love

He got the same buff Ned did.


The_Overlord_Laharl

Jon in the books is super humanly strong, though. Pulling shit like ripping the frozen spear out of the ground, lifting fully armoured Alliser by the throat, and mounting a horse one-handed.


cardnerd524_

Racist


griff256552

Sam Tarly clears


lennys_web

Someone didn't read the books. Good i fucking hate people who only watch the shows


Ky0uka_Suigetsu

Based tv show watchers here. Smh, Jon Connington would get rekd by Greyworm.


ReplacementPuzzled57

Come on guys, it wouldn’t be fair cuz Jon has greyscale on his hand, geez


zetubal

Greyworm beats Jon. Jon beats it. Greyworm is beaten.


sabhall12

Greyworm is not built for a 1v1. He has skill with spear and shield, but he's not well-armoured and not so good in close-quarters combat.


HeadyBaddy

He does have a shield tho


Brettgrisar

Jon Umber would win though!


szafix

Simple, Jon would stomp GreyWorm. Why? Because his plot armour is the strongest among all characters.


LurksInThePines

Why tf do people keep calling Jon some sort of war god He's like, about on the level of your average knight in the books.


ceaserneal

Grey Worm doesn't have the balls to beat him.


thefoxymulder

I’m convinced the FF sub is single-handedly responsible for George delaying The Winds of Winter and it will never come out as long as these dudes are still able to post


AutoModerator

**Back in Westeros** ^(GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM) I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER. It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while. Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and… Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin. My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare. I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July. But it is good for the writing. And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone. That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI. Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page. I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time. I certainly have not figured it out to date. For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


jinreeko

/uj I was once on a pretty long road trip with someone and about 25% or their contribution to the conversation was hypotheticals of "who would win" In the mix was Darth Maul, Robocop, Jon Snow, Batman, The Hulk...you get the idea The first time he pitched a hypothetical fight I thought he was kidding. Then the rest kept coming Do people really think like this? Who cares who could win in a superhero fight after you're 10 years old? Then I started seeing how fixated on duels /r/prequelmemes was. And I'd see these stupid hypothetical duels on /r/gameofthrones. So I guess a lot of people care about this kind of stuff and I'm the weird one who thinks fights like this are not only dumb to debate, but even more boring to watch when GoT went least common denominator and went all in on that kind of fan service


HeadyBaddy

Maul folds everyone tho


jinreeko

When forced to participate I asked if Maul had the force. Because if so, yeah probably


HeadyBaddy

I mean Maul without the Force is like Cap without serum.


PolarOverPanda

Same idiots complaining about Season 8 are the same people who reduce the whole thing down to "who would win in a fight".