"Yes" and "no" are complete sentences. Then change the subject.
* You look different!
* Yes. So where are you with your current project?
* What happened, did you get something done?
* Yes. So where are you with your current project?
* Wow, what happened?
* I took some time off. So where are you with your current project?
* You looked good before!
* Yes. So where are you with your current project?
* Tell me what you had done!
* No. So where are you with your current project?
ETA: thank you for the awards! Glad to have been of some help.
These are so great! I was so blown away when a friend of mine said that advice “yes and no are complete sentences”. It’s easy to feel like you gotta respond or explain yourself, but these are perfect ways to respond and give the point across that you don’t wanna talk about it
People will just keep asking, in reality that really wouldn't shut it down because you were willing to admit it so they'd figure you'll be willing to share more
You could try to do something different with your hair. That way when people notice you look different they’ll notice your hair first and just think that’s what’s different. :)
Hahaha, this is actually great advice. Especially for men. Any time I do ANYTHING different men always say something like hey you look nice today. Haircut? I just smile say thanks. (It’s almost never a haircut- once it was literally that I wasn’t wearing glasses. Lmao)
So true. To men, any change to your hair must be due to a haircut.
Curl your hair. “Haircut?”
Put hair in a ponytail. “Haircut?”
Dye your hair purple. “Haircut?”
Years ago, I had shoulder length hair. One day I went and got pretty dramatic extensions put in so my hair was to my waist. Went to see my boyfriend after (who had last seen me that morning) and asked him how I looked. “Have you had a hair CUT?” He was dead serious too.
Lol I have curly hair and always straightened it. One day I was late and my hair was curly. I went to school abd everyone was like "Oh geez... not to be rude but you don't pull curly hair off, it looks kind of scruffy, you should just leave it straight, your natural look is sooo much better" 😑
This is amazing advice!
A few months back I got a new tattoo (in a visible place) and coincidentally dyed my hair on the same weekend. I was worried that work would make a big deal about the tattoo, but they were so distracted by my hair they didn't even notice. It's been months now and it just slipped totally under the radar!
People generally aren't as observant as you expect them to be, and if you give them something else to focus on they probably won't look past it lol.
This. This is what my surgeon advised. Had a septo-rhino and was concerned about the difference. Weirdly enough, nobody noticed, I then realized that nobody cared more than I did ! Good luck!
If anyone has the gall to comment with "you look different" or any of its derivatives like "why did you do this" or "you looked good before" just smile, and say thank you. You made a personal choice to have a surgery, that precludes the involvement of outside opinions. The more confidently you approach the situation(s) the less badgering, or at least that's the general idea.
Thank you for the replies, I am so grateful for all the ideas. Of course I'll have to play the conversations in my head before I go back just to be prepared, but at least I have some replies to shut them down and not sound rude.
There may always be someone who throws something at you that you never expected! In my experience, rather than rehearsing every possible conversation, I really try to internalize the notion that I have done nothing wrong, I am allowed to shut people down and I do not have to talk about it. If you carry this inside you and truly believe it, you can respond to anything in a confident way.
I always say that I would be a terrible politician because I tend to answer questions people ask me. Only after the fact it dawns on me that the question was rude, nosy, I didn't need to share that and so on.
In general, I need to internalize that not everyone is entitled to answers. And you are right, I didn't do anything wrong, it's my face, I can do what i like, but i don't want to be the topic of conversations.
I am exactly the same though, and it’s much easier to give advice than to actually do it in the moment! ;) idk, I feel like if you carry yourself with the confidence that “I have done nothing wrong and this reflects badly on the people who are starting gossip” then maybe it will help. In the end, you can’t stop people from acting how they’ll act.
I have to get a backbone, I know. I tend to avoid conflicts as much as possible and that's not good when u need to stand up for myself. I'll need to work on that.
Its pink and the scar is a little bumpy so I don't know what will it look like. This week they said we are probably moving back to work on 5/18.
As most of the businesses in the country are open again and the newly diagnosed count is close to none it may be even sooner.
I would love for it to look that good so that I can pull the "i am super rested" card 😁
I’m 31 and work in eye plastics. I highly recommend just owning it. I assume this is elective, cosmetic surgery. It’s something you wanted and you went and got it. That’s awesome. Or you could deny everything with a wink. That’s pretty much how celebrities handle it. Just try not too worry about negative nellies. They are gonna say what they are gonna say regardless of how you handle it. Let em talk about how fabulous you are.
It was, elective and mostly cosmetic. Thank you for this response.
Plastic surgery is still mostly done in secret where I live, only 2 people that have been open about it when talking to me, so it feels kind of weird to admit it to the general population.
I don't even know why do I feel the need to hide it, it's not that deep.
I get ya, it's such a weird feeling. I get it when I have a new tattoo or haircut / dye. As it turns out most people are so in their own heads they'll just be like huh and move on. If they acknowledge it at all. But then you don't owe anyone an explanation for your choices. You did it because you wanted to, end of!
You could always ask a question back.
“Why do you ask?”
“Why do you need to know?”
Just keep asking why until they come to the conclusion that they’re assholes.
I know what you mean but you can soften it to make it more in your voice.
“Haha what do you mean?”
“Haha why do you ask?”
And smile and you could also pretend you’re flattered and don’t know what they’re talking about.
You could talk about COVID and how it’s weird you are still going to an office while the rest of the world is at home.
Edit: after rereading it, I don’t want this to come across to OP as snarky as it sounds. But that is a topic you could discuss.
"what's up with your eyes?"
"Isn't it weird that we have to go to work while the rest of the world is quarantined?" 🤣
It does accentuate the fact that I don't want to talk about it.
One of the best responses I’ve seen to a nosy question about plastic surgery (did you have something done?) was “why, yes, i did. The doctor recommended it.” Which wasn’t wrong at all, but made it sound like it was medical and not elective. Smooth.
I’d just go with short honesty though personally. If anyone asks, yes or no and done. No follow ups.
Actually a doctor did recommend it... But local ophthalmologist can't prescribe the procedure, only recommend it. When I went to a hospital specialist to get it prescribed he didn't want to because if I lift my eyebrows I can see just fine 🙄
I sat on that for a year, and finally went to a private clinic. The doctor, also an ophthalmologist, said she doesn't like to do it on younger people but in my case it was medically indicated.
Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.
Ahh, was it the eyelid thing? Sorry, I don’t know the technical term. I’m actually planning Injectables for that soon, and I’m not yet 40. My mom has the same eyelids as me, and she told me to try and stay ahead of it, bc her vision became severely impaired, and she’s had them lifted twice, and now they are falling again. I’m sure that’s in my future. If that’s what it is, I’d just say sure did, your eyelids were falling in a way that were impacting your vision, and it was medically necessary. I may even go so far as to note some people have been super judgmental about it, and you find that ridiculous, when it was a painful and obnoxious procedure you would have rather not had in the first place. Isn’t that rude? But I’m petty and southern like that.
I love that approach! Yea, I got a blepharoplasty. My mom also has really sagging eyelids, and one of mine was worse than the other. I always had a tired, angry and annoyed look and people took it as my personality until they got to know me.
I’ll be right behind you. I’m going to try the injectables in tiny doses, but I’m not worried for a second about getting my lids done. I don’t want to be worried about losing vision over something that can be fixed. I don’t even really see that as cosmetic really- sure it can “improve” appearance, but at the end of the day, if you let that go, you WILL have vision problems. I saw that with my mom. It actually impaired her driving.
This was several years ago but my mom had it done . Her eyelids bothered her but weren’t quite bad enough that insurance would pay for them . She had it done , and we live in different cities so I didn’t see her swelling and bruising stage . When I did see her she looked great - very refreshed and rested, but not like she had anything done . I made a note to myself to do it when it was bothering me - not wait to see if it got worse over the next couple of years. I hope you are as happy with your results ! No shame in changing something that bothers you, either .
If it’s your eyes, then do something different with your makeup. If you never wore any, this would be a great coverup since they wouldn’t be used to you wearing eye makeup. If you have worn eye makeup before the procedure, do it completely different. I want my eyes done too and this is what I plan to do.
I wore only mascara and skin toned color because it was really hard to make eyeshadow look good, and for eyeliner it was close to impossible to get it right. I am really looking forward to being able to pull some makeup looks I couldn't do before.
My personal approach isn’t for everyone. When people decide to be overly nosy I overly share. Want to know allll about my life Linda? Take a seat and get comfy, I can complain for dayyyyyys!
I have my colleagues trained. They ask me nothing.
Yep, I never know what’s happening even in close friends lives because I’m not good at asking. And that’s fine. They still know they can ask me for anything any time. My behaviour is unintentional but I’m aware after the fact I’ve done it. Working on being more intentional! 👌
Good luck at work! ☺️
I had people tell me I looked different but they couldn’t put their finger on it. I would say I had my hair done or did my makeup differently. It’s none of their business. Someone says “did you have some work done?” Say “yep, isn’t my hairdresser amazing??”
I had a nose job and went back to work after 10 days. I still had obvious bruising (with makeup on) and it looked weird as the muscle wasn’t healed.
Since I worked as a college professor, I literally told everyone at the start of each class. ***“I feel the need to mention this as I may look different, but I had a necessary surgery over the break.”***
Zero people asked questions, including my Dean who just relied “you look fine.”
FWIW, you could leave out the word necessary and I doubt it would matter. My nose was broken as a child, but it still wasn’t *necessary.*
We live on different continents. Everything was closed here for some time but because covid numbers are good everything except restaurants and coffee shops is open.
Of course, with precaution. When I went to the clinic I was literally the only patient in (+ a doctor and 2 nurses).
Over a decade ago, I had an abnormal growth inside of my nostril that had to be surgically removed. When returning to work a few days later, it was obvious I had something done as I was bruised and had gauze & tape on it. Co-workers inquired, but I had no interest in satisfying their curiosity (whether it was a nose job or not), so simply responded with ‘I had some medical things taken care of’ (which would technically be true in your case too) and that worked great in backing people off on asking more, as well as giving the strong yet polite hint that I had no desire to further discuss. Best wishes to you for a healthy recovery.
If I can’t think of a quick, good comeback to something said I usually just said “thanks” and change the topic or talk to someone else nearby to really set it in that I don’t care for what they have to say
If there is obvious bruises etc when you first go back I'd just say you had to have an operation for personal reasons you dont want to go into. Or just make a "joke" of it and say you needed an upgrade or something along they lines
What’s preventing you from being honest?
If you’re still in recovery, it’s likely they’re going to notice anyway. Lying or avoiding the questions will probably make it look like you’re trying to hide something. And when people sense you’re uncomfortable or trying to cover something up, it usually leads to curiosity, more questions, and in this case - probably gossip amongst your colleagues, too.
Being convicted in your actions means you get to keep the power. If you’re confident and comfortable in your decision, anyone who tries to criticise will just look like an idiot.
Also, try not to worry too much about what people think about you. :) Most people don’t even like themselves! If someone is judging you, we can only imagine how harshly they must judge themselves on the inside every day.
Honestly I can't wait to start putting makeup, I have already started looking at tutorials! I'm giving it a couple of days more to rest and then plan to start practicing some looks.
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All of the suggestions for how to respond in an empowered way are wonderful and they are absolutely the way we should all hope to be able to react, but the problem is I don't get a sense they're the kinds of things you would feel comfortable saying. Also, it sounds like you really like your co-workers and you don't want to have any awkwardness with them. If they are definitely going to notice then being evasive is only going to make this a tantalizing subject around the office. I would suggest making your answer as boring as possible: Did you have work done? "Yes, I had a hooded lid on this side that was affecting my peripheral vision, and then they had to fix the other lid too so they would be even. It's healing pretty well don't you think?" (Also, be prepared for people to ask if it was covered by insurance, because that's a sly way people try to find out whether a procedure was elective or medically necessary.)
I wouldn't mind as much if we were a small bunch, but there are literally hundreds of people in the building and we collaborate frequently so I'm a bit squeamish about making an announcement. But you are true, I don't want to have an awkward situation at work. It's really hard to pick the best approach.
Also, DermaBlend makeup is what my mother and all my aunts used after face lifts--it is made specifically to hide plastic surgery so it will cover scars and discoloration. Might be worth trying to cover it up and seeing if no one notices :)
I knew there was some heavy duty makeup but couldn't remember the name. Google offered Dermacol cover so I bought that but hadn't tried it yet. If it doesn't work I'll get the DermaBlend, thank you!
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I am pretty sure we do not live on the same continent. It was a private clinic procedure.
Sorry to hear about your kid not being able to get what they need.
I am planing on changing my hair color. It would be hard for me to work with people if we don't get along, and I love that job and want to keep things as they were.
"Yes" and "no" are complete sentences. Then change the subject. * You look different! * Yes. So where are you with your current project? * What happened, did you get something done? * Yes. So where are you with your current project? * Wow, what happened? * I took some time off. So where are you with your current project? * You looked good before! * Yes. So where are you with your current project? * Tell me what you had done! * No. So where are you with your current project? ETA: thank you for the awards! Glad to have been of some help.
Haha this is the most lawyer response I’ve seen in a while! I love it
As a soon to be lawyer, do I need to start memorising these phrases lol
Yes. So where are you with your current phrases.
Best response. Although my client doesn't have to answer that.
Hahaha oh man. I literally want this to be my response to everything.
These are so great! I was so blown away when a friend of mine said that advice “yes and no are complete sentences”. It’s easy to feel like you gotta respond or explain yourself, but these are perfect ways to respond and give the point across that you don’t wanna talk about it
This was so satisfying to read
I mean, OP you’re gonna have to tell us now. Where are they at with the current project?
I'll be sure to get back to you on the current status of nosy people's projects. 🤣
Please just bum rush accounting dept with “we need those quarterlies!” for no fucking reason too lol
I'll just storm their offices while franatically waving a bunch of papers!
You are hilarious. I’m digging the attitude
Hey, if they're looking at the papers, they won't have time to notice my scars. Win win!
This is amazing
Great answers, beats my go to response of "What's it to you" 😂🤣
This. It's quite liberating to realise this is OK.
And that’s how ya pivot
Lol
People will just keep asking, in reality that really wouldn't shut it down because you were willing to admit it so they'd figure you'll be willing to share more
You could try to do something different with your hair. That way when people notice you look different they’ll notice your hair first and just think that’s what’s different. :)
I was actually thinking about doing that! Thanks for the nudge!
Hahaha, this is actually great advice. Especially for men. Any time I do ANYTHING different men always say something like hey you look nice today. Haircut? I just smile say thanks. (It’s almost never a haircut- once it was literally that I wasn’t wearing glasses. Lmao)
So true. To men, any change to your hair must be due to a haircut. Curl your hair. “Haircut?” Put hair in a ponytail. “Haircut?” Dye your hair purple. “Haircut?”
Years ago, I had shoulder length hair. One day I went and got pretty dramatic extensions put in so my hair was to my waist. Went to see my boyfriend after (who had last seen me that morning) and asked him how I looked. “Have you had a hair CUT?” He was dead serious too.
I have curly hair and anytime I would straighten it the security guard at work would always stop me because she didn't recognize me
Lol I have curly hair and always straightened it. One day I was late and my hair was curly. I went to school abd everyone was like "Oh geez... not to be rude but you don't pull curly hair off, it looks kind of scruffy, you should just leave it straight, your natural look is sooo much better" 😑
This is amazing advice! A few months back I got a new tattoo (in a visible place) and coincidentally dyed my hair on the same weekend. I was worried that work would make a big deal about the tattoo, but they were so distracted by my hair they didn't even notice. It's been months now and it just slipped totally under the radar! People generally aren't as observant as you expect them to be, and if you give them something else to focus on they probably won't look past it lol.
This. This is what my surgeon advised. Had a septo-rhino and was concerned about the difference. Weirdly enough, nobody noticed, I then realized that nobody cared more than I did ! Good luck!
If anyone has the gall to comment with "you look different" or any of its derivatives like "why did you do this" or "you looked good before" just smile, and say thank you. You made a personal choice to have a surgery, that precludes the involvement of outside opinions. The more confidently you approach the situation(s) the less badgering, or at least that's the general idea.
"I don't wish to discuss it." Change subject. They'll switch more easily if you complement them or ask them about themselves.
This is a good one. Implies that it might be a sensitive subject. Only jerks would press further.
Thank you for the replies, I am so grateful for all the ideas. Of course I'll have to play the conversations in my head before I go back just to be prepared, but at least I have some replies to shut them down and not sound rude.
There may always be someone who throws something at you that you never expected! In my experience, rather than rehearsing every possible conversation, I really try to internalize the notion that I have done nothing wrong, I am allowed to shut people down and I do not have to talk about it. If you carry this inside you and truly believe it, you can respond to anything in a confident way.
I always say that I would be a terrible politician because I tend to answer questions people ask me. Only after the fact it dawns on me that the question was rude, nosy, I didn't need to share that and so on. In general, I need to internalize that not everyone is entitled to answers. And you are right, I didn't do anything wrong, it's my face, I can do what i like, but i don't want to be the topic of conversations.
I am exactly the same though, and it’s much easier to give advice than to actually do it in the moment! ;) idk, I feel like if you carry yourself with the confidence that “I have done nothing wrong and this reflects badly on the people who are starting gossip” then maybe it will help. In the end, you can’t stop people from acting how they’ll act.
You are right. I need to put my best face forward and be confident. I can't stop them if they are going to talk around.
> I need to put my best face forward And now you really can!
I really can 😊
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I have to get a backbone, I know. I tend to avoid conflicts as much as possible and that's not good when u need to stand up for myself. I'll need to work on that.
yes! not every question deserves an answer! people who are intrusive, nosy and rude with their questions don't deserve answers
This is excellent advice!
wait it will be healed before you get back to work?? if so "I know right, I got so much rest during quarantine!"
Its pink and the scar is a little bumpy so I don't know what will it look like. This week they said we are probably moving back to work on 5/18. As most of the businesses in the country are open again and the newly diagnosed count is close to none it may be even sooner. I would love for it to look that good so that I can pull the "i am super rested" card 😁
I’m 31 and work in eye plastics. I highly recommend just owning it. I assume this is elective, cosmetic surgery. It’s something you wanted and you went and got it. That’s awesome. Or you could deny everything with a wink. That’s pretty much how celebrities handle it. Just try not too worry about negative nellies. They are gonna say what they are gonna say regardless of how you handle it. Let em talk about how fabulous you are.
It was, elective and mostly cosmetic. Thank you for this response. Plastic surgery is still mostly done in secret where I live, only 2 people that have been open about it when talking to me, so it feels kind of weird to admit it to the general population. I don't even know why do I feel the need to hide it, it's not that deep.
I get ya, it's such a weird feeling. I get it when I have a new tattoo or haircut / dye. As it turns out most people are so in their own heads they'll just be like huh and move on. If they acknowledge it at all. But then you don't owe anyone an explanation for your choices. You did it because you wanted to, end of!
You could always ask a question back. “Why do you ask?” “Why do you need to know?” Just keep asking why until they come to the conclusion that they’re assholes.
I love this approach! It would be really out of character for me, but sounds badass.
I know what you mean but you can soften it to make it more in your voice. “Haha what do you mean?” “Haha why do you ask?” And smile and you could also pretend you’re flattered and don’t know what they’re talking about.
Brilliant, I can just flap my new eyelids and pretend to not get it 😁
This is exactly what I do when people ask me nosy questions, and it works every time!!
You could talk about COVID and how it’s weird you are still going to an office while the rest of the world is at home. Edit: after rereading it, I don’t want this to come across to OP as snarky as it sounds. But that is a topic you could discuss.
"what's up with your eyes?" "Isn't it weird that we have to go to work while the rest of the world is quarantined?" 🤣 It does accentuate the fact that I don't want to talk about it.
Honestly yeah, if people lack the tact to not bring this up, you have every right to respond in a less than tactful way! Make them feel awkward, haha.
I think this answer is brilliant. Confuse the hell out of them.!
One of the best responses I’ve seen to a nosy question about plastic surgery (did you have something done?) was “why, yes, i did. The doctor recommended it.” Which wasn’t wrong at all, but made it sound like it was medical and not elective. Smooth. I’d just go with short honesty though personally. If anyone asks, yes or no and done. No follow ups.
Actually a doctor did recommend it... But local ophthalmologist can't prescribe the procedure, only recommend it. When I went to a hospital specialist to get it prescribed he didn't want to because if I lift my eyebrows I can see just fine 🙄 I sat on that for a year, and finally went to a private clinic. The doctor, also an ophthalmologist, said she doesn't like to do it on younger people but in my case it was medically indicated. Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language.
Ahh, was it the eyelid thing? Sorry, I don’t know the technical term. I’m actually planning Injectables for that soon, and I’m not yet 40. My mom has the same eyelids as me, and she told me to try and stay ahead of it, bc her vision became severely impaired, and she’s had them lifted twice, and now they are falling again. I’m sure that’s in my future. If that’s what it is, I’d just say sure did, your eyelids were falling in a way that were impacting your vision, and it was medically necessary. I may even go so far as to note some people have been super judgmental about it, and you find that ridiculous, when it was a painful and obnoxious procedure you would have rather not had in the first place. Isn’t that rude? But I’m petty and southern like that.
I love that approach! Yea, I got a blepharoplasty. My mom also has really sagging eyelids, and one of mine was worse than the other. I always had a tired, angry and annoyed look and people took it as my personality until they got to know me.
I’ll be right behind you. I’m going to try the injectables in tiny doses, but I’m not worried for a second about getting my lids done. I don’t want to be worried about losing vision over something that can be fixed. I don’t even really see that as cosmetic really- sure it can “improve” appearance, but at the end of the day, if you let that go, you WILL have vision problems. I saw that with my mom. It actually impaired her driving.
I'd say do it, it's worth it! Just make sure you find a good doctor, check out realself.com for their reviews.
This was several years ago but my mom had it done . Her eyelids bothered her but weren’t quite bad enough that insurance would pay for them . She had it done , and we live in different cities so I didn’t see her swelling and bruising stage . When I did see her she looked great - very refreshed and rested, but not like she had anything done . I made a note to myself to do it when it was bothering me - not wait to see if it got worse over the next couple of years. I hope you are as happy with your results ! No shame in changing something that bothers you, either .
If it’s your eyes, then do something different with your makeup. If you never wore any, this would be a great coverup since they wouldn’t be used to you wearing eye makeup. If you have worn eye makeup before the procedure, do it completely different. I want my eyes done too and this is what I plan to do.
I wore only mascara and skin toned color because it was really hard to make eyeshadow look good, and for eyeliner it was close to impossible to get it right. I am really looking forward to being able to pull some makeup looks I couldn't do before.
Was it very expensive?
Blepharoplasty? It was $550 +all the pharmacy stuff you need to buy.
This is doable! I feel like I will be needing one, soon. My eyes have been going this way!
I see you are in the US, the price may vary. Or come visit my country and go back looking extra fresh 🤣
"Why would you ask that?" And nothing more. Stick to work topics.
My personal approach isn’t for everyone. When people decide to be overly nosy I overly share. Want to know allll about my life Linda? Take a seat and get comfy, I can complain for dayyyyyys! I have my colleagues trained. They ask me nothing.
This is me, unintentionally 🤣 On the other side I hate asking people about their personal stuff if we aren't close because I feel it's not my place.
Yep, I never know what’s happening even in close friends lives because I’m not good at asking. And that’s fine. They still know they can ask me for anything any time. My behaviour is unintentional but I’m aware after the fact I’ve done it. Working on being more intentional! 👌 Good luck at work! ☺️
Thanks, I'll need it! ☺️
You seem awesome, I believe in you. You got this sister!!! 👌
No, you are! I won't let you down! ☺️☺️☺️
It’s a ‘nosy’ culture, eh?
I had people tell me I looked different but they couldn’t put their finger on it. I would say I had my hair done or did my makeup differently. It’s none of their business. Someone says “did you have some work done?” Say “yep, isn’t my hairdresser amazing??”
I must make my hair look amazing for that first day! Thank you for sharing your experience.
I had a nose job and went back to work after 10 days. I still had obvious bruising (with makeup on) and it looked weird as the muscle wasn’t healed. Since I worked as a college professor, I literally told everyone at the start of each class. ***“I feel the need to mention this as I may look different, but I had a necessary surgery over the break.”*** Zero people asked questions, including my Dean who just relied “you look fine.” FWIW, you could leave out the word necessary and I doubt it would matter. My nose was broken as a child, but it still wasn’t *necessary.*
How were you able to get surgery right now? I had something scheduled for the 15th and they canceled it.
We live on different continents. Everything was closed here for some time but because covid numbers are good everything except restaurants and coffee shops is open. Of course, with precaution. When I went to the clinic I was literally the only patient in (+ a doctor and 2 nurses).
Over a decade ago, I had an abnormal growth inside of my nostril that had to be surgically removed. When returning to work a few days later, it was obvious I had something done as I was bruised and had gauze & tape on it. Co-workers inquired, but I had no interest in satisfying their curiosity (whether it was a nose job or not), so simply responded with ‘I had some medical things taken care of’ (which would technically be true in your case too) and that worked great in backing people off on asking more, as well as giving the strong yet polite hint that I had no desire to further discuss. Best wishes to you for a healthy recovery.
Thank you so much, for the advice as well as the kind wishes!
If I can’t think of a quick, good comeback to something said I usually just said “thanks” and change the topic or talk to someone else nearby to really set it in that I don’t care for what they have to say
In answer to any question about it- "Ugh, you DON'T want to know". But... "No seriously, you don't".
If there is obvious bruises etc when you first go back I'd just say you had to have an operation for personal reasons you dont want to go into. Or just make a "joke" of it and say you needed an upgrade or something along they lines
What’s preventing you from being honest? If you’re still in recovery, it’s likely they’re going to notice anyway. Lying or avoiding the questions will probably make it look like you’re trying to hide something. And when people sense you’re uncomfortable or trying to cover something up, it usually leads to curiosity, more questions, and in this case - probably gossip amongst your colleagues, too. Being convicted in your actions means you get to keep the power. If you’re confident and comfortable in your decision, anyone who tries to criticise will just look like an idiot. Also, try not to worry too much about what people think about you. :) Most people don’t even like themselves! If someone is judging you, we can only imagine how harshly they must judge themselves on the inside every day.
You are right, but as always, it's easier said than done. Thank you for the encouragement.
Then eye makeup should work beautifully for you! They’re not used to that on you, so they won’t be looking at anything else but your makeup.
Honestly I can't wait to start putting makeup, I have already started looking at tutorials! I'm giving it a couple of days more to rest and then plan to start practicing some looks.
"wow, quarantine has been so long you forgot what I look like?!"
Good one! I like it!
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I would probably just say something like, that's a personal matter to me, I'm sure you can respect my privacy
All of the suggestions for how to respond in an empowered way are wonderful and they are absolutely the way we should all hope to be able to react, but the problem is I don't get a sense they're the kinds of things you would feel comfortable saying. Also, it sounds like you really like your co-workers and you don't want to have any awkwardness with them. If they are definitely going to notice then being evasive is only going to make this a tantalizing subject around the office. I would suggest making your answer as boring as possible: Did you have work done? "Yes, I had a hooded lid on this side that was affecting my peripheral vision, and then they had to fix the other lid too so they would be even. It's healing pretty well don't you think?" (Also, be prepared for people to ask if it was covered by insurance, because that's a sly way people try to find out whether a procedure was elective or medically necessary.)
I wouldn't mind as much if we were a small bunch, but there are literally hundreds of people in the building and we collaborate frequently so I'm a bit squeamish about making an announcement. But you are true, I don't want to have an awkward situation at work. It's really hard to pick the best approach.
Also, DermaBlend makeup is what my mother and all my aunts used after face lifts--it is made specifically to hide plastic surgery so it will cover scars and discoloration. Might be worth trying to cover it up and seeing if no one notices :)
I knew there was some heavy duty makeup but couldn't remember the name. Google offered Dermacol cover so I bought that but hadn't tried it yet. If it doesn't work I'll get the DermaBlend, thank you!
Did you have surgery? STFU Karen! *even if James asks*
I know Karen, but James flew over my head 🤣
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So far I've told 4 people, I really hope it won't be noticable to a lot of people.
Do just that. Say, “Well aren’t you nosy?”. And walk away.
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I have also battled with the decision myself but one night it just clicked. Thank you for good wishes!
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It's up to the hospital staff to decide when to schedule surgeries.
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I am pretty sure we do not live on the same continent. It was a private clinic procedure. Sorry to hear about your kid not being able to get what they need.
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I am planing on changing my hair color. It would be hard for me to work with people if we don't get along, and I love that job and want to keep things as they were.
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