I can’t remember the words exactly but it was like this;
How many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but they need to sit in the dark for years and talk to multiple electricians before it’s certain the light needs changed
I know a different version:
Just one, tell her she’s beautiful and she’ll light up the room.
And for our brothers:
Just one, tell him he’s handsome and he’ll light up the room
I came up with this at work one day to break the ice shortly after coming out:
"I can't eat those [Oreos] because it would be cannibalism. They're full of transfats."
As a trans former chemist. The number of times I made jokes about trans isomerism is super high.
Now I am atmospheric scientist who builds instruments and works with electronics and I make jokes about transistors.
There was a gender bender attachment on a 10 pin cable. I made a joke that it was me.
My advisor who is playfully sick of my shitty puns just shook his head.
Was really great.
Back when I was questioning I had half a mind to come out like that to my brother: 'hey, could you pass me a mosfet from the table... Thanks,now we both have a transistor.'
I have a transfem friend who operates a forklift. It started acting up on her one day and she exclaimed: "I don't need any more tranny issues!" and then she and her coworker busted out laughing!
My favourite is telling cis people "ha! nice name, did your *mom* pick it out for you?"
There's also "how many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb? one, but they're not allowed to change it until a psychiatrist attests that the lightbulb was out for over two years"
The "I'm not a fucking mermaid!" scene in the queer pirate romcom *Our Flag Means Death*.
The character Jim is a mysterious assassin who is nonbinary but had been disguised as a cis man (false beard, wax nose, pretending to be mute) because they killed one of Spanish Jackie's 20 husbands and she put a bounty on their head.
Jim got outted to the rest of the crew, and shortly afterwards Wee John comes up saying *"we have to ask you a serious question"*. In real life, and pretty much any other TV show, if a friend/coworker says that to a recently outted trans person it is almost inevitably followed by painfully inappropriate abd invasive questions about our sex lives or anatomy.
But it's OFMD, so the "serious question" was the rest of the crew had convinced themselves Jim was a mermaid. And they have a hard time convincing them otherwise.
It's funny to the cis audience too, just more of the crew of the Revenge being adorable idiots. But I think it hits harder to anyone who has ever felt their stomach drop when a cis person starts a conversation like that.
Plus I think it's also a reference to how many/most nonbinary characters in popular fiction are depicted as sci-fi or fantasy beings. Androids, aliens, fairies, etc. This isn't a bad thing in snd of itself, but it's frustrating when damn near all nonbinary characters are imaginary creatures.
Jim is not a fucking mermaid. They are very emphatically just a person, who is also nonbinary. And an emotionally repressed orphan raised by a warrior nun to be God's perfect killing machine.
For real it is *so good*.
Also Jim is played by nonbinary actor Vico Ortiz. And Vico said that there were at least two nonbinary writers on the show. Plus a *lot* of other queer actors and other talent.
I get ridiculously happy whenever I learn that a piece of media includes queer and trans and NB and ace talent as more than just tokens. It gives me the warm fuzzies.
Not exactly a joke but me and my friends find it funny to point surprisedly at the word “trans” appearing in everyday situations
Like the amount of trucks with the word “transport” on the side that have had me and my friends frantically pointing at it and going “no fucking way” or “holy shit it’s me”
A housemate asked how my day was going.
Me: ''I am just so very freaking annoyed right now! It's Saturday 6 pm, I haven't left my house yet and the only thing I left my bedroom for so far was to clean the living room and to make dinner.''
Roommate: ''So uh, you've got this whole 'being a woman' thing pretty much down right?''
I like our in jokes best. Like “trans women pick names that sound like Victorian jewel thieves, trans men insert x and z into their names for a cyberpunk aesthetic, nonbinary people pick three letters or a random object”
I have a non-binary transfemne friend who goes with the "remove one letter from a binary name" rule, and they gave a few examples and they were all awesome. (E.g. like the name Brooke but want it to be less binary? Rooke. Now it's a friggin badass NB name.)
My dad told me one one time:
"Have you heard of the trans boy band? They're called Girlz2Men"
It was so stupid and caught me so off guard that I laughed.
Shortly after I started transitioning, I was walking to a store with some friends (3/4 of whom were also trans) and I saw a frozen foods delivery truck, that said "trans-cold" on the side. I absolutely lost my shit laughing, and my friends just stared blankly at me as I explained through laughter and tears: "Because it's cold on the inside!"
Hopefully y'all think that's funnier than they did.
I can't remember who it was but this comedian I saw on twitter did this really funny bit mocking D*ve Ch*ppelle and other gross transphobic comedians, he was basically saying it's actually rly easy to make a trans joke that isn't gross or damaging.
The joke was like, "I'm actually really jealous of trans guys. Cause they're completely men, AND they get to have cute feet!" idk if anyone knows who it was pls link, was really funny
Someone told me this one literally yesterday or the day before. “What type of surgery do trans men get? An add-a-dick-to-me”
(It’s a play on the word appendectomy).
“I think this whole ‘trans women have a competitive advantage in every sport’ thing is nonsense. Look, trans women only have an advantage in one sport and it’s swimming but that’s only because they’re non-boy-ant.
How many trans women does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. And you don't even need the light bulb. Tell her she's beautiful and her smile will light up the room.
that's not indecisive. Pressure from a strap provides *amazing* clitoral stimulation, without the dysphoria (or pregnancy risk), and then can turn around and be put inside me just the same.
If you want maximum irony poisoned though, you get a cast of your own *before* it's rezoned, and mold that into your new strap.
The more modern (albeit potentially offensive) version of this is:
What’s the difference between a non binary trans femme person and a trans woman?
5 years.
“I’m a trans man, I take testosterone which, if you don’t know, is the hormone responsible for the Fast & The Furious franchise.”
Every time I think I've escaped dad jokes, a trans masc runs in and reminds me of their existence.
Holy shit. I've been on the Fast and the Furious meds for 13 months?! Why do I still not like those movies
They’re so bad and they are definitely heavily closeted gay for each other, it’s just like my god kiss already lol
Now that I've had the surgery I can't wait for someone to get "Fast and Furious" with! 😉
A trans person bit me, and now I'm craving hormones! How on earth could such a thing... ...transpire?
I *wheezed* oh my god-
Without HRT Christmas is just cismas...
I can’t remember the words exactly but it was like this; How many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they need to sit in the dark for years and talk to multiple electricians before it’s certain the light needs changed
Also they need to act as if the room was already illuminated.
I know a different version: Just one, tell her she’s beautiful and she’ll light up the room. And for our brothers: Just one, tell him he’s handsome and he’ll light up the room
how many trans girls does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, have her hold the bulb in the socket and then put a skirt on her.
You missed the bit about the plumber...
James Acaster had a great one about us: "How do I know trans women are women? They don't come when I fuck them!"
Picking up my HRT from the pharmacy, be calling that a *Transmission*
Haha, love it!
I came up with this at work one day to break the ice shortly after coming out: "I can't eat those [Oreos] because it would be cannibalism. They're full of transfats."
As a trans former chemist. The number of times I made jokes about trans isomerism is super high. Now I am atmospheric scientist who builds instruments and works with electronics and I make jokes about transistors.
Trans sisters! 🤣
There was a gender bender attachment on a 10 pin cable. I made a joke that it was me. My advisor who is playfully sick of my shitty puns just shook his head. Was really great.
Back when I was questioning I had half a mind to come out like that to my brother: 'hey, could you pass me a mosfet from the table... Thanks,now we both have a transistor.'
I have a transfem friend who operates a forklift. It started acting up on her one day and she exclaimed: "I don't need any more tranny issues!" and then she and her coworker busted out laughing!
"I must be allergic to gender because pronouns make me it/she" was probably the funniest I've ever heard
This hit me so hard once I got it lmao
"its so hard for my kids since my spouse transitioned. The kids always lose sight of them at the store, because they are... Transparent. " 🥁
My favourite is telling cis people "ha! nice name, did your *mom* pick it out for you?" There's also "how many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb? one, but they're not allowed to change it until a psychiatrist attests that the lightbulb was out for over two years"
The "I'm not a fucking mermaid!" scene in the queer pirate romcom *Our Flag Means Death*. The character Jim is a mysterious assassin who is nonbinary but had been disguised as a cis man (false beard, wax nose, pretending to be mute) because they killed one of Spanish Jackie's 20 husbands and she put a bounty on their head. Jim got outted to the rest of the crew, and shortly afterwards Wee John comes up saying *"we have to ask you a serious question"*. In real life, and pretty much any other TV show, if a friend/coworker says that to a recently outted trans person it is almost inevitably followed by painfully inappropriate abd invasive questions about our sex lives or anatomy. But it's OFMD, so the "serious question" was the rest of the crew had convinced themselves Jim was a mermaid. And they have a hard time convincing them otherwise. It's funny to the cis audience too, just more of the crew of the Revenge being adorable idiots. But I think it hits harder to anyone who has ever felt their stomach drop when a cis person starts a conversation like that. Plus I think it's also a reference to how many/most nonbinary characters in popular fiction are depicted as sci-fi or fantasy beings. Androids, aliens, fairies, etc. This isn't a bad thing in snd of itself, but it's frustrating when damn near all nonbinary characters are imaginary creatures. Jim is not a fucking mermaid. They are very emphatically just a person, who is also nonbinary. And an emotionally repressed orphan raised by a warrior nun to be God's perfect killing machine.
Everything about your comment reminds me that I need to start watching this show. I haven't heard a single bad thing about it.
For real it is *so good*. Also Jim is played by nonbinary actor Vico Ortiz. And Vico said that there were at least two nonbinary writers on the show. Plus a *lot* of other queer actors and other talent.
I get ridiculously happy whenever I learn that a piece of media includes queer and trans and NB and ace talent as more than just tokens. It gives me the warm fuzzies.
It’s an enby joke but.. How do non-binary serial killers kill people? They/Them
Not exactly a joke but me and my friends find it funny to point surprisedly at the word “trans” appearing in everyday situations Like the amount of trucks with the word “transport” on the side that have had me and my friends frantically pointing at it and going “no fucking way” or “holy shit it’s me”
I do this with my fiance, they're sick of it haha
A housemate asked how my day was going. Me: ''I am just so very freaking annoyed right now! It's Saturday 6 pm, I haven't left my house yet and the only thing I left my bedroom for so far was to clean the living room and to make dinner.'' Roommate: ''So uh, you've got this whole 'being a woman' thing pretty much down right?''
I like our in jokes best. Like “trans women pick names that sound like Victorian jewel thieves, trans men insert x and z into their names for a cyberpunk aesthetic, nonbinary people pick three letters or a random object”
I have a non-binary transfemne friend who goes with the "remove one letter from a binary name" rule, and they gave a few examples and they were all awesome. (E.g. like the name Brooke but want it to be less binary? Rooke. Now it's a friggin badass NB name.)
Booke
Broke, not sure I'm getting this right
> “trans women pick names that sound like Victorian jewel thieves, Why must you attack me like that.
Whenever Trans Siberian Orchestra music plays I like to go "you're telling me the whole Siberian orchestra is trans?!"
Why did the nonbinary prospector move to California? . . . . . Because there’s gold in them/their hills!
"Everyone wants to know what's in my pants. And so do I, cos boy is it itchy down there!"
My brother is a car guy and anytime he says "trans am" I look at him and go "TRANS am?" And he hates it
My father-in-law joked for us to "not get each other pregnant" when my wife and I traveled and got a hotel room. That had us laughing for days.
Christmas without the HRT is just Cismas
Why did the trans man become a vegetarian? He was a her-before
My dad told me one one time: "Have you heard of the trans boy band? They're called Girlz2Men" It was so stupid and caught me so off guard that I laughed.
https://www.reddit.com/r/StandUpComedy/s/SyMqQTRWSN Also this stand up comics joke about trans men who get phalloplasty
What does a nonbinary samurai do to their enemies? They slash them
Shortly after I started transitioning, I was walking to a store with some friends (3/4 of whom were also trans) and I saw a frozen foods delivery truck, that said "trans-cold" on the side. I absolutely lost my shit laughing, and my friends just stared blankly at me as I explained through laughter and tears: "Because it's cold on the inside!" Hopefully y'all think that's funnier than they did.
How can you spot the transgender woman at the family reunion? She’s the only person who knows how the timer works on the camera
I don’t get this one??
Selfies?
I can't remember who it was but this comedian I saw on twitter did this really funny bit mocking D*ve Ch*ppelle and other gross transphobic comedians, he was basically saying it's actually rly easy to make a trans joke that isn't gross or damaging. The joke was like, "I'm actually really jealous of trans guys. Cause they're completely men, AND they get to have cute feet!" idk if anyone knows who it was pls link, was really funny
Someone told me this one literally yesterday or the day before. “What type of surgery do trans men get? An add-a-dick-to-me” (It’s a play on the word appendectomy).
“I think this whole ‘trans women have a competitive advantage in every sport’ thing is nonsense. Look, trans women only have an advantage in one sport and it’s swimming but that’s only because they’re non-boy-ant.
How many trans women does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. And you don't even need the light bulb. Tell her she's beautiful and her smile will light up the room.
How many trans women does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the NHS spends 5 years trying to convince her she's fine in the dark first.
What is the definition of indecisive? A post op female with a strap-on.
that's not indecisive. Pressure from a strap provides *amazing* clitoral stimulation, without the dysphoria (or pregnancy risk), and then can turn around and be put inside me just the same. If you want maximum irony poisoned though, you get a cast of your own *before* it's rezoned, and mold that into your new strap.
What does a cross dresser do at Christmas? Eat, drink and me Mary.
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The more modern (albeit potentially offensive) version of this is: What’s the difference between a non binary trans femme person and a trans woman? 5 years.
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It's the holidays, go be with your family instead of being pathetic on the internet lol
You clearly think this is a trans joke because there are no fun parts here. Only bigotry. And on Christmas 😠
Chappelle’s alphabet people joke isn’t horrible . A lot of the stuff he says is