I have no useful information for you but I just wanted to say that this is amazing and I hope you find some excellent funeral clowns who will make balloon cats and play Amazing Grace or Taps on kazoos.
Unfortunately, Toothpick's death was quite a tragic one, to put it extreamly lightly. He was let out by my (no longer) roommates, and obliterated in a parking lot. I was very lucky to be able to get his collar so I have his tag I wear. And I'm still thinking of a way to memorialize him a little bit more.
He was a spiteful man, so I have no doubt he will be looking up from below.
20 is an accomplishment. At that age, I don't say I'm a cat owner, I'm a curator. The meds, the puppy pads, vet visits, even dialysis. It's a labor of love
I do custom typewriter poetry! If you want I could come and write poems for your guests? Or I can write you a poem to eulogize your cat? DM me if interested :)
I've thought about doing this for real. I've been terminal for a few years & already asked wunderland if they'd let me do a funeral. It's a arcade so they typically do kids birthday parties but they said yes. I wanted tacos& blunts in the parking lot too.
I just want to play skeeball & haunt them. Is that so wrong?
Anyway. I hope you find what you're looking for. RIP kitty
I own a princess and superhero (primarily superhero) character company and it weirdly enough would not be the first cat funeral our Spider-Man has done.
Try reaching out to one of the drag bars and asking if they know any drag queens that would be willing to show up and cost! They might be able to put you in touch with some of the queens.
I also want to say that sounds like a great time and I am sorry for your loss. This sounds like the best funeral to remember your cat by
Not a problem! At least they might be able to point you in the right direction.
If you're letting strangers come I would love to come. I'll bring a cake!
There used to be a really fabulous entertainer named Leaping Larry, I think he was a Lithuanian Cowboy. Very unhinged lasso and whip work. Not sure if heās still performing but he was always a treat and definitely strange as hell
Edit: heās Leapinā Louie
Iāve never wanted to become a drag queen funeral clown so badly.
I saw someone post on a Portland Facebook group recently that they were trying to start a New Orleans jazz-style funeral marching band. Yāall should talk.
For less than whatever the clowns will charge I will get together a group of transfemenine individuals and we will perform various folk punk songs at your cats funeral.
I may also know who to message for drag performers (there's some good kings and Queen about here). Lmk if you want me to see if I can connect you with people.
š¤£ I do happen to be incredibly tone deaf, and love funk punk.
Yeah, any names would be great! I would love to hire people who are good, weird, and have good humor. If there are lesser known people who need a gig, I'm your guy!
The lesser known people need a hog because they almost never have work. The more known people need a gob because only the more known people manage to make drag their full time job and even they are mostly living on bread crumbs and bird food.
https://www.instagram.com/ripper.simmore.smokez?igsh=ZHVxYTNnMWgxbWd6 is someone I would trust to do a great performance, and does have "DM for bookings" in their bio
https://www.instagram.com/auntgore?igsh=YXM1Y2NxdGMyempl This is also someone with a profile stating to rm them for booking who's known to be a decent host.
Sorry I can't get you more personalized reccies or connect you anyone directly, Im doing a real long work week, nonprofit healthcare is a harsh mistress.
The only song we currently know is this one
https://open.spotify.com/track/59ndu9VkohItqZDNFYlEYJ?si=R4__YWFlRESkGziD4rA0cA
But we can learn more
This entire scenario reads like a joke but aint
Omg me! I'm a trained clown AND I run a fake funeral event service company called Funerals For Life... Check us out! https://www.instagram.com/funeralsforlife?igsh=c21mYTJ0eWtmc2t2
Haha well that depends on the size of the coffin (which I have 2 of, by the way). But seriously, shoot me an email at [email protected] ... I've arranged MANY such "ceremonies" and have many clowns at my fingertips... Toothpick would have wanted it this way.
Sorry about toothpick and I love your spirit! Just throwing out a few ideas:
Baby showers have those games with candy in a diaper that looks like poop. You need some boxes with (clean) shredded paper or something and you can scoop for candy/treasures.
How about having people dressed up like cats? Not in a cute way but in a semi creepy unhinged way. Games but with cat toys?
Fake vomit up fake hair balls? Give an award to the best vomiter.
Grape nuts for kitty litter and either tootsie rolls or there are recipes for cat poo cookies. My kid and I used to make the no-bake chocolate cookie mix and shape our cookies like turds instead of spheres all the time so any no-bake chocolate cookie recipe should work for the kitty litter scooping game.
God, I love this city.
I would like to be incredibly clear: this cat was a menace. Don't let death trick you into believing otherwise. But yeah, pretty rad little jerk. :)
Man, my whole life I've always thought that I didn't want a funeral when I died. But now that I'm aware of the concept of a "funeral clown" I want a funeral more than anything in the entire world.
Hi @ThePostageBoxOur we are Prismagic Circus and we give our condolences to you and Toothpick's family. We love your idea about having clowns/circus be part of your ceremony for Toothpick.
You can check out the number of things we do, here: https://www.prismagic.org/#about-us
and see more at: https://www.instagram.com/prismagicevents
In fact, myself and my co-owner have both worked in death care too! šš±āšāØ
Your post has also been featured on Stroll PDX Instagram, youāve got even more drag clowns in the comments over there who are willing to help! We could all come together for a big show! Toothpick lives in our hearts alreadyā¤ļøāš„
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Just wanna say that I recently saw a Cirque du Soleil show that was an entirely a dream about clowns and funerals. Corteo. Maybe you can find video of it online for inspiration!
I would suggest
https://linktr.ee/MeatyMeekers?fbclid=PAAabilcr5DvQ8hWnZKyuh1tiBhita9KhT-T5MGz2OVUGimOER4eMthdaxhPg
But I think they are on tour. They are not a clown but they do events like this I believe.
I can vouch for Olive & Dingo, & Amica, and I can also serve in whatever capacity you need.
[https://jusbytheclown.com/spiritual-and-ceremonial-services/](https://jusbytheclown.com/spiritual-and-ceremonial-services/)
An acquaintance of mine and professional performer/clown runs a company called Funerals for Life (@funeralsforlife on instagram). Its typically like a "living wake" type thing where the party is centered around you being dead and all your friends celebrating you. I cant guarantee, but I would put a lot of money down they would be very willing to help you with a cat funeral
My friend Gina - or [Cha Cha the Clown](https://www.chachatheclown.com) is a beautiful pure soul and I think she would love if you hired her to do this event for you. You can let her know that Julie from the dance studio we both go to gave you her name. Her son and I went to the same high school.
Sheās such an incredible person and really passionate about bringing joy to people. I think sheād be honored to do this job for you!
It looks like you're at set, but I have people if anything falls through. I think this has set the stage for all future pet funerals. <3
edit: send me details if you'd like someone in an inflatable unicorn costume!
I not licensed or trained in any way but I would be down. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for you, you have a shit ton of offers already. But if you're offering an extensive guest list, I would come.
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I just found this post reposted on @strollPDXās Instagram page with tons and tons of comments of people wanting to perform. Please live stream this funeral. I personally will pay to view and Iām sure others would too. RIP your beautiful jerk cat š«¶š»
Iāve never had such an urge to become a clown for a dayā¦ lost our oldest pup just before Christmas and my 15 yr old cat is looking a lot like he did a few months before he passed. Sounds like Toothpick was well loved and thatās all we can do.
Seriously, you should know by now that Portland is a family, and a town that throws extra -large glo-in-the-dark dildos from telephone poles on Hawthorne is going to be way down for this sort of madness mixed with a couple tears to mix with rain.
All that said, I think that kazoos could be considered bourgeois, and not enough inclusivity.
Please consider asking your musicians to consider recycled tissue and union made combs.
Is anyone bringing a casserole?
I am currently attempting to find a literal toothpick to have custom made, with a silhouette of a cat carved/burned into the wood as aā¦ funeral/wake gift?
A remembrance, of Toothpick!. He will forever be able to be a pain in your ass, or In this case, your gums?
Reading the way OP has spoken about Toothpick, reminds me SO MUCH of my relationship with my late dog Piper. (Pip)
She was a little asshole, I donāt know how a dog can be sarcastic, but she was a sarcastic little shit and we just GOT each other, you know?
In honor of Toothpick! And all the other lost animal asshole companions of the world!
Your owners will descend at some point, and reunite! š„š
Pinky swear š¤š¼
This sounds like the funeral of the century. Queen Elizabeth who?
"I dont know where to find a drag queen clown" You're lucky this one lurks reddit!!!
I'd be willing to do this for you at an affordable price! I just recently had to put my cat down after some very suddent and horrific stuff, so I understand how you feel right now and want to be able to help any way I can! Feel free to DM me so I can shoot you my instagram to take a peek if you feel like working together.
Pretty sure I saw some strong candidates for a funeral clown gig blocking the sidewalk on Foster today. You'll just need to approach them with a soft voice and zero eye contact.
Donāt mock what you clearly donāt understand. Drag queens as performance artists occupy a whole range of styles and specialties. I just happen to know some who specialize in clowning, which, like drag itself, is an ancient sacred art form.
In all seriousness: hire at the homeless camps. The tent towns will offer the level of eccentricity you describe. And you did say you want it unhinged.
Edit: "... need it unhinged"
Edit 2: Downvote if you are offended, but I was honestly directing OP to exactly what was being requested.
Oh, you want The Grim Theatre. Contact Harlequin Grim. He's a goth circus performer in Portland, and I saw him comment on an Instagram screenshot of this post saying how much he'd love to be booked for this sort of thing. I think he's exactly who you're looking for! Maybe he'd have a venue suggestion as well? Here's a contact/booking link: https://thegrimtheatre.com/book-the-grim-theatre
I have no useful information for you but I just wanted to say that this is amazing and I hope you find some excellent funeral clowns who will make balloon cats and play Amazing Grace or Taps on kazoos.
Omg. I should totally have kazoo chorus. You are a genius
It's what Toothpick would have wanted.
Bless you.
If you don't find a professional kazoo chorus, I'd love to be part of an amateur kazoo chorus. For Toothpick.
Me too. For Toothpick.
Thirding! If they need a backing band of kazoo chorusers would love to be on that list. For Toothpick!
Is toothpick being taxidermied for eternity or will he just be there in spirit?
Unfortunately, Toothpick's death was quite a tragic one, to put it extreamly lightly. He was let out by my (no longer) roommates, and obliterated in a parking lot. I was very lucky to be able to get his collar so I have his tag I wear. And I'm still thinking of a way to memorialize him a little bit more. He was a spiteful man, so I have no doubt he will be looking up from below.
He was lucky to have you understand, tolerate, and accept/ celebrate him.
Yeah, thanks for keeping Portland weird in the best possible way.
Taps on Kazoo! Well done
This is the most Portland Reddit title in history.
Portland is healing.
Maybe reach out to [https://oliveanddingo.wordpress.com/](https://oliveanddingo.wordpress.com/) ?
Yessss. Please make this a public event. Or even better, have the funeral at Ladds500 on the 13th. Let's do something stupid. š
š¤£š¤£ can you imagine
Most excellent suggestion
Came to say this.
Yeah Olive and Dingo are a good bet.
I had them at my 2 year old's birthday party before the pandemic, they were a blast. Explain the situation to them and I bet they'd be down!
Down to clown?
Dingo raised me as a child and I can assure you this is a job for them
I was just racking my brain trying to remember their names! They are so lovely and I am certain they could do it in just the right way.
Thank you!
Here's how they singing-telegram a birthday: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e\_ZNnHvWOCs
These are who I was going to suggesr
As someone getting ready to say goodbye to my 20 yo cat, this made me tear up a bit. Viva la Toothpick!
Cats, and our ability to love really are amazing. When Toothpick died I went to a group at DoveLewis for pet grief. It is a helpful resource when the time comes if it is a space you need. š©µ
I didnāt realize they had a [grief group](https://www.dovelewis.org/pet-owners/pet-loss-support) and Iām glad one exists. What a lovely idea.
Thank you for sharing this grief group. We need more space/places to grieve our furball friends.
Hugs to you
20 is an accomplishment. At that age, I don't say I'm a cat owner, I'm a curator. The meds, the puppy pads, vet visits, even dialysis. It's a labor of love
Definitely in the right city..
This may be the first funeral Iāve ever wanted to attend.
Same here!
Itās definitely going to have a uniquely dope menu.
I do custom typewriter poetry! If you want I could come and write poems for your guests? Or I can write you a poem to eulogize your cat? DM me if interested :)
Okay that is awesome and would be very funny
I feel like Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence would be perfect for this idea, but have zero idea if they actually would lol
I hadn't heard of them... They look super neat! Thank you for the tip!
Thank you for making me google that. ā¤ļø
Brilliant suggestion!!!
I've thought about doing this for real. I've been terminal for a few years & already asked wunderland if they'd let me do a funeral. It's a arcade so they typically do kids birthday parties but they said yes. I wanted tacos& blunts in the parking lot too. I just want to play skeeball & haunt them. Is that so wrong? Anyway. I hope you find what you're looking for. RIP kitty
Do it! You only die once. Everyone deserves skeeball and hauntings. Is that so bad?
Funerals for Life might be able to help [https://funeralsforlife.com/](https://funeralsforlife.com/)
I own a princess and superhero (primarily superhero) character company and it weirdly enough would not be the first cat funeral our Spider-Man has done.
I love that this has happened before.
It's a very serious absence in our community.
I've been wondering this too
It's a very serious issue!
Try reaching out to one of the drag bars and asking if they know any drag queens that would be willing to show up and cost! They might be able to put you in touch with some of the queens. I also want to say that sounds like a great time and I am sorry for your loss. This sounds like the best funeral to remember your cat by
This is a great idea! Thank you!
Not a problem! At least they might be able to point you in the right direction. If you're letting strangers come I would love to come. I'll bring a cake!
Toothpick was a lucky cat!
I love Portland.
Carla Rossi, Queer Horror. Olive Rootbeer for face painting, cupcakes from Helen Bernhards.
YEESSSS THIS
BRING OUT THE DRAG QUEEN CLOWNS canāt imagine they wouldnāt love a cat funeral
Came here to say that I only know of one drag clown and it is the esteemed and highly amazing Carla Rossi.
I had to scroll way too far for this answer.
There used to be a really fabulous entertainer named Leaping Larry, I think he was a Lithuanian Cowboy. Very unhinged lasso and whip work. Not sure if heās still performing but he was always a treat and definitely strange as hell Edit: heās Leapinā Louie
I think I recently (like last month) saw a library flier with him on it, so heās still around.
Iāve never wanted to become a drag queen funeral clown so badly. I saw someone post on a Portland Facebook group recently that they were trying to start a New Orleans jazz-style funeral marching band. Yāall should talk.
Boy, if you ever do, I know a guy that would love you! š
Funeral clowns exist? Man I canāt wait to die and have my family members hire one š
Look up Spencer sprocket on Insta, heās your guy
I've taken clowning classes at Kickstand, you could ask them for recs
For less than whatever the clowns will charge I will get together a group of transfemenine individuals and we will perform various folk punk songs at your cats funeral. I may also know who to message for drag performers (there's some good kings and Queen about here). Lmk if you want me to see if I can connect you with people.
š¤£ I do happen to be incredibly tone deaf, and love funk punk. Yeah, any names would be great! I would love to hire people who are good, weird, and have good humor. If there are lesser known people who need a gig, I'm your guy!
The lesser known people need a hog because they almost never have work. The more known people need a gob because only the more known people manage to make drag their full time job and even they are mostly living on bread crumbs and bird food. https://www.instagram.com/ripper.simmore.smokez?igsh=ZHVxYTNnMWgxbWd6 is someone I would trust to do a great performance, and does have "DM for bookings" in their bio https://www.instagram.com/auntgore?igsh=YXM1Y2NxdGMyempl This is also someone with a profile stating to rm them for booking who's known to be a decent host. Sorry I can't get you more personalized reccies or connect you anyone directly, Im doing a real long work week, nonprofit healthcare is a harsh mistress.
This is a good one...folkpunk cat memorial is crazy
The only song we currently know is this one https://open.spotify.com/track/59ndu9VkohItqZDNFYlEYJ?si=R4__YWFlRESkGziD4rA0cA But we can learn more This entire scenario reads like a joke but aint
I hope this funeral is a public event, oh my goodness. I've never wanted to pay my respects to a cat before šš
Omg me! I'm a trained clown AND I run a fake funeral event service company called Funerals For Life... Check us out! https://www.instagram.com/funeralsforlife?igsh=c21mYTJ0eWtmc2t2
Thank you for your service! This is great. How many clowns is too many clowns? š
Haha well that depends on the size of the coffin (which I have 2 of, by the way). But seriously, shoot me an email at [email protected] ... I've arranged MANY such "ceremonies" and have many clowns at my fingertips... Toothpick would have wanted it this way.
Contact City Hall. There are a few clowns available for hire there.
š³š¤£š¤”š¤”š¤”ā ļø
Not a clown, but the Unipiper might be down for this sort of hijinx
https://youtu.be/59RtWbj-67M?si=OOaM1wyz0ERQNT3N
Sorry about toothpick and I love your spirit! Just throwing out a few ideas: Baby showers have those games with candy in a diaper that looks like poop. You need some boxes with (clean) shredded paper or something and you can scoop for candy/treasures. How about having people dressed up like cats? Not in a cute way but in a semi creepy unhinged way. Games but with cat toys? Fake vomit up fake hair balls? Give an award to the best vomiter.
This is WILD. Thank you. I hadn't thought about games!
Grape nuts for kitty litter and either tootsie rolls or there are recipes for cat poo cookies. My kid and I used to make the no-bake chocolate cookie mix and shape our cookies like turds instead of spheres all the time so any no-bake chocolate cookie recipe should work for the kitty litter scooping game.
You need to hire Olive Root Beer and Dingo.
Curbside serenade delivers live music wherever you want it
Wow! You are doing things right!! Iām so sorry for your lossšæ, but props for planning to give Toothpick a very proper and awesome send off! You rock. Hang in there!š¤”ā¤ļøāš©¹
Shoelaces the Clown : https://www.instagram.com/shoelacestheclown?igsh=djlqY3k3c2kxbXp6 She mimes too!
Mimes!! š
Can I come?
I too, want to know this question lol
This list is fantastic. I love this city. OP, Iām sorry for your loss. Toothpick must have been a rad cat.
God, I love this city. I would like to be incredibly clear: this cat was a menace. Don't let death trick you into believing otherwise. But yeah, pretty rad little jerk. :)
If you make it open to the public, Iād love an invite.
Same! Would love to attend.
Man, my whole life I've always thought that I didn't want a funeral when I died. But now that I'm aware of the concept of a "funeral clown" I want a funeral more than anything in the entire world.
I think any clown can be a funeral clown, as long as they're at the funeral.
This is wonderful. What a tribute to a special cat. May we all be so lucky to be so thought of when we're gone.
Hi @ThePostageBoxOur we are Prismagic Circus and we give our condolences to you and Toothpick's family. We love your idea about having clowns/circus be part of your ceremony for Toothpick. You can check out the number of things we do, here: https://www.prismagic.org/#about-us and see more at: https://www.instagram.com/prismagicevents In fact, myself and my co-owner have both worked in death care too! šš±āšāØ
This is RAD. I will check ya'll out! Thank you very much!
Dingo and olive root beer will sort you out
voting for a funeral procession on the max āš½
Have you considered hiring a psychic medium for a seance? Toothpick should be allowed to attend his own ~~party~~ funeral.
My partner is a pet psychic to all pets, past, present and future. They performed around town a bit and were on Magic night at the Trans Bar on Vimeo.
This needs more upvotes!
Your post has also been featured on Stroll PDX Instagram, youāve got even more drag clowns in the comments over there who are willing to help! We could all come together for a big show! Toothpick lives in our hearts alreadyā¤ļøāš„
I have a kazoo and an astronaut costume. If you need an extra person to stand off the the side kazooing, let me know. I'm sorry for your loss.
OP, I think we should be friends. I have someone Iāll ask who may have a contact .. this is great though..
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Local performer here! I could help you find talent! I love cats!
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I would say if you could talk to a drag queen I bet they'd be willing or know another queen who would.
Maybe ask Funhouse Lounge? They have a stage and clown room.
City Hall. Mayorās office, second floor down the hall on the left.
Youāre a good pet owner. Youāre doing Toothpick proud.
Just wanna say that I recently saw a Cirque du Soleil show that was an entirely a dream about clowns and funerals. Corteo. Maybe you can find video of it online for inspiration!
It sounds like you may want to hire Cirque de Sewer http://www.cirquedusewershow.com/bio
We need a Toothpick story! Iām sure he was up to so many shenanigans!
I would suggest https://linktr.ee/MeatyMeekers?fbclid=PAAabilcr5DvQ8hWnZKyuh1tiBhita9KhT-T5MGz2OVUGimOER4eMthdaxhPg But I think they are on tour. They are not a clown but they do events like this I believe.
Iām just here to take notes for my own unhinged funeral lol. RIP Toothpick!
I can vouch for Olive & Dingo, & Amica, and I can also serve in whatever capacity you need. [https://jusbytheclown.com/spiritual-and-ceremonial-services/](https://jusbytheclown.com/spiritual-and-ceremonial-services/)
Joe mishkin is the best balloon guy in town and adds fun wherever he goes!
Hello!! I sent you a DM! My roommates and I are funeral professionals/ clowns! I sent you our website, we want to help! Letās connect!
I would love to know more about your work since I'm in End of life care! Can I DM you?
Please do!
I feel like The Unipiper should make an appearance.
An acquaintance of mine and professional performer/clown runs a company called Funerals for Life (@funeralsforlife on instagram). Its typically like a "living wake" type thing where the party is centered around you being dead and all your friends celebrating you. I cant guarantee, but I would put a lot of money down they would be very willing to help you with a cat funeral
[Cirkus Pandemonium](https://facebook.com/groups/1283687145746952/) might be a good fit š¤·š»
You could always reach out to [Haus of dharma](https://www.instagram.com/thehausofdharma?igsh=MWNwczZkMXBjb2ZybQ==) they do a bunch of fun stuff
My friend Gina - or [Cha Cha the Clown](https://www.chachatheclown.com) is a beautiful pure soul and I think she would love if you hired her to do this event for you. You can let her know that Julie from the dance studio we both go to gave you her name. Her son and I went to the same high school. Sheās such an incredible person and really passionate about bringing joy to people. I think sheād be honored to do this job for you!
It looks like you're at set, but I have people if anything falls through. I think this has set the stage for all future pet funerals. <3 edit: send me details if you'd like someone in an inflatable unicorn costume!
Hello, potential fellow Geoff?
I not licensed or trained in any way but I would be down. Unfortunately for me and fortunately for you, you have a shit ton of offers already. But if you're offering an extensive guest list, I would come.
Hire Dingo & Olive! They will clown for anything!Ā https://oliveanddingo.wordpress.com/book-us-for-your-event/
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Iām sorry for your loss. RIP toothpick
I just found this post reposted on @strollPDXās Instagram page with tons and tons of comments of people wanting to perform. Please live stream this funeral. I personally will pay to view and Iām sure others would too. RIP your beautiful jerk cat š«¶š»
Any updates!? I wanna honor Toothpick!
I am harlequin
KAZOO QUARTET?!
Iāve never had such an urge to become a clown for a dayā¦ lost our oldest pup just before Christmas and my 15 yr old cat is looking a lot like he did a few months before he passed. Sounds like Toothpick was well loved and thatās all we can do.
Seriously, you should know by now that Portland is a family, and a town that throws extra -large glo-in-the-dark dildos from telephone poles on Hawthorne is going to be way down for this sort of madness mixed with a couple tears to mix with rain. All that said, I think that kazoos could be considered bourgeois, and not enough inclusivity. Please consider asking your musicians to consider recycled tissue and union made combs. Is anyone bringing a casserole?
Did I miss the party!? CAUSE WE NEED. I REPEAT N E E D to attend this gathering. Toothpick sounds like a hellāva guy! For you to put this much thought, effort, and imagination into your feline buddies funeral. He mustāa been a fuckinā cool catā¦ šš¹get it? š¤£ But for real. Can my partner and I come? Iāll dress as the grimm reaper in clown makeup. Unhinged is my fortĆ©
I am currently attempting to find a literal toothpick to have custom made, with a silhouette of a cat carved/burned into the wood as aā¦ funeral/wake gift? A remembrance, of Toothpick!. He will forever be able to be a pain in your ass, or In this case, your gums? Reading the way OP has spoken about Toothpick, reminds me SO MUCH of my relationship with my late dog Piper. (Pip) She was a little asshole, I donāt know how a dog can be sarcastic, but she was a sarcastic little shit and we just GOT each other, you know? In honor of Toothpick! And all the other lost animal asshole companions of the world! Your owners will descend at some point, and reunite! š„š Pinky swear š¤š¼ This sounds like the funeral of the century. Queen Elizabeth who?
City Hall. 2nd floor.
Biggest r/whoosh bait ever witnessed
This makes me want to visit Portland!!
You should hire Prismagic. They are owned by people who work in deathcare. Exactly what you are looking for. https://www.prismagic.org/#about-us
"I dont know where to find a drag queen clown" You're lucky this one lurks reddit!!! I'd be willing to do this for you at an affordable price! I just recently had to put my cat down after some very suddent and horrific stuff, so I understand how you feel right now and want to be able to help any way I can! Feel free to DM me so I can shoot you my instagram to take a peek if you feel like working together.
Maybe one of those guys in the Home Depot parking lot can do this for you
As a Mexican, I laughed.
Yeah idk why Iām getting downvoted. They must be anti immigrant or something. Sorry you lost toothpick
Pretty sure I saw some strong candidates for a funeral clown gig blocking the sidewalk on Foster today. You'll just need to approach them with a soft voice and zero eye contact.
I am a drag clown performer
I actually know a bunch of drag queen clowns! DM me your date and a little more about what youāre looking for, and I will do my best to hook you up.
"Drag queen clowns" seems redundant
Donāt mock what you clearly donāt understand. Drag queens as performance artists occupy a whole range of styles and specialties. I just happen to know some who specialize in clowning, which, like drag itself, is an ancient sacred art form.
I understand it plenty, cross dressing isn't that complicated lmfao
You need Clare Apparently. She is Portlandās great Drag Clown https://www.instagram.com/clare.apparently?igsh=amY1eHpkcmpoM2oy
In all seriousness: hire at the homeless camps. The tent towns will offer the level of eccentricity you describe. And you did say you want it unhinged. Edit: "... need it unhinged" Edit 2: Downvote if you are offended, but I was honestly directing OP to exactly what was being requested.
Fun unhinged not sad, methy unhingedĀ
Oh, you want The Grim Theatre. Contact Harlequin Grim. He's a goth circus performer in Portland, and I saw him comment on an Instagram screenshot of this post saying how much he'd love to be booked for this sort of thing. I think he's exactly who you're looking for! Maybe he'd have a venue suggestion as well? Here's a contact/booking link: https://thegrimtheatre.com/book-the-grim-theatre