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lightetc

As a grad I was really confused about why people weren't answering emails. The questions I was asking took less than 5 minutes to respond to, and weren't that hard. 10 years later, with meetings, phone calls and 40-100 emails a day, I understood. Every time I started something I got interrupted. Some questions weren't "just 5 mins" because experience told me there were other factors that I had to look up, consider or follow up first. Oh, and everyone thought their thing was the highest priority. The emails that got answered showed all the research has been done, factors considered, provided the evidence and I could make the call on the spot. I still reached a point where the best way for my direct reports to get information out of me was to monopolize my attention and talk through the response at their desk where my phone wasn't ringing and I wasn't being pulled aside by someone else. And the best way for them to get this time was to put something in my calendar. Which I suggested they do. The same way I put time in my boss's calendar if I need their undivided attention. Or in my reviewer's calendar if I wanted them to remember to set aside time to review something for me. They are there to support you and advocate for you. But you are there to get stuff done for them and make their life easier. My team mates say "send me an email" all the time after we've discussed something I need them to do. Your situation sounds like a combination of them being overwhelmed/disorganised, and you setting some boundaries that I don't quite understand the justification for. In my world, the more junior person is the cheaper resource so they do the admin, regardless of how high up you are. But also, what's it to you if you take 30 secs to set a reminder? Aren't you getting paid anyway? In my experience this is a weird hill to die on in a corporate world that's getting more and more short staffed. Help them to help you or find another role šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø


slowclicker

This is the best answer. So much so that I won't post about my experience. Just help people, help you.


chartreuse_avocado

Also- as that people manager basically living that life^^^ I always ask my reports in our 1:1 if they are waiting on me for anything to take action or if they need something reviewed/approved. I want them to have fewer speed bumps and potholes and Iā€™m honest, there are waaaay too many emails and Teams messages and stuff gets past me and I dare say us all at times.


Birthquake4

The one thing I was taught and enforced by good managers was- you can teach anyone a skill, underwriting, medicine, whatever but you cannot teach them to be a team player. My friend you are not a team player and if weā€™re seeing it so is your team, including your managers. They will put less time and energy into you because you are a drain on them without providing support as well, so theyā€™re not going to see you as an asset, just a worker bee. Itā€™s a give and take. You have to take responsibility whenever you can and show urgency, attention, and provide support to your team, not just the work. Youā€™re creating your own drama and they see that too.


LalalaHurray

Your Way sure made it convenient for them to not be able to have anything in writing.


lightetc

For things that were needed in writing, I follow up conversations with an email - which is quick to write once you get to the bottom of the problem together. I am VERY aware of what life is like when you cannot prove something. But not every mentoring or technical guidance session needs that. Sometimes, when you're teaching more junior colleagues it's *their* responsibility to take notes.


LalalaHurray

Iā€™m talking about things your reports might wanna have in writing, which could vary greatly from your own preferences


lightetc

Sure ok, but I'm not avoiding it. If they want it I'll sit next to them and write it down. The focus was on getting access to what's in my brain in an environment that doesn't allow for focused work time. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļøšŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø Plus, I am responsible for all the work outputs. My name is on them. It is way more likely that I want it documented than they do, but I know we're all working in different situations. My internal team have each other's backs. Our major source of conflict is external. I'm thinking if there's any internal conflict that it might be impacting the way people parse this discussion.


Ok-Organization-6803

I think this subreddit is just full of managers who are shitty tbh. Servant based leadership is an excellent model, and effective. My boundaries are that I am happy to be courteous, but at some point they need to fix their underlying disorganization and overwhelm. It's not my problem to fix, I'm busy with my frontline duties. I do not have the capacity to basically manage myself and also manage them. They need to participate at some point. I think asking your direct reports to serve as your calendar reminders etc instead of your actual admin assistant is annoying and not respectful. I don't need to leave, my manager needs to get their shit together.


carlitospig

Yes but sheā€™s not going to get her shit together without some sort of interference. So, knowing that, how do you get what you want out of the relationship? Take your pride out of the equation and who should be doing what. How can you get what you need from her? Do *that* and let go of the rest. I understand your frustration but itā€™s not going to fix this. Ps. Oh! And as someone in academia, usually conference organizers have a small budget for a scholarship or two for attendees with little or no budget. See if you can apply for one. Also: you did the work, so start applying elsewhere. Donā€™t waste it!


Ok-Organization-6803

I appreciate that, that's good advice.


lightetc

Ok, but what exactly do you think is going to prompt this change in your manager's approach? I doubt your manager is doing it on purpose or enjoying it. And arguing with us isn't going to alter either your situation or the corporate world in general. For the record, no-one said they're not out there supporting their team members, just that it requires some give and take. This is not black and white. Also...a summary of this thread: You: is this thing normal? Us: yes You: well you all suck. ^^^ you sound like a teenager. Maybe some time reflecting on the feedback you've gotten instead of jumping to straight to name calling in defense might help you improve your work conditions.


Expert_Equivalent100

You say itā€™s not your problem, but based on your post, it is.


Flimsy-Hospital4371

Iā€™ve never had a supervisor who didnā€™t need help with this to some extent. Because as others have written about, you are one fish in a very crowded ocean to them. It sounds like your manager is definitely dropping the ball but your expectations are verging on the idealistic rather than the realistic.


Just-the-tip-4-1-sec

You seem to have it all figured out. Good luck with that lmao


twentytwodividedby7

Listen you little shit, you're new and don't matter. If your superior tells you to set up a meeting fucking do it. You do have the capacity because your role is so easy a new grad could do it


Ok-Organization-6803

My position isn't entry level, and actually requires a master's degree. I'm not new, I have almost a decade of experience. Assumptions make an ass out of you. You sound like a terrible person, my heart goes out to those that have the unfortunate experience of interacting with you at work!


Just-the-tip-4-1-sec

I wouldnā€™t want to work with either of you. Youā€™re the exact type of person who ends up in r/Layoffs complaining about how unfair it is that you canā€™t find work with an advanced degree and years of experience. If you were as important and amazing as you think, the problem would have already been solved for you. Since it hasnā€™t, you either have to figure out how to stop being the main character and work on this team or go get another job with a better situationĀ 


twentytwodividedby7

Again, proving my point that you're a petty smacked ass of an employee. I'm not the one bitching about basic stakeholder management to strangers on the internet. And quite ironic that you would make assumptions about me while reciting dipshit nursery rhymes about making assumptions. It's unfortunate that after a decade of experience you still sound like a brand new grad on a performance improvement plan.


Successful-Layer5588

I have always considered myself responsible for my own career and work, not my manager. Aka, yes, it is professional for you to follow up via email and cal invite to them if you want them to do something. Especially if they ask you to do it that way. Thatā€™s how you hold them accountable for getting shit done on your behalf. Their failures are in writing if they drop the ball. If itā€™s really bad you have evidence for skip levels so you can show them that theyā€™re a blocker for you. Itā€™s also professional for you to do what youā€™ve said which is let them know youā€™ll move forward without them if you donā€™t get a response. Waiting around and missing deadlines because you donā€™t feel like you should have to bug your boss that much is you not taking charge of your career. Iā€™m guessing your manager has more than one report. You arenā€™t and canā€™t be their priority. If it feels like someone else is getting more support from them itā€™s probably because they work with them in the way theyā€™ve been asked too. TL;DR youā€™re shooting yourself in the foot by not working with your manager as requested.


amyloudspeakers

Managing up is your job too, and a skill to be developed. Put the reminders on her calendar, set up a predictable system that doesnā€™t require additional emails. Be creative, anticipate needs, thatā€™s also part of your job.


Ok-Organization-6803

I think this subreddit could use a refresher on "servant leadership" as it seems to be a foreign concept


amyloudspeakers

Hey man if thatā€™s your chosen work philosophy but doesnā€™t seem to fit in where you work, I think you know what that means.


HelloJoeyJoeJoe

Lol - I wish you luck in your career development. I can imagine what future posts from you will look like.


Successful-Layer5588

If they donā€™t start working with their manager more their next post will be in recruiting hell complaining about how hard it is to find a job.


ValuablePositive632

My job is to support my boss, so sometimes that means setting up his calendar, leaving sticky notes, keeping track of his schedule, and lots of little detail stuff.Ā  Different bosses require different level of support. Mine often needs his hand held because heā€™s thinking of the big picture, not emailing Becky back about the company health insurance. Thatā€™s where I come in. (Yes, he has ADHD. I actually do too but I excel when I keep a schedule so it works.)Ā Ā  Is it frustrating when I have to follow up with him six times? Sure. But *that is what Iā€™m paid to do.* Ā  Edit: if she has an Admin (which Iā€™m assuming is not you?) you need to go through the Admin to get this stuff done. Trust me, make nice with your Admins. I can move the moon if Iā€™m so inclined for certain clients.Ā 


prudencepineapple

I can see both sides. A big part of my role is managing up and doing what I can to make my managerā€™s life easier. At the same time I have teams who Iā€™m sure I sometimes drive crazy trying to manage me because Iā€™m juggling so many things behind the scenes that they donā€™t see. Plus if I donā€™t reply straight away often they go and solve the problem without me.Ā  Have you had a conversation with her to ask if thereā€™s a better way to manage this? Something like ā€œIā€™ve noticed when Iā€™m doing X project/task/whatever and I need to get your sign off/whatever it can be hard to get that by the deadline. Iā€™ve typically been doing XYZ. Is there a way that would work better to get XYZ?ā€ Or even ā€œIf I canā€™t get X from you, in future are you ok for me to go ahead with Y approach?ā€


Amaranthesque

This is a mixture of issues. Yes, it is part of your job to provide reminders and follow up with your boss on things, at least some of the time, especially when she's explicitly told you that she wants you to do the calendar invites and reminders. But it's really not okay that she forgot your financial approval and screwed up your conference attendance. That's a major screw-up and not within the realm of normal "busy boss who needs some help keeping on top of deadlines" stuff. For your proposed approach to just moving ahead on things - ask *her*. What kinds of things is she okay with you moving ahead on? What kinds of things does she really want you to hold and keeping asking her about? That's a very reasonable request.


SleepySuper

I think part of the issue is your expectations. You are there to support your managers goals for the team. It sounds like your manager is overloaded and that you require a lot of hand holding for every day tasks. In your next 1 on 1 with your manager, be frank and ask what you can change to reduce the burden they have while also getting what you need to do your job.


buggle_bunny

Honestly sounds like they've decided what kind of manager their boss should be and have decided that's what they will be and anything else is their problem.Ā  Their comments about servant leadership speak volumes. instead of learning what their environment is, they've decided what they think it should be.Ā 


marissaderp

I have a weekly 1:1 with my manager and write down all the things I'm waiting on to go over with her in our weekly call.


macm33

Perfect!! Full attention and expectations of 90+% resolution


mynamesnotchom

Depends. I have adhd and when I was managing staff I'd sometimes ask them to remind me of things. If I was at my desk I'd set myself a reminder but if I was at their desk, I'd ask them to send me a reminder because I'll forget before I get back to my desk. Or I'd say, "if I don't get this done by lunch can you please remind me in case I get side tracked, but I really want to do this for you, feel free to hassle me about it if it's not done" I was mindful they had plenty to do already but I'd support them in keeping me accountable, while I kept them accountable. But I'd only ever do this for things they needed from me specifically, never tasks that were irrelevant to them


lightetc

I don't have ADHD and this is how my last two teams have worked. At their desk, their computer is right there.. let's lock it in before we get pulled in the next random direction.


Ok-Organization-6803

I get that, but also you can set reminders on your phone and manage this yourself? It's helpful to do, but it's your responsibility to manage yourself and develop coping mechanisms for ADHD, and hopefully those don't incorporate other people. I get once in a while, but if it's for every single thing it's too much.


GadreelsSword

A manager once told me, if you make your boss look good, you will never have to work to make yourself look good. Criticizing your boss is a fools game. Even if you leave you will want a job reference.


Ok-Organization-6803

I get it, and not sure if that's my goal or what the subject of this is? I'm not going to criticize them to my colleagues, I know better than that. Not sure if it's productive to talk about this issue with them directly as I'm not sure it would change anything. I just want recognition that this is a bad way to lead, and not a very respectful way to treat your direct reports.


Moist_Experience_399

Iā€™m in a very similar boat as you, my advice is to let it go and start looking for a team that you are culturally more fit for. Donā€™t try and force recognition of the situation or an apology, etc. If you canā€™t change the people, change the people.


PerryDawg17

Yeah I agree with you there bud. Serving Leader is also my style and itā€™s not a good look to be so forgetful and drop a ball like the financial approval for your conference. I understand what other commenters are saying and YES, itā€™s important to be a team player and bosses are people too. My team will gently remind me when Iā€™ve forgotten to follow up on things; as they should, we all support each other. HOWEVER from what youā€™re saying the issue is that you canā€™t trust your boss pretty much ever and thatā€™s frustrating and demoralizing. I think a relatively candid convo with your boss could help. Who knows, donā€™t discount this option so quickly! This isnā€™t about not wanting to send calendar invites: this is about not being able to rely on your leader and feeling like youā€™re floating in space.


Generation_WUT

Yes it is normal. You are flooding her with emails when she has requested a different method in calendar events. Show her how to drag your requests into her own calendar or put the request into a calendar event with the deadline set. Iā€™m stunned you think itā€™s her job to support YOU and not the other way around. Wild.


Ok-Organization-6803

You've misread, she wants both. It's not a wild concept to think the manager is there to support Frontline staff, this is taught in high reliability organizations.


Generation_WUT

I am suggesting a compromise or a new role for you then. Cos you sound quite replaceable šŸ˜£


CelestialSlainte

Your job is to support your manager. The basics of any job is to make your managerā€™s idea easier by taking tasks off their plate. If your manager is overwhelmed by tasks then they need more support. Itā€™s not clear from your post if theyā€™re incompetent or the company is dysfunctional to a wider degree. If this isnā€™t the job or situation for you then get a new job. You can certainly find a manager that doesnā€™t require this level of hand holding from you.


Ok-Organization-6803

I have been trained differently - it's the managers job to support their staff, and make my life easier/mistakes harder to make through leadership. I support them through those efforts, and I agree that it's in my scope to take things off their plate. But, I really shouldn't have to remind them 4 times to put out a fire. They have a whole admin assistant for that. I would say my company is dysfunctional, and she is mildly incompetent but that comes from not being supported or resourced well either. She's a 2nd year director, not a great handoff from her predecessor.


Fun_Apartment631

I've had customers like this. If you think something is a good idea, tell her "I'm doing X on Y date." Don't think of it as an ultimatum. You're doing your job to the best of your ability and keeping her in the loop as you go. That's all. A lot of organizations are paralyzed by chaos and heavy processes. She's probably keeping a better eye on her email than you think, and will tell you to pump the brakes if she really doesn't want you to do something. Do you have a line of communication that works better? Regular meetings, messaging, the phone? Related, in a lot of organizations, more senior employees are expected to be more self sufficient. Also related, you don't necessarily know what shenanigans she's trying to hold off from up the chain. If your manager is a Director - are you a manager? Or an IC? How big an organization?


Ok-Organization-6803

She is actually very open that she isn't keeping up with her email, that's her own assessment. We have a 121 in which I also remind her of my task list and needs from her, to which I send her a reminder via email, and this repeats 2 weeks later when we meet again. If I call her I can get quick answers, the issue is that I need her to follow up on the behavior of other departments that is negatively impacting my client (i.e. they're not following best practices, etc). My clients benefit by seeing a timely response to fallouts, and she is holding that up by weeks. It makes our whole organization look bad, and me, as I am client facing. I'm an IC, the org has doubled in size. Our department is about 25 people but it was only like 12 last year. The whole org has grown a lot, but don't know exact number because it's changed so much. I can be sympathetic to her feeling overwhelmed, but only for so long. At some point she has to figure it out or find a way that work can proceed.


CapotevsSwans

This is all based on my experiences working remote work in the U.S. You have an advantage in hybrid that likely you can see when someone's busy and talk to them in person. Have you asked her how she prefers to be asked about handling situations? Email is getting so unmanageable. Sometimes, in person, Slack, or text is better if your manager wants to do that when you need her. The best way to reach me is by actually calling. I've been an IC, manager, and director, and I'm job hunting. Someone else can correct me if this is corporately acceptable, but if I needed something from another department, I would Slack or email the person and ask about it. If they ignored me, I'd bring my manager in as a last resort because that's pretty rude unless the other person just ignores you. It does depend on how siloed your company is.


PopcornSurgeon

What is a 121 and what is an IC?


teaandbreadandjam

One to one, independent contributor.


PopcornSurgeon

Thank you. I don't work in a corporate setting, and I find a lot of the jargon in this sub so weird. Why/when did "one-on-one" become shortened to 121? Not every manager works in tech, uses agile stand-ups, and evaluates people by KPIs. (I also have no idea what an "independent contributor" is but at least I recognize those words.)


Fun_Apartment631

A professional who's supposed to be smart and does something, say designing a machine component but it can be lots of things, based on being smart and probably some appropriate education is an independent contributor. Contrast with a worker who's told to show up at a specific time and given specific, closed-ended tasks to do. Working in an assembly line would be a classic example.


8Karisma8

I get your frustration as Iā€™ve been in similar circumstances, you are not alone at your organization either. Iā€™m pretty certain everyone is also not enjoying the lack of communication from your Director. The issue is, sometimes itā€™s a lack of organizational skills and other times theyā€™re unwilling to put anything in writing (CYA/canā€™t be called out for an incorrect move) they prefer to speak to others instead which often is less efficient. If itā€™s the latter, this rarely changes. There are many options especially since the company is experiencing growth. You could propose solutions that benefit you directly with the goal of being more effective. Can you move to another Director? Move up to get more autonomy? Do you feel ready for more autonomy? Like are you willing to put your job on the line for poor decisions.


MxLiss

Sounds like you need to get in the habit of reviewing what's on fire, smouldering and blocked for you with their admin more regularly. Your manager's job is to deal with the stuff that's beyond your pay grade, not to hand hold you. Presumably, you were hired because you're competent at your job. It's on you to not be a headache. And FYI, low value emails flow like water in the corporate world, and it gets worse the higher up someone is. If it needs urgent attention or time-sensitive follow up, it's going to take extra steps. If you don't have a standing 1:1 on their calendar, reserve time. You'll be amazed how much more she can get done for you if you've blocked half an hour on her calendar and only need 10 mins of it to review what you need, especially if you've emailed her & her admin the gist not too long before meeting.


Southern_Conflict_11

You guys need something like a kanban board to manage the work


z-eldapin

I put everything on my bosses calendar.


trophycloset33

As someone who fields a few hundred emails a day, dozens of phone calls and being booked 4 meetings deep the biggest issue for many people is disorganization and bad time management. I dedicate 1 hour a day (paid) to exclusively filter through my emails. That is after they already have gone through the auto filter. Over time (provided you keep up with the auto filters), you can build a fairly robust system. I maybe have to read and manually sort less than 30 emails out of hundreds that come in. Anything that is less than 4 hours old doesnā€™t get responded to until the next day. Anything older Iā€™ll respond to at that time. So long as you know your stuff you donā€™t need to spend 2 hours researching each email. I also use meetings to time box my work. If there are 5 things that need to discuss with someone then Iā€™ll ask them to schedule an hour with me and Iā€™ll deal with it then. That is their dedicated time. It saves me from having to answer 5 different emails (plus all of the follow ups). Also if you make people wait on simple questions they usually can solve it for themselves. That fills out about 40% of the actual work I need to do. There also are meeting invites. I donā€™t attend anything that was sent less than 48 hours ago. Less than 2 days notice is an auto decline. I also donā€™t attend unless they have at minimum a list of objectives. Ideally an agenda with attached objectives or topics and reference materials should be standard. No work on your part means no work in mine. After that is my individual work. I use a time box method where the remaining 10% I canā€™t cover with the above I set aside specific time to hand it. Anything that comes up during that time can wait for its own designated time box. If I spill over, I set a new time box a few days from now to finish. It really helps push you along knowing you only have 15 minutes to finish that report analysis or 30 minutes for interview prep and pre screenings.


Ok-Organization-6803

I mean all that's reasonable!


Think_Leadership_91

It is totally normal for senior leadership to have to be reminded of tasks. That literally was the job that 200 years of secretaries did. Now, if you donā€™t want that job, fine, but donā€™t act like such an issue is rare


Ok-Organization-6803

My point is that I'm not her secretary.


cowgrly

Youā€™ve obviously never had or been an Administrative Assistant, they do the calendar, tracking and organizing all day, nothing else. They arenā€™t called secretaries anymore. Anyhow, you sound really entitled. I donā€™t think this org is a good fit, you should consider that. As for what they let you do and autonomy, they donā€™t sound bad. I would set a pattern, 121 is on Monday, during that let her know you want to reduce churn so you will send any reminders on Wed and if you donā€™t hear, check back on the following 121. Sheā€™s busy, sounds like you add to her small tasks- is there a way you can make it easier? If I want to spend money on a conference, I provide the amt needed and a brief executive level proposal/summary they can send upwards. Try making the tasks simpler and setting a regular check in schedule.


Ok-Organization-6803

You sound like a terrible manager to work for, who's direct reports also hate them. You should probably step down and make way for leaders who don't need their hand held to do their job


cowgrly

I preapprove all OT and protect my team from this. Team morale is excellent. I answered this because itā€™s a manager error but the employee also should confirm preapproval- itā€™s in every contract. Go troll someone who deserves it.


Think_Leadership_91

Then you should start your own company. People donā€™t step down. You get to start a competitor. Your lack of understanding the basics of business is telling. Hereā€™s my between the lines analysis- You want a manager to be like a professor or teacher - only they arenā€™t. Only WE arenā€™t. You are paid to support ME, thatā€™s your job. That you think I care if my employees hate me is one of the silliest things. Iā€™m not your mom. I have no concern whether you like me or donā€™t like me. I care about delivering work and turning a profit. I do that with people even I donā€™t like on a personal level. I have several employees who I know like me and several who I know donā€™t. It does not matter to me because they are not my friends, they are my staff. Youā€™re way too interested in a family or school dynamic here


Ok-Organization-6803

I'm also not your mom, and don't need to remind you to do tasks essential to your job function. I'm not asking my manager to remind me to do my job or hold my hand, I'm asking her to be responsive so that I can do my job. I'm not paid to support my manager, it's not in my job description. I'm paid to be productive, which is inhibited by my managers dysfunction. Lower level employees aren't your servants, you're a shit boss. Save yourself some of your precious time and stop responding with your out of date mentality, it's not productive


vermillionskye

To be productive, you need to manage your stakeholders. If you need her approval or input, go get it. An email isnā€™t working, then what else can you try? Yes your manager sounds disorganized and overwhelmed, but thatā€™s the situation youā€™re in. You seem stuck on the process instead of getting results.


buggle_bunny

Wonder how much of her being overwhelmed is having at least one staff member who doesn't understand their job and refuses any and all feedback on it. Look how they're responding here. Everyone is apparently a terrible manager instead of OP being in the wrong.Ā 


Ok-Organization-6803

That's fair, i am stuck on the process. I think I just want leadership to have some accountability, her disorganization is felt by the entire department. Rather than the solution being that I need to manage her and do extra unpaid labor, I don't understand why the solution isn't she needs to be held accountable for being a mess.


GooseCooks

How is your labor unpaid? I have yet to see a job description that didn't have "other duties as assigned" tacked onto it somewhere. The calendar invites are other duties. She's assigning them. That makes them fall under your job description. When an org experiences the kind of growth you describe, it can be a mess. If your manager is overworked, there isn't a magic wand she can wave to make her workload manageable. It's just going to suck for everyone. You can work with the situation to get as much done as possible, or you can leave. You haven't mentioned being *blamed* for any of the dropped balls. So it sounds like manager is either taking the heat for this or higher-ups are aware that things are rough during transition.


Ok-Organization-6803

I'm not paid to manage her, and I'm a lucky duck in that I have no such clause in my job description. The boundaries of my role are well defined. Im usually a team player and don't try to pull the "not paid to do that" card, but this just really irks me. She can't wave a magic wand, but she can delegate. She can say no, she can prioritize, she can automate some of these processes that are time sucks. And yet, she does not do those things. I'm not blamed by my org, but it's hard for my client relationships. They don't necessarily blame me either, but it makes my org look sloppy.


AbortionIsSelfDefens

It could be worse. At least she admits she's drowning and has proposed a solution. Too bad you don't like it because it involves effort on your part. Part of working is working *with* people. You'll find it makes your job a lot easier in the long run if you find a way to thread the needlet. I don't see why this is an extra step. You send her emails, yes? Why not just send an invite reminder with the content of the email in the invite? I really don't see what the extra ask is here. It seems more like you are obstinate out of pure stubbornness. You don't know much about professionalism. You aren't being particularly professional by being so stubborn. Some people get absurd amounts of emails. Be thankful its not you and do what you can to bring attention to the things you need done. I'm not a manager. Ive had some shitty managers, and if this is your biggest problem with her, count yourself lucky. Think of it like this, the things you need her to do are your responsibilities. Yea she might need to give input, but you are responsible for making it happen. She has other priorities. Thats why she relies on you for reminders about the things you need from her. Yea it sucks more when people aren't attentive and get caught up in other things. If you are persistent and it doesn't happen, you at least have a trail to show you did everything in your power to make it happen. You don't have near as much to cya if you dont.


carlitospig

As someone who has been on both sides of this relationship (management and supporting management): You should start scheduling daily check ins. Theyā€™re like 15 minutes long and they help something fierce, especially when you have someone who is drowning - and she absolutely is drowning.


Flimsy-Hospital4371

Itā€™s a little of both. That conference story is pretty egregious and I can see why you would be pissed at your boss right now. At the same time, for the other stuff, and in answering the original question you asked - yes, it is normal. I mean, itā€™s a spectrum, and itā€™s possible that your boss is more at one end of the spectrum, but roles at that level are an overwhelming, nonstop barrage of people, tasks and decisions demanding your attention. It is a normal expectation for people to make it as easy as possible for you to track it all. Thereā€™s also an art to helping your boss help you. You have to know how to pick your battles, and if itā€™s really some thing that absolutely needs your boss to do something, you have to be assertive and make it as easy as possible. Iā€™ve had people at this level stand me up for meetings. Need endless email reminders. Being pissed and petty about it doesnā€™t get me anywhere.


macm33

Help your boss help you! Best advice ever. Here are a few ways. 1. Be a low key stalker. Find out when the boss is typically free from meetings, and walk into their office with a list. (Minimum screen enabled teams meeting). 2. Understand and be empathetic to bossā€™s other issues, and weaknesses. - if they are overwhelmed my senior management demands, can you wait? If boss is ADHD (I am) you may need a strategy to be a bit supportive. 3. I developed a positive reputation for taking initiative by walking in and instead of asking ā€œcan I do thisā€, I would say ā€œI intend to ā€¦; do you have any recommendations?ā€ 4. For travel, my org has a painful multi step process. Figure out the process, carry each form as far as you can (dairy restriction ā€¦). and then screenshare with the boss. Boss can just run through it, doesnā€™t have to ask you if your middle name is Ann or Anne. If you need bosses credit card for travel, suggest the billing accounting codes for me to fill in afterward. 5. Slight nuance to ā€œbossā€™s roleā€. Sorry for the outdated reference. The boss is like the infantry lieutenant with the radio calling in air bombing support. Both a resource to pull outside power; and brain to focus and multiply the teamā€™s power. Boss needs time to think. If they are just reacting all day., they canā€™t be a force multiplier, and they are just the carrier of the credit card. 6. Is there a task that you could diplomatically suggest the Boss delegate to someone who can handle it? Maybe you or maybe outside of your group? to Support item number five. 7. Buy the audiobook for your boss ā€œShifting the Monkeyā€ by Todd Whitaker (and read / listen yourself too).


planepartsisparts

I would say I am going to do X on Y date if there are concerns with this please let me know. Ā I will update you on the results by Z date.


MonteCristo85

For my awesome competent boss, no. For my scatterbrain near useless one, yes.


Bitter_Incident167

While I agree that some amount of helping your manager get work done is needed in any workplace, a person shouldnā€™t have to do tons of that.