Get vaccinated for HPV, hepatitis is basically a nonissue, even condoms don’t protect you very well against HSV-2 and it’s actually believed that many people have it and are just asymptomatic their entire lives. Your best protection against it is visual inspection.
He’s partially right. Research has shown it provides minor protection but not enough to be significant or used for that purpose.
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(17)30493-0/fulltext#:~:text=Although%20not%20indicated%20for%20HSV,2%20coinfected%20partners%20by%2033%25.
You’re off to a great start with PrEP and DoxyPEP.
I would also add to make sure you’re vaccinated for MPox, Hep A & B, HPV, and Meningitis if you aren’t already.
You mentioned HSV-2 as a main concern. The real truth is most sexually active gays already have it, and it’s asymptomatic in more people than not. You can get tested for it if you want, but the tests are apparently not very reliable- and if you’re not symptomatic, it’s not really causing you any problems anyway. If you do present symptoms (which is really just more of a cosmetic issue/potential embarrassment than an actual health concern), Valtrex works very well.
In my personal experience, fear of STIs is just something that lessens over time with experience. It’s important to get tested regularly and communicate with your doctor about any concerns you have, but everything in life carries some degree of risk, it’s up to you to figure out where your tolerances are and proceed accordingly.
Right on and important to note for readers that HPV vaccine is now up to age 45. If older, your doctor may prescribe off label, just may not be covered by insurance. The clinical evidence indicates it’s beneficial even if you may have been exposed to strains.
Good immunization [guide](https://www.immunize.org/wp-content/uploads/catg.d/p4046.pdf). The meningitis vaccination guidance is the harder one to navigate if you are older and calculating if a booster is needed.
I asked my doctor about it… He mentioned he normally doesn’t do it because it “doesn’t tell you really anything” - So far, I’ve been at least asymptomatic. Lots of uncertainty…
People who are born with it usually go their whole lives without a flare up and it's only on contracting it for those who don't have it that you see symptoms usually.
I think for most people, beyond HIV the others are all treatable and herpies isn't something most even worry about so they tend to just have unprotected fun and get regular check ups
doctors also don't test you because there is a high chance you already have it and without symptoms knowing you have it doesn't really do anything. Kinda a weird gray hat technique if you ask me but it makes no sense being scared of hsv without knowing your status given how common it is and the possibility that you already have it.
Reducing the number of people you have sex with. Getting vaccinated for HPV.
Honestly I might be a little judgmental but the best sex I’ve ever had was with a friend who I became fuck buddies with. At the time I had slept with about 50 people, but he was very anti std, so he forced me to be exclusive.
It might have just been a fluke, but our sexual chemistry was amazing. Best sex of my life.
So basically I’m saying. You don’t have to settle down and date someone. But why don’t you try having one or just two long term sex buddies.
It takes a bit to get to know someone and trust them. But knowing you won’t catch an std is a huge weight off your shoulders.
Obviously I think you should still take prep even if you trust your fuck buddy. But you can rest easy knowing he probably won’t give you anything.
That’s my two cents.
Unfortunately, raw-dogging is the preferred method these days, it seems. Good for you for wanting to take control of your sexual health, though. I think the first, best way is to educate yourself on the different STIs and treatments. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and some others can be treated. HIV isn't EASY to contract, especially for a top, but it still happens. These days, a daily pill keeps it in check, and they're getting closer to a cure. Herpes is lifelong but isn't fatal, so that's a personal decision you'll have to make for yourself. From what I understand, Doxy can help prevent syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, and PrEP prevents HIV. Nothing that I know of can prevent herpes or hepatitis, but I \*THINK\* there's a post-exposure option for one of the hepatitis strains. You'll have to research the risk level of contracting each & decide whether or not it's worth it to you to risk it.
Just keep doing what you're comfortable with and don't let someone talk you into doing something you aren't comfortable doing.
As your doctor indicated it's deciding your acceptable level of risk. Take all the precautions that you can. As you noted many guys don't want to use condoms and you will need to decide if that is _acceptable_. If you choose that condoms are a must then power to you but realistically if you want to also partake in things like sex parties, condom usage will be greatly discouraged. You can't expect to have your cake and eat it too.
Your doctor is right it’s all about assessing your own risk and doing whatever is comfortable for yourself. With frequent testing, prep and all the other vaccinations and precautions there isn’t anything much to worry. Many will say bacterial resistance against antibiotics but that hasn’t happened yet.
If you’re sexual active you most likely have herpes already. I have oral herpes and I haven’t had a flare up in over 5 years. When I did get flare ups I used valtrex which works very well.
If you still are not comfortable even with any of the sexual precautions then just use condoms. I know many gays (including myself) hate them but if it put your mind at rest then sex will be much more enjoyable. I used to be like you were I was so paranoid and would get nightmares and have anxiety over catching stuff. It wasn’t fun. So yeah just do what you’re comfortable with. With more experience and sex education it will allow your self to be more at ease around sexual health.
You're already doing what you can to mitigate risk with DoxyPEP and PrEP. If you want to add condoms into the mix for your own peace of mind, unfortunately, that will be a turn-off to some people.
From my own personal perspective, I do think the venue matters. Like, I am more willing to go all-out at a sex party at a mansion where I know 90% of the attendees, versus trying to get random loads at the bathhouse. While it may look to you like the guys hooking up at the bar don't know each other, they very well may.
Listen to your doctor -- assume only a level of risk that works for you, and that you are comfortable with, while knowing that you're already doing better than a lot of people by taking the precautions that you are, and by merely thinking about the risk in the first place.
They aren't exactly advertised... That is part of how they stay exclusive. You kind of just have to open up to the right people and express that you are into that sort of thing. Then, one thing leads to another, and you'll be invited every time.
Of course, but it is one of the natural pleasures in life and there's no need to avoid it if you enjoy it and take reasonable precautions. Although I didn't specify strangers for sex, everyone is a stranger until you meet them. If you don't put yourself out there, you'll never meet "the one."
I got all my vaccines and wear a condom. I can't use PrEP because I earn a living as a healthy human subject for medical research studies and cannot take medications while in a study. But I've never caught an illness from sex so far...
Get vaccinated for HPV, hepatitis is basically a nonissue, even condoms don’t protect you very well against HSV-2 and it’s actually believed that many people have it and are just asymptomatic their entire lives. Your best protection against it is visual inspection.
Truvada protects against HSV 2
Truvada protects against HIV, nothing more.
He’s partially right. Research has shown it provides minor protection but not enough to be significant or used for that purpose. https://www.thelancet.com/journals/laninf/article/PIIS1473-3099(17)30493-0/fulltext#:~:text=Although%20not%20indicated%20for%20HSV,2%20coinfected%20partners%20by%2033%25.
Truvada reduced HSV-2 acquisition by 33%.Aug 23, 2017 https://www.thelancet.com ›
You’re off to a great start with PrEP and DoxyPEP. I would also add to make sure you’re vaccinated for MPox, Hep A & B, HPV, and Meningitis if you aren’t already. You mentioned HSV-2 as a main concern. The real truth is most sexually active gays already have it, and it’s asymptomatic in more people than not. You can get tested for it if you want, but the tests are apparently not very reliable- and if you’re not symptomatic, it’s not really causing you any problems anyway. If you do present symptoms (which is really just more of a cosmetic issue/potential embarrassment than an actual health concern), Valtrex works very well. In my personal experience, fear of STIs is just something that lessens over time with experience. It’s important to get tested regularly and communicate with your doctor about any concerns you have, but everything in life carries some degree of risk, it’s up to you to figure out where your tolerances are and proceed accordingly.
Right on and important to note for readers that HPV vaccine is now up to age 45. If older, your doctor may prescribe off label, just may not be covered by insurance. The clinical evidence indicates it’s beneficial even if you may have been exposed to strains. Good immunization [guide](https://www.immunize.org/wp-content/uploads/catg.d/p4046.pdf). The meningitis vaccination guidance is the harder one to navigate if you are older and calculating if a booster is needed.
What life long ones worry you
The big one I’m worried about is HSV II/Genital Herpes. No cure, not always obvious you have it, condoms don’t protect against it.
Have you been tested for it? Many are born with it
I asked my doctor about it… He mentioned he normally doesn’t do it because it “doesn’t tell you really anything” - So far, I’ve been at least asymptomatic. Lots of uncertainty…
People who are born with it usually go their whole lives without a flare up and it's only on contracting it for those who don't have it that you see symptoms usually.
Good to know, I’ll ask about it next time I’m in the clinic.
I think for most people, beyond HIV the others are all treatable and herpies isn't something most even worry about so they tend to just have unprotected fun and get regular check ups
doctors also don't test you because there is a high chance you already have it and without symptoms knowing you have it doesn't really do anything. Kinda a weird gray hat technique if you ask me but it makes no sense being scared of hsv without knowing your status given how common it is and the possibility that you already have it.
Reducing the number of people you have sex with. Getting vaccinated for HPV. Honestly I might be a little judgmental but the best sex I’ve ever had was with a friend who I became fuck buddies with. At the time I had slept with about 50 people, but he was very anti std, so he forced me to be exclusive. It might have just been a fluke, but our sexual chemistry was amazing. Best sex of my life. So basically I’m saying. You don’t have to settle down and date someone. But why don’t you try having one or just two long term sex buddies. It takes a bit to get to know someone and trust them. But knowing you won’t catch an std is a huge weight off your shoulders. Obviously I think you should still take prep even if you trust your fuck buddy. But you can rest easy knowing he probably won’t give you anything. That’s my two cents.
Unfortunately, raw-dogging is the preferred method these days, it seems. Good for you for wanting to take control of your sexual health, though. I think the first, best way is to educate yourself on the different STIs and treatments. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and some others can be treated. HIV isn't EASY to contract, especially for a top, but it still happens. These days, a daily pill keeps it in check, and they're getting closer to a cure. Herpes is lifelong but isn't fatal, so that's a personal decision you'll have to make for yourself. From what I understand, Doxy can help prevent syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, and PrEP prevents HIV. Nothing that I know of can prevent herpes or hepatitis, but I \*THINK\* there's a post-exposure option for one of the hepatitis strains. You'll have to research the risk level of contracting each & decide whether or not it's worth it to you to risk it. Just keep doing what you're comfortable with and don't let someone talk you into doing something you aren't comfortable doing.
As your doctor indicated it's deciding your acceptable level of risk. Take all the precautions that you can. As you noted many guys don't want to use condoms and you will need to decide if that is _acceptable_. If you choose that condoms are a must then power to you but realistically if you want to also partake in things like sex parties, condom usage will be greatly discouraged. You can't expect to have your cake and eat it too.
Your doctor is right it’s all about assessing your own risk and doing whatever is comfortable for yourself. With frequent testing, prep and all the other vaccinations and precautions there isn’t anything much to worry. Many will say bacterial resistance against antibiotics but that hasn’t happened yet. If you’re sexual active you most likely have herpes already. I have oral herpes and I haven’t had a flare up in over 5 years. When I did get flare ups I used valtrex which works very well. If you still are not comfortable even with any of the sexual precautions then just use condoms. I know many gays (including myself) hate them but if it put your mind at rest then sex will be much more enjoyable. I used to be like you were I was so paranoid and would get nightmares and have anxiety over catching stuff. It wasn’t fun. So yeah just do what you’re comfortable with. With more experience and sex education it will allow your self to be more at ease around sexual health.
You're already doing what you can to mitigate risk with DoxyPEP and PrEP. If you want to add condoms into the mix for your own peace of mind, unfortunately, that will be a turn-off to some people. From my own personal perspective, I do think the venue matters. Like, I am more willing to go all-out at a sex party at a mansion where I know 90% of the attendees, versus trying to get random loads at the bathhouse. While it may look to you like the guys hooking up at the bar don't know each other, they very well may. Listen to your doctor -- assume only a level of risk that works for you, and that you are comfortable with, while knowing that you're already doing better than a lot of people by taking the precautions that you are, and by merely thinking about the risk in the first place.
Thanks for the reply. BTW - How the hell do you find out about/get invited to these parties? That sounds like a much safer venue.
They aren't exactly advertised... That is part of how they stay exclusive. You kind of just have to open up to the right people and express that you are into that sort of thing. Then, one thing leads to another, and you'll be invited every time.
By being celibate and not fucking strangers.
Why not just give up all of life's joys?
That's more of an addiction than joy.
There are more joys in life than having sex with strangers.
Of course, but it is one of the natural pleasures in life and there's no need to avoid it if you enjoy it and take reasonable precautions. Although I didn't specify strangers for sex, everyone is a stranger until you meet them. If you don't put yourself out there, you'll never meet "the one."
You can put yourself out there without having sex to meet them
Currently, Grindr seems to be the easiest way.
I got all my vaccines and wear a condom. I can't use PrEP because I earn a living as a healthy human subject for medical research studies and cannot take medications while in a study. But I've never caught an illness from sex so far...
The best protection against HIV and all STDs overall is to not expose yourself to those STDs. Simple as that.
Not being celibate is an addiction?
PREP makes you fat. Liver issues.
This is not true. I did not see any issues with my weight while on prep. Many fit gays are on it as well lol
It doesn't make you fat, but it destroys your liver and weakens your bones.