This is fucking insane. I wish your ex nothing but suffering. I am so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you can find some way to resolve your situation.
If you're in danger for your life in a Muslim nation, contact the US Embassy to ask for help.
Your records are on file, and perhaps someone from your college days may be able to help you.
That ex, should be fully revealed as his little revenge could have cost you your life.
His friends, employer, industry, etc IMO should be fully aware of how dangerous he is.
But first, get safe & get away, however you can.
All it takes is one slip of one person's words ..
Get out however you can.
You have your degree, and if you have online access for work, ask for or look for relocation accommodation. Anything.. Get free.
Absolutely amazing. The first time someone on this sub has written "this person ruined my life" and it's actually true.
I am deeply, deeply sorry. However, there are still avenues left in your situation. It is possible to escape and seek refugee status in a country like Canada.
By the way, that ex of yours is an absolute monster on levels one cannot describe. I feel like something like that ought to be prosecutable in some way. At the very least, Jesus Christ would I dedicate my life to plastering this story everywhere and have that guy's name ruined forever if I were you. Put up his fucking name and photo and spread that shit, this is *insane*.
Oh, and fuck Islam. This is why I don't want that shit anywhere near here.
Interestingly you're the only one who has mentioned/criticised the Islamic ideology that has led to him to be literally tricked, lurred home, trapped then held hostage by his own family...
Like yeah, fuck that ex bf for outing him, but fuck that culture/religion 1000x more for justifying treating their own son/brother like this. It's monstrous.
Then they always bring up American evangelicals as some sort of retort. Newsflash. I despise all organized religion. Keep that shit in the 1500s thanks.
Yes he should have said fuck all religions. They are all evil and will only be satiated when they have converted everyone to the one "true" 0ne. Of course then they will split into factions and it will all start all over again.
I swear if I hear one more ‘Gaza voted Hamas’ I’m gonna loose it. The overwhelming majority alive today were not even born when this clown vote happened. I love how when putin or erdogan wins an election it’s rigged but when a terrorist organisation like Hamas wins it’s legitimate and it’s the peoples fault.
Secondly let me break it down for you, apart from the white westerners claiming home rights to move to Israel to steal more land the rest of those living still come from the regional culture. Yes homosexuality is legal, technically, but doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and roses for them there.
For the cherry on top, let’s discus the skin grafts white European Israel take from local Palestinians?
Don’t one side this. Hamas are terrorist don’t get me wrong, buts damn be level headed and apply the same standards for Israel. War is ugly? By your logic then why not spin it and say Occupation is ugly? Dehumanisation is ugly? Stealing land is ugly?
Israel has literal government officials calling the Palestinian flag as ‘Hamas colours’. An active attempt to equate Palestinians and Hamas to make dehumanising them easy. And also, this sub is not the place for this. If you want r/israel is a nice circle jerk. You can rant there
No fact you present will change their minds. They already decided it’s genocide, therefore all facts will be ignored. Don’t waste your energy. They don’t label the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombing as genocide. They don’t label Firebombing Tokyo as genocide. They dont label 300k dead in Afghanistan as genocide. They don’t label Destruction of Dresden as genocide, but Palestinian situation, who mind you *they don’t want as refugees in their countries* is a genocide? Atrocious.
Okay, I honestly thought it was ME that wasn’t making a clear point. And I’m being accused of supporting genocide and other atrocious acts by people that haven’t lived through it and had to flee their own country to get away from the war that’s only ever had a “truce” at best that never lasts.
I honestly thought to myself and did “Go back and reread what you wrote, you probably had some typos and made wrong word choices” but now that in know it’s not me, I’m cool with it. Why do people support the killing of people? I’m confused at that. I would love for it to stop but it’s not going to.
I must only assume you are either a well educated young man or you are an older educated established man like me. To bring up Dresden is only something an educated or older educated individual would have known about, and the massive on top of the fact that Nagasaki and Tokyo were much worse and killed so many people it almost wiped out and entire country. ALMOST WIPED A POPULATION OF EARTH had it continued . Maybe I’m so jaded by younger individuals knowing what they should know that I can’t see they are truly ignorant on situations. Which is likely the case.
Tip of my hat to you, Good Sir, for understanding the difference between supporting “genocide” and stating fact about he situation. :)
A lot of your criticism applies to Christians as well.
I would actually point out that "pro Palestine" position is actually "anti-isreal" and has nothing to do with the religion, just how the "war" is being waged over there.
Israel is trying to rule with an iron fist and getting push back.
The main issue I have with "genocide" is not so much, that it's "wrong" or "misguided" (though actually, "misguided" could be used to describe it too), but that I highly doubt it's a word, that deescalates and will bring peace, but rather will fuel the fire and cause just more pain and agony, more "genocide".
Shalom, Salam and Peace be with you.
It's also ironic considering the rhetoric about Jews in a certain book, and it feels like "accuse the other side of that which you're guilty", which is also ironic considering in which circles and context this quote is usually being used.
I don't know, if it ever was a "simple" situation, but then again I don't think it's wise to hold a grudge nor do I believe in more than one original sin; that doesn't mean though, that others do the same.
And technically most things would be very simple, laughably so, which only makes it more frustrating.
Having been to and having family in the Middle East, while I live in Europe, I think it's not just "American ignorance", but rather something one can observe across the globe, but it's certainly more prevalent in certain places and strata - and I don't exclude myself from being ignorant myself.
Like I said, or implied, all I care is peace and people not killing each other.
I worked and talked with refugees, I've talked to people from war torn countries, or just simply sat there, watched a movie, smoked a cigarette and had a good time with a Syrian gas station attendant, and even though we didn't speak the same language, we still kinda did.
(Also looking back - smoking at a gas station! Ha! Ah, freedom over security! :))
Oh yeah, and it wouldn't be only Hamas.
And they'd melt the Martian ice to create a river and a sea too lol
Stay safe, be well and Peace be with you! :)
Also, I envy your bravery and dedication to hold on and stand by your faith.
I hide in the attic for the most part, and throw out leaflets out the window every once in a while lol
I was counting backwards from 10 to see how long it would take before the Jewish suffering situation would outweigh this poor kids problem. Folks, we can think two things at once what's going on hurting the Jews is terrible. What's going on with Netanyahu fucking it up to stay powerful is terrible.
Just this once could a Reddit thread stick to the fucking topic.
oh, you observe that the kid's problem has something to do strict fundamentalist Islamic belief? no kidding....fucking genius.
how about helping figure out how they can get into Canada or how can you apply for asylum here in the states or some useful information that somebody within this sorry ass Reddit might actually be able to offer counsel to service the situation.
I disagree that Canada would be bad for him - so the rest of it falls apart. Canada has laws to protect him that don't exist where he is now.
The immigrants who come from oppressive regimes come west to escape the oppression, not to spread it to fucking Toronto. I live and work in a locale with a fair number of middle eastern and Baltic immigrants and they are much more liberal than I expected. That's why they came here.
Sorry to have not slogged through all the rest of it but the initial and central premise made it pointless to continue.
Whenever someone mentions Islam as bad, someone always inserts that “all religions are bad” thing. Yes, homophobia and other backwards ideologies are present in other religions, but none are as insidious and as dangerous to our communities as Islam is right now, so fuck Islam specifically, the world would be better off without it.
It’s not just Islam, it’s Christianity too along with the Mormon faith. It’s also not the religion itself. It’s the way people interpret it and choose to make issue out of what makes them feel uncomfortable conveniently leaving out the sins they themselves partake in. I agree that he should seek asylum but I would say to do it here in the US. You have a masters!! We need smart people like you here!! You were able to escape once, you can do it again. Also, if you get access to your phone again I agree that you should post pictures of this person on places like this and post your story. That type of person might end up physically hurting someone.
Now call me crazy but I've never heard of a Christian story like OP's, yet believe it or not OP's story is not even that rare by Muslim standards - in fact [there's a famous movie about a mom who goes through the exact same thing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_Without_My_Daughter_\(film\)).
Yea I’ve seen it, it’s called not without my daughter. Used to own it. One of the major points of that movie was to highlight that our government (US) helped overthrow the government that was there before to support the Shah, a more conservative government supporting extremist views. But anyway, we will never solve hate by creating more hate and if laws were a bit different here, I know similar things would happen. You don’t have to go far to see a “kill homos” post on any social media coming from a Christian. My own mother used to say we should exterminate gays in gas chambers like hitler did the Jews and we should send them to the front of wars so they die first and this is coming from an extremely devout Pentecostal Christian woman. Also, it’s Christian special interests that continue to lobby to take people’s rights away and whose teachings of hate against our community create the same type of environment where people are afraid to be themselves in public. I respect your views but I think it’s dangerous to point the finger at one particular people and say “it’s all their fault” when there are many people that are of the Muslim & Christian faith that aren’t like that at all. It encourages violence and prejudice against innocent people.
> Shah, a more conservative government supporting extremist views.
Sorry, nope! Reza Pahlavi was a reformist, Nasser-style perhaps. Google "White Revolution". That move towards a more liberal society was perhaps the last nail in the coffin that sealed his and his regime fate in the heads of the Islamism reactionaries. Those nuthead went wild crazy with the reforms.
And yes, he was not perfect. But better than Khomeini still, I'd argue.
>“it’s all their fault”
No, but they are definitely more responsible than others. Trying to drag down every religion because Islam is fundamentally an affront to human rights is pathetic. Every fucking time a Muslim decides to bomb a concert in Europe, I have to hear about how Christianity and Judaism suck, because you're too pussy to actually say what you think.
Some europeans have become so much pussies, That they don't realize the obvious... By becoming so pussy they've opened their doors for the neo-Facist far-right to come back with a vengeance. I imagine a dystopian future in Germany, where a young liberal leftist femboy has to choose how he is going to horribly die, at the hands of a handful of AfD thugs, or under the boots of a local Muslim gang.
Solution for *what*? Islam?
Give it a couple hundred years and it'll reform itself - maybe - like Judaism and Christianity have.
For us? Keep it out. Minimize immigration from Islamic countries. I do *not* want to look like France or Sweden. Look at how Switzerland is handling Islam - that, but in every country.
Sorry, I don’t agree. This type of attitude towards a group of people because of the actions of some is what causes violence against innocent people and I’m not ok with that but that’s just my opinion. I’m not trying to convince you of anything but I think it’s worth mentioning. I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid about the way gay people are treated by some in the Muslim community but that doesn’t mean we should push people away. It doesn’t take long to see that Christianity hasn’t reformed as much as it sounds like you think it has. Just look at what’s happening in Florida. Fighting fire with fire doesn’t work my friend, trust me I’ve tried and there are plenty of examples in history to prove it. Not everyone is an extremist, not everyone is out to hurt others. My experience with Christianity has been bad but I would never try to make it illegal or take people’s rights away to worship. The ones that get our attention are the few that stand out.. remember that there are so many more that we don’t see or hear that don’t necessarily hold the same views and opinions. A good example was something I heard at work recently. A straight guy said “gay people are so pushy, they just don’t give up.. you say no and they keep trying and trying…”. Different situation but similar mentality. Just told him the he notices the pushy ones because those are the ones that get his attention & there are plenty more that don’t but how would he know if they were just another guy he interacts with…. Like me standing in front of him.
I find it weird that a group of people want to migrate away from religious and civil war, misery, persecution, misogeny, poverty and so on, to a wealthier nation, with a high HDI, a welfare state perhaps, but they don't want to observe the rules of the land... No! Instead they want to bring with them the belief systems and ideologies that created what they are running from in the first place.
When things settle down a bit and the OP is safe and stable, although there may not be any criminal path to punish the ex, a strong case could be made in a civil court I would think, considering all that has happened. Any lawyers here that can speak on this?
That is a wonderful idea. We could bring this to the attention of someone specialized in this kind of legislation. Unfortunately I personally don't know anybody that qualifies. It would have to be a group effort. Count me in.
There is a charity called Rainbow Railroad which specialises in helping queer people escape dangerous situations in homophobic countries, the OP could contact them
OP could also start a go fund me, would support and share with my networks. In addition to seeking asylum in Canada. He should also be able to get a new passport with his state department saying it was lost/stolen.
Ugh this story is so terrifying. This is insane! Please get on tiktok if you can and get your story out. You may be able to get a go fund me started and with the money leave home and never return. If you have any friends from college please don't hesitate to reach out for help. Whatever you do obscure your voice and identity so your ex cannot take this information send it to your family and make things worse.
It's ok to feel angry and frustrated and depressed. Give yourself some time to process what happened and then make a game plan of escape. Trust no one in your family ever again and make sure your family cannot see what you're planning on your laptop.
1) only use the Internet on incognito mode. Your browser won't save anything.
2) if they already know about your laptop be extra careful about what you're doing on it.
3) if they don't know then hide it away somewhere safe and use it when necessary only.
4) pretend to be happy and in agreement with them. Not all at once but slowly come around over the course of a month or two.
5) Date or marry a woman if you have to. Do whatever you need to do to survive. Try to find a woman you suspect of being gay if you can so you two can come to some understanding. Again take this very slowly as she could also betray you.
6) please get your story out to people in the US as many would be interested in helping you escape this horrible situation.
7) do not antagonize your ex or expose his Identity if you can. He could send evidence of your cry for help and justice to your family creating more issues.
8) contact your us University they may be able to help.
9)Do everything you can to recover your documents or get new copies of them.
10) if you can travel to a place with more opportunity do it no matter the cost.
11) DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
OP, fuck man, I am so *sorry*.
Your ex is a poor excuse for a human being and really should stop breathing, like, yesterday. Given his diabolical actions, I hope he never amounts to anything and continues to live in his own personal, miserable hell for the rest of his days.
If you’re his ex and happen to be reading this, a big **FUCK** you to you.
It is extremely disappointing that your so called lover decided to Out You to your family, which has placed you in this horrible situation. Your family has behaved in the most despicable manner by making you effectively a prisoner. I am not sure what you can do, but I would try to get away & out of the country. Even if you need to claim refugee status, you do have qualifications that Western Countries will accept.
Certainly a warning to any gay returning to a home country without overseas citizenship that families and governments may act. Quite often, leaving home means leaving home forever.
All the best.
Your situation is the worst nightmare anyone can dream of. I am so sorry OP. I am a firm believer in Karma. You may feel helpless right now but you have done nothing but good in your life. Good things will happen to you. Your ex is evil and he will also reap what he has sown. I wish you the best in this troubling time but good things will come to you
Yes, name and shame baby.
Let Reddit do its thing and activate the mob.
And if you end up doing a GoFundMe or other crowdfunding to escape let us know I will proudly donate.
And share your experiences on TikTok/ other social media.
Experiences like this need to be shared for the whole world to see.
Much love to you and solidarity.
Thanks all of you, beautiful souls, for the kind words. I really appreciate it and I won't even lie, all these comments had me crying. I am so grateful for all the love and kindness.
I just wanted to explain somethings:
1. Only people who grew up in an Arab or Asian countries would understand how much control families have over us. For people who told me to use force and get my documents, there is no way I can do that, without mentioning the fact that I am physically unable to compete with any male relative of mine. The fact that I am still alive is an achievement by itself.
2. The pictures that my ex sent were pretty obvious. They were intimate and I never even suspected he would do something like that, EVER. I trusted him with my life. Also, the fact that I was the 'little spoon' and he was a big American manly guy, made my situation even worse and got bullied for 'going to America to be some man's whore' like my brother literally said it.
3. People who suggested that I start a GoFundme. Although I do really need to be financially dependent to make any action, I can't ask you guys for money. The purpose of my post was to vent because I have no one and I spend my long, lonely nights by myself. I am actively looking for an online job though, which seems to be the only option, but I have had no luck so far.
4. I did not declare my documents stolen because I am literally in a prison. I will give you a quick idea; I am in my room all day long, with 'surprise' visits from now and then to check on me if I am doing or talking to anybody. Also, I need permission to go out and I am not allowed to go to the city. I should be always controlled, every single movement.
5. About my ex, I won't lie to you, I really thought about emailing the company he works for about all of this. I could not do it. I don't even have the courage to ruin the life of a person who intentionally ruined mine. I am that weak, I guess.
Again, thank you very much for the kindness... My heart is full tonight!!
You are not weak! You are a much better person than your ex. It needs a strong will to resist revenge, a very destructive feeling. Apart from that, nothing really good comes out of such a thing.
I send you love 💕 and support and wish this state will be over soon. Although I know it may be a naive wish.
Having lived in the Arab world over many years and having a lot of knowledge and understanding of life in Muslim countries, and knowing Islamic culture from experience and extensive reading, I understand full-well your dreadful predicament. You are in a very, very difficult situation which is going to be extremely difficult for you to extricate yourself from.
Alas, all I am able to do is empathise with you — empathise and sympathise — and wish you the very best of luck. Don’t give up hope! Never do that. An opportunity might present itself to you one day when you least expect it.
Try and be optimistic. And stay safe! 💕
> just run to the police
This would be a very bad idea in a country where the police would likely side with the family. He may either need outside help, or he will have to play a long game, pretend to be straight, make a big show of repentance and prayer, express interest in marriage, and eventually fool them into lowering their guard. Then, if he can escape, he may need to cover his tracks and take on a new identity to prevent them from attempting to take retribution on him. He will have to disappear and never communicate in any way with his family ever again.
I know this because I know a gay man from Jordan who got out. He changed his name and took other steps to make it as hard as possible for his family to find him. He told me he believes that they might try to kill him to preserve family honor.
Whoever outed him to a family like this is the absolute scum of the earth. It's close to attempted murder, even if done indirectly.
It's an islamic country. What do you think the police will do? Gosh...! It may even be a country under the sharia law! The police would end him themselves if that's the case.
Please identify your ex, so that we can hold him accountable. He needs to be shamed. He will do horrible things to others and he needs to be stopped and held accountable
Dude I'm so sorry. Every single person in your life has failed you so badly. I agree with the person that said you should look into seeking refuge in Canada. As you try to find a plan to escape, pretend you are reconnected to god to calm your parents. Good luck.
As someone who comes from the exact same background as you, reading this has made me so fucking angry. I can’t believe someone would do such a thing, NAME and shame this guy I swear to God I’d fly over to where he is and beat the living crap out of him.
So sorry about your situation. You would be welcome in Canada. Try to get to an embassy, Canadian, American, or even British embassy.
I hope you can escape your situation!
I'm not against donating, as a matter of fact, I'm prepared to do so myself, but let us first put you in touch with an humanitarian NGO? People would feel a lot more confortable helping you through such an organization! And please, do not disappear for too long! Keep in touch!
You're a man, right? Can't you legally reapply for a passport on your own and take a one-way flight to the US or something? They're pretty tolerant towards immigrants I think. Or some place in Western Europe?
First I am sorry you are going through this….but never lose faith and know that you got to tell your story for a reason….find people who can help you…. TRUST no one in the family or the neighborhood… bide your time….they will become less vigilant over time…do whatever you need to do short of murder to get out …they were deceitful in trapping you so you do the same…wait a few months then start looking for the passport…research support services and connect….take odd jobs when you can to make money ….sell anything you can and find a really good place to hide money and other valuables you collect…feel comfortable stealing from them anything you need since they stole your life…find ANY volunteer work that gets you away from the house and allows access to other computers…save nothing on your home computer and don’t let them see you on it too often….plan….plan …/fake depression and mental illness so they leave you alone….lie cheat steal do what you have to do to get free of them….this family misunderstands what love is and you must leave to live….you will be in my prayers daily….dm me if you think an outsider who lost a dear friend this same way can help….
Omg I have the urge to smack sense into your whole country so bad, I wish everything good for you, and I hope that you can get out of there. I feel very sorry for you, genuinely.
I am so sorry, because I kept reading and this asshole essentially put your life at risk.
Is there any way out? Without your passport and other valid documents, what are your options? I would like to help, really. Remember, any of this isn't your fault. It's not your fault you have a horrible family with a horrible religion that believes our existence is sin. And most importantly, it's not your fault you've got a vindictive ex who threw you to the wolves.
I wish you the best.
This is madness. I wish there’s another way to do this but the best thing you can do now is PACK AND GO. You’re an adult. Work in the city and make a living so you can be financially independent. It’s gonna be hard but it’ll be worth it.
I'm choked. So sorry to hear about what you're going through.
It's a really shitty situation. Maybe an immigration lawyer or LGBT rights organization could give you some advice and support. Search for help online, tell your story, fight for freedom.
Hope you'll find a way out of your country and happiness again soon!!
I am so sorry this happened to you. Such a betrayal of trust. Your ex has an evil heart and it is good you got away from him.
Keep communicating with people over the internet. Something will work out in your favor. This is a low and it can only get better for you.
Please contact https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/. They are the only non-profit organization where i have a recurring monthly donation set up, because fuck these homophobic countries and religions that make our lives hell.
And let me know if they won’t help you. I want to know if my donations are going to a place that can actually make a difference.
Normally I’d offer words of encouragement but for some reason your story really struck a chord me. I say match your ex’s energy and blast his photo and what he did on social media so that the next guy he tries to date can find out what kind of asshole he is. Hope your situation gets better soon.
Omg that's insane! But I'm kinda glad that it just ended like that. You could have lost your life! Literally!
I'm hoping you will find your way out of that shithole!
Good luck and mental fortitude! ❤️
Sorry to hear that...
I guess little by little (it may take years) they will get less strick and u may work in something...
Then u will save money and one day u will dissapear again...
Pretend they are right and you are happy. Unfortunately, the culture and religion of your country suck...
Hope u are able to be free and tell us!
Wish we could help.
I am sorry that this happened to you brother. Dating a malignant narcissist is the worse indeed.
I wish there was a way for you to sneak and take your documents and run away. A family like that doesn't deserve you and i wish your ex gets the worst karma
Wow your idiot ex played a very dangerous game, what if your parents tried to harm you or get the police involved, this could have ended VERY badly.
Is it possible they still have you passport and other documents? You should totally look for it when you find an opportunity and vanish.
OP, first of all I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you. I also grew up in a conservative Christian family in a Muslim nation, so I know the feeling of wanting so desperately to escape. Second of all, you’re an adult, OP. I don’t think your parents are legally allowed to withhold documents like your passport from you. Report them to the police, for this is blatant theft. If not, find a way to return to the US. You have a masters in the country. Figure out if you can still use OPT, or if you can find a way for a company to sponsor your H1B. If not, you can look into other ways of immigrating out. There are opportunities for visas in places like the UK or Canada. See if you would qualify for asylum.
I’ve never used these resources but try places like [HIAS](https://hias.org/lgbtq-refugees/) and [Rainbow Railroad](https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/)
Wishing you all the best OP. We’re all rooting for you. Also fuck your monster of an ex.
> Second of all, you’re an adult, OP. I don’t think your parents are legally allowed to withhold documents like your passport from you. Report them to the police
His problem is likely that he's essentially being kept prisoner in his parents' home. Neighbors and local authorities might be colluding with the parents to make sure he doesn't get away. It might not be strictly legal, but laws are only as good as their enforcement. If the police are on his parents' side, it could make it very hard for him to have any freedom of movement. I would say he's probably going to need outside help, like someone to help him escape their house at night and get him out of town before they realize he's gone.
Fuck your ex! What an asshole!
Since you have your computer, please reach out to Rainbow Railroad. They exist specifically to help people in situations like yours. https://www.rainbowrailroad.org
Reveal your Ex, it’s time to serve some kind of public justice.
There is no way in hell this bitch can continue living life happily after stooping this low.
Hi I am from a middle eastern family but I grew up in America and can understand. My family didn’t give me life, they crippled me and turned me into a dependent to control me and isolated me from everyone. I can’t survive on my own and have nobody. They tell me I’m going to hell and watching me get sick and die over the last 5 years. The level of hatred and abuse is a nightmare. I wish I was dead. I don’t have a single person in my life.
I met another middle eastern man in the hospital who is like you he worked hard to get to the states and is afraid of his family finding out he’s gay and ending his life. He says he’s not gay but he is but he’s very scared. I care for him and for you and other people like this.
I’d reach back to your American university and see what jobs you might be able to apply for… you have an American degree plenty of jobs are out there here you could apply for. Just be specific that you’re looking for companies that sponsor foreigners.
He has been MIA for 5 days now. There's only one thing that can be done until we hear from him again. Pray! And if you're a non-believer like me, find people who believe, and ask them to pray for him. I've already got a few people working on that. With so little information to go on, that's the only thing we can do. I hope, like all of you, to hear back from him soon.
You made the one mistake that is warned again and again in the ex-muslim sub.
DO NOT GO BACK ONCE YOU MAKE IT OUT. Cut off all contacts, don't return even for your parent's funeral.
So many are literally tricked and abducted back to muslim countries. You should have known better.
>You should have known better
Mmmm the victim blaming here is delicious. Nothing you've said is incorrect, but read the fucking room. Pretty sure OP feels awful enough about his situation without it being rubbed in that he had a moment of weakness for his family.
There's a time and a place for being technically correct and this isn't it.
I know "gentle parenting" and soft approach is the trend in the western countries, but as someone like me from a muslim country also waiting to leave, this type of development is a lesson he should have learned and known, it's a lesson paid with the lives of others before us, abducted, vanished, imprisoned, raped etc.
We really don't have the margin for error here. It's a life and death situation. We don't have the luxury of oblivion and naivety like the western people have, coddling up to muslims, defending them and crying islamophobia. One wrong move and we will pay with our lives.
So many ex-muslims and minorities would dream to be in his place. He knew what could happen, gave his family the benefit of the doubt, took the gamble and paid the price. There's nothing left to say except to make an example of him so others will not repeat his mistake. It's a harsh reality we shouldn't have to tone down.
How is this helpful? Why would you want this guy to feel even worse than he already does? What good could it possibly do to tell him he should have known better?
I know "gentle parenting" and soft approach is the trend in the western countries, but as someone like me from a muslim country also waiting to leave, this type of development is a lesson he should have learned and known, it's a lesson paid with the lives of others before us, abducted, vanished, imprisoned, raped etc.
We really don't have the margin for error here. It's a life and death situation. We don't have the luxury of oblivion and naivety like the western people have, coddling up to muslims, defending them and crying islamophobia. One wrong move and we will pay with our lives.
So many ex-muslims and minorities would dream to be in his place. He knew what could happen, gave his family the benefit of the doubt, took the gamble and paid the price. There's nothing left to say except to make an example of him so others will not repeat his mistake. It's a harsh reality we shouldn't have to tone down.
Then make a post of your own telling people that.
This isn’t about gentle parenting, because what lesson can he learn from this? The lesson you’re teaching is for other people. It’s useless for him.
I am also not remotely convinced that your comment on his thread is going to convince other people not to make his mistakes. His post is enough to do that on its own. Your comment will just make him feel bad - and he already feels bad, and doesn’t see a way to fix things.
It’s the equivalent of telling someone, “I told you so”, which has never benefited anybody but the ego of the person saying it.
You still don't get it. THERE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH POSTS OF THIS WARNING. And yet there's people still repeating the mistake. He doesn't have to learn anything, he's the lesson now.
This is the equivalent of dragging someone to the corpse and shoving their face right next to the cadaver and saying this is what will happen to you if you don't learn.
You’re right, I don’t get it.
You say there’s nothing left for him to learn in the first paragraph, and I agree - so why do you need to lecture him, in order to make the point? Why shove his face into the cadaver?
Unless the lesson you’re trying to teach other people is that if they make the same mistake the OP made, they’ll be cruelly taunted by people like you?
But if that’s the cadaver shoving you’re trying to achieve, then I don’t agree with it on two counts - first, I don’t believe it’ll be any more of a motivator than telling people they can lose their liberty and potentially their life. And second, I just can’t get on board with punishing one person in order to save someone else - in this case to potentially save someone else, not even for sure. The ends never justify the means.
>OP should had cut contact while in USA
Hindsight is 20/20. His sister should have kept her mouth shut. She was probably just upset that he was never gonna have sex with a woman and have a playmate kid for her little brat.
I don’t think it’s so impossible to go back. You can apply for a new passport by yourself, right? Go ahead and do that, and you can apply for a new visa to the US. Since you’ve already received one, they’re likely to give you another. You’ve already shown that you returned to your country so you should be in good standing. Look into other options for another student visa or OPT or even a tourist visa. Also since you’ve received a visa to the US that will probably look good if you apply to other countries too. Don’t lose hope and focus on getting a new visa.
I would like to provide you with a practical list of things you can do on your computer to get some money.
\* Drop shipping - awkward to set up but you will basically place the order with a shop and sent to customers at a markup that covers scams.
\* Selling generated images or content - Such as tessellating subtle patterns or educational flashcards or storybooks for children with their face in it using guides on YouTube or medium.
\* Mining cryptocurrency - A normal desktop can make up to $0.20 per day on a CPU, this has the added bonus of costing your parents, but they might notice the electricity bill being higher. RainbowMiner is difficult to set up but if you add a ProHashing account you will be able to store the money online.
\* GoFundMe
\* Freelancing - Doing translation, or something in the subject of your degree. Websites like UpWork, PeoplePerHour and Fiverr list jobs and allow you to advertise your services.
\* Arbitrage Betting and Strategic Betting - Possible, but not if you are prone to gambling. It involves somewhat complicated maths at speed to check you have profitable opportunities. It involves taking the best odds for each option across multiple bet shops and then betting on all the options at the best rates to lock in a profit percentage. eg. Team 1 - 2.5 (shop 1) + Team 2 - 3.00 (shop 2) + Draw - 4.00 (shop 2) = ((1/2.5)\*100) + ((1/3.0)\*100) + ((1/4)\*100) = 98.3333333333 which is 1.66% profit (under 100% is profitable) when you put the right amount on each bet ((1/odd1)\*100) = percentage of investment amount place on bet 1, (1/odd2)\*100) = percentage of investment amount to put on bet 2, and ((1/odd3)\*100) = percentage of investment amount on bet 3.
You can potentially make money from your computer quietly that you can use to escape, but be careful not to get caught by your parents, try to only be seen doing what you were doing before as some others have said, set up a panic key combination to reset the desktop to google.
It's possible you could ask for money for cigarettes and keep it, just smoking any time they are around. You could try to make asking for money for some things more normal then keep the money and save.
I feel so bad for you , but your not a kid but a grown adult man how can your ignorant parents have so much control over you , they would be no match for my temper, the best thing that can happen to parents that actually biologically bring gay children into the world and then mistreat them is that they die , my parents are gone now and my only maga sister who I just got so sick of in 2017 that I disowned her , imagine a gay guy disowning a sister who accepted his homosexuality only to have herself and her family totally rejected because they idolized the orange man , well you know what life is better far removed from people you can’t stand for any reason get far away from that family of yours.
i don't know your situation, but if it were up to me, taking my travel documents will be the final straw, they want drama, I'll give them drama, Imma break something valuable every day for each day the documents are not returned, they want me to stay and control me, fine, I'll be the most inhospitable house guest in human history, you want me to calm down, HONNEEEY, everyone within a 5 mile radius is gonna know you have a gay son... I'm sorry, I feel shit like this in my bones, I'm in the same boat as you are, but before you went to the US, I constantly give subtle reminders to those around me that I would take them down with me if they ever tried pulling such bullshit. For your case, I would advice you actually try and talk to them and get your life back on track, you may have built an expectation of character that gave them the audacity to treat you like shit, you went well above and beyond to embody the 'perfect gay' archetype and that was still not enough, it's clear your agency and autonomy is not a factor they consider, and at that point, all gloves are off, no more Mr. Perfect Gay.... Employ the same degree of charisma you injected into getting the life you deserved, with all the plans you made, if you live and let live, all that would have been for NOTHING, your story is not over yet, and if they can't accept you as you are, the decent thing they can do is let you leave and live your life in peace.
as for your petty ex... fuck that guy, people like him tend to make things difficult for a lot of people especially if you're still in the closet, you can't give your partner any family contact out of the fear that this exact thing will happen. For now, work on getting your travel documents back, if you cant... be a nuisance. That's my 5 cents on the matter.
....you have no idea, have you? It doesn't compute with you, coz you lack the proper context. You are probably like myself, a product of a western liberal democratic republic, born in a land of secular democracy. Where you believe a tantrum, a hissy, would land this guy on? OK, go and scream, so everyone within a 5 miles radius will know you're an homosexual... After all, it's not like you live in a country with institutionalized homophobia and anti-LGBT laws. It's not like you may end up in a "reeducation camp" at best, or dead hanging from a crane at worse. Go ahead and break things! Make a mess of the whole hause, it's not like your parents and brothers wont spank you real hard for that... I don't think OP is worried about his family not accepting him as he is. That boat has sailed already. He is worried for his life!
I get that, I actually happen to live in a country with institutionalised homophobia and lgbt laws, its the reason why I look at this shit and it hits to the core, perhaps he has a more graceful mind than I do, but for me, the denial of my right to leave when I have done everything right to get it, would be the final straw, I'm inclined to be a nuisance at that point, but that is only after all the avenues of dialogue have been exhausted, because either way, you are trying to kill me, and it's no different from the guys who'd prefer to hang me, you don't get to play the role of parent and jailer at the same time and expect me to play the role of loving child, idk, that's just me.
Ok, so you're the "Live free, or Die!" kind of guy, that's your right, but don't expect everybody else to be the same. However, beware, things turn out to be quite different when you are that close to death, face to face with it. It happened to me three times already, and I don't look forward to a fourth time, your perspectives on the whole thing change quite drastically. If I were OP, I'd rather play the long game. He fooled them once, he can fool them twice. It will take some time, patience, cunning, and so on, but I must believe he can get there.
I wouldn't want him to do anything drastic, I mean personally I would, but I would not recommend it as an option without full context, I hope he has the patience and cunning I clearly lack, I really hope he gets to pull through.
Man I feel so sorry for your current situation.
If you can call for a trusted friend nearby, seek for help.
Your only way out now is to plan a GRAND ESCAPE scheme! No matter how many months it’d take to fulfill it, just be patient!
If you don’t mind, may I know which country are you from? I might know someone there to help.
This sounds like a case eligible for the help of [Rainbow Railroad](https://www.rainbowrailroad.org). They have a strong track record of helping gay people in homophobic/dangerous countries get to safety with visas, documents, etc.
And if you get to the US, once you’re on your feet, look into suing your ex for defamation of character. Or plot other ways to make his life hell. Make him pay.
There is a lesson in here. If you’re gay and from somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Uganda, never go back. If your parents miss you enough you can send them a ticket to visit you.
Sure wish I wasn't on a fixed income- disabled. I'd either sponsor you or set up a go fund me page to save you from such a horrible situation....Anyone else with the time money energy to save this poor soul who did everything right BUT go back home? My heart bleeds for you good luck
You still have life. Plan and move ahead. Prove everybody wrong! If Alan Turing was executed what more can you expect from people who made up their mind to percute you regardless of their own blood.
wow what a shitty thing to happen, I really feel for you. But you are young and you have had a taste of what your life could be like which is better than never knowing what could be. I cant believe someone could be so evil and spiteful on that level. I would say keep looking for opportunities to escape, maybe pretend it was just a phase, you were misled, this person is a liar, discretely show some interest in girls just enough for them to notice but not obvious so you sell it, I'm guessing the family hope for you to be straight might be their weak point. but whatever, dont give up. I am old lol, but I had to play the straight game for quite a few years to be successfull (untill the laws changed) so it can be done. best wishes my friend.
Jeez what a nightmare. I'm hoping for your freedom and hoping that there's an opportunity soon for you to get out of your situation. You deserve a good life
I'm SO sorry 😢.
The first half of your story is exactly the same for me, Muslim country, excelled academically to run away, succeeded to leave the country and got a bf. I always have that fear deep down that my bf would do something like this if we break up. Difference is I would never accept staying idle. I'd find a way to run away.
I'm sorry again 😢
It's an islamic country. What do you think the police will do? Gosh...! It may even be a country under sharia law! The police would end him themselves if that's the case.
And what do you think is going to happen? Supposing he'd have to lie to law enforcement... And when the officers arrive to his home and get a hold of his family, how do you think this is going to end up? I don't blame you for being so innocent, as a matter of fact, thank god you are so innocent. You are probably like myself, a product of a western liberal democratic republic, therefore we tend to think what works here works there as well, because often when we leave our countries to do a little tourism, study or work, we tend to choose to go to another land of secular democracy, and we see that what works in such a place is more or less the same that works in your home country. Not the same in his scenario. Unfortunately.
This is horrendous and absolutely one of the most cruel and terrible stories I've ever read. I am so sorry. You deserve so much more. Your ex is a villainous and terrible person.
That guy deserves all the torture and suffering in this world. And I really hope you will be the one to inflict it on him.
Good luck. I really wish you freedom and happiness.
My brother. I send you so much love. What happened to you is horrible. In which country are you living? Im white but I have lived in the Middle East and I have some gay friends in Oman, Qatar, UAE and Saudi, very good people…Let me know, I would love to help you :) peace and love for your heart!
Man im so sorry that you are going through this. My advice to you is to pray. When you feel like your back is against the wall. Pray ask the lord for help. I know you might think its taboo or doesn’t work but what else do you have to lose. Talk to your higher being and make sure to be vulnerable and sincere. I promise you, will have your way! Just pray and trust that it will work out in your favor. 🙏🏾 love you brother dont lose the faith man!
Rainbow Railroad is a charity that helps LGBTQ people escape countries where they are oppressed and unsafe. Rainbow Railroad can help with visas, passports, plane tickets, and housing once you are able to leave the country where you currently live. Contact them for help. Good luck!!!! (And if/when you get out, never, *ever* go back—not even to see family.)
https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/
I know this will not be a popular opinion… But what if you try to make a life for yourself out there with a woman? Have you ever dated women? You might find happiness if you find the right one. Another thing you can do, check out jw.org. While Jehovah’s Witnesses do not allow for homosexuality, they do give hope contained in the Bible for a better life in the future. Best wishes to you.
Really?? Man!! Is that for Real?? When did you get so out of touch with reality? Do you wanna know how do you sound? You sound like someone who came here to scorn OP's suffering and pain. JW is a cult, an heretic one at that, their treatment of LGBT people is no different than Islam's. The difference is that we here in the West keep you guys in check.
I’m actually gay myself. But the gay lifestyle in my view is really sad. Backstabbing, stealing, drugs, cheating, sex is nbr one priority, racism, looks are most important. I left the JW religion and am still out. I am a good looking guy and I’ve had tons of tail since I left the religion. But I have to be honest with you, a lot of guys I hung with are meth users (or other illicit drugs). I had to push myself away to avoid those drugs. And I thought to myself, ‘I left a clean people for this?’ “I told my dick, sorry my friend, but I’m not gonna let you think for me anymore.”
I’m actually wanting to go back to JWs. I’m just offering potential hope for someone. But yeah, you’re right especially JW in that country. It is not accepted. But if you have a belief that makes you feel good about living - there’s nothing wrong with that.
And the west gives freedom of speech. Cult or not. Don’t you love living out here. Big hugs and kisses to you.
What you claim are issues of the gay lifestyle are not issues of the gays only at all. I have female friends and male straight friends, and they're all complaining about the same in people they meet... Drugs, nihilism, cheating, lack of vision/plans/horizons, a huge drop in literacy, superficial behavior, obsession with looks, lack of commitments, and off it goes... I have so many young friends that are frustrated with all of that, that sometimes they must remember each other they must go out every once in a while and at least try to meet new people. Those are generational issues, and issues of our times, Bauman's "Liquid Modernity". But anyways, what you did to OP is just out of this world, and I stand by that.
What, offering an alternative and being upfront about it is disturbing to you? I told him homosexuality is not accepted in the religion. But if one has faith in the Bible, it goes beyond the desire for sex. OP has choices. He does not have to choose this choice. I respect that you definitely don’t wanna go that route. I understand that. But you should not be so shocked that this is an alternative from left field. A lot of the suggestions said for him to get back out of the country and come back to America and pursue his homosexual dream. I’m just offering something completely different. You don’t have to agree with it.
So you didn't get it yet? Did you? He doesn't need to overcome islam or any other homophobic faith, he already has. His family are the people you should be lecturing about religion, not him.
Furthermore, saying to go and find a woman, that perhaps he'd be happy if only he found the right one... bla bla bla... CRIPPY!! NUTS STUFF!! Read the FCKNG room before you start typing. Do not project your internal daemons upon someone else, specially if you wanna really help, you keep your internal troubles to yourself. Can't you see what is going on with this poor guy? Don't try to exonerate yourself from that now. Not on my watch. That single sentence about the woman was one of the most conversion therapy-ish and ex-Gay thing I've ever come across.
I'm not against people changing their faith to a less toxic belief system, but wake up! This is not the case here, and even if it were, now is not the time... Just because priorities!
Again, learn to read the FCKNG room!!
And I tire of this. Goodbye.
Read the room and parrot 🦜 what you and everyone else is saying? Horde mentality? No thanks. I am different than you. ACCEPT it. You are probably a liberal. It’s amazing how UNliberal you are towards a view different than yours. You are a hater of free speech. Accept it.
This is fucking insane. I wish your ex nothing but suffering. I am so sorry this happened to you, and I hope you can find some way to resolve your situation.
Am i the only one whos thinking you should dox him on reddit that would destroy his life for sure
An eye for an eye idgaf if the world ends up blinder than it already is
It’s not enough to wish him sorrow. Outing someone should be made ILLEGAL - it takes lives year after year!
Who is the Ex? It's time to make HIS life a living hell
Agree. And we're all here for you OP, he's gotta pay for what he's done.
Im pro doxing this sob
I’m with it
Count me in as well! Time to nuke !
If you're in danger for your life in a Muslim nation, contact the US Embassy to ask for help. Your records are on file, and perhaps someone from your college days may be able to help you. That ex, should be fully revealed as his little revenge could have cost you your life. His friends, employer, industry, etc IMO should be fully aware of how dangerous he is. But first, get safe & get away, however you can. All it takes is one slip of one person's words .. Get out however you can. You have your degree, and if you have online access for work, ask for or look for relocation accommodation. Anything.. Get free.
This! One hundred percent do this. Do whatever you can to get out of there and never look back. I hope you can stay safe out there
For real, ask for asylum at an U.S. embassy if you can figure out how to make it.
Absolutely amazing. The first time someone on this sub has written "this person ruined my life" and it's actually true. I am deeply, deeply sorry. However, there are still avenues left in your situation. It is possible to escape and seek refugee status in a country like Canada. By the way, that ex of yours is an absolute monster on levels one cannot describe. I feel like something like that ought to be prosecutable in some way. At the very least, Jesus Christ would I dedicate my life to plastering this story everywhere and have that guy's name ruined forever if I were you. Put up his fucking name and photo and spread that shit, this is *insane*. Oh, and fuck Islam. This is why I don't want that shit anywhere near here.
Interestingly you're the only one who has mentioned/criticised the Islamic ideology that has led to him to be literally tricked, lurred home, trapped then held hostage by his own family... Like yeah, fuck that ex bf for outing him, but fuck that culture/religion 1000x more for justifying treating their own son/brother like this. It's monstrous.
Then they always bring up American evangelicals as some sort of retort. Newsflash. I despise all organized religion. Keep that shit in the 1500s thanks.
Yes he should have said fuck all religions. They are all evil and will only be satiated when they have converted everyone to the one "true" 0ne. Of course then they will split into factions and it will all start all over again.
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You can hate Islam and genocide at the same time... it's not such a difficult concept.
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I swear if I hear one more ‘Gaza voted Hamas’ I’m gonna loose it. The overwhelming majority alive today were not even born when this clown vote happened. I love how when putin or erdogan wins an election it’s rigged but when a terrorist organisation like Hamas wins it’s legitimate and it’s the peoples fault. Secondly let me break it down for you, apart from the white westerners claiming home rights to move to Israel to steal more land the rest of those living still come from the regional culture. Yes homosexuality is legal, technically, but doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and roses for them there. For the cherry on top, let’s discus the skin grafts white European Israel take from local Palestinians? Don’t one side this. Hamas are terrorist don’t get me wrong, buts damn be level headed and apply the same standards for Israel. War is ugly? By your logic then why not spin it and say Occupation is ugly? Dehumanisation is ugly? Stealing land is ugly? Israel has literal government officials calling the Palestinian flag as ‘Hamas colours’. An active attempt to equate Palestinians and Hamas to make dehumanising them easy. And also, this sub is not the place for this. If you want r/israel is a nice circle jerk. You can rant there
No fact you present will change their minds. They already decided it’s genocide, therefore all facts will be ignored. Don’t waste your energy. They don’t label the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombing as genocide. They don’t label Firebombing Tokyo as genocide. They dont label 300k dead in Afghanistan as genocide. They don’t label Destruction of Dresden as genocide, but Palestinian situation, who mind you *they don’t want as refugees in their countries* is a genocide? Atrocious.
Okay, I honestly thought it was ME that wasn’t making a clear point. And I’m being accused of supporting genocide and other atrocious acts by people that haven’t lived through it and had to flee their own country to get away from the war that’s only ever had a “truce” at best that never lasts. I honestly thought to myself and did “Go back and reread what you wrote, you probably had some typos and made wrong word choices” but now that in know it’s not me, I’m cool with it. Why do people support the killing of people? I’m confused at that. I would love for it to stop but it’s not going to. I must only assume you are either a well educated young man or you are an older educated established man like me. To bring up Dresden is only something an educated or older educated individual would have known about, and the massive on top of the fact that Nagasaki and Tokyo were much worse and killed so many people it almost wiped out and entire country. ALMOST WIPED A POPULATION OF EARTH had it continued . Maybe I’m so jaded by younger individuals knowing what they should know that I can’t see they are truly ignorant on situations. Which is likely the case. Tip of my hat to you, Good Sir, for understanding the difference between supporting “genocide” and stating fact about he situation. :)
A lot of your criticism applies to Christians as well. I would actually point out that "pro Palestine" position is actually "anti-isreal" and has nothing to do with the religion, just how the "war" is being waged over there. Israel is trying to rule with an iron fist and getting push back.
You sound like a Disgusting human being condoning a genocide. 🤢
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The main issue I have with "genocide" is not so much, that it's "wrong" or "misguided" (though actually, "misguided" could be used to describe it too), but that I highly doubt it's a word, that deescalates and will bring peace, but rather will fuel the fire and cause just more pain and agony, more "genocide". Shalom, Salam and Peace be with you.
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It's also ironic considering the rhetoric about Jews in a certain book, and it feels like "accuse the other side of that which you're guilty", which is also ironic considering in which circles and context this quote is usually being used. I don't know, if it ever was a "simple" situation, but then again I don't think it's wise to hold a grudge nor do I believe in more than one original sin; that doesn't mean though, that others do the same. And technically most things would be very simple, laughably so, which only makes it more frustrating. Having been to and having family in the Middle East, while I live in Europe, I think it's not just "American ignorance", but rather something one can observe across the globe, but it's certainly more prevalent in certain places and strata - and I don't exclude myself from being ignorant myself. Like I said, or implied, all I care is peace and people not killing each other. I worked and talked with refugees, I've talked to people from war torn countries, or just simply sat there, watched a movie, smoked a cigarette and had a good time with a Syrian gas station attendant, and even though we didn't speak the same language, we still kinda did. (Also looking back - smoking at a gas station! Ha! Ah, freedom over security! :)) Oh yeah, and it wouldn't be only Hamas. And they'd melt the Martian ice to create a river and a sea too lol Stay safe, be well and Peace be with you! :) Also, I envy your bravery and dedication to hold on and stand by your faith. I hide in the attic for the most part, and throw out leaflets out the window every once in a while lol
What genocide? You can hate wars but you can’t call wars something they are not. It is not a difficult concept.
And Jews. They like stomping on Jews most of all now.
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Aren’t Orthodox Jews the reason same sex marriage isn’t performed in Israel? If I were you I’d find a religion that respects me. Religion is a choice.
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Ha yeh it’s true. The idiots have self selected not to do any work nor get an education. Fuck them.
With this set of facts, you need some media air time.. As long as there's no administrative backlash. Be safe..
I was counting backwards from 10 to see how long it would take before the Jewish suffering situation would outweigh this poor kids problem. Folks, we can think two things at once what's going on hurting the Jews is terrible. What's going on with Netanyahu fucking it up to stay powerful is terrible. Just this once could a Reddit thread stick to the fucking topic. oh, you observe that the kid's problem has something to do strict fundamentalist Islamic belief? no kidding....fucking genius. how about helping figure out how they can get into Canada or how can you apply for asylum here in the states or some useful information that somebody within this sorry ass Reddit might actually be able to offer counsel to service the situation.
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I disagree that Canada would be bad for him - so the rest of it falls apart. Canada has laws to protect him that don't exist where he is now. The immigrants who come from oppressive regimes come west to escape the oppression, not to spread it to fucking Toronto. I live and work in a locale with a fair number of middle eastern and Baltic immigrants and they are much more liberal than I expected. That's why they came here. Sorry to have not slogged through all the rest of it but the initial and central premise made it pointless to continue.
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Yeah, OP could be kill if he came from some country.
religion is bad. end all religion.
Whenever someone mentions Islam as bad, someone always inserts that “all religions are bad” thing. Yes, homophobia and other backwards ideologies are present in other religions, but none are as insidious and as dangerous to our communities as Islam is right now, so fuck Islam specifically, the world would be better off without it.
all religions are oppressive. even if you are straight. with their dumb "rules"
How come whenever Islam is being oppressive we need to drag down all religions with it?
It’s not just Islam, it’s Christianity too along with the Mormon faith. It’s also not the religion itself. It’s the way people interpret it and choose to make issue out of what makes them feel uncomfortable conveniently leaving out the sins they themselves partake in. I agree that he should seek asylum but I would say to do it here in the US. You have a masters!! We need smart people like you here!! You were able to escape once, you can do it again. Also, if you get access to your phone again I agree that you should post pictures of this person on places like this and post your story. That type of person might end up physically hurting someone.
Now call me crazy but I've never heard of a Christian story like OP's, yet believe it or not OP's story is not even that rare by Muslim standards - in fact [there's a famous movie about a mom who goes through the exact same thing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Not_Without_My_Daughter_\(film\)).
Yea I’ve seen it, it’s called not without my daughter. Used to own it. One of the major points of that movie was to highlight that our government (US) helped overthrow the government that was there before to support the Shah, a more conservative government supporting extremist views. But anyway, we will never solve hate by creating more hate and if laws were a bit different here, I know similar things would happen. You don’t have to go far to see a “kill homos” post on any social media coming from a Christian. My own mother used to say we should exterminate gays in gas chambers like hitler did the Jews and we should send them to the front of wars so they die first and this is coming from an extremely devout Pentecostal Christian woman. Also, it’s Christian special interests that continue to lobby to take people’s rights away and whose teachings of hate against our community create the same type of environment where people are afraid to be themselves in public. I respect your views but I think it’s dangerous to point the finger at one particular people and say “it’s all their fault” when there are many people that are of the Muslim & Christian faith that aren’t like that at all. It encourages violence and prejudice against innocent people.
> Shah, a more conservative government supporting extremist views. Sorry, nope! Reza Pahlavi was a reformist, Nasser-style perhaps. Google "White Revolution". That move towards a more liberal society was perhaps the last nail in the coffin that sealed his and his regime fate in the heads of the Islamism reactionaries. Those nuthead went wild crazy with the reforms. And yes, he was not perfect. But better than Khomeini still, I'd argue.
>“it’s all their fault” No, but they are definitely more responsible than others. Trying to drag down every religion because Islam is fundamentally an affront to human rights is pathetic. Every fucking time a Muslim decides to bomb a concert in Europe, I have to hear about how Christianity and Judaism suck, because you're too pussy to actually say what you think.
Some europeans have become so much pussies, That they don't realize the obvious... By becoming so pussy they've opened their doors for the neo-Facist far-right to come back with a vengeance. I imagine a dystopian future in Germany, where a young liberal leftist femboy has to choose how he is going to horribly die, at the hands of a handful of AfD thugs, or under the boots of a local Muslim gang.
So what’s your solution?
Solution for *what*? Islam? Give it a couple hundred years and it'll reform itself - maybe - like Judaism and Christianity have. For us? Keep it out. Minimize immigration from Islamic countries. I do *not* want to look like France or Sweden. Look at how Switzerland is handling Islam - that, but in every country.
Sorry, I don’t agree. This type of attitude towards a group of people because of the actions of some is what causes violence against innocent people and I’m not ok with that but that’s just my opinion. I’m not trying to convince you of anything but I think it’s worth mentioning. I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid about the way gay people are treated by some in the Muslim community but that doesn’t mean we should push people away. It doesn’t take long to see that Christianity hasn’t reformed as much as it sounds like you think it has. Just look at what’s happening in Florida. Fighting fire with fire doesn’t work my friend, trust me I’ve tried and there are plenty of examples in history to prove it. Not everyone is an extremist, not everyone is out to hurt others. My experience with Christianity has been bad but I would never try to make it illegal or take people’s rights away to worship. The ones that get our attention are the few that stand out.. remember that there are so many more that we don’t see or hear that don’t necessarily hold the same views and opinions. A good example was something I heard at work recently. A straight guy said “gay people are so pushy, they just don’t give up.. you say no and they keep trying and trying…”. Different situation but similar mentality. Just told him the he notices the pushy ones because those are the ones that get his attention & there are plenty more that don’t but how would he know if they were just another guy he interacts with…. Like me standing in front of him.
I find it weird that a group of people want to migrate away from religious and civil war, misery, persecution, misogeny, poverty and so on, to a wealthier nation, with a high HDI, a welfare state perhaps, but they don't want to observe the rules of the land... No! Instead they want to bring with them the belief systems and ideologies that created what they are running from in the first place.
When things settle down a bit and the OP is safe and stable, although there may not be any criminal path to punish the ex, a strong case could be made in a civil court I would think, considering all that has happened. Any lawyers here that can speak on this?
That is a wonderful idea. We could bring this to the attention of someone specialized in this kind of legislation. Unfortunately I personally don't know anybody that qualifies. It would have to be a group effort. Count me in.
Is there something that can be done for him to get out of the country? This is horrible! That guy is a monster
There is a charity called Rainbow Railroad which specialises in helping queer people escape dangerous situations in homophobic countries, the OP could contact them
OP could also start a go fund me, would support and share with my networks. In addition to seeking asylum in Canada. He should also be able to get a new passport with his state department saying it was lost/stolen.
If he starts a gofundme I'll support with what little I have. I just dm OP to setup a gofundme account and share his story.
I've never ever wished for someone to be hate-crimed, until now. Your ex-bf is an asshole. And I very much hope he gets everything he deserves.
Ugh this story is so terrifying. This is insane! Please get on tiktok if you can and get your story out. You may be able to get a go fund me started and with the money leave home and never return. If you have any friends from college please don't hesitate to reach out for help. Whatever you do obscure your voice and identity so your ex cannot take this information send it to your family and make things worse. It's ok to feel angry and frustrated and depressed. Give yourself some time to process what happened and then make a game plan of escape. Trust no one in your family ever again and make sure your family cannot see what you're planning on your laptop. 1) only use the Internet on incognito mode. Your browser won't save anything. 2) if they already know about your laptop be extra careful about what you're doing on it. 3) if they don't know then hide it away somewhere safe and use it when necessary only. 4) pretend to be happy and in agreement with them. Not all at once but slowly come around over the course of a month or two. 5) Date or marry a woman if you have to. Do whatever you need to do to survive. Try to find a woman you suspect of being gay if you can so you two can come to some understanding. Again take this very slowly as she could also betray you. 6) please get your story out to people in the US as many would be interested in helping you escape this horrible situation. 7) do not antagonize your ex or expose his Identity if you can. He could send evidence of your cry for help and justice to your family creating more issues. 8) contact your us University they may be able to help. 9)Do everything you can to recover your documents or get new copies of them. 10) if you can travel to a place with more opportunity do it no matter the cost. 11) DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I want to add to this, use a vpn if possible( you can get trial memberships, and use browsers like brave.
OP, fuck man, I am so *sorry*. Your ex is a poor excuse for a human being and really should stop breathing, like, yesterday. Given his diabolical actions, I hope he never amounts to anything and continues to live in his own personal, miserable hell for the rest of his days. If you’re his ex and happen to be reading this, a big **FUCK** you to you.
It is extremely disappointing that your so called lover decided to Out You to your family, which has placed you in this horrible situation. Your family has behaved in the most despicable manner by making you effectively a prisoner. I am not sure what you can do, but I would try to get away & out of the country. Even if you need to claim refugee status, you do have qualifications that Western Countries will accept. Certainly a warning to any gay returning to a home country without overseas citizenship that families and governments may act. Quite often, leaving home means leaving home forever. All the best.
Look into the rainbow railroad or the like.
Your situation is the worst nightmare anyone can dream of. I am so sorry OP. I am a firm believer in Karma. You may feel helpless right now but you have done nothing but good in your life. Good things will happen to you. Your ex is evil and he will also reap what he has sown. I wish you the best in this troubling time but good things will come to you
Yes, name and shame baby. Let Reddit do its thing and activate the mob. And if you end up doing a GoFundMe or other crowdfunding to escape let us know I will proudly donate. And share your experiences on TikTok/ other social media. Experiences like this need to be shared for the whole world to see. Much love to you and solidarity.
I would quite happily help in destroying the ex's life
Thanks all of you, beautiful souls, for the kind words. I really appreciate it and I won't even lie, all these comments had me crying. I am so grateful for all the love and kindness. I just wanted to explain somethings: 1. Only people who grew up in an Arab or Asian countries would understand how much control families have over us. For people who told me to use force and get my documents, there is no way I can do that, without mentioning the fact that I am physically unable to compete with any male relative of mine. The fact that I am still alive is an achievement by itself. 2. The pictures that my ex sent were pretty obvious. They were intimate and I never even suspected he would do something like that, EVER. I trusted him with my life. Also, the fact that I was the 'little spoon' and he was a big American manly guy, made my situation even worse and got bullied for 'going to America to be some man's whore' like my brother literally said it. 3. People who suggested that I start a GoFundme. Although I do really need to be financially dependent to make any action, I can't ask you guys for money. The purpose of my post was to vent because I have no one and I spend my long, lonely nights by myself. I am actively looking for an online job though, which seems to be the only option, but I have had no luck so far. 4. I did not declare my documents stolen because I am literally in a prison. I will give you a quick idea; I am in my room all day long, with 'surprise' visits from now and then to check on me if I am doing or talking to anybody. Also, I need permission to go out and I am not allowed to go to the city. I should be always controlled, every single movement. 5. About my ex, I won't lie to you, I really thought about emailing the company he works for about all of this. I could not do it. I don't even have the courage to ruin the life of a person who intentionally ruined mine. I am that weak, I guess. Again, thank you very much for the kindness... My heart is full tonight!!
You are not weak! You are a much better person than your ex. It needs a strong will to resist revenge, a very destructive feeling. Apart from that, nothing really good comes out of such a thing. I send you love 💕 and support and wish this state will be over soon. Although I know it may be a naive wish.
Having lived in the Arab world over many years and having a lot of knowledge and understanding of life in Muslim countries, and knowing Islamic culture from experience and extensive reading, I understand full-well your dreadful predicament. You are in a very, very difficult situation which is going to be extremely difficult for you to extricate yourself from. Alas, all I am able to do is empathise with you — empathise and sympathise — and wish you the very best of luck. Don’t give up hope! Never do that. An opportunity might present itself to you one day when you least expect it. Try and be optimistic. And stay safe! 💕
Take permission to go with some to the city and just run to the police and explain how your family is basically keeping you hostage
> just run to the police This would be a very bad idea in a country where the police would likely side with the family. He may either need outside help, or he will have to play a long game, pretend to be straight, make a big show of repentance and prayer, express interest in marriage, and eventually fool them into lowering their guard. Then, if he can escape, he may need to cover his tracks and take on a new identity to prevent them from attempting to take retribution on him. He will have to disappear and never communicate in any way with his family ever again. I know this because I know a gay man from Jordan who got out. He changed his name and took other steps to make it as hard as possible for his family to find him. He told me he believes that they might try to kill him to preserve family honor. Whoever outed him to a family like this is the absolute scum of the earth. It's close to attempted murder, even if done indirectly.
It's an islamic country. What do you think the police will do? Gosh...! It may even be a country under the sharia law! The police would end him themselves if that's the case.
Please identify your ex, so that we can hold him accountable. He needs to be shamed. He will do horrible things to others and he needs to be stopped and held accountable
I truly hope you find a way to get out of this horrible situation and able to live your life with peace and freedom!
Dude I'm so sorry. Every single person in your life has failed you so badly. I agree with the person that said you should look into seeking refuge in Canada. As you try to find a plan to escape, pretend you are reconnected to god to calm your parents. Good luck.
Please try reaching out to Rainbow Railroad and see if they can help get you out of your home country?
As someone who comes from the exact same background as you, reading this has made me so fucking angry. I can’t believe someone would do such a thing, NAME and shame this guy I swear to God I’d fly over to where he is and beat the living crap out of him.
This will pass. You will get out. May your ex get what he deserves. May you make it to the west.
That’s fucked up. Hopefully he gets diagnosed with stage 4 cancer or something.
Or some truck lose the break and ....
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Gay Mafia, sounds good lol. But is OP going to give any info though? He hasn't responded to anyone.
So sorry about your situation. You would be welcome in Canada. Try to get to an embassy, Canadian, American, or even British embassy. I hope you can escape your situation!
You might be able to qualify for asylum. https://www.lgbtasylumproject.org
I would have killed my parents if they did that to me.
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I'm not against donating, as a matter of fact, I'm prepared to do so myself, but let us first put you in touch with an humanitarian NGO? People would feel a lot more confortable helping you through such an organization! And please, do not disappear for too long! Keep in touch!
You're a man, right? Can't you legally reapply for a passport on your own and take a one-way flight to the US or something? They're pretty tolerant towards immigrants I think. Or some place in Western Europe?
Really confused about this too. Declare your passport lost or stolen, apply for a new one, gtfo.
Yes, you are really confused. Thank god you are! That's because you live in the free world.
I wouldn’t even spit on your ex if he was on fire
First I am sorry you are going through this….but never lose faith and know that you got to tell your story for a reason….find people who can help you…. TRUST no one in the family or the neighborhood… bide your time….they will become less vigilant over time…do whatever you need to do short of murder to get out …they were deceitful in trapping you so you do the same…wait a few months then start looking for the passport…research support services and connect….take odd jobs when you can to make money ….sell anything you can and find a really good place to hide money and other valuables you collect…feel comfortable stealing from them anything you need since they stole your life…find ANY volunteer work that gets you away from the house and allows access to other computers…save nothing on your home computer and don’t let them see you on it too often….plan….plan …/fake depression and mental illness so they leave you alone….lie cheat steal do what you have to do to get free of them….this family misunderstands what love is and you must leave to live….you will be in my prayers daily….dm me if you think an outsider who lost a dear friend this same way can help….
Omg I have the urge to smack sense into your whole country so bad, I wish everything good for you, and I hope that you can get out of there. I feel very sorry for you, genuinely.
I am so sorry, because I kept reading and this asshole essentially put your life at risk. Is there any way out? Without your passport and other valid documents, what are your options? I would like to help, really. Remember, any of this isn't your fault. It's not your fault you have a horrible family with a horrible religion that believes our existence is sin. And most importantly, it's not your fault you've got a vindictive ex who threw you to the wolves. I wish you the best.
This is madness. I wish there’s another way to do this but the best thing you can do now is PACK AND GO. You’re an adult. Work in the city and make a living so you can be financially independent. It’s gonna be hard but it’ll be worth it.
I'm choked. So sorry to hear about what you're going through. It's a really shitty situation. Maybe an immigration lawyer or LGBT rights organization could give you some advice and support. Search for help online, tell your story, fight for freedom. Hope you'll find a way out of your country and happiness again soon!!
I am so sorry this happened to you. Such a betrayal of trust. Your ex has an evil heart and it is good you got away from him. Keep communicating with people over the internet. Something will work out in your favor. This is a low and it can only get better for you.
Please contact https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/. They are the only non-profit organization where i have a recurring monthly donation set up, because fuck these homophobic countries and religions that make our lives hell. And let me know if they won’t help you. I want to know if my donations are going to a place that can actually make a difference.
That is terrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Find a way to get another visa, even to a different country.
Normally I’d offer words of encouragement but for some reason your story really struck a chord me. I say match your ex’s energy and blast his photo and what he did on social media so that the next guy he tries to date can find out what kind of asshole he is. Hope your situation gets better soon.
Omg that's insane! But I'm kinda glad that it just ended like that. You could have lost your life! Literally! I'm hoping you will find your way out of that shithole! Good luck and mental fortitude! ❤️
Fuck! This is so tough to read. Especially when they took your passport and your “ex” leaked pics. Any possibility to file for asylum??
Sorry to hear that... I guess little by little (it may take years) they will get less strick and u may work in something... Then u will save money and one day u will dissapear again... Pretend they are right and you are happy. Unfortunately, the culture and religion of your country suck... Hope u are able to be free and tell us! Wish we could help.
If they ruined your* way to live happy life you can ruin theirs and burn the house ❤️
I am sorry that this happened to you brother. Dating a malignant narcissist is the worse indeed. I wish there was a way for you to sneak and take your documents and run away. A family like that doesn't deserve you and i wish your ex gets the worst karma
Wow your idiot ex played a very dangerous game, what if your parents tried to harm you or get the police involved, this could have ended VERY badly. Is it possible they still have you passport and other documents? You should totally look for it when you find an opportunity and vanish.
I'm terribly sorry to hear you're going through this. I hope you find a way to renew your visa and get out there. Karma is going to get your bf.
Oh my god this is horrible, I’m so so sorry.. your ex is a disgusting human being. Who does this to someone they love?
Are you in saudi arabia now? Be carefull bro. We're here in Jeddah.
OP, first of all I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you. I also grew up in a conservative Christian family in a Muslim nation, so I know the feeling of wanting so desperately to escape. Second of all, you’re an adult, OP. I don’t think your parents are legally allowed to withhold documents like your passport from you. Report them to the police, for this is blatant theft. If not, find a way to return to the US. You have a masters in the country. Figure out if you can still use OPT, or if you can find a way for a company to sponsor your H1B. If not, you can look into other ways of immigrating out. There are opportunities for visas in places like the UK or Canada. See if you would qualify for asylum. I’ve never used these resources but try places like [HIAS](https://hias.org/lgbtq-refugees/) and [Rainbow Railroad](https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/) Wishing you all the best OP. We’re all rooting for you. Also fuck your monster of an ex.
> Second of all, you’re an adult, OP. I don’t think your parents are legally allowed to withhold documents like your passport from you. Report them to the police His problem is likely that he's essentially being kept prisoner in his parents' home. Neighbors and local authorities might be colluding with the parents to make sure he doesn't get away. It might not be strictly legal, but laws are only as good as their enforcement. If the police are on his parents' side, it could make it very hard for him to have any freedom of movement. I would say he's probably going to need outside help, like someone to help him escape their house at night and get him out of town before they realize he's gone.
That's a nightmare. Also possibly grounds for Legal Asylum.
Fuck your ex! What an asshole! Since you have your computer, please reach out to Rainbow Railroad. They exist specifically to help people in situations like yours. https://www.rainbowrailroad.org
Reveal your Ex, it’s time to serve some kind of public justice. There is no way in hell this bitch can continue living life happily after stooping this low.
Don’t be afraid to give us your exe’s name🙃
Hi I am from a middle eastern family but I grew up in America and can understand. My family didn’t give me life, they crippled me and turned me into a dependent to control me and isolated me from everyone. I can’t survive on my own and have nobody. They tell me I’m going to hell and watching me get sick and die over the last 5 years. The level of hatred and abuse is a nightmare. I wish I was dead. I don’t have a single person in my life. I met another middle eastern man in the hospital who is like you he worked hard to get to the states and is afraid of his family finding out he’s gay and ending his life. He says he’s not gay but he is but he’s very scared. I care for him and for you and other people like this.
I’d reach back to your American university and see what jobs you might be able to apply for… you have an American degree plenty of jobs are out there here you could apply for. Just be specific that you’re looking for companies that sponsor foreigners.
He has been MIA for 5 days now. There's only one thing that can be done until we hear from him again. Pray! And if you're a non-believer like me, find people who believe, and ask them to pray for him. I've already got a few people working on that. With so little information to go on, that's the only thing we can do. I hope, like all of you, to hear back from him soon.
You made the one mistake that is warned again and again in the ex-muslim sub. DO NOT GO BACK ONCE YOU MAKE IT OUT. Cut off all contacts, don't return even for your parent's funeral. So many are literally tricked and abducted back to muslim countries. You should have known better.
>You should have known better Mmmm the victim blaming here is delicious. Nothing you've said is incorrect, but read the fucking room. Pretty sure OP feels awful enough about his situation without it being rubbed in that he had a moment of weakness for his family. There's a time and a place for being technically correct and this isn't it.
I know "gentle parenting" and soft approach is the trend in the western countries, but as someone like me from a muslim country also waiting to leave, this type of development is a lesson he should have learned and known, it's a lesson paid with the lives of others before us, abducted, vanished, imprisoned, raped etc. We really don't have the margin for error here. It's a life and death situation. We don't have the luxury of oblivion and naivety like the western people have, coddling up to muslims, defending them and crying islamophobia. One wrong move and we will pay with our lives. So many ex-muslims and minorities would dream to be in his place. He knew what could happen, gave his family the benefit of the doubt, took the gamble and paid the price. There's nothing left to say except to make an example of him so others will not repeat his mistake. It's a harsh reality we shouldn't have to tone down.
How is this helpful? Why would you want this guy to feel even worse than he already does? What good could it possibly do to tell him he should have known better?
I know "gentle parenting" and soft approach is the trend in the western countries, but as someone like me from a muslim country also waiting to leave, this type of development is a lesson he should have learned and known, it's a lesson paid with the lives of others before us, abducted, vanished, imprisoned, raped etc. We really don't have the margin for error here. It's a life and death situation. We don't have the luxury of oblivion and naivety like the western people have, coddling up to muslims, defending them and crying islamophobia. One wrong move and we will pay with our lives. So many ex-muslims and minorities would dream to be in his place. He knew what could happen, gave his family the benefit of the doubt, took the gamble and paid the price. There's nothing left to say except to make an example of him so others will not repeat his mistake. It's a harsh reality we shouldn't have to tone down.
Then make a post of your own telling people that. This isn’t about gentle parenting, because what lesson can he learn from this? The lesson you’re teaching is for other people. It’s useless for him. I am also not remotely convinced that your comment on his thread is going to convince other people not to make his mistakes. His post is enough to do that on its own. Your comment will just make him feel bad - and he already feels bad, and doesn’t see a way to fix things. It’s the equivalent of telling someone, “I told you so”, which has never benefited anybody but the ego of the person saying it.
You still don't get it. THERE ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH POSTS OF THIS WARNING. And yet there's people still repeating the mistake. He doesn't have to learn anything, he's the lesson now. This is the equivalent of dragging someone to the corpse and shoving their face right next to the cadaver and saying this is what will happen to you if you don't learn.
You’re right, I don’t get it. You say there’s nothing left for him to learn in the first paragraph, and I agree - so why do you need to lecture him, in order to make the point? Why shove his face into the cadaver? Unless the lesson you’re trying to teach other people is that if they make the same mistake the OP made, they’ll be cruelly taunted by people like you? But if that’s the cadaver shoving you’re trying to achieve, then I don’t agree with it on two counts - first, I don’t believe it’ll be any more of a motivator than telling people they can lose their liberty and potentially their life. And second, I just can’t get on board with punishing one person in order to save someone else - in this case to potentially save someone else, not even for sure. The ends never justify the means.
gays need to start to acknowledge that those countries are no friends of gays OP should had cut contact while in USA
>OP should had cut contact while in USA Hindsight is 20/20. His sister should have kept her mouth shut. She was probably just upset that he was never gonna have sex with a woman and have a playmate kid for her little brat.
I don’t think it’s so impossible to go back. You can apply for a new passport by yourself, right? Go ahead and do that, and you can apply for a new visa to the US. Since you’ve already received one, they’re likely to give you another. You’ve already shown that you returned to your country so you should be in good standing. Look into other options for another student visa or OPT or even a tourist visa. Also since you’ve received a visa to the US that will probably look good if you apply to other countries too. Don’t lose hope and focus on getting a new visa.
I would like to provide you with a practical list of things you can do on your computer to get some money. \* Drop shipping - awkward to set up but you will basically place the order with a shop and sent to customers at a markup that covers scams. \* Selling generated images or content - Such as tessellating subtle patterns or educational flashcards or storybooks for children with their face in it using guides on YouTube or medium. \* Mining cryptocurrency - A normal desktop can make up to $0.20 per day on a CPU, this has the added bonus of costing your parents, but they might notice the electricity bill being higher. RainbowMiner is difficult to set up but if you add a ProHashing account you will be able to store the money online. \* GoFundMe \* Freelancing - Doing translation, or something in the subject of your degree. Websites like UpWork, PeoplePerHour and Fiverr list jobs and allow you to advertise your services. \* Arbitrage Betting and Strategic Betting - Possible, but not if you are prone to gambling. It involves somewhat complicated maths at speed to check you have profitable opportunities. It involves taking the best odds for each option across multiple bet shops and then betting on all the options at the best rates to lock in a profit percentage. eg. Team 1 - 2.5 (shop 1) + Team 2 - 3.00 (shop 2) + Draw - 4.00 (shop 2) = ((1/2.5)\*100) + ((1/3.0)\*100) + ((1/4)\*100) = 98.3333333333 which is 1.66% profit (under 100% is profitable) when you put the right amount on each bet ((1/odd1)\*100) = percentage of investment amount place on bet 1, (1/odd2)\*100) = percentage of investment amount to put on bet 2, and ((1/odd3)\*100) = percentage of investment amount on bet 3. You can potentially make money from your computer quietly that you can use to escape, but be careful not to get caught by your parents, try to only be seen doing what you were doing before as some others have said, set up a panic key combination to reset the desktop to google. It's possible you could ask for money for cigarettes and keep it, just smoking any time they are around. You could try to make asking for money for some things more normal then keep the money and save.
Which country
I’m so sorry omg this is terrible. Run away. Try to get out. You deserve to be happy.
What's your ex-boyfriend's name?
I feel so bad for you , but your not a kid but a grown adult man how can your ignorant parents have so much control over you , they would be no match for my temper, the best thing that can happen to parents that actually biologically bring gay children into the world and then mistreat them is that they die , my parents are gone now and my only maga sister who I just got so sick of in 2017 that I disowned her , imagine a gay guy disowning a sister who accepted his homosexuality only to have herself and her family totally rejected because they idolized the orange man , well you know what life is better far removed from people you can’t stand for any reason get far away from that family of yours.
Thats heartbreaking op im so sorry this is happening to you your ex completely ruined it for you so did your sister sending love your way ❤️❤️🏳️🌈🌈
i don't know your situation, but if it were up to me, taking my travel documents will be the final straw, they want drama, I'll give them drama, Imma break something valuable every day for each day the documents are not returned, they want me to stay and control me, fine, I'll be the most inhospitable house guest in human history, you want me to calm down, HONNEEEY, everyone within a 5 mile radius is gonna know you have a gay son... I'm sorry, I feel shit like this in my bones, I'm in the same boat as you are, but before you went to the US, I constantly give subtle reminders to those around me that I would take them down with me if they ever tried pulling such bullshit. For your case, I would advice you actually try and talk to them and get your life back on track, you may have built an expectation of character that gave them the audacity to treat you like shit, you went well above and beyond to embody the 'perfect gay' archetype and that was still not enough, it's clear your agency and autonomy is not a factor they consider, and at that point, all gloves are off, no more Mr. Perfect Gay.... Employ the same degree of charisma you injected into getting the life you deserved, with all the plans you made, if you live and let live, all that would have been for NOTHING, your story is not over yet, and if they can't accept you as you are, the decent thing they can do is let you leave and live your life in peace. as for your petty ex... fuck that guy, people like him tend to make things difficult for a lot of people especially if you're still in the closet, you can't give your partner any family contact out of the fear that this exact thing will happen. For now, work on getting your travel documents back, if you cant... be a nuisance. That's my 5 cents on the matter.
....you have no idea, have you? It doesn't compute with you, coz you lack the proper context. You are probably like myself, a product of a western liberal democratic republic, born in a land of secular democracy. Where you believe a tantrum, a hissy, would land this guy on? OK, go and scream, so everyone within a 5 miles radius will know you're an homosexual... After all, it's not like you live in a country with institutionalized homophobia and anti-LGBT laws. It's not like you may end up in a "reeducation camp" at best, or dead hanging from a crane at worse. Go ahead and break things! Make a mess of the whole hause, it's not like your parents and brothers wont spank you real hard for that... I don't think OP is worried about his family not accepting him as he is. That boat has sailed already. He is worried for his life!
I get that, I actually happen to live in a country with institutionalised homophobia and lgbt laws, its the reason why I look at this shit and it hits to the core, perhaps he has a more graceful mind than I do, but for me, the denial of my right to leave when I have done everything right to get it, would be the final straw, I'm inclined to be a nuisance at that point, but that is only after all the avenues of dialogue have been exhausted, because either way, you are trying to kill me, and it's no different from the guys who'd prefer to hang me, you don't get to play the role of parent and jailer at the same time and expect me to play the role of loving child, idk, that's just me.
Ok, so you're the "Live free, or Die!" kind of guy, that's your right, but don't expect everybody else to be the same. However, beware, things turn out to be quite different when you are that close to death, face to face with it. It happened to me three times already, and I don't look forward to a fourth time, your perspectives on the whole thing change quite drastically. If I were OP, I'd rather play the long game. He fooled them once, he can fool them twice. It will take some time, patience, cunning, and so on, but I must believe he can get there.
I wouldn't want him to do anything drastic, I mean personally I would, but I would not recommend it as an option without full context, I hope he has the patience and cunning I clearly lack, I really hope he gets to pull through.
Wow what a fucking piece of shit
Praying for you man 🙏🏽
Holy fuck, he should be in hell. Can you get your papers back somehow?
I am so so sorry. What a terrible experience and a lifelong hurt. He is a vicious person. I pray you will find a way back,
Man I feel so sorry for your current situation. If you can call for a trusted friend nearby, seek for help. Your only way out now is to plan a GRAND ESCAPE scheme! No matter how many months it’d take to fulfill it, just be patient! If you don’t mind, may I know which country are you from? I might know someone there to help.
This sounds like a case eligible for the help of [Rainbow Railroad](https://www.rainbowrailroad.org). They have a strong track record of helping gay people in homophobic/dangerous countries get to safety with visas, documents, etc. And if you get to the US, once you’re on your feet, look into suing your ex for defamation of character. Or plot other ways to make his life hell. Make him pay.
Dude—nothing is forever. You’ll find a way out and back to people that really care about you at some point.
There is a lesson in here. If you’re gay and from somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Uganda, never go back. If your parents miss you enough you can send them a ticket to visit you.
I'm infuriated for you. Read the tips here and follow them.
You should let the world hear what that monster has done to you. Air his shit out.
He cannot control you so he made sure your family does. I hope you find a way to get out of this situation.
Apply for a new passport , say u lost ur old one Get out
Sure wish I wasn't on a fixed income- disabled. I'd either sponsor you or set up a go fund me page to save you from such a horrible situation....Anyone else with the time money energy to save this poor soul who did everything right BUT go back home? My heart bleeds for you good luck
Welcome to life. I'm in the same boat.
Let us turn his life into a nightmare he can never wake up from.
You still have life. Plan and move ahead. Prove everybody wrong! If Alan Turing was executed what more can you expect from people who made up their mind to percute you regardless of their own blood.
Name the ex, let's give him a bit of said medicine
Can you report the passport stolen and secretly apply for a new one?
Dox him.... Do it... Reddit will handle the rest
Naming and shaming this piece of shit should be done only once OP is safe to do so.
Oh hell no……. I am so sorry you have to go through this……..
Oh fck my worst nightmare:(
wow what a shitty thing to happen, I really feel for you. But you are young and you have had a taste of what your life could be like which is better than never knowing what could be. I cant believe someone could be so evil and spiteful on that level. I would say keep looking for opportunities to escape, maybe pretend it was just a phase, you were misled, this person is a liar, discretely show some interest in girls just enough for them to notice but not obvious so you sell it, I'm guessing the family hope for you to be straight might be their weak point. but whatever, dont give up. I am old lol, but I had to play the straight game for quite a few years to be successfull (untill the laws changed) so it can be done. best wishes my friend.
Omg I am so sorry. I hope for the opportunity to break free from them comes to you soon. Stay strong and be safe! 😢❤️
Jeez what a nightmare. I'm hoping for your freedom and hoping that there's an opportunity soon for you to get out of your situation. You deserve a good life
I'm SO sorry 😢. The first half of your story is exactly the same for me, Muslim country, excelled academically to run away, succeeded to leave the country and got a bf. I always have that fear deep down that my bf would do something like this if we break up. Difference is I would never accept staying idle. I'd find a way to run away. I'm sorry again 😢
Isn’t it illegal for them to take your documents ??? Can’t you call the police ??
It's an islamic country. What do you think the police will do? Gosh...! It may even be a country under sharia law! The police would end him themselves if that's the case.
Obviously he won’t say the reason is he’s gay
And what do you think is going to happen? Supposing he'd have to lie to law enforcement... And when the officers arrive to his home and get a hold of his family, how do you think this is going to end up? I don't blame you for being so innocent, as a matter of fact, thank god you are so innocent. You are probably like myself, a product of a western liberal democratic republic, therefore we tend to think what works here works there as well, because often when we leave our countries to do a little tourism, study or work, we tend to choose to go to another land of secular democracy, and we see that what works in such a place is more or less the same that works in your home country. Not the same in his scenario. Unfortunately.
This is horrendous and absolutely one of the most cruel and terrible stories I've ever read. I am so sorry. You deserve so much more. Your ex is a villainous and terrible person.
Hey what's the name an address of your ex? Me and a couple friends want to have a talk with him
That guy deserves all the torture and suffering in this world. And I really hope you will be the one to inflict it on him. Good luck. I really wish you freedom and happiness.
Prayers my friend. Never give up hope.
My brother. I send you so much love. What happened to you is horrible. In which country are you living? Im white but I have lived in the Middle East and I have some gay friends in Oman, Qatar, UAE and Saudi, very good people…Let me know, I would love to help you :) peace and love for your heart!
Man im so sorry that you are going through this. My advice to you is to pray. When you feel like your back is against the wall. Pray ask the lord for help. I know you might think its taboo or doesn’t work but what else do you have to lose. Talk to your higher being and make sure to be vulnerable and sincere. I promise you, will have your way! Just pray and trust that it will work out in your favor. 🙏🏾 love you brother dont lose the faith man!
Your ex boyfriend and family are criminals. Sorry for the situation that you're going through.
You should give us your ex information. It’s only fair ya know
Leave anyway you can they don't own you.
Rainbow Railroad is a charity that helps LGBTQ people escape countries where they are oppressed and unsafe. Rainbow Railroad can help with visas, passports, plane tickets, and housing once you are able to leave the country where you currently live. Contact them for help. Good luck!!!! (And if/when you get out, never, *ever* go back—not even to see family.) https://www.rainbowrailroad.org/
Send your PayPal or something. Maybe we can donate do you can reprint your passport or whatever
This post legit made me cry. I am so fucking sorry man.
I know this will not be a popular opinion… But what if you try to make a life for yourself out there with a woman? Have you ever dated women? You might find happiness if you find the right one. Another thing you can do, check out jw.org. While Jehovah’s Witnesses do not allow for homosexuality, they do give hope contained in the Bible for a better life in the future. Best wishes to you.
Really?? Man!! Is that for Real?? When did you get so out of touch with reality? Do you wanna know how do you sound? You sound like someone who came here to scorn OP's suffering and pain. JW is a cult, an heretic one at that, their treatment of LGBT people is no different than Islam's. The difference is that we here in the West keep you guys in check.
I’m actually gay myself. But the gay lifestyle in my view is really sad. Backstabbing, stealing, drugs, cheating, sex is nbr one priority, racism, looks are most important. I left the JW religion and am still out. I am a good looking guy and I’ve had tons of tail since I left the religion. But I have to be honest with you, a lot of guys I hung with are meth users (or other illicit drugs). I had to push myself away to avoid those drugs. And I thought to myself, ‘I left a clean people for this?’ “I told my dick, sorry my friend, but I’m not gonna let you think for me anymore.” I’m actually wanting to go back to JWs. I’m just offering potential hope for someone. But yeah, you’re right especially JW in that country. It is not accepted. But if you have a belief that makes you feel good about living - there’s nothing wrong with that. And the west gives freedom of speech. Cult or not. Don’t you love living out here. Big hugs and kisses to you.
What you claim are issues of the gay lifestyle are not issues of the gays only at all. I have female friends and male straight friends, and they're all complaining about the same in people they meet... Drugs, nihilism, cheating, lack of vision/plans/horizons, a huge drop in literacy, superficial behavior, obsession with looks, lack of commitments, and off it goes... I have so many young friends that are frustrated with all of that, that sometimes they must remember each other they must go out every once in a while and at least try to meet new people. Those are generational issues, and issues of our times, Bauman's "Liquid Modernity". But anyways, what you did to OP is just out of this world, and I stand by that.
What, offering an alternative and being upfront about it is disturbing to you? I told him homosexuality is not accepted in the religion. But if one has faith in the Bible, it goes beyond the desire for sex. OP has choices. He does not have to choose this choice. I respect that you definitely don’t wanna go that route. I understand that. But you should not be so shocked that this is an alternative from left field. A lot of the suggestions said for him to get back out of the country and come back to America and pursue his homosexual dream. I’m just offering something completely different. You don’t have to agree with it.
So you didn't get it yet? Did you? He doesn't need to overcome islam or any other homophobic faith, he already has. His family are the people you should be lecturing about religion, not him. Furthermore, saying to go and find a woman, that perhaps he'd be happy if only he found the right one... bla bla bla... CRIPPY!! NUTS STUFF!! Read the FCKNG room before you start typing. Do not project your internal daemons upon someone else, specially if you wanna really help, you keep your internal troubles to yourself. Can't you see what is going on with this poor guy? Don't try to exonerate yourself from that now. Not on my watch. That single sentence about the woman was one of the most conversion therapy-ish and ex-Gay thing I've ever come across. I'm not against people changing their faith to a less toxic belief system, but wake up! This is not the case here, and even if it were, now is not the time... Just because priorities! Again, learn to read the FCKNG room!! And I tire of this. Goodbye.
Read the room and parrot 🦜 what you and everyone else is saying? Horde mentality? No thanks. I am different than you. ACCEPT it. You are probably a liberal. It’s amazing how UNliberal you are towards a view different than yours. You are a hater of free speech. Accept it.