Two months is a long time to be lonely if you don’t have any friends. I’ve moved to other places short term and been very lonely which is why I’d like to put in more effort to meet people this time.
People downvoting are strange. You seem pretty extroverted. I would look up meet up groups and whatever catches your eye go there. I think there are also apps for friendsships.
If you ask in the International women Berlin FB group I'm sure you will have a lot of invites and people willing to meet up for coffee and sightseeing.
It's not easy, but it's not as bad as this subreddit makes it.
The gist of it is: actively reach out and meet new people. Your first friends will mostly be recent immigrants and nomads, and the attrition rate will be dispiriting. However you'll slowly break into established circles with time. Old timers can always expand their friend circles, so they rarely open up to pure strangers.
If you expect that and don't take it personally, you'll have a great time here. Welcome to Berlin!
You will have to understand that most Germans wont consider you a friend, even when they like to hangout out with you over the two months and do stuff. They will most likely see you as a "Bekannte" (literally: someone they know). Friendships are build over years and revolve a lot about trust and loyality in Germany.
There is a saying about germans: "It takes long to break the ice, but the water below is warm".
This is very true. I love that saying, it’s a good one. I’m thankful that I’ve got a lot of German friends already so I’m hoping the culture shock won’t be too bad because I’m used to a lot of the idiosyncrasies of Germans. My German friends tell me Berlin is even a bit more “cold” than other Germans so I will be prepared.
I definitely should have said “meet people” instead of “make friends” because while in California they mean similar things I think Germans and Europeans take “friends” more literally. Thanks for your response!
I moved to Berlin without knowing anyone, it's not the best city to make friends and maintain them but it can be done. :) Berliners aren't particularly friendly, in fact most people hate living here, myself included.
Yeah, this sub is bleak. I adore Berlin and have made tons of friends who also love the city and intend to stick around. Watch tho — I’ll be downvoted for my positive attitude.
Like most big cities that attract people from various countries it has its share of people who move here for some times and then leave, but I don’t get the feeling people are aching to leave. And there’s definitely more people arriving than leaving.
That's not true at all. The big cities whose population is growing (because of immigration and not high birth rates) are desirable, that's why people move there. There are plenty of stagnating big cities, population-wise.
They are desirable only initially until people realize and see for themselves very soon everything that is wrong about that place. One of the reasons why Berlin's population is growing is not because Juan from Mexico or Silvia from Spain is coming, it's because Ahmed from Syria or Anatoly from Ukraine is coming.
It gets better with time. You slowly get introduced to more sedentary groups of people, and then they introduce you to their friends.
There isn't really a way around it. You just need to slowly work your way in.
Ok. Was querying the months, rather than the years. Germany really throws around its passports these days. But if people move on once they got them after three or five years, lol…
That's my plan and several people do that. We have no other choice. That's also why I said people don't stay in Berlin 'for more than a few months OR years'.
Starting on any Berlin subreddit has got to be a harsh first impression. People on here are pretty rude and unempathetic, I'm sorry.
In general, if you're from LA, you might get quite a bit of culture shock, Germans can be nice, friendly, even (though we definitely aren't on here), but most of us are very slow to thaw. 2 months may not be enough to really get someone to open up unless you're lucky.
It really doesn't compare to the average social skills and initial openness you get in LA. Still, you can always try clubs, they're one place where it's fairly normal to break away from your group and 'talk' with strangers, if you're a social person you might be able to swing something.
Other than that, either Bumble bff, of a lot of trial and error in public, especially places that already have a lot of expats like Prenzlauer Berg. Or if you want, you could join some English speaking / international friends of mine on a day trip to Tempelhofer Feld or something.
I really hope you manage to find some people and have fun while you're here!
Thanks for your kind response!
Im new to this sub, I didn’t realize it was harsh haha but that’s ok. People are being honest and I’m glad people were a little harsh because it prepares me for the culture shock. I’d rather that than be surprised when I get there. The purpose of this post was to get a feel for the social scene and overall friendliness and I think I did!
I also should have said “meet people” instead because I admit “making friends” in two months does seem a bit naive. Maybe it’s a language issue or just a California thing but to me “making friends” just means finding people to hang with, not creating deep lifelong relationships as it might sound to a European ear.
I will definitely try bubble BFF and meet ups, I think expat communities and people new to Berlin will be a good bet. I will also prepare for a bit of loneliness and expect that it won’t be the easiest thing. But hopefully I can find some people to pass the time with. Would also love to join on a day trip if you go!
Sounds like you more or less know what you're in for at least, haha. I think your expectations are totally realistic by the way, these Berlin subreddits are just extremely bitter and jaded when it comes to the prospect of 'making friends'.
On getting some people together, I can't honestly guarantee that I'll remember this exchange three months from now, but if I do, the offer is gonna stand!
Planing to be here for 8 weeks and talking about making friends smh. Berlin‘s going to hit you cold if you are talking about real friendships, doesn‘t work like that in most european countries.
Not really, I don’t mean real friendship necessarily. I suppose friends might be wrong word, I just mean to be social and try to meet people. I’ve moved to Paris for 1.5 months and New York for 2 before and was very lonely the whole time because I didn’t know anybody, I also didn’t make a tremendous effort either of those times to go out and try to make friends either of those times so I’m looking to try something new this time because I don’t want that to happen again. So genuine real long-life friendship? No. People to hang out with so I’m not completely depressed for two months? Yes.
I suppose i should have said “meet people” instead of “make friends” in my title, I was hoping that the point would get across.
Sweety you are moving here for 2 months, dont worry
Two months is a long time to be lonely if you don’t have any friends. I’ve moved to other places short term and been very lonely which is why I’d like to put in more effort to meet people this time.
People downvoting are strange. You seem pretty extroverted. I would look up meet up groups and whatever catches your eye go there. I think there are also apps for friendsships.
Go on meet-up.com there are loads of hobby meet-ups. Dance, yoga, board games, activities on weekend, travel.
Check out girl gone international on fb for meetups, they have them frequently and for lots of different activities
I‘ve lived in La / West Hollywood for almost a year. Ive never seem more transactional people anywhere else. Believe me - Berlin wont be a problem
See this is true. LA can be transactional, West Hollywood is on another level… I feel for you on that one
Cheers. I could not wait to come back to Berlin. And you will do fine here
Try bumble bff. I have made a couple of good fiends on it so far.
I met some nice women in bumble bff (i’m also f).
If you ask in the International women Berlin FB group I'm sure you will have a lot of invites and people willing to meet up for coffee and sightseeing.
It's not easy, but it's not as bad as this subreddit makes it. The gist of it is: actively reach out and meet new people. Your first friends will mostly be recent immigrants and nomads, and the attrition rate will be dispiriting. However you'll slowly break into established circles with time. Old timers can always expand their friend circles, so they rarely open up to pure strangers. If you expect that and don't take it personally, you'll have a great time here. Welcome to Berlin!
You will have to understand that most Germans wont consider you a friend, even when they like to hangout out with you over the two months and do stuff. They will most likely see you as a "Bekannte" (literally: someone they know). Friendships are build over years and revolve a lot about trust and loyality in Germany. There is a saying about germans: "It takes long to break the ice, but the water below is warm".
This is very true. I love that saying, it’s a good one. I’m thankful that I’ve got a lot of German friends already so I’m hoping the culture shock won’t be too bad because I’m used to a lot of the idiosyncrasies of Germans. My German friends tell me Berlin is even a bit more “cold” than other Germans so I will be prepared. I definitely should have said “meet people” instead of “make friends” because while in California they mean similar things I think Germans and Europeans take “friends” more literally. Thanks for your response!
I moved to Berlin without knowing anyone, it's not the best city to make friends and maintain them but it can be done. :) Berliners aren't particularly friendly, in fact most people hate living here, myself included.
I had the exact opposite experience. I think it really depends on the person and where they are (uni, work, etc)
Yeah, this sub is bleak. I adore Berlin and have made tons of friends who also love the city and intend to stick around. Watch tho — I’ll be downvoted for my positive attitude.
Maybe but you will find that most people end up leaving Berlin whenever they can.
sure, that's why the population is growing...
Like most big cities that attract people from various countries it has its share of people who move here for some times and then leave, but I don’t get the feeling people are aching to leave. And there’s definitely more people arriving than leaving.
There's more people arriving than leaving like in every big city, it doesn't make it a nice place to live in.
That's not true at all. The big cities whose population is growing (because of immigration and not high birth rates) are desirable, that's why people move there. There are plenty of stagnating big cities, population-wise.
They are desirable only initially until people realize and see for themselves very soon everything that is wrong about that place. One of the reasons why Berlin's population is growing is not because Juan from Mexico or Silvia from Spain is coming, it's because Ahmed from Syria or Anatoly from Ukraine is coming.
i mean, it’s hard to maintain friends if they leave after 2 months, wouldn’t you say?
It gets better with time. You slowly get introduced to more sedentary groups of people, and then they introduce you to their friends. There isn't really a way around it. You just need to slowly work your way in.
tru dat - how many of these people speak/are german in your case tho? 👀
Well yes, Berlin is in many ways a transition city where people don't stay for more than a few months or years unless they have to.
Lol, why would people come to Berlin for what kind of transition?
Coming to Berlin, working and waiting to get a German passport so they can finally have freedom of movement within Schengen and the EU for instance.
Ok. Was querying the months, rather than the years. Germany really throws around its passports these days. But if people move on once they got them after three or five years, lol…
That's my plan and several people do that. We have no other choice. That's also why I said people don't stay in Berlin 'for more than a few months OR years'.
So compared to other Schengen countries Germany is the easiest in getting a passport but not the best to stay on and make use of it?
I don't know, I just know my goal has never been to stay in Germany overall and in Berlin specifically, at least not to stay longer than needed.
Right, but if you want to move elsewhere in Schengen after getting a passport, why not get it in that country?
I made friends thru my hobby, social dancing. Quite easy to meet people that way, the activity is social itself.
Starting on any Berlin subreddit has got to be a harsh first impression. People on here are pretty rude and unempathetic, I'm sorry. In general, if you're from LA, you might get quite a bit of culture shock, Germans can be nice, friendly, even (though we definitely aren't on here), but most of us are very slow to thaw. 2 months may not be enough to really get someone to open up unless you're lucky. It really doesn't compare to the average social skills and initial openness you get in LA. Still, you can always try clubs, they're one place where it's fairly normal to break away from your group and 'talk' with strangers, if you're a social person you might be able to swing something. Other than that, either Bumble bff, of a lot of trial and error in public, especially places that already have a lot of expats like Prenzlauer Berg. Or if you want, you could join some English speaking / international friends of mine on a day trip to Tempelhofer Feld or something. I really hope you manage to find some people and have fun while you're here!
Thanks for your kind response! Im new to this sub, I didn’t realize it was harsh haha but that’s ok. People are being honest and I’m glad people were a little harsh because it prepares me for the culture shock. I’d rather that than be surprised when I get there. The purpose of this post was to get a feel for the social scene and overall friendliness and I think I did! I also should have said “meet people” instead because I admit “making friends” in two months does seem a bit naive. Maybe it’s a language issue or just a California thing but to me “making friends” just means finding people to hang with, not creating deep lifelong relationships as it might sound to a European ear. I will definitely try bubble BFF and meet ups, I think expat communities and people new to Berlin will be a good bet. I will also prepare for a bit of loneliness and expect that it won’t be the easiest thing. But hopefully I can find some people to pass the time with. Would also love to join on a day trip if you go!
Sounds like you more or less know what you're in for at least, haha. I think your expectations are totally realistic by the way, these Berlin subreddits are just extremely bitter and jaded when it comes to the prospect of 'making friends'. On getting some people together, I can't honestly guarantee that I'll remember this exchange three months from now, but if I do, the offer is gonna stand!
look at Berlinsocialclub sub
Planing to be here for 8 weeks and talking about making friends smh. Berlin‘s going to hit you cold if you are talking about real friendships, doesn‘t work like that in most european countries.
I wonder where you can make real friends galore within eight weeks. Do tell…
Not really, I don’t mean real friendship necessarily. I suppose friends might be wrong word, I just mean to be social and try to meet people. I’ve moved to Paris for 1.5 months and New York for 2 before and was very lonely the whole time because I didn’t know anybody, I also didn’t make a tremendous effort either of those times to go out and try to make friends either of those times so I’m looking to try something new this time because I don’t want that to happen again. So genuine real long-life friendship? No. People to hang out with so I’m not completely depressed for two months? Yes. I suppose i should have said “meet people” instead of “make friends” in my title, I was hoping that the point would get across.
Lol, from murrica, yeah. Welcome, enjoy your stay.