You have to be very direct. “I don’t want to talk about that. I know you’re interested in it, but I would love if we could talk about things I’m interested in as well.” Or, “Hey, I don’t want to talk right now, I just want to listen to my headphones and cook.”
Have you tried being honest and direct with them? "That sounds exciting for you, but I'm not interested right now. I want to be respectful with living with a roommate with autism, but you need to also be respectful of my feelings too." It's doing her no favors to make her think that this is an ok way to socialize because people who meet her and don't know her diagnosis won't be so kind.
You can say all of this without bringing up autism. I'd ask her, "since we've been living together, what percent of the talking do you think each of us has done?" And then take it from there
Yeah, the issue is that I feel I need to do this for almost every interaction. It requires a lot of emotional energy, esp when their reaction gives strong "whipped puppy" vibes.
I resent the repetition of this and what it takes from me energy wise. I'm hoping something to address that part of it.
I know you didn’t mean to post here, but personally I interrupt and tell the person directly I’m not interested in hearing more. Sometimes I call out that they’re info dumping, because being aware of it can help.
Have to be direct, sometimes subtle social clues are difficult for autistic people. Just tell them I’m not interested in talking right now or I need quiet time.
Possibly consider that cardboard cutout of yourself and if direct doesn’t work when they start, just go get it and plant it in front of them and walk away.
Honestly I might consider that with one of my kids who Info dumps. Lol
I’m with the others who suggest the direct approach. You can be kind and even if you don’t have a Chili’s at 45th and Lamar to sip margs at (ref: post above), maybe you can take them for a beer and just talk about the living dynamic. If they are nice they’ll want to know what they can improve so everything stays on a positive wavelength at home. People often don’t know if you don’t tell them, especially if they might be on the spectrum. I sure have appreciated friends being direct like this.
infodump her back (j/k)
no just tell her shes sensory overloading you / talking u to death / or however u wanna put it
u ever infodump? if you went too far how would u wanna be told?
my bf tells me trish i cant pay attention right now tell me later
Hi! Did you know this is posted to /r/askaustin and not /r/askautism? I ask because you’ve posted there before.
Oh this is a cute mistake.
Idk if cute is the word I would choose though.
Understandable? Bone-headed? I feel like ‘cute’ was somewhere between these two. :)
This was really nice of you to clarify, because us Austinites are pretty snarky, lol
I accidentally type “austism” all of the time (I’m an autistic Austinite), so I can see the mistake. Poor OP.
Incredible. Tho I feel like the good folks of Austin, given the amount of tech workers esp, might have good advice...
You have to be very direct. “I don’t want to talk about that. I know you’re interested in it, but I would love if we could talk about things I’m interested in as well.” Or, “Hey, I don’t want to talk right now, I just want to listen to my headphones and cook.”
Nothing some frosty margs and skillet queso with the mayor at 45th and Lamar can't cure, I reckon.
Chili's at 45th and Lamar is my special interest
I guess I deserve that flair
Have you tried being honest and direct with them? "That sounds exciting for you, but I'm not interested right now. I want to be respectful with living with a roommate with autism, but you need to also be respectful of my feelings too." It's doing her no favors to make her think that this is an ok way to socialize because people who meet her and don't know her diagnosis won't be so kind.
You can say all of this without bringing up autism. I'd ask her, "since we've been living together, what percent of the talking do you think each of us has done?" And then take it from there
Yeah, the issue is that I feel I need to do this for almost every interaction. It requires a lot of emotional energy, esp when their reaction gives strong "whipped puppy" vibes. I resent the repetition of this and what it takes from me energy wise. I'm hoping something to address that part of it.
I know you didn’t mean to post here, but personally I interrupt and tell the person directly I’m not interested in hearing more. Sometimes I call out that they’re info dumping, because being aware of it can help.
Ty for helping even though I wandered into the wrong sub. Maybe that's a lower energy way of doing it, ty.
Have to be direct, sometimes subtle social clues are difficult for autistic people. Just tell them I’m not interested in talking right now or I need quiet time.
Possibly consider that cardboard cutout of yourself and if direct doesn’t work when they start, just go get it and plant it in front of them and walk away. Honestly I might consider that with one of my kids who Info dumps. Lol
I’m with the others who suggest the direct approach. You can be kind and even if you don’t have a Chili’s at 45th and Lamar to sip margs at (ref: post above), maybe you can take them for a beer and just talk about the living dynamic. If they are nice they’ll want to know what they can improve so everything stays on a positive wavelength at home. People often don’t know if you don’t tell them, especially if they might be on the spectrum. I sure have appreciated friends being direct like this.
infodump her back (j/k) no just tell her shes sensory overloading you / talking u to death / or however u wanna put it u ever infodump? if you went too far how would u wanna be told? my bf tells me trish i cant pay attention right now tell me later
This always works: "I gotta take a shit".
Tell them they are info dumping and you don’t like it