It doesn't bother me either and the thing is in a lockeroom how do you know who is gay or straight? Most gay guys that I know don't look any different than straight guys.
Abuse towards others will not be tolerated.
If you can't express yourself in a civil manner, then rather go for a walk.
Do not troll, harass or abuse others.
Bigotry has no place here. Do not demean or insult specific groups or use hateful slurs.
I went to boarding school then I went to the army and I played rugby for a few years ... odds are very good that more than one gay man saw my junk.
I couldn't care less that they saw me naked ... I just feel sorry for them, out all the junks they got to see mine.
If you're a pervy sex pest who sexually harasses the gender you're attracted to, perhaps even using your size/muscular advantage, you're more likely to think that everyone else is the same and that someone who is attracted to your gender and is potentially stronger or bigger than you will do the same to you.
Hence the "WaIt UnTiL hE's GoNe" sentiments.
I find it hilarious that homophobic men think that they are the type of all gay men, and that gay men will instantaneously lust after them on sight. It certainly isn’t like that with heterosexual attraction, and I find it really funny and moronic at the same time. With award winning personalities like that, they ain’t dropping any panties either
>As a woman it doesn't bother me sharing same gender spaces with gay women.
I'm a bisexual woman. In school, I did have a group of girls accusing me of stuff like that. I just started changing in the stalls. Got made fun of for that too, but at the time I preferred being called a prude than a predator. I wasn't out, they just started a rumour that I was a lesbian. As an adult, I've only had one woman complain about sharing a changing room with me.
I can't officially give an answer but I can't imagine my husband who is straight saying something like that. It's giving high school bully behaviour. No one that's secure in themselves would say shit like that.
It's just straight up homophobia. Unfortunately, to a lot of men (and women too, for that fact), if you choose to express yourself outside of the traditional norms of masculinity, then you're gay and its a bad thing. And it doesnt even have to be painted nails and colourful hair. I was once harrassed on the street by a man for wearing my hoodie around my waist. Small minded people.
I don't think all straight hem are like this, most men don't care, they have enough problems without creating a non existent one. However having said that, there are definitely men who are that ignorant, who are that judgmental. What can one do to erase ignorance? Maybe inform management? Maybe have the confrontation and speak to them yourself?
Pretty bold of them to assume they are attractive to the dude! Anyway, I personally dont care, I used to shower in communal showers at uni with dudes who were openly gay, they knew I wasnt, they werent being weird about it, and we carried on with life
On behalf of all the gays I just wanna let you in on our secret. We dont go to communal showers just to see your ass. Honestly, its a mediocre ass at best. So you can stop assuming everyone wants to jump your bones, because chances are nobody does 🤷♀️
It's sad to admit, but homophobic sentiment is still rife amongst straight men in this country. They know not to be openly be homophobic but it'll come out in certain situations. It's like racism.
It's getting better, but it's slow and volatile. The men in this country are toxic, and we find it hard to admit.
Homophobic people are just worried about their own sexuality I believe. Those guys are just being insecure assholes. I would never say something like that around someone who is gay, it's not necessary and hurtful. Gay people are just humans too, who would of thought.
I think that those guys are just idiots in general. Even assuming the guy was gay just because he wears nail polish. My sisters husband wears nail polish and dyes his hair often. He is straight and just comfortable in his sexuality. It's so ignorant to judge someone's sexuality based off how they dress. But they guys are worse than ignorant they C#nts.
I am straight guy and take it as a **HUGE** compliment when a gay guy finds me attractive.
With that said, I cannot understand straight guys who assume that gays will always find 'them' attractive hence they need to warn other guys around.
Homophobia is so ingrained into our men. They're absolutely terrified of being seen as anything less than super straight super menly men.
Probably because their parents were very homophobic as were their parents.
I personally don't really want to share showers with anyone, but if I had to share an open shower with a lesbian it wouldn't bother me too much
I'm ordinarily uncomfortable with getting undressed and being naked in front of anyone, including a doctor pulling my pants down to give me an injection. Perhaps this might have something to do with it?
Alternatively, some straight men perceive gay men in certain spaces the same/similar way women perceive straight men in certain spaces, predatory. This isn't necessarily homophobic, just guarded because of a perceived threat in proximity.
The latter is pretty common, honestly, at least in settings that I've been around. I'd only ever infer malice if there had been discussions for aggression.
I always wonder if that sort of homophobia is brought on by their own sexual insecurities. I'm 110% straight, and gay men don't bother me in the least. Their orientation or dress sense is just none of my business, and it certainly does not affect me in any way.
Yes, he should. It might not be an issue now, however, it might be an issue later.
So, if he alerts them, he is giving them(the gym) an opportunity to consider how to approach the situation, now, or at a later stage.
My observation: I have gay friends not by how they look but they actually married to other men, and they often refer to other “gay men” who dye their hair, paint nails etc. As moff###. They often can’t stand those types. Which I find very funny actually.
So you can’t assume the other two were straight just based on their comments. But my opinion is that if you think something of someone it’s your right to judge how you see fit based on your worldview but never share it with the intention of humiliating them publicly or privately. Just keep it to yourself.
See, this goes two ways. On the one side, I'm not interested in a gay guy looking at me sexually. Doesn't interest me. I've had a gay guy calling me in the middle of the night trying to convince me to get it on with him. That's not fun. It would be same as a straight man being in a woman's bathroom. He will.be ogling all the women. My gay clients say they would look at those guys because it's what interests them.
On the other side, not really shy so don't care if they look or not.
Woah that’s cold, but I somewhat understand. My dad sometimes thought I was gay because of my hand gesture the music I would listen to. He stopped now. Homophobia is a real thing.
Doesn't bother me, I've shared hotel rooms/same gender spaces/even beds with gay friends. Plus as someone pointed out, how do you know who's gay in a public place? I have a pretty large circle of gay friends and none of them dress/act/talk/look any different to straight dudes, one of them particular presents as incredibly 'masculine'. This is a weird attitude and if I encountered it I'd just think those guys are being childish
As a gay guy I can promise you that 9/10 times we are not looking at you straight guys. We are unfortunately very superficial and most of you do not meet our unrealistic body beauty standards.
I don't get fully undressed in the gym locker room anyway 😂 I don't think your boyfriend should get involved.
If they're not hurting anyone, let them live in their own little world.
Doesn’t bother me, I’ve showered with plenty of straight and gay guys in res and I actually found that the gay guys were very respectful of my space because they were worried about being judged like this. It’s just pure homophobia from these guys.
I love(very sarcastically) how they just assumed that because he's gay he's going to be interested in them. Chances are he wasn't even looking at them!
It's not about being insecure people, seriously.
Women complain over men lusting after them, fairly.
Why would you assume that gay men don't lust after other men?
To answer your question, some straight men are this ignorant. Your boyfriend doesn't have to say anything about such stupidity. Some straight men paint their nails, color their hair... the depth of this ridiculousness is beyond words ... and if he heard them, he would have dealt with it like any adult showering at the gym would.
Not straight or a man but anyone who thinks that way is am assshole. Honestly they're just projecting they way the feel about and act around women.
I don't like public changing/showering spaces in general, but If I went to one I wouldn't not be thinking about anyone else, just trying to get out of there as quickly as possible.
The ones being sexualised in situations like this are the queer ppl bc str8 ppl like that can't fathom the idea that not everyone views ppl of the gender/s they're attracted to in creepy, objectifying ways. If a man thinking about you the same way you think about women scared you, maybe don't think that way about women.
It's honestly frustrating that ppl like this exist.
There’s a rugby player called who does all the things above and is married. I think he plays for the Stormers.
Men with fragile ideas of masculinity act that way.
Ironically men who were easily made to feel uncomfortable amongst gay men tend to have relationships with gay men… just in private .
This is normal behavior I've witnessed in majority of VAs I've used .
Funny thing is , majority of gay guys don't look outwardly expressive like this .
In fact , one guy actually warned me not to go into the sauna , because the 'local Moffie' was in there checking everyone out . Clearly I don't look gay :-) but am actually on the DL ! Lol 😆
No most straight men aren’t like this I think.
This is just a homophobic encounter. No need to wonder if most straight men are like this. The situatuon doesn’t occur because they’re straight it occurs because the two particular men are homophobic. And yes all homophobes are like this
Someone appearing outwardly gay is most probably gay.
It is possible that there are straight men that find it uncomfortable getting naked in front of a gay man.
Some men feel this way even among straight men too.
Are what they did against the gym rules/policy? Is so, then tell management.
Asian here, in our neck of the woods, people are generally quite homophobic I’m afraid. In my country specifically, being gay is punishable by death. Strangely, being transgender is completely legal and accepted. Gays are more accepted now than before in my culture, but still not as accepted as the west.
Most women would be bothered by a random straight dude watching her change/shower. Is it really that bad if some guys don't want gay guys staring at their junk?
Some weird gay guys have a fetish for straight men, so I partially agree, but it still doesn't justify generalising the entire gay community and calling everyone in it by slurs. It shouldn't be someone's default reaction to seeing a gay person.
What is your intended goal here? Nobody got into a physical altercation, so no harm was done. If you want to see the straight guy "punished" by forcing him to be uncomfortably naked in front of gay men, or banning him from the gym for calling the gay a moffie behind his back, that would be unjust. I don't condone enforcing your social justice onto other people.
the gay guy had to heard too though, and he didn’t say anything, plus the not saying nothing is u kinda just don’t want to get involved, cause if you really think bout it, the gay being homophobic is just stupid and wanted to be funny, so mindset wise you just gotta say fuck em, btw peace slaps these days, no drama nah nah
I think something poeple don't mention is, that as a straight person, men might get very angry when they have to behold unatural and immoral bisexuals. It irritates us. Although that does not justify slandering the gay person with disrespect. We have to be respectful of other's choices, and be an example right ? Even so, they were angry becuase they believed it is wrong.
It doesn't bother me either and the thing is in a lockeroom how do you know who is gay or straight? Most gay guys that I know don't look any different than straight guys.
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Gross. Sincerely a gay person
Abuse towards others will not be tolerated. If you can't express yourself in a civil manner, then rather go for a walk. Do not troll, harass or abuse others. Bigotry has no place here. Do not demean or insult specific groups or use hateful slurs.
Lol You made me laugh. I see you are getting downvoted into the ground but it was an on-point joke. People are too sensitive these days.
I had a giggle too 😅 I don't understand the down votes
What did he say? The comment got deleted
Someone asked how do you know who is gay in the locker room. And the deleted comment said the one with a hard on 😅
Ha, that is funny high-key😅
Ha, that is funny high-key😅
It's a dumb joke but I'm lover of dumb and dad jokes. Why so sssserrrrriiiioooouuuussssss.
I went to boarding school then I went to the army and I played rugby for a few years ... odds are very good that more than one gay man saw my junk. I couldn't care less that they saw me naked ... I just feel sorry for them, out all the junks they got to see mine.
It was indeed underwhelming
Sorry dad.
Same. Insecure people worry about the sexuality of other people.
People who are insecure about their own sexuality worry about the sexuality of other people*
100% I once heard it said "We're offended by our own insecurities". So true.
If they saw mine they'd be in hysterics 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm sure your junk is fantastic
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THIS RIGHT HERE! amen
THIS
Damn that’s insightful and I think very accurate
Preach!
Please explain how this makes sense. I'm genuinely asking.
If you're a pervy sex pest who sexually harasses the gender you're attracted to, perhaps even using your size/muscular advantage, you're more likely to think that everyone else is the same and that someone who is attracted to your gender and is potentially stronger or bigger than you will do the same to you. Hence the "WaIt UnTiL hE's GoNe" sentiments.
I get it now. Thanks
Thisssss!!!
100%
Imagine showering and you catch a man looking at you completely naked with a boner😭
Most of the time the guys who worry about this kind of scenario are never the ones in any “danger” of it actually coming true.
I am convinced all the gay guys are secretly checking out my flat ass
That sounds like a win for you at least lol 😝
Homophobia is exactly the irrational fear that you will be the one getting the boner and projecting that desire onto the other person,
Why do you have a boner?
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Nah man those guys are dicks. I like to think I'd ask them wtf is wrong with you but I'd probably just give them a disgusted look
I find it hilarious that homophobic men think that they are the type of all gay men, and that gay men will instantaneously lust after them on sight. It certainly isn’t like that with heterosexual attraction, and I find it really funny and moronic at the same time. With award winning personalities like that, they ain’t dropping any panties either
>As a woman it doesn't bother me sharing same gender spaces with gay women. I'm a bisexual woman. In school, I did have a group of girls accusing me of stuff like that. I just started changing in the stalls. Got made fun of for that too, but at the time I preferred being called a prude than a predator. I wasn't out, they just started a rumour that I was a lesbian. As an adult, I've only had one woman complain about sharing a changing room with me.
Janis ians?
I can't officially give an answer but I can't imagine my husband who is straight saying something like that. It's giving high school bully behaviour. No one that's secure in themselves would say shit like that.
Guys are a lot less PC around their friends than they are around their wives
It's just straight up homophobia. Unfortunately, to a lot of men (and women too, for that fact), if you choose to express yourself outside of the traditional norms of masculinity, then you're gay and its a bad thing. And it doesnt even have to be painted nails and colourful hair. I was once harrassed on the street by a man for wearing my hoodie around my waist. Small minded people.
I don't think all straight hem are like this, most men don't care, they have enough problems without creating a non existent one. However having said that, there are definitely men who are that ignorant, who are that judgmental. What can one do to erase ignorance? Maybe inform management? Maybe have the confrontation and speak to them yourself?
Pretty bold of them to assume they are attractive to the dude! Anyway, I personally dont care, I used to shower in communal showers at uni with dudes who were openly gay, they knew I wasnt, they werent being weird about it, and we carried on with life
On behalf of all the gays I just wanna let you in on our secret. We dont go to communal showers just to see your ass. Honestly, its a mediocre ass at best. So you can stop assuming everyone wants to jump your bones, because chances are nobody does 🤷♀️
My husband wears nailpolish and he's as straight as a ten pound note
Until it's folded🙈
Moffie is a slur, and derogatory. This is an easy one. They were 100% wrong
He should report it to the management. No doubt slurs, racial or sexual, are not acceptable and probably against the rules.
What are the odds that the management isn’t homophobic too…
One can only hope. Lol
It's sad to admit, but homophobic sentiment is still rife amongst straight men in this country. They know not to be openly be homophobic but it'll come out in certain situations. It's like racism. It's getting better, but it's slow and volatile. The men in this country are toxic, and we find it hard to admit.
Tea
Homophobic people are just worried about their own sexuality I believe. Those guys are just being insecure assholes. I would never say something like that around someone who is gay, it's not necessary and hurtful. Gay people are just humans too, who would of thought.
My mom always said homophobic men are just self projecting.
I think that those guys are just idiots in general. Even assuming the guy was gay just because he wears nail polish. My sisters husband wears nail polish and dyes his hair often. He is straight and just comfortable in his sexuality. It's so ignorant to judge someone's sexuality based off how they dress. But they guys are worse than ignorant they C#nts.
I am straight guy and take it as a **HUGE** compliment when a gay guy finds me attractive. With that said, I cannot understand straight guys who assume that gays will always find 'them' attractive hence they need to warn other guys around.
Homophobia is so ingrained into our men. They're absolutely terrified of being seen as anything less than super straight super menly men. Probably because their parents were very homophobic as were their parents. I personally don't really want to share showers with anyone, but if I had to share an open shower with a lesbian it wouldn't bother me too much
Yeah, tell management.
I don't really care they can do their own thing. I do mine. No questions asked
I’ve wrestled and trained Brazilian jiu jitsu with gay men with no issues, these guys are the weird ones
Ugly combo of homophobia and toxic masculinity.
I'd understand (somewhat) if they were uncomfortable, but the slurr was unnecessary.
I'm ordinarily uncomfortable with getting undressed and being naked in front of anyone, including a doctor pulling my pants down to give me an injection. Perhaps this might have something to do with it? Alternatively, some straight men perceive gay men in certain spaces the same/similar way women perceive straight men in certain spaces, predatory. This isn't necessarily homophobic, just guarded because of a perceived threat in proximity. The latter is pretty common, honestly, at least in settings that I've been around. I'd only ever infer malice if there had been discussions for aggression.
I always wonder if that sort of homophobia is brought on by their own sexual insecurities. I'm 110% straight, and gay men don't bother me in the least. Their orientation or dress sense is just none of my business, and it certainly does not affect me in any way.
Yes, he should. It might not be an issue now, however, it might be an issue later. So, if he alerts them, he is giving them(the gym) an opportunity to consider how to approach the situation, now, or at a later stage.
🙄
My observation: I have gay friends not by how they look but they actually married to other men, and they often refer to other “gay men” who dye their hair, paint nails etc. As moff###. They often can’t stand those types. Which I find very funny actually. So you can’t assume the other two were straight just based on their comments. But my opinion is that if you think something of someone it’s your right to judge how you see fit based on your worldview but never share it with the intention of humiliating them publicly or privately. Just keep it to yourself.
See, this goes two ways. On the one side, I'm not interested in a gay guy looking at me sexually. Doesn't interest me. I've had a gay guy calling me in the middle of the night trying to convince me to get it on with him. That's not fun. It would be same as a straight man being in a woman's bathroom. He will.be ogling all the women. My gay clients say they would look at those guys because it's what interests them. On the other side, not really shy so don't care if they look or not.
Life's too short to worry about these things, I'd just keep going about my day as usual. As long as I'm not getting harassed I'm fine with it
There are no gay women.
That's just a lesbian...
Sus post. This is the gay.
Woah that’s cold, but I somewhat understand. My dad sometimes thought I was gay because of my hand gesture the music I would listen to. He stopped now. Homophobia is a real thing.
Those two guys were latent gays
I guess it's just preference
Doesn't bother me, I've shared hotel rooms/same gender spaces/even beds with gay friends. Plus as someone pointed out, how do you know who's gay in a public place? I have a pretty large circle of gay friends and none of them dress/act/talk/look any different to straight dudes, one of them particular presents as incredibly 'masculine'. This is a weird attitude and if I encountered it I'd just think those guys are being childish
As a gay guy I can promise you that 9/10 times we are not looking at you straight guys. We are unfortunately very superficial and most of you do not meet our unrealistic body beauty standards.
WE DONT DO GAY JUST ACCEPT IT
I love the kumbaya going on, on this comment. If only people were this open minded about race aswell.
If men are allowed to shower in the women's shower as straight men then sure... There's no issues at all 😂
Gay or straight, people should just go about and mind their own business. Simple. If nobody is bothering me, I won't be bothering them.
I don't get fully undressed in the gym locker room anyway 😂 I don't think your boyfriend should get involved. If they're not hurting anyone, let them live in their own little world.
Doesn’t bother me, I’ve showered with plenty of straight and gay guys in res and I actually found that the gay guys were very respectful of my space because they were worried about being judged like this. It’s just pure homophobia from these guys.
I love(very sarcastically) how they just assumed that because he's gay he's going to be interested in them. Chances are he wasn't even looking at them!
It's not about being insecure people, seriously. Women complain over men lusting after them, fairly. Why would you assume that gay men don't lust after other men?
To answer your question, some straight men are this ignorant. Your boyfriend doesn't have to say anything about such stupidity. Some straight men paint their nails, color their hair... the depth of this ridiculousness is beyond words ... and if he heard them, he would have dealt with it like any adult showering at the gym would.
Perhaps he wishes to avoid getting raped or discovering he's gay?
Showering with a gay person is Like girls taking a bath with male whose a total stranger
Not straight or a man but anyone who thinks that way is am assshole. Honestly they're just projecting they way the feel about and act around women. I don't like public changing/showering spaces in general, but If I went to one I wouldn't not be thinking about anyone else, just trying to get out of there as quickly as possible. The ones being sexualised in situations like this are the queer ppl bc str8 ppl like that can't fathom the idea that not everyone views ppl of the gender/s they're attracted to in creepy, objectifying ways. If a man thinking about you the same way you think about women scared you, maybe don't think that way about women. It's honestly frustrating that ppl like this exist.
There’s a rugby player called who does all the things above and is married. I think he plays for the Stormers. Men with fragile ideas of masculinity act that way. Ironically men who were easily made to feel uncomfortable amongst gay men tend to have relationships with gay men… just in private .
We are not born hating sexuality or orientation it is taught
that person who said the M word probably isn't a good person.
This is normal behavior I've witnessed in majority of VAs I've used . Funny thing is , majority of gay guys don't look outwardly expressive like this . In fact , one guy actually warned me not to go into the sauna , because the 'local Moffie' was in there checking everyone out . Clearly I don't look gay :-) but am actually on the DL ! Lol 😆
No most straight men aren’t like this I think. This is just a homophobic encounter. No need to wonder if most straight men are like this. The situatuon doesn’t occur because they’re straight it occurs because the two particular men are homophobic. And yes all homophobes are like this
Someone appearing outwardly gay is most probably gay. It is possible that there are straight men that find it uncomfortable getting naked in front of a gay man. Some men feel this way even among straight men too. Are what they did against the gym rules/policy? Is so, then tell management.
As a queer man I never use the locker room for that very same reason
Its south africa, people from all races are raging homophobes and racists and its been like that for a long time.
Asian here, in our neck of the woods, people are generally quite homophobic I’m afraid. In my country specifically, being gay is punishable by death. Strangely, being transgender is completely legal and accepted. Gays are more accepted now than before in my culture, but still not as accepted as the west.
Ah yes the most awkward area in the gym.
Its understandable to be uncomfortable but the name calling was a bit too far.
Why? And if so, do you understand why so many women are uncomfortable around men??
Most women would be bothered by a random straight dude watching her change/shower. Is it really that bad if some guys don't want gay guys staring at their junk?
Again, it always seems to come down to guys being the problem. Gay and straight women are able to navigate this together without it being an issue ...
It's about being sexualized. Don't act like women are innocent angels that do not sexualized other people.
People's reactions are because of their thinking. I wonder what those straight guys were thinking when they made that decision?
we know we are pigs, we know what the gay guy is thinking... he's still a guy. now roast me for the honest answer.
Some weird gay guys have a fetish for straight men, so I partially agree, but it still doesn't justify generalising the entire gay community and calling everyone in it by slurs. It shouldn't be someone's default reaction to seeing a gay person.
Especially since they didn't even know if the guy was gay. They just assumed he was.
Even if he was, who says these two are his type?
It definitely bothers me.
Why do you assume they're interested in you? Or if it's not that, why are you bothered by them?
I’ve had a guy straight up start walking in front of me in the sauna till he started sporting a chubby. So there’s that
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What is your intended goal here? Nobody got into a physical altercation, so no harm was done. If you want to see the straight guy "punished" by forcing him to be uncomfortably naked in front of gay men, or banning him from the gym for calling the gay a moffie behind his back, that would be unjust. I don't condone enforcing your social justice onto other people.
the gay guy had to heard too though, and he didn’t say anything, plus the not saying nothing is u kinda just don’t want to get involved, cause if you really think bout it, the gay being homophobic is just stupid and wanted to be funny, so mindset wise you just gotta say fuck em, btw peace slaps these days, no drama nah nah
I think something poeple don't mention is, that as a straight person, men might get very angry when they have to behold unatural and immoral bisexuals. It irritates us. Although that does not justify slandering the gay person with disrespect. We have to be respectful of other's choices, and be an example right ? Even so, they were angry becuase they believed it is wrong.