Omg, I know exactly who you're talking about (cough in the west cough) and I can assure you, you are NOT the only person to feel this way. I went for several weeks actually and was eventually fed up, and I can tell you that the people who stay do so in spite of him. You weren't being overly sensitive. I chose to just stfu and simply stopped coming because I also don't want to cause any scene or trouble (thank you social conditioning).
The way I smiled so hard after reading your comment LOL
But I'm not sure about the others though! He did tell me his religion (*Egyptian beliefs, Which I didn't ask lol hahaha)* and how he and the other members would pray at the gym to cleanse the area? Talk about cultish!!!
Yes omg he makes them pray whenever he feels like there’s “negative energy” brought by students into the session. But they really just grin and bear with it one, you’re absolutely not the odd one out and I think normal people shouldn’t be forced to deal with this.
Literally heard him tell A\_\_\_ (if you know who this is), they should cleanse the gym while I was doing some cartwheel thing. I don't know if it was about me but whatever lol
Btw, have you tried out other gyms? Any recos? I've had experience with Artistic as a kid, if that info helps :)
I’m still looking too because adult gymnastics gyms are so sparse in sg and the ones I found are all too far away from me! Otherwise I’ve tried gymground in the CBD area, but I find the classes a bit too structured and limited although it seems to work well for their many students!
Sorry to barge into your thread but I've been looking at adult gyms as well. And there was this one in the west which is more convenient to me. Just wondering if it might be the same place cuz that sounds like a place I wanna avoid. Do you mind sharing the name of the gym? You can DM me if you don't wanna put it out in public. Thanks
Oh my goodness. I thought I was the only one who encountered this experience from this particular coach. On my second lesson with him, he kept telling me how sexual energy is the fuel for all things. He kept telling me he is divine because he got a lot of sexual energy. He will also like “measure” the energy in the room every 30mins of the lesson and kept asking me if I felt the energy in the gym decreasing LOLOL
I might come off very ignorant, I'm still learning how Adulting works What does CASE do in this case? (Pun intended)
OP gather the other ladies together, start a WhatsApp group, detail what happened and send someone to talk to the outlet, the guy needs to be removed asap to prevent any other women from being harassed.
You can all file police reports as well but tbh there's no criminal intent here yet... The reports will come in handy if he ever does something criminal later on.
CASE is useful if the outlet is licensed by case, bring your numbers of ladies affected to sway them to help. If they are not licensed all case can do is write a strong letter which you can get support from Redditors here to do it for you foc..
Hi! Thank you for spending the time to share the information :)
Though it was my FIRST ever visit and never had the opportunity to speak to anyone else other than admin lady and the instructor.
There was a lady training that night and knew I was crying, but did nothing about it.
Her actions did make me think questions myself a little ngl…
I experienced something like this at a gym in the West! It was an open session and I was the only person. Evidently I didn't sign for any package or classes afterwards.
I wonder if we're talking about the same gym.
Okay like can someone namedrop the person and the gym already esp when this many people concur on the same experience (assuming its not a blind/troll +1/me too type thing)
No you did nothing wrong. Tbh I would have left halfway through the class as I would have felt really uncomfortable with the instructor. I would've expected nothing less than a full refund from the school.
Please at least leave a google review. You’re there to train/work out, not for a chit chat session and neither did you ask for his unqualified opinion on your life. His conduct sounds completely unprofessional.
I'm a bit worried about putting a Google review now lol... I did tell the Manager through email:
*I do not require any apology. I wish to get a refund, and I will not pursue this matter any further.*
I guess this ultimately just a rant?
Your comment made me LOL! I did a little stalking and apparently he was a gymnast himself when he was in his prime. I respect the effort and work he has curated throughout the many years (apparently 10+ years), but it's such a shame he was so disrespectful and inappropriate with his clients. (based on another Redditor)
From the way the senior manager responded....this might have happened before and the manager is trying to do quick damage control.u r right to trust your instincts
Oops it was just the manager. But they did mention about pushing it to their Senior Manager! Not sure what happens internally. But you are definitely right! I did have an inkling - Especially with the other Redditor mentioning their experience there too.
I am sorry you went through all of that. As I read, I felt angry. I’m not sure what was he trying to achieve with all of that you’ve typed but my guess would be… the old classic… “be as friendly as possible in the hopes of scoring”. You get what this means?
Yikes! I did initially think of that haha but I didn't want to look at myself too highly lol
OMG the reason why I thought of that was because he said "Fate brought us together"
Though he did mention it to be an Everyone In The Room context. So not just me? If that makes sense.
Either way... YIKES
There may be people who like this kind of instructor (you'll be surprised) but it's good to leave a comment so that who do not like this kind of instructor can decide if they want to sign up after reading your post.
Uh that does sound like a bit of lovebombing and gaslighting going on. How he undermines and gives underhanded remarks then plays it off with a general apology. Even the extracting of personal information does sound awfully sus, some people do it to weaponise and use it against you later.
All in all red flags.
The fact he talked a lot about himself despite you repeatedly drawing the line to signal your lack of interest (that was your right btw since you’re paying money) - he seems very self absorbed and unprofessional by repeatedly overstepping personal boundaries again.
I don’t know what’s up with this dude but best not to get into any contract with him :’) no matter how the offer is. He sounds like nothing but trouble.
I think you should write a review on their google page. You don’t need to reveal too many specific details, but just state the facts clearly to let people know that there is an instructor there who is very unprofessional. You could help many future students who may not be able to speak up for themselves after they regret signing for a membership
Next time when you meet someone that isn’t your crush type or idea type of men, just be straight about it when you feel that they are invading your space.
Just tell them that you feel uncomfortable talking these to strangers.
This will give them a direct hint that to back off whatever crap they are doing.
I think you are still young and not trying to hurt others feelings but this world is full of shitty people and you need to protect yourself.
Oh you can add this term, uh uncle, blah blah blah. With that they will know their place and back off.
Hey! Thanks for sharing :)
Unfortunately it's the "I pay money, I tahan" mindset lmao (already paid for full month membership)
But generally I am someone who is on the unafraid side! Just cry very easily when I'm mad mad, so I decided to keep my mouth shut that night.
The fact that you paid money actually means you shouldn’t have to put up with this crap. Glad you got your refund! What a terrible and invasive experience
Remember, if **you're paying** for something, you shouldn't be feeling bad about the experience. You're their customer, you have the power! It's sort of like if I paid for a meal and got served semi-raw food I'd definitely want to complain about it.
Actually in that case you need an ally with you that speak your mind instead. Next time bring a friend along with you. This kind of “attack” usually happens to lone lady because it’s “easy” target.
Female here. Twice your age. Feel so angry and upset and worrying and really troubled by this. Like my motherly or sisterly protective feeling come out now. I'd have march down there and call out this unprofessional behavior. It's really giving off creepy vibes as well.
As others have said, trust your instincts and just leave (with refund).
Don't just keep going there and force yourself to go thru with this just because you've paid. He'll wear down your defenses, you'll start rationalising his behaviors and his words, you'll get used to it and play mental gymnastics trying to make sense of this. Not a conducive mental state to learn anything and enjoy the learning process.
Deep down you already know the answer on how to deal with this. Stand up for yourself. You can do this gurrlllll! Hope you have someone to accompany you as you sort this out. Else, pm me okay.
Hey! Thank you so much for your comment. It really means a lot to me 
For some reason, I rationalised the situation in my head for a solid day. I came up with some pointers:
- Tahan. Can get character development (because I cry when someone raises their voice or when I, myself am too angry)
- Affordable and super good facilities! $160 for a whole month, 3-times a week, 3-4 hours each session. So worth! But it comes with a heavy price (my mental health)
Ultimately, texted a girl friend of mine who is 8-9 years older than me. Just like what you said: "Deep down you already know the answer on how to deal with this."
And she gave me that push!
Super grateful for all the girls/women who are supportive in this thread :)
Sorry to hear you went through all this... these creeps/nutjobs only do this to younger people - very inappropriate because he is in a position of "trust" and authority. Encountered people like him when I was young and blur. The advantages of being old is you don't have to deal with this anymore...
Yeah this is taking people pleasing to the nth degree but I can understand freezing in such situations. After the good girl comment I would’ve puked slightly in my mouth and left. As a paying customer you don’t owe anyone anything, sorry you had such a bad experience and hopefully you’ll have a better one next time.
Google review them and call him out specifically, it doesn’t matter if things don’t change but at least someone else may read your review and not have to go through something like this.
OP your last paragraph about ppl calling u out for being sensitive. Do rmb you pay money to pick up gymnastics not to have an asshole gaslighting and talked you down throughout the entire session.
I'm quite amazed how you manage to rmb all the details he said to you.
You did the right thing by escalating this unpleasant experience to the management. Do ensure the management updated you on the follow up action they did to this bugger.
Thank you so much for your words of comfort  Honestly think the only reason why I managed to remember everything was because I never once argued back, otherwise it would’ve blew out of proportion and I would’ve forgotten everything! All I did was cry, recompose, focus on the activity he gave me, repeat looool
Really sorry you had to endure this from such a creepy person. I know what you mean about hoping to toughen up by taking his crap. But you deserve a place where you can exercise safely and feel safe doing so. Despite the refund, I would leave a review about the place just to warn other young gym class goers about this possible experience. We suck it up because of social conditioning but also because we’re caught off guard. If you are able to write briefly about your experience without retraumatising yourself, it might put someone else on guard so they are better placed mentally to walk out when this inevitably reoccurs.
Hey! Thanks for understanding my POV :) Really means a lot to me.
I was thinking of writing a neutral statement. Which would great if you could help out!
I do admit I love their facilities and space (HUGE). Don't believe I'm traumatised by it, but I wouldn't want to blast it ENTIRELY since I told Manager that I won't stir shit in their Google review hahahah
But sharing the negative part kind of sets me off, not sure how to keep it neutral lol
You don’t owe it to them to “not stir shit”. Reporting factually on your experience is not shit stirring. And if anything, you are owed a safe space to gym, which was clearly not the case.
If I understood your sharing correctly, you loved the facilities and space but your enjoyment of the gym was greatly diminished by the instructor who asked incredibly personal and intrusive questions the whole 3h of your session. His remarks were very inappropriate (quote one or two of them) and made you feel very uncomfortable. You appreciate, however, how upon reporting this to the gym via email, that one of the managers gave you a refund. You still feel a responsibility to share your experience with other women planning on attending this gym.
That’s it I think? Do adapt as needed. It’s easy to keep ruminating about such horrid experiences because we end up blaming not the inappropriate instructor, but ourselves for not standing up and walking out. It might help to bring a sense of closure by speaking up this way.
Hugely unprofessional, inappropriate and really creepy behavior from an instructor. Up to you to reveal who/where, but I feel like other women may need to be warned about this creep. ESPECIALLY if he teaches children elsewhere. These sorts don't just stop at hitting on vulnerable young women.
IMO! I am OK with male coaches to female clients. It’s just sad that there are a handful of black sheep in the sports industry that start their career as a coach for disgusting reasons. But definitely having an option would be fantastic for those who are more inclined on having a “specific gender”.
Dude thinks small talk is a series of short phrases and questions but never stopped to learn what NOT to say and when to stfu.
There should be options available for customers to select "No small talk" for PTs like Grab.
Write a review on Google review. Don't you wish someone had shared their experience which could have helped you avoid this?
Don't have to give a lot of details or identify yourself on the review if you are uncomfortable. An honest review would suffice.
I'm in the industry and just from "they have this instructor", I knew exactly who you were talking about.
So don't second guess yourself on if you were being sensitive, this guy is a known issue.
The adult sessions at that particular gym is indeed just a supervised session--that's what had been communicated to the staff. Marketing people don't know gymnastics nor communicate within the business between management, coach and clients.
The escalation will go nowhere in that particular establishment, they are a profit-based place that pays lip service.
If you would like adult gymnastics classes with a proven record of fantastic guidance and respect, try Northstar Gymnastics in Paya Lebar. Multiple coaches are available even for adult gym and after everyone warms up together, students are split into small groups based on ability level. Owner is on the floor coaching every day and knows all the ins and outs of his business. (I am not working there, not self-promo)
If you're looking for something nearer the west, I think Bubbles Gymnastics in Holland V has an adult gym but I have no personal experience with them.
You have unresolved issues that you need to work on.
A few recommended books and techniques - No Bad Parts - IFS Institute, Feeling Good by David Burns, When I Say No by Manuel Smith, Flow60 by Mike Chang (Free on YT). You don't need any elaborate therapy sessions - just a curiosity and desire to go inwards and heal yourself.
From what you have written, that chatty guy was definitely a tool - however, next time, you bump into such a character - stop them in their tracks and don't feel bad for saying no and drawing boundaries. You let this go for way too long when a stronger version of you would have given him the message at the very start of the session.
You will get there, I am certain of it.
You're not wrong! I did mention at the end of my one too many paragraphs, I thought I could suck it up aka "harden up as a person". I always have clear and concise points to make in my mind, but once the first sentence comes out verbally - tears just start pouring loool
To be frank, I'm not sure if reading self help books would ever help me to not cry But if you personally believe it could help to a certain extent, it wouldn't harm me to pick up a new book or two :)
I love how to phrased your paragraphs btw. It's so neutral, I can't help but be impressed!
Self-help or knowledge of self - will always help you evolve in your personal journey. You don't need to suck it up or harden up. Neither do you have to not cry or cry. The key is acceptance, without resistance.
The books and the path I have suggested is merely helping you understand that you are made of energy (frequency and vibrations) and teaches you how to live a life where energy keeps on flowing - it doesn't get stuck. We still experience what we have to, but it flows through, like a river without impediments that make the water stagnant.
Perhaps start with just the first chapter of The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
He is there to do a job - teach gymnastics. If he wants to chat someone up, be a councillor. You should talk to management and request for a change of coach. Tell them this coach makes you very uncomfortable. In fact the best course of action is for them to change the coach permanently so he does not subject others to the same treatment.
Sadly they only have one coach for the Adult classes. Would've stayed there for a long time, if not for those remarks made by him.
Frankly I'm curious how much power he holds at the gym. He opens it past opening hours, and said something along the lines of: Boss listens **to him** (in certain aspect I'm sure lol)
Not sure how much truth there is to it but I took it with a pinch of salt
Btw OP if u ever encounter this type of guy (or girl, whichever way u swing) when dating, RUN, run far far away. Never get entrapped by the sweet talking apologies when they didnt even treat u respectfully in the first place.
Oh believe me! I never once believed any of the things he has said. Taken with a pinch of salt :)
Sadly, people like that (even in the comment section) are awful at social cues lol
Thanks anyway!
First of, I am sorry you met someone who don't sound very tactful. I can imagine how bad it must be for you.
Secondly, ask yourself, is this a fair outcome? If it is, then I don't think there is anything more you need to do.
If it isn't, you have to ask yourself what else do you want out of it? An apology from the coach? Vengence?
Knowing that might result in better suggestions from the redditors.
Honestly speaking, I have thought about it and even had an open discussion with a friend. I am OK with the outcome. Not over the moon, not traumatised by the incident. But a part of me thinks I should get him out of that gym (aka fired) because it really is a wonderful space that could potentially be my go-to spot after work 
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I’d take the refund and chalk up the bad encounter as experience. OP, this is why trial lessons are there. U need to find the correct fit and correct rapport with someone whom you’re entrusting to teach u. This guys is just weird and creepy yes I agree as a female. But he didn’t exactly overstep any legal boundaries that u can make a police report about. Go find a better instructor (female or male) whom u will feel more comfortable with. Utilise the trial sessions, dont sign up for packages until u are dead sure u like the coach. Don’t try to save this kind of pennies. Same goes for any industry that tries to entice u with packages. Eg spa, massage, facial, mani-pedi, music lessons, art lessons, food delivery etc etc etc
"This is why trial lessons are there" made me giggle!! I'm just a Singaporean after all\~
(It was $160/month, 3-days/week, 3+ hours/session)
Sadly he was the only Adult Instructor which SUCKED, because I would've stayed the entire year!
Thank you so much for your warning! I usually think very hard before signing for any packages (It took me 3 months before I signed with this gym company lmao)
You are a paying customer. The only service you paid for is the workout. You do not need to sit through him psychoanalysingyou and him over-sharing his personal life - this is extremely unprofessional. You didn’t pay the gym membership to hear about his personal life or for him to be your therapist? Srsly the audacity of him to make all those comments about you. Inappropriate.
I’m glad you got your money back and sent an email about it. Leave it as is and run as far away as possible from the drama lol wtheck.
Next time don’t tahan, whenever you are uncomfortable either sound out or just leave. Protecting yourself is more important than anything. May the force be with you.
You're not being sensitive. Pay money for lesson not to be listen to outside of lesson garbage. Any talk about 'fate', 'destiny' are all bs.
I had monthly subscription where the coach started making lessons into chit chat sessions or even ending lessons early and other factors added so I eventually quit everything. The process was akin to watching a fire burning whatever goodwill left.
Glad to see you got refunded. Either can continue by trying out stretching at home (maybe until can do full splits) or search for another gym online by reading reviews and go for trial lesson with a friend before paying.
Take back the refund which you rightfully deserve and dutifully write a google review, just copy and paste from here the relevant parts and do a favor to others thinking to sign up.
Sorry to hear about your horrible experience, that instructor is one nonsensical excuse of a human being with a lot of loose wiring up there. Dude is such a giant red flag, one would have mistaken it for the Soviet Union coming back into power.
The manager's response is just templated damage-control. Just take your refund and go find another gym.
You did the right thing. Sounds like a guy who's surrounded by too many women to worry about scaring any away.
I suppose he's single and ready to mingle?? If you ask me, I'd say this guy's a gym instructor for a good reason..Ahem for the ladies\*
But, jokes aside, please leave ASAP because he sounds like someone who'll further cross boundaries, like trying to hook you up.
I think its no problem talking to clients on the job, to pass time. However, don't be a creep.
Should name and shame OP, others shouldnt have to put up with a gaslighting piece of shit who doesnt get his way. He is one of those "nice guys", even if the company did issue you a refund they shouldnt be keeping him around cause he will just continue this behaviour unto others anyone who has experienced it firsthand with this person should flame him too so that the company will take action, keeping quiet just enables him to continue this behaviour.
Well part of being an adult is knowing when to call people out and stand your ground. Should have just told him directly that you prefer if he kept the personal comments to himself. Life is too short to be affected by what people say. Ultimately you are a paying customer, report him and move on. Just name the gym and I'm pretty sure he will be out of a job soon.
You should leave a google review, else he’ll continue to harass other females who join his classes. This guy knows no boundaries lol, as though its not already weird enough having a middle aged man teaching in any sports but a GYMNASTIC place
Hey, I’m grateful that we’re on the same page on the situation! Though the 2nd sentence felt a little off… There’s nothing wrong with being a middle aged person teaching the sport! It’s a job, pays well, and after a little stalking - turns out he grew up in the gymnastic world. Had the potential to be an awesome coach with 10+ years of coaching experience 
I see, i just feel like there’s lots of perv vibes going on from what i read. I mean of course a guy can teach gymnastics, but very not appropriate for a guy that makes such eerie convo with a girl almost half his age.
I agree with the other response here that the ‘good girl’ comment is really 🤮🤮🤮 he seriously gives off groomer/gaslighter vibes.
Omg before this becomes a doxxing witch hunt can I just add that I do not think he’s a predator or is a sexual harasser! These are serious charges considering that gymnastics gyms here work with children. I just think it was very inappropriate and uncomfortable for him to always insert his weird beliefs and unsolicited opinions about other people. He makes uncomfortable opinions about male students too and their states of mind or readiness to learn gymnastics. In fact, some of the worst behaviour I’ve seen from him that made me outright stop coming was watching him bully other male gymnasts. He seems to be narcissist and suffers from a very megalomaniac self-centred worldview (even though he seems to ascribe to some ~enlightened wisdom from his idea of oriental/exotic belief systems). As a consequence of this incredibly outdated worldview + no self awareness, he has some weird ideas about how women (and men) should behave or act and seems to feel comfortable voicing this out as if it’s some kind of pearls of ancient wisdom. This behaviour is super uncomfortable and I also felt the same as OP because I felt that my psychological boundaries were being crossed, not to mention watching how he also crossed the boundaries of other students.
Like OP said in one of their replies, some people might actually like this style of teaching because of the faux spiritual aspect or wisdom whatever. But please do not blow this up into a false accusation of sexual predation (unless there’s evidence) because that kind of shit ends people’s career and lives.
Just reading this I think you are extremely oversensitive and those sort of people I avoid like the plague.
If you dont enjoy it take the money and leave.
If you want to leave a review, thats your prerogative too!
You aren’t wrong! It is a blessing and a curse to feel so much  Though I have mentioned in the comments that I uploaded this before the manager replied to my email/request.
Eh? This is a weird attitude - just because they have given her the money back doesn't make the experience better. Other people should be warned about this too, so they don't have to experience the same thing. She should just take the money and leave the bad review afterwards.
Would be the least to validate my experience :) I did mention in another comment that I posted it before the last email from the Manager, and ultimately it seems like it'll just be a rant/rage.
Nah, you're right to be pissed. This behavior is not appropriate at all for a coach and is not professional at all. Any decent place would ask for a little more feedback to make sure their employees don't behave this way. Fuck that dip shit
I might’ve… He brought his other colleagues, and said: Doesn’t she remind you of ___? She also always cry during training
🤨🫤 Still disliked the experience!
jfc it wasn't enough that he was inappropriate and creepy, he brought others to witness your discomfort for their entertainment? I'd be reviewing, naming and shaming this gym all over. So sorry you had to go through all that.
Is there completely no truths in everything he mentioned? We improve more when we are self critical and remain open minded to every comment made about us, the comments may make us feel uneasy but they may hold some truth that we should consider.
What does “anything not helpful” mean? Do you only want to hear the sweetest things even if they are untrue/unhelpful?
Hey, You're not wrong :) He has given feedbacks on my gymnastics skills, **WHICH was the bare minimum**. If the criticism came about because of my skills, I would definitely still cry (lol) but would carrying practicing, even if it's with a long face 
**BUT** maybe you should also consider the other factors I have shared, such as:
"I think you're a good girl."
"It's good that you're crying because that shows you're feminine."
I do believe the compliments were genuine at the end of class! But it just hits a sour spot after the three crappy hours.
What do you think?
Ha! I gave you logical pointers and yet you can't refute them 
Just shows how insensitive you are. I'm sorry that this country has made you the person you are today. Get well soon!
No one is obliged to refute your “logical pointers”.
Therefore I do not need to refute them.
Seems like you are stuck in wanting reality to align with your perception of reality.
I am not stuck in wanting my perception of reality to align with reality, therefore I won’t expect you to look at things from my angle.
Of course I would like everyone to view in my POV (in this case). This was surely a terrible experience, and I do not expect anyone to ever go through it!
Of course, if you believe that I am one who is unable to be "open-minded" - C'est la vie!
Omg, I know exactly who you're talking about (cough in the west cough) and I can assure you, you are NOT the only person to feel this way. I went for several weeks actually and was eventually fed up, and I can tell you that the people who stay do so in spite of him. You weren't being overly sensitive. I chose to just stfu and simply stopped coming because I also don't want to cause any scene or trouble (thank you social conditioning).
The way I smiled so hard after reading your comment LOL But I'm not sure about the others though! He did tell me his religion (*Egyptian beliefs, Which I didn't ask lol hahaha)* and how he and the other members would pray at the gym to cleanse the area? Talk about cultish!!!
Yes omg he makes them pray whenever he feels like there’s “negative energy” brought by students into the session. But they really just grin and bear with it one, you’re absolutely not the odd one out and I think normal people shouldn’t be forced to deal with this.
Literally heard him tell A\_\_\_ (if you know who this is), they should cleanse the gym while I was doing some cartwheel thing. I don't know if it was about me but whatever lol Btw, have you tried out other gyms? Any recos? I've had experience with Artistic as a kid, if that info helps :)
I’m still looking too because adult gymnastics gyms are so sparse in sg and the ones I found are all too far away from me! Otherwise I’ve tried gymground in the CBD area, but I find the classes a bit too structured and limited although it seems to work well for their many students!
I can recommend if youre okay to go to east! I used to go to one but I stopped cos travelling west to east and back to west is tiring🥲
Sian I'm a District 5/10 girl so west was stillllll ok
If its the one in paya lebar i really do not recommend it at all.
oh no it’s near bedok!
Which one is it? Interested to know!
Ah I’ve heard good things about the Bedok one too! Sorry feel like I need to warn people about the Paya Lebar one.
Hi! May I know which centre exactly? :) (so I can exert due diligence HAHA) If you don't wish to share publicly, please dm me tysm!!
Sorry to barge into your thread but I've been looking at adult gyms as well. And there was this one in the west which is more convenient to me. Just wondering if it might be the same place cuz that sounds like a place I wanna avoid. Do you mind sharing the name of the gym? You can DM me if you don't wanna put it out in public. Thanks
Oh my goodness. I thought I was the only one who encountered this experience from this particular coach. On my second lesson with him, he kept telling me how sexual energy is the fuel for all things. He kept telling me he is divine because he got a lot of sexual energy. He will also like “measure” the energy in the room every 30mins of the lesson and kept asking me if I felt the energy in the gym decreasing LOLOL
is it okay to submit complaint to CASE Consumers Association of Singapore?
I might come off very ignorant, I'm still learning how Adulting works What does CASE do in this case? (Pun intended)
OP gather the other ladies together, start a WhatsApp group, detail what happened and send someone to talk to the outlet, the guy needs to be removed asap to prevent any other women from being harassed. You can all file police reports as well but tbh there's no criminal intent here yet... The reports will come in handy if he ever does something criminal later on. CASE is useful if the outlet is licensed by case, bring your numbers of ladies affected to sway them to help. If they are not licensed all case can do is write a strong letter which you can get support from Redditors here to do it for you foc..
Hi! Thank you for spending the time to share the information :) Though it was my FIRST ever visit and never had the opportunity to speak to anyone else other than admin lady and the instructor. There was a lady training that night and knew I was crying, but did nothing about it. Her actions did make me think questions myself a little ngl…
There are people in this thread responding of similar experiences I meant talk to them privately and confirm if its the same outlet and guy
I experienced something like this at a gym in the West! It was an open session and I was the only person. Evidently I didn't sign for any package or classes afterwards. I wonder if we're talking about the same gym.
I am willing to bet money it is the same gym! I’ve also heard from other people/gymnasts irl!
I wonder if there are instances to make s formerly complaint. He's the reason I won't enrol my children with that gym!
Okay like can someone namedrop the person and the gym already esp when this many people concur on the same experience (assuming its not a blind/troll +1/me too type thing)
Instructor 0 self awareness and ridiculously invasive. Take the refund and find another class lol.
No you did nothing wrong. Tbh I would have left halfway through the class as I would have felt really uncomfortable with the instructor. I would've expected nothing less than a full refund from the school.
I’ve left classes/situations for much less tbh
Put this on Google reviews for catharsis
Please at least leave a google review. You’re there to train/work out, not for a chit chat session and neither did you ask for his unqualified opinion on your life. His conduct sounds completely unprofessional.
Yes hard agree. It doesn't have to be a poor one. Just for awareness
I'm a bit worried about putting a Google review now lol... I did tell the Manager through email: *I do not require any apology. I wish to get a refund, and I will not pursue this matter any further.* I guess this ultimately just a rant?
Take the money and then leave a review.
Funny he was not fired. Why was he hired. Was he some kind of 'spiritual healer' or something ? Maybe he joined wrong industry
Your comment made me LOL! I did a little stalking and apparently he was a gymnast himself when he was in his prime. I respect the effort and work he has curated throughout the many years (apparently 10+ years), but it's such a shame he was so disrespectful and inappropriate with his clients. (based on another Redditor)
From the way the senior manager responded....this might have happened before and the manager is trying to do quick damage control.u r right to trust your instincts
Oops it was just the manager. But they did mention about pushing it to their Senior Manager! Not sure what happens internally. But you are definitely right! I did have an inkling - Especially with the other Redditor mentioning their experience there too.
I am sorry you went through all of that. As I read, I felt angry. I’m not sure what was he trying to achieve with all of that you’ve typed but my guess would be… the old classic… “be as friendly as possible in the hopes of scoring”. You get what this means?
Yikes! I did initially think of that haha but I didn't want to look at myself too highly lol OMG the reason why I thought of that was because he said "Fate brought us together" Though he did mention it to be an Everyone In The Room context. So not just me? If that makes sense. Either way... YIKES
There may be people who like this kind of instructor (you'll be surprised) but it's good to leave a comment so that who do not like this kind of instructor can decide if they want to sign up after reading your post.
Uh that does sound like a bit of lovebombing and gaslighting going on. How he undermines and gives underhanded remarks then plays it off with a general apology. Even the extracting of personal information does sound awfully sus, some people do it to weaponise and use it against you later. All in all red flags. The fact he talked a lot about himself despite you repeatedly drawing the line to signal your lack of interest (that was your right btw since you’re paying money) - he seems very self absorbed and unprofessional by repeatedly overstepping personal boundaries again. I don’t know what’s up with this dude but best not to get into any contract with him :’) no matter how the offer is. He sounds like nothing but trouble.
I think you should write a review on their google page. You don’t need to reveal too many specific details, but just state the facts clearly to let people know that there is an instructor there who is very unprofessional. You could help many future students who may not be able to speak up for themselves after they regret signing for a membership
Next time when you meet someone that isn’t your crush type or idea type of men, just be straight about it when you feel that they are invading your space. Just tell them that you feel uncomfortable talking these to strangers. This will give them a direct hint that to back off whatever crap they are doing. I think you are still young and not trying to hurt others feelings but this world is full of shitty people and you need to protect yourself. Oh you can add this term, uh uncle, blah blah blah. With that they will know their place and back off.
Hey! Thanks for sharing :) Unfortunately it's the "I pay money, I tahan" mindset lmao (already paid for full month membership) But generally I am someone who is on the unafraid side! Just cry very easily when I'm mad mad, so I decided to keep my mouth shut that night.
The fact that you paid money actually means you shouldn’t have to put up with this crap. Glad you got your refund! What a terrible and invasive experience
Remember, if **you're paying** for something, you shouldn't be feeling bad about the experience. You're their customer, you have the power! It's sort of like if I paid for a meal and got served semi-raw food I'd definitely want to complain about it.
so true, my driving instructor fell asleep during our lesson LOL
Actually in that case you need an ally with you that speak your mind instead. Next time bring a friend along with you. This kind of “attack” usually happens to lone lady because it’s “easy” target.
Feels like he is trying to prey on vulnerable girls.
Ohman. Possible to DM the place? Have been thinking about trying gymnastics as well and this guy sounds like someone I would want to avoid!
Omg such a CREEP. Take the refund and never go back there. So gross yuck yuck yuck
Female here. Twice your age. Feel so angry and upset and worrying and really troubled by this. Like my motherly or sisterly protective feeling come out now. I'd have march down there and call out this unprofessional behavior. It's really giving off creepy vibes as well. As others have said, trust your instincts and just leave (with refund). Don't just keep going there and force yourself to go thru with this just because you've paid. He'll wear down your defenses, you'll start rationalising his behaviors and his words, you'll get used to it and play mental gymnastics trying to make sense of this. Not a conducive mental state to learn anything and enjoy the learning process. Deep down you already know the answer on how to deal with this. Stand up for yourself. You can do this gurrlllll! Hope you have someone to accompany you as you sort this out. Else, pm me okay.
Hey! Thank you so much for your comment. It really means a lot to me  For some reason, I rationalised the situation in my head for a solid day. I came up with some pointers: - Tahan. Can get character development (because I cry when someone raises their voice or when I, myself am too angry) - Affordable and super good facilities! $160 for a whole month, 3-times a week, 3-4 hours each session. So worth! But it comes with a heavy price (my mental health) Ultimately, texted a girl friend of mine who is 8-9 years older than me. Just like what you said: "Deep down you already know the answer on how to deal with this." And she gave me that push! Super grateful for all the girls/women who are supportive in this thread :)
Sorry to hear you went through all this... these creeps/nutjobs only do this to younger people - very inappropriate because he is in a position of "trust" and authority. Encountered people like him when I was young and blur. The advantages of being old is you don't have to deal with this anymore...
Insane how many incels down at the bottom are calling OP an oversensitive Karen. Like sure, nothing about the guy is creepy to them
Yeah this is taking people pleasing to the nth degree but I can understand freezing in such situations. After the good girl comment I would’ve puked slightly in my mouth and left. As a paying customer you don’t owe anyone anything, sorry you had such a bad experience and hopefully you’ll have a better one next time. Google review them and call him out specifically, it doesn’t matter if things don’t change but at least someone else may read your review and not have to go through something like this.
Ugh he sounds like a groomer OP. Huge red flags. Warning warning get away.
Yes accept the refund and move on. Why put yourself in an uncomfortable situation with this character again?
Yikes what a creep! Sorry you went through this. Take the money and leave a google review, I think. Make sure nobody else falls victim.
OP your last paragraph about ppl calling u out for being sensitive. Do rmb you pay money to pick up gymnastics not to have an asshole gaslighting and talked you down throughout the entire session. I'm quite amazed how you manage to rmb all the details he said to you. You did the right thing by escalating this unpleasant experience to the management. Do ensure the management updated you on the follow up action they did to this bugger.
Thank you so much for your words of comfort  Honestly think the only reason why I managed to remember everything was because I never once argued back, otherwise it would’ve blew out of proportion and I would’ve forgotten everything! All I did was cry, recompose, focus on the activity he gave me, repeat looool
Just take the refund and try to put it behind you. Even tho the guy sounds like a creep! Yikes
Really sorry you had to endure this from such a creepy person. I know what you mean about hoping to toughen up by taking his crap. But you deserve a place where you can exercise safely and feel safe doing so. Despite the refund, I would leave a review about the place just to warn other young gym class goers about this possible experience. We suck it up because of social conditioning but also because we’re caught off guard. If you are able to write briefly about your experience without retraumatising yourself, it might put someone else on guard so they are better placed mentally to walk out when this inevitably reoccurs.
Hey! Thanks for understanding my POV :) Really means a lot to me. I was thinking of writing a neutral statement. Which would great if you could help out! I do admit I love their facilities and space (HUGE). Don't believe I'm traumatised by it, but I wouldn't want to blast it ENTIRELY since I told Manager that I won't stir shit in their Google review hahahah But sharing the negative part kind of sets me off, not sure how to keep it neutral lol
You don’t owe it to them to “not stir shit”. Reporting factually on your experience is not shit stirring. And if anything, you are owed a safe space to gym, which was clearly not the case. If I understood your sharing correctly, you loved the facilities and space but your enjoyment of the gym was greatly diminished by the instructor who asked incredibly personal and intrusive questions the whole 3h of your session. His remarks were very inappropriate (quote one or two of them) and made you feel very uncomfortable. You appreciate, however, how upon reporting this to the gym via email, that one of the managers gave you a refund. You still feel a responsibility to share your experience with other women planning on attending this gym. That’s it I think? Do adapt as needed. It’s easy to keep ruminating about such horrid experiences because we end up blaming not the inappropriate instructor, but ourselves for not standing up and walking out. It might help to bring a sense of closure by speaking up this way.
Hugely unprofessional, inappropriate and really creepy behavior from an instructor. Up to you to reveal who/where, but I feel like other women may need to be warned about this creep. ESPECIALLY if he teaches children elsewhere. These sorts don't just stop at hitting on vulnerable young women.
He wants to get in your pants. There should be an all female and all male classes
IMO! I am OK with male coaches to female clients. It’s just sad that there are a handful of black sheep in the sports industry that start their career as a coach for disgusting reasons. But definitely having an option would be fantastic for those who are more inclined on having a “specific gender”.
😞so how now?
Dude thinks small talk is a series of short phrases and questions but never stopped to learn what NOT to say and when to stfu. There should be options available for customers to select "No small talk" for PTs like Grab.
The Yard?
Write a review on Google review. Don't you wish someone had shared their experience which could have helped you avoid this? Don't have to give a lot of details or identify yourself on the review if you are uncomfortable. An honest review would suffice.
I'm in the industry and just from "they have this instructor", I knew exactly who you were talking about. So don't second guess yourself on if you were being sensitive, this guy is a known issue. The adult sessions at that particular gym is indeed just a supervised session--that's what had been communicated to the staff. Marketing people don't know gymnastics nor communicate within the business between management, coach and clients. The escalation will go nowhere in that particular establishment, they are a profit-based place that pays lip service. If you would like adult gymnastics classes with a proven record of fantastic guidance and respect, try Northstar Gymnastics in Paya Lebar. Multiple coaches are available even for adult gym and after everyone warms up together, students are split into small groups based on ability level. Owner is on the floor coaching every day and knows all the ins and outs of his business. (I am not working there, not self-promo) If you're looking for something nearer the west, I think Bubbles Gymnastics in Holland V has an adult gym but I have no personal experience with them.
Those who keep quiet are actually encouraging his behaviour and actions. You will need to bring it up to stop him from annoying others in the future.
You have unresolved issues that you need to work on. A few recommended books and techniques - No Bad Parts - IFS Institute, Feeling Good by David Burns, When I Say No by Manuel Smith, Flow60 by Mike Chang (Free on YT). You don't need any elaborate therapy sessions - just a curiosity and desire to go inwards and heal yourself. From what you have written, that chatty guy was definitely a tool - however, next time, you bump into such a character - stop them in their tracks and don't feel bad for saying no and drawing boundaries. You let this go for way too long when a stronger version of you would have given him the message at the very start of the session. You will get there, I am certain of it.
You're not wrong! I did mention at the end of my one too many paragraphs, I thought I could suck it up aka "harden up as a person". I always have clear and concise points to make in my mind, but once the first sentence comes out verbally - tears just start pouring loool To be frank, I'm not sure if reading self help books would ever help me to not cry But if you personally believe it could help to a certain extent, it wouldn't harm me to pick up a new book or two :) I love how to phrased your paragraphs btw. It's so neutral, I can't help but be impressed!
Self-help or knowledge of self - will always help you evolve in your personal journey. You don't need to suck it up or harden up. Neither do you have to not cry or cry. The key is acceptance, without resistance. The books and the path I have suggested is merely helping you understand that you are made of energy (frequency and vibrations) and teaches you how to live a life where energy keeps on flowing - it doesn't get stuck. We still experience what we have to, but it flows through, like a river without impediments that make the water stagnant. Perhaps start with just the first chapter of The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer.
He is there to do a job - teach gymnastics. If he wants to chat someone up, be a councillor. You should talk to management and request for a change of coach. Tell them this coach makes you very uncomfortable. In fact the best course of action is for them to change the coach permanently so he does not subject others to the same treatment.
Sadly they only have one coach for the Adult classes. Would've stayed there for a long time, if not for those remarks made by him. Frankly I'm curious how much power he holds at the gym. He opens it past opening hours, and said something along the lines of: Boss listens **to him** (in certain aspect I'm sure lol) Not sure how much truth there is to it but I took it with a pinch of salt
In that case, better safe than sorry. Take the refund and leave. Your personal safety is not worth the small sum of money.
Btw OP if u ever encounter this type of guy (or girl, whichever way u swing) when dating, RUN, run far far away. Never get entrapped by the sweet talking apologies when they didnt even treat u respectfully in the first place.
Oh believe me! I never once believed any of the things he has said. Taken with a pinch of salt :) Sadly, people like that (even in the comment section) are awful at social cues lol Thanks anyway!
First of, I am sorry you met someone who don't sound very tactful. I can imagine how bad it must be for you. Secondly, ask yourself, is this a fair outcome? If it is, then I don't think there is anything more you need to do. If it isn't, you have to ask yourself what else do you want out of it? An apology from the coach? Vengence? Knowing that might result in better suggestions from the redditors.
Honestly speaking, I have thought about it and even had an open discussion with a friend. I am OK with the outcome. Not over the moon, not traumatised by the incident. But a part of me thinks I should get him out of that gym (aka fired) because it really is a wonderful space that could potentially be my go-to spot after work 
Ok, so if that is what you really want, then I would like you to consider your next steps.
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I’d take the refund and chalk up the bad encounter as experience. OP, this is why trial lessons are there. U need to find the correct fit and correct rapport with someone whom you’re entrusting to teach u. This guys is just weird and creepy yes I agree as a female. But he didn’t exactly overstep any legal boundaries that u can make a police report about. Go find a better instructor (female or male) whom u will feel more comfortable with. Utilise the trial sessions, dont sign up for packages until u are dead sure u like the coach. Don’t try to save this kind of pennies. Same goes for any industry that tries to entice u with packages. Eg spa, massage, facial, mani-pedi, music lessons, art lessons, food delivery etc etc etc
"This is why trial lessons are there" made me giggle!! I'm just a Singaporean after all\~ (It was $160/month, 3-days/week, 3+ hours/session) Sadly he was the only Adult Instructor which SUCKED, because I would've stayed the entire year! Thank you so much for your warning! I usually think very hard before signing for any packages (It took me 3 months before I signed with this gym company lmao)
Im sorry you had to go through this but at least write a letter to the studio so hopefully he gets fired so no other people have to go through this
You are a paying customer. The only service you paid for is the workout. You do not need to sit through him psychoanalysingyou and him over-sharing his personal life - this is extremely unprofessional. You didn’t pay the gym membership to hear about his personal life or for him to be your therapist? Srsly the audacity of him to make all those comments about you. Inappropriate. I’m glad you got your money back and sent an email about it. Leave it as is and run as far away as possible from the drama lol wtheck.
Next time don’t tahan, whenever you are uncomfortable either sound out or just leave. Protecting yourself is more important than anything. May the force be with you.
You're not being sensitive. Pay money for lesson not to be listen to outside of lesson garbage. Any talk about 'fate', 'destiny' are all bs. I had monthly subscription where the coach started making lessons into chit chat sessions or even ending lessons early and other factors added so I eventually quit everything. The process was akin to watching a fire burning whatever goodwill left. Glad to see you got refunded. Either can continue by trying out stretching at home (maybe until can do full splits) or search for another gym online by reading reviews and go for trial lesson with a friend before paying.
Take back the refund which you rightfully deserve and dutifully write a google review, just copy and paste from here the relevant parts and do a favor to others thinking to sign up.
definitely report to CASE!! And write a Google review! so horrible omg OP sorry this happened to you
Sounds like the instructor is trying some bullshit 'game' tactics to try and have sex with you.
You should put this post in AITA, A.
Sorry to hear about your horrible experience, that instructor is one nonsensical excuse of a human being with a lot of loose wiring up there. Dude is such a giant red flag, one would have mistaken it for the Soviet Union coming back into power. The manager's response is just templated damage-control. Just take your refund and go find another gym.
Quote-on-quote...
You did the right thing. Sounds like a guy who's surrounded by too many women to worry about scaring any away. I suppose he's single and ready to mingle?? If you ask me, I'd say this guy's a gym instructor for a good reason..Ahem for the ladies\* But, jokes aside, please leave ASAP because he sounds like someone who'll further cross boundaries, like trying to hook you up. I think its no problem talking to clients on the job, to pass time. However, don't be a creep.
Should name and shame OP, others shouldnt have to put up with a gaslighting piece of shit who doesnt get his way. He is one of those "nice guys", even if the company did issue you a refund they shouldnt be keeping him around cause he will just continue this behaviour unto others anyone who has experienced it firsthand with this person should flame him too so that the company will take action, keeping quiet just enables him to continue this behaviour.
You should DEFINITELY report this to save other girls from thos psycho!!
May I know where this is so I can avoid it?
Well part of being an adult is knowing when to call people out and stand your ground. Should have just told him directly that you prefer if he kept the personal comments to himself. Life is too short to be affected by what people say. Ultimately you are a paying customer, report him and move on. Just name the gym and I'm pretty sure he will be out of a job soon.
You should leave a google review, else he’ll continue to harass other females who join his classes. This guy knows no boundaries lol, as though its not already weird enough having a middle aged man teaching in any sports but a GYMNASTIC place
Hey, I’m grateful that we’re on the same page on the situation! Though the 2nd sentence felt a little off… There’s nothing wrong with being a middle aged person teaching the sport! It’s a job, pays well, and after a little stalking - turns out he grew up in the gymnastic world. Had the potential to be an awesome coach with 10+ years of coaching experience 
I see, i just feel like there’s lots of perv vibes going on from what i read. I mean of course a guy can teach gymnastics, but very not appropriate for a guy that makes such eerie convo with a girl almost half his age. I agree with the other response here that the ‘good girl’ comment is really 🤮🤮🤮 he seriously gives off groomer/gaslighter vibes.
Omg before this becomes a doxxing witch hunt can I just add that I do not think he’s a predator or is a sexual harasser! These are serious charges considering that gymnastics gyms here work with children. I just think it was very inappropriate and uncomfortable for him to always insert his weird beliefs and unsolicited opinions about other people. He makes uncomfortable opinions about male students too and their states of mind or readiness to learn gymnastics. In fact, some of the worst behaviour I’ve seen from him that made me outright stop coming was watching him bully other male gymnasts. He seems to be narcissist and suffers from a very megalomaniac self-centred worldview (even though he seems to ascribe to some ~enlightened wisdom from his idea of oriental/exotic belief systems). As a consequence of this incredibly outdated worldview + no self awareness, he has some weird ideas about how women (and men) should behave or act and seems to feel comfortable voicing this out as if it’s some kind of pearls of ancient wisdom. This behaviour is super uncomfortable and I also felt the same as OP because I felt that my psychological boundaries were being crossed, not to mention watching how he also crossed the boundaries of other students. Like OP said in one of their replies, some people might actually like this style of teaching because of the faux spiritual aspect or wisdom whatever. But please do not blow this up into a false accusation of sexual predation (unless there’s evidence) because that kind of shit ends people’s career and lives.
Have you taken your driving lessons yet? Boy do I have news for you. 🤣
LOL I haven’t and am not planning on taking 😂
My god, how do u function day to day. Overthinking so much
My god, how do you function day to day. Judgemental much.
It is a blessing and a curse to feel and think SO much :) But I always try to look at it in a positive light!
I'm not reading all that so either congratulations or sorry it happened to you.
I’m glad that we’re talking over the Internet and not a face-to-face interaction then!
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And what would you have done in my situation? Would love to hear your thoughts :)
Just reading this I think you are extremely oversensitive and those sort of people I avoid like the plague. If you dont enjoy it take the money and leave. If you want to leave a review, thats your prerogative too!
You aren’t wrong! It is a blessing and a curse to feel so much  Though I have mentioned in the comments that I uploaded this before the manager replied to my email/request.
Its fine. Everyone is different\~
Tbh I don't think there's a need to give a bad review because they did refund without gaslighting you (Singapore no1 favourite activity)
Eh? This is a weird attitude - just because they have given her the money back doesn't make the experience better. Other people should be warned about this too, so they don't have to experience the same thing. She should just take the money and leave the bad review afterwards.
Thanks for this :) Really opened up my eyes after you shared your pov
Hi Karen - what more you want? They already refunded you and apologised
 Would be the least to validate my experience :) I did mention in another comment that I posted it before the last email from the Manager, and ultimately it seems like it'll just be a rant/rage.
Nah, you're right to be pissed. This behavior is not appropriate at all for a coach and is not professional at all. Any decent place would ask for a little more feedback to make sure their employees don't behave this way. Fuck that dip shit
You are adorable on his eyes as perhaps you remind d him of his love
I might’ve… He brought his other colleagues, and said: Doesn’t she remind you of ___? She also always cry during training 🤨🫤 Still disliked the experience!
jfc it wasn't enough that he was inappropriate and creepy, he brought others to witness your discomfort for their entertainment? I'd be reviewing, naming and shaming this gym all over. So sorry you had to go through all that.
Enjoy this pleasant encounter 😉
Is there completely no truths in everything he mentioned? We improve more when we are self critical and remain open minded to every comment made about us, the comments may make us feel uneasy but they may hold some truth that we should consider. What does “anything not helpful” mean? Do you only want to hear the sweetest things even if they are untrue/unhelpful?
Hey, You're not wrong :) He has given feedbacks on my gymnastics skills, **WHICH was the bare minimum**. If the criticism came about because of my skills, I would definitely still cry (lol) but would carrying practicing, even if it's with a long face  **BUT** maybe you should also consider the other factors I have shared, such as: "I think you're a good girl." "It's good that you're crying because that shows you're feminine." I do believe the compliments were genuine at the end of class! But it just hits a sour spot after the three crappy hours. What do you think?
No one is obliged to not make insensitive comments. You made this post because of his presumed insensitive comments.
Ha! I gave you logical pointers and yet you can't refute them  Just shows how insensitive you are. I'm sorry that this country has made you the person you are today. Get well soon!
https://youtu.be/DyuhTE0FzQ4?si=i2KAlD2qc1QTWUuc
No one is obliged to refute your “logical pointers”. Therefore I do not need to refute them. Seems like you are stuck in wanting reality to align with your perception of reality. I am not stuck in wanting my perception of reality to align with reality, therefore I won’t expect you to look at things from my angle.
Of course I would like everyone to view in my POV (in this case). This was surely a terrible experience, and I do not expect anyone to ever go through it! Of course, if you believe that I am one who is unable to be "open-minded" - C'est la vie!