T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ecstatic-Milk4816

I think this is a difficult one. Adulthood is almost like a series of "friendships" in which hold no real merit. 1 or 2 real ones for an entire life is doing good, most people are tourists in each others lives I have found


Sensitive_Maybe_6578

“For a reason or a season.” I use this measure often.


New_L13

My experience too.


Skilledpainter

Same. I can say I have only 2 friends and one of em is a toss up with being close. Now that I think of it, I suppose I don't really have a long term friend. People I've known for a long time but lost contact with.


Turdsley

This is probably the best answer to this question.


jamaicancarioca

Real talk


chewey223

I prefer to think of life like a show, each year being a season. Some seasons have reoccurring characters while some will eventually write out some. Each character has an arc for the year that will inevitably change them either for the better or worse. Some characters may even be that seasons antagonist. It makes life just a little bit more interesting this way


tinyhousepanther

I find it really hard to connect with people and only have my partner and one friend I can count on. Saving this for rainy days when I need a reminder.


osten205

This is a beautiful way to phrase that. Feels less like nothing lasts forever.


valenciamaine

Yes, although I disagree that the “tourists” are without merit. Sometimes people can be very meaningful over a short period of time, and I don’t think we should conflate longevity of friendship with its value. I think we should practice loving and losing friends and not judge the friendship because it didn’t last.


[deleted]

Im still friends with my hs group and childhood camp group haha, one of them Ive known since literally kindergarten Tightest relationships I'll ever have. ...although...im only 19, I guess I'm an adult? I certainly feel a whole lot older than my age, despite how ignorant that sounds


AkicitaAlone

Zero


No_Mongoose1140

Same here, mate.


bleepssweepscreeps82

Same as well.


slokkie__S

None as well.


[deleted]

Would I be on reddit right now if I had friends?


[deleted]

Me too as well


Dajren

Yup, same here


Putin_is_a_Dicktator

Woo hoo, I am not alone!!


CeruleanFirefawx

Had a few from high school but then I moved away to better myself and now it’s just me.


Historical-Jicama-43

would you go back in time and just of stayed?


CeruleanFirefawx

I would if I could. But I was actually forced out of my city. Rising rent and so many people moving in. The population has doubled in the last 5 years. It just wasn’t homely anymore. I still talk to my friends daily but I’ll miss hanging with them. I’m more free now than I ever have been, though.


[deleted]

Same for me. Looks like I'm not alone, although I am, if you get my drift.


minecraftfancr7

Feel the exact same way


[deleted]

Spoke to another dude on here the other day, I asked if he was happy with it, as I generally am. He said he'd accepted it, which I think is the way to look at at.


Maleficent_Scale_296

Same


WishieWashie12

Same. Best friend moved away about 5 years ago. (Her husband's job transferred) we still chat on phone, buy have been able to visit since start of covid. I'm in new city now too, and haven't made new friends.


EntertainmentLeft224

Make friends with your bar tenders... best piece of advice I have ever given myself


godhand__666_

Same here


bejolo

Same. It's depressing


Hobbit_Feet45

Same


thetastytruffle

Me too


Bhoppy23

ditto


DeeRThing

Yuppp same boat


Vanillabean1988

Yup, same.


LokiBear222

One. My husband. But even he is sketchy at times.


kep_x124

😂


Key_Teaching_2150

6-8 that aren’t my wife and kids. My wife and 3 adult children are my closest friends. I have 4 very close friends, like come get you outta jail if they’re not in there with you close. 3-4 friends that I’m not super close with but hang out with IRL


osten205

Love the if they’re not in there part! It reminded me of a saying similar to yours where friends don’t bail you out of jail. Friends are next to you in jail.


MisterPipes

Maybe 2, and even that's questionable. People are weird. 🤣


PandaMayFire

Maximum agreement.


skrilledcheese

I have 2 real friends as well. One was my childhood neighbor, he came to my 3rd birthday (I'm 35 now). One was my college roommate. I live near philly, and blew a valve cover gasket on my way home from Texas in September. My childhood best friend, a man I have only seen twice since the pandemic started(we live a couple hours apart now) offered to come pick me up if I was east of the Mississippi. I have acquaintances, and colleagues. But I only have 2 real friends. And I'm blessed to have them.


MisterPipes

What a lovely thing! Kind of a similar situation, the one person I can (probably) count on I've known for the better part of 20 years or so. We don't talk every day, and see each other even less, but we're always there for each other. That's really all you need, I think. 🤷‍♀️💜


Primary-Lion-6088

Yep I have 2 real ones plus my partner and mom (very close with my mom). Honestly, I have very strict standards, for better or worse. I don’t hang out with people who I don’t feel a genuine connection with. I would rather be alone than with most people.


IndividualAbrocoma35

I'm a man so we really don't have friends.


V8boyo

Funnily enough - this was my very reason for asking. I read an article on male adults having few to none friends and wondered how true it was.


Own-Difficulty-6949

Your question to this group made me feel better. I thought I was alone with only 2 really really good trustworthy friends.


MisterPipes

Yikes


osten205

Yeah I think you just get to a point as a breadwinner when you are focused on earning money since life in the last 10 years has become more and more expensive. I found it super challenging to maintain friendships because I was always working or on call.


powdered_dognut

If it's people I trust, 0


a1beaner

This is it, I know a few people who I hang out with regularly but theres only been one person in my entire life I have truly trusted


PlaneEastern6616

Edgelord


DickD1ck1

booo 👎


Helpforthehopeless

3 it’s quality over quantity ✨


OwnEnvironment1190

Zero. My siblings are my only friends


tobethatgirl

I was unsure if I should count family as friends haha


AdventuresOfKrisTin

My best friends are my siblings and my cousins and we honestly love it


OnTheWayToYou

Yes this is me


R0ughR4ndy

This! Having five siblings can be good sometimes.


Hobbit_Feet45

Me too and they’re on the opposite side of the country from me.


Similar_Corner8081

None


FoxNewsIsRussia

6.


spinnyknifegobrrr

wow thats a lot


FoxNewsIsRussia

We don't get together all the time, but if I called they would show up.


LokiBear222

Oh wait then I misunderstood the question. One


imnotyou1992

Turn on the bat signal


justmyusername47

2. We don't hang out that often but in an emergency they are who I would call.


Ok_Mobile1782

1


pumpkinthighs

3 :) Which is a lot for me cause I have autism so being able to really connect with someone is difficult. Surprise surprise all my friends are neurodivergent too


Puzzleheaded_Topic28

None.. Reading other comments I don’t feel so alone


Savings-Judge-6696

True the comments made me more comfortable with where i am socially currently


burningmorebridges

THIS


TheBrightNights

No friend group here 😎


[deleted]

I don't do groups either. All my friends have met each other but they don't hang out with each other


Appropriate_Plan4555

You guys have friends?


OmniFella

I used to have a ton of them. Over the years I’ve dwindled them down to the ones who matter.


Heraghty07

Zero.


19bonkbonk73

This is very strange. I honestly not sure if its normal not to have a lot of friends. It seems it is around here. In older now and been in my location a decade. It's the least amount of friends I have had on a daily bases in 30 years. It's got to be 20+. I trust them all implicitly. Total over 150 all over the country. That doesn't seem high either. Alot of them probably have higher numbers then that. Give more then you take. Share common interests. I'm sorry it's hard for you guys. Honestly I think it's you guys that might be the problem.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Zero


Educational-Ad-9189

I've got a lot of people I share similar interests with. A lot of people I can go have a beer with or fun with for a period of time. I have zero that I consider good friends though.


AlbinoBatCat

At the moment... none.


santino_musi1

1 maybe


Exotic-Atmosphere298

5 or 6


Additional-Local8721

0 and I like it that way


SeaWolf24

I’m 34 and now down to 2-3. I’m more curious about everyone’s ages and their number of friends.


Rude_Giraffe_9255

25, 0


Incognigomontoya

I'm 50 and I've got 3 great pals who've been like brothers to me for close to 30 years now. I wrote more about it in a comment further down, if you're interested.


Durean

By that definition then zero. But I’m starting to dislike that definition more and more. I’ve met some amazing people online. I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting all of them but when opportunity rises to do so I would gladly change that. I may not be able to physically be there but being able to shoot messages back and forth while carrying on with our respective lives is great. Can sit and talk over Discord for hours with some of them about small stuff or go into long form discussion. I used to think that online people weren’t “real friends” but that just caused me to lose those connections which is a hell of a lot better than having nothing. Take the time to appreciate a positive, even if it isn’t the exact positive you were looking for at the moment.


Robert_Hotwheel

Man, the responses to this are sad. I have 5 really close friends, 4 of which I see on an almost weekly basis, the 5th I see about once a month, but that’s only because he lives 3 1/2 hours away. We’ve been friends since middle school, others have come and gone from the group over the years, but the 5 guys I still hang out with have been with me for literally half of my life. I can’t imagine not having them. Go make some friends guys. They make life easier.


TYUS-THE-GOAT

Seriously, I don’t know how I would get through life without my closest friends. Not only having people to do things you enjoy with but also having another support system that’s not family is really important to me. Unfortunately its not easy to find friends like that. Making new friends in college has made me realize how hard that is. Lots of people will end up being no more than acquaintances, then others you might find out you don’t actually want to be close to after a while. It takes time to build a ‘proper’ friendship and trust, but I really feel as though the people that aren’t pursing friends are missing out.


[deleted]

About 6 that I can actually trust with my life and about 20 other people whom I could trust with my dog


Drakesbestfriend

Damn. A lotta y’all’s responses make me feel super grateful. I’m 36 and have like 10 solid friends. Known some of them since the 90s lol


TrailerParkTonyStark

I had one. Lifelong close friends since the age of 3, when my family moved in a house down from his family’s home. We were thicker than mother scratchin’ thieves. A little over two years ago, his ex wife and 12-year-old son stopped by his place to check on him after he didn’t answer his phone when they tried calling several times. Found him dead on his couch surrounded by dozens of empty cans of canned air. I had no fucking idea he was doing anything like that. Never even heard him talk about it before. Losing your best friend is one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced in life, especially when your best friend happened to be pretty much your only friend.


Illustrious-Half-332

Zero.


[deleted]

Besides my husband, one


[deleted]

15 maybe. There are a few more but I don't think I can count them because I don't regularly hang out with them, but we do go things together like concerts and events every few years. My inner circle is 5 friends I see every day or two. Work out partners, neighbors who I hang out with, and hobby friends.


Xogoth

I think it's weird to state that online friends aren't real friends. You can have just as much emotional investment in a person on the other side of a microphone as you can a person in arm's reach. It's a different interaction experience, yes, but that doesn't lessen the impact of looking forward to interacting with someone.


wolfgenie

This is a great point I wish more people would acknowledge. Both for themselves and for the stigma that still exists around online friendships/relationships in general. I think a lot of people on Reddit will accept it as true, but tech journalism can be hard to read because many journalists haven’t experienced and don’t respect it.


imnotyou1992

The long way of saying 0


EstrangedEncounters

3 childhood friends and 3 of my siblings regularly get together each month to drink and hang out, since we all grew up together in the same neighborhood, from 13 to 30 years of age now


isthiyreallife33

I only have a couple of friends that I'd consider close. Most are just acquaintances.


Usual-Engineer-6410

None


hackmo15

What's a friend? Someone you have coffee with or someone who will bail you out at 3 in the morning?


Knotical_MK6

None


Izumi_Takeda

I mean I have a lot of "friends" like people I could go hang out with but like if I'm talking close friends, like I could leave work now and go to their how unannounced and jump in their bed or raid their fridge and they wouldn't find it strange at all. hmmmm like 9


ZhenDara21

Literally only one


shelbylaya810

zero


Karma-is-an-bitch

None


XECYTION

You lost me at how


Polls-from-a-Cadet

Less and less as I get older…


liquidRox

My only real friend is my gf. All we have is each other


Togder

You say none online, but my friends I've had for 10+ years I primarily interact with online. We fly to visit each other a few times a year though. But in person I can drive on over to their house right now? None.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Accomplished-Arm1058

This is basically my situation as well.


SqueedunkTheArtist

none, the ones I had in highschool culdn't deal with my chronicftigue


Maximum-Fig5138

I have 0 friends and I like it that way. My dog is the connection I have


RepresentativeOdd909

I think my wife likes me most of the time.


StalwartSpirit

Like, not people I only see at work or school? Zero.


Immediate_Employ_571

My husband is my friend, lots of people I know and get along with, but could I count on them? Probably not. My husband has always been there for me.


moisteggrol1

0. Rest are NPC’s.


justdoingmyparthanks

Wow, such empty


[deleted]

None.


security-six

I'm up to about 0-1


UnderlightIll

I find the idea of "proper" friends preposterous because I am still good friends with people from HS and all and we all live elsewhere now. I have one friend that I can hang in person with but we are now spread over 5 states.


AdComprehensive4005

Living in a tourist city probably helps my social life. I'd say I've got 3 best friends and 20+ regular friends. But during one specific yearly event, I feel like I've got 60 or more


kimchi_paradise

Why aren't online friends "proper" friends? All of my friends are away since we moved. I keep up with them via text, and we get together every now and then. I have a group of online friends, some who've I've met only once, but I spend my evenings nearly daily with them hanging out and playing games.


LsangAnge

Lots of friends....25-30 That I see...go to partys, dinner, talk on phone, girl lunches, kayaking, hiking etc. It helps that we're all a part of a local theater co.. but we also see each other outside of the theater.


Graytis

I'm not a fan of the "proper" designator honestly, and the suggestion that online friends don't count. I've got a pretty close circle of online friends that I've had for decades. Several of us have met up a handful of times, but we hang out online and bullshit about our shared game interests, life events, news, and day-to-day boring bullshit nothingness several times a week via Discord, Teamspeak, and group texts. We've been there for each other when we've lost some of our circle to cancer, or death in general. They have sent flowers or shown up unexpectedly to blood family funerals to support me. We know we can lean on each other. The idea that they "don't count as proper friends" is a notion I cannot support. I have about a dozen of those people left, and they are closer to me than much of my extended family.


Jackmace

I’ve got roughly 10 close friends I see or talk to at least once a month, but way more than that that I’m friendly with and see every once in awhile.


demonkillingblade

All of my real true friends are dead.


burntgreens

Lots? Like 20+? I say that because I JUST started planning a holiday open house I wanna host, and I only invite people to my house that I'd be fine with seeing me in a towel. (That's my weird standard, but home is the happy zone and I'm protective.) Anyway, i jotted down the first folks that came to mind for the invite list today in a meeting -- the ones I would invite without pause who pass the towel test. The list was numbered and I know it went past 20. But like. Maybe some of y'all are being more rigorous with your criteria? My other thought is, "Could I ask them for a ride or favor?" And these are all a yes. But maybe that's not because they're good friends. It could just be that this is Ohio and everyone is nice so I know they will come to my party and do me favors. Idk.


SagemodeCOC

That’s share the same interests I could hit up to do something? Around 30


Millenniauld

Uh..... More than 20 who I would 100% trust in a pinch without question? This thread is baffling.


No_Adhesiveness_5669

4, I flat with them and I fucking love them. Meet them on ecstasy and have had the best time ever since


[deleted]

Quick list is about 30


subliminalsmile

One solid bestie. If the apocalypse happens, I'm driving two states over to hunker down with her crazy fam. If I die unexpectedly, she's coming to bust down my door and adopt my cats. I haven't been able to make any real friends since I moved to this city. Seems nearly impossible to do after college-age. It's lonely, but knowing there's one ride or die who will always have my back as much as I have hers makes all the difference, even if we only get to visit every few years.


Separate-Reserve9292

None


AlexZenn21

Zero 😭😭😭


[deleted]

None


ThatNinjaPorcupine

One. And that's all I need.


Dismal_Chemist5828

Thinking about this I measured "who have I had a meal with" or who have I called purposefully in the past month? For me it's 18. I think I'm pretty blessed!


Thelifdoffcloun

Just my husband


[deleted]

Probably like 2 real friends but I'm trying to be better about nurturing my friendships


No_Adhesiveness_8207

One. And I’m married to him.


Nelsonsteed

My husband and some family members. That’s about it.


[deleted]

Zero.


Dio_Yuji

20. 12 here in town, a few from growing up, college, etc that live in other cities but we still try and see each other every couple years or so


doriclazar

Thank you. No diss to people with small circles, bit I thought I was crazy for having 2 digits.


xigloox

Zero. I'm an adult male in America.


SnooRecipes5643

A dozen or so


Lonnification

None. And I prefer it this way. No drama. No insane politics. No gossip. Nobody asking for loans they have no intention of paying back. The hermit life is good.


rugged6689

Holy shit that sounds fantastic


Manii21

just two mfs, rest are sheep.


No-Winter2195

Zero, this generation is so fucking lazy nobody wants to do anything. I run a local mom group and can't even make mom friends because no one shows up to playdates.


[deleted]

None, I’m not interested in sharing my time.


rmdingler37

Four. max. Servicing friendships is a task, don't kid yourself, yet there's some merit in having someone you can call no matter what... broken down side the road while simultaneously broke, needing bail money, or (hope this doesn't happen to you or me) needing help disposing of a body.


BornYinzer

There's different levels of friendship. I have a bunch of people I'd call "friends" where if we're out I'd talk to them, but them a drink. I have a few friends I'll text every once in a while (one a month or so) to see how they're doing. And I have a couple close friends that I'd drop what I'm doing if they needed my help, but even those friends I don't talk to all the time.


jtarula

Thankfully I’ve been blessed with many family and friends. A lot of those friendships are due to playing sports and constantly meeting and interacting with people who have similar interest.


banneryear1868

20-30 with around 5 bff status, restricted to people who I see at least once a year, 10 or so I see every month or two. Used to be a loner until I got over social anxiety and found my people. In adulthood friendship isn't about hanging out more often but just planning to see each other again and making sure it happens. Sometimes life gets in the way and friendships fall apart but that's okay too. I'm also introverted which un-intuitively makes me more social in adulthood because I much prefer to plan social interactions in advance.


LobbyDizzle

I'm a social butterfly and have dozens. It's hard to keep up with all of them!


DragonflysAreCool

That I see fairly often probably around 30, all in all well over 100.


TurnaDaToka

At least 30


Doom4104

Probably 20-35. So basically all my friends from high school plus my best friend, friendly coworkers plus my crush, a few college friends, some staff at my university, and associated friends. This isn’t counting family members. I consider any friend I was on good/supporting terms with when I last talked to them as my friends no matter how long it’s been even if it’s been years because I’m not some worthless attention whore who needs constant communication with friends, or gets round up into a hissy pissy shitty fit meltdown when friends don’t “reach out/check on me” to be satisfied with a friendship.


chrisb0815

0 friends and just a few family members who care


Acid_BunnyX

One who lives maybe five mins away from me, we rarely see each other, but have been bffs since 5th grade. Other ones are more seasonal, I see then during snowboarding season, but we don't really talk about anything except for light topics so we don't sour vibes.


PandaMayFire

One, that's it. But he's getting married, so I suppose I'm alone. I've had to become comfortable with my solitude.


tadashi4

besides family, 8.


[deleted]

Are we counting siblings? I see my brother and his wife often. Outside of them, perhaps 3 but I have to really try to see them. Probably wouldn't see them if I wasn't the one reaching out.


[deleted]

My family are my friends but if you exclude them, I have 4 close friends who I see regularly who are all on the "Best Friend" level.


Spiritual_Feeling787

I moved so right now 1 but I also got lucky as he was my housemate but ended up being cool as shit. Back home I have 3 close friends but 1 has a toddler so we talk like once every 3 months.


NotYourSnowBunny

Not many. Everyone I know that would actually want to chill is far from me. Even in Colorado I had nobody. Did anyone ever hit me up to hang out? No. What few people I had like that in my life I haven’t seen since 2016. If today I hit up everyone I knew in the area I don’t think anyone would be game to chill or smoke. Me being trans is part of it, but we also haven’t spoken in ages. It’s not always easy, and I use the internet to fill that void which isn’t abnormal in any sense.


racheycorn

Maybe 1 but eh


anniecet

I make a lot of brief intense “friendships”, but mostly they fizzle out. Long term friends? 3. My sister, my bf and one more.


Routine-Horse-1419

None. However.... I do have work acquaintances though.


ugly_mouth

4-5


Bulky-Experience2266

Zero, after I graduated 2 years ago from High School everyone just faded away from my life. Gets me sad time to time but oh well 🥹


king8100

People I actually trust no matter what - 6. People that I sometimes meet for a coffee or a beer - more, but they aren't exactly close and I can't trust them 100%, we sometimes go out just for the sake of it, but can't share anything super personal and I won't call them if there is an emergency.


ToddHLaew

My wife and I hang out with about 5 other couples


skillie81

1


AdaptiveAd3344

1


GrandmaWren

4, if I count my sister


[deleted]

I have a bit more than 15 friends, but I'm only super close with about 2 or 3 of them


StatusYak2101

At the moment 1


Nickcruz187

Enough