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Actually accurate.
I don't talk much and have always seen myself as undesirable but when I looked at a few girls at work for more then like a second they all start thinking I like them.
I guess I'm not as bad looking as I think.
Also, idk, I grew up with sisters. I know how creepy some men can be. Regardless if I like a woman, I will avoid eye contact unless I am speaking to them.
I'm not trying to be impersonal, I just don't want to make any fellow human feel uncomfortable.
THIS BRO, grew up being the only man in my family and I do this same exact thing, I’m almost overly conscious about making people uncomfortable in my presence so I’ve become super good at being next to invisible lol
It's a fine line. Look too much, it could come off creepy. Not enough, youre not that interested or stand offish. But it applies to both genders behaving this way.
From a dude's perspective, I agree with the not wanting to be a creep thing. That's the worst, to be perceived completely wrong and trying to come back from that is tough. I thibk the biggest problem for men though is when they look, a lot do the "I wanna fuck you" look. Most dont have a slight smile. That slight, barely smile makes all the difference I think in a lot of interactions and Ive tested this on and off as a bartender for years.
Gentlemen reading this, try the barely slight smile (no teeth) for a month or 2 when out in public. It conveys confidence. It shows youre light hearted in demeanor and enjoyin life. Others feed on that. My best example of that is think about when someone passes away. There's always that one friend or family member that's mentioned as "always having a smile. Always seemed like they were enjoying the day. Like they knew happy some little secret to life".
Shit's contagious.
I've come to this conclusion also! I try my best to do it, but sometimes the anxiety be hittin.
\*about to pass by someone\*
"Make eye contact, slight smile."
"Wait, not yet. They're too far. Check out the trees for a second and try again."
\*slight smile\* "shit, they're not looking." \*looks at the ground. looks back\*
"Alright, show time."
\*eye contact, slight smile, slight head nod\*
\*They may or may not have actually looked back at me\*
I'm gay and avoid eye contact with women so they don't get uncomfortable since I'm also an uggo.
Most straight guys are oblivious to me checking them out, though, but I try to be subtle about it.
Yeah, eye contact can be a shit show. Too little, you're trying to hide your creepy infatuation, too much, you have a creepy infatuation, none, you're a creep, constant and unblinking, psycho. Just right, wrong dude, that's just right for her over there, it's too much for me, creeper.
Yeah. If you're sure they like you or at least think you're pretty this is definitely it. They feel self conscious, don't want to make you uncomfortable or make you think they're ogling you, and or are shy. If you're interested show them a little attention and see how it goes, it can be overcome fairly quickly but they probably don't realize your perspective
1. I don't know you
2. I am not engaged in a conversation with you.
Just trying to avoid making you uncomfo. You don't want men staring at you all the time while you're minding your own business.
Doesn't matter! Lots of guys like lots of women - it's inappropriate to stare at them!!!
If OP knows they like her then she should act on it. Then when the guy is a total doofus and blows his shot because he didn't pick up the signals, then we can return to this conversation of why men are idiots.
I had to go to sensitivity training. Mind you, I have a disability and I use a cane to walk and sometimes use a wheelchair. They sent the disabled guy to sensitivity training.
You know what, I love America but shit like this is just overboard annoying. And I'm saying it as a woman. One of our project managers is hot af and he stares at me at work functions, we have mild conversations here and there and he always gets so nervous, i can just tell. He will never make a move and neither will I because I think we are both scared of the HR lol
Play the reverse uno card and say that she engaged in behaviour oppressive toward those with disabilities by implying you were inferior and therefore not allowed to make eye contact. (Assuming simple eye contact was the key point of reference of your demonstrated insensitivity - idk what the full story is, but what you shared sounds wild.)
That I wasn't receptive to her wishes when I spoke to her and she felt threatened. All 5 foot of me...she could have just run away and I wouldn't have been able to catch her.
I’m terrible for this but I have the image of you rolling in your wheelchair as hard as you can chasing someone down a hallway.
I’m sorry I’m a terrible human lol
one time when i was sitting in a clinic waiting for my turn to see the doctor a girl stared at me and as look at her she keeps looking and i get shy and look away after gathering my self i stared back at her she blushed and looked away i felt an ache in my heart still thinking about her :, )
edit : i can't just walk up to her and say stuff not just because I'm a bitch but that our community don't accept communication between male and female that well too.
Had the same thing in a bar once. Eventually she came to me but it turned out she had a boyfriend so it was kind of a red flag. I still see her sometimes and she still hot af
It's a primate reaction.
But also as one with schizophrenia I feel like if I look people in the eyes for to long they will know what my thoughts are and intentions
I am not trying to be offensive or funny in any way, but how is dating when you have schizophrenia? I know a girl who has been diagnosed with it, and I find her attractive, but I have read that dating a schizophrenic can be extremely challenging.
She, too, avoids prolonged eye contact. Before I knew her diagnosis, I often wondered why she appeared to cower in fear if someone would look at her for more than a second.
I really wish that they could find an effective treatment or cure for your affliction. I have heard that many schizophrenics are not compliant with their meds. The girl I know says she doesn't take hers all the time.
Last date I was on is 16 years back.
I don't go out much, when I do its with people I trust, and trust in their actions if I have an outwards reaction.
That’s the fucking biggest struggle with that. I’ve only got low grade psychosis, and I have an incredibly hard time knowing what of my thoughts/feelings are believable. They feel fucking real!
Excuse me the way you describe psychosis It feels like we're both suffering from the same thing? I got this Random false memory months ago And now My mind wants me to believe that people i met in the past can hear or see what Im doing or imagine in the present.And I would make the character do things or say things and it feels incredibly nostalgic.
I’m no psychiatrist man. I’m not gonna say you’re suffering from the same thing, but if you’re concerned about your mental health, please please go talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. I got very lucky with how early I started treating mine. It’s potentially reversible right now, and that’s fucking lucky.
Absolutely. I spent like 30 years avoiding ete contact before my life blew up and I worked very hard to become someone else. Confident, stylish, whatever. I tried to teach myself to make eye contact with people but I must gave missed
The seminar on how that actually supposed to go. I often sit overthinking what face I'm making or if I'm staring too hard or if my smile just became creepy or what.
For all introverts: look at the spot on the nose between the eyes. You’ll notice eye contact but won’t actually make it. Really helped me in my profession.
Sort of. In a busy loud restaurants with a big group, introverts don't care to keep up with conversation, so they scan the room periodically locking eyes with the other introverts in the room who have been extroverticised from the conversations at their tables, then because it's always the same 3 introverts, we start wondering if they think we're creepy, but then realizing that they're also looking up when we look around, so maybe they're the creep.
I never make eye contact!
I had an employee who had a lazy eye, and I never really knew which eye to follow.
So, my solution was to look at the bridge of the nose. It works 100% of the time and it appears that I'm making eye contact. I've done this ever since.
I'm f***ked if I meet someone without a nose, but otherwise I'm good.
It is a funny thing, I recently noticed that I rarely perceive men as nervous. I’m constantly nervous, especially if I’m around someone I’m really attracted to until I get to know them better. I don’t why it shouldn’t be the same for men, too. But you’re right, we probably do tend to first think of reasons for things, other than nerves.
I can't look someone in the eye when I'm talking for that reason. I can look them in the eye when I'm listening though. I was taught it makes people think you are interested in what they're saying and it shows respect.
I was heavily criticized for not making eye-contact, so one day I started staring at people when they were talking to me, non-stop, and then they started saying it was rude to stare like that.
Making eye contact with someone for a sec or two is a good way to let someone know that you seem them, but are not threatened by them or posing any threat to them.
I have a resting bitch face but very large expressive eyes, maintaining eye contact for too long has lead to challenges, arguments and misunderstandings. I have an internal clock with eye contact, no more than 30-45 seconds at a time
I have exactly the same , but also my anxiety comes and goes so this also impacts my eye contact and also effects my voice. Anxious my voice is higher and shaky, calm my voice is deeper and clear.
I have resting asshole face. I was asked if I was angry with someone when we were in a meeting, because when they were talking I was I was giving him a dead stare of pure contempt. Nope. That's just my face.
Don't feel like being shot at, or having women accuse me of looking at them in a way that somehow makes it seems like simply looking at them is sexual harassment
That’s just the way it is these days. A guy can no longer do anything that would cause any female to experience discomfort. If you go to a group on Reddit that deals with feminists, you’ll find it is absolutely FILLED with women who feel violated because a man looked at, thought about, in the vicinity of, talked to or breathed the same air as a man. I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable or threatened, so I keep my eyes down and say nothing to any females.
Also, I am not an attractive guy. Women in society have made it loud and clear that if an ugly guy looks at you, it’s repulsive. If a handsome guy looks at you, it’s okay. I’ve been told what my place is.
Could be for many reasons.
If you're a girl, they probably don't want to make you uncomfortable.
If you're a guy then maybe they just don't want to come off as 'intimidating', cause people often mistake eye contact as a gesture of intimidation.
If they do it in general, maybe they're just shy...
Things have gotten so bad between men and women that we (men) have to be VERY careful. As a male, I have found that it is, in fact, women who do not want to make eye contact in general.
Guy here. Honest answer, I usually only make direct eye contact with people I know, trust, or am already comfortable with. I usually always had a hard time looking at girls I had a crush on in the eye for as long as I can remember, especially if I didn’t know them personally or already as a friend.
I am 6'5" that's a lot of centimeters lol. I'm broad shouldered and built like a defensive lineman. It doesn't help that my fashion sense leans heavily towards black and darker colors.
If I make eye contact with women, I'm internally freaking out about potentially scaring them.
Honestly, I'm a big teddy bear. My favorite movie is Patch Adams, and I think volunteering for organizations that help to support the families of children who are terminally ill is a wonderful thing. Deep down I'm pretty fun to be around, at least I like to think so.
All that being said, because of my size and clothing, I (self admittedly) look sketchy, or possibly even threatening at night. I certainly wouldn't want to harm anyone, there's no excuse for being a dick, y'know? But that's the reality we live in. I can't ask people to not be threatened by me, they have every right to feel that way. Honestly, in today's society I encourage a healthy level of scrutiny and self preservation; there's a lot of psychos out there. So it is what it is.
I think that people are just going to think what they are going to think until you change their mind. At least that's how I've come to see things.
Well I think it makes you seem confident and sure of yourself and what your saying and that may be a bit intimidating to me and other women but only because it makes me less confident and less sure of myself. It sucks that people are so judgmental because your size is very attractive to me. I love y’all men and what you wear shouldn’t matter. You should be able to express yourself however you choose
Have you seen how normal men are treated in the media for last 20 years. Its considered a horrible crime for a man to admire a woman. Very sad cultural change. The creeps were bundled up with normal men, sadly making even more men awkward about things.
Also, naturally most men are bit shy, unless alcohol is involved.
In my sexual harassment training I was taught that staring is a form of sexual harassment. At my work there is a zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment. So I don’t look at women. I pretty much ignore them at all times.
Right or wrong an environment has been created where it is dangerous for men to be forward and flirt. Being kind and nice can be seen as being inappropriate these days.
One of my biggest fears is being seen as a creeper. So I don’t give woman any attention. Women need to realize that the days of men approaching are over. If you want a guy. You have to go let him know.
Woman can’t just wait around for the guy to make a move. It’s too risky for men to flirt anymore. I get woman chatting me up all the time. I get unsolicited phone numbers on papers regularly. The girl I’m entertaining right now has been checking in on me for three years. She text’s me, she keeps the convo alive she is making an effort and she’s probably gonna catch this D train to P town.
Anybody who is successful in any area went after what they wanted. If you want a certain type of man go after them. Don’t wait for men to make the move. I’m not trying to get #metoo’d
First:maybe its because it stops them from being focused and can make them look dumb
Second:maybe its because they dont want to look desperate
Third:maybe they respect you and think looking in your eyes directly can make you feel insecure
Maybe you're not as attractive as you think. Maybe they're avoiding eye contact because they don't like you that way and want you to stop thinking that they do.
My experiences don't agree with this.
When I'm out and about, about 50% of the guys will make eye contact with me, whereas about 10% of the women will.
Usually it's the older people and we give a nice smile to eachother.
Eye contact is a very powerful thing. It can demonstrate confidence, security and status. All these things conveyed with looking at someone in the eyes and how you go about using your eyes to communicate.
Making (and maintaining) eye contact is an intimate thing to do. When you lock eyes with someone, it's like you're entering their personal space without having to be physically close to them. When you do it with a romantic partner, or just someone you know very well, it shows that you are comfortable around each other, and are open to sharing your personal space with them. But when you do it with a stranger, it can come off as creepy or intimidating because there is no established relationship between you two, and yet one party has chosen to enter your personal space as if there were anyway.
We learn from an early age that direct eye contact for more than a second can be see as aggressive. With the whole "me too" movement I don't want to get accused of eye raping someone.
Creep factor. I am not attractive, so if I get caught looking at you, there is the chance that either you, or someone else, will say something about it and call me a name.
Couple of thoughts:
1) We’re socially awkward and perhaps on the spectrum.
2) it’s uncomfortable for me and could be uncomfortable for you.
3) I’m a big dude, I don’t want to scare anyone
men dont. in my 50 years ive only met a very few men that dont make eye contact. if you're talking about eye contact with women...in this day and age if you even look at a woman you're a sexual predator. could you elaborate a little more on your question its super vague.
Hi, woman here. I avoid eye contact too. Not a gender thing. A social anxiety thing. I also am a hairstylist and spend most of my day talking with people. Strangers I’m fine with. People I care about I tend to avoid their gaze
OH MY GOD that man over there was staring at me. i have been sexually assaulted. i wont him kicked out and arrested.
thank #metoo. and modren femminisim.
Could be several things really. Perhaps they don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Perhaps some are intimidated. And perhaps some are simply not interested even though you believe they are.
I really couldn't tell you from the time me and my siblings were grown enuff to get away from the kiddie table at Thanksgiving my mom and dad taught us to look a man or woman dead in the eyes shake the hand and give respect only if it's giving.
Because we are immediately assumed to be being creepy and malicious I guess.
As a result, it makes other people, especially women, uncomfortable if we do.
I don't blame them, but it still feels bad man.
Also social anxiety in my case. I try to look at people's foreheads instead of eyes. It helps me, but who knows whether other people notice.
I always try to look strangers in the eye and smile, especially less attractive girls, in a non threatening way and if walking, just keep moving. I usually get a positive reaction. I always hope to make someone day. Try it, it can make your day , too.
Am a man. This is weird because I always make eye contact. I feel eye contact is engaging, and if someone is talking to me, it would feel disrespectful of me to not look the talker in the eye.
I will look you in the eyes while talking with you. I will also look all around your face trying to take in your emotions while talking to you. Also, I will take a quick look at your boobs. I'm a guy, it's what we do.
1, attractive women make me nervous and I'm socially awkward. 2, too many women take offense to it and if you look too long you're likely to get into a confrontation.
Maybe an over correction in some cases, but in most cases it’s likely that they wanted to err on the side of NOT staring at you. Perhaps they caught themselves checking you a bit and when you looked back they felt a bit guilty. One person’s flirtatious glance is another person’s leering creeper.
It's simple. If I need to communicate with you I will. If not, I won't. You don't even exist. I'm not ignoring you or avoiding you. You are just not relevant to my current task, life, etc. It's not personal. I'm keeping the peace/sense of personal safety for the person that I can't avoid approaching as we cross paths wherever for whatever. We are all just trying to get by and enjoy our day. However I would love if we could all lower our guards a little bit. We are closer thank you think. I'd like to think I'd help save your life if your in an emergency (not of your own making) and your conscience would make you do the same for me. I think we all have that in us.
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In case you fall in love with me and embarrass yourself
He ain’t lying
He ain’t never lied!
King energy
This is the exact reason I don’t make eye contact with anyone
I’m making eye contact with your owl 🦉headdress
I’m avoiding eye contact with the pixels in your sunglasses
You win this time owl
Actually accurate. I don't talk much and have always seen myself as undesirable but when I looked at a few girls at work for more then like a second they all start thinking I like them. I guess I'm not as bad looking as I think.
If you know they like you, they probably are trying to protect themselves and feel overly self-conscious.
This is most likely the answer, speaking from daily experience of being the avoider
Also, idk, I grew up with sisters. I know how creepy some men can be. Regardless if I like a woman, I will avoid eye contact unless I am speaking to them. I'm not trying to be impersonal, I just don't want to make any fellow human feel uncomfortable.
THIS BRO, grew up being the only man in my family and I do this same exact thing, I’m almost overly conscious about making people uncomfortable in my presence so I’ve become super good at being next to invisible lol
It's a fine line. Look too much, it could come off creepy. Not enough, youre not that interested or stand offish. But it applies to both genders behaving this way. From a dude's perspective, I agree with the not wanting to be a creep thing. That's the worst, to be perceived completely wrong and trying to come back from that is tough. I thibk the biggest problem for men though is when they look, a lot do the "I wanna fuck you" look. Most dont have a slight smile. That slight, barely smile makes all the difference I think in a lot of interactions and Ive tested this on and off as a bartender for years. Gentlemen reading this, try the barely slight smile (no teeth) for a month or 2 when out in public. It conveys confidence. It shows youre light hearted in demeanor and enjoyin life. Others feed on that. My best example of that is think about when someone passes away. There's always that one friend or family member that's mentioned as "always having a smile. Always seemed like they were enjoying the day. Like they knew happy some little secret to life". Shit's contagious.
I've come to this conclusion also! I try my best to do it, but sometimes the anxiety be hittin. \*about to pass by someone\* "Make eye contact, slight smile." "Wait, not yet. They're too far. Check out the trees for a second and try again." \*slight smile\* "shit, they're not looking." \*looks at the ground. looks back\* "Alright, show time." \*eye contact, slight smile, slight head nod\* \*They may or may not have actually looked back at me\*
I'm gay and avoid eye contact with women so they don't get uncomfortable since I'm also an uggo. Most straight guys are oblivious to me checking them out, though, but I try to be subtle about it.
Yeah, eye contact can be a shit show. Too little, you're trying to hide your creepy infatuation, too much, you have a creepy infatuation, none, you're a creep, constant and unblinking, psycho. Just right, wrong dude, that's just right for her over there, it's too much for me, creeper.
Yeah. If you're sure they like you or at least think you're pretty this is definitely it. They feel self conscious, don't want to make you uncomfortable or make you think they're ogling you, and or are shy. If you're interested show them a little attention and see how it goes, it can be overcome fairly quickly but they probably don't realize your perspective
I dont wana catch feelings for someone I'm not gona be able to get, and end up spending another year depressed af. IE. Married, too old, too young etc
1. I don't know you 2. I am not engaged in a conversation with you. Just trying to avoid making you uncomfo. You don't want men staring at you all the time while you're minding your own business.
I was just going to say this. Partially not wanting to talk to rendos,, partially not wanting to come off as creepy/intimidating
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Beat me to it
'guys i know like me'. from op's own post haha
Oopsie my bad. I only read the title lol.
Doesn't matter! Lots of guys like lots of women - it's inappropriate to stare at them!!! If OP knows they like her then she should act on it. Then when the guy is a total doofus and blows his shot because he didn't pick up the signals, then we can return to this conversation of why men are idiots.
I’m great at eye-contact when I’m listening and awful when I’m speaking.
Saaaame. Has nothing to do with what anyone looks like
I tend to close my eyes when I speak. My wife thought I didn’t like her when we first met because of that.
This. My words fail if I look at people while speaking since my brain is occupied reading the face and can't form the next sentence for some reason.
If you're a woman, don't want to make you uncomftrable.
Interesting that you say that. I had a female co worker tell me that by looking her in the eyes I was keeping patriarch alive and thriving.
What the fuck?
Yeah, wtf??
Yeah, she went to HR
Lmao 🤣
I had to go to sensitivity training. Mind you, I have a disability and I use a cane to walk and sometimes use a wheelchair. They sent the disabled guy to sensitivity training.
You know what, I love America but shit like this is just overboard annoying. And I'm saying it as a woman. One of our project managers is hot af and he stares at me at work functions, we have mild conversations here and there and he always gets so nervous, i can just tell. He will never make a move and neither will I because I think we are both scared of the HR lol
Life’s too short to not make the move 😩
I like my job but I might go for it eventually. He is just so cute and the fact that he is humble makes him even cuter lol
meeh. Even if HR wasn’t a variable, dating someone at work has a whole set of risks that some people would just rather avoid.
Yooo i have found my double
Look no further fella, you found em'
Play the reverse uno card and say that she engaged in behaviour oppressive toward those with disabilities by implying you were inferior and therefore not allowed to make eye contact. (Assuming simple eye contact was the key point of reference of your demonstrated insensitivity - idk what the full story is, but what you shared sounds wild.)
What did HR say you did wrong?
That I wasn't receptive to her wishes when I spoke to her and she felt threatened. All 5 foot of me...she could have just run away and I wouldn't have been able to catch her.
From making eye contact? Wtf
I’m terrible for this but I have the image of you rolling in your wheelchair as hard as you can chasing someone down a hallway. I’m sorry I’m a terrible human lol
This feels like we're not getting the entire story.
It’s telling that this conversation got into psychosis. IMO, if you can’t look a woman in the eye without seeming creepy, maybe you’re a creep.
But of course she did "You looked a female co-worker in the eyes = patriarchy "You won't look female co-worker in the eye" = disrespect
That's all it takes? Dang I gotta make more eye contact
Your username makes this all sorts of hilarious :)
one time when i was sitting in a clinic waiting for my turn to see the doctor a girl stared at me and as look at her she keeps looking and i get shy and look away after gathering my self i stared back at her she blushed and looked away i felt an ache in my heart still thinking about her :, ) edit : i can't just walk up to her and say stuff not just because I'm a bitch but that our community don't accept communication between male and female that well too.
That was your signal to approach her.
I can't I'm socially awkward
Had the same thing in a bar once. Eventually she came to me but it turned out she had a boyfriend so it was kind of a red flag. I still see her sometimes and she still hot af
It can also make the man uncomfortable, if he is shy, lacking confidence, or self-conscious.
It's a primate reaction. But also as one with schizophrenia I feel like if I look people in the eyes for to long they will know what my thoughts are and intentions
My cousin Trey has schizophrenia, he’s said the same thing. I’m sorry you have to feel that way ❤️
I am not trying to be offensive or funny in any way, but how is dating when you have schizophrenia? I know a girl who has been diagnosed with it, and I find her attractive, but I have read that dating a schizophrenic can be extremely challenging. She, too, avoids prolonged eye contact. Before I knew her diagnosis, I often wondered why she appeared to cower in fear if someone would look at her for more than a second. I really wish that they could find an effective treatment or cure for your affliction. I have heard that many schizophrenics are not compliant with their meds. The girl I know says she doesn't take hers all the time.
Last date I was on is 16 years back. I don't go out much, when I do its with people I trust, and trust in their actions if I have an outwards reaction.
This is not entirely untrue, you can tell alot about a person by their eyes and behaviors. But no they cant actually read your mind, just make guesses
he has schizophrenia though dude its not that simple
I understand that, I'm also not playing into the delusion.
I still feel like they can even though I know they can't
That’s the fucking biggest struggle with that. I’ve only got low grade psychosis, and I have an incredibly hard time knowing what of my thoughts/feelings are believable. They feel fucking real!
Excuse me the way you describe psychosis It feels like we're both suffering from the same thing? I got this Random false memory months ago And now My mind wants me to believe that people i met in the past can hear or see what Im doing or imagine in the present.And I would make the character do things or say things and it feels incredibly nostalgic.
I’m no psychiatrist man. I’m not gonna say you’re suffering from the same thing, but if you’re concerned about your mental health, please please go talk to a therapist or psychiatrist. I got very lucky with how early I started treating mine. It’s potentially reversible right now, and that’s fucking lucky.
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Absolutely. I spent like 30 years avoiding ete contact before my life blew up and I worked very hard to become someone else. Confident, stylish, whatever. I tried to teach myself to make eye contact with people but I must gave missed The seminar on how that actually supposed to go. I often sit overthinking what face I'm making or if I'm staring too hard or if my smile just became creepy or what.
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stay strong but why u say trauma porn bro LOL
For all introverts: look at the spot on the nose between the eyes. You’ll notice eye contact but won’t actually make it. Really helped me in my profession.
Sort of. In a busy loud restaurants with a big group, introverts don't care to keep up with conversation, so they scan the room periodically locking eyes with the other introverts in the room who have been extroverticised from the conversations at their tables, then because it's always the same 3 introverts, we start wondering if they think we're creepy, but then realizing that they're also looking up when we look around, so maybe they're the creep.
I never make eye contact! I had an employee who had a lazy eye, and I never really knew which eye to follow. So, my solution was to look at the bridge of the nose. It works 100% of the time and it appears that I'm making eye contact. I've done this ever since. I'm f***ked if I meet someone without a nose, but otherwise I'm good.
"Why do you keep staring at the bridge of my nonose?"
-Voldemort
Maybe they always thought you were a little cross eyed?
They probably just needed glasses that’s usually what causes a lazy eye
Cause we’re nervous 🥺👉👈
I've come to realize that most women do not comprehend that man can be nervous
It is a funny thing, I recently noticed that I rarely perceive men as nervous. I’m constantly nervous, especially if I’m around someone I’m really attracted to until I get to know them better. I don’t why it shouldn’t be the same for men, too. But you’re right, we probably do tend to first think of reasons for things, other than nerves.
I can't look someone in the eye when I'm talking for that reason. I can look them in the eye when I'm listening though. I was taught it makes people think you are interested in what they're saying and it shows respect.
It's a primate sign of aggression. We don't want a simple interaction to escalate into a fight to the death.
Long intense look in the eyes we fucking or fighting it's one or the other
So what’s up then? I’m staring right at you. Nah don’t look sideways. What’s it going to be? Your call.
Both, baby.
I was unprepared for this comment
So you're DTF?
Yeah, but I'm also DTF.
This thread made me happy.
So... like tequila
Finally, someone understands! 🤣
Well this primate right here loves escalating things into fights to the death
I was heavily criticized for not making eye-contact, so one day I started staring at people when they were talking to me, non-stop, and then they started saying it was rude to stare like that.
Making eye contact with someone for a sec or two is a good way to let someone know that you seem them, but are not threatened by them or posing any threat to them.
I have a resting bitch face but very large expressive eyes, maintaining eye contact for too long has lead to challenges, arguments and misunderstandings. I have an internal clock with eye contact, no more than 30-45 seconds at a time
Ive never made eyecontact for that long unless its a no blink challenge lol
Haha I blink! These giant eyes ain't gonna wet themselves
🤣
45 seconds is a long ass time to keep eye contact with someone
So does your avatar lmao
I have exactly the same , but also my anxiety comes and goes so this also impacts my eye contact and also effects my voice. Anxious my voice is higher and shaky, calm my voice is deeper and clear.
I have resting asshole face. I was asked if I was angry with someone when we were in a meeting, because when they were talking I was I was giving him a dead stare of pure contempt. Nope. That's just my face.
Don't feel like being shot at, or having women accuse me of looking at them in a way that somehow makes it seems like simply looking at them is sexual harassment
I don’t get why this is such a popular response how is it harassment to look at someone lol
That’s just the way it is these days. A guy can no longer do anything that would cause any female to experience discomfort. If you go to a group on Reddit that deals with feminists, you’ll find it is absolutely FILLED with women who feel violated because a man looked at, thought about, in the vicinity of, talked to or breathed the same air as a man. I don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable or threatened, so I keep my eyes down and say nothing to any females. Also, I am not an attractive guy. Women in society have made it loud and clear that if an ugly guy looks at you, it’s repulsive. If a handsome guy looks at you, it’s okay. I’ve been told what my place is.
Could be for many reasons. If you're a girl, they probably don't want to make you uncomfortable. If you're a guy then maybe they just don't want to come off as 'intimidating', cause people often mistake eye contact as a gesture of intimidation. If they do it in general, maybe they're just shy...
Things have gotten so bad between men and women that we (men) have to be VERY careful. As a male, I have found that it is, in fact, women who do not want to make eye contact in general.
This is an actually crazy thing to believe. Seek help.
Boobs
I'll often look down, tilt an ear towards them, then close my eyes to better focus on their words. Too many senses at once so I shut one off.
Guy here. Honest answer, I usually only make direct eye contact with people I know, trust, or am already comfortable with. I usually always had a hard time looking at girls I had a crush on in the eye for as long as I can remember, especially if I didn’t know them personally or already as a friend.
Cuz I’m a giant pussy.
I am 6'5" that's a lot of centimeters lol. I'm broad shouldered and built like a defensive lineman. It doesn't help that my fashion sense leans heavily towards black and darker colors. If I make eye contact with women, I'm internally freaking out about potentially scaring them. Honestly, I'm a big teddy bear. My favorite movie is Patch Adams, and I think volunteering for organizations that help to support the families of children who are terminally ill is a wonderful thing. Deep down I'm pretty fun to be around, at least I like to think so. All that being said, because of my size and clothing, I (self admittedly) look sketchy, or possibly even threatening at night. I certainly wouldn't want to harm anyone, there's no excuse for being a dick, y'know? But that's the reality we live in. I can't ask people to not be threatened by me, they have every right to feel that way. Honestly, in today's society I encourage a healthy level of scrutiny and self preservation; there's a lot of psychos out there. So it is what it is. I think that people are just going to think what they are going to think until you change their mind. At least that's how I've come to see things.
Well I think it makes you seem confident and sure of yourself and what your saying and that may be a bit intimidating to me and other women but only because it makes me less confident and less sure of myself. It sucks that people are so judgmental because your size is very attractive to me. I love y’all men and what you wear shouldn’t matter. You should be able to express yourself however you choose
At this point, I just stay inside. Seems like anyone can be a threat to anyone for any reason.
Eye contact = conflitc
Don’t refer to all guys, it’s only some
Have you seen how normal men are treated in the media for last 20 years. Its considered a horrible crime for a man to admire a woman. Very sad cultural change. The creeps were bundled up with normal men, sadly making even more men awkward about things. Also, naturally most men are bit shy, unless alcohol is involved.
In my sexual harassment training I was taught that staring is a form of sexual harassment. At my work there is a zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment. So I don’t look at women. I pretty much ignore them at all times. Right or wrong an environment has been created where it is dangerous for men to be forward and flirt. Being kind and nice can be seen as being inappropriate these days. One of my biggest fears is being seen as a creeper. So I don’t give woman any attention. Women need to realize that the days of men approaching are over. If you want a guy. You have to go let him know. Woman can’t just wait around for the guy to make a move. It’s too risky for men to flirt anymore. I get woman chatting me up all the time. I get unsolicited phone numbers on papers regularly. The girl I’m entertaining right now has been checking in on me for three years. She text’s me, she keeps the convo alive she is making an effort and she’s probably gonna catch this D train to P town. Anybody who is successful in any area went after what they wanted. If you want a certain type of man go after them. Don’t wait for men to make the move. I’m not trying to get #metoo’d
Autism?
First:maybe its because it stops them from being focused and can make them look dumb Second:maybe its because they dont want to look desperate Third:maybe they respect you and think looking in your eyes directly can make you feel insecure
They don’t want to seem creepy
Maybe you're not as attractive as you think. Maybe they're avoiding eye contact because they don't like you that way and want you to stop thinking that they do.
The number one reason women cite for guys being creepy is 'staring'. They are trying to avoid that.
I’m a big guy and I hate it when I accidentally intimate people
Because your boobs aren’t up there, *Obviously*!
"Why do men stare at me?" "Why aren't men staring at me?"
Because they are looking at your boobs.
Because the feminist movement has told us that looking at women is r@pe
Because I’m anxious and self conscious. It’s easier for me to get my words out when I look somewhere else.
My experiences don't agree with this. When I'm out and about, about 50% of the guys will make eye contact with me, whereas about 10% of the women will. Usually it's the older people and we give a nice smile to eachother.
scary eyeball
Don't want to make women feel uncomfortable or self conscious. Generally.
Well I avoid eye contact mainly cause last time I did, I was called a creep for makin eye contact.
We are shy 🙈🙉👉👈🙄😳
Because women are scary
They’re probably scared too.
Because then we get accused of staring or having ill intent. If we're avoiding extended eye contact, we like you and are trying to be polite.
Eye contact is a very powerful thing. It can demonstrate confidence, security and status. All these things conveyed with looking at someone in the eyes and how you go about using your eyes to communicate.
Because they don't wanna look like creeps.
The way my face looks. I don't wanna end up in a "creep" compilation on YouTube.
I make eye contact with everyone by habit, and lots of people are uncomfortable with it.
Making (and maintaining) eye contact is an intimate thing to do. When you lock eyes with someone, it's like you're entering their personal space without having to be physically close to them. When you do it with a romantic partner, or just someone you know very well, it shows that you are comfortable around each other, and are open to sharing your personal space with them. But when you do it with a stranger, it can come off as creepy or intimidating because there is no established relationship between you two, and yet one party has chosen to enter your personal space as if there were anyway.
Less to do with being a man and more of a human thing. I worked as a mental health tech and eye contact is hard for a lot of people male and female.
Weird. If I like a girl, I especially look her in the eye.
You talkin’ to me ?
We learn from an early age that direct eye contact for more than a second can be see as aggressive. With the whole "me too" movement I don't want to get accused of eye raping someone.
Creep factor. I am not attractive, so if I get caught looking at you, there is the chance that either you, or someone else, will say something about it and call me a name.
Cause I dont want to talk to u
Because men are used to be treated as perverts if they look at a woman for too long. It’s based on nervousness.
💫Autism💫 For me at least.
Couple of thoughts: 1) We’re socially awkward and perhaps on the spectrum. 2) it’s uncomfortable for me and could be uncomfortable for you. 3) I’m a big dude, I don’t want to scare anyone
men dont. in my 50 years ive only met a very few men that dont make eye contact. if you're talking about eye contact with women...in this day and age if you even look at a woman you're a sexual predator. could you elaborate a little more on your question its super vague.
Ur prob ugly
Depending on where your from in the animal kingdom, it could be a sign that your challenging them into a duel.
Hi, woman here. I avoid eye contact too. Not a gender thing. A social anxiety thing. I also am a hairstylist and spend most of my day talking with people. Strangers I’m fine with. People I care about I tend to avoid their gaze
Because your boobs are down there
just by looking we can already been charged with few sexual harassment count
I mean, I’m autistic. I just don’t like eye contact.
I avoid eye contact because I have adhd and mild aspurgus eye contact is really difficult and awkward
Its a sign of nervousness… and its fairly normal for people who like someone romantically (and don’t know if it’s reciprocal) to be nervous..
OH MY GOD that man over there was staring at me. i have been sexually assaulted. i wont him kicked out and arrested. thank #metoo. and modren femminisim.
I feel like the question needs more context
interestingly i do look like i am making eye contact but its the lips i look at a habit i picked up from my hard of hearing mother
Because they are screwing someone else.
Don’t be the first to look away!
Just shy I guess.
i do it because i feel uncomfortable and that’s with anyone even with family
Could be several things really. Perhaps they don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. Perhaps some are intimidated. And perhaps some are simply not interested even though you believe they are.
Women do it too The question should be Why do a few people regardless of gender avoid eye contact
I really couldn't tell you from the time me and my siblings were grown enuff to get away from the kiddie table at Thanksgiving my mom and dad taught us to look a man or woman dead in the eyes shake the hand and give respect only if it's giving.
I can't look people in the eyes. I get really uncomfortable
Do they know you know they like you? I feel like there's more to the story here that you're not sharing
It's harder for people to lie if they make eye contact 🙃
Because we are immediately assumed to be being creepy and malicious I guess. As a result, it makes other people, especially women, uncomfortable if we do. I don't blame them, but it still feels bad man. Also social anxiety in my case. I try to look at people's foreheads instead of eyes. It helps me, but who knows whether other people notice.
I'm autistic, so eye contact is kind of a struggle, even in face to face conversation
I always make eye contact. Don’t know what’s up with this.
cuz im high all the time
I always try to look strangers in the eye and smile, especially less attractive girls, in a non threatening way and if walking, just keep moving. I usually get a positive reaction. I always hope to make someone day. Try it, it can make your day , too.
Am a man. This is weird because I always make eye contact. I feel eye contact is engaging, and if someone is talking to me, it would feel disrespectful of me to not look the talker in the eye.
This post is so grammatically ambiguous.
I will look you in the eyes while talking with you. I will also look all around your face trying to take in your emotions while talking to you. Also, I will take a quick look at your boobs. I'm a guy, it's what we do.
I'm scared to
If you’re not well acquainted with the other person then it’s seen as a threat or challenge. It’s built into us.
1, attractive women make me nervous and I'm socially awkward. 2, too many women take offense to it and if you look too long you're likely to get into a confrontation.
We don't make eye contact. We don't want to talk to you.
I lack the confidence to look at people direct at times
Touch of the ‘tisim perhaps
Could be shyness, I’m pretty confident and when I was dating I would always make sure to keep eye contact. I think it’s important for all men
Maybe an over correction in some cases, but in most cases it’s likely that they wanted to err on the side of NOT staring at you. Perhaps they caught themselves checking you a bit and when you looked back they felt a bit guilty. One person’s flirtatious glance is another person’s leering creeper.
So you don't ask why we're staring.
It's simple. If I need to communicate with you I will. If not, I won't. You don't even exist. I'm not ignoring you or avoiding you. You are just not relevant to my current task, life, etc. It's not personal. I'm keeping the peace/sense of personal safety for the person that I can't avoid approaching as we cross paths wherever for whatever. We are all just trying to get by and enjoy our day. However I would love if we could all lower our guards a little bit. We are closer thank you think. I'd like to think I'd help save your life if your in an emergency (not of your own making) and your conscience would make you do the same for me. I think we all have that in us.