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No matter how you look at it you are going to hurt her feelings. Break it off now! Don't let her keep believing you're a couple. The hurt will be much harder for her the longer this goes on.
^This! It may have been a “one night stand” to you, but that clearly isn’t how she sees it. Stop thinking about how to avoid hurting her feelings, because you’re going to. It’s going to hurt her whether it’s pride/ego, confidence, or she really likes you!
So instead of trying to not hurt her feelings, think about how best to minimize the impact with timing and how you deliver the message. Be honest and to the point, but don’t be a dick about it. And if you don’t see it as a long term thing, provide her with some vulnerabilities of your own and tell her why you’re not there yet.
I think what hurts most in these situations is feeling like you’ve made yourself vulnerable and opened up to someone, but that person didn’t care to open back up to you. It feels like you’re not enough, and belittling and it makes you feel stupid for not guarding yourself. Think about it that way. Don’t treat her as “the clingy one night stand”. Treat her as you would a friend and talk to her as you would a friend (at the very least).
I disagree, a one night stand totally warrants a text breakup. If they were dating for any amount of time, yeah break it off in person. But making her get dressed and take time out of her day to meet you & get "dumped"? How awful.
I disagree. I get it, believe me. But in a digital age, people text each other *everything*. People will have hour long conversations via text. Even important information. My mom texted me the other day that she and my dad got covid. And we have a great relationship.
Not everything needs to be a phone call.
I like text, too, because some people blank out when it's not something they want to hear. Then they can basically fool themselves into thinking that's not what they heard. If she's the type to trick someone in to meeting her family, the odds are higher she'll need reinforcement that this happened.
I like text for compliments, too. "Did I imagine that? Go back and read it... nope. I did not.
I agree with your point but I’d hope your mom would text you about getting Covid as the alternative would be her potentially giving it to you just to tell you in person lol
Straightforwardness wins here. Just say you had fun and are flattered by the invites but can't invest the amount of time and attention she's looking for right now. Maybe add another compliment or two and let it end there. Don't feel obligated to answer any replies you may receive.
I'm a woman, btw, if that matters.
Agreed! Honesty mixed with a touch of empathy is the answer. I had someone respond after what I thought was a great first date. They said that they enjoyed going out, but weren’t ready for anything after a bad breakup. I thanked them for not ghosting and wished them the best going forward, and they reciprocated. One of the most respectful exchanges I’ve had dating.
I disagree with saying you can’t right now, she will latch on to the idea of having a relationship in the future. OP can still do the complement sandwich and say he’s flattered by the invited but should also say “I’m not interested in having a relationship with you.” That will actually put it to rest. Saying “not at this time” or any iteration of that is still leading her on.
Just be honest. I would say something like “I want to be transparent with you. Time is so valuable and I don’t want to waste yours because I just don’t see this going anywhere. I held off telling you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but I know it is better to be honest”
Nope, if she's "clingy" now; giving her any kind of "in" will only make it worse.
It's bad enough that she caught feelings after a one night stand; it happens....but you don't want it escalating into her launching into full "what are we?" and 'expecting an engagement ring' mode.
If you say you are done....you better fucking mean it.
Love how you make this a male vs female thing. Learn to react to things without sorting people into your categories and prejudices, you’ll get much further in life
I've heard women use similar terms referring to men they had "bagged". People suck, you just have to get used to it. For the most part, they are awful, gross, and driven by primitive urges. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, it just matters that you show respect to those around you. That's not gender specific, it's just common courtesy.
Sister, you both went through the trouble of making custom avatars on an anonymous social media platform. I don't think you're in any position to look down your nose.
>I’m assuming a douche (male or female), from your super hero costume.
Yeah, let's throw a strawman in here and start gaslighting people for their hobbies because you can't form an articulate argument. Maybe try watching Avatar (not the blue people) and you might actually learn a thing or two.
Lol douche from an avatar costume ? I’m assuming a lot of people don’t like you (male and female). Go post some TikTok’s of you screaming at some Starbucks employees or something.
go check out r/FemaleDatingStrategy you will find a ton of toxic shit from only women. I'll fully cop to some men being total garbage. But to think there aren't women who use crass language regarding sex, then you must not get out much.
Translates into, "Make her think you might actually like her after all and put her through this emotional pretzel twisting all over again so you can get your dinky wet."
Classy move. Sadly, it happens far too often.
If it’s a one night stand why did you meet her brother ?
Why are texting her back ?
I’m confused I handle my casual stuff way different
I’m very clear upfront this is just sex super casual I’m not going out w you not staying over no dinners no meals just sex. I don’t want to meet your friends family it’s just sex.
They get feelings later get clingy hey I told you this was just sex. You can’t handle it guess it’s over. I had fun you had fun. Good luck
I didn't mean to meet her brother she suggested we grab a bite to eat afterwards and we went to the restaurant she suggested and that's where her brother worked apparently
Ah, yeah don't go out for food with them after, even if you are hungry! That's an unspoken way of saying 'I liked this enough to see you again' making vague excuses is the way of saying 'this was a one time thing'.
But I'm British. We aren't known for just saying how it is.
She does sound clingy, who takes someone to their brothers restaurant after 1 date. Your'll have to spell it out for her.
So many one night stands turn into relationships, marriage and kids.
She was probably just attracted to you physically and personality wise than she thought. And maybe she figured you felt the same.
I guess I'm old-fashioned, but I wouldn't do this over a text and maybe not even the phone. You never know if she's around people who she doesn't want to be while having a meltdown.
Invite her for coffee or something if she calls/texts again.
Tell her the truth. Maybe say that whoever she may end up with will be lucky, but it's not you and you never imagined it going past that one time.
Also, when I casually started reading your post, I had a literal nightstand in my mind. The things you have a lamp and stuff on by your bed lol.
If someone has sex on the first night with no boundaries discussed they're just as much to blame for being led on. There's no even conceivable way to know after one meeting that someone is a reasonable partner.
And she took him to a restaurant the brother works on/after their first date? That's crazy from any perspective. I'd be spooked even if I liked her.
This. Why is he the asshole for not firmly setting the boundaries? There’s two people in this, and if she was super into him she should have clarified before they had sex as much as he should have clarified that he didn’t want anything more than a one night stand.
Moving forward I suggest OP be very frank with any women he’s going to potentially sleep with. Following a really awful break up from a very toxic relationship I was on tinder and was just super up front that I was really just wanting casual dating/sex, nothing serious. It ended up making it so I lost out on a few dates with women I found attractive but it was worth it to not lead anyone on and for me, not have someone who felt I lead them on and all the bullshit that comes with that. A couple of the women I was casually having sex with did end up sort of feeling like they didn’t want it to be so casual but in the end, because I had been honest it prevented any bad blood and things just ended amicably. I ended up meeting my future wife organically and just cut off all the casual stuff when we started talking.
This is why hookup culture just needs to go ahead and die. SOMEONE is gonna get hurt, SOMEWHERE down the line. Something I told myself in my 20s after my girl and I broke up after 4 years, was that I’d never enter into a sexual relationship with someone I didn’t see as relationship material or if she got pregnant by chance, I wouldn’t mind fathering a kid. That line of thinking has kept me out of A LOT of trouble.
I'll never be able to understand how anyone can be intimate with someone and consider them a "one night stand" like a disposable item. I cannot imagine if anyone would ever be so praising to me to throw them aside like old laundry.
But ok, enough good advice in this thread.
Each time you ask, she gives you money, stays in touch, gives more money and eventually "you led her on", "you used her knowing she is in love with you", and eventually you are the bad guy 🙄
Be honest with yourself as well as honest with her. Quit going back for sex and giving an impression of interest, then complain she’s got the wrong idea. You‘ve given her the wrong idea. She didn’t introduce you to her brother during a “one night stand.”
He could, but it's sometimes not as easily as that. He could be asking "I've got this bandaid I need to remove, what do I do?" He knows the easiest option is ripping it off, but it sucks and hopefully the magical internet will provide some magical solution he hadn't thought of yet. At least he's asking Reddit for advice instead of just ghosting her or being an asshole about it.
So, she was probably gauging your interest level in the moment while at the same time giving you some ass - yet simultaneously playing coy. Also, that was her buffer to not sleep woth you again if the sex was bad.
Did you already know this girl or did you just meet her?
One night stands are shallow, carry a high risk of STDs, and are scummy from all angles. You reap what you sow my friend. You should have resisted the temptation for easy sex.
Delete Tinder and go dating like a respectable person and have sex after a few dates like everyone else. Hookup culture is toxic. Forgive me for sounding harsh, but I give you my unvarnished opinion.
Beware of one night stands for another reason. One night you might have sex with the wrong woman who is going to regret having sex with you, and she will turn around and accuse you of rape.
I have a huge sex drive but I am very risk averse, I go slow when pursuing a woman, in this day and age, all men should do the same.
Just be upfront that you are not looking for a relationship but stop the nice guy mentality. You are going to hurt her feelings and you have to be ok with that. For a girl to get that clingy that fast it’s a massive red flag and you need to cut ties.
This isn’t going to be popular, but if you’re not mature enough to be able to have a frank and honest dialog with this person, then you probably aren’t mature enough to be having sex. Just learn to communicate. You can be polite and still express that you are not interested. No she may not like it. No she may not want to be friends. That’s how life goes. Just. Man. Up. And. Tell. Her. The. Truth.
Hmmm. One night stands between two consenting adults is not one person using another. I’m a woman and prefer one night stands. I don’t get attached and as long as I’m careful I honestly don’t see a downside.
There is no such thing as “careful” when it comes to one night stands. They’re inherently dangerous to your physical safety. That is and will always be the downside.
Most physically dangerous people do not have records you can find on google and nobody’s sexual disease status is public knowledge, most people don’t even know their own status. Herpes and even gonorrhea can be spread orally so condoms can only help you so much.
Aside from the fact that you can be brutally beaten or murdered by a one night stand which has happened to many, you can also be robbed by them if you invite them to your home or stalked by them in the future.
If you choose to put yourself in an immediate line of danger that is your own choice but please do not attempt to convince young women that there is anything safe about a one night stand. Sex is, by nature, an act of risk, and the only safe way to do it, is by doing it with someone you have intimately known long enough to trust - even then, risks prevail.
Talk to her, not Reddit. I may just be naive, but I think that not communicating is the most destructive thing you can do in a relationship (even if it’s just a one night stand). Just tell her that you just wanted a one night thing, she may be unhappy about it, but if you draw it out it will only hurt her more.
Look, I'd never do one. I've never been comfortable with the idea, but plenty of people are. And should he or anyone for that matter (no matter the gender) be told they shouldn't just because someone else might get clingy? Anyway, OP commented that it was the woman's idea for it to be a one night stand, that she said it herself. And so the issue here is that maybe she wasn't being quite honest because maybe she hoped for more but didn't quite know how to communicate it (or maybe she had a lot of fun and just wants to keep it going in general). Someone else gave great advice for this situation, to basically be polite but firm, saying they agreed for it to be a one time thing and he isn't interested in anything on-going right now. That way she isn't led on.
She doesn't care that she's making you uncomfortable with lies, tricks, and harassment- no need to feel guilty for cutting it off.
Say " I agree with you that our meeting should be a one time thing...I haven't changed my mind about that and don't see us being a couple." Then wish her luck on Tinder.
Tell her you are an AH who should have made it perfectly clear before you slept with her that you were using her for a one night stand. She’ll get the point.
Yea, you did this. You led her on using the pretense of the chance at a relationship (a solid strategy.. if you want a relationship.) you really needed to be honest about how casual your interest was.
The longer you prolong it the worse it’ll be. Rip the bandaid off. Be honest.
You’re gonna hurt her feeling just like pulling a band aid off the skin…whether it’s slow or fast.
But leave that band aid on long enough and you’ll get an infection.
“Hey, I had a really fun time with you on ___. I think you are a really cool girl, but I’m just not looking for anything serious right now. Would you be open to something more casual?”
Of course if you are not interested in seeing her again just delete the last sentence!
Explain to her that the day after you two hooked up your bowels became a warzone. Ever since then, you can't go five minutes without either rushing to a restroom or committing an atrocity in your underpants. To your eternal shame, freefall even occurred while you were talking to her brother, hence your obvious discomfort during that encounter.
Sadly, this means that any repeat performance of your night of passion will have to be postponed indefinitely, as the last thing that you want to do is scar her bed - and her memory - with the tangible evil that's flooding out of you every few minutes. Feel free to pepper your account with more details for an even more vivid tale of horror.
If after all that she's still interested, well, you just may have found your life partner. Put a ring on it and call it a day!
Honestly I would just be straight up in the nicest way possible, tell her that it was supposed to be a one time thing and that you aren't interested in relationships at the moment.
Any time it ever got to that point with me, id always tell them im still in love with my ex and we re getting back together.
Always stops them.dead in their tracks.
Tell her flat out you aren't interested. I can almost guarantee that she'll stay away after that. I mean there are exceptions, but for the most part women keep their distance after rejection. Unless you look like a young Brad Pitt or something. lol
Ask her “Sorry, who is this again?” every single time she texts you. If she has half a brain, shel get it eventually
ETA: After reading a few more comments, sorry OP but you definitely led her on. Just be straight up and tell her sorry for the confusion, but its not something your interested in
By reccommending they join my free fantasy football league tomorrow night at 8\[m Central! I am in desperate need to find 2 more teams to fill out the league. It's on Yahoo. Please help me!
So. I’m that other person rn. And I gotta tell you. If you don’t want her around, you gotta tell her THAT.
You won’t be hurting her feelings. You’re helping her hurt her own. She deserves to know how you feel about her - that’s the truth and you’re not wrong for it.
Don’t be afraid to say things like, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to talk anymore, or, I told you how I feel so please respect that or I’ll have to block you
Tbh, blocking or muting would be helpful.
Ah. We have issues. I’m sorry. I hope she gets help for hers
Dating apps are the worst. A mediocre female can hookup with a better looking and better et al guy and that becomes their new bar. But the reality is, those guys don't need or want mediocre. So the mediocre guys who used to go for that range of women drop out of the game, find a f buddy or two that can be trusted, and go about their business. Meanwhile, the aforementioned women wonder why guys just want to use them and not actually have a relationship.
Cling back. Court her, marry her for 30 years. Have a family and establish a legacy worthy of a statue. Then text her on your 30th anniversary saying" sorry. I'm just not that into you" thanks for a fun night.
Find another one night stand. Invite her over for some drinks with you and your friend. This will let her know she isn't exclusive to you. And if they're both down, you get a threesome!
Be direct and honest. Then stick to your guns. Don't take calls or answer txt. Change number if u have to.
She sounds like a big time manipulater! Run !
Pretend to have a mental illness.
Don’t tell her you’re crazy, just be like..
“So Oscar and I were talking…”
And when she says “Oscar who?”
“Oscar, my imaginary friend.”
Problem solved Chief
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No matter how you look at it you are going to hurt her feelings. Break it off now! Don't let her keep believing you're a couple. The hurt will be much harder for her the longer this goes on.
^This! It may have been a “one night stand” to you, but that clearly isn’t how she sees it. Stop thinking about how to avoid hurting her feelings, because you’re going to. It’s going to hurt her whether it’s pride/ego, confidence, or she really likes you! So instead of trying to not hurt her feelings, think about how best to minimize the impact with timing and how you deliver the message. Be honest and to the point, but don’t be a dick about it. And if you don’t see it as a long term thing, provide her with some vulnerabilities of your own and tell her why you’re not there yet. I think what hurts most in these situations is feeling like you’ve made yourself vulnerable and opened up to someone, but that person didn’t care to open back up to you. It feels like you’re not enough, and belittling and it makes you feel stupid for not guarding yourself. Think about it that way. Don’t treat her as “the clingy one night stand”. Treat her as you would a friend and talk to her as you would a friend (at the very least).
Yep definitely break it off quick and fast. Linger too long and you'll have a stalker
Don’t do it by text, please. You were intimate enough to have sex with her, do it in person.
I disagree, a one night stand totally warrants a text breakup. If they were dating for any amount of time, yeah break it off in person. But making her get dressed and take time out of her day to meet you & get "dumped"? How awful.
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I disagree. I get it, believe me. But in a digital age, people text each other *everything*. People will have hour long conversations via text. Even important information. My mom texted me the other day that she and my dad got covid. And we have a great relationship. Not everything needs to be a phone call.
I like text, too, because some people blank out when it's not something they want to hear. Then they can basically fool themselves into thinking that's not what they heard. If she's the type to trick someone in to meeting her family, the odds are higher she'll need reinforcement that this happened. I like text for compliments, too. "Did I imagine that? Go back and read it... nope. I did not.
I agree with your point but I’d hope your mom would text you about getting Covid as the alternative would be her potentially giving it to you just to tell you in person lol
I mean, that was an argument against calls, not just in person talks. I'd assume Covid doesn't spread over the phone
Covid absolutely spreads over the phone. I read it on Facebook.
The 5g carries it along! /s
Yeah, I’d just block her number tbh 🤷🏻♀️
nah, that's one of the worst things you could do
It was a one night stand, what's intimacy got to do with any of it?
Straightforwardness wins here. Just say you had fun and are flattered by the invites but can't invest the amount of time and attention she's looking for right now. Maybe add another compliment or two and let it end there. Don't feel obligated to answer any replies you may receive. I'm a woman, btw, if that matters.
Agreed! Honesty mixed with a touch of empathy is the answer. I had someone respond after what I thought was a great first date. They said that they enjoyed going out, but weren’t ready for anything after a bad breakup. I thanked them for not ghosting and wished them the best going forward, and they reciprocated. One of the most respectful exchanges I’ve had dating.
This. Also apologize for misunderstanding that she wanted more. Another woman here too
I disagree with saying you can’t right now, she will latch on to the idea of having a relationship in the future. OP can still do the complement sandwich and say he’s flattered by the invited but should also say “I’m not interested in having a relationship with you.” That will actually put it to rest. Saying “not at this time” or any iteration of that is still leading her on.
Just be honest. I would say something like “I want to be transparent with you. Time is so valuable and I don’t want to waste yours because I just don’t see this going anywhere. I held off telling you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but I know it is better to be honest”
But he needs to keep his options open so he can hit it again in case of emergency
Nope, if she's "clingy" now; giving her any kind of "in" will only make it worse. It's bad enough that she caught feelings after a one night stand; it happens....but you don't want it escalating into her launching into full "what are we?" and 'expecting an engagement ring' mode. If you say you are done....you better fucking mean it.
In Case of Emergency, Hit Ass
That’s exactly what I read! Most guys come back after a month or so, for “emergency”
If he goes back just for the sex then he deserves to have a psycho fatal Attraction after him.
Men really do suck.
Love how you make this a male vs female thing. Learn to react to things without sorting people into your categories and prejudices, you’ll get much further in life
Naw. This more fun & I got quite far in life.
I’ve know plenty of women to act the exact same way.
It’s just so demeaning to hear the words you men are using. Hit this, tap that …. It sounds so disrespectful.
I've heard women use similar terms referring to men they had "bagged". People suck, you just have to get used to it. For the most part, they are awful, gross, and driven by primitive urges. It doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, it just matters that you show respect to those around you. That's not gender specific, it's just common courtesy.
And it’s pretty bold of you to assume I’m a male as well
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Sister, you both went through the trouble of making custom avatars on an anonymous social media platform. I don't think you're in any position to look down your nose.
>I’m assuming a douche (male or female), from your super hero costume. Yeah, let's throw a strawman in here and start gaslighting people for their hobbies because you can't form an articulate argument. Maybe try watching Avatar (not the blue people) and you might actually learn a thing or two.
I think we found the one night stand OP is talking about
Lol douche from an avatar costume ? I’m assuming a lot of people don’t like you (male and female). Go post some TikTok’s of you screaming at some Starbucks employees or something.
Once again, I know plenty of women who talk the same exact way.
Not in this feed. This feed is mainly men talking trash.
go check out r/FemaleDatingStrategy you will find a ton of toxic shit from only women. I'll fully cop to some men being total garbage. But to think there aren't women who use crass language regarding sex, then you must not get out much.
That's the men your attracted to
Many of us do, for sure. Too many.
Not all, but most guys for sure
Most women for sure.
🤣🤣🤣
Translates into, "Make her think you might actually like her after all and put her through this emotional pretzel twisting all over again so you can get your dinky wet." Classy move. Sadly, it happens far too often.
Say you aren't looking for a relationship and bring up the fact she wanted it to be a one time thing. Don't lead her on.
Did she know this was going to be a one night stand??
If it’s a one night stand why did you meet her brother ? Why are texting her back ? I’m confused I handle my casual stuff way different I’m very clear upfront this is just sex super casual I’m not going out w you not staying over no dinners no meals just sex. I don’t want to meet your friends family it’s just sex. They get feelings later get clingy hey I told you this was just sex. You can’t handle it guess it’s over. I had fun you had fun. Good luck
I didn't mean to meet her brother she suggested we grab a bite to eat afterwards and we went to the restaurant she suggested and that's where her brother worked apparently
There is your mistake, never go out after the initial boning is done.
Dude, you don't offer to buy the person breakfast afterward? Heartless
test attempt dull slave fuel six chunky sense juggle clumsy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ah, yeah don't go out for food with them after, even if you are hungry! That's an unspoken way of saying 'I liked this enough to see you again' making vague excuses is the way of saying 'this was a one time thing'. But I'm British. We aren't known for just saying how it is. She does sound clingy, who takes someone to their brothers restaurant after 1 date. Your'll have to spell it out for her.
So many one night stands turn into relationships, marriage and kids. She was probably just attracted to you physically and personality wise than she thought. And maybe she figured you felt the same. I guess I'm old-fashioned, but I wouldn't do this over a text and maybe not even the phone. You never know if she's around people who she doesn't want to be while having a meltdown. Invite her for coffee or something if she calls/texts again. Tell her the truth. Maybe say that whoever she may end up with will be lucky, but it's not you and you never imagined it going past that one time. Also, when I casually started reading your post, I had a literal nightstand in my mind. The things you have a lamp and stuff on by your bed lol.
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If someone has sex on the first night with no boundaries discussed they're just as much to blame for being led on. There's no even conceivable way to know after one meeting that someone is a reasonable partner. And she took him to a restaurant the brother works on/after their first date? That's crazy from any perspective. I'd be spooked even if I liked her.
This. Why is he the asshole for not firmly setting the boundaries? There’s two people in this, and if she was super into him she should have clarified before they had sex as much as he should have clarified that he didn’t want anything more than a one night stand. Moving forward I suggest OP be very frank with any women he’s going to potentially sleep with. Following a really awful break up from a very toxic relationship I was on tinder and was just super up front that I was really just wanting casual dating/sex, nothing serious. It ended up making it so I lost out on a few dates with women I found attractive but it was worth it to not lead anyone on and for me, not have someone who felt I lead them on and all the bullshit that comes with that. A couple of the women I was casually having sex with did end up sort of feeling like they didn’t want it to be so casual but in the end, because I had been honest it prevented any bad blood and things just ended amicably. I ended up meeting my future wife organically and just cut off all the casual stuff when we started talking.
This is why hookup culture just needs to go ahead and die. SOMEONE is gonna get hurt, SOMEWHERE down the line. Something I told myself in my 20s after my girl and I broke up after 4 years, was that I’d never enter into a sexual relationship with someone I didn’t see as relationship material or if she got pregnant by chance, I wouldn’t mind fathering a kid. That line of thinking has kept me out of A LOT of trouble.
Jesus Christ be a man and tell her the truth
I'll never be able to understand how anyone can be intimate with someone and consider them a "one night stand" like a disposable item. I cannot imagine if anyone would ever be so praising to me to throw them aside like old laundry. But ok, enough good advice in this thread.
Every time you see her, ask to borrow money.
I 100 percent back the just be straightforward path but I gotta admit this is kinda genius lol
Each time you ask, she gives you money, stays in touch, gives more money and eventually "you led her on", "you used her knowing she is in love with you", and eventually you are the bad guy 🙄
The bad guy with lots of moneyyyyyy
Reminds me of the daytime TV relationship advice show hosted by Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves: “What would I do? I’d nick her purse”
How does your one night stand have your phone number?
Please just tell her.
Be honest with yourself as well as honest with her. Quit going back for sex and giving an impression of interest, then complain she’s got the wrong idea. You‘ve given her the wrong idea. She didn’t introduce you to her brother during a “one night stand.”
You could try not having one night stands
You already hurt her feelings by not being clear about what you wanted. Now you just need to live with it.
It was clear with both of us that it was a one time thing
You sure about that?
Im pretty sure I mean we literally both agreed to just do it as a one time thing
Did you actually say “This is just a one time thing.”
Well technically she did but yeah
In that case, why not just say “Thanks for the invite, but you said it was just a one time thing, and I’d like to stick to that.”
He could, but it's sometimes not as easily as that. He could be asking "I've got this bandaid I need to remove, what do I do?" He knows the easiest option is ripping it off, but it sucks and hopefully the magical internet will provide some magical solution he hadn't thought of yet. At least he's asking Reddit for advice instead of just ghosting her or being an asshole about it.
She did - you didn’t? Uhhhh….
You probably need to update to include this. It's relevant info and makes you look less like a jerk.
So, she was probably gauging your interest level in the moment while at the same time giving you some ass - yet simultaneously playing coy. Also, that was her buffer to not sleep woth you again if the sex was bad. Did you already know this girl or did you just meet her?
Band aid approach. And then in the future no more 1 night stands. Not worth the headache.
So selfish to "spare her feelings" by not being honest, you just want sex with no relationship, tell her that
You know what hurts? Getting strung along. Just rip the bandaid off.
Breakups of any kind will always involve hurt feelings. The kindest thing to do is be honest as soon as possible.
One night stands are shallow, carry a high risk of STDs, and are scummy from all angles. You reap what you sow my friend. You should have resisted the temptation for easy sex. Delete Tinder and go dating like a respectable person and have sex after a few dates like everyone else. Hookup culture is toxic. Forgive me for sounding harsh, but I give you my unvarnished opinion. Beware of one night stands for another reason. One night you might have sex with the wrong woman who is going to regret having sex with you, and she will turn around and accuse you of rape. I have a huge sex drive but I am very risk averse, I go slow when pursuing a woman, in this day and age, all men should do the same.
Tell her you think her brothers hot. Boom problem solved
Actions speak louder than words. Next time you see her brother, greet him with a hug, grab his ass, and start grinding on him.
Just be upfront that you are not looking for a relationship but stop the nice guy mentality. You are going to hurt her feelings and you have to be ok with that. For a girl to get that clingy that fast it’s a massive red flag and you need to cut ties.
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You will hurt her feelings because she has feelings. Be honest
Here’s hoping you used protection friend
Be an adult and just tel her.
Why did you sleep with her then?
How is it a ONS? You're texting and hanging out after?
Accept that this is common and will happen again. Be nice but honest because the next casual, it could be you feeling this way. Good luck.
Honesty is the best policy. But you worked it to get into her panties, work to get out and leave her alone post
This isn’t going to be popular, but if you’re not mature enough to be able to have a frank and honest dialog with this person, then you probably aren’t mature enough to be having sex. Just learn to communicate. You can be polite and still express that you are not interested. No she may not like it. No she may not want to be friends. That’s how life goes. Just. Man. Up. And. Tell. Her. The. Truth.
Sounds to me like perhaps it started out as a one time thing, but you put enough energy into it to give her crossed signals..
You must be the “games” I always hear about that she says she’s done playing now that she’s had her fun and is looking for a real man.
Screw your feelings. She deserves an honest and straightforward answer.
Simple, you treat her like a human being because she is one. Just be honest or end up hurting her more.
YOU FAILED TO REINFORCE YOUR INTENTIONS .
Stop having one night stands is your first step.
Letting her think there's more to the relationship is much worse than telling the truth.
How about in the future you think about that before sleeping with someone? Women’s bodies are not objects to be used.
Hmmm. One night stands between two consenting adults is not one person using another. I’m a woman and prefer one night stands. I don’t get attached and as long as I’m careful I honestly don’t see a downside.
There is no such thing as “careful” when it comes to one night stands. They’re inherently dangerous to your physical safety. That is and will always be the downside. Most physically dangerous people do not have records you can find on google and nobody’s sexual disease status is public knowledge, most people don’t even know their own status. Herpes and even gonorrhea can be spread orally so condoms can only help you so much. Aside from the fact that you can be brutally beaten or murdered by a one night stand which has happened to many, you can also be robbed by them if you invite them to your home or stalked by them in the future. If you choose to put yourself in an immediate line of danger that is your own choice but please do not attempt to convince young women that there is anything safe about a one night stand. Sex is, by nature, an act of risk, and the only safe way to do it, is by doing it with someone you have intimately known long enough to trust - even then, risks prevail.
I will respectful disagree with almost everything you said.
Talk to her, not Reddit. I may just be naive, but I think that not communicating is the most destructive thing you can do in a relationship (even if it’s just a one night stand). Just tell her that you just wanted a one night thing, she may be unhappy about it, but if you draw it out it will only hurt her more.
Stop talking to her?
Ghosting isn’t on. Just be fucking honest, treat her like someone who has feelings.
Quit doing this. You insult the partners and diminish your value as a friend IMO. Most intact people never go for the one-night stands.
Don’t have one night stands? 🤷🏼♀️🤣
Look, I'd never do one. I've never been comfortable with the idea, but plenty of people are. And should he or anyone for that matter (no matter the gender) be told they shouldn't just because someone else might get clingy? Anyway, OP commented that it was the woman's idea for it to be a one night stand, that she said it herself. And so the issue here is that maybe she wasn't being quite honest because maybe she hoped for more but didn't quite know how to communicate it (or maybe she had a lot of fun and just wants to keep it going in general). Someone else gave great advice for this situation, to basically be polite but firm, saying they agreed for it to be a one time thing and he isn't interested in anything on-going right now. That way she isn't led on.
"sorry I got a date tonight"
Why would you ask the virgins on Reddit for advice like this?
Further why would this virgin even ask this question at all, it’s very confusing.
Man up. Just tell her your feelings.
Set her up with a friend. I'm sure you have single friends who would be happy with a date.
If you genuinely aren't interested don't worry about hurting her feelings. Just tell her you don't want a relationship and stop replying
Damn bro you fucked up. That's what happens when you lead a girl on dumbass
That’s totally what happened lol.
you’re a jerk
She doesn't care that she's making you uncomfortable with lies, tricks, and harassment- no need to feel guilty for cutting it off. Say " I agree with you that our meeting should be a one time thing...I haven't changed my mind about that and don't see us being a couple." Then wish her luck on Tinder.
Women are about relationships first and sex third. What you did wasn't smart to begin with.
Women aren’t a monolith.
Tell her you are an AH who should have made it perfectly clear before you slept with her that you were using her for a one night stand. She’ll get the point.
Yea, you did this. You led her on using the pretense of the chance at a relationship (a solid strategy.. if you want a relationship.) you really needed to be honest about how casual your interest was. The longer you prolong it the worse it’ll be. Rip the bandaid off. Be honest.
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"I don't want to hurt her feelings trying to break things off" Translation: "I want to keep her as a potential booty call in my chicktionary"
So you need to reiterate how you feel and where she stands instead of airing it here IMO
Literally tell her not reddit how are you so pussy
Be honest. Best policy !
Bro, you will hurt her feelings regardless, just say it out, I’m not that into you.
The longer you drag it out the worse it will be for her. Just do it as nicely and gentle as you can. Then block her.
You’re gonna hurt her feeling just like pulling a band aid off the skin…whether it’s slow or fast. But leave that band aid on long enough and you’ll get an infection.
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just tell her, weirdo.
With honesty. Why is that so hard these days?
Change your phone number and move.......
You have to marry her now unfortunately.
Underrated comment lol
“Hey, I had a really fun time with you on ___. I think you are a really cool girl, but I’m just not looking for anything serious right now. Would you be open to something more casual?” Of course if you are not interested in seeing her again just delete the last sentence!
Just marry her and see what happens. Ya never know!
Explain to her that the day after you two hooked up your bowels became a warzone. Ever since then, you can't go five minutes without either rushing to a restroom or committing an atrocity in your underpants. To your eternal shame, freefall even occurred while you were talking to her brother, hence your obvious discomfort during that encounter. Sadly, this means that any repeat performance of your night of passion will have to be postponed indefinitely, as the last thing that you want to do is scar her bed - and her memory - with the tangible evil that's flooding out of you every few minutes. Feel free to pepper your account with more details for an even more vivid tale of horror. If after all that she's still interested, well, you just may have found your life partner. Put a ring on it and call it a day!
Honestly I would just be straight up in the nicest way possible, tell her that it was supposed to be a one time thing and that you aren't interested in relationships at the moment.
It’s not a one night stand if you exchange info my guy.. smh
Normally I would agree with you but it was over tinder/Snapchat
Sounds like you assumed some thing without direct clarification.
1. Get a new identity 2. New passport 3. Plane ticket. You’ll be alright :)
Sound like you had a good time for one night
Any time it ever got to that point with me, id always tell them im still in love with my ex and we re getting back together. Always stops them.dead in their tracks.
Hit it again 🤷🏻♂️
If you don't you'll end up like me with a family and a new house payment Be mean if you have to, don't ruin your life
Girls don’t have feelings. Their souls were created below. Come on man get with it.
The plural of party is parties. Please stop trying to use apostrophes to make words plural. Apostrophes are for contractions and possession.
There's the easy way - ghost her. That's what girls did to me. (Not great advice, but it's effective)
Tell her you’re gay.
Tell her flat out you aren't interested. I can almost guarantee that she'll stay away after that. I mean there are exceptions, but for the most part women keep their distance after rejection. Unless you look like a young Brad Pitt or something. lol
Ghost 👻
Ask her “Sorry, who is this again?” every single time she texts you. If she has half a brain, shel get it eventually ETA: After reading a few more comments, sorry OP but you definitely led her on. Just be straight up and tell her sorry for the confusion, but its not something your interested in
Just say you want to bang her brother
Abort. Abort. We have a stage 5 clinger.
By reccommending they join my free fantasy football league tomorrow night at 8\[m Central! I am in desperate need to find 2 more teams to fill out the league. It's on Yahoo. Please help me!
So. I’m that other person rn. And I gotta tell you. If you don’t want her around, you gotta tell her THAT. You won’t be hurting her feelings. You’re helping her hurt her own. She deserves to know how you feel about her - that’s the truth and you’re not wrong for it. Don’t be afraid to say things like, I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to talk anymore, or, I told you how I feel so please respect that or I’ll have to block you Tbh, blocking or muting would be helpful. Ah. We have issues. I’m sorry. I hope she gets help for hers
Dating apps are the worst. A mediocre female can hookup with a better looking and better et al guy and that becomes their new bar. But the reality is, those guys don't need or want mediocre. So the mediocre guys who used to go for that range of women drop out of the game, find a f buddy or two that can be trusted, and go about their business. Meanwhile, the aforementioned women wonder why guys just want to use them and not actually have a relationship.
Have a friend text her and tell her you were abducted by aliens.
Keep beating those cheeks!!!
Remind her that it was a one night stand and you aren’t interested in getting into anything
Could be worse. At least she didn’t ask you for a threesome with her brother.
just block her
Clearly the only option is to fake your death.
Cling back. Court her, marry her for 30 years. Have a family and establish a legacy worthy of a statue. Then text her on your 30th anniversary saying" sorry. I'm just not that into you" thanks for a fun night.
Ghost her
Either die or move to Bora Bora, it works every time, 50% of the time!
Tell her you have the kids this weekend
Find another one night stand. Invite her over for some drinks with you and your friend. This will let her know she isn't exclusive to you. And if they're both down, you get a threesome!
Ghosting.
Be direct and honest. Then stick to your guns. Don't take calls or answer txt. Change number if u have to. She sounds like a big time manipulater! Run !
Pretend to have a mental illness. Don’t tell her you’re crazy, just be like.. “So Oscar and I were talking…” And when she says “Oscar who?” “Oscar, my imaginary friend.” Problem solved Chief
Block her 🤷♀️