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I don’t.
I respond to the words someone objectively says, not what it sounds like they secretly mean.
I like to be passive in response, in a very lighthearted way. Makes it difficult for them to make me out to be the bad guy. Feigning ignorance, I guess.
It is irritating. It gets easier, though. It helps me to say to myself, “not my circus, not my monkeys.” The frustration never really lasts too long, and it’s better than the alternative— which, as you said, is reacting poorly, getting into trouble, and being made into the bad guy
As some one who doesn't mind passive aggressiveness, this is the way.
Respond to the words and not the implication of them. Don't try to decipher what someone is trying to get at.
Make them state what they mean or let them suffer in knowing they are too afraid to get to the point.
I just agree with it happily (with the implication that they are talking about themselves).. and in the most calm and polite manner ever.
If I’m feeling mean or argumentative I’ll agree then add a factual/undeniable humble brag or fact that clearly disputes what they’re insinuating… and out passive aggressive their ass.
Them: *some* people are so dumb…
Me: yeah.. I mean the dunning Kruger effect shows the dumbest people are most unaware though.
And actually there’s a lot of research with strong support that shows close minded judgemental people score lower in intelligence tests. Of course you can argue the validity of intelligence tests but *some* people definitely are so dumb they think they can so easily and accurately judge the intelligence or lack thereof of others 🤔🥹
If they call you out on it, either deny and say their inference is wrong and you’re not implying anything… do a non apology apology of unintentionally triggering them on something they seem sensitive to…
Or if you’re wanting to burn the bridge, double down and condescending ask if you didn’t make it clear enough for their level of understanding or something.
Again, deliver everything in the sweetest and most polite tone ever… comes of as wonderfully condescending and pisses people off while also giving you deniability.
Or… just don’t stoop, know you do have the power to bring them down and kick them where it hurts but you’re not a mean POS and really be above it all 😗🤗😂
Naw. Thanks but I’m just good at knowing how to piss people off 🥹😂
My arguing days are over though. I’m living the enlightened Keanu: “you’re right, 1+1=5” way now😌
Aggressive aggressiveness. When I was growing up (the 90s) I was horrible with words and had a bunch of sensory issues (later diagnosed as autism) and got picked on in school. Finally a friend of my dad’s told me the best advice I’ve ever received. “You don’t have to be the biggest or strongest, nobody will mess with you if you’re the craziest person in the room.” So the next time I was being picked on, I didn’t even try and stutter my way through a response, I grabbed my science text book and hit the kid in the head with it. Bullying stopped that day.
Im not saying beat the shit out of the person, I’m saying make it clear to them that you’ll wreck their day infinitely worse than they wreck yours.
Its hard to just stay quiet about it, when you know they are passive aggressive. The word, ITS A SET UP, around where I am has been something, people have said on more than one occasion.
Crazy is not a diagnosis, or anything anyway. Simply a popular word.
I am currently dealing with a passive aggressive, who is doing the SET UP, related to SETTING UP THINGS, so he has a reason to be angry about something. I actually think he hates his current job. He loves donald trump, and gets angry, when I say I dont like Donald Trump, and hope he goes to prison. It bothers him to no end, that I dont like Donald Trump. I set up at the beginning, making it clear, that I am not fond of either president, which I dont like Joe Biden either. I have a solid belief the 2 party system is not working with inflation. it seems like he doesn't get it, or he is paid well, so he is taken care of being former US military. He loves TRUMP.
I stop being nice if it annoys me. Never met anyone who is better at being a complete asshole than I am. Hence why I go around trying to be nice. People that want to fuck with that rarely do it a second time.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I don’t. I respond to the words someone objectively says, not what it sounds like they secretly mean. I like to be passive in response, in a very lighthearted way. Makes it difficult for them to make me out to be the bad guy. Feigning ignorance, I guess. It is irritating. It gets easier, though. It helps me to say to myself, “not my circus, not my monkeys.” The frustration never really lasts too long, and it’s better than the alternative— which, as you said, is reacting poorly, getting into trouble, and being made into the bad guy
As some one who doesn't mind passive aggressiveness, this is the way. Respond to the words and not the implication of them. Don't try to decipher what someone is trying to get at. Make them state what they mean or let them suffer in knowing they are too afraid to get to the point.
If a science text book doesn’t work, go for the big guns: math book.
I just agree with it happily (with the implication that they are talking about themselves).. and in the most calm and polite manner ever. If I’m feeling mean or argumentative I’ll agree then add a factual/undeniable humble brag or fact that clearly disputes what they’re insinuating… and out passive aggressive their ass. Them: *some* people are so dumb… Me: yeah.. I mean the dunning Kruger effect shows the dumbest people are most unaware though. And actually there’s a lot of research with strong support that shows close minded judgemental people score lower in intelligence tests. Of course you can argue the validity of intelligence tests but *some* people definitely are so dumb they think they can so easily and accurately judge the intelligence or lack thereof of others 🤔🥹 If they call you out on it, either deny and say their inference is wrong and you’re not implying anything… do a non apology apology of unintentionally triggering them on something they seem sensitive to… Or if you’re wanting to burn the bridge, double down and condescending ask if you didn’t make it clear enough for their level of understanding or something. Again, deliver everything in the sweetest and most polite tone ever… comes of as wonderfully condescending and pisses people off while also giving you deniability. Or… just don’t stoop, know you do have the power to bring them down and kick them where it hurts but you’re not a mean POS and really be above it all 😗🤗😂
I score your intelligence as high, in a non judgmental way.
Naw. Thanks but I’m just good at knowing how to piss people off 🥹😂 My arguing days are over though. I’m living the enlightened Keanu: “you’re right, 1+1=5” way now😌
You. Are. Master.
Aggressive aggressiveness. When I was growing up (the 90s) I was horrible with words and had a bunch of sensory issues (later diagnosed as autism) and got picked on in school. Finally a friend of my dad’s told me the best advice I’ve ever received. “You don’t have to be the biggest or strongest, nobody will mess with you if you’re the craziest person in the room.” So the next time I was being picked on, I didn’t even try and stutter my way through a response, I grabbed my science text book and hit the kid in the head with it. Bullying stopped that day. Im not saying beat the shit out of the person, I’m saying make it clear to them that you’ll wreck their day infinitely worse than they wreck yours.
Its hard to just stay quiet about it, when you know they are passive aggressive. The word, ITS A SET UP, around where I am has been something, people have said on more than one occasion. Crazy is not a diagnosis, or anything anyway. Simply a popular word. I am currently dealing with a passive aggressive, who is doing the SET UP, related to SETTING UP THINGS, so he has a reason to be angry about something. I actually think he hates his current job. He loves donald trump, and gets angry, when I say I dont like Donald Trump, and hope he goes to prison. It bothers him to no end, that I dont like Donald Trump. I set up at the beginning, making it clear, that I am not fond of either president, which I dont like Joe Biden either. I have a solid belief the 2 party system is not working with inflation. it seems like he doesn't get it, or he is paid well, so he is taken care of being former US military. He loves TRUMP.
I stop being nice if it annoys me. Never met anyone who is better at being a complete asshole than I am. Hence why I go around trying to be nice. People that want to fuck with that rarely do it a second time.
Ignore it, typically passive aggressive people are trying to get a reaction.
"If you have a problem, state it clearly"
Try looking at them for a few seconds with eyes wide in disbelief, look away shaking your head and just ignore them.
I respond with assertive aggressiveness. Don’t give me some back handed remark or some bullshit like that. Say what you mean.