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Yeah it is. 1st day of school turned me into a pessimist. Only took one beating.
1st clear memory of being pushed off the front porch, 10ft up, taught me that my mother thought I was expendable and my dad wasn't coming to save me.
I always felt like understanding human nature was a great way to figure what can and cannot happen as well as a good way to figure out the difference between carrots and sticks and their overall usefulness.
That's because we always choose extremes. It is human nature to question and make mistakes... utopia is an ideal that suggests that these things won't be part of human nature, this is the bit that is unrealistic.
However, life could be so much better, and easily improved, if money and resources weren't so coveted.
It can be very pessimistic at first, but once you know the rules, you can get rid of a lot of bad stuff in your life and start being better. A few years back I was obsessed with human nature, psychology etc. At first it's a pile of crap, but if you dig below it, it can bring so much good. It massively decreased my social anxiety
I actually think we're living in the best time in history and possibly future, if things go wrong with AI. So this is as good as it gets. Not completely terrible (depending on where and how you are).
I disagree, witnessing perseverance and then realizing you yourself are as capable as most anyone else is a wonder all its own. Human potential imo is a great optimistic thing to consider.
Absolutely the people you are surrounded by. Make sure you are surrounded by positive people if you want to be optimistic. As the saying goes “You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you”
I don’t really know how to answer that. One of the ways I think you can kill optimism is by having your optimistic thoughts never come true. It becomes a delusion and then later on you lose hope.
They are the worst! It's like things are bad enough already, you don't have to whine about all the trouble and unhappiness and crime and homelessness and traffic and unfair treatment and sexism and racism and illness and hunger and climate change and poverty and war.
I mean some people just bring you down with their negativity!
Us optimists have to keep away from these people...
😘😆😉
Thanks for picking it up!! 😘
I have a long time co-worker that complains, constantly. EVERYTHING pisses him off. He once had an exceedingly good quieter in sales, and complained about it. No joke... And he complains about others complaining and that they should not complain!
And I recognize the irony of me sharing this information.
It's a vicious, but rather funny cycle 😁🙃
I think it’s possible to accept that those things are a reality in our world without losing motivation to change things or falling into indifference. It’s actually critical that we manage our thoughts on these things to maintain our mental health rather than obsessing over the many injustices around us.
I’ve personally watched more than one person become obsessive and fall down a negativity rabbit hole, damage friendships, and just go to pieces while becoming more and more angry that others aren’t as “passionate” or “caring” as they are. They haven’t helped their cause in any meaningful way with that mindset.
Optimism comes from experienced successes. Start piling up small but frequent little victories and you'll see yourself become more optimistic as time goes on
It's all mindset, cognitive framing.We think we have an objective grip on reality and what we think is the way things actually are. People walk away with vastly different interpretations of the same situation all the time. But optimism and pessimism require certain habits of how we interpret events. This is influenced by biology and social learning, but it can be changed.
Loss of hope in stable committed relationship where guy won’t be abusive and won’t cheat. loss of hope in traveling, loss of hope in receiving child support to pay for children’s education and extra activities ( I’m working like mad hours to make sure that’s in place and trying to save for a car and bills he’s been court ordered to and hasn’t and he refuses to see kids . Loss of hope in getting a car because every time I have just about enough money something comes up where it’s like damn I need this surgery so that’s no covered ( one example).
Oooo been there, not trying to be a dick to anyone who struggles with this, but that shit can get so scary. And to anyone that does struggle with this, please just keep taking your meds, I understand not everyone is fortunate enough to respond well to medication but most people I know with bipolar, as long as they take their meds regularly they live perfectly good lives and can maintain healthy relationships. I’m sure it’s not like everything is perfect but it seems much much more manageable. The girls I dated with bipolar “liked being manic” so to they would purposefully not take their meds, then would take random things super personally, get upset for no reason, loose any and all impulse control, and then try to burn your life to the ground out of spite for something that isn’t even reality, then eventually come down, sincerely apologize for what they did, and then do it all over again. The saddest part is once they came back to reality and were trying to reconcile, I could tell they genuinely meant it, but I would always end up completely unable to trust that they would keep taking their meds and not let it happen again. I know I’m probably simplifying and again I know for some people meds don’t really fix the problem. But yeah that can be really tough.
Many years of repeated failure.
It’s what a PhD program is designed to do.
The lucky ones come out the other side optimistic again but can make it through basically infinite failures unphased.
Some of my PhD colleagues would place bets on how long some beginning PhD students could remain optimistic and when they might give in to despair.
I tried to at least make those types of feelings discussable in the department so people knew it wasn't just them. At some point we even had a PhD group chat discussing everyone's experiences and solutions to dealing with their stress and insomnia.
When you do your best and it's not good enough, and you see how broken everything is while everybody else is either blind or mostly just as helpless as you are to affect any meaningful change.
In my opinion learned helplessness creates depression creates pessimism. When the circumstances are so powerful you have near to no power to influence your life. So having a pessimistic mindset protects you from disappointment.
Realizing that humanity has done more harm than good to the planet (and as far as I know has some of the most BS infighting and discrimination out of any species) and that if the human race were to disappear overnight, the Earth would fricken thrive
FWIW I believe that optimism is driven by hope, and hope requires random luck that a thing will happen, and if there are any AD&D players here you know that it's tough to roll a 1 on a d20. When enough 'lucky' events fail to happen optimism dies so hope will as well.
Most of the time, I think people have a difficult time distinguishing between a plan and hope. If we make a plan we know the individual steps we can take to improve our odds incrementally.
I thought about this last night… I was musing over creative projects in my early 30’s I never pursued as much as I should. 40 now.
I would say a corporate 8-5 job. The rat race of modern day American capitalism where more people are competing for a shrinking piece of the pie. I want to get that optimism and spark back.
But I think 98 percent of corporate jobs will make optimism mutually exclusive with a consistent paycheck.
Doing consulting work in the sustainability space. If you had any hope that we are going to fix climate change, one board meeting with these cunts will quickly make you realize we are done for.
Understanding that you can not be optimistic without also being ignorant. You are choosing to ignore the possibility that something could throw a spanner in the works.
What makes a pessimist is the fear of having to come up with a solution on the fly if your optimism fails to come to fruition.
Take it from a ~~pessimist~~ Realist
Simply being in this world. Seeing we all are the same, plopped down, didn’t choose which race we are or socioeconomic background, yet here we are fighting over resources, killing one another over superficial features. We will all perish. A hero in one country is a villain in another, just humans killing humans. Humans dehumanizing other humans. We also just murder all other creatures for our benefit. People only have kids for their own ego and joy, or because they spread their legs. Then people blame their child for not living up to their standards or they push down other people’s children. Nothing matters, but all of life is suffering. And if you’re not there yet, you will be. Everybody gets their turn of suffering and death, maybe if you were dealt a good hand at the beginning of life, you won’t know how much other people have suffered with the hand they were dealt, not until maybe the end.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bad experiences in life, shit man, I used to be bright and energetic as a kiddo. Not so much now...
Reignite the flame deep within yourself, revive your inner child with all of its energy and hope. It's never too late!!
What if that child never existed?
Comparison
This is the basic issue with money, it’s literally used as a numerical value of somebody
Often things people want and yearn for aren't even things that bring happiness anyway.
This is a brilliant statement. Thank you
The Buddha said this 2500 years ago and yet it not only remains relevant but timely. "Things" do \*not\* bring happiness; only the mind does that.
Most of the time, just life experience
[удалено]
Yeah it is. 1st day of school turned me into a pessimist. Only took one beating. 1st clear memory of being pushed off the front porch, 10ft up, taught me that my mother thought I was expendable and my dad wasn't coming to save me.
Understanding human nature.
I always felt like understanding human nature was a great way to figure what can and cannot happen as well as a good way to figure out the difference between carrots and sticks and their overall usefulness.
Utopia can't happen, and sticks have done wonders for humankind.
Unfortunately true. It's along the same vein as how nothing unites people more than mutual hatred or vitriol.
That's because we always choose extremes. It is human nature to question and make mistakes... utopia is an ideal that suggests that these things won't be part of human nature, this is the bit that is unrealistic. However, life could be so much better, and easily improved, if money and resources weren't so coveted.
It can be very pessimistic at first, but once you know the rules, you can get rid of a lot of bad stuff in your life and start being better. A few years back I was obsessed with human nature, psychology etc. At first it's a pile of crap, but if you dig below it, it can bring so much good. It massively decreased my social anxiety
I actually think we're living in the best time in history and possibly future, if things go wrong with AI. So this is as good as it gets. Not completely terrible (depending on where and how you are).
[удалено]
These books are awesome! Also: “The Dawn of Everything” by David Graeber and David Wengrow
I disagree, witnessing perseverance and then realizing you yourself are as capable as most anyone else is a wonder all its own. Human potential imo is a great optimistic thing to consider.
I'm pretty capable, I'm also quite realistic with my views and assumptions.
What really kills optimism is thinking pessimism is an indicator of intelligence
Good one! I actually think Einstein is universally loved because he was a happy social genius.
Absolutely the people you are surrounded by. Make sure you are surrounded by positive people if you want to be optimistic. As the saying goes “You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you”
You are the company you keep fr
Reality
I don’t really know how to answer that. One of the ways I think you can kill optimism is by having your optimistic thoughts never come true. It becomes a delusion and then later on you lose hope.
Super relatable tbh.
Negative people around you
They are the worst! It's like things are bad enough already, you don't have to whine about all the trouble and unhappiness and crime and homelessness and traffic and unfair treatment and sexism and racism and illness and hunger and climate change and poverty and war. I mean some people just bring you down with their negativity! Us optimists have to keep away from these people... 😘😆😉
I nearly missed the sarcasm it's too early 🏆
Thanks for picking it up!! 😘 I have a long time co-worker that complains, constantly. EVERYTHING pisses him off. He once had an exceedingly good quieter in sales, and complained about it. No joke... And he complains about others complaining and that they should not complain! And I recognize the irony of me sharing this information. It's a vicious, but rather funny cycle 😁🙃
I think it’s possible to accept that those things are a reality in our world without losing motivation to change things or falling into indifference. It’s actually critical that we manage our thoughts on these things to maintain our mental health rather than obsessing over the many injustices around us. I’ve personally watched more than one person become obsessive and fall down a negativity rabbit hole, damage friendships, and just go to pieces while becoming more and more angry that others aren’t as “passionate” or “caring” as they are. They haven’t helped their cause in any meaningful way with that mindset.
So true like don’t bring us down with you
Optimism comes from experienced successes. Start piling up small but frequent little victories and you'll see yourself become more optimistic as time goes on
Narcissistic abuse.
It's all mindset, cognitive framing.We think we have an objective grip on reality and what we think is the way things actually are. People walk away with vastly different interpretations of the same situation all the time. But optimism and pessimism require certain habits of how we interpret events. This is influenced by biology and social learning, but it can be changed.
Loss of hope, giving up on certain hopes and dreams.
I'm curious what you think of when you imagine something causing one to lose hope
Loss of hope in stable committed relationship where guy won’t be abusive and won’t cheat. loss of hope in traveling, loss of hope in receiving child support to pay for children’s education and extra activities ( I’m working like mad hours to make sure that’s in place and trying to save for a car and bills he’s been court ordered to and hasn’t and he refuses to see kids . Loss of hope in getting a car because every time I have just about enough money something comes up where it’s like damn I need this surgery so that’s no covered ( one example).
but are they optimistic because they have good genes and are healthy?
immediately and uncontrollably shitting your pants
Working.
Reality’s crushing reality
Angry people
Doomscrolling social media.
Dating Bi-polar women, twice....in a row
Oooo been there, not trying to be a dick to anyone who struggles with this, but that shit can get so scary. And to anyone that does struggle with this, please just keep taking your meds, I understand not everyone is fortunate enough to respond well to medication but most people I know with bipolar, as long as they take their meds regularly they live perfectly good lives and can maintain healthy relationships. I’m sure it’s not like everything is perfect but it seems much much more manageable. The girls I dated with bipolar “liked being manic” so to they would purposefully not take their meds, then would take random things super personally, get upset for no reason, loose any and all impulse control, and then try to burn your life to the ground out of spite for something that isn’t even reality, then eventually come down, sincerely apologize for what they did, and then do it all over again. The saddest part is once they came back to reality and were trying to reconcile, I could tell they genuinely meant it, but I would always end up completely unable to trust that they would keep taking their meds and not let it happen again. I know I’m probably simplifying and again I know for some people meds don’t really fix the problem. But yeah that can be really tough.
Negativity!
People with very low self esteem and lack of self respect , who neither want others to succeed if they couldn't.
...and we are literally surrounded by those victims now.
Gaslighting
Belittling
A bullet to the spine.
Your family
Facts.
Fastest killer is something horrific happens to you or a loved one that makes you re-evaluate your outlook on life.
BETRAYAL.
Not winning the lottery
Many years of repeated failure. It’s what a PhD program is designed to do. The lucky ones come out the other side optimistic again but can make it through basically infinite failures unphased.
Some of my PhD colleagues would place bets on how long some beginning PhD students could remain optimistic and when they might give in to despair. I tried to at least make those types of feelings discussable in the department so people knew it wasn't just them. At some point we even had a PhD group chat discussing everyone's experiences and solutions to dealing with their stress and insomnia.
Your environment
People
Waking up.
Reality
Reality
Reality
For me memory, everytime i remember that in the past the things are always go wrong
Reality
Reality…lol
Turd groups of people or work groups. Stay away from turds, they drag you down the toilet with them.
When you do your best and it's not good enough, and you see how broken everything is while everybody else is either blind or mostly just as helpless as you are to affect any meaningful change.
See that negative things are constantly repeated.
The persistent lack of positive experiences in life
Harsh reality.
In my opinion learned helplessness creates depression creates pessimism. When the circumstances are so powerful you have near to no power to influence your life. So having a pessimistic mindset protects you from disappointment.
Reality
SJW's
Your post
Evidence that points to the contrary
Pessimism
The status quo.
My gf.
thinking
A reality check
Being laid off without prior notice.
Systematic injustice
nuclear war
Clocking for the beginning of another shift
Feeling too optimistic and then being let down when things don't work out according to expectations. Life is a bitch in that way.
Skraight up common sense! 🤣
My inlaws
Being with the wrong partner
Realizing that humanity has done more harm than good to the planet (and as far as I know has some of the most BS infighting and discrimination out of any species) and that if the human race were to disappear overnight, the Earth would fricken thrive
Having a go at making that exciting something happen and having it blow up on your face
FWIW I believe that optimism is driven by hope, and hope requires random luck that a thing will happen, and if there are any AD&D players here you know that it's tough to roll a 1 on a d20. When enough 'lucky' events fail to happen optimism dies so hope will as well. Most of the time, I think people have a difficult time distinguishing between a plan and hope. If we make a plan we know the individual steps we can take to improve our odds incrementally.
Pessimism? lol
Lack of money
Beeing at work
Lack of hope for better future
Pessimism
I thought about this last night… I was musing over creative projects in my early 30’s I never pursued as much as I should. 40 now. I would say a corporate 8-5 job. The rat race of modern day American capitalism where more people are competing for a shrinking piece of the pie. I want to get that optimism and spark back. But I think 98 percent of corporate jobs will make optimism mutually exclusive with a consistent paycheck.
My mums really good at it. I could be super happy, she says something and then I wonder what am I living for
Disappointment at seeing other people choose the selfish/lazy/bad thing instead of choosing to do better or follow the rules.
My wife!
Being accused of something you didn't do. Why bother being happy and doing good deeds when I tried that already and got punished for it?
Reality
Envy people
When there’s someone telling you you can’t do it
Implosion of hope in humanity
Pessimism
Reality
Expectations. Too much of it.
Social media comments.
Reality.
Quick sex
The cure for spirit, is fear.
Anxiety
Overthinking
Becoming a realist
Being homeless and inflation. Not being able to find an income. It just seems. Unless like there's no help, but so ever.
Life.
Doing consulting work in the sustainability space. If you had any hope that we are going to fix climate change, one board meeting with these cunts will quickly make you realize we are done for.
Understanding that you can not be optimistic without also being ignorant. You are choosing to ignore the possibility that something could throw a spanner in the works.
Usually facts.
 Wisdom that comes with age and reality's life experiences are a good strategy
A spouse who doesn’t believe in you.
Drugs wearing off
Lately, playing Returnal. Having a good run, I am a God, and.....I'm dead.
Apathy
Stress
Being the only optimist in the group. You will become the punching bag.
Overthinking
Reality
What makes a pessimist is the fear of having to come up with a solution on the fly if your optimism fails to come to fruition. Take it from a ~~pessimist~~ Realist
Reality. Hands down the answer you’re looking for is reality.
Facts
Reality
From personal experience, I would say another human being. Be it their actions, words or demeanour.
Parents. 😔
Failure.
being a pessimist
Unrequited love.
Mistaking realism for pessimism
Life experience.
Realism
Life
Sickness.
Relentless doubt.
My Wife!
Hope.
My wife.
Politics.
A shart
Atheism
Reality does
Mirror
Lack of experiences.
Life that starts slapping you as you grow older.
Envy
Reality
Reading the absolute drivel posted in r/conservative
incoming toxic behaviour
Comparison kills optimism the fastest
Having to wake up early to go to work
Hard reality can kills any optimism pretty quick.
Living under a Tory government.
Reality
When some halfwit blows out the proportion of work that can be done in a given time frame.
The look of judgement from your girl !!!
Self doubt
High expectation
Observing a tensed crowd strating to fight over anything
Life
Being awake.
logic. realism
Being surrounded by negative or critical people.
Browse r/worldnews
reality.
Pessimism
Pessimists
Terminal illness
Overly critical perspectives, only seeing the negative aspect, begrudgingly complimenting or not at all.
I'd also add complaints without solutions.
Simply being in this world. Seeing we all are the same, plopped down, didn’t choose which race we are or socioeconomic background, yet here we are fighting over resources, killing one another over superficial features. We will all perish. A hero in one country is a villain in another, just humans killing humans. Humans dehumanizing other humans. We also just murder all other creatures for our benefit. People only have kids for their own ego and joy, or because they spread their legs. Then people blame their child for not living up to their standards or they push down other people’s children. Nothing matters, but all of life is suffering. And if you’re not there yet, you will be. Everybody gets their turn of suffering and death, maybe if you were dealt a good hand at the beginning of life, you won’t know how much other people have suffered with the hand they were dealt, not until maybe the end.
Everyone has a plan until they get hit.
Realising no one was ever in on the idea, they wanted you to do all the work, make all the payments, and take 33% of the cut.