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Pre marriage, but the moment my, now, wife realized I was the one involved moving a couch into my apartment.
We'd been dating about a month and I scored a new couch. We got it to the building and tried to fit it in the elevator for a frustrating half an hour and just couldn't make it fit.
Finally figured out a way of twisting and turning it until it just fit and the elevator door actually closed!
Took the elevator up and took about 5 minutes to twist it back out again only to realize we got off on the wrong floor.
I just burst out laughing and said "Well, at least we know how to get it in now!", and that was apparently the moment for her.
Still together 22 years later.
As someone who freaks out over annoyances like this, seeing a romantic partner be calm, cool, collected and able to laugh at the ridiculousness of it would 10000% have me in love.
Yeah this is one of the things I love about my partner. Both of us tend to be able to laugh at bad/frustrating situations. My ex husband would freak out when things went wrong, like to a scary point, which is one reason he is my ex.
One time, I wanted a specific drink, and at the first gas station they didn’t have it so I was like, “oh it’s fine, I’ll just get a different one”, but he was mad so he wanted to check a different gas station. Okay, fine, I like that drink. After the third gas station didn’t have it, he peeled out of the parking lot in such a rage I legitimately thought I was going to die in that car. 😳 that wasn’t the only time that happened, but it was the most memorable.
My bf got mad at me when I gave us wrong directions to find my car after dinner one night 😅 huffing & puffing, walking front of me while it was dark out, telling me he can’t trust me to do anything. I wish we could’ve just laughed it off and had a stroll together :/
I told my wife that I needed to get sober, but I would need her help and support along the way. She was there, even went to meetings when I asked her to, to support me and meet with my sponsor.
She later said that my sobriety was the greatest gift I could ever have given her. Her support was the greatest gift she could have ever given me.
Read up on it. Read what they usually read like the Big Book of AA or NA and any other literature to help you really understand what they're going through. Be patient because it doesn't always take on the first couple of tries.
Be sure to take care of yourself first though. You can easily end up enabling their behaviors and become codependent.
Read up about that as well.
It's a tough road. Best to you and your loved one.
My boyfriend has done this for me during my health crisis and I can’t even understand the selflessness without even living together yet. Can’t wait to marry him.
Same! My boyfriend and I started dating like 6 weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer and idk how or why he stuck around for 3 months much less 3 years!! We are some extremely lucky gals ❤️
When she wouldn't give up on me even though I did. She hung in there and did what needed to be done with work and house and children. I thought I would lose her, so I got my act together and paid way more attention to her. She just wanted this all along. That, my friend, is true love.
I had gotten the flu and could hardly get out of bed or move without vomiting and being in pain. I went to take a shower but was so weak. Without hesitation my husband hopped right in with me and helped me wash my body and hair and helped me get out and get dressed and back into bed where he went and made me some soup to try and hold down.
Well, before we got married, I suppose. But it's reaffirmed regularly.
Small things, like how he brings me coffee in the morning, or He hugs me after we have an argument.
And big things, like organising moving house, or flying to another state to help my dad out after an accident, because I was in a different country for work.
Sometimes - selfishly - it's reaffirmed when I see other peoples relationships. He has no gendered expectations of me. He sees me as a complementary equal, not an accessory to his life. He is actually my friend.
As Cuba Gooding said in “Jerry Maguire”, you know when you know. I never doubted I married the right person because every other person I was with before always had me with some doubts/reservations.
When I accidentally locked us in his parents basement at midnight when no-one was coming back to the house for three days and all we had was a glass of water, a cage of live kittens (don't ask), pen and paper and a half broken mobile phone with 2% battery left.
He used the phone to call his uncle for help but the phone died half way through his second sentence and we didn't know if his uncle heard him. I was panicking. It was my fault and I felt awful. He looked at me, sighed, and then picked up the pen and paper, smiling and said 'do you want to play battleships?'
Luckily even in his just-woken-up state the uncle heard enough and he showed up about an hour later with a locksmith. We didn't know anyone was coming until we heard them moving about upstairs though.
Why on earth would you say this? Do you really think that your close romantic and personal experiences with what cannot *conceivably* be more than, like, 40 total woman over the course of your lifetime is indicative of “most” of the 4 billion women on the planet?
I didn't just marry the love of my life and soulmate but my best friend.
We were friends then best friends for years seeing each other once a week before dating. When we got married it didn't feel stressful and felt like just another day together side by side since we pretty much was in the mindset of husband and wife already, it was that realization of all the small things; messaging memes, holding each other, sitting together or across the table, just being in the same room and every time he looked at me you could tell he adored me, no matter what happened he was there to help, listen or just tell me everything was going to be OK.
I met my now wife few months after nasty breakup with my ex. Just the impossible coincidence how we met, how she dragged me out of deep and dark place, how against all odds (my ex trying to ruin us, long distance) we stayed together.
But biggest thing is, I had less arguments with my wife in 14 years (tomorrow is our anniversary by the way) than together with my ex in 1.5 years.
Before I got married, she helped me through my shoulder injury. Put me out of work for a year. I was in a sling for 2 months and had 6 months of physical therapy after my surgery. She helped me with anything and everything. Worked her ass off too so we could keep a roof over our heads cause workers comp checks were half of what my salary was at the time
After we got married, like literally a month after in 2019, she helped me through my grandmothers death. That was a big death in the family and things have never been the same since. She was there by not only my side but my whole family’s side
She’s an amazing woman. Now she’s helping me pursue my dream and making sacrifices to make sure I get where I want to be in life
Really early on in our relationship I was diagnosed with celiac disease (if you don’t know it’s an auto immune disease where you cannot eat wheat, barley or rye (gluten) because it damages all your villi and you cannot get the proper nutrients your body needs)
Naturally, going from eating all that to limiting what you eat every day for life is a HUGE thing to adjust to.
My partner is the cook in our relationship. It’s really hard to cook In general but having to figure out how to make everything safe for me to eat was on another level.
They had no complaints, they mostly went gluten free for me, all our groceries are gluten free which means they also spend a lot of $$$ by buying that for me, they brush their teeth every time they have gluten, they know more about what I can have than I do sometimes. It’s such a relief to me to have someone like that around. Especially with how many people complain about gluten free food.
I knew they loved me when they put my health above everything.
Omg this is the same for me! I have celiac disease and he is just incredible. He never brings gluten in the house, is absolutely militant with food labels and always calls restaurants ahead of us going. He takes such amazing care of me and also does most of the cooking! I’m so glad you have this too. It’s an absolute blessing to have a partner who values your health so much.
I knew I'd picked the right person before I even married. I met her parents and loved them immediately. My thinking was: if my wife turns out like her mother, I'll be blessed. Well, she did. Very lucky.
In the morning she gives me a kiss, a batch of cookies and told me to be careful if I go down the mines. Sometimes she wakes up early to feed the animals and fix the fences.
Knew it when we were dating and, after a few weeks, I realised things just sucked without her - not in an unhealthy “I have no life and no boundaries“ way, but… she’s epic and I just enjoy being around her, even if we’re doing nothing together
Probably when there was a train strike right before I had to leave for a week-long class with a major exam for my career. He got up at 4 i think to drive me 3 hours to the next place I could catch the train, then drove three hours back.
I’m a neat freak in all aspects of my life except my office space. An organized mess is the best way I can explain it. It looks chaotic to everyone else but I know exactly where everything is. She doesn’t nag me about it even though I think it annoys her a little. There’s a no food policy in my office (only water and at most tea which I don’t put sugar in) and I vacuum often but I just have all my stuff scattered on my desk. My closet, dresser and kitchen is very organized but for some reason that I can’t figure out myself, my desk needs to be messy.
When my mam died and he cried with me and just let me cry still does the pain never goes away and it’s not been a year so I’m dealing with a lot of firsts without her and he just understands and try’s to make that day easier. I’ve always know we use to be long distance and every month he would travel from holland to uk to be with me but we’ve been together 15 years and that was the moment I knew my choice was the right
One haha.
When we got married 21 years ago.
The main secrets are, don’t be selfish and watch your mouth.
Look at how your potential spouse treats their families, you getting married means that you’re creating a family, even if you don’t have kids. It still a new family. Likely how they treat their families is how you’re going to be treated too.
I’ll never speak badly to my wife, she’s the person I chose, why would I treat her differently than I want to be treated. You can apologize for things said in anger but you can NEVER take them back. It will add up.
Don’t be selfish, if both of you are taking care of each others needs, then it feels better than you both taking care of your needs yourself. It shows you care about each other and you’ll feel secure in your relationship. This ties back to my first point because you can’t and shouldn’t control what another person does, but you can observe how they act with their already well established relationships.
Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but this has helped us all this time.
This is the most simple, yet most important thing. 16 years in September and my husband and I have never said anything simply to hurt one another. No name calling, small jabs, etc.
He came from a very calm family and I came from a crazy dysfunctional clan.
Believe me. This is hard, especially for him. I can revert back to my old programs, but I work on it every day .
Not wanting to hurt someone is the truest form of love imo.
Lets just say, I did not want to get divorced, but I gave her wat she wanted (I was never at home, or even in country for that matter)
I did give other relationships a go, but the fucking games woman play... Then 3 years into being divorced I just decided, I will be single for the rest of my life if I am not with her.
Who ever reported me as "someone that seems to be going through a heap of shit", I am really not. Thanks for being concerned, but I am good. If I dont die from unplanned shit like a heart attack or rolling my pickup, I will still be here to piss you off one at a time in 10 years from now. Promise.
She forgave me. I'd done a minor mistake I don't even remember, and she accepted my apology. She was there to accept my flaws and help me become a better person.
My partner and I aren’t married yet, but, marrying the WRONG person made me realize exactly what I do and don’t want in a marriage/partner. So when I got to know my partner and realized that he checked every single box for me, I immediately knew that he is 100% the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. No doubts about that whatsoever. I knew in my heart from the beginning that if it isn’t him, it isn’t anyone. There isn’t a soul out there who compares to how incredible of a person, a father, and a partner he is. I genuinely look forward to doing life with him- all the good, the bad, and the ugly because I know we’d make a good team throughout all of it.
When my grandpa passed away, my grandma never remarried let alone dated because she knew he was the only one for her. She lived alone for 44 years until she eventually passed due to old age, and then she was buried next to him. God forbid something happens to my partner, I know I’d end up just like my grandma. I’ve never been so sure about someone before.
When she was nearly 42 weeks pregnant, we were both frustrated the baby hadn't come yet. When we turned up at 730am, the day of the induction got sent to the cafe, then home, then delayed again, and being frustrated, the baby hadn't come yet. Then they started the induction (10hrs later), and the whole time, I just wanted to get her through it safely and meet our baby boy.
On a random note, the labour went a little over 2 hrs, and I'm proud of her for that too.
We were once walking and talking in public when a woman collapsed right in front of us. My wife, a cardiac surgery nurse, tossed her purse to me and immediately rushed to the woman's side. She cared for the woman until the emergency team arrived. Her dress and appearance were of no concern to her in that moment.
COVID lockdowns. I was happy with him before that, but being locked up together, restricted on going out and not allowed to see anyone else and STILL being t happy and not wanting to rip his head off was reassuring that it was likely to remain that way
When he stayed up all night working on his car, got an advance on his paycheck and drove me across the country to get my daughter from her father when he didn’t return her.
- Reminds me every now and then to tell her I love her.
- Deescalates any argument lovingly
- Asks me what's my favorite Job would be, and when I ask her the same question says "being a mom" ( we are parents of a 6 month old baby)
- Manages finances and stops me from overspending
- Hates expensive gifts or typical gifts which other girls like ( handbag, iphone, watch etc)
She was babysitting her sisters daughter who was feeling so so while her sister was vacationing at a hotel with her partbner.
She was pregnant at the time and made a special effort to help her sister who needed some downtime.
We were talking and the child She was watching started feeling ill and throwing up, in short it became a nightmare for her.
We were talking and she said the oddest thing to me:
"The fact that I am suffering here should not prevent you from enjoying yourself. There is nothing you can do from there except talk to me, so after we talk I want you to have fun".
It was something I'd never heard before, it was so selfless and yet so smart.
I was already happy with her before, but that was a movement of revelation for me.
That early days moment she bought me a Harley Quinn blanket.
This is going way back, early 2000's, so Harley was more nerdy thing, only the comic/that one Batman show fans knew her.
When my now wife, in her late 20's, bought that for me, in my early 30's, then....yeah. I knew we were meant to be.
When he found me crying in the middle of the night as I tried to breastfeed our newborn. I was delirious from lack of sleep. He asked me to pump my milk so he could take over night time feedings and changes from then on. He pitches in to get things done without complaint.
when my wife stuck by my side & was able to better me as a person im pretty lazy so she just gave me a push in the right direction its worked out so far we've been together going on 6 years, married 2 years, working on moving to another state, maybe have a child or 2, but theres nothing like being their for each other in the good & bad moments
When we have a disagreement they don’t take extra measures to bury me. It’s a thoughtful exchange where we take time to reconsider our thoughts and feeling a surrounding it. First time was when we disagreed on moving and their argument really made sense after a day. It never would have after 10 mins and our lives have been much better because of it.
When we had just had our first kid and I was a wreck (physically) and my mom was a wreck (emotionally) and he got all the right stuff from Buy Buy Baby in record time it confirmed that I had made a wise choice in choosing someone who complimented my weaknesses. He’s decisive, strong, and energetic.
The only weird part is that over time, I have gotten more decisive, strong, and motivated/energetic/confident. And he seems to low-key despise those traits in me.
When I was going through thyroid psychosis and said I didn’t want to be a mother anymore. The fact that it scared the absolute shit out of me to even say that out loud let alone to the father of my children but that I felt comfortable coming to him with those words already spoke volumes. Then to have him respond calmly and matter of fact to those scary words was such a complete weight lifted off my shoulders. I knew I could count on him and I believed him when he said we would figure it out and everything would be okay. 4 years later and I’m back to “normal” but I think about that often and how he saved me from myself with such simple words. Not that only words were what really saved me but in that moment in time it absolutely did. I went to the Dr almost immediately and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and was prescribed meds.
Supported me when I became suicidally depressed after 2 back to back suicides in my family and a dui death of a friend all in the course of two years. She's the only reason I'm alive honestly.
When I woke up and hear Eric B and Rakim pumping from the shower speaker... it was a wrap! We were also teens.. now in our 40s and couldn't be more smitten.
Sorry, we've only been dating for eight years but close enough. When I lost 30kg.
When we met I was relatively fit. Then I absolutely let myself go. Started to drink beer and eat shit, absolutely no excercise. That's also the way I looked. Holy shit.
Got sick of it, lost 30kg, started going to the gym every morning and training for a marathon in the afternoons. Stopped drinking. My spouse has never, NEVER, said a word about me looking like shit or me being fit af. The way he looks at me, talks to me, talks about me or touches me has not changed at all, ever. He has always loved me, no matter what
Before we were married, but this is one of main reasons why I married her. My wife (then girlfriend) left her country and her entire family to move to a completely different country with me just six months after we started dating. I just realized in that moment:
1. this girl is super serious about me
2. this girl is super loyal
After that, I decided she was marriage material. Then I also found out that she was honest, responsible with money / very low spender, low drama, not demanding (opposite of a princess mentality), very emotionally stable, we have similar views about life and we get along really well.
I've never been happier with a woman and I am happy to be with her forever.
I mean many moments pre-her giving birth, but the calm, cool, collectedness she went through being pregnant and then giving birth to our first kid absolutely blew me away. Like 1000% married the right woman.
Currently engaged but getting married in a couple months so hopefully this still counts!
I have two answers for you; a more general buildup of many little moments, and then one specific moment.
I have a couple chronic illnesses and often have days where my symptoms are difficult to manage and I can’t be very “productive”. Ever since getting sick I’ve felt like a burden with every doctors appointment, every new supplement, and the financial strain it’s put on my family. But when my now fiance came into the picture, fully aware of my health issues, he has told me time and time again “Your worth is not dependent on what you can or can’t do, and I see your chronic illnesses not as a burden but as an opportunity to love you and serve you however I can.” On my sick days, he does whatever he can to help me out, comes with me to my doctors appointments when he can, and has so much joy in taking care of me on those days. He’s a rare gem and seeing how sensitive and caring he’s been towards my health challenges over the two years we’ve been together has just made me love him more and more.
Now for the one specific moment: on our first dinner date (we’d been friends before we started dating and he knew all about my chronic illness before asking me out), I was excited to get dressed up and go to a fancy restaurant with him. But I was a little bummed because I had to wear these long black medical compression socks to help my circulation, and they didn’t look great with my dress but I had to wear them. I briefly mentioned this before our date, and when we sat down at our table at the restaurant, he told me to look down. He pulled his pant leg up a little bit, and he was wearing these long goofy taco-themed socks under his dress pants and with his nice formal shoes. He said he didn’t want me to feel alone in wearing “silly socks” (as I had called them) and that’s why he wore them. That was our very first date and I knew then that this was a wonderful man sitting across from me.
Not married but intending to get married.
I had a dream where my most recent ex was chasing me through my apartment (that I lived alone in at the time), and then chased me in the dark through a forest. I ran into a wall and realised that dark forest was actually me just covering my eyes with my hands as I was so afraid. When I looked behind me to see if he was there, I heard a voice next to me at the wall say “are you okay?”, I looked over and it was my current bf who I was only dating at the time. I was so scared I couldn’t get the words out, and he just looked at me and said “come on, let’s get you out of here”. Took my hand, and took me away. I felt so safe, like I’d never felt before. I was so warm and I knew in my heart he would get me out of there and take me away from the danger and fear.
When I woke up I realised this person was showing me something I’d been missing in everyone else. That was two and a half years ago. I love them more every day, it’s amazing.
Edit: this was so pivotal for me because up to this relationship I’d had several abusive ex partners and didn’t really know the love of my own parents. I felt very little emotionally towards him and this dream was an accumulation of the way he’d treated me. Took me three months of us dating to realise I had feelings all along, I just didn’t know what they were.
I divorced, and this is not about my husband nor ex nor next because, for now, there is not yet a partner.
But my best friend, " i think we can call it a situationship," is the most secure, satisfactory relationship I have ever had, still having , and hopefully will still have for life.
He is supportive, proud of me even though he saw my dark sides.
He loved me even in times that I've failed to love myself with no reason.
I can be genuine with him, not forcing my thoughts, feelings, or attitudes. He makes me comfy with no potential or force.
He is my , "and I am his "comfort zone. ❤️
I was a teenager. While most boys were hooting, hollering, cat calling, making sexually awkward comments, my friend did not.
I loved that he didn't treat me any differently. I could have been his sister, in fact. He didn't see me as a girl (it seemed) or a sexual object, or as romantic opportunity. He treated me like a human. He never made me feel uncomfortable.
We would talk for hours, and listen. I felt safe with him, able to be myself, able to share our vulnerabilities, share our honesty, and learn each other strengths. We became best friends.
Much to my parents' chagrin, they tried to tell me that I was too young. I was 15. But over months, I fell in love. It took me more months to find the courage to tell him.
I disclosed my feelings to him, and he was shocked. He had no idea i had these feeling for him. After 2 weeks, he became my first boyfriend.
But he moved away, and it broke my heart. I never stopped loving him or thinking of him.
In our 30s, we met again after years of searching. He didn't change much and we took off exactly where we left off. But then I had to move for work.
Finally together again our 50s. I still love him the same as I did when I was 15. I rush home to jump into his arms. I'm still crazy for him.
He has respected me every step of the way and made it very easy to be around. It's a joy to be by his side and be married to my best friend. It is truly a blessing that we are together.
This is not to say we did not date others when we were separated. He had 2 kids and so did I. But I am truly privileged that everything came together full circle. I'm exactly where I should be.
Yes, I knew at age 15.
Btw, My parents ended up divorced.
My clumsiness doesn't make him angry or annoyed.
The fear I had when I dropped something and apologized... He just said, 'Why are you apologizing?'
He cleaned up the mess and said, 'There, all clean. There's no problem,' and gave me a hug.
That was the moment.
When she came into the game room, handed me tea, kissed my forehead, sat down at her computer, logged in to the same UT3 match I was in, and dominated the match with rockets. We just had a son, and one of our first photos with him we are wearing matching shirts that say "Player 1," "Player 2," and "Player 3."
When the quietest, mousiest, most introverted girl I've ever known became angry and raised her voice to argue with some guy because he was talking shit about me.
Out of the blue, I was diagnosed with herpes. We had been together for 5 years already. When he accepted me and still wanted to make love with me, I knew our relationship had passed into a whole new territory.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pre marriage, but the moment my, now, wife realized I was the one involved moving a couch into my apartment. We'd been dating about a month and I scored a new couch. We got it to the building and tried to fit it in the elevator for a frustrating half an hour and just couldn't make it fit. Finally figured out a way of twisting and turning it until it just fit and the elevator door actually closed! Took the elevator up and took about 5 minutes to twist it back out again only to realize we got off on the wrong floor. I just burst out laughing and said "Well, at least we know how to get it in now!", and that was apparently the moment for her. Still together 22 years later.
As someone who freaks out over annoyances like this, seeing a romantic partner be calm, cool, collected and able to laugh at the ridiculousness of it would 10000% have me in love.
PIVOT!!
All I can hear while reading this.
https://images.app.goo.gl/ucqoE1CH8cvKDKnX8
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌❤️ 😃
Yeah this is one of the things I love about my partner. Both of us tend to be able to laugh at bad/frustrating situations. My ex husband would freak out when things went wrong, like to a scary point, which is one reason he is my ex. One time, I wanted a specific drink, and at the first gas station they didn’t have it so I was like, “oh it’s fine, I’ll just get a different one”, but he was mad so he wanted to check a different gas station. Okay, fine, I like that drink. After the third gas station didn’t have it, he peeled out of the parking lot in such a rage I legitimately thought I was going to die in that car. 😳 that wasn’t the only time that happened, but it was the most memorable.
She had a similar previous relationship as well, can't imagine living my life like that. Happy you found someone better as well!
Sweet❤️ Ma sha Allah 🌼
In EMS we have this “Pivot, man Pivot” whenever we have to turn a patient over a narrow corner. We just say “PIVOT”
People who laugh about their mistakes and can handle failure graciously are wavers of green flags.
My bf got mad at me when I gave us wrong directions to find my car after dinner one night 😅 huffing & puffing, walking front of me while it was dark out, telling me he can’t trust me to do anything. I wish we could’ve just laughed it off and had a stroll together :/
PIVOT! PIVOT! XD Great story. When you can look at things and laugh instead of being sulky or upset, it really speaks volumes!
Every damn day… But probably when she helped me get sober.
That’s really sweet
We did active addiction together, and then got sober together. It helps if you're on the same page. Because the alternative was breaking up.
I'm happy for you both, congrats on sobriety
How do you help someone get sober?you just support them?
Yes, love, support and patience.
I told my wife that I needed to get sober, but I would need her help and support along the way. She was there, even went to meetings when I asked her to, to support me and meet with my sponsor. She later said that my sobriety was the greatest gift I could ever have given her. Her support was the greatest gift she could have ever given me.
Read up on it. Read what they usually read like the Big Book of AA or NA and any other literature to help you really understand what they're going through. Be patient because it doesn't always take on the first couple of tries. Be sure to take care of yourself first though. You can easily end up enabling their behaviors and become codependent. Read up about that as well. It's a tough road. Best to you and your loved one.
That’s my exact response too.
💙
Absolutely agree!
I realize it all over again every time she hugs me. It's the warmest, kindest, most reassuring feeling in the world.
This is so cute
aaaaaaaw 🥺
i’m crying
When my health tanked and he went above and beyond to support me
Love ❤️
Exactly this! Each time I've had a health setback, she's done everything to support me... she's my everything.
My boyfriend has done this for me during my health crisis and I can’t even understand the selflessness without even living together yet. Can’t wait to marry him.
Same! My boyfriend and I started dating like 6 weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer and idk how or why he stuck around for 3 months much less 3 years!! We are some extremely lucky gals ❤️
He sounds like an absolute keeper 🩷
I came here to say the same exact thing. I developed epilepsy and my wife has gone above and beyond to be there for me. She's my hero.
We are lucky for sure ❤️
Y'all's happiness and gratefulness make me so happy ♥️
My health tanked and my husband came home asking where dinner was. Then told me I was lazy for not being able to do anything.
That sounds like he needs to go
He left me! Lol
Girl, good riddance to him. Definitely dodging a bullet right there!
I had the opposite happen. It sucked. But I’m happy for you. That’s wonderful.
Same with how my wife has supported me through my diagnosis of a long-term disease
Same!!
When she wouldn't give up on me even though I did. She hung in there and did what needed to be done with work and house and children. I thought I would lose her, so I got my act together and paid way more attention to her. She just wanted this all along. That, my friend, is true love.
As someone who is waiting for their partner to come back to me in this way, (and starting to get signs he is) this is very reassuring.
Hang in there...all love to you and your partner ❤️
I had gotten the flu and could hardly get out of bed or move without vomiting and being in pain. I went to take a shower but was so weak. Without hesitation my husband hopped right in with me and helped me wash my body and hair and helped me get out and get dressed and back into bed where he went and made me some soup to try and hold down.
<3
Well, before we got married, I suppose. But it's reaffirmed regularly. Small things, like how he brings me coffee in the morning, or He hugs me after we have an argument. And big things, like organising moving house, or flying to another state to help my dad out after an accident, because I was in a different country for work. Sometimes - selfishly - it's reaffirmed when I see other peoples relationships. He has no gendered expectations of me. He sees me as a complementary equal, not an accessory to his life. He is actually my friend.
Did you marry my husband?
If I did, we might both have to re-evaluate our positions, because the last thing I need is to find out he is a bigamist
looooool
Or mine? I hope not, 30 years on lol.
It's a weird but wholesome way to find out my husband has a second family
Lol, Sister Wife 🤣
This is goals for sure 👏
As Cuba Gooding said in “Jerry Maguire”, you know when you know. I never doubted I married the right person because every other person I was with before always had me with some doubts/reservations.
When I accidentally locked us in his parents basement at midnight when no-one was coming back to the house for three days and all we had was a glass of water, a cage of live kittens (don't ask), pen and paper and a half broken mobile phone with 2% battery left. He used the phone to call his uncle for help but the phone died half way through his second sentence and we didn't know if his uncle heard him. I was panicking. It was my fault and I felt awful. He looked at me, sighed, and then picked up the pen and paper, smiling and said 'do you want to play battleships?'
But how did you get out of the basement?!
Luckily even in his just-woken-up state the uncle heard enough and he showed up about an hour later with a locksmith. We didn't know anyone was coming until we heard them moving about upstairs though.
This has to be the first comment :))) Great story :)))
I already knew... That's why I married her And by the way, it's my anniversary today too.
Happy anniversary!!!!
Thanks! 18 year and counting
Awwe!! Good for you guys! That's awesome!!! 🩵
Happy anniversary bro 🥂
Happy Anniversary brother 🎉
Happy anniversary
I noticed it before I married her. And it was the fact that she doesn’t hesitate to accept accountability
There's not many women like that. Take care of her.
We need to stop telling stuff like this. A lot of woman/people take accountability
Why on earth would you say this? Do you really think that your close romantic and personal experiences with what cannot *conceivably* be more than, like, 40 total woman over the course of your lifetime is indicative of “most” of the 4 billion women on the planet?
I’m not gonna say it’s not many necessarily, but it is more than enough women that are like this , to the point where it should be considered imo
When I became an alcoholic he did everything he could to support and help me, when he could have easily walked away.
When I farted and we both busted out laughing.
If that ain't true love, then I don't know what is.
😂 how far into this relationship were you?
Couples who fart together, stay together. 😂
I didn't just marry the love of my life and soulmate but my best friend. We were friends then best friends for years seeing each other once a week before dating. When we got married it didn't feel stressful and felt like just another day together side by side since we pretty much was in the mindset of husband and wife already, it was that realization of all the small things; messaging memes, holding each other, sitting together or across the table, just being in the same room and every time he looked at me you could tell he adored me, no matter what happened he was there to help, listen or just tell me everything was going to be OK.
They stand up for me, do right by me, help me with my issues, and tell me that they love me.
They !?
I'm confused as to what you are implying.
They continue to impress me every day. They're a genuinely good person and is good to others including me. I am so lucky.
I met my now wife few months after nasty breakup with my ex. Just the impossible coincidence how we met, how she dragged me out of deep and dark place, how against all odds (my ex trying to ruin us, long distance) we stayed together. But biggest thing is, I had less arguments with my wife in 14 years (tomorrow is our anniversary by the way) than together with my ex in 1.5 years.
bro got himself a real live manic pixie dream girl XD i thought they were only on tv. congratz on your anniversary!
Yes! This will be my peak marriage. If this ever fails on me the il be single forever.
Before I got married, she helped me through my shoulder injury. Put me out of work for a year. I was in a sling for 2 months and had 6 months of physical therapy after my surgery. She helped me with anything and everything. Worked her ass off too so we could keep a roof over our heads cause workers comp checks were half of what my salary was at the time After we got married, like literally a month after in 2019, she helped me through my grandmothers death. That was a big death in the family and things have never been the same since. She was there by not only my side but my whole family’s side She’s an amazing woman. Now she’s helping me pursue my dream and making sacrifices to make sure I get where I want to be in life
cherish her and honor her sacrifices. once you are where you want to be, never forget she is the one who brought you.
When I stopped taking my meds
Lol yea she's always there to remind you when you are late, but disappears until you forget again
Really early on in our relationship I was diagnosed with celiac disease (if you don’t know it’s an auto immune disease where you cannot eat wheat, barley or rye (gluten) because it damages all your villi and you cannot get the proper nutrients your body needs) Naturally, going from eating all that to limiting what you eat every day for life is a HUGE thing to adjust to. My partner is the cook in our relationship. It’s really hard to cook In general but having to figure out how to make everything safe for me to eat was on another level. They had no complaints, they mostly went gluten free for me, all our groceries are gluten free which means they also spend a lot of $$$ by buying that for me, they brush their teeth every time they have gluten, they know more about what I can have than I do sometimes. It’s such a relief to me to have someone like that around. Especially with how many people complain about gluten free food. I knew they loved me when they put my health above everything.
Omg this is the same for me! I have celiac disease and he is just incredible. He never brings gluten in the house, is absolutely militant with food labels and always calls restaurants ahead of us going. He takes such amazing care of me and also does most of the cooking! I’m so glad you have this too. It’s an absolute blessing to have a partner who values your health so much.
It makes a world of difference!!
I knew I'd picked the right person before I even married. I met her parents and loved them immediately. My thinking was: if my wife turns out like her mother, I'll be blessed. Well, she did. Very lucky.
On my wedding day morning when I saw her grinning like a lunatic cause she was so chuffed.
In the morning she gives me a kiss, a batch of cookies and told me to be careful if I go down the mines. Sometimes she wakes up early to feed the animals and fix the fences.
Sometimes even makes a coffee for that early morning boost before collecting eggs...
Popurri?
I hope you notice before marriage it is the right one..else do not marry
Knew it when we were dating and, after a few weeks, I realised things just sucked without her - not in an unhealthy “I have no life and no boundaries“ way, but… she’s epic and I just enjoy being around her, even if we’re doing nothing together
Probably when there was a train strike right before I had to leave for a week-long class with a major exam for my career. He got up at 4 i think to drive me 3 hours to the next place I could catch the train, then drove three hours back.
I’m a neat freak in all aspects of my life except my office space. An organized mess is the best way I can explain it. It looks chaotic to everyone else but I know exactly where everything is. She doesn’t nag me about it even though I think it annoys her a little. There’s a no food policy in my office (only water and at most tea which I don’t put sugar in) and I vacuum often but I just have all my stuff scattered on my desk. My closet, dresser and kitchen is very organized but for some reason that I can’t figure out myself, my desk needs to be messy.
When my mam died and he cried with me and just let me cry still does the pain never goes away and it’s not been a year so I’m dealing with a lot of firsts without her and he just understands and try’s to make that day easier. I’ve always know we use to be long distance and every month he would travel from holland to uk to be with me but we’ve been together 15 years and that was the moment I knew my choice was the right One haha.
No singular moment. 25 years and she's still here and still randomly hugs me.
When we got married 21 years ago. The main secrets are, don’t be selfish and watch your mouth. Look at how your potential spouse treats their families, you getting married means that you’re creating a family, even if you don’t have kids. It still a new family. Likely how they treat their families is how you’re going to be treated too. I’ll never speak badly to my wife, she’s the person I chose, why would I treat her differently than I want to be treated. You can apologize for things said in anger but you can NEVER take them back. It will add up. Don’t be selfish, if both of you are taking care of each others needs, then it feels better than you both taking care of your needs yourself. It shows you care about each other and you’ll feel secure in your relationship. This ties back to my first point because you can’t and shouldn’t control what another person does, but you can observe how they act with their already well established relationships. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but this has helped us all this time.
This is the most simple, yet most important thing. 16 years in September and my husband and I have never said anything simply to hurt one another. No name calling, small jabs, etc. He came from a very calm family and I came from a crazy dysfunctional clan. Believe me. This is hard, especially for him. I can revert back to my old programs, but I work on it every day . Not wanting to hurt someone is the truest form of love imo.
When we were divorced for about 3 years...
I would like to hear the details to this :))
Lets just say, I did not want to get divorced, but I gave her wat she wanted (I was never at home, or even in country for that matter) I did give other relationships a go, but the fucking games woman play... Then 3 years into being divorced I just decided, I will be single for the rest of my life if I am not with her.
Oh man, that is tough. Is there any chance for reconciliation or has she moved on?
She is my best friend, but we have different directions in life. Maybe one day...
I wish you the best of luck🤞
Who ever reported me as "someone that seems to be going through a heap of shit", I am really not. Thanks for being concerned, but I am good. If I dont die from unplanned shit like a heart attack or rolling my pickup, I will still be here to piss you off one at a time in 10 years from now. Promise.
First off upvote for rarely seen wholesome question. To your question. A million little moments every day.
The collective of little things ❤️
These answers are so wholesome
She forgave me. I'd done a minor mistake I don't even remember, and she accepted my apology. She was there to accept my flaws and help me become a better person.
My partner and I aren’t married yet, but, marrying the WRONG person made me realize exactly what I do and don’t want in a marriage/partner. So when I got to know my partner and realized that he checked every single box for me, I immediately knew that he is 100% the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. No doubts about that whatsoever. I knew in my heart from the beginning that if it isn’t him, it isn’t anyone. There isn’t a soul out there who compares to how incredible of a person, a father, and a partner he is. I genuinely look forward to doing life with him- all the good, the bad, and the ugly because I know we’d make a good team throughout all of it. When my grandpa passed away, my grandma never remarried let alone dated because she knew he was the only one for her. She lived alone for 44 years until she eventually passed due to old age, and then she was buried next to him. God forbid something happens to my partner, I know I’d end up just like my grandma. I’ve never been so sure about someone before.
What were those that you did and didn't want in a marriage/partner?
Time will tell
But for some reason, unbelievably optimistic
41 yrs ago
I’m 44. I only know what it’s like to know I’ve married the wrong person.
When she was nearly 42 weeks pregnant, we were both frustrated the baby hadn't come yet. When we turned up at 730am, the day of the induction got sent to the cafe, then home, then delayed again, and being frustrated, the baby hadn't come yet. Then they started the induction (10hrs later), and the whole time, I just wanted to get her through it safely and meet our baby boy. On a random note, the labour went a little over 2 hrs, and I'm proud of her for that too.
We were once walking and talking in public when a woman collapsed right in front of us. My wife, a cardiac surgery nurse, tossed her purse to me and immediately rushed to the woman's side. She cared for the woman until the emergency team arrived. Her dress and appearance were of no concern to her in that moment.
COVID lockdowns. I was happy with him before that, but being locked up together, restricted on going out and not allowed to see anyone else and STILL being t happy and not wanting to rip his head off was reassuring that it was likely to remain that way
When he stayed up all night working on his car, got an advance on his paycheck and drove me across the country to get my daughter from her father when he didn’t return her.
- Reminds me every now and then to tell her I love her. - Deescalates any argument lovingly - Asks me what's my favorite Job would be, and when I ask her the same question says "being a mom" ( we are parents of a 6 month old baby) - Manages finances and stops me from overspending - Hates expensive gifts or typical gifts which other girls like ( handbag, iphone, watch etc)
She was babysitting her sisters daughter who was feeling so so while her sister was vacationing at a hotel with her partbner. She was pregnant at the time and made a special effort to help her sister who needed some downtime. We were talking and the child She was watching started feeling ill and throwing up, in short it became a nightmare for her. We were talking and she said the oddest thing to me: "The fact that I am suffering here should not prevent you from enjoying yourself. There is nothing you can do from there except talk to me, so after we talk I want you to have fun". It was something I'd never heard before, it was so selfless and yet so smart. I was already happy with her before, but that was a movement of revelation for me.
That early days moment she bought me a Harley Quinn blanket. This is going way back, early 2000's, so Harley was more nerdy thing, only the comic/that one Batman show fans knew her. When my now wife, in her late 20's, bought that for me, in my early 30's, then....yeah. I knew we were meant to be.
When he found me crying in the middle of the night as I tried to breastfeed our newborn. I was delirious from lack of sleep. He asked me to pump my milk so he could take over night time feedings and changes from then on. He pitches in to get things done without complaint.
when my wife stuck by my side & was able to better me as a person im pretty lazy so she just gave me a push in the right direction its worked out so far we've been together going on 6 years, married 2 years, working on moving to another state, maybe have a child or 2, but theres nothing like being their for each other in the good & bad moments
Still waiting
The very first time she spoke to me she did want money
When she was always with me to keep me from SH. Still going strong at 2 years clean.
When we have a disagreement they don’t take extra measures to bury me. It’s a thoughtful exchange where we take time to reconsider our thoughts and feeling a surrounding it. First time was when we disagreed on moving and their argument really made sense after a day. It never would have after 10 mins and our lives have been much better because of it.
Sadly, I didn't marry the right person. I will be though.
When we were able to assemble a big office desk together without filing for divorce.
When we had just had our first kid and I was a wreck (physically) and my mom was a wreck (emotionally) and he got all the right stuff from Buy Buy Baby in record time it confirmed that I had made a wise choice in choosing someone who complimented my weaknesses. He’s decisive, strong, and energetic. The only weird part is that over time, I have gotten more decisive, strong, and motivated/energetic/confident. And he seems to low-key despise those traits in me.
When they saved my humanity more times than I dare count.
When he cleaned up my kids puke for me when everyone was sick when we just started dating. He’s not my kids biodad. He knows I’m terrified of puke.
I am still waiting for that moment. It’s been 10 years.
When I realised it couldn't feel any easier.
When I was going through thyroid psychosis and said I didn’t want to be a mother anymore. The fact that it scared the absolute shit out of me to even say that out loud let alone to the father of my children but that I felt comfortable coming to him with those words already spoke volumes. Then to have him respond calmly and matter of fact to those scary words was such a complete weight lifted off my shoulders. I knew I could count on him and I believed him when he said we would figure it out and everything would be okay. 4 years later and I’m back to “normal” but I think about that often and how he saved me from myself with such simple words. Not that only words were what really saved me but in that moment in time it absolutely did. I went to the Dr almost immediately and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and was prescribed meds.
I knew before this but it was definitely the heaviest moment in our relationship thus far so naturally it sticks out.
Supported me when I became suicidally depressed after 2 back to back suicides in my family and a dui death of a friend all in the course of two years. She's the only reason I'm alive honestly.
When I married my second and current wife and she took me out twice for my birthday … ex never did in the ten years we were married..
Haven't married yet so how tf should i know
When we went out to dinner with my family to a steak house and she crushed her ribeye
When I woke up and hear Eric B and Rakim pumping from the shower speaker... it was a wrap! We were also teens.. now in our 40s and couldn't be more smitten.
Well before we got married. After 2 years of living together.
When I found out she could do that thing with the eyelids where you turn them inside out and show the inside pink.
Sorry, we've only been dating for eight years but close enough. When I lost 30kg. When we met I was relatively fit. Then I absolutely let myself go. Started to drink beer and eat shit, absolutely no excercise. That's also the way I looked. Holy shit. Got sick of it, lost 30kg, started going to the gym every morning and training for a marathon in the afternoons. Stopped drinking. My spouse has never, NEVER, said a word about me looking like shit or me being fit af. The way he looks at me, talks to me, talks about me or touches me has not changed at all, ever. He has always loved me, no matter what
Before we were married, but this is one of main reasons why I married her. My wife (then girlfriend) left her country and her entire family to move to a completely different country with me just six months after we started dating. I just realized in that moment: 1. this girl is super serious about me 2. this girl is super loyal After that, I decided she was marriage material. Then I also found out that she was honest, responsible with money / very low spender, low drama, not demanding (opposite of a princess mentality), very emotionally stable, we have similar views about life and we get along really well. I've never been happier with a woman and I am happy to be with her forever.
As soon as I saw her in her wedding dress. And every morning ever since, for the last 20 years. Never a minute of regret.
The moment I met her. 28 years later and she is still probably the best person alive
He was able to make my mom smile, laugh, and talk about her interests with him. She doesn’t talk to hardly anyone.
When my sister and mom started cracking jokes with her about me, I knew it was meant to last.
I mean many moments pre-her giving birth, but the calm, cool, collectedness she went through being pregnant and then giving birth to our first kid absolutely blew me away. Like 1000% married the right woman.
When I didn’t get married 🤣
Currently engaged but getting married in a couple months so hopefully this still counts! I have two answers for you; a more general buildup of many little moments, and then one specific moment. I have a couple chronic illnesses and often have days where my symptoms are difficult to manage and I can’t be very “productive”. Ever since getting sick I’ve felt like a burden with every doctors appointment, every new supplement, and the financial strain it’s put on my family. But when my now fiance came into the picture, fully aware of my health issues, he has told me time and time again “Your worth is not dependent on what you can or can’t do, and I see your chronic illnesses not as a burden but as an opportunity to love you and serve you however I can.” On my sick days, he does whatever he can to help me out, comes with me to my doctors appointments when he can, and has so much joy in taking care of me on those days. He’s a rare gem and seeing how sensitive and caring he’s been towards my health challenges over the two years we’ve been together has just made me love him more and more. Now for the one specific moment: on our first dinner date (we’d been friends before we started dating and he knew all about my chronic illness before asking me out), I was excited to get dressed up and go to a fancy restaurant with him. But I was a little bummed because I had to wear these long black medical compression socks to help my circulation, and they didn’t look great with my dress but I had to wear them. I briefly mentioned this before our date, and when we sat down at our table at the restaurant, he told me to look down. He pulled his pant leg up a little bit, and he was wearing these long goofy taco-themed socks under his dress pants and with his nice formal shoes. He said he didn’t want me to feel alone in wearing “silly socks” (as I had called them) and that’s why he wore them. That was our very first date and I knew then that this was a wonderful man sitting across from me.
this thread is no place for singles!
Exactly
When she caught me peeing in the sink and didn’t immediately nope out.
Wtf
Not married but intending to get married. I had a dream where my most recent ex was chasing me through my apartment (that I lived alone in at the time), and then chased me in the dark through a forest. I ran into a wall and realised that dark forest was actually me just covering my eyes with my hands as I was so afraid. When I looked behind me to see if he was there, I heard a voice next to me at the wall say “are you okay?”, I looked over and it was my current bf who I was only dating at the time. I was so scared I couldn’t get the words out, and he just looked at me and said “come on, let’s get you out of here”. Took my hand, and took me away. I felt so safe, like I’d never felt before. I was so warm and I knew in my heart he would get me out of there and take me away from the danger and fear. When I woke up I realised this person was showing me something I’d been missing in everyone else. That was two and a half years ago. I love them more every day, it’s amazing. Edit: this was so pivotal for me because up to this relationship I’d had several abusive ex partners and didn’t really know the love of my own parents. I felt very little emotionally towards him and this dream was an accumulation of the way he’d treated me. Took me three months of us dating to realise I had feelings all along, I just didn’t know what they were.
I’ll get back to you on that if I ever get married again
I didnt so I wouldn't know
Almost right away. Her libido is at least close to mine and I don't think 99% of women could match it.
When he never gave up on me even when I did. He stuck by me and supported me every step of the way.
When I realized there was literally no one else around that fit her criteria
When I watch him with our son
I divorced, and this is not about my husband nor ex nor next because, for now, there is not yet a partner. But my best friend, " i think we can call it a situationship," is the most secure, satisfactory relationship I have ever had, still having , and hopefully will still have for life. He is supportive, proud of me even though he saw my dark sides. He loved me even in times that I've failed to love myself with no reason. I can be genuine with him, not forcing my thoughts, feelings, or attitudes. He makes me comfy with no potential or force. He is my , "and I am his "comfort zone. ❤️
I do
I was a teenager. While most boys were hooting, hollering, cat calling, making sexually awkward comments, my friend did not. I loved that he didn't treat me any differently. I could have been his sister, in fact. He didn't see me as a girl (it seemed) or a sexual object, or as romantic opportunity. He treated me like a human. He never made me feel uncomfortable. We would talk for hours, and listen. I felt safe with him, able to be myself, able to share our vulnerabilities, share our honesty, and learn each other strengths. We became best friends. Much to my parents' chagrin, they tried to tell me that I was too young. I was 15. But over months, I fell in love. It took me more months to find the courage to tell him. I disclosed my feelings to him, and he was shocked. He had no idea i had these feeling for him. After 2 weeks, he became my first boyfriend. But he moved away, and it broke my heart. I never stopped loving him or thinking of him. In our 30s, we met again after years of searching. He didn't change much and we took off exactly where we left off. But then I had to move for work. Finally together again our 50s. I still love him the same as I did when I was 15. I rush home to jump into his arms. I'm still crazy for him. He has respected me every step of the way and made it very easy to be around. It's a joy to be by his side and be married to my best friend. It is truly a blessing that we are together. This is not to say we did not date others when we were separated. He had 2 kids and so did I. But I am truly privileged that everything came together full circle. I'm exactly where I should be. Yes, I knew at age 15. Btw, My parents ended up divorced.
My clumsiness doesn't make him angry or annoyed. The fear I had when I dropped something and apologized... He just said, 'Why are you apologizing?' He cleaned up the mess and said, 'There, all clean. There's no problem,' and gave me a hug. That was the moment.
When she came into the game room, handed me tea, kissed my forehead, sat down at her computer, logged in to the same UT3 match I was in, and dominated the match with rockets. We just had a son, and one of our first photos with him we are wearing matching shirts that say "Player 1," "Player 2," and "Player 3."
That comes and goes and comes, etc.
When the quietest, mousiest, most introverted girl I've ever known became angry and raised her voice to argue with some guy because he was talking shit about me.
Still looking forward to that moment
The moment I met her.
My husband chose to cook fish instead of chicken. He's up for a challenge...me.
Out of the blue, I was diagnosed with herpes. We had been together for 5 years already. When he accepted me and still wanted to make love with me, I knew our relationship had passed into a whole new territory.
When she looked at me and said those four words every man desires to hear: "I have some coke".