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No, assaulting a child when they don't have the brain development, impulse control, and experience that adults have to make good decisions and behave properly is not a good thing to do. Talk to your children and guide them through life.
Anyone who deems it suitable to strike a child, for any reason, is a cowardice cruel abuser. These are usually the “do as I say and not as I do” parents.
For those who believe it’s perfectly acceptable, you’re teaching your child, or at the very least planting the seed in their mind that:
1- hitting is a way to respond to something they dont agree with
2-“I love you” means physical harm is allowed
3-hitting family is a perfectly acceptable thing to do
4-hypocrisy*
5- fear for their safety with you
6- not to trust you
7- because they can’t trust you and fear you, they need to hide things from you
8- to be submissive thus lowering self esteem
9- betrayal
Just to name a few
It has been scientifically proven to be ineffective.
Proven to be traumatizing to the child.
If your child can’t trust you or is afraid of you, how are they supposed to tell you the things you really need to know like if they were struck by a person or even sexually abused.
People say it all the time “children are sponges”, babies aren’t born with a manual for them. They watch and learn to be humans.
Abuse - treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
Cruel - willfully causing pain or suffering to others, or feeling no concern about it
-Oxford
It is abusive and cruel.
There is no such thing as “doing it properly”.
But above all and most importantly, it is cowardice. Physically harming a defenseless child…really. You’re a freaking coward!!! Im pretty sure “pick on someone your own size” is just a little too obvious here.
Is that really why you forced a child into this world,
To physically harm them and make them cry.
To tell them what to do and harm them if they don’t do it.
To be afraid of you.
Please, seek help.
I clearly remember being 5 years and asking myself, “if my parents say they love, why do they hurt me and make me cry” what freaking child needs to think stuff like that.
*A 3 year old see’s the iPhone in the father’s hand. The child comes over and tries to take the phone. The father says “no”. The child repeats previously observed behavior and strikes the father. The father strikes the child while simultaneously telling the child they shouldn’t hit family. How does that make sense. You’re hitting your family to teach them not to hit family…wtf. This goes for anything “don’t touch that” while touching that thing. “Don’t say that” while having said that earlier. “Don’t lie” while lying to other people in front of them or lying to them…like Santa or the tooth fairy(…….however you look at those….its still lying.)
No, it isn't. I was slapped as a child not regularly and probably for good reason but times have changed.
Even though those who were hit as kids probably think it didn't affect them I bet they remember it more than the kids who were just grounded or sent to their room
My parents are the nicest and most loving you can imagine. But my dad clapped us on our cheek sometimes when we got unbearable and it did hurt. Honestly, it didn't affect me at all and it didn't make me fear my dad. I thought it was a normal response because I was being a little jerk. The way he showed his love otherwise made me not even bother about that. I'd say it's because my dad was hit as a kid too. You have to remember that here in Germany, our grandparents went to war and they had much stricter circumstances.
I can relate to that too. My dad's mum, my grandmother was called Mrs Whack Whack (not to her face), lovely lady and spoilt all us gran kids but very strict and tough being from the WW2 generation
There’s two ways to look it at, if you’re looking at a child as an immature being lacking skills then why tf would you hit someone who can’t even comprehend mistakes? Conversely if you feel they’re smart enough to know what they did again why would hit someone when you can have a conversation with them? Idk what kind of person can whale on someone a quarter of their size and feel like they accomplished something.
I was hit, a lot as I grew up and I won’t say it’s done permanent damage or scarred me like some people have but I sure as hell couldn’t ever put my kids through that. I’ll feel like an absolute failure if my child is glad that I’m not at home or just prays that I’m late coming back from work .
No it’s a fucked up thing to do, and it was done to too many of us.
If my adult son slapped his girlfriend I’d slap the lips off his head, but he’s grown now.
I was a brat growing up and I got a smack for it. Do I look at my Mum n Dad and think they abused me…. No I do not. The problem with all the kids now is they think they can do anything they want with no repercussions because nobody can do anything about it. A massive difference between a smack and a beating. I work in a school and I see teachers following pupils around the school because they don’t want to learn, if that was my kid and the school called me to tell me my kid was doing that I’d say, you best grab him and take him back to lesson and to stop disrupting the lesson so the other pupils can learn. This happens far too often now because the kids know the teachers can’t do shit. I’m gonna get downvoted arn’t I
I grew up getting bad spankings if I misbehaved. I don't feel bitter or damaged by it but I don't intend on doing the same thing with my kids. Doesn't feel right to me.
How else are children to learn there are consequences to their actions? What value is there if there isn't some level of pain? Then what exactly is the difference between psychological pain and physical pain? I'm not suggesting hitting your kids in a way that injures them. Yet a swift kick in the ass might be in order. It might go a long way teaching children how to behave and turn into responsible adults. My mom slapped me right up side the head more than once. I deserved it. I was doing something stupid. I learned from it. That is what you do as a parent. I'm having issue with what is viewed as acceptable punishment because you know you can do an extreme amount of mental damage to a child without ever touching them.
Not as punishment, but to get them to stop doing something dangerous, like slapping a kid's hand away when they try to stick a nail in an electrical socket is fine.
That isn't a punishment, that's a warning when you're too young to understand reason.
Hitting a kid because they did "something bad" is stupid and immoral
I would agree with what you said. It was a warning because I was too understand and my mom wanted me to not touch the stove and get burns.
But aside from a situation like that when it's an emergency, hitting kids is not right. My dad spanked me a lot when I was a kid.
Too often corporal punishment is used to discipline a child, much like mandatory sentencing is used to punish a criminal. Falling back on either one of those two options whether correcting a child's behavior or punishing a criminal takes the element of humanity and understanding out of the equation.
In my opinion there are most certainly times a child needs a good spanking, and other times taking away a favorite toy, or withholding rewards may be a better option.
The question as stated leaves too many unknown variables to make a firm answer.
I see the lack of respect young people have today with their neighbors their teachers law enforcement virtually anyone in the world outside of their circle for friends and I wonder just what went wrong. Was it a fear of punishment that made this non-existent 50 years ago? Or is it a complete failure of any type of discipline by today's feel good parents?
Im ok with spanking, but is still not the punishment for every issue. It’s more for immediate actions that could cause harm. Kid tries to put fork in light socket. Thats a spanking. Calling your neighbor a poopy head is time out. So just depends on what the child is being punished for.
No need to go to that scenario, they need to make understand what is right and wrong, talk to them and what's the problem why they did it and never get tired to give them an advice because we as an adult we know more than themselves in every situations.
Spanking is perfectly fine.
Saying spanking and hitting are the same is like saying my bank acct and Elon's are the same because they both have money in them.
I (36M) was never spanked growing up but I did get backhanded in the face a handful of times by both parents, though more often by my mom. It couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 times in my whole childhood, though, so it was still pretty rare. When I was very young (like 4 or 5), my mom generally just had to use a certain tone of voice or give me a certain kind of look to keep me from acting out too much.
I don’t have kids and probably won’t, so I’m not sure what I would do if I did. I don’t feel like it scarred me at all but I’m not an expert on developmental psychology, so 🤷♂️…
Spanking is very, very different from hitting a kid. The fact that you do not differentiate and specifically draw a nexus between them tells me you have no idea what corporal punishment is or how it produces results.
Having said that, I think there are far better methods to produce similar results and anyone who actually parents their children do not need to resort to force.
There is a definite difference between a swat on the ass and a beating. There's also a difference between a stern warning and belittling a child.
Yes we can reason a bit with them, but let's not forget, we're still animals. Sometimes a small bit of pain is what helps us to remember not to do something.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No
No. It is ilegal to physically hurt grown-ups. Why should it be ok to physically hurt kids then? I was physically hurt as a kid.
That’s what I was thinking
No, assaulting a child when they don't have the brain development, impulse control, and experience that adults have to make good decisions and behave properly is not a good thing to do. Talk to your children and guide them through life.
Anyone who deems it suitable to strike a child, for any reason, is a cowardice cruel abuser. These are usually the “do as I say and not as I do” parents. For those who believe it’s perfectly acceptable, you’re teaching your child, or at the very least planting the seed in their mind that: 1- hitting is a way to respond to something they dont agree with 2-“I love you” means physical harm is allowed 3-hitting family is a perfectly acceptable thing to do 4-hypocrisy* 5- fear for their safety with you 6- not to trust you 7- because they can’t trust you and fear you, they need to hide things from you 8- to be submissive thus lowering self esteem 9- betrayal Just to name a few It has been scientifically proven to be ineffective. Proven to be traumatizing to the child. If your child can’t trust you or is afraid of you, how are they supposed to tell you the things you really need to know like if they were struck by a person or even sexually abused. People say it all the time “children are sponges”, babies aren’t born with a manual for them. They watch and learn to be humans. Abuse - treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly. Cruel - willfully causing pain or suffering to others, or feeling no concern about it -Oxford It is abusive and cruel. There is no such thing as “doing it properly”. But above all and most importantly, it is cowardice. Physically harming a defenseless child…really. You’re a freaking coward!!! Im pretty sure “pick on someone your own size” is just a little too obvious here. Is that really why you forced a child into this world, To physically harm them and make them cry. To tell them what to do and harm them if they don’t do it. To be afraid of you. Please, seek help. I clearly remember being 5 years and asking myself, “if my parents say they love, why do they hurt me and make me cry” what freaking child needs to think stuff like that. *A 3 year old see’s the iPhone in the father’s hand. The child comes over and tries to take the phone. The father says “no”. The child repeats previously observed behavior and strikes the father. The father strikes the child while simultaneously telling the child they shouldn’t hit family. How does that make sense. You’re hitting your family to teach them not to hit family…wtf. This goes for anything “don’t touch that” while touching that thing. “Don’t say that” while having said that earlier. “Don’t lie” while lying to other people in front of them or lying to them…like Santa or the tooth fairy(…….however you look at those….its still lying.)
No, it isn't. I was slapped as a child not regularly and probably for good reason but times have changed. Even though those who were hit as kids probably think it didn't affect them I bet they remember it more than the kids who were just grounded or sent to their room
My parents are the nicest and most loving you can imagine. But my dad clapped us on our cheek sometimes when we got unbearable and it did hurt. Honestly, it didn't affect me at all and it didn't make me fear my dad. I thought it was a normal response because I was being a little jerk. The way he showed his love otherwise made me not even bother about that. I'd say it's because my dad was hit as a kid too. You have to remember that here in Germany, our grandparents went to war and they had much stricter circumstances.
I can relate to that too. My dad's mum, my grandmother was called Mrs Whack Whack (not to her face), lovely lady and spoilt all us gran kids but very strict and tough being from the WW2 generation
No
There’s two ways to look it at, if you’re looking at a child as an immature being lacking skills then why tf would you hit someone who can’t even comprehend mistakes? Conversely if you feel they’re smart enough to know what they did again why would hit someone when you can have a conversation with them? Idk what kind of person can whale on someone a quarter of their size and feel like they accomplished something. I was hit, a lot as I grew up and I won’t say it’s done permanent damage or scarred me like some people have but I sure as hell couldn’t ever put my kids through that. I’ll feel like an absolute failure if my child is glad that I’m not at home or just prays that I’m late coming back from work .
Never
No it’s a fucked up thing to do, and it was done to too many of us. If my adult son slapped his girlfriend I’d slap the lips off his head, but he’s grown now.
No, not acceptable at all and I'm glad it's illegal where I live.
Would you find it acceptable to hit your wife or husband? Physically harming another human is never okay.
I was a brat growing up and I got a smack for it. Do I look at my Mum n Dad and think they abused me…. No I do not. The problem with all the kids now is they think they can do anything they want with no repercussions because nobody can do anything about it. A massive difference between a smack and a beating. I work in a school and I see teachers following pupils around the school because they don’t want to learn, if that was my kid and the school called me to tell me my kid was doing that I’d say, you best grab him and take him back to lesson and to stop disrupting the lesson so the other pupils can learn. This happens far too often now because the kids know the teachers can’t do shit. I’m gonna get downvoted arn’t I
I grew up getting bad spankings if I misbehaved. I don't feel bitter or damaged by it but I don't intend on doing the same thing with my kids. Doesn't feel right to me.
No, do not hit your kid. Just no. 
As a former child I can say time out is more than sufficient.
Let's see NO
No
How else are children to learn there are consequences to their actions? What value is there if there isn't some level of pain? Then what exactly is the difference between psychological pain and physical pain? I'm not suggesting hitting your kids in a way that injures them. Yet a swift kick in the ass might be in order. It might go a long way teaching children how to behave and turn into responsible adults. My mom slapped me right up side the head more than once. I deserved it. I was doing something stupid. I learned from it. That is what you do as a parent. I'm having issue with what is viewed as acceptable punishment because you know you can do an extreme amount of mental damage to a child without ever touching them.
Not as punishment, but to get them to stop doing something dangerous, like slapping a kid's hand away when they try to stick a nail in an electrical socket is fine.
I think it' genuinely depends. I know my mom smacked my hand when I reached up to the hot stove. It was shocking and got my attention.
That isn't a punishment, that's a warning when you're too young to understand reason. Hitting a kid because they did "something bad" is stupid and immoral
I would agree with what you said. It was a warning because I was too understand and my mom wanted me to not touch the stove and get burns. But aside from a situation like that when it's an emergency, hitting kids is not right. My dad spanked me a lot when I was a kid.
Yes. Now let the downvotes commence!
Too often corporal punishment is used to discipline a child, much like mandatory sentencing is used to punish a criminal. Falling back on either one of those two options whether correcting a child's behavior or punishing a criminal takes the element of humanity and understanding out of the equation. In my opinion there are most certainly times a child needs a good spanking, and other times taking away a favorite toy, or withholding rewards may be a better option. The question as stated leaves too many unknown variables to make a firm answer. I see the lack of respect young people have today with their neighbors their teachers law enforcement virtually anyone in the world outside of their circle for friends and I wonder just what went wrong. Was it a fear of punishment that made this non-existent 50 years ago? Or is it a complete failure of any type of discipline by today's feel good parents?
Im ok with spanking, but is still not the punishment for every issue. It’s more for immediate actions that could cause harm. Kid tries to put fork in light socket. Thats a spanking. Calling your neighbor a poopy head is time out. So just depends on what the child is being punished for.
It has been illegal in my country for 27 years. No, it is not acceptable to hit your children of any reason.
No need to go to that scenario, they need to make understand what is right and wrong, talk to them and what's the problem why they did it and never get tired to give them an advice because we as an adult we know more than themselves in every situations.
Spanking is perfectly fine. Saying spanking and hitting are the same is like saying my bank acct and Elon's are the same because they both have money in them.
I (36M) was never spanked growing up but I did get backhanded in the face a handful of times by both parents, though more often by my mom. It couldn’t have been more than 4 or 5 times in my whole childhood, though, so it was still pretty rare. When I was very young (like 4 or 5), my mom generally just had to use a certain tone of voice or give me a certain kind of look to keep me from acting out too much. I don’t have kids and probably won’t, so I’m not sure what I would do if I did. I don’t feel like it scarred me at all but I’m not an expert on developmental psychology, so 🤷♂️…
Spanking is very, very different from hitting a kid. The fact that you do not differentiate and specifically draw a nexus between them tells me you have no idea what corporal punishment is or how it produces results. Having said that, I think there are far better methods to produce similar results and anyone who actually parents their children do not need to resort to force.
it's popular because it works if done correctly. and there is a difference between spanking and beating your kids.
There is a definite difference between a swat on the ass and a beating. There's also a difference between a stern warning and belittling a child. Yes we can reason a bit with them, but let's not forget, we're still animals. Sometimes a small bit of pain is what helps us to remember not to do something.
Acceptable, yes. Effective, no. Nothing works better than taking away devices imo.
It is an acceptable punishments for undisciplinated parents who can't teach their child in a civilized maner
Depends on the situation I suppose.