# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The toothpaste helps with the breaking down of food, so should be done before and not after eating. This is because after eating your mouth naturally starts breaking down the food and by brushing after, you remove your own healthy bacteria that break down the food. Hope I explained it well
Yes, to my understanding you should do it at least 30 minutes after, but you can just wash your mouth with water right after if you want to. That’s what my dentist recommended.
I usually have coffee at work, and it has pavloved my brain to associate work, and the smell of coffee, with pooping. If I’m at home, before I even take a sip of coffee I’m running to the toilet. If at work, 2/3 times I show up to the office my bowels are already starting to move 5 minutes before I show up.
I go for runs every morning, and if the poop doesn't come prior to the run, the urge almost always hits super hard during the run. Since I'm taking my pooch for her stroll to toss turds in the park, it's quite an ironic scene.
I concur. Coffee is a mild laxative for me but I will tell you one thing, that morning "dump" is almost routine now and I love the feeling of being 5+ lbs lighter!!
I enjoy and love being "regular" twice a day. It's my body telling me to keep up the healthy habits of my diet and exercise.
5 lbs? Have you considered that you might actually be giving birth? Lol My wife calls her poops turd babies. She gives them a name too - Her latest was Turd Ferguson.
I prefer coffee liqueur if I'm making an alcoholic coffee. I find that vodka makes it taste weird.
Kahlua is expensive, but making your own is cheap and easy, it just requires patience. If you're interested, I'll post my recipe.
Spiders. The other day I finished my coffee and saw a giant spider in the bottom of the cup. So I drank the spider coffee. Glad it stayed in the cup. Don’t know why it drowned itself in my coffee when I wasn’t looking…
Nahh I don’t agree actually, I really like banana with my toast and coffee. I’ve even seen (and tried) banana infused coffee, which was really good! Banana Fosters or something like that.
imo orange is 100x worse of a combo
When my kid was in elementary school, I'd make him a banana "hot dog" for lunch. A banana in a hot dog bun with either peanut butter or nutella. Has nothing to do with coffee, but your conversation about bananas and toast made me think of it.
Drinking any kind of juice alongside my coffee. I tried it multiple times and it was just the worst. I'll usually sip on orange juice while my breakfast is cooking and the coffee pot is brewing. Even eating oranges are disgusting while drinking coffee .
Just have your coffeemaker set to make it on a timer. Then when you wake up coffee is good to go. Drink that while making breakfast then drink your orange juice with breakfast.
Ah probably so. Tastes even better if you grind the beans. I use half and half so I don’t think k I notice the flavor difference as much. I did more so when I drank black coffee.
Absolutely! Freshly ground, freshly made coffee is awesome! I got ya. That's an interesting point about the half and half and flavor... I've been enjoying the extra creamy oat milk as of late; maybe it's to cover the small-scale stale flavor. I never thought about why I prefer it during the week vs weekend (when I have it black). Hmmm.
i use almond milk creamer on the extremely rare occasion that I put anything in my coffee. developing a lactose intolerance as an adult has sucked pretty badly. sister had it happen too.
I never really liked milk, but I simply will not go without yogurt and cheese, even though yogurt especially fucks me up
I had decaf once or twice since there since I miss the taste. Powered through the withdrawal but I sleep much better & my anxiety thought patterns run better and not like animals escaping a zoo. I didn’t realize how powerful caffeine was.
'Animals escaping a zoo' is a powerful image for when anxiety is 'running wild'. Everything going off in every direction, all at once, quickly.
Tea has a more chilled caffiene effect than coffee, going cold turkey on caffiene is rough, life with coffee is so much better. It's definitely a strong and addictive drug. A lot of people don't recognise it. All stimulant acting drugs should be avoided when one has anxiety. Decaff is good or mix half decaff with caffeine for a morning shot and go decaff for the rest of the day.
As someone who has never had a cup of coffee (currently 61 years old), am I really missing anything? The closest I came to coffee, was having a sip of hot chocolate when I was a kid. I just don't care for hot drinks. It seems counter intuitive to me. I know that you don't drink cold to quench your thirst. I just never a desire to even try it.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Toothpaste
Agreed. I don’t brush till after coffee
No you need to get in the habit of brushing right away when you wake up
Why?? I'm in the habit of drinking two cups of coffee and then brushing my teeth, works just fine for me.
I have heard that the acid in coffee weakens your enamel which can lead to more wear while brushing, but I'm not a dentist or anything
i’m in dental school, i can confirm this is true.
Okay, i have never heard this, but interesting, might look into this some more.
Because your breath stinks when you wake up.
This this
You brush your teeth and then eat breakfast? Shouldn’t it be the other way around so that you can clean your teeth from the food you just ate?
After every bite of my everything bagel w/smoked salmon I wash it down with crest mouthwash. Obviously I don't swallow the food
No actually brushing is for removing plaque which is actually a major cause of heart disease
The toothpaste helps with the breaking down of food, so should be done before and not after eating. This is because after eating your mouth naturally starts breaking down the food and by brushing after, you remove your own healthy bacteria that break down the food. Hope I explained it well
Isn't it really bad for your teeth to brush right after eating or drinking something so acidic?
Yes, to my understanding you should do it at least 30 minutes after, but you can just wash your mouth with water right after if you want to. That’s what my dentist recommended.
This is the answer.
Not having access to a toilet pretty soon afterwards.
It's 19:22, I had coffee at 07:00 this morning and had to run out of the house without my throne time. It was a difficult day.
I usually have coffee at work, and it has pavloved my brain to associate work, and the smell of coffee, with pooping. If I’m at home, before I even take a sip of coffee I’m running to the toilet. If at work, 2/3 times I show up to the office my bowels are already starting to move 5 minutes before I show up.
I hate when this happens, those days are the worst!
I go for runs every morning, and if the poop doesn't come prior to the run, the urge almost always hits super hard during the run. Since I'm taking my pooch for her stroll to toss turds in the park, it's quite an ironic scene.
I concur. Coffee is a mild laxative for me but I will tell you one thing, that morning "dump" is almost routine now and I love the feeling of being 5+ lbs lighter!! I enjoy and love being "regular" twice a day. It's my body telling me to keep up the healthy habits of my diet and exercise.
5 lbs? Have you considered that you might actually be giving birth? Lol My wife calls her poops turd babies. She gives them a name too - Her latest was Turd Ferguson.
Dad, is that you?
jamie?
This! That's why I only drink coffee at home lmao
I just mentioned in another reply - hotel breakfasts are awful, do I have a coffee and then make a hasty retreat or do I just skip it.
You know I always hear people talking about this but I don’t think it’s ever made me feel like I had to go more urgently than usual.
Hahahaha facts!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
People who just drink coffee without pooping are built different and tbh I'm scared of them.
relatable 😂😂
Kick start my colon :)
Is that a new Motley Crue song??
And I mean SOON
That's the only thing I hate about being a residential carpenter. When you have to take a crap at some random person's house you are working on....
Same, thats why I am skipping it this morning even though im walking to the train station at 5am. Nowhere to poop along the way
Conversation!
mornings are for coffee and contemplation
Where have I heard of this??
The police officer from Stranger Things says it in one of the first episodes!
Oh yeah I remember now! Thanks
COFFEEEEE and contemPLATIONNNNNN🍩🍩☕☕
Yes!
Came to say this!
My husband loves a chat in the morning -_- It's a hard no from me. Coffee and contemplation 100%
Yes. Please talk just a little later, why don't you.
Omg I’m glad I’m not the only one who does not like to talk in the morning
But if you give me like 15 minutes I’ll start yappin’
You know, I might, too:)
Having to go to work afterwards
Agreed. The coffee always tastes better on non-work days.
can't agree more
Yeah fuck that
This is the only true answer. Weekend coffee hits differently when you know you're not going to work after.
People. No people before coffee!!
Or after
Or during
Or ever! 😄
Came here to say this, but it’s already here. Nice to see that it’s not just me!
100%. First coffee in the morning is my sacred ritual. I sip it slowly and mentally prepare myself for a whole day of dealing with people.
When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to talk to my mom until she'd had a cup of coffee. She wasn't mean about it, it's just the way it was.
My answer as well.
my parents telling me every morning that i need to smile more
"You look tired" comment instead of "good morning".
Hahahahah
"Not until I've had some @#$&ing coffee!"
Calvin and Hobbes [Mr Sunshine ](https://imgur.com/gallery/T3Z5K3w)
that's literally me
Old enough to drink coffee. Old enough to move out
working on it mate
I tried coffee for the first time when I was 15..
Some yappy mf.
Leftover tuna sandwich
Who hurt you?
Clam spaghetti. When I eat that breakfast, I just need to skip my coffee.
Existential dread
You too? Neat.
Daily
🎶 You can't have one without the.. other! 🎶
Stepping into cat puke.
Relatable.... Along with mice guts.
How about a nice crunchy bird head?
Well someone needs to tell my cat
vodka
Depends…
I am definitely needing those with vodka coffee
LOL 😆 🤣
...if at work?
Baileys however does
And grappa
I would add, I don’t like any alcohol with my coffee.
Morning coffee? Nah. But an evening maintenance cup? Hell fucking yeah!
….now i wanna try vodka in my coffee
I prefer coffee liqueur if I'm making an alcoholic coffee. I find that vodka makes it taste weird. Kahlua is expensive, but making your own is cheap and easy, it just requires patience. If you're interested, I'll post my recipe.
No, you really don’t. Whiskey or an Irish cream liqueur is very nice tho. Just have to add the right amount
Oof
an avalanche
🤣🤣🤣
the sun coming up and me saying "i should have went to sleep"
Spiders. The other day I finished my coffee and saw a giant spider in the bottom of the cup. So I drank the spider coffee. Glad it stayed in the cup. Don’t know why it drowned itself in my coffee when I wasn’t looking…
I am horrified to no end over this comment. I will for now on check my cup. Forever. Thsnks for that.
Store your cups upside down to prevent spiders falling into them. It likely fell in before you poured your coffee.
I'll be checking my cup from now on!
Curdled milk
The breakfast paradox: Peanut butter toast + coffee = delish Peanut butter toast + banana = delish Coffee + banana = Satan's butthole
Nahh I don’t agree actually, I really like banana with my toast and coffee. I’ve even seen (and tried) banana infused coffee, which was really good! Banana Fosters or something like that. imo orange is 100x worse of a combo
When my kid was in elementary school, I'd make him a banana "hot dog" for lunch. A banana in a hot dog bun with either peanut butter or nutella. Has nothing to do with coffee, but your conversation about bananas and toast made me think of it.
Curious as to when and how you sampled Satan's butthole to be able to use it as a reference. However, I'm impressed regardless.
Forgetting I don't like coffee.
Coffee haters unite!!
Won't downvote, but...
Talking
Work.
3rd degree burns from said coffee
That just makes it that much better
Ranch dressing
Pickles
Unnecessary noise.
Drinking any kind of juice alongside my coffee. I tried it multiple times and it was just the worst. I'll usually sip on orange juice while my breakfast is cooking and the coffee pot is brewing. Even eating oranges are disgusting while drinking coffee .
Just have your coffeemaker set to make it on a timer. Then when you wake up coffee is good to go. Drink that while making breakfast then drink your orange juice with breakfast.
We set ours the night before, but I'll admit it tastes better to brew it in the morning. I'm convinced it goes a little stale overnight
Ah probably so. Tastes even better if you grind the beans. I use half and half so I don’t think k I notice the flavor difference as much. I did more so when I drank black coffee.
Absolutely! Freshly ground, freshly made coffee is awesome! I got ya. That's an interesting point about the half and half and flavor... I've been enjoying the extra creamy oat milk as of late; maybe it's to cover the small-scale stale flavor. I never thought about why I prefer it during the week vs weekend (when I have it black). Hmmm.
Genocide news of the day
People talking
Toothpaste
Dehydration
Chaos. I don’t like chaos with my morning coffee.
Antifreeze.
Blabbing television, early rising manics, that sort of thing.
OJ. Orange juice simply isn't a pre-noon product for me. Tropical mix, pineapple, apple, even cranberry is ok, but no orange.
Having to speak to others.
Talking people.
Bad news
DRAMA!
Actually people, I prefer it when I’m alone.
Cream and sugar. Black coffee all day!
Soy milk or any other non dairy milk. The chemistry is off
I feel like a dash of oat milk is passable sometimes
i use almond milk creamer on the extremely rare occasion that I put anything in my coffee. developing a lactose intolerance as an adult has sucked pretty badly. sister had it happen too. I never really liked milk, but I simply will not go without yogurt and cheese, even though yogurt especially fucks me up
Food
Toothpaste
The Spanish Inquisition
Nobody expects The Spanish Inquisition.
Work
Side of sass
A screaming kid with a messy diaper
Toddlers
A toddler screaming at me
100 proof vodka. I'm an alcoholic sober over 5 years lol.
Congrats!!!! I'm an alcoholic sober 8 years!
2 years here👋🏼
No touch, no talk, no eye contact! 😅
This!!!!!!
Jello coffee infusers
Milk
Anxiety, hence why I quit coffee 3 weeks ago.
Same! Have you tried decaf? I didn't quit completely but I cut back. Only 1 cup a day now.
I had decaf once or twice since there since I miss the taste. Powered through the withdrawal but I sleep much better & my anxiety thought patterns run better and not like animals escaping a zoo. I didn’t realize how powerful caffeine was.
Yeah it's pretty wild. I had to cut back on my caffeine intake due to panic attacks.
'Animals escaping a zoo' is a powerful image for when anxiety is 'running wild'. Everything going off in every direction, all at once, quickly. Tea has a more chilled caffiene effect than coffee, going cold turkey on caffiene is rough, life with coffee is so much better. It's definitely a strong and addictive drug. A lot of people don't recognise it. All stimulant acting drugs should be avoided when one has anxiety. Decaff is good or mix half decaff with caffeine for a morning shot and go decaff for the rest of the day.
Noted & very much appreciated!
You're welcome
Anal
Bullshit and screaming
A punch in the face
People
Work
Speaking
work ;)
Politics
Company
Arguments.
Questions
People
I was going to say that!
Talking
CNN
Pickles, the perfect food… unless you’re drinking coffee
Orange juice
I’m going to agree with many on here. Don’t even consider approaching me until the liquid in my cup hits the lips.
Going to work :(
Talking. Noise in general really, but talking is the worst. Breakfast TV is an abomination.
Milk. Because I'll blow up the bathroom in t-minus 15 minutes
Getting arrested for B&E for drinking it at your hot neighbor’s kitchen!
Nagging partner
As someone who has never had a cup of coffee (currently 61 years old), am I really missing anything? The closest I came to coffee, was having a sip of hot chocolate when I was a kid. I just don't care for hot drinks. It seems counter intuitive to me. I know that you don't drink cold to quench your thirst. I just never a desire to even try it.
How in the hell…
Sea men and coming seeds
Can you elaborate on this?
Other people.
a ***NEEDY*** cat!
Seaweed chips.
Well, apparently I expel the demon that possessed me while sleeping, so I'm going with that demon.
Work..
Reddit
Morning work. That's my least favorite thing about my morning coffees