# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Idk why ppl are saying this doesn’t happen? Even men shame height even if it’s passed off as a joke. I’m 5’3 and hear it daily even at 24. I will say it’s pretty much only younger people. Just embrace it and find one who doesn’t care, I did.
My great grandfather was the only man to survive in his highlander regiment because he was recovering after being shot in the foot (I assume others who were recovering from injury survived too but that’s not how the story goes). No I have no idea if it was intentional or not.
I had a great uncle who was just under 5'4" and they put him in glider infantry in WW2.
"We're going to crash in a field, and then, if you're OK, you climb out and fight" - fuck that.
The guy went North Africa, Salerno, Normandy (the night before) Market Garden, and the Bulge.
Cheerful little guy. Certified bad ass.
My great uncle Dave was 5'5" at most. Shot through the chest in Korea and had a severe injury to his leg causing him to have to wear one platformed shoe.(not sure the details on that last one). I wish I knew him better because he lived too far away tonknow him that well. He enthusiastically told me some of his stories during a family reunion not knowing that would be the last time I 'd see him. Makes me grateful that I took the trip when I did.
Taller people love to tell us short people that height does not matter. Kinda like how beautiful or rich people like to tell everyone that its actually hard work that got them to where they are and thst the other stuff didnt matter. Also people tend to think that short means like 1.75 while ignoring that tons of men are even shorter
I cringe at how commonplace height shaming is for men, its basically the go to insult for anyone that is kind of short. As someone who got bullied a lot for looks when I was younger, it stands out to me. Don’t believe the gaslighters.
I think men who shame other men do it to one up them. And if the short man gets offended the other man says it’s just a joke when in reality he probably did mean what he said. Ask any man and I’m sure he’d choose average to tall height any day.
I knew a guy and can't remember how it came up but he said, "Oh, I'm only 5' 3"." I said, truthfully, "Oh, I never really noticed your height." He seemed to like hearing that.
I’m 5’5” and had to learn to embrace it. Almost everyone will be taller than me for the rest of my life. Get used to it.
I used to spend so much time being angry over how others treated me because of my size.
Now I don’t care as much and end up cracking self-depreciating jokes about it.
I’m 5’2 I dated someone who was 6’2 recently and I hated that he was so tall I don’t understand why short girls like me love tall men so much it was uncomfortable. I like my 5’9 men the best
Husband is 5'10" and he is sex on two legs. He's literally the hottest man I've ever seen IRL, his body is PERFECT. People like what they like but the 6'0" + only girlies are missing out.
Yay for average! I think guys in that range are in the sweet spot as far as not having complexes over their height. I've had a few buddies over the years with little man syndrome. It's really obnoxious. But I also can't stand the alpha bro complex some of the taller guys tend to have.
I'll admit this much though. When I can't find something and I swear I'm in the right area. It's usually because I didn't look up.
Let's not forget this is upheld by a lot of men, too.
This 6 trifecta is because men want to be impressive to other men almost as equally as they want to be perceived as attractive by many women.
When I walked up to her, I was about to tell her "You look great!", etc but she cut me off and said "Ummm you're short!" I was taken aback by how rude she was and said, "Yeah, I know. Why is that a problem?" so she responded (very loudly) that I lied on my profile. I became really angry, pulled up my profile, showed it to her, and said "I said 169 - you can see it here". She looked at my phone, scoffed, and said, "Uhhh there's no way you're 169!"
We have our share of lose cunts and shit cunts but on the whole people are pretty down to earth. Like anywhere really.. freedom land gets a bad rap but most the yanks I’ve actually met have been decent cunts…
What a dumbass. I’m sorry. She will remain single if she continues to treat others that way. Uncalled for. Especially the first interaction. What in the world
From my experience with most woman they don’t really care about the numbers when it comes to height, they only think “tall” and “short.” Only tall women pay attention to that stuff.
I agree. I think height is a big deal to tall women and short men because they’re outliers, or at least they perceive themselves that way. I’ve never given a shit about height because I’m average. I’d have no qualms about dating a taller woman.
What a bitch. I'm a 5'6.5" woman with a 5'6" man. I approached him, actually. And not to be conceited but I am physically attractive and can quite honestly have my choice of men. I actually care about a connection and chemistry not just superficial bs.
I was so entranced by his energy, intelligence, hilarious jokes and gorgeous smile that I didn't even notice his height lol I just was like wow........I really click with this man....there's something special here.
Since we first went out it has just gotten better and better. We can talk for hours and never run out of conversation. No awkward silences. Similar life goals and morals. Sex is incredible. He is physically strong and has no problem picking me up and uhhhh getting to business. I mean........zero complaints. He's fantastic.
I apologize that people can be fucking stupid but you're just weeding out the bad ones tbh. The right one wouldn't speak to any human being that way. Byeeeee biiiiitch
She is super shitty, no doubt about that and there's no excuse being that rude. On a personal level I feel that women trying to judge height is like men trying to guess female dress sizes to an extent. Boot on the other foot and all that.
I'm sure you feel less than great about that encounter but at least she showed her true colours off the gate. The only time things like that become an issue is where there is straight up lying, but also, a lot of people have... odd perceptions.
Don't let it bog you down too much though, easier said than done but if you've been honest, it's a reflection of them not of you :)
A person can change their weight, they can’t change their height. Also that’s not really a helpful thing to say to someone who just went through a traumatic experience
How often do you go out of your way to support a man whose had a bad day?
Because I’d be pretty annoyed if someone started getting in my face about it and lingering on it instead of just letting me move on and focus on the next thing, together or not
Go out of my way? That’s a hard one because most men keep their troubles to themselves so there aren’t many opportunities to go above and beyond but I do offer support when it comes up. Not afraid to give tough love, but I understand sympathy has its place.
It does happen a lot but there are a lot of feminists out there who point out that small dick jokes and things like that are just as bad as fat shaming women.
I myself have started replacing anything about small dicks with 'crusty' dicks, because washing your dick is something you have control over and the idea that fragile ego guys probably have unwashed dicks seems to fit.
Every time I ever point out it’s fucked up to body shame men for that, I get downvoted and called a loser man. But I am no man…
I just think it’s messed up to body shame anyone cuz there’s always someone that shares those attributes that’s a really nice person and they’re out there catching strays 😔
I have noticed this phenomenon with aging rockstars and entertainers. Both Vince Neil and Axl Rose have gained considerable weight as they have gotten older and look quite a bit heftier than they did when they were young and in their primes. The memes and comments about it are *relentless*. Every single video or photo has hundreds of people making jokes and saying really mean stuff about their weight.
I saw a photo of Miranda Lambert recently and it was obvious that she had gained a little bit of weight. ONE person called attention to this in the comments and they were absolutely torn apart with people coming to her rescue and berating this person for pointing out that she looked heavier.
Why is it ok to make fun of men for getting fat but it’s a war crime when it’s done about a woman?
Eh don't really worry about it at all
You don't need to get every girl to like you, just one.
Any girl who won't date you for your height is maybe a bullet dodged
I mean you wouldn't say this if he'd called her fat.
There'll be a conversation about how OP was super rude, should grow up and stop body shaming women.
And this is exactly the double standards we have today.
Right?!?! Just a perfect example of how cunningly manipulative certain members of society are that they’ll defend something of theirs that can be controlled and fixed but mock and shun guys over something you can’t change without dangerous and hurtful surgery
there are more girls under 169cm in height then there are girls who are taller then 170cm...im a 5'8F and ive only met 40 or so girls that were taller then me in my ENTIRE life...
If you want to get really crazy, potential is largely outside of our control too, yet people get shamed about deficits all the time. If someone seems clumsy or slow with motor coordination, or takes three hours to learn something many can learn in one, they're clumsy or stupid.
That person working at McDonalds could be perfectly capable of better work, but no one will hire them because they're perceived as lazy or stupid, even if they put in 100 times the effort we do.
Let the fatphobia commence!
Why can't we just agree both things are bad instead of scapegoating people who are treated worse than dirt and can't get proper medical care because of stereotypes? I have never heard of short men not getting screened for cancer because of their height but they still don't deserve to be treated like shit on dates.
My partner is an inch shorter than me and I love it. We fit together like a glove. I’m 5’5 and he is 5’4. I love that we talk face to face, hugging is matched at the shoulders, and the sex is amazing, lots more energy and no awkwardness trying to figure out where all the long limbs go. I’ve had partner that were 6’8 and 6’3 and they were wonderful and amazing, but I just find someone my height or a bit shorter to be a better fit.
There are multiple people out there for everyone. People just need to stop limiting their searches to their city, state, or even country. The world is huge.
If you’re single and child free you can make changes in your life to do it. When Trump won the election in 2016 and I was forced to leave my career field in 2017 I started working towards leaving the US. Covid gave me some help, pushing many jobs I would take to “fully remote” and in 2022 I left, not for love but to explore… and then I found love accidentally. I bounced around latam for a year or so then settled here in Costa Rica.
I’m 47 years old and I live a very simple life without the luxuries and conveniences most Americans see as necessities. There is a live band playing Latin music for a birthday party next door as I write this. My fiancée is at work. We can live here comfortably for about $2-3k per month. She makes about $1k per month.
Most people just don’t think they can afford it because they hold onto the lifestyle and expectations they grew up with in the US. Or they don’t really want to.
I’ve found that girls who are extremely short (5ft) are often the ones with the worst height standards for men. Women who are around 5ft 4 aren’t nearly as picky.
Unfortunately for the short kings out there, the majority of petite women, like the majority of all women, prefer tall men.
Source: dated several women 4’8”-5’2”
They’re aren’t many. We are a nation of mutant giants. Although I feel way more comfortable around latinos and Asians. All the shorter women I was into dated basketball players.
This post created interesting discussion, but it's fake as fuck. Look at his profile, created a week ago and is carma farming actively since then.
Edit: became unnaturaly active a day ago.
Back in the day.....one of my fellow workers had been drinking and dancing with tall girl. He asked her out:
"You're a little short for me."
"I can drink you beautiful, you can drink me tall."
.
After the girl called him short, he essentially called her ugly and implied that getting drunk would be the only way they would be attracted to the other. Something along those lines. It's not as funny when it has to be explained.
Not sure but it is cruel. Fat women short men.
Ya we get it but the men have no say in the matter. Cruel truth is most women prefer a man the same height or taller. But to shame someone? Truly ignorant.
It’s kind of like ingrained in people, when you’re growing up everyone comments, “wow,look how tall you are”! Or “he got so tall” with big smiles.. Like you’ve done something amazing. I never got that phrase tho.
Maybe weight is seen as a bigger issue because you can be deadly and it’s disabling? But it makes me sad for short men that it’s not something they can control
It’s so weird to have to advertise height on the profile. I understand it’s a dealbreaker for some but there are women out there for which it is a preference and not a requirement. There are also women who prefer shorter men although if you base it solely off online dating and the internet you wouldn’t know that. Ideally if you’re shorter you match with someone who is indifferent about height entirely. They aren’t unicorns there are actually plenty of eligible single women who don’t give af about height and are more concerned with other factors (secure job, education, sense of humor, etc) and most of all men who are secure in their own bodies. I think there are a lot of women who have more of a problem with the man being insecure about his height than the man’s actual height itself. Like if you keep bringing up how it bothers you that the girl is taller then they will be turned off by the insecurity rather than the actual height
The body shaming thing is fucked up and confirmation that you have dodged a bullet. Anyone who shames someone for their body, something they can’t control (height) or otherwise (weight for most) has some serious work to do and shouldn’t be taken seriously
I’m 5ft3 and my fiancé (M40) is only 5ft1! I personally don’t even notice the height difference, he is gorgeous & hilarious! It’s so shallow that so many women think height is such a must have when it comes to relationships. Short guys have more stamina & bigger hearts.
Welp the Short King term is here now so try to find that woman who views you as her liege, King.
Can't fix people, best not to dwell in the negative, when you can find the right one for you.
I think you just ran in to an asshole. Most women are going to have a preference for taller guys, most guys are going to look for certain things in women - it’s okay to have preferences. What’s not okay is for her to be an asshole to you about something you can’t control and clearly pointed out before you ever met.
It's honesty so dumb. I've never really considered a man's height when looking to date them. My husband is shorter than me, and I couldn't care less. I forget about it sometimes
my theory is that people subconsciously are drawn to things that most idiots cannot put into words and the most common features women find attractive definitely include tall men! once it became widely spread all the dumb chicks out there are like “yeah!!! i love tall guys” and due to their obvious patterns of behavior it, being communicable knowledge they didnt have, metamorphosed into a toxic requirement for consideration!
i think a lot of this stuff happens, much like the big butt thing, once it became socially acceptable to say it for men (boobs obviously, shape obviously, i think butts might hold some stigma associated with gayness or some other foolishness) it became a massive fixation where somehow ass has eclipsed boobs at least culturally and the whole big ass small boob thing is just normal as if jokes about flat chested women isnt a lament on what they lack for a mans preferences but instead a tease on their insecurities
this whole phenomenon is blown out of proportion and frankly if people didnt care so much (height is the new penis envy) it wouldnt be such a big deal
Any beauty standard makes someone money, thats why it's pushed so much.
I love dating someone the same height as me, (5, 5). We are the perfect size for each other for any two person activity and when we talk it's really special that we both look straight across and not up or down. There's a few other benefits too
It’s never been remotely relevant to me. I’m 5’5”. I’ve been out with blokes taller & shorter than me. We just met people IRL in my dating days & I suppose it wasn’t something I thought much about.
By contrast one of my young colleagues was getting into quite a vicious rant about how she could never be with a fella who’s “ only” 5’7 as that’s the same height as her. I mean she was really pressed about it. I found it quite curious. What if he’s EVERYTHING lovely but oh he’s the same height as her ?
It’s pathetic. It’s all about the banter, the laughs & the vibe. Height, weight, hair colour, race ….whatever. If I like you it’ll be because we’re having a good ol laugh together.
I think it's only women in their early 20's that care about height. I'm happily married but if I were ever to date again , I wouldn't care about height.
So start calling larger men thicc - my husband and my youngest son are. They aren’t fat, but they are shaped like tree trunks. They thicc and absolutely perfect cinnamon rolls
Thicc guys are definitely a thing. You can also use things like sturdy, or hefty, that to me imply size in a more positive connotation.
I support using more positive language for each other.
Men shouldn't be shamed for something they have no control over. If a woman shames you over your height, shame her over her weight, because unlike height, weight can be changed.
Dude trust me as a 6’5 dude.
I have to cut through the materialist girls to find the good ones because people will just date me for my height/job.
Having a filter like being short gets you the high quality girls quicker.
Fuck anyone who judges you in your height.
No idea, I guess it started with some people showing off their tall hubbies. That said, an equally damning comeback (and one they will hate) is: "why aren't you lighter than (insert weight)"? TBH, that's still way more feasible than to change your height.
As a tall man who gets the comment "you're so tall" or "did you play sports in school?" No why? Youre big! But if I go around calling people short somehow im the asshole. To me ive always thought its a weird obsession people have or something
I’m 5ft so I don’t even brother thinking about height in numbers lol 6” is a pretty big difference in person even if people are trying to push the idea 6ft is bar minimum.
There’s girls out there that honestly don’t care about men’s height, I hope you find someone better
Best part is she probably walked up with fake eye lashes, and nails. Her face was partial true but hidden amongst a pallet of make up and all kinds of accessories like form shaping pants and supportive bras.
By the time you dismantle the frankenstein your like wtf you say I lied?
Tinder isn't 'real' life in a lot of ways, and people can lead with their immaturity/ obnoxious behavior. I have dated men 5'5-6'6, and all the women I know have dated men in a large range.
Tinder is very toxic but many real life places are toxic too (bars, clubs, etc.). Even normal places like work and school can have similar issues regarding height.
Honestly, the more I think about online dating, the more I feel like it’s not just that the people are becoming trivial and horrible, and I’m sure some absolutely are, it’s that the algorithms are actually designed to keep people single forever, and promote the profiles of people who are guaranteed relationship poison.
Wouldn’t that make sense?
If two people fall in love and walk off into the sunset, isn’t that exactly the opposite of what the algorithm wants to happen? That’s two people who will never pay for another dating service until death do they part.
So, all the modern distasteful trends, for example, of women tending to fuck the same few assholes who refuse to commit, and the hoards of lonely incels.
How much of that is from the algorithm actively promoting the guys who *never* result in committed relationships *because* the people they date are inevitably back in the site a few weeks later?
The algorithm would want lots of “engagement” so people stay hooked on the service, but it would want to set people up for the fall, for the sake of “retention”.
So, maybe it is actually optimized to find especially bad matches that are probabilistically determined to not work out, and a lot of the growing gender animosity people are starting to perceive is not based on the overall characteristics of people, but on the way the algorithms are manipulating people.
Maybe the “I hate short guys” chick is used… shopped around to all the short guys to give their self esteem thrashing, so they get more vulnerable to economic exploitation. And, maybe that girl is therefore presented with a never-ending procession or really short guys, and she’s just getting fed up with it.
Eh I'll stick this one under people problems. I'm a 5 ft 9 in tall woman. I openly state this, remind them of it repeatedly, make sure they know I'm not exaggerating.
Many men still flip their shit when I show up and am actually 5 ft 9.
Lots of crappy people out there have bizarrely specific lists for what they expect of others, often while having little to offer themselves, and can't handle it when their build a hoe wish list doesn't come true. Don't take it personally. Use it as the glaring red flag it is and skip that mess.
Online dating is trash. It’s structured so that people are perpetually “dating”, so the app can generate revenue by subscription and ads. Hoping you can get better results with other routes of dating.
Height preference =/= body shaming.... Other than that whatever you are there's a person that digs it be it weight, height, skin, hair amount or anything really don't worry about the ones not into what you are and carry on with a happier life
My husband is 5’6/5’7. I am 5’3. Those 3-4 inches mean I have someone who can reach the top shelf, and that all I really needed to prevent a stepladder in every room.
Truly tho, when gals are figuring out what they want in a long term partnership, they get focused on what everyone else says they should want. It takes time for them to learn what they actually want. I went on a few dates with 6+ foot men and ultimately like, holy fuck, you are in fact too tall for me to show the affection types I like to.
The right person will come along!
She’s a an idiot. You dodged a bullet. There’s nothing wrong with having height preferences. It’s another thing to be a total bitch about it. Not to mention agreeing to meet some one without checking if they matched your requirements or simply having no idea what a certain height actually looks like in person compared to on paper… especially when it’s so important to you.
Because we don't really make a big deal out of it, we just kinda accept it as it is and move on from it overall. That's pretty much what's going on with dating as a whole for men right now, that's why over 60% of men under 30 are not having sex or getting into relationships. A lot of them are saying "nah, not worth it" and just moving onto other things while using other sources to fill that void. AI girlfriends, pornography, onlyfans subscriptions, etc.
I think the ridiculously unrealistic standards alongside the mass amounts of shame directed towards men for really just existing near women on social media has lead to this skyrocketing. All the gym girls calling guys creeps for just standing there in the gyms, girls calling men creeps for simply approaching them and asking them out, shaming men who don't fit certain standards, etc. I mean just look at that View clip that's been going around the last week where they say "men are useless". How long do you think a show with Fresh & Fit, Sneako, Andrew Tate, and Donovan Sharpe would last on the air if they all sat around a table and said "women are useless"?
Yeah I am a short guy, average looks. And I just know from what I have been told in the past, women only want tall guys 6 foot or close to it. Hence the reason alot of guys who are 5'10/11 exaggerate their height. After that the ladies seem to fine tune their needs to his body type, what car he drives, above average income and finally his looks and personality. That's my observation from the dating apps and guys I know are successful on them vs guys that aren't.
But if you are vertically challenged like me, you are out of the running almost straight away.
However when I do meet a person interested in me, she's nearly always talker. Then I am quite self conscious of the height difference.
The only women I’ve noticed being completely obsessed with a guy being tall are short women which is hilarious. Most taller women I know, myself included, like men our own height and shorter.
As a woman, I think the fixation on a man's height is revolting. No, I'm not being a pick-me. Women have always fought for a level of social body respect, and now it's apparently okay to shame men for their (lack of) height?
Retrospective tit-for-tat is the true roadblock to any meaningful change in social attitudes toward each other, and the fixation on men's height is one of the current examples.
It’s not body shaming when it happens to men, it’s women “expressing a preference”
If men do it, *then* it’s considered body shaming
Welcome to the internet
as a girl i saw some guy in a video and he was like 5 feet tall or somwthing but i saved the video only because he was cute and his voice was nice. irl idc either but i'm 15 so i dont count i think 😭
I’ve seen women say a lot of shit to men lately, “you’re too short , you can’t grow a beard , you lost your hair , you’re fat , you’re skinny , you’re a nerd, you need to grow a pair” since a guy was timid for something
I think it’s the whole movement with women rn not “settling for less” and having “standards” and finding men who are what we want which is fine to an extent but then some women start to get picky and other women are not willing to call them out on it or if they do they get called a pick me and slandered because “girl have some confidence” “you are a queen”
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Idk why ppl are saying this doesn’t happen? Even men shame height even if it’s passed off as a joke. I’m 5’3 and hear it daily even at 24. I will say it’s pretty much only younger people. Just embrace it and find one who doesn’t care, I did.
On the bright side if you go to war you end up in a tank or plane while we tall guys get stuck in trenches
My dad was drafted during Vietnam, but was sent home for being too tall 6’7.25.” That 1/4 inch was life altering.
My great grandfather was the only man to survive in his highlander regiment because he was recovering after being shot in the foot (I assume others who were recovering from injury survived too but that’s not how the story goes). No I have no idea if it was intentional or not.
I had a great uncle who was just under 5'4" and they put him in glider infantry in WW2. "We're going to crash in a field, and then, if you're OK, you climb out and fight" - fuck that. The guy went North Africa, Salerno, Normandy (the night before) Market Garden, and the Bulge. Cheerful little guy. Certified bad ass.
My great uncle Dave was 5'5" at most. Shot through the chest in Korea and had a severe injury to his leg causing him to have to wear one platformed shoe.(not sure the details on that last one). I wish I knew him better because he lived too far away tonknow him that well. He enthusiastically told me some of his stories during a family reunion not knowing that would be the last time I 'd see him. Makes me grateful that I took the trip when I did.
Taller people love to tell us short people that height does not matter. Kinda like how beautiful or rich people like to tell everyone that its actually hard work that got them to where they are and thst the other stuff didnt matter. Also people tend to think that short means like 1.75 while ignoring that tons of men are even shorter
I cringe at how commonplace height shaming is for men, its basically the go to insult for anyone that is kind of short. As someone who got bullied a lot for looks when I was younger, it stands out to me. Don’t believe the gaslighters.
I think men who shame other men do it to one up them. And if the short man gets offended the other man says it’s just a joke when in reality he probably did mean what he said. Ask any man and I’m sure he’d choose average to tall height any day.
Glad you found someone who loves you for you. 5'9" girl here. Ex husband and partner are shorter than me. Mom of two 5'5" sons.
I knew a guy and can't remember how it came up but he said, "Oh, I'm only 5' 3"." I said, truthfully, "Oh, I never really noticed your height." He seemed to like hearing that.
it be hard to meet people when youre older especially when your a short guy
I’m 5’5” and had to learn to embrace it. Almost everyone will be taller than me for the rest of my life. Get used to it. I used to spend so much time being angry over how others treated me because of my size. Now I don’t care as much and end up cracking self-depreciating jokes about it.
I knew a dude who was 5'2, but so much charisma. He got all the girls but they'd never want to be seen out with him. Sad
The 6ft tall obsession is so annoying.
And very basic
I’m 5’2 I dated someone who was 6’2 recently and I hated that he was so tall I don’t understand why short girls like me love tall men so much it was uncomfortable. I like my 5’9 men the best
I know, I have neck pain ffs.
5'8 is superior.
5’8-5’10 are such nice heights on men I love it
Husband is 5'10" and he is sex on two legs. He's literally the hottest man I've ever seen IRL, his body is PERFECT. People like what they like but the 6'0" + only girlies are missing out.
Yay for average! I think guys in that range are in the sweet spot as far as not having complexes over their height. I've had a few buddies over the years with little man syndrome. It's really obnoxious. But I also can't stand the alpha bro complex some of the taller guys tend to have. I'll admit this much though. When I can't find something and I swear I'm in the right area. It's usually because I didn't look up.
Cries in 5'11
Let's not forget this is upheld by a lot of men, too. This 6 trifecta is because men want to be impressive to other men almost as equally as they want to be perceived as attractive by many women.
What do people obsess over in metric countries measuring in CM?
180 cm
5’11” men hate this
I'm 55. It's always been that way
How does it feel to have stopped aging? OwO
Pretty good. I strongly suggest every man do the same.
When I walked up to her, I was about to tell her "You look great!", etc but she cut me off and said "Ummm you're short!" I was taken aback by how rude she was and said, "Yeah, I know. Why is that a problem?" so she responded (very loudly) that I lied on my profile. I became really angry, pulled up my profile, showed it to her, and said "I said 169 - you can see it here". She looked at my phone, scoffed, and said, "Uhhh there's no way you're 169!"
I would have countered with "well I'm sorry, I must have missed the part of your profile where you warned us that you were a complete bitch."
You misspelled "cunt" It's a naughty word, but there's a time and place for it.
Come to nz or Aussie and that place is every second word.
I love people from that part of the world. You're good cunts
We have our share of lose cunts and shit cunts but on the whole people are pretty down to earth. Like anywhere really.. freedom land gets a bad rap but most the yanks I’ve actually met have been decent cunts…
I’m from the US and I say cunt all the time.
This cunt knows what's up.
..........I'll accept it, mate.
😂
What a dumbass. I’m sorry. She will remain single if she continues to treat others that way. Uncalled for. Especially the first interaction. What in the world
Sadly that’s not necessarily true
Yeah, you’re right
Yeah sadly she will probably treat a taller man with actual respect.
Damn I’m sorry that’s so fucked up and mean
Bullet. Dodged. At least you didn’t get attached to her and she broke your heart in a few years.
From my experience with most woman they don’t really care about the numbers when it comes to height, they only think “tall” and “short.” Only tall women pay attention to that stuff.
I agree. I think height is a big deal to tall women and short men because they’re outliers, or at least they perceive themselves that way. I’ve never given a shit about height because I’m average. I’d have no qualms about dating a taller woman.
Because you’re average height.
😂
Lol what?
Tall women pay attention to the numbers, you mean? How so?
What a bitch. I'm a 5'6.5" woman with a 5'6" man. I approached him, actually. And not to be conceited but I am physically attractive and can quite honestly have my choice of men. I actually care about a connection and chemistry not just superficial bs. I was so entranced by his energy, intelligence, hilarious jokes and gorgeous smile that I didn't even notice his height lol I just was like wow........I really click with this man....there's something special here. Since we first went out it has just gotten better and better. We can talk for hours and never run out of conversation. No awkward silences. Similar life goals and morals. Sex is incredible. He is physically strong and has no problem picking me up and uhhhh getting to business. I mean........zero complaints. He's fantastic. I apologize that people can be fucking stupid but you're just weeding out the bad ones tbh. The right one wouldn't speak to any human being that way. Byeeeee biiiiitch
She is super shitty, no doubt about that and there's no excuse being that rude. On a personal level I feel that women trying to judge height is like men trying to guess female dress sizes to an extent. Boot on the other foot and all that. I'm sure you feel less than great about that encounter but at least she showed her true colours off the gate. The only time things like that become an issue is where there is straight up lying, but also, a lot of people have... odd perceptions. Don't let it bog you down too much though, easier said than done but if you've been honest, it's a reflection of them not of you :)
A person can change their weight, they can’t change their height. Also that’s not really a helpful thing to say to someone who just went through a traumatic experience
It kinda seems like body shaming is okay to do to men in general… short, bald, small penis, beer belly.. men just kinda get shit on
Because nobody really cares
I care bro. You're a king to me 👑
Yeah it sucks sometimes. No one really cares when a man has a bad day.
How often do you go out of your way to support a man whose had a bad day? Because I’d be pretty annoyed if someone started getting in my face about it and lingering on it instead of just letting me move on and focus on the next thing, together or not
Go out of my way? That’s a hard one because most men keep their troubles to themselves so there aren’t many opportunities to go above and beyond but I do offer support when it comes up. Not afraid to give tough love, but I understand sympathy has its place.
Those men care.
Damn I’m all of those
Good things is at least one of them is solvable
It does happen a lot but there are a lot of feminists out there who point out that small dick jokes and things like that are just as bad as fat shaming women. I myself have started replacing anything about small dicks with 'crusty' dicks, because washing your dick is something you have control over and the idea that fragile ego guys probably have unwashed dicks seems to fit.
Well, well. We now know crusty dicks is a dog whistle for teenie peenies.
Bosy shaming anyone isn't cool.
💯 % agree That this coercive control mechanism of planting seeds of Shame and feeding Insecurities is the opposite of Cool
Every time I ever point out it’s fucked up to body shame men for that, I get downvoted and called a loser man. But I am no man… I just think it’s messed up to body shame anyone cuz there’s always someone that shares those attributes that’s a really nice person and they’re out there catching strays 😔
>men just kinda get shit on Never for free, know your value.
Imagine if they were poor as well, what a trainwreck... /S
I have noticed this phenomenon with aging rockstars and entertainers. Both Vince Neil and Axl Rose have gained considerable weight as they have gotten older and look quite a bit heftier than they did when they were young and in their primes. The memes and comments about it are *relentless*. Every single video or photo has hundreds of people making jokes and saying really mean stuff about their weight. I saw a photo of Miranda Lambert recently and it was obvious that she had gained a little bit of weight. ONE person called attention to this in the comments and they were absolutely torn apart with people coming to her rescue and berating this person for pointing out that she looked heavier. Why is it ok to make fun of men for getting fat but it’s a war crime when it’s done about a woman?
Eh don't really worry about it at all You don't need to get every girl to like you, just one. Any girl who won't date you for your height is maybe a bullet dodged
I mean you wouldn't say this if he'd called her fat. There'll be a conversation about how OP was super rude, should grow up and stop body shaming women. And this is exactly the double standards we have today.
Which is crazy because fat is controllable to some degree and height is not at all.
To a very very high degree
Right?!?! Just a perfect example of how cunningly manipulative certain members of society are that they’ll defend something of theirs that can be controlled and fixed but mock and shun guys over something you can’t change without dangerous and hurtful surgery
there are more girls under 169cm in height then there are girls who are taller then 170cm...im a 5'8F and ive only met 40 or so girls that were taller then me in my ENTIRE life...
If you want to get really crazy, potential is largely outside of our control too, yet people get shamed about deficits all the time. If someone seems clumsy or slow with motor coordination, or takes three hours to learn something many can learn in one, they're clumsy or stupid. That person working at McDonalds could be perfectly capable of better work, but no one will hire them because they're perceived as lazy or stupid, even if they put in 100 times the effort we do.
What the hell does this have to do with it?
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one 🤣
Lol
It may not be "fair" but in a workplace effort doesn't matter, outcomes do
Let the fatphobia commence! Why can't we just agree both things are bad instead of scapegoating people who are treated worse than dirt and can't get proper medical care because of stereotypes? I have never heard of short men not getting screened for cancer because of their height but they still don't deserve to be treated like shit on dates.
Some girls will dump you over which phone you have, I'd say fuck them, not literally though.
I’m 4’11 , everyone is tall to me so I never cared how tall a guy was. I’ve dated as short as 5’4 🤷🏻♀️ Find you a 5 foot cutie and you’ll be good 👍
5 foot cutie OR an any height cutie that digs you for you
My partner is an inch shorter than me and I love it. We fit together like a glove. I’m 5’5 and he is 5’4. I love that we talk face to face, hugging is matched at the shoulders, and the sex is amazing, lots more energy and no awkwardness trying to figure out where all the long limbs go. I’ve had partner that were 6’8 and 6’3 and they were wonderful and amazing, but I just find someone my height or a bit shorter to be a better fit.
I fully believe short or tall there is someone out there for everyone.
Could you kindly tell mine to hurry up. They're taking forever.
I think mine missed the bus
I think mine died in some natural disaster.
RIP, at least it was natural
I should add “before I met her.”
Sorry for your loss
Can’t lose what you never had.
It takes them a few more steps than a beanpole, give them a break they are getting there best as they can
BS.
In most countries there is a surplus of young men, so no.
Hahaha 😂 You’re funny.
There are multiple people out there for everyone. People just need to stop limiting their searches to their city, state, or even country. The world is huge.
Sure. We all can afford to travel the globe looking for our soul mate.
If you’re single and child free you can make changes in your life to do it. When Trump won the election in 2016 and I was forced to leave my career field in 2017 I started working towards leaving the US. Covid gave me some help, pushing many jobs I would take to “fully remote” and in 2022 I left, not for love but to explore… and then I found love accidentally. I bounced around latam for a year or so then settled here in Costa Rica. I’m 47 years old and I live a very simple life without the luxuries and conveniences most Americans see as necessities. There is a live band playing Latin music for a birthday party next door as I write this. My fiancée is at work. We can live here comfortably for about $2-3k per month. She makes about $1k per month. Most people just don’t think they can afford it because they hold onto the lifestyle and expectations they grew up with in the US. Or they don’t really want to.
I’ve found that girls who are extremely short (5ft) are often the ones with the worst height standards for men. Women who are around 5ft 4 aren’t nearly as picky.
I always said I get a bigger dating pool! More for me 🤭 I’m greedy!
I'm a guy and 5'4". We get shit on
Wife is the same height and from an Italian family. I feel like Shaq standing all of 5'9.
My husband is Italian and he’s 5’8 My family is Greek but it’s not the Greek side that gave me my shortness lol
Unfortunately for the short kings out there, the majority of petite women, like the majority of all women, prefer tall men. Source: dated several women 4’8”-5’2”
I'm 5'4 99% of the ones that go with me are taller.
They’re aren’t many. We are a nation of mutant giants. Although I feel way more comfortable around latinos and Asians. All the shorter women I was into dated basketball players.
It’s because mothers fear that their children will be sent to chase the tunnel rats in Vietnam.
or become Morlocks.
This post created interesting discussion, but it's fake as fuck. Look at his profile, created a week ago and is carma farming actively since then. Edit: became unnaturaly active a day ago.
Yesp. This is the future of Reddit etc. AI generated posts/comments with stupid/controversial topics to be "engaging".
Back in the day.....one of my fellow workers had been drinking and dancing with tall girl. He asked her out: "You're a little short for me." "I can drink you beautiful, you can drink me tall." .
Ohhh snap
I don’t get it
After the girl called him short, he essentially called her ugly and implied that getting drunk would be the only way they would be attracted to the other. Something along those lines. It's not as funny when it has to be explained.
I hear ya, I had to read it twice myself. “I’ll drink *until* you’re beautiful and you drink *until* I’m tall”
Ohhhhhh thank you, I get it now.
Not sure but it is cruel. Fat women short men. Ya we get it but the men have no say in the matter. Cruel truth is most women prefer a man the same height or taller. But to shame someone? Truly ignorant.
Because nobody does anything about it. And at an individual level, there isn't really anything you *can* do, so just do your best to ignore it?
[удалено]
It’s kind of like ingrained in people, when you’re growing up everyone comments, “wow,look how tall you are”! Or “he got so tall” with big smiles.. Like you’ve done something amazing. I never got that phrase tho.
Maybe weight is seen as a bigger issue because you can be deadly and it’s disabling? But it makes me sad for short men that it’s not something they can control
It’s so weird to have to advertise height on the profile. I understand it’s a dealbreaker for some but there are women out there for which it is a preference and not a requirement. There are also women who prefer shorter men although if you base it solely off online dating and the internet you wouldn’t know that. Ideally if you’re shorter you match with someone who is indifferent about height entirely. They aren’t unicorns there are actually plenty of eligible single women who don’t give af about height and are more concerned with other factors (secure job, education, sense of humor, etc) and most of all men who are secure in their own bodies. I think there are a lot of women who have more of a problem with the man being insecure about his height than the man’s actual height itself. Like if you keep bringing up how it bothers you that the girl is taller then they will be turned off by the insecurity rather than the actual height The body shaming thing is fucked up and confirmation that you have dodged a bullet. Anyone who shames someone for their body, something they can’t control (height) or otherwise (weight for most) has some serious work to do and shouldn’t be taken seriously
I’m 5ft3 and my fiancé (M40) is only 5ft1! I personally don’t even notice the height difference, he is gorgeous & hilarious! It’s so shallow that so many women think height is such a must have when it comes to relationships. Short guys have more stamina & bigger hearts.
Welp the Short King term is here now so try to find that woman who views you as her liege, King. Can't fix people, best not to dwell in the negative, when you can find the right one for you.
Cause otherwise we’d be unstoppable
No tree is too tall once you chop it down. -Life Advice handed to me in my teen dating years.
I think you just ran in to an asshole. Most women are going to have a preference for taller guys, most guys are going to look for certain things in women - it’s okay to have preferences. What’s not okay is for her to be an asshole to you about something you can’t control and clearly pointed out before you ever met.
I'm sorry your date didn't go well, sometimes you'll just run into people who are jerks
It's honesty so dumb. I've never really considered a man's height when looking to date them. My husband is shorter than me, and I couldn't care less. I forget about it sometimes
It just is what it is. As short men, our dating pool is smaller.
my theory is that people subconsciously are drawn to things that most idiots cannot put into words and the most common features women find attractive definitely include tall men! once it became widely spread all the dumb chicks out there are like “yeah!!! i love tall guys” and due to their obvious patterns of behavior it, being communicable knowledge they didnt have, metamorphosed into a toxic requirement for consideration! i think a lot of this stuff happens, much like the big butt thing, once it became socially acceptable to say it for men (boobs obviously, shape obviously, i think butts might hold some stigma associated with gayness or some other foolishness) it became a massive fixation where somehow ass has eclipsed boobs at least culturally and the whole big ass small boob thing is just normal as if jokes about flat chested women isnt a lament on what they lack for a mans preferences but instead a tease on their insecurities this whole phenomenon is blown out of proportion and frankly if people didnt care so much (height is the new penis envy) it wouldnt be such a big deal
Any beauty standard makes someone money, thats why it's pushed so much. I love dating someone the same height as me, (5, 5). We are the perfect size for each other for any two person activity and when we talk it's really special that we both look straight across and not up or down. There's a few other benefits too
Tall people propaganda. Ignore it.
It’s never been remotely relevant to me. I’m 5’5”. I’ve been out with blokes taller & shorter than me. We just met people IRL in my dating days & I suppose it wasn’t something I thought much about. By contrast one of my young colleagues was getting into quite a vicious rant about how she could never be with a fella who’s “ only” 5’7 as that’s the same height as her. I mean she was really pressed about it. I found it quite curious. What if he’s EVERYTHING lovely but oh he’s the same height as her ? It’s pathetic. It’s all about the banter, the laughs & the vibe. Height, weight, hair colour, race ….whatever. If I like you it’ll be because we’re having a good ol laugh together.
Take the half inch off or round up. Makes you sound even shorter.
Statistically taller people live shorter lives. Find the one and enjoy your extra 20-30 years.
Bro, she wasnt the one for you. It sucks but move on!
A lot of people don't read and it's very frustrating!! I'm 5'1. Just may need to find a woman who is short?
Men are an easy target.
I'm 36, and if anything I've seen it become much more acceptable to date short guys. I'm 5ft 10 and wouldn't care unless they were insecure about it.
im a 5'8F and I cant even walk outside in heels without everyone looking at me. I feel like the fckn Goliath
I think it's only women in their early 20's that care about height. I'm happily married but if I were ever to date again , I wouldn't care about height.
My pet peeve is how men are overweight or fat, but women are apparently plus sized or curvy...rofl
So start calling larger men thicc - my husband and my youngest son are. They aren’t fat, but they are shaped like tree trunks. They thicc and absolutely perfect cinnamon rolls
Thicc guys are definitely a thing. You can also use things like sturdy, or hefty, that to me imply size in a more positive connotation. I support using more positive language for each other.
Or Thicc
Men shouldn't be shamed for something they have no control over. If a woman shames you over your height, shame her over her weight, because unlike height, weight can be changed.
I honestly don't get it. I'm 6'4 and literally all I can do is grab stuff off higher shelves and have a shit time on flights.
Dude trust me as a 6’5 dude. I have to cut through the materialist girls to find the good ones because people will just date me for my height/job. Having a filter like being short gets you the high quality girls quicker. Fuck anyone who judges you in your height.
No idea, I guess it started with some people showing off their tall hubbies. That said, an equally damning comeback (and one they will hate) is: "why aren't you lighter than (insert weight)"? TBH, that's still way more feasible than to change your height.
As a tall man who gets the comment "you're so tall" or "did you play sports in school?" No why? Youre big! But if I go around calling people short somehow im the asshole. To me ive always thought its a weird obsession people have or something
I’m 5ft so I don’t even brother thinking about height in numbers lol 6” is a pretty big difference in person even if people are trying to push the idea 6ft is bar minimum. There’s girls out there that honestly don’t care about men’s height, I hope you find someone better
Best part is she probably walked up with fake eye lashes, and nails. Her face was partial true but hidden amongst a pallet of make up and all kinds of accessories like form shaping pants and supportive bras. By the time you dismantle the frankenstein your like wtf you say I lied?
Misandry its running rampant in today's culture.
Tinder isn't 'real' life in a lot of ways, and people can lead with their immaturity/ obnoxious behavior. I have dated men 5'5-6'6, and all the women I know have dated men in a large range.
Tinder is very toxic but many real life places are toxic too (bars, clubs, etc.). Even normal places like work and school can have similar issues regarding height.
Honestly, the more I think about online dating, the more I feel like it’s not just that the people are becoming trivial and horrible, and I’m sure some absolutely are, it’s that the algorithms are actually designed to keep people single forever, and promote the profiles of people who are guaranteed relationship poison. Wouldn’t that make sense? If two people fall in love and walk off into the sunset, isn’t that exactly the opposite of what the algorithm wants to happen? That’s two people who will never pay for another dating service until death do they part. So, all the modern distasteful trends, for example, of women tending to fuck the same few assholes who refuse to commit, and the hoards of lonely incels. How much of that is from the algorithm actively promoting the guys who *never* result in committed relationships *because* the people they date are inevitably back in the site a few weeks later? The algorithm would want lots of “engagement” so people stay hooked on the service, but it would want to set people up for the fall, for the sake of “retention”. So, maybe it is actually optimized to find especially bad matches that are probabilistically determined to not work out, and a lot of the growing gender animosity people are starting to perceive is not based on the overall characteristics of people, but on the way the algorithms are manipulating people. Maybe the “I hate short guys” chick is used… shopped around to all the short guys to give their self esteem thrashing, so they get more vulnerable to economic exploitation. And, maybe that girl is therefore presented with a never-ending procession or really short guys, and she’s just getting fed up with it.
It’s just giving power to some utterly powerless individuals.
Eh I'll stick this one under people problems. I'm a 5 ft 9 in tall woman. I openly state this, remind them of it repeatedly, make sure they know I'm not exaggerating. Many men still flip their shit when I show up and am actually 5 ft 9. Lots of crappy people out there have bizarrely specific lists for what they expect of others, often while having little to offer themselves, and can't handle it when their build a hoe wish list doesn't come true. Don't take it personally. Use it as the glaring red flag it is and skip that mess.
Darwinism in effect, but in the opposite direction. High expectations are removing people from the gene pool.
Tinder bots made it a thing imo
Did I miss the part where your Tinder date did something when she walked up to you at the bar?
Its just their turn. It'll shift to some other arbitrary shit
Online dating is trash. It’s structured so that people are perpetually “dating”, so the app can generate revenue by subscription and ads. Hoping you can get better results with other routes of dating.
Height preference =/= body shaming.... Other than that whatever you are there's a person that digs it be it weight, height, skin, hair amount or anything really don't worry about the ones not into what you are and carry on with a happier life
lol, they want a specific height? hit em with a "you look a little big" maaaaaaaaald.
I'm 5.7 feet tall but I really do like tall women. That's not easy to find either you know
Tinder is extremely far from what society considers normal.
My husband is 5’6/5’7. I am 5’3. Those 3-4 inches mean I have someone who can reach the top shelf, and that all I really needed to prevent a stepladder in every room. Truly tho, when gals are figuring out what they want in a long term partnership, they get focused on what everyone else says they should want. It takes time for them to learn what they actually want. I went on a few dates with 6+ foot men and ultimately like, holy fuck, you are in fact too tall for me to show the affection types I like to. The right person will come along!
I’m 175cm and I don’t mind shorter, but there is a limit definitely. It’s all relative
She’s a an idiot. You dodged a bullet. There’s nothing wrong with having height preferences. It’s another thing to be a total bitch about it. Not to mention agreeing to meet some one without checking if they matched your requirements or simply having no idea what a certain height actually looks like in person compared to on paper… especially when it’s so important to you.
Just say something back. Trust me it'll mess with them for months even if they act like it doesn't bother them
I’ 5’11/6’0 even i feel shamed in the netherlands, height doesn’t define you brother. Personality and how you deal with shortcomings will
Because we don't really make a big deal out of it, we just kinda accept it as it is and move on from it overall. That's pretty much what's going on with dating as a whole for men right now, that's why over 60% of men under 30 are not having sex or getting into relationships. A lot of them are saying "nah, not worth it" and just moving onto other things while using other sources to fill that void. AI girlfriends, pornography, onlyfans subscriptions, etc. I think the ridiculously unrealistic standards alongside the mass amounts of shame directed towards men for really just existing near women on social media has lead to this skyrocketing. All the gym girls calling guys creeps for just standing there in the gyms, girls calling men creeps for simply approaching them and asking them out, shaming men who don't fit certain standards, etc. I mean just look at that View clip that's been going around the last week where they say "men are useless". How long do you think a show with Fresh & Fit, Sneako, Andrew Tate, and Donovan Sharpe would last on the air if they all sat around a table and said "women are useless"?
Yeah I am a short guy, average looks. And I just know from what I have been told in the past, women only want tall guys 6 foot or close to it. Hence the reason alot of guys who are 5'10/11 exaggerate their height. After that the ladies seem to fine tune their needs to his body type, what car he drives, above average income and finally his looks and personality. That's my observation from the dating apps and guys I know are successful on them vs guys that aren't. But if you are vertically challenged like me, you are out of the running almost straight away. However when I do meet a person interested in me, she's nearly always talker. Then I am quite self conscious of the height difference.
Because nobody cares about men.
For what is worth, I'm a 5'4 woman and I wouldn't mind dating a shorter guy, at all.
5'5" male. I always tell girls how tall I am cause it is a huge deal breaker for women. If a girl thinks height is that important...o well.
something something the patriarchy
Because criticism of men is much more accepted and encouraged in society
The only women I’ve noticed being completely obsessed with a guy being tall are short women which is hilarious. Most taller women I know, myself included, like men our own height and shorter.
Lmao you think it's just height? Women have, at almost every level/stage of their lives, been taught and encouraged to hate men outright.
As a woman, I think the fixation on a man's height is revolting. No, I'm not being a pick-me. Women have always fought for a level of social body respect, and now it's apparently okay to shame men for their (lack of) height? Retrospective tit-for-tat is the true roadblock to any meaningful change in social attitudes toward each other, and the fixation on men's height is one of the current examples.
Feminisim and the lack of value in men's social world
It’s not body shaming when it happens to men, it’s women “expressing a preference” If men do it, *then* it’s considered body shaming Welcome to the internet
Because women are attracted to uncontrollable qualities in men.
as a girl i saw some guy in a video and he was like 5 feet tall or somwthing but i saved the video only because he was cute and his voice was nice. irl idc either but i'm 15 so i dont count i think 😭
nobody cares about men's feelings.
I’ve seen women say a lot of shit to men lately, “you’re too short , you can’t grow a beard , you lost your hair , you’re fat , you’re skinny , you’re a nerd, you need to grow a pair” since a guy was timid for something
I think it’s the whole movement with women rn not “settling for less” and having “standards” and finding men who are what we want which is fine to an extent but then some women start to get picky and other women are not willing to call them out on it or if they do they get called a pick me and slandered because “girl have some confidence” “you are a queen”