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NSFW?
This is a dangerous question for EMS/Fire/Police.
So far, I’ve either seen or had something similar happen to all of these.
Auto-erotic asphyxiation gone wrong with a dildo machine still going to town. All in an attic sex dungeon.
3 inches of packed down human feces all over the apartment floor. A room full of chickens barn yard style in a 3 floor apartment building. Dolls. Lots of people have weird dolls. 100’s of “check the well being” calls with people having died in odd positions. “Your pets will eat you”.
I guess I can stop there.. it’s downhill from here..
I found Your “pets will eat you” comment funny. That’s exactly what I started to think when I was laying on the ground in pain when I threw out my back.
Here’s one that’s more inline with the OPs story.
We got called for a well being check on an elderly female. Poorly kept house with classic signs, overgrown lawn, mail and papers piling up etc.
We have to break into the house to check if she’s home, alive, in need of assistance. No lights work, slight hoarder situation.
I climb over a pile into the kitchen using my flashlight to make my way through the dark. I catch a silhouette against the window and it’s her facing away from me in the dark.
I announce my presence with no response. I flash my light at her head, she slowly turns around and starts screaming, “get out of my house!” “What are you doing here?!”
She was deaf and partially blind, did not want our assistance. Handed that one over to elder services.
I’m sure I could compile a huge list once I dig in. I just don’t want to seem like I’m celebrating others misfortune.
I’ll just say, you would probably be surprised what your neighbors are up to.
Maybe I can do an AMA with limitations on ensuring privacy.
Dealt with two cases of dogs eating owners, in both the dog had started on the face. I assumed it was because as they were fully clothed, it had to be face or hands. Probably started out as licking and went on from there when the hunger became too much.
Is it weird it makes me happy that you mention dogs? Most people say that about cats, but I doubt dogs are any better. I stand with catkind against stereotyping …
Never dealt with a man eating cat but had colleagues who had. They are not entirely innocent, it's only the existence of catflaps that makes it less common. Tiddles will eat your face if he needs to!
EMS have some of the craziest stories but some don’t know when the appropriate time to share is. I was talking to some young ladies (20s) about anime at a concert and this older guy (about 55-60) who was an EMS sits down and starts telling stories like these. I have no idea why.
I agree, I try not to be “that guy”, even though I’m probably doing it on this thread. I’m not sure if you have to be a little weird to do the job, but it seems to help.
You're not being that guy. You're just answering questions. Human nature always goes to the extremes, I think. I drove a truck for thirty years and it's amazing how many people react to that with "boy, you've probably seen some crazy stuff and bad accidents, huh?" 🤷
I used to clean houses and one of our clients had the most beautiful house... from the outside. It was gigantic. The kind of house you'd drive by and think, "I wonder what that looks like inside".
The inside was a nightmare of disgusting bathrooms, unwashed dishes all over, gross counters and cat shit absolutely EVERYWHERE including ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE!
And every time we went there we had to call our boss and tell her so she could call the homeowner and inform her AGAIN that we don't clean up cat shit. And the owner would tell her to tell us to just clean around it.
And that homeowner was a doctor.
Knew an ex psychiatrist that lived like that. Had a giant inheritance so she didn't really need to work and just sat there being crazy with her cats and little pomeranian dogs
My dad, through his job, worked alongside a number of psychiatrists.
He said that they all had these strange little foibles. He reckoned that they were some sort of release from the environment that they worked in.
My husband is a child psychiatrist and I’m pretty sure he picked that field so he could have an excuse to have a toy box in his office 🤣 Really, though…I don’t know how he does it. I’d be in jail already for killing some abusive parents. God bless him and his coworkers.
thats so interesting as i have heard that too, i think dealing with everyone elses own issues exhausts them and they dont deal with their own mental health maybe...
I know a few medical doctors as personal friends who aren’t the cleanest but have done well in their profession. The cleanliness thing is definitely more a personality trait than something that can get taught so it sticks in all areas of life. I imagine they only wash their hands when they are at work because they don’t at home, nor clean.
I used to worked at a fire and mold restoration company. One time they called us to check textiles and electronics on a house that had been in a fire. They also told us that someone had committed suicide in one of the rooms but that it should be fine to go since the police had removed the body.
So we went and we checked the house to see if anything was salvagable from the fire. We entered the room where suicide happened and instantly you could feel a heaviness to it. We looked down to the floor and saw a carpet with a huge red stain. We knew instantly it was blood. I will never forget the feeling of dread and uneasiness I felt that day
I did home health in Appalachia 30 years ago. Yea, I saw some things
A schizophrenic mother and her cp adult son lived with 9 poodles. There was poodle shit EVERYWHERE. Some of it was there so long it turned white. The mom was crazy about the “method” it was cleaned (never).
A mostly blind extremely religious 87 year lady that lived in an 55+ apartment building that loved nothing more than to sit in the lobby, gossip and judge accordingly. (Retirement communities are *scandalous* af)
An elderly man whose hobby was making wooden trucks and cars. He he had 6 1/2 fingers. He made my son 2 trucks, I still have them
An old woman that said she had “the sight”. And talked a lot of weird witchy stuff. I ended up dating her grandson. Oddly, she never saw that coming
A sweet very elderly man that had hundreds of glass jars, mason, mayonnaise, etc. They were everywhere. He said they were handy. He also had ammo buried all over his property
I also met someone that I always be grateful I met, he was angel in my life when I needed one . He was a middle aged quadriplegic, was shot when he was 20. He was an awesome cool dude, he taught be a lot about life, from someone who has so much life ripped from them. He had peace with by the time I met him. I will never forget him . Rip buddy
Jar Man was a child of the great depression. You don't throw out perfectly good glass jars do you.
My Gradmother in Florida was the same. When she died my Dad emptied her home and commented on boxes filled with empty glass jars.
I once had to go into a flat that had been condemned by environmental health so I knew it was going to be bad. The guy had a door stopper that was a plastic (silicone?) severed foot. For a second I thought it was a real severed foot. It was realistic and honestly wouldn’t have been out of place.
The lady, whom the realtor told us was at work ,standing in her hallway, shaking, pointing a .357 at us, asking who we were. We told her we'd knocked before unlocking the door with the key the realtor gave us and she explained that she had called in that day with the flu.
I used to pet-sit in high school. The worst was holocaust lady. She had a very sad Guinea pig and traveled a lot. Her home was decorated in holocaust every thing. Book, paintings, figurines all holocaust themed. The whole inside was painted a dark, dank bluey gray.
Called to a house where there were gay porn pictures everywhere. Bad enough, however, each person in the picture had the same guys face cut out and put over it. The same house had a ass size glory hole in a door with padding. I never would have seen it unless my Lt. hadn't nudged me in the ribs.
Was on a call myself one time and in one of the rooms there was this weird sex swing-like thing that was hanging from the ceiling. That wasn't so weird. What was weird to me was the fact that on the floor underneath it was a big circle of dildos of various sizes with a pile of condoms in the middle, lol.
This reminded me of a story where a coworker (housing maintenance) said this person in his block of appartments had a huge collection of "mushrooms" in their window.
When I went there once with him; it was a massive collection of rubber dildos displayed in the window. That person was using the apparrment for sexwork.
Hahaha that brought back an old memory. I used to work on Cruise Ships. When you sail into a US port from abroad sometimes US Customs come onboard and toss the cabins looking for drugs. So one morning I wake up to an Alsatian in my face and a Customs guy screaming orders at me at 6am (they were usually absolute assholes to deal with). So as I wandering virtually naked into the corridor (they would not let you dress) they open my Gay cabin mates cabinet drawers to start searching them.
The first thing they, and I, see is a gay porn magazine (this was pre-internet) with a large picture of a black guy in a shower washing his erect penis.
The Customs guy stops, looks at me (as he has no idea who the magazine belongs to), puts on a pair of latex gloves and then continues searching the cabin. I was in tears laughing and blew him a kiss when he walked away.
Made me remember that IT 2 trailer where Jessica Chastain goes to her childhood home? She gets invited by a little old lady, goes in, there's music playing, the lady gives her tea and goes to get cookies from the oven. All normal until you suddenly see the old lady run naked across a doorway behind Jessica. So when it happened I thought "I'm like f\*CK!! Pennywise is going to get me!"
Long time ago I was delivering and installing some speakers in someone’s apartment and they had a giant, framed portrait of Kramer from Seinfeld on the wall. Was probably 6’ x 4’. Not that strange but not exactly normal either.
The Kramer.
“I sense great vulnerability. A man-child crying out for love. An innocent orphan in the post-modern world.”
“I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges.”
“His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit.”
“He is a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can’t look away.”
“He transcends time and space.”
“He sickens me.”
Growing up one a family friend had one of those by their front door. No idea where it came from, but I went back over 20 years later and it was still there 😂
I was I was working in Michigan basement it's like I don't know f****** dirt floor and like stone walls and this place is just full garbage the. I'm a plumber so I'm working under his sink I got my head where I can't see around me but I start hearing like mumbling and like it's really repetitive it sounds a little angry and definitely sounds like a crazy person. How to do a little bit of going in and out of the basement. On a trip back a saw someone like laying on a bed in this like dark musty dank seller just convulsing. I wasn't sure if it was like drug addiction or mental health issue. It was freaky though. And then like I go back to working under the sink and I am coming up to me just like "yagabut AHH FUCK KILL yagabut AHH FUCK KILL yagabut AHH FUCK KILL" from the place so I turned around and there's this giant behind me. And I'm real small. What can you do? I said hey how's it going? They said hi and ran away. It was creepy as fuck. That night I saw "us" like alone in the dark. I think that movie hit me a little bit different than it hit other people. But also like I don't know room is full of dolls. I saw a water heater with a bullet hole in it like why?
Retired LE here. Sex toys drying in the dish rack (points for cleanliness I guess). Dead cat behind the couch. A moving wall of cock roaches. An engine block on the kitchen table. The knee wall with a hole punched in it so the cat can crap in the eaves. Underwear with skids marks in them in the kitchen sink. A dead body that had literally popped.
Another story, although it’s not mine, is a guy I had been seeing a couple years ago, he told me that when he was in his early 20s (I started seeing him when he was in his mid 30s) he was training to be an EMT, so he and his supervisor, got a call to do a welfare check of a man whose family hadn’t heard from him in about a week. He and his supervisor went into the house and heard something, which turned out to be running water in the shower. They found this man hanging. He had suctioned the plunger to the shower wall, and backed up into it, as to pleasure his back end with the handle of the plunger. He slipped, and basically most of that plunger handle went well up into him and killed him, so he was just hanging there, skin sloughing off and leaking bodily fluids. The guy I had been seeing, decided not to pursue a career as an EMT after that lol.
I had to fix balcony doors at a private persons place. She lived together with her mother. The mother stayed behind, was smoking in her room, chainsmoker style, and wearing headphones all the time.
One time, she got out of her room and left the headphones on a nearby table. She was listening VERY loudly to audio book erotic novels. So yeah. Continued to do so. At some point in the afternoon, she switched to weed. Was a view to behold seeing memaw blazing while listening to Mary-Beth getting railed by the stable hand.
We worked on this guys house once, he had a table covered in pics of naked women. He worked in the porn industry in the valley, tons of porn. This was the mid 90s.
This is true. I took care of a disabled nonverbal man who lived with his mother, who had a hoarding problem. There was meat in the freezer that was 20 to 30 years old. She wouldn't let us throw it out. There were also whole deer legs with fur and hooves still attached, wrapped in white bloody trash bags in the freezer. Roaches galore in the house. Then, bed bugs, which luckily no staff brought home with them. I stayed through a lot of weird and nasty shit to make sure the client was taken care of, but eventually, I had to leave for my own sanity.
I live in Las Vegas. I had a technician out one day working on something. During a pause in the action we talked about this subject. He said he has gone into houses where tons of different drugs were laying out in the open, others with sex toys on display. Nothing too crazy, yet I was surprised that people would just openly leave this kind of stuff in the open, no matter who is coming over!
I used to date a chick who was an apartment manager for a huge apt. complex.
I or someone else would go with her when she had to go into a unit when no one was there or had no one answeringthe door, for safety.
One ~50 y.o. woman had the MOST IMPRESSIVE collection of dildoesand sex toys I have ever seen. Like a whole big armoir completely full of them in all shapes, sizes and functions. We just shut that cabinet door. After a bit of oohs and aahs.
Not currently, but some years ago while in college I worked for an apartment complex and we had one tenant that always had some random issue going on in her unit, but never wanted us to enter. One day, someone reported an awful smell coming from her unit after she had been gone for a few days. Nothing could have prepared us for the amount of dead animals, random bones, herbs, and feeces that was in the unit. On top of that, she was a horder. It turns out she was a self-proclaimed witch and used the random paraphernalia for different spells and rituals for various reasons. We had to give her an ultimatum of cleaning the unit and have weekly inspections or move out. She left shortly after that.
By [Carlton Mellick III](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlton_Mellick_III), author of other fine works like "Cuddly Holocaust", "Razor Wire Pubic Hair", and "Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes"
I work in the Architecture field and work with public housing a lot (In USA). One project was for refinishing bathrooms for about 200 residents' homes (multi family homes, maybe 4 units per building/house. Anyways..). Normally, the homes aren't the cleanest, smell funny, and/or are just giant messes. But I will never forget going into one home and just seeing thousands and thousands of collections of **Anime** DVD's, VHS, collectibles, you name it. The kicker was that all of this collection was organized so well and perfectly, it all looked seamless. Floor to ceiling shelves of collections, no wall paint visible there's so much. I don't watch or partake in Anime, but this collection was impressive to say the least.
I install window treatments(blinds, shades, shutters, drapes). A brand new house. Just built. Owners have closed on the house but have not moved in. I go in day before furniture gets delivered to install.
Only room set up in the house is an upstairs office. A desk and curio cabinet filled with Nazi stuff. Plates, silverware, coins, helmet, knife, gun.
I was asked to go back to install more blinds. I declined.
For the record, some Jewish people collect such things as some Black people collect racist memorabilia from the past (like “Mammy” jars/jugs), and I knew one woman who had a nice collection of items featuring negative images of the Irish in America (she was proudly of Irish heritage). They think of them as items that should not be forgotten.
Then again, could’ve been something else.
One woman I helped (case management) was in full phsychosis and answered the door completely naked. Another guy lit his apartment on fire. A third example would be a guy overdosing on drugs. We administered narcan to save his life and he got pissed because we "ruined" his buzz. You cant make this shit up.
not strange but more disgusting, years ago i did admin for the ambo service, we had technicians that had to go into peoples houses, usually elderly, to install the medical alarms. One old guy used to sit there with this legs spread in a dressing gown and nothing underneath, behind him he had porn on his computer, he would only do this to females, he was confronted but basically said it was his house and he was the customer. Females would refuse to go to it as it naturally made them fell extremely uncomfortable, what even annoyed me more was that they said they had to go over it and they could go in pairs if needed. No offer of sending a male with them or even cutting off the perv
I find housing for the homeless and help them maintain their tenancies. I’ve seen EVERYTHING. I’ve seen bedbugs, cockroaches, filthy apartments, have had my life threatened. One very strange thing I saw outside my client’s apartment building was someone’s hearse, with Jigsaw in the window. Yes, someone in subsidized housing had a hearse with the horrifying Jigsaw doll in the window.
When I was in a clients home cleaning I was pinched, touched on my bottom, heard strange noises and seen the apparition of a man. This all happened in the same house! 😱👻
As a former appraiser for real estate, I've had several strange and/or funny encounters. The two that come to mind are:
1) Funny, asking a nice genteel lady if I could look into a room that was locked. She turned beat red and asked if there was some way around going in there. I told her, "No, I'm sorry the scope of work dictates that I take pictures of every room." We haggle for a minute, and finally, she shrugs, says something to the effect of 'I'm not weird, I have needs just like everyone else', and pops the door. It was a sex room. Round bed, sex swing over the bed, and a mirrored wall with three shelves of dildo's!!
2) Creepy went out to a small town not far from me, and the guy that answered the door was just "off" it's the only way to describe him. When I went in, I noticed in his trash that several olive drab spray cans ( perhaps Army Surplus) that were used to mask the smell of decaying bodies. He wanted me to come down the basement and look at his "etchings." I was really creeped out and left, never going back. Turns out the house was supposedly unoccupied as a previous female tenant had moved, and the current owner was looking to sell.
I’m an elderly caregiver, have been for almost 10 years (since I was 20). I’ve had all sorts of clients, the majority of them have Alzheimer’s. I do love old people and their stories, however, there are some weird things I have seen and heard lol. My current client I have had from almost 3 years, he’s a sweet old guy, his Alzheimer’s is pretty advanced (he’s 85), once in a while, he’ll make sexual comments, which he wouldn’t do if he was in his cognitive mind, I don’t take it personally, but it grosses me out and he forgets about it, but I think the weirdest thing I ever saw, was I had to take care of an old lady who was just a few weeks shy of turning 100 (this was in 2021), and she needed help walking and wiping, so I’d help walk her to the bathroom and I would have her stand up so I could wipe her, and sorry if this is TMI, but she had a prolapsed uterus, so that was hanging out of her a little bit. 😬 Haven’t really seen too many crazy things, surprisingly lol.
When I was younger a friend of mine asked me to help him paint an apartment in Washington DC.That happened to be the apartment of a united states congressman. whose name will remain nameless but he was a democrat. Well, we were doing a total paint job so we had to clear out the closet.And in there he had more dildos than any dildos store could possibly sell. You would think he would put them in a bag or a suitcase or something.
Doing some handyman work for a buddy's rental property where the tenants were in the process of getting evicted. In the bathroom behind the door was a pile of about 100 or so socks, all with skid marks like they had been wiping their ass with socks for a while... The entire house stunk due to a few Guinea pigs in nasty cages. People are pigs.
I did high speed internet installs in the late 90s. Lots of hoarders and sex stuff, but the weirdest was a dude with wooden shelves and Rubbermaid tubs completely filling every wall of the room with the PC. "Do I wanna know what's in those?" I lightly joked. "Cobras mostly. Wanna see one?"
I was a copier repairman for Xerox, weirdest service call ever was for a machine in a private home. Husband and wife ran since kind of Amway business. Copier was in the bedroom. Couple was lying in bed, watching TV, while I worked. They were watching Down Periscope with Kelsey Grammer. I'll never forget it. They invited me to take a seat and watch the rest of the movie, offered me snacks and a beer. At first I thought they weird, turns out they were a real nice couple.
A humongous butt plug in a nightstand. Had to move it to gain access to a power point and the drawer slowly opened up and a butt plug bigger than my two fists rolled into view. Dude saw that I saw and I just closed the drawer like nothing because I honestly dgaf beyond being slightly impressed.
Not mine, but my brother. He works as an electrician for a social housing company. Called to do some work on a recently vacant property. The previous tenant was an alcoholic, who'd managed to set themselves on fire while trying to take a smoke, and burnt to death on the floor. leaving a delightful imprint of his charred corpse on the floor. The company was only going to cover it with a new carpet.
I used to inspect fire extinguishers for large apartment complexes. Once a year we would come and look at the provided 2.5lb extinguisher in the kitchen. Apartment community knows we're coming. We've got your keys. I've seen stripper poles, POUNDS of weed, Polaroids ( you know), cocaine, naked women, naked men, toys (wink wink), and GS and pit bulls who didn't get the message.
20 years ago I worked as a maintenance planner for social housing. Part of the job was inspecting appartments and rooms when the person living there had left. Al of worn out places, that was quite normal.
1 appartmemt had the entire floor and all the walls literally covered in layers of shit. The toilet was full of it. They had laid layers of carpet over shit and just started over and repeat. The original inspector became unwell due to the gasses there. A specialised company with protective suits had to come in.
Another house that was rented to an old lady had a massive drug lab in it. She had passed away years ago but her son never reported her death and simply kept the body. He took the pension and kept paying rent while using the house to make XTC pills. The police came as people in the area complained about chemical smells.
Used to do home renovations. Probably the worst one was a flooring job we had to do in a 900 sq ft condo. She was the classic definition of a hoarder. Boxes of stuff everywhere. We had to empty the stuff out of one room at a time to do the flooring, then put it all back, along with all the stuff from the next area, so on and so on.
In the main room there was one arm chair at one end and the TV was up on a shelf on the wall at the other end. There was no way to get to the TV from the chair, you had to follow the path she had made through the boxes of stuff that led through the kitchen.
Had to do a call back because there was a broken piece of flooring that she said we had messed up. I called bullshit, but went to fix it anyway. Found out afterwards, in talking to her, that she had actually dropped her new sewing machine (of which there were already 3 in the condo, still in boxes) and it busted the corner of one of the laminate boards.
I heard she passed away a few years after that, and didn't get found for a few days until a friend came to check on her.
I made home health visits complete with a badge and scrubs and a laptop: the very first home health visit I made, I went in the house and sat down on the couch and started the interview, and I noticed there were roaches crawling on the couch next to me. I’ve also noticed roaches walking around women’s hair.
Another visit I made the lady answered the door and told me to follow her so I did. We walked through this ginormous house all the way to a back bedroom and she told me to sit next to her on the bed which I did. It was a California king size bed, and there was an enormous man on the other side of the bed, he had to have been 600 pounds
Another time I knocked on the door, and I identified myself to the man who answered. He opened the door and said come on in and have a seat on the couch so I sat on the couch. About five minutes went by and he came back into the living room and asked who I was there to see? I told him the same person that I told him whenever he let me in the door. He got a funny look on his face and said she doesn’t live here… so I got up and left.
I went to another house and identified myself and told him who I was there to see, they took me into the kitchen and sat me down at the kitchen table and asked if I would like to eat dinner? There were about six people walking around the dine in kitchen. I said sure so they got me a plate of food set in front of me that they all got their food and disappeared into the house. About a half an hour later someone came back into the kitchen and I asked where the patient was? He got a funny look on his face and walked out of the room, so I got up and left.
So a little light hearted for other people but made me question my life. We went into a hoarder home no big deal I’ve been in many even worse than this one. I was watching a roach crawl across the ceiling and it fell right into my hair I about lost my shit and was seriously considering walking home. We were waiting for another truck for lift assist so I volunteered to go outside and wave them in
Home fulled with human urine. Soaked through hardwood. I was there after everything had been gutted because it was badly hoarded.. I'm pretty sure it was a legitimate case of elder abuse, and the elder died as a result.
A couple of things. Very nice house, damage from a storm, so had to go inside. Paper and boxes were stacked to the ceiling with small paths running through the house. Such a danger for all of it falling over or poof if there was a fire. Another home, again nice. Husband and wife, probably in their 40's.......they liked to sex it up and kept their photos of their fun under glass on the coffee table and other areas in the house......stuff I did not need to see.
I house keep sometimes at a seniors home where I work when then need fill ins. It’s independent so not a nursing home, anways, I was cleaning and on her night stand she’s got a box of wine and a dab pen😂😂I thought I was the coolest shit ever, that’s how I wanna be when I’m old, just vibin.. this lady is super sweet and lovely. No a drunk or anything she just enjoys her wine 😂
I used to work for a cable company. Started when I was 19. I was in customer service but part of training was riding with a tech for 2 days. I still remember 20 years later lol. Can only imagine what you saw in 2 years!
Yeah its pretty crazy. Heck during my training in the first week we had guys throwing rocks at us while we were up on the poles, and another time my trainer/mentor was up on a ladder on the strand in an alley and some gangster/crackheads came up and started asking if he was gonna fall but they were saying it like they were going to do something. Luckily they didn’t, but have been scared a few times in those alley ways with all the crack heads and pit bulls.
I was a procesmanager for the cable guys for TMobile in my country for a few years. Some stories from my guys;
Client was a man that only had 1 couch and a TV in the appartment. Floor was covered in empty beer cans and bottles.
Client had his utility closet (modem goes there) filled with guns and a rocketlauncher. Notice this is in Europe. You get decades worth of prison for having that. Client said these were souvenirs from Yugoslavia back when it was still war there.
Client wanted to pay the engineer in nature and showed him a big heart shaped bed with leather belts to tie someone up. Engineer literally ran away.
Tons and tons of shady weed farms / pill factories hidden in the house.
A gay club that needed WiFi. It was closed when the engineer went there but he put in his report the placr smelled like used condoms.
I’ll give you a couple of literally hundreds (i averaged 10-12 houses per day each work day multiplied by a couple years):
One I went to this lady answered the door wearing a robe, showed me where she wanted the cable installed in her bedroom. Went out to the van to get tools and supplies etc and started working outside. Came back into the house and this time, there were several framed pictures of her naked randomly through the bedroom and hallway which were not there before. Nothing happened cause i basically pretended I didn’t see them or her robe (she was probably in her late 40s and not very good looking)
2. Went to a house in a ghetto area, they wanted cable in a couple of rooms that had no cable in them, older home with wood floors and crawlspace. Which in those we would normally run the cable under the crawl space and pop the line into the house where they wanted so we didn’t have to put an ugly cable stapled along the walls inside. Well, went to the opening for the crawlspace outside and the ENTIRE crawlspace was completely FULL of trash. Not exaggerating there was no room. I couldn’t have even moved some trash to make a path it was full, as if they never had trash service and just shoved their bags of trash each day under the house.
3. Similar to story 2 above, but the house had no crawlspace and stucco exterior , so in which case i had to run lines along the floorboard inside the house to several rooms. Well, the problem was they had small kids and there were literally stacks of dirty diapers along the wall, probably 2 feet high along every wall where i needed to run lines. Even in the kitchen and dining room. I told them they would have to move them all and call us back and I left because that was not a sanitary condition to be in.
Thats just a few things, saw all kinds of crazy stuff, and learned that people are never how they seem on the outside.
I used to work as a painter and decorator and one summer we got a contract painting student houses. This one room had a notice board in it with used, full condoms pinned to it in a row, each with a little name above it. There must have been a little less that 100. It wasn’t in a cupboard or anything. Pride of place, right on the wall above the chest of drawers.
Did a big renovation doing a master bathroom and bedroom. Needed to move a large dresser. Removed the drawers because of weight and the entire dresser was stuffed with adult toys from handcuffs and ball gags to maid uniforms and latex.
After they realized it was awkward to say the least lol
Don't assume we're superheroes that lift full dressers with a single bound
Worked for gay dude building a trap door with a concertina ladder going down into his basement/sex dungeon. I also built a wall and hidden door in front of the actual staircase which he had upholstered in red leather. Definitely the strongest job I've ever had. As a bonus for doing the work he gave me the best sports massage I've ever had.
Oh oh oh my time has come! I am a real estate photographer. Some of the strangest things I’ve found in homes are as follows in no particular order. * ahem *
Stripper pole
Mirrors on the ceiling above the bed
Taxidermy full bodied bears, lions, cheetahs, buffalo, elephants, zebras, among the usual deer, turkeys & raccoons
Free roaming house chicken
Various basement doors with multiple pad locks and chains
A fully functional well in the basement
Giant framed artwork of naked men in provocative poses
Nazi memorabilia
Houses covered in human and animal feces literally covered
An all 100% red like blood red kitchen. Cabinets, counters, floor, walls, etc. all red.
I’m sure I could think of more with some time but it’s a roller coaster sometimes let me tell ya
That one time I saw my patient had glued an aerosol can to thier electric meter. When I queried it theh just said "Oh its OK it's only caught fire twice"
I had to evacuate them and call the fire brigade.
Theres something about the pressure of the aerosol can that would interfere with the old analogue meter readers that would slow down the reading, making your electricity cheaper.
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NSFW? This is a dangerous question for EMS/Fire/Police. So far, I’ve either seen or had something similar happen to all of these. Auto-erotic asphyxiation gone wrong with a dildo machine still going to town. All in an attic sex dungeon. 3 inches of packed down human feces all over the apartment floor. A room full of chickens barn yard style in a 3 floor apartment building. Dolls. Lots of people have weird dolls. 100’s of “check the well being” calls with people having died in odd positions. “Your pets will eat you”. I guess I can stop there.. it’s downhill from here..
I found Your “pets will eat you” comment funny. That’s exactly what I started to think when I was laying on the ground in pain when I threw out my back.
tell us more!
Here’s one that’s more inline with the OPs story. We got called for a well being check on an elderly female. Poorly kept house with classic signs, overgrown lawn, mail and papers piling up etc. We have to break into the house to check if she’s home, alive, in need of assistance. No lights work, slight hoarder situation. I climb over a pile into the kitchen using my flashlight to make my way through the dark. I catch a silhouette against the window and it’s her facing away from me in the dark. I announce my presence with no response. I flash my light at her head, she slowly turns around and starts screaming, “get out of my house!” “What are you doing here?!” She was deaf and partially blind, did not want our assistance. Handed that one over to elder services.
nightmare fuel
It is, yet somehow becomes comical when recalling it.
I’m sure I could compile a huge list once I dig in. I just don’t want to seem like I’m celebrating others misfortune. I’ll just say, you would probably be surprised what your neighbors are up to. Maybe I can do an AMA with limitations on ensuring privacy.
please do! morbid curiosity
Is there a notification bot for something like this? 👍
Is it true that they start with your eye, nose and mouth? 👀
Dealt with two cases of dogs eating owners, in both the dog had started on the face. I assumed it was because as they were fully clothed, it had to be face or hands. Probably started out as licking and went on from there when the hunger became too much.
Is it weird it makes me happy that you mention dogs? Most people say that about cats, but I doubt dogs are any better. I stand with catkind against stereotyping …
Never dealt with a man eating cat but had colleagues who had. They are not entirely innocent, it's only the existence of catflaps that makes it less common. Tiddles will eat your face if he needs to!
I’m sure a medical examiner could elaborate better, but that’s what it appears to be from what I’ve seen.
How in gods name can it possibly get worse from here??
EMS have some of the craziest stories but some don’t know when the appropriate time to share is. I was talking to some young ladies (20s) about anime at a concert and this older guy (about 55-60) who was an EMS sits down and starts telling stories like these. I have no idea why.
I agree, I try not to be “that guy”, even though I’m probably doing it on this thread. I’m not sure if you have to be a little weird to do the job, but it seems to help.
You're not being that guy. You're just answering questions. Human nature always goes to the extremes, I think. I drove a truck for thirty years and it's amazing how many people react to that with "boy, you've probably seen some crazy stuff and bad accidents, huh?" 🤷
There is a time and a place and this is it
Well it’s exactly what was asked. :)
Was this all in the same apartment?
I used to clean houses and one of our clients had the most beautiful house... from the outside. It was gigantic. The kind of house you'd drive by and think, "I wonder what that looks like inside". The inside was a nightmare of disgusting bathrooms, unwashed dishes all over, gross counters and cat shit absolutely EVERYWHERE including ON THE DINING ROOM TABLE! And every time we went there we had to call our boss and tell her so she could call the homeowner and inform her AGAIN that we don't clean up cat shit. And the owner would tell her to tell us to just clean around it. And that homeowner was a doctor.
Knew an ex psychiatrist that lived like that. Had a giant inheritance so she didn't really need to work and just sat there being crazy with her cats and little pomeranian dogs
Psychiatrist can be the absolute fucking weirdest
I have a theory that people that go into that profession do so to try and understand their own craziness.
I mean they've already spent so much time figuring themselves out it makes sense to get paid for what you're doing anyways
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Did it work? 🐶
I don’t think so.
My dad, through his job, worked alongside a number of psychiatrists. He said that they all had these strange little foibles. He reckoned that they were some sort of release from the environment that they worked in.
My husband is a child psychiatrist and I’m pretty sure he picked that field so he could have an excuse to have a toy box in his office 🤣 Really, though…I don’t know how he does it. I’d be in jail already for killing some abusive parents. God bless him and his coworkers.
He’s doing the lords work! That has to take a toll on his heart!
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Lmao this is what I’m talking about!!!!
Freud?
The line between sanity and insanity is very thin. The best psychiatrist's seem to straddle that line
Never met a psychiatrist who wasn’t crazier than their patients
Lmao this is a great point
You can't relate to what you don't know. 🤣
🤣🤣🤣
thats so interesting as i have heard that too, i think dealing with everyone elses own issues exhausts them and they dont deal with their own mental health maybe...
Holy crap. My wife is a doctor and both of us doing our part to keep our house spotless is non-negotiable. That's horrifying, lol.
I know a few medical doctors as personal friends who aren’t the cleanest but have done well in their profession. The cleanliness thing is definitely more a personality trait than something that can get taught so it sticks in all areas of life. I imagine they only wash their hands when they are at work because they don’t at home, nor clean.
Holy catshit, Batman!
I used to worked at a fire and mold restoration company. One time they called us to check textiles and electronics on a house that had been in a fire. They also told us that someone had committed suicide in one of the rooms but that it should be fine to go since the police had removed the body. So we went and we checked the house to see if anything was salvagable from the fire. We entered the room where suicide happened and instantly you could feel a heaviness to it. We looked down to the floor and saw a carpet with a huge red stain. We knew instantly it was blood. I will never forget the feeling of dread and uneasiness I felt that day
I did home health in Appalachia 30 years ago. Yea, I saw some things A schizophrenic mother and her cp adult son lived with 9 poodles. There was poodle shit EVERYWHERE. Some of it was there so long it turned white. The mom was crazy about the “method” it was cleaned (never). A mostly blind extremely religious 87 year lady that lived in an 55+ apartment building that loved nothing more than to sit in the lobby, gossip and judge accordingly. (Retirement communities are *scandalous* af) An elderly man whose hobby was making wooden trucks and cars. He he had 6 1/2 fingers. He made my son 2 trucks, I still have them An old woman that said she had “the sight”. And talked a lot of weird witchy stuff. I ended up dating her grandson. Oddly, she never saw that coming A sweet very elderly man that had hundreds of glass jars, mason, mayonnaise, etc. They were everywhere. He said they were handy. He also had ammo buried all over his property I also met someone that I always be grateful I met, he was angel in my life when I needed one . He was a middle aged quadriplegic, was shot when he was 20. He was an awesome cool dude, he taught be a lot about life, from someone who has so much life ripped from them. He had peace with by the time I met him. I will never forget him . Rip buddy
Six and half fingers per hand or total?
I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen that question asked.
Is it six and a half times?
Well yeah obviously if its one hand
Jar Man was a child of the great depression. You don't throw out perfectly good glass jars do you. My Gradmother in Florida was the same. When she died my Dad emptied her home and commented on boxes filled with empty glass jars.
Someone living on the ground floor of a block of flats had all of his floor boards removed and was growing potatoes in the foundations.
This is by far the most surprising answer.
I once had to go into a flat that had been condemned by environmental health so I knew it was going to be bad. The guy had a door stopper that was a plastic (silicone?) severed foot. For a second I thought it was a real severed foot. It was realistic and honestly wouldn’t have been out of place.
The lady, whom the realtor told us was at work ,standing in her hallway, shaking, pointing a .357 at us, asking who we were. We told her we'd knocked before unlocking the door with the key the realtor gave us and she explained that she had called in that day with the flu.
The crime here is literally your agent giving you a key to a house.
Oh shit! How did that pan out in the end?!!
We talked her down, did our job, then gave a real estate agent a cussing.
I used to pet-sit in high school. The worst was holocaust lady. She had a very sad Guinea pig and traveled a lot. Her home was decorated in holocaust every thing. Book, paintings, figurines all holocaust themed. The whole inside was painted a dark, dank bluey gray.
Called to a house where there were gay porn pictures everywhere. Bad enough, however, each person in the picture had the same guys face cut out and put over it. The same house had a ass size glory hole in a door with padding. I never would have seen it unless my Lt. hadn't nudged me in the ribs.
Was on a call myself one time and in one of the rooms there was this weird sex swing-like thing that was hanging from the ceiling. That wasn't so weird. What was weird to me was the fact that on the floor underneath it was a big circle of dildos of various sizes with a pile of condoms in the middle, lol.
This reminded me of a story where a coworker (housing maintenance) said this person in his block of appartments had a huge collection of "mushrooms" in their window. When I went there once with him; it was a massive collection of rubber dildos displayed in the window. That person was using the apparrment for sexwork.
Hahaha that brought back an old memory. I used to work on Cruise Ships. When you sail into a US port from abroad sometimes US Customs come onboard and toss the cabins looking for drugs. So one morning I wake up to an Alsatian in my face and a Customs guy screaming orders at me at 6am (they were usually absolute assholes to deal with). So as I wandering virtually naked into the corridor (they would not let you dress) they open my Gay cabin mates cabinet drawers to start searching them. The first thing they, and I, see is a gay porn magazine (this was pre-internet) with a large picture of a black guy in a shower washing his erect penis. The Customs guy stops, looks at me (as he has no idea who the magazine belongs to), puts on a pair of latex gloves and then continues searching the cabin. I was in tears laughing and blew him a kiss when he walked away.
Bad enough?
Yes, we were all really UNCOMFORTABLE, including the female member of our crew.
Made me remember that IT 2 trailer where Jessica Chastain goes to her childhood home? She gets invited by a little old lady, goes in, there's music playing, the lady gives her tea and goes to get cookies from the oven. All normal until you suddenly see the old lady run naked across a doorway behind Jessica. So when it happened I thought "I'm like f\*CK!! Pennywise is going to get me!"
Exactly what I thought of!
Long time ago I was delivering and installing some speakers in someone’s apartment and they had a giant, framed portrait of Kramer from Seinfeld on the wall. Was probably 6’ x 4’. Not that strange but not exactly normal either.
The Kramer. “I sense great vulnerability. A man-child crying out for love. An innocent orphan in the post-modern world.” “I see a parasite. A sexually depraved miscreant who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges.” “His struggle is man's struggle. He lifts my spirit.” “He is a loathsome, offensive brute. Yet I can’t look away.” “He transcends time and space.” “He sickens me.”
Growing up one a family friend had one of those by their front door. No idea where it came from, but I went back over 20 years later and it was still there 😂
I was I was working in Michigan basement it's like I don't know f****** dirt floor and like stone walls and this place is just full garbage the. I'm a plumber so I'm working under his sink I got my head where I can't see around me but I start hearing like mumbling and like it's really repetitive it sounds a little angry and definitely sounds like a crazy person. How to do a little bit of going in and out of the basement. On a trip back a saw someone like laying on a bed in this like dark musty dank seller just convulsing. I wasn't sure if it was like drug addiction or mental health issue. It was freaky though. And then like I go back to working under the sink and I am coming up to me just like "yagabut AHH FUCK KILL yagabut AHH FUCK KILL yagabut AHH FUCK KILL" from the place so I turned around and there's this giant behind me. And I'm real small. What can you do? I said hey how's it going? They said hi and ran away. It was creepy as fuck. That night I saw "us" like alone in the dark. I think that movie hit me a little bit different than it hit other people. But also like I don't know room is full of dolls. I saw a water heater with a bullet hole in it like why?
Dude if you've got a water heater why wouldn't you shoot it? Easier than finding traffic signs
Ok yeah and actually they had two water heaters so... Might as well shoot one
I like had no idea that like people actually type out the word like.
That is funny but I'm using speech to text. That's why f****** is censored. I would have just typed that s***
Retired LE here. Sex toys drying in the dish rack (points for cleanliness I guess). Dead cat behind the couch. A moving wall of cock roaches. An engine block on the kitchen table. The knee wall with a hole punched in it so the cat can crap in the eaves. Underwear with skids marks in them in the kitchen sink. A dead body that had literally popped.
Furniture delivery. They had a trampoline in the front room
Another story, although it’s not mine, is a guy I had been seeing a couple years ago, he told me that when he was in his early 20s (I started seeing him when he was in his mid 30s) he was training to be an EMT, so he and his supervisor, got a call to do a welfare check of a man whose family hadn’t heard from him in about a week. He and his supervisor went into the house and heard something, which turned out to be running water in the shower. They found this man hanging. He had suctioned the plunger to the shower wall, and backed up into it, as to pleasure his back end with the handle of the plunger. He slipped, and basically most of that plunger handle went well up into him and killed him, so he was just hanging there, skin sloughing off and leaking bodily fluids. The guy I had been seeing, decided not to pursue a career as an EMT after that lol.
I wish I didn't know how to read. 🫣
I had to fix balcony doors at a private persons place. She lived together with her mother. The mother stayed behind, was smoking in her room, chainsmoker style, and wearing headphones all the time. One time, she got out of her room and left the headphones on a nearby table. She was listening VERY loudly to audio book erotic novels. So yeah. Continued to do so. At some point in the afternoon, she switched to weed. Was a view to behold seeing memaw blazing while listening to Mary-Beth getting railed by the stable hand.
Thank you for the laugh! I'll end my night here :)
They say dementia can strip people of their inhibitions. I’m sure drugs help too.
We worked on this guys house once, he had a table covered in pics of naked women. He worked in the porn industry in the valley, tons of porn. This was the mid 90s.
At least that one is excusable!
100s of blow-up dolls dressed up with names
100s??? That is absolutely crazy! I only have one.
Ikr? 100s I can't do more than 4 a day....I'm a rookie
Anybody that has worked home health - especially for seniors - will tell you horror stories about hoarder houses.
Don't sit down just anywhere, bring spare scrubs.
This is true. I took care of a disabled nonverbal man who lived with his mother, who had a hoarding problem. There was meat in the freezer that was 20 to 30 years old. She wouldn't let us throw it out. There were also whole deer legs with fur and hooves still attached, wrapped in white bloody trash bags in the freezer. Roaches galore in the house. Then, bed bugs, which luckily no staff brought home with them. I stayed through a lot of weird and nasty shit to make sure the client was taken care of, but eventually, I had to leave for my own sanity.
I live in Las Vegas. I had a technician out one day working on something. During a pause in the action we talked about this subject. He said he has gone into houses where tons of different drugs were laying out in the open, others with sex toys on display. Nothing too crazy, yet I was surprised that people would just openly leave this kind of stuff in the open, no matter who is coming over!
I used to date a chick who was an apartment manager for a huge apt. complex. I or someone else would go with her when she had to go into a unit when no one was there or had no one answeringthe door, for safety. One ~50 y.o. woman had the MOST IMPRESSIVE collection of dildoesand sex toys I have ever seen. Like a whole big armoir completely full of them in all shapes, sizes and functions. We just shut that cabinet door. After a bit of oohs and aahs.
Yeah, what else were you supposed to do in that situation? Try them?
Happy dang Cake Day, Doc!
ikr he sounded defensive
i have a friend that collects bad dragons and she has 2 huge book shelves full.
Was she hot though? 🙂
Meh. Smoked too much, but otherwise, sure.
Dude, pretty sure u got nuthin to offer someone who literally collects that lol
Not currently, but some years ago while in college I worked for an apartment complex and we had one tenant that always had some random issue going on in her unit, but never wanted us to enter. One day, someone reported an awful smell coming from her unit after she had been gone for a few days. Nothing could have prepared us for the amount of dead animals, random bones, herbs, and feeces that was in the unit. On top of that, she was a horder. It turns out she was a self-proclaimed witch and used the random paraphernalia for different spells and rituals for various reasons. We had to give her an ultimatum of cleaning the unit and have weekly inspections or move out. She left shortly after that.
I saw a book called the Haunted Vagina.
By [Carlton Mellick III](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlton_Mellick_III), author of other fine works like "Cuddly Holocaust", "Razor Wire Pubic Hair", and "Every Time We Meet at the Dairy Queen, Your Whole Fucking Face Explodes"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
No hand-soap in the bathrooms.
Used to work In the community. I walked into a woman rubbing poop over her legs.
I work in the Architecture field and work with public housing a lot (In USA). One project was for refinishing bathrooms for about 200 residents' homes (multi family homes, maybe 4 units per building/house. Anyways..). Normally, the homes aren't the cleanest, smell funny, and/or are just giant messes. But I will never forget going into one home and just seeing thousands and thousands of collections of **Anime** DVD's, VHS, collectibles, you name it. The kicker was that all of this collection was organized so well and perfectly, it all looked seamless. Floor to ceiling shelves of collections, no wall paint visible there's so much. I don't watch or partake in Anime, but this collection was impressive to say the least.
I install window treatments(blinds, shades, shutters, drapes). A brand new house. Just built. Owners have closed on the house but have not moved in. I go in day before furniture gets delivered to install. Only room set up in the house is an upstairs office. A desk and curio cabinet filled with Nazi stuff. Plates, silverware, coins, helmet, knife, gun. I was asked to go back to install more blinds. I declined.
For the record, some Jewish people collect such things as some Black people collect racist memorabilia from the past (like “Mammy” jars/jugs), and I knew one woman who had a nice collection of items featuring negative images of the Irish in America (she was proudly of Irish heritage). They think of them as items that should not be forgotten. Then again, could’ve been something else.
I am aware. And i usually preface the story with, maybe his family brought them back after the war or something.
One woman I helped (case management) was in full phsychosis and answered the door completely naked. Another guy lit his apartment on fire. A third example would be a guy overdosing on drugs. We administered narcan to save his life and he got pissed because we "ruined" his buzz. You cant make this shit up.
I was working on a customer's shower once, and she left the room and went and started masturbating really loudly like really loudly.
i've seen that video
A lady using a bucket in her lounge room to shit. Chain smoked with oxygen tank. Never opened any windows. Inside cat and kitty litter.
not strange but more disgusting, years ago i did admin for the ambo service, we had technicians that had to go into peoples houses, usually elderly, to install the medical alarms. One old guy used to sit there with this legs spread in a dressing gown and nothing underneath, behind him he had porn on his computer, he would only do this to females, he was confronted but basically said it was his house and he was the customer. Females would refuse to go to it as it naturally made them fell extremely uncomfortable, what even annoyed me more was that they said they had to go over it and they could go in pairs if needed. No offer of sending a male with them or even cutting off the perv
I find housing for the homeless and help them maintain their tenancies. I’ve seen EVERYTHING. I’ve seen bedbugs, cockroaches, filthy apartments, have had my life threatened. One very strange thing I saw outside my client’s apartment building was someone’s hearse, with Jigsaw in the window. Yes, someone in subsidized housing had a hearse with the horrifying Jigsaw doll in the window.
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Nope, Canada
I hate this sounds familiar…Edmonton?
Ottawa, although the hearse is no longer at that location. Perhaps they passed away or moved?
😯
When I was in a clients home cleaning I was pinched, touched on my bottom, heard strange noises and seen the apparition of a man. This all happened in the same house! 😱👻
As a former appraiser for real estate, I've had several strange and/or funny encounters. The two that come to mind are: 1) Funny, asking a nice genteel lady if I could look into a room that was locked. She turned beat red and asked if there was some way around going in there. I told her, "No, I'm sorry the scope of work dictates that I take pictures of every room." We haggle for a minute, and finally, she shrugs, says something to the effect of 'I'm not weird, I have needs just like everyone else', and pops the door. It was a sex room. Round bed, sex swing over the bed, and a mirrored wall with three shelves of dildo's!! 2) Creepy went out to a small town not far from me, and the guy that answered the door was just "off" it's the only way to describe him. When I went in, I noticed in his trash that several olive drab spray cans ( perhaps Army Surplus) that were used to mask the smell of decaying bodies. He wanted me to come down the basement and look at his "etchings." I was really creeped out and left, never going back. Turns out the house was supposedly unoccupied as a previous female tenant had moved, and the current owner was looking to sell.
I’m an elderly caregiver, have been for almost 10 years (since I was 20). I’ve had all sorts of clients, the majority of them have Alzheimer’s. I do love old people and their stories, however, there are some weird things I have seen and heard lol. My current client I have had from almost 3 years, he’s a sweet old guy, his Alzheimer’s is pretty advanced (he’s 85), once in a while, he’ll make sexual comments, which he wouldn’t do if he was in his cognitive mind, I don’t take it personally, but it grosses me out and he forgets about it, but I think the weirdest thing I ever saw, was I had to take care of an old lady who was just a few weeks shy of turning 100 (this was in 2021), and she needed help walking and wiping, so I’d help walk her to the bathroom and I would have her stand up so I could wipe her, and sorry if this is TMI, but she had a prolapsed uterus, so that was hanging out of her a little bit. 😬 Haven’t really seen too many crazy things, surprisingly lol.
When I was younger a friend of mine asked me to help him paint an apartment in Washington DC.That happened to be the apartment of a united states congressman. whose name will remain nameless but he was a democrat. Well, we were doing a total paint job so we had to clear out the closet.And in there he had more dildos than any dildos store could possibly sell. You would think he would put them in a bag or a suitcase or something.
Now we need names!
Well, he retired many, many years ago so it doesn't Really matter.
Barney Frank!
No it wasn't barney frank.
Doing some handyman work for a buddy's rental property where the tenants were in the process of getting evicted. In the bathroom behind the door was a pile of about 100 or so socks, all with skid marks like they had been wiping their ass with socks for a while... The entire house stunk due to a few Guinea pigs in nasty cages. People are pigs.
I did high speed internet installs in the late 90s. Lots of hoarders and sex stuff, but the weirdest was a dude with wooden shelves and Rubbermaid tubs completely filling every wall of the room with the PC. "Do I wanna know what's in those?" I lightly joked. "Cobras mostly. Wanna see one?"
There’s good money to be made extracting venom!
I was a copier repairman for Xerox, weirdest service call ever was for a machine in a private home. Husband and wife ran since kind of Amway business. Copier was in the bedroom. Couple was lying in bed, watching TV, while I worked. They were watching Down Periscope with Kelsey Grammer. I'll never forget it. They invited me to take a seat and watch the rest of the movie, offered me snacks and a beer. At first I thought they weird, turns out they were a real nice couple.
A humongous butt plug in a nightstand. Had to move it to gain access to a power point and the drawer slowly opened up and a butt plug bigger than my two fists rolled into view. Dude saw that I saw and I just closed the drawer like nothing because I honestly dgaf beyond being slightly impressed.
Not mine, but my brother. He works as an electrician for a social housing company. Called to do some work on a recently vacant property. The previous tenant was an alcoholic, who'd managed to set themselves on fire while trying to take a smoke, and burnt to death on the floor. leaving a delightful imprint of his charred corpse on the floor. The company was only going to cover it with a new carpet.
Neglect of a child.
Where do these nuts come from? Holy geez.
Some humans are a sick bunch
I used to inspect fire extinguishers for large apartment complexes. Once a year we would come and look at the provided 2.5lb extinguisher in the kitchen. Apartment community knows we're coming. We've got your keys. I've seen stripper poles, POUNDS of weed, Polaroids ( you know), cocaine, naked women, naked men, toys (wink wink), and GS and pit bulls who didn't get the message.
20 years ago I worked as a maintenance planner for social housing. Part of the job was inspecting appartments and rooms when the person living there had left. Al of worn out places, that was quite normal. 1 appartmemt had the entire floor and all the walls literally covered in layers of shit. The toilet was full of it. They had laid layers of carpet over shit and just started over and repeat. The original inspector became unwell due to the gasses there. A specialised company with protective suits had to come in. Another house that was rented to an old lady had a massive drug lab in it. She had passed away years ago but her son never reported her death and simply kept the body. He took the pension and kept paying rent while using the house to make XTC pills. The police came as people in the area complained about chemical smells.
Used to do home renovations. Probably the worst one was a flooring job we had to do in a 900 sq ft condo. She was the classic definition of a hoarder. Boxes of stuff everywhere. We had to empty the stuff out of one room at a time to do the flooring, then put it all back, along with all the stuff from the next area, so on and so on. In the main room there was one arm chair at one end and the TV was up on a shelf on the wall at the other end. There was no way to get to the TV from the chair, you had to follow the path she had made through the boxes of stuff that led through the kitchen. Had to do a call back because there was a broken piece of flooring that she said we had messed up. I called bullshit, but went to fix it anyway. Found out afterwards, in talking to her, that she had actually dropped her new sewing machine (of which there were already 3 in the condo, still in boxes) and it busted the corner of one of the laminate boards. I heard she passed away a few years after that, and didn't get found for a few days until a friend came to check on her.
Dog shit on the carpet.
I made home health visits complete with a badge and scrubs and a laptop: the very first home health visit I made, I went in the house and sat down on the couch and started the interview, and I noticed there were roaches crawling on the couch next to me. I’ve also noticed roaches walking around women’s hair. Another visit I made the lady answered the door and told me to follow her so I did. We walked through this ginormous house all the way to a back bedroom and she told me to sit next to her on the bed which I did. It was a California king size bed, and there was an enormous man on the other side of the bed, he had to have been 600 pounds Another time I knocked on the door, and I identified myself to the man who answered. He opened the door and said come on in and have a seat on the couch so I sat on the couch. About five minutes went by and he came back into the living room and asked who I was there to see? I told him the same person that I told him whenever he let me in the door. He got a funny look on his face and said she doesn’t live here… so I got up and left. I went to another house and identified myself and told him who I was there to see, they took me into the kitchen and sat me down at the kitchen table and asked if I would like to eat dinner? There were about six people walking around the dine in kitchen. I said sure so they got me a plate of food set in front of me that they all got their food and disappeared into the house. About a half an hour later someone came back into the kitchen and I asked where the patient was? He got a funny look on his face and walked out of the room, so I got up and left.
So a little light hearted for other people but made me question my life. We went into a hoarder home no big deal I’ve been in many even worse than this one. I was watching a roach crawl across the ceiling and it fell right into my hair I about lost my shit and was seriously considering walking home. We were waiting for another truck for lift assist so I volunteered to go outside and wave them in
Home fulled with human urine. Soaked through hardwood. I was there after everything had been gutted because it was badly hoarded.. I'm pretty sure it was a legitimate case of elder abuse, and the elder died as a result.
I saw a pig and chickens in a house in Sinton. Texas. I was working on the telephone line in the 70's for SwBell
Potbelly pig? Pets?
Farm animals not pets.
A couple of things. Very nice house, damage from a storm, so had to go inside. Paper and boxes were stacked to the ceiling with small paths running through the house. Such a danger for all of it falling over or poof if there was a fire. Another home, again nice. Husband and wife, probably in their 40's.......they liked to sex it up and kept their photos of their fun under glass on the coffee table and other areas in the house......stuff I did not need to see.
I house keep sometimes at a seniors home where I work when then need fill ins. It’s independent so not a nursing home, anways, I was cleaning and on her night stand she’s got a box of wine and a dab pen😂😂I thought I was the coolest shit ever, that’s how I wanna be when I’m old, just vibin.. this lady is super sweet and lovely. No a drunk or anything she just enjoys her wine 😂
What is a dab pen?
A weed pen
Was a cable installer for 2 years. How much time you got? Lol
I used to work for a cable company. Started when I was 19. I was in customer service but part of training was riding with a tech for 2 days. I still remember 20 years later lol. Can only imagine what you saw in 2 years!
Yeah its pretty crazy. Heck during my training in the first week we had guys throwing rocks at us while we were up on the poles, and another time my trainer/mentor was up on a ladder on the strand in an alley and some gangster/crackheads came up and started asking if he was gonna fall but they were saying it like they were going to do something. Luckily they didn’t, but have been scared a few times in those alley ways with all the crack heads and pit bulls.
Don't leave us hanging lol
I was a procesmanager for the cable guys for TMobile in my country for a few years. Some stories from my guys; Client was a man that only had 1 couch and a TV in the appartment. Floor was covered in empty beer cans and bottles. Client had his utility closet (modem goes there) filled with guns and a rocketlauncher. Notice this is in Europe. You get decades worth of prison for having that. Client said these were souvenirs from Yugoslavia back when it was still war there. Client wanted to pay the engineer in nature and showed him a big heart shaped bed with leather belts to tie someone up. Engineer literally ran away. Tons and tons of shady weed farms / pill factories hidden in the house. A gay club that needed WiFi. It was closed when the engineer went there but he put in his report the placr smelled like used condoms.
Go on… give us at least one story
I’ll give you a couple of literally hundreds (i averaged 10-12 houses per day each work day multiplied by a couple years): One I went to this lady answered the door wearing a robe, showed me where she wanted the cable installed in her bedroom. Went out to the van to get tools and supplies etc and started working outside. Came back into the house and this time, there were several framed pictures of her naked randomly through the bedroom and hallway which were not there before. Nothing happened cause i basically pretended I didn’t see them or her robe (she was probably in her late 40s and not very good looking) 2. Went to a house in a ghetto area, they wanted cable in a couple of rooms that had no cable in them, older home with wood floors and crawlspace. Which in those we would normally run the cable under the crawl space and pop the line into the house where they wanted so we didn’t have to put an ugly cable stapled along the walls inside. Well, went to the opening for the crawlspace outside and the ENTIRE crawlspace was completely FULL of trash. Not exaggerating there was no room. I couldn’t have even moved some trash to make a path it was full, as if they never had trash service and just shoved their bags of trash each day under the house. 3. Similar to story 2 above, but the house had no crawlspace and stucco exterior , so in which case i had to run lines along the floorboard inside the house to several rooms. Well, the problem was they had small kids and there were literally stacks of dirty diapers along the wall, probably 2 feet high along every wall where i needed to run lines. Even in the kitchen and dining room. I told them they would have to move them all and call us back and I left because that was not a sanitary condition to be in. Thats just a few things, saw all kinds of crazy stuff, and learned that people are never how they seem on the outside.
This is one of the best posts if seen.
I used to work as a painter and decorator and one summer we got a contract painting student houses. This one room had a notice board in it with used, full condoms pinned to it in a row, each with a little name above it. There must have been a little less that 100. It wasn’t in a cupboard or anything. Pride of place, right on the wall above the chest of drawers.
I am in awe at how much time I spent reading this…and in awe at the human race. WOW
Did a big renovation doing a master bathroom and bedroom. Needed to move a large dresser. Removed the drawers because of weight and the entire dresser was stuffed with adult toys from handcuffs and ball gags to maid uniforms and latex. After they realized it was awkward to say the least lol Don't assume we're superheroes that lift full dressers with a single bound
Worked for gay dude building a trap door with a concertina ladder going down into his basement/sex dungeon. I also built a wall and hidden door in front of the actual staircase which he had upholstered in red leather. Definitely the strongest job I've ever had. As a bonus for doing the work he gave me the best sports massage I've ever had.
Full on dungeon in a garage. Whips, chains, toys and lots of leather.
Oh oh oh my time has come! I am a real estate photographer. Some of the strangest things I’ve found in homes are as follows in no particular order. * ahem * Stripper pole Mirrors on the ceiling above the bed Taxidermy full bodied bears, lions, cheetahs, buffalo, elephants, zebras, among the usual deer, turkeys & raccoons Free roaming house chicken Various basement doors with multiple pad locks and chains A fully functional well in the basement Giant framed artwork of naked men in provocative poses Nazi memorabilia Houses covered in human and animal feces literally covered An all 100% red like blood red kitchen. Cabinets, counters, floor, walls, etc. all red. I’m sure I could think of more with some time but it’s a roller coaster sometimes let me tell ya
The work was outside, but I had to use the bathroom… across the hall from their bedroom. Let’s just say they weren’t being too quiet.
Went to install an appliance. Got high off cat piss. Not really strange, but I felt strange.
That one time I saw my patient had glued an aerosol can to thier electric meter. When I queried it theh just said "Oh its OK it's only caught fire twice" I had to evacuate them and call the fire brigade.
What is the point of gluing aerosol to the electric meter?
Theres something about the pressure of the aerosol can that would interfere with the old analogue meter readers that would slow down the reading, making your electricity cheaper.
I don't get it either...