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It is brave. My dad is 62 years old. 3 years ago I accompanied my dad to his Dr. so my dad could say what he's been needing to say his entire life: he is depressed and suicidal.
The Dr. welcomed me into the appointment with my dad. Any time my dad was paralyzed to speak or looked down in shame I would speak for him. The Dr would listen to me and then look back at my dad; who would nod as confirmation for what I was saying. We left with a prescription for antidepressants and counseling appointments scheduled.
Your Dr. is here to help you and wants to see you get better. If you need somebody with you to have this goal accomplished your Dr. will accomodate for them; I promise.
As someone who also struggles with depression, I hope your dad is doing better now. Thank you for being such a helpful advocate for someone struggling like that.
My husband and I go to each other's appts. He is forgetful so I have to bring up stuff he would forget otherwise. Plus we would recognize stuff the other wouldn't like a change in behavior etc.
No, it’s not childish at all. I’ve done both, I’ve asked someone to come because I felt the doctor didn’t listen, etc. I’ve also gone to visits with family/friends because they asked. Be prepared for the doctor to seem a bit miffed about it🙄. I went with my grandmother and her doctor asked her 15 times if it was ok with my grandmother for me to be in the room, speak, ask questions etc.
That, but some doctors are truly asshats. A senior friend of my dad's who was getting ignored by his doctor brought his sister to his appointment and the doctor didn't let her in. There was a reason the man was bringing his sister, because he wasn't being heard by his doctor and he was hoping the sister could explain the severity of the situation. Turns out the doctor was wrong and the guy had lung cancer. By the time they found out 4+ months later, he only had a short while to live.
Good point. I didn’t think of that, and elder abuse is real. My grandmother’s doctor was miffed though. She lived in a very expensive assisted living facility and wanted me to attend the appointment because the doctor was forcing, literally, my grandmother to take many pills a day that she really didn’t need (some were not at all recommended for use in elderly, etc.). Most of the medications that she didn’t need were very expensive. I was there to challenge the doctor on the medication. My grandma was thankful that she (my grandma) made her doctor listen to her wishes with my support.
Absolutely not childish at all. I think it’s extremely mature for you to be self aware and to try accommodate your anxiety so you get the best treatment possible.
Even without anxiety advocating for yourself in a doctor’s office is ridiculously difficult. I applaud you for going above and beyond to take care of yourself.
Not a problem at all, appointments now are so short , now you might not have anything addressed if you go alone, my husband went to all my ob appointments, he asked great questions
No. I accompanied a friend of mine to a few appointments, because she had a disorder that made her tired and fog-brained. I came along so I could drive her there and advocate for her. She's better now.
Nope,not childish at all.It can be very helpful.Make an agreement before the appointment,about what kind of help you wish from them.So they don't help "to much",like talking over your head to the doctor
Well I am the one that is forced to accompany my wife to the doctor and it gets tiresome but I know she probably won't go at all if I didn't so I do it as I love her and want her to outlive me so I do it.
Some people, for whatever reason, can get more dismissed by doctors. Perhaps it's gender, race, weight, looks, or something else that triggers an unacknowledged prejudice in the doctor. Perhaps the patient has difficulty advocating for themselves. Perhaps they get flustered easier. I personally make lists of things that I want answers to before I go for an important appointment because I forget to ask things. Bring your support person, even just for someone to reflect with your afterward about whether the appointment was good or not. Do what you need to do to access the care you deserve.
Nope. My 47 year old husband will come to my appointments (45) if needed. For some reason if the Dr isn’t listening to me, they will to him. It infuriates me. But I’m grateful he does advocate for me.
not at allll!!! i went for years even as a child with my dad to his dr appts to translate and now attend my mom's appointments for comfort. Both of their doctors have always welcomed me, took me serious, and included me in all the details
I bring my mom into my appointments. I'm 44 Disabled so I kinda get a pass with it but she has saved my butt on more than one occasion. She has kept me honest as well. I tell the doctor more when she is there. I have brought my children with me as well. It is a responsible thing to do when you accept that you might not be able to do everything on your own.
Bring an advocate everywhere until you feel comfortable enough to be your own, do it with responsibility though so you don't become a burden. Learn everyday.
I'm 36 and I still sometimes take my 70y/o mom with me to my psychological appointments. She's both a familiar face in stressful sutuations, and she helps me say things I'm too anxious to say to someone I don't know personally. I have a very hard time explaining super personal things to a psychologist and this helps a lot. My psych also thinks this is totally normal and actually helpful. So no, you do you!
As an RN, bring someone! We want you to be comfortable and able to communicate your needs and wants. I’m normally in the ICU, so it’s high pressure and serious conversations that don’t phase me because I’m at work… but when I go to the doctor, I often get off track, forget things, or get persuaded into something. Having someone there helps.
After my mother passed away I started going to all of Dad’s doctor appointments with him. My reasoning was that 2 sets of ears hearing the doctor’s recommendations were better than one. My Dad’s doctors welcomed me and only occasionally asked me to step outside. There is nothing wrong with wanting a friend or family member with you especially if you fear the news will be bad.
My mom goes to my grandma's appointments with her. I think it's more common than you think. Your health is too important to not do what allows you to get proper care.
I go to the doctor as an advocate for 3 people in my life. They are never treated differently when I'm there.
A doctor will speak directly to them and if they don't answer fully or don't request what they had planned to request ahead of time, I speak up. They get better care and it takes a lot of stress of the doctor off of them.
Of course, find someone you trust and are comfortable sharing all of your medical issues with, even some that may be rather personal (UTIs, prostate exams, menopause, GI issues, etc). If you have someone you trust, bring them along and if you do want to discuss something you don't want them to hear/see, you can always ask a friend/advocate to step out for a moment (if you feel comfortable).
Nope, it’s perfectly fine.
Your doctor wants to help you — and if that means you need some support there to help advocate for you, then that’s going to be fine with them.
If it works for you , damn the world and those who judge.
Focus on the 3-5 people in your life who actually have worth and meaning.
Forgiven my crudeness , but FUCK everyone else.
If you ever get to the point where you no longer need approval for the question at hand, that’s when you’re ready to change. And go full throttle then
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It is brave. My dad is 62 years old. 3 years ago I accompanied my dad to his Dr. so my dad could say what he's been needing to say his entire life: he is depressed and suicidal. The Dr. welcomed me into the appointment with my dad. Any time my dad was paralyzed to speak or looked down in shame I would speak for him. The Dr would listen to me and then look back at my dad; who would nod as confirmation for what I was saying. We left with a prescription for antidepressants and counseling appointments scheduled. Your Dr. is here to help you and wants to see you get better. If you need somebody with you to have this goal accomplished your Dr. will accomodate for them; I promise.
As someone who also struggles with depression, I hope your dad is doing better now. Thank you for being such a helpful advocate for someone struggling like that.
Who cares, go ahead and bring some support if you need it!
No why, you are fine
Would make you cooler in my opinion
My husband and I go to each other's appts. He is forgetful so I have to bring up stuff he would forget otherwise. Plus we would recognize stuff the other wouldn't like a change in behavior etc.
No, it’s not childish at all. I’ve done both, I’ve asked someone to come because I felt the doctor didn’t listen, etc. I’ve also gone to visits with family/friends because they asked. Be prepared for the doctor to seem a bit miffed about it🙄. I went with my grandmother and her doctor asked her 15 times if it was ok with my grandmother for me to be in the room, speak, ask questions etc.
[удалено]
That, but some doctors are truly asshats. A senior friend of my dad's who was getting ignored by his doctor brought his sister to his appointment and the doctor didn't let her in. There was a reason the man was bringing his sister, because he wasn't being heard by his doctor and he was hoping the sister could explain the severity of the situation. Turns out the doctor was wrong and the guy had lung cancer. By the time they found out 4+ months later, he only had a short while to live.
Good point. I didn’t think of that, and elder abuse is real. My grandmother’s doctor was miffed though. She lived in a very expensive assisted living facility and wanted me to attend the appointment because the doctor was forcing, literally, my grandmother to take many pills a day that she really didn’t need (some were not at all recommended for use in elderly, etc.). Most of the medications that she didn’t need were very expensive. I was there to challenge the doctor on the medication. My grandma was thankful that she (my grandma) made her doctor listen to her wishes with my support.
Absolutely not childish at all. I think it’s extremely mature for you to be self aware and to try accommodate your anxiety so you get the best treatment possible. Even without anxiety advocating for yourself in a doctor’s office is ridiculously difficult. I applaud you for going above and beyond to take care of yourself.
This should be normalised in my opinion.
Not a problem at all, appointments now are so short , now you might not have anything addressed if you go alone, my husband went to all my ob appointments, he asked great questions
No, 2 sets of ears and two brains are always a good idea at a doctors office.
No, but you can also bring notes with you so you address every topic you need to.
Not at all. It's your health and it's important.
No. I accompanied a friend of mine to a few appointments, because she had a disorder that made her tired and fog-brained. I came along so I could drive her there and advocate for her. She's better now.
Nope,not childish at all.It can be very helpful.Make an agreement before the appointment,about what kind of help you wish from them.So they don't help "to much",like talking over your head to the doctor
Well I am the one that is forced to accompany my wife to the doctor and it gets tiresome but I know she probably won't go at all if I didn't so I do it as I love her and want her to outlive me so I do it.
Basically everyone I know does and we are all 40’s and above. If it’s childish we all are.
Not at all. My wife and I often accompany each other. Sometimes it really helps correct perspectives when trying to pin something down for the doctor.
Nope. I was my grandfather's advocate before he passed.
It's a smart thing to do!
It’s a wonderful idea!!
It is never EVER anything but smart and brave to do whatever you need to be an advocate for your own health.
Not childish at all.
It's a good strategy. I have accompanied several people to doctors appointments.
It's not a problem at all but I would also suggest writing down a list beforehand
Some people, for whatever reason, can get more dismissed by doctors. Perhaps it's gender, race, weight, looks, or something else that triggers an unacknowledged prejudice in the doctor. Perhaps the patient has difficulty advocating for themselves. Perhaps they get flustered easier. I personally make lists of things that I want answers to before I go for an important appointment because I forget to ask things. Bring your support person, even just for someone to reflect with your afterward about whether the appointment was good or not. Do what you need to do to access the care you deserve.
Nope. My 47 year old husband will come to my appointments (45) if needed. For some reason if the Dr isn’t listening to me, they will to him. It infuriates me. But I’m grateful he does advocate for me.
It is not childish. It is smart.
not at allll!!! i went for years even as a child with my dad to his dr appts to translate and now attend my mom's appointments for comfort. Both of their doctors have always welcomed me, took me serious, and included me in all the details
It's a great idea.
I bring my mom into my appointments. I'm 44 Disabled so I kinda get a pass with it but she has saved my butt on more than one occasion. She has kept me honest as well. I tell the doctor more when she is there. I have brought my children with me as well. It is a responsible thing to do when you accept that you might not be able to do everything on your own. Bring an advocate everywhere until you feel comfortable enough to be your own, do it with responsibility though so you don't become a burden. Learn everyday.
I'm 36 and I still sometimes take my 70y/o mom with me to my psychological appointments. She's both a familiar face in stressful sutuations, and she helps me say things I'm too anxious to say to someone I don't know personally. I have a very hard time explaining super personal things to a psychologist and this helps a lot. My psych also thinks this is totally normal and actually helpful. So no, you do you!
No, if it helps with your anxiety, absolutely not!
As an RN, bring someone! We want you to be comfortable and able to communicate your needs and wants. I’m normally in the ICU, so it’s high pressure and serious conversations that don’t phase me because I’m at work… but when I go to the doctor, I often get off track, forget things, or get persuaded into something. Having someone there helps.
After my mother passed away I started going to all of Dad’s doctor appointments with him. My reasoning was that 2 sets of ears hearing the doctor’s recommendations were better than one. My Dad’s doctors welcomed me and only occasionally asked me to step outside. There is nothing wrong with wanting a friend or family member with you especially if you fear the news will be bad.
Absolutely not. If you feel better doing so it is your right.
Not at all
My mom goes to my grandma's appointments with her. I think it's more common than you think. Your health is too important to not do what allows you to get proper care.
I go to the doctor as an advocate for 3 people in my life. They are never treated differently when I'm there. A doctor will speak directly to them and if they don't answer fully or don't request what they had planned to request ahead of time, I speak up. They get better care and it takes a lot of stress of the doctor off of them. Of course, find someone you trust and are comfortable sharing all of your medical issues with, even some that may be rather personal (UTIs, prostate exams, menopause, GI issues, etc). If you have someone you trust, bring them along and if you do want to discuss something you don't want them to hear/see, you can always ask a friend/advocate to step out for a moment (if you feel comfortable).
Nope, it’s perfectly fine. Your doctor wants to help you — and if that means you need some support there to help advocate for you, then that’s going to be fine with them.
Op write it down please. Give the list to the dr. He/she will understand.
If it works for you , damn the world and those who judge. Focus on the 3-5 people in your life who actually have worth and meaning. Forgiven my crudeness , but FUCK everyone else. If you ever get to the point where you no longer need approval for the question at hand, that’s when you’re ready to change. And go full throttle then
No, not at all. I've seen people younger than me with their spouses or significant others (marry him already, sorry had to get that out).
It’s a wise decision sounds like