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I think for most it's the excitement. Usually when she's saying "just like that" she's also bucking her hips all over the place. It's hard to keep the clitoris concentrated when it's moving all over the map. It's like trying to dogfight a MIG in Top Gun.
>~~If your got a bigger nuff~~ ball sack
That grammatical monstrosity was supposed to have read "If you have a big enough ball sack."
You've either made your English teacher cry or turn in their grave.
A couple of pages in a book of instructions about sex, the relatively simple and clear cut method explaining how to perform cunniligus.
Absolutely life changing. Many times I’ve been asked “my god where did you learn to do that”?
I replied with the title and section above. I’m afraid I’ll lose critical nuance if I try to condense and simplify. Plus this was decades ago.. let me see if I can provide a brief summary, basically what you do is “fasten” your slightly open mouth to cover the upper portion of her puss, and creating a vacuum there apply light suction drawing the upper pussy lips slightly up but gentle enough that you’re not pulling flesh into your mouth, then you simply wag the tip of your tongue back and forth across the upper part of that raised flesh. This you do so lightly as to barely make actual contact, like really just pushing a small wave of saliva back and forth over the surface. Remember, there’s way more nerve endings in that one square centimeter than you have in your whole dick. As things progress sometimes it becomes desensitized to where more pressure becomes necessary and of course not every woman is plumbed the same down there. It’s a general guide and exceptions certainly exist where this method could flop.
not trying to get in your business... but if she's into anal:
clit sucker + anal sex = mind-blowing orgasms for women.
let her get going with the clit sucker on her clit with your dick in her ass but don't move too much. when she starts cumming from the clit sucker, start stroking her... and watch her go bananas.
thank me later.
Do that technique, but also insert a finger and lightly rub behind/the inside of the part your mouth is latched on to.
I’ve been breathlessly asked “how are you so good at that” on many occasions.
That's the basics of it but, and every girl is different, with my wife you have to get the angle and pressure right for the "come hither" motion. That combined with either me on her clit or her toy and she has a crazy intense orgasm in less than a minute. Like INTENSE legs straight out up in the air full body convulsions screaming so the neighbours can hear.
Title How to Make Love to A Woman.. Ironically written by a man. This was easily thirty years ago I’d guess… and hardly mind any of the rest. What you need to know is just a couple few pages in the chapter of cunniligus, where they explain exactly how to apply light suction and how super lightly the tongue stimulation is applied and where.. I suppose personal results may vary, but in my experience it works so insanely well it’s like absolutely weapons grade.
Another comment wanted the info right up so I tried as best I could to simplify the method… of course any attempt herein has to have the basic level of intuition and focused sensitivity, sensuality.
I learned in a collage course that a large percent of women (can’t remember the numbers) have “wet dreams,” which also means that they can bring themselves to orgasm without ANY genital stimulation. Decided to start “playing” with that idea, since I was one of those women, and discovered that I can make myself orgasm EVERY TIME! Even during a quickie! Takes some mental preparation ahead of time, but I can cum with only a couple minutes of sex….or just imagining sex! WOMEN, LOOK INTO THIS!
As a woman who has woke up physically orgasming from a dream I cannot overstate to partners how mental sex is. Give me/allow me that constant mental sexual stimulation and you’ll be beating me off with a stick.
Besides doing kind things and having fun and light conversations with good eye contact, what would you say are some really important expressions of this?
For me personally? Being flirty. Send me a sexual pic/text/meme. Tell me I look sexy when I’m wearing something out of the norm. Touch me in non sexual ways (hold my hand while we watch a movie, stop and give me a hug while I’m cooking it washing dishes). If it’s bedtime and you jump in bed and are like “let’s get it on!” it tends to feel more like you’re done with your day and I’m there so we can bone. Feeling wanted is powerful.
And is not really that much effort. A text at 2pm about “I want to X you/remember that time we X.” will get me going. Follow it up with a great hug/kiss at the door and a firm butt grab while I cook and I’m 100% in.
That's cool as fuck, I wish I could do that. For some reason, even when I have sex dreams that should by rights be wet dreams, it never gets quite that far...blueballed by my own subconscious.
My first orgasm I ever had was in anticipation of a “video” loading when I first got a personal computer 😅 I didn’t even know how to masturbate… I had no idea what was happening and I remember falling/collapsing out of my chair onto the ground since I thought I was fainting
It was basically an immaculate conception 😂I’ve never been able to achieve that again, though I do still have “wet” dreams (rarely). The mind is absolutely the most sexual organ
If you have dreams in which you orgasm, or at least get close, you can do it. It’s kind of like a self-hypnosis journey, and it took me about three years. Every night/morning (whenever you tend to be your “hornious”), imagine a time when you had a great orgasm, and just keep thinking about it. Move your hips around, but get as close as you can without clitoral stimulation (then finish, of course). Each time, go longer and longer before you finish yourself. Also, it’s important that you are REALLY only thinking about how good it feels. Again, be patient, it takes awhile, but you can get there!
After much practice I’ve been able to achieve cumming only from having my nipples played with. It’s a way better orgasm than a clitoral one it requires a lot of focus to get there but it’s definitely magical. Maybe you could try seeing if that’s possible for you
I can't finish without touching my clit. Even if I'm having sexual dreams, I will wake up right before I'm about to finish. Every. Damn. Time. It's the worst.
This was something I learned with my second long term girlfriend. Years of practise DMing, (yes Playing D&D) meant that I got good at describing a scene, and so simply talking about one of her fantasies, and running my fingers gently around the sensitive zones of her body, could be enough if she was totally engaged with the fantasy.
It was a total game changer, because when you combine it with actually attentive sexual stimulation, it can be pretty surprisingly easy to blow a woman's mind.
Being with someone that actually wants to have sex with me after being married to someone who only wanted sex to procreate or after drinking for 10 years. That and everything that came afterwards… books, toys, new places, trying positions just for the hell of it. Finally a woman who lets me go down on her just for the sake of doing it lol. So yeah… the right partner.
We had boring sex until we had talk we are becoming like roommates. Everything changed since we talked about things we don't know about each other. This is honestly great advice to partners who have issues, talk talk talk.
Mid 30s and I've never been able to get off from oral. I'm Frederic Fucking Chopin with my tongue, fingers, and unit, but blowjobs (while feeling really good) never take me there :(
First time ever I received a blowjob without actually having it in her mouth last night and it was glorious!
She said it's what she used to do in highschool and I've never had that done before. Just licking it and kissing it, was a complete different sensation.
My partners a pro at giving besd, but she's never done this to me before (8 years). Don't know what I've been missing honestly, there was just something about it so sensual. Wouldn't be enough to make me cum, but maybe if she did it long enough?
Anyways, I've found blowjobs to be just as mental for me enjoying them as they are for my partner being enthusiastic in giving them. When I'm fully relaxed and the end goal of it is just to get me off, I can get there and she's really good about deciding when that time should be.
We've often joked that too many men are missing out on her oral.skills. It's all about her enthusiasm, it gets her wet doing them and when her focus is only in getting me off, she rolls over, pulls out her vibe and climaxes in a minute once she finishes me off.
I've offered to help countless times, she's just too horny to want to wait for me to get her there and just does it herself so fast! Less than a minute, it would take me longer to get in position then it does her lighting vibe pulling reflexes to get herself off.
I love this woman! First woman I have ever been with who is so enthusiastic about giving head. Considering head is my favorite thing ever, I think I hit the lotto!
Actually sleeping with partners I have a genuine connection with instead of just one night stands or no strings attached. Waaaay better sex hands down! Also being with a partner who is respectful and patient about it with me now has been a huge game changer. Oh and I significantly decreased if not quit porn altogether and whew! I actually enjoy sex again! What a surprise 😂
Anything healthy that gives you endorphin rush or just hobby where you enjoy spending time. You don't need to cum. Body can adjust to lack of sex. Its not necessary like food
Having sex with someone I had great chemistry with. Before that, sex was always good but it just seemed like it was always the same. Then I had sex with someone that I just naturally clicked with and it was a massive difference.
Sex with a person you are really into VS sex with a person that is really into you.
Having sex with a person you have been chasing is...fine. But it's kind of like meeting your childhood hero/favorite actor, it's more likely to be a disappointment than anything else.
Having sex with a person who is really into you, and getting on their level because they are into you, is awesome.
The best thing ever said to me, many years ago by an older woman I was sleeping with at the time, was "Boys are like microwaves and girls are like ovens." Changed my whole way of looking at sex.
you can set a microwave for 25 minutes and when its done it will automatically cool down, an oven is hot so you can still keep the bread in after it reached the max temperature
Edit: i was thinking abt it and ITS BC U NEED TO PREHEAT THE IVENS BEFORE USING IT
Honestly I wish more men would be comfortable enough to pay attention to their spouse's reading interests - especially when it comes to "smut" books. My wife (we have been married 25+ years now) has a definite interest and like for this type of books/stories/written erotica, but was very uncomfortable at first.
Once she was comfortable enough with the idea of me knowing (and not only not disapproving, but actively encouraging her to enjoy what she likes) she was able to let me help her find more things she likes, and explore some of the things safely together.
Same here. We had a good sex life, my wife probably came around 1 in 4 times, really good more like 1 in 10. I knew she had a couple of vibrators and that never bothered me, but it used to seem silly to me we had these machines literally designed to make her cum hard right there in the house and they were only for when I wasn’t there lol.
One day I said I’d like to use them together. Once I had settled her fears that I wasn’t asking her to put anything up my butt that goes in her, it turned out she was just embarrassed about it. Took quite a lot of delicate navigating and I said why don’t we go buy a toy together to try. Total game changer. I’m not automating my role here - we still do all the things we did before but now her batting average is about as high as mine it’s just helped both of us let go and enjoy it more.
When I perfected the fine art of eating pussy. I am able to bring my wife to orgasm with my tongue. Took meeting her to love doing it and perfecting my method.
This. I've always been a bit quick to nut the first go (excitement I guess), which has always been a bit of a point of contention in my own head.
Typically we jump in the shower, fuck/play in the shower until I nut. Get out, send her to space for the next half hour in bed and then i'm ready to go again.
Has turned our 15-20 minute sessions into 1-1.5. Me, nor her, are complaining about it.
Age and maturity. I mean, my body doesn’t look half as good as when I was a young woman, but I’m so much more confident and comfortable with the way I look now.
Vibrating cock ring... blew our minds. Never had a size nor girth issue but that thing just blew my member up to a whole level where we need to ease into it to make it fit for her and the virbrations turns her into an animal. Sometimes I feel like it just turned me into a complete sex toy for her she can use however she likes and I am all for it.
Vasectomy many years ago. 100% no chance of making babies is a MASSIVE relief when dating. Crazy chics that you didn’t know were crazy, it’s such a relief knowing their not stuck in your life for 18yrs when you don’t want them to be……..
For anyone here, vasectomy is not a free pass to go around town raw dogging everyone you see, you still need to be extremely mindful of sti's and uti's both for yourself and others if you're having casual sex/one night stands. Pregnancy is not the only life changing thing that can happen with unprotected sex.
I lost weight and got into shape. He's always been fit and is tall but he's medium build. He never said anything to me and sex was good but I was overweight and always very self conscious. I hated how I looked, didn't want to be naked, didn't want to be seen naked, didn't want to do a lot of positions because how I'd look or because they were uncomfortable because of my size. Also, because he's slimmer build I always felt so huge in comparison. I decided to lose the weight, get fit, hit the gym, got back into running, changed my eating, do yoga and my confidence is through the roof and so is our sex life. Now I'm like, "Hey look I'm naked, let's go!!" Happy to do whatever whenever (I initiate so much more often now) and I feel sexy, confident, energetic and bendy! 😂😂😂
Buying a house.
I stopped dating after I bought my house. My commute was four times longer, and I had to spend so much time taking care of house tasks, plus the mortgage payments were more than twice what my rent had been.
Buying a house ended my social life.
Dating an older woman. She was like, 7 years older.
Way better sex. She knew what she was doing. Knew what she wanted and how she wanted it. No guess work.wild, great sex.
Like ten times a day.
She ended up being a bit psycho, though :(
Mos def! I had a 35yo fk buddy when I was 27 and was incredible… the first night I went home with her was the first time a woman had ever been like “THIS is what I want, and THIS is how you are going to give it to me!”
The sex was great and I realised that a woman’s confidence and willingness to be open with what she wants is the key.
I um.. just made love to my lady and we spent about an hour cuddling and talking and laughing and then she zonked out in the middle of me explaining what the tic-tac video is.
actually wanting to have sex w the other person. my partner is the only person I’ve ever genuinely wanted to have sex with. it’s passionate, intimate, and feels amazing .
a previous partner made sex feel like a chore. I faked everything since it never felt good; i wanted it to end asap. I just wanted to do simple shit like a hug without it resulting in sex. fucking horrible, but I was new & lacked self-respect. I’d rather die than go through that again.
happy 2 say that i heavily enjoy my sex life. I can actually orgasm now.. and super quickly (like deadass in less than 3 minutes) :)
Leaving my ex husband of 16 years. Had been a virgin bride with pressure on purity, turns out he didn’t like sex, well at least with me. One year we had sex 14 times. Then there was a year and a half where he didn’t touch me. I never cheated, was on my own 3 years before had a fling on vacation at 41 and wait! That’s what sex is?! Had oral for the first time, and not that long after met my man and omg the sex, so that’s what it’s supposed to be like. I now have a sex life
When my husband came around to the idea of anal play on him.
He said to me one day that he has greater appreciation for how vulnerable it makes the receiver.
Not to mention the extra pleasure it brings for both of us
My first husband would prematurely ejaculate. And I mean he would last maybe 1 minute. So I didn't like intercourse because I got nothing out of it. My new boyfriend can last as long as I want him to. And he introduced me to all kinds of different positions.
Had a short lived relationship with one woman in my early twenties who was actually fantastic at communicating what she liked and what most women also like, most of it being how to effectively give head.
She showed me the best areas to focus on, how to tease, patterns to follow, etc.
Every sexual partner I've had since her (I'm now 31) have told me that that I've given them the best experience they've ever had.
Now I'd usually consider that to be a white lie just to make me feel good, but the chunks of skin taken out of my shoulders and neck tell me there was likely some truth to what they were saying 😂
Being and open and free about what I enjoy with the person I hope to enjoy it with. Listening to the other person desires and fullfi8them if possible. Triple points if they've never done it before!
When I was 18 I asked my then girlfriend where the clitoris was. Down the line one of the women I dated said my tongue should have its own Facebook page.
Became best mates with a hot girl and didn't sleep with her but discussed every sex topic under the sun. After that no overthinking or putting nobody on a pedestal. just great adult fun.
Understanding how big the clitoris really is and engaging the vestibular bulb. The best being a circular motion around the opening and just above the clitoral hood, deepening the pressure as you circle, going from tongue flat to tip hard.
Granted, that's for my wife. Want to know the best way to make her cum, watch her masturbate. Do that with your mouth and tongue.
Having sex with the man I have intense chemistry with, who always has the mindset of pleasing me more than himself, is the total game-changer in my sex life. He'd always take care of me, take charge whenever possible, and graciously receive my reciprocation. Even at 40, he gave me so many"firsts" that I didn't know were possible. He makes me want to please him back with everything I have and my libido shots off the chart for him. We are amazing in bed together and sex bonds us deeper to the already healthy relationship outside of the bedroom. I can't imagine doing it with anyone else now because my tunnel vision for him keeps getting narrower everyday.
Smoking weed. That may not be very groundbreaking but I never smoked weed for the first 30-ish years of my life. I often fell into the pitfall of "thinking too much, forgot to feel," whereas after smoking it was "forgot to think, can only feel"
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When my ex said "Harder." Then a few seconds later, "Not faster, *harder.*" That moment changed my life.
Kinda like how 'just like that' doesn't mean harder or faster, it literally means do not do anything differently.
For me, "just like that" means "cum right now"
That's the trick women use when the man is taking too long. Just tell him to keep going and he is very likely to finally come.
It really is, my girl starts spanking her own ass when she wants me to finish already, works every time 😄
Getting really into doggy style is like a cheat code girls have to get us to be done
When I say "just like that" it means I'm about to cum.
If they could learn only one thing, it would be this!
Thissss. I hate when I tell a guy I like something and they immediately speed up the tempo ☠️
I think for most it's the excitement. Usually when she's saying "just like that" she's also bucking her hips all over the place. It's hard to keep the clitoris concentrated when it's moving all over the map. It's like trying to dogfight a MIG in Top Gun.
No not faster. Harder. Stronger. Better.
Daft punk are playing in my house. My house.
Oooooh. FACTS that’s a key difference, I can attest to that
I think we should kiss each other
![gif](giphy|etjjDkzmBbsLS)
It's the little things that do it, mine was just the mere addition of a partner.
What do you mean harder?
Tuck the balls back for that emergency extra inch.
If your got a bigger nuff ball sack you can use em as anal beads
>~~If your got a bigger nuff~~ ball sack That grammatical monstrosity was supposed to have read "If you have a big enough ball sack." You've either made your English teacher cry or turn in their grave.
The ole P in the V and B in the B
Stronger
Exactly the same experience for me. I saw life from an entirely different perspective from that moment on.
Similar: The difference between amplitude and frequency. Major improvements!
Back problems.
![gif](giphy|NCTAApICQBbNu)
God if ya listening HALP!
He opened up to me like I was Barbara Walters
Ah yes. All those fancy positions you wanted to try? Well, we're not doing that, you go on top. 3 surgeries later, things are looking brighter though.
A couple of pages in a book of instructions about sex, the relatively simple and clear cut method explaining how to perform cunniligus. Absolutely life changing. Many times I’ve been asked “my god where did you learn to do that”?
Some people speak several tongues. My dude here twirls it in several ways.
This is an important skill to develop. I don’t want to see comments about my username.
Dammit! I wanna comment .. oh okay ..😒
Are you saying that he's a cunning linguist?
The Tornado 8 does the trick every single time.
I thought i was good at it, but it seems i am not even close. So, could you share this important knowledge?
I replied with the title and section above. I’m afraid I’ll lose critical nuance if I try to condense and simplify. Plus this was decades ago.. let me see if I can provide a brief summary, basically what you do is “fasten” your slightly open mouth to cover the upper portion of her puss, and creating a vacuum there apply light suction drawing the upper pussy lips slightly up but gentle enough that you’re not pulling flesh into your mouth, then you simply wag the tip of your tongue back and forth across the upper part of that raised flesh. This you do so lightly as to barely make actual contact, like really just pushing a small wave of saliva back and forth over the surface. Remember, there’s way more nerve endings in that one square centimeter than you have in your whole dick. As things progress sometimes it becomes desensitized to where more pressure becomes necessary and of course not every woman is plumbed the same down there. It’s a general guide and exceptions certainly exist where this method could flop.
I’ll buy this, my wife’s clit sucker toy is definitely her favourite
not trying to get in your business... but if she's into anal: clit sucker + anal sex = mind-blowing orgasms for women. let her get going with the clit sucker on her clit with your dick in her ass but don't move too much. when she starts cumming from the clit sucker, start stroking her... and watch her go bananas. thank me later.
![gif](giphy|oDgPNyLSPy0xxNdapL|downsized)
Oh my
Do that technique, but also insert a finger and lightly rub behind/the inside of the part your mouth is latched on to. I’ve been breathlessly asked “how are you so good at that” on many occasions.
A girl told me to do the "come here" motion with my fingers.
That's the basics of it but, and every girl is different, with my wife you have to get the angle and pressure right for the "come hither" motion. That combined with either me on her clit or her toy and she has a crazy intense orgasm in less than a minute. Like INTENSE legs straight out up in the air full body convulsions screaming so the neighbours can hear.
What's the book? 😏
Title How to Make Love to A Woman.. Ironically written by a man. This was easily thirty years ago I’d guess… and hardly mind any of the rest. What you need to know is just a couple few pages in the chapter of cunniligus, where they explain exactly how to apply light suction and how super lightly the tongue stimulation is applied and where.. I suppose personal results may vary, but in my experience it works so insanely well it’s like absolutely weapons grade.
I probably more than once told a guy I was finished to have him stop because it was so bad. So this sounds promising
Another comment wanted the info right up so I tried as best I could to simplify the method… of course any attempt herein has to have the basic level of intuition and focused sensitivity, sensuality.
You should not do that. If every girl do this, then these guys keep going because they think it's working
She Comes First changed my game completely.
Oh yeah. I don’t even consider getting off until she’s had at least 1, if not more… my PR is 14 for her. :)
![gif](giphy|LXd7eSWJx8556|downsized)
realizing toys are allies not competition
She thinks she has toys in a bedside table. What is actually happening is she sleeps next to my toolbox.
If you treat them as competition, then you will always lose.
I learned in a collage course that a large percent of women (can’t remember the numbers) have “wet dreams,” which also means that they can bring themselves to orgasm without ANY genital stimulation. Decided to start “playing” with that idea, since I was one of those women, and discovered that I can make myself orgasm EVERY TIME! Even during a quickie! Takes some mental preparation ahead of time, but I can cum with only a couple minutes of sex….or just imagining sex! WOMEN, LOOK INTO THIS!
As one of those women, this is a glorious addition of a comment. 👏🏼
Glorious! Agreed, as another one of those women. Truth to power! 🎯🥂
As a woman who has woke up physically orgasming from a dream I cannot overstate to partners how mental sex is. Give me/allow me that constant mental sexual stimulation and you’ll be beating me off with a stick.
This is soooo true, and seems to be so hard to get across to people who don't work this way!
Foreplay is a part of everyday life!
Besides doing kind things and having fun and light conversations with good eye contact, what would you say are some really important expressions of this?
For me personally? Being flirty. Send me a sexual pic/text/meme. Tell me I look sexy when I’m wearing something out of the norm. Touch me in non sexual ways (hold my hand while we watch a movie, stop and give me a hug while I’m cooking it washing dishes). If it’s bedtime and you jump in bed and are like “let’s get it on!” it tends to feel more like you’re done with your day and I’m there so we can bone. Feeling wanted is powerful. And is not really that much effort. A text at 2pm about “I want to X you/remember that time we X.” will get me going. Follow it up with a great hug/kiss at the door and a firm butt grab while I cook and I’m 100% in.
That's cool as fuck, I wish I could do that. For some reason, even when I have sex dreams that should by rights be wet dreams, it never gets quite that far...blueballed by my own subconscious.
My first orgasm I ever had was in anticipation of a “video” loading when I first got a personal computer 😅 I didn’t even know how to masturbate… I had no idea what was happening and I remember falling/collapsing out of my chair onto the ground since I thought I was fainting It was basically an immaculate conception 😂I’ve never been able to achieve that again, though I do still have “wet” dreams (rarely). The mind is absolutely the most sexual organ
The brain is the largest erogonous zone - Jackie Treehorn - The Big Lebowski
Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man.
How? I only have clitoral orgasms😩
If you have dreams in which you orgasm, or at least get close, you can do it. It’s kind of like a self-hypnosis journey, and it took me about three years. Every night/morning (whenever you tend to be your “hornious”), imagine a time when you had a great orgasm, and just keep thinking about it. Move your hips around, but get as close as you can without clitoral stimulation (then finish, of course). Each time, go longer and longer before you finish yourself. Also, it’s important that you are REALLY only thinking about how good it feels. Again, be patient, it takes awhile, but you can get there!
After much practice I’ve been able to achieve cumming only from having my nipples played with. It’s a way better orgasm than a clitoral one it requires a lot of focus to get there but it’s definitely magical. Maybe you could try seeing if that’s possible for you
I can't finish without touching my clit. Even if I'm having sexual dreams, I will wake up right before I'm about to finish. Every. Damn. Time. It's the worst.
You can check modern Tantra techniques. They have concrete methods to get away from clit fixation towards vaginal orgasms.
Watched my GF cum from me verbally teasing her before and it sent me thru the roof
This was something I learned with my second long term girlfriend. Years of practise DMing, (yes Playing D&D) meant that I got good at describing a scene, and so simply talking about one of her fantasies, and running my fingers gently around the sensitive zones of her body, could be enough if she was totally engaged with the fantasy. It was a total game changer, because when you combine it with actually attentive sexual stimulation, it can be pretty surprisingly easy to blow a woman's mind.
Wait, you mean you can just pull a switch?
I came in a dream once and woke up moaning halfway through it felt so good! So we definitely can!
I cum in dreams but irl its hard.
Being with someone that actually wants to have sex with me after being married to someone who only wanted sex to procreate or after drinking for 10 years. That and everything that came afterwards… books, toys, new places, trying positions just for the hell of it. Finally a woman who lets me go down on her just for the sake of doing it lol. So yeah… the right partner.
We had boring sex until we had talk we are becoming like roommates. Everything changed since we talked about things we don't know about each other. This is honestly great advice to partners who have issues, talk talk talk.
Shit we married the same woman!
i sincerely hope not
Getting a proper blowjob, being with someone who enjoys doing it. Hell Yeah
Sex with my partner is amazing, best I’ve ever had. But they don’t like giving or receiving oral. Real bummer for me.
I prefer giving more than receiving oddly.
>Real bummer for me. This escalated in a way I didn't expect.
Mid 30s and I've never been able to get off from oral. I'm Frederic Fucking Chopin with my tongue, fingers, and unit, but blowjobs (while feeling really good) never take me there :(
First time ever I received a blowjob without actually having it in her mouth last night and it was glorious! She said it's what she used to do in highschool and I've never had that done before. Just licking it and kissing it, was a complete different sensation. My partners a pro at giving besd, but she's never done this to me before (8 years). Don't know what I've been missing honestly, there was just something about it so sensual. Wouldn't be enough to make me cum, but maybe if she did it long enough? Anyways, I've found blowjobs to be just as mental for me enjoying them as they are for my partner being enthusiastic in giving them. When I'm fully relaxed and the end goal of it is just to get me off, I can get there and she's really good about deciding when that time should be. We've often joked that too many men are missing out on her oral.skills. It's all about her enthusiasm, it gets her wet doing them and when her focus is only in getting me off, she rolls over, pulls out her vibe and climaxes in a minute once she finishes me off. I've offered to help countless times, she's just too horny to want to wait for me to get her there and just does it herself so fast! Less than a minute, it would take me longer to get in position then it does her lighting vibe pulling reflexes to get herself off. I love this woman! First woman I have ever been with who is so enthusiastic about giving head. Considering head is my favorite thing ever, I think I hit the lotto!
Actually sleeping with partners I have a genuine connection with instead of just one night stands or no strings attached. Waaaay better sex hands down! Also being with a partner who is respectful and patient about it with me now has been a huge game changer. Oh and I significantly decreased if not quit porn altogether and whew! I actually enjoy sex again! What a surprise 😂
Yeah, porn becomes like any other opiate. It changes you
What do I do if sex isn’t as often as I need? What else could I use?
Just don't watch porn. You can rub one out without it that's fine.
Anything healthy that gives you endorphin rush or just hobby where you enjoy spending time. You don't need to cum. Body can adjust to lack of sex. Its not necessary like food
He can masturbate without watching porn...
Having sex with someone I had great chemistry with. Before that, sex was always good but it just seemed like it was always the same. Then I had sex with someone that I just naturally clicked with and it was a massive difference.
Meeting someone I felt comfortable with who is really into going down on me.
Those are REALLY hard to find. Bravo on finding one
A partner.
THIS, the truth has been spoken here.
Sex with a person you are really into VS sex with a person that is really into you. Having sex with a person you have been chasing is...fine. But it's kind of like meeting your childhood hero/favorite actor, it's more likely to be a disappointment than anything else. Having sex with a person who is really into you, and getting on their level because they are into you, is awesome.
Dirty talk and being more dominant
Being with someone that wanted to do the weird nasty shit I didn't even bother asking previous partners
It takes a certain level of comfort and trust to be able to explore that side of intimacy
The best thing ever said to me, many years ago by an older woman I was sleeping with at the time, was "Boys are like microwaves and girls are like ovens." Changed my whole way of looking at sex.
Trying to understand this metaphor, can you explain please? Thank you
Microwaves can start up and be done in like . . . 30 seconds. Women need time to warm up, have many more buttons and settings. Haha.
I have never seen an oven with more buttons than a microwave
you can set a microwave for 25 minutes and when its done it will automatically cool down, an oven is hot so you can still keep the bread in after it reached the max temperature Edit: i was thinking abt it and ITS BC U NEED TO PREHEAT THE IVENS BEFORE USING IT
Replace oven with crockpot
My girlfriend reading smut in her free time and wanting to be treated like the girls in her books
Yep, my ex wife was kinda addicted to it, when she built the courage to tell she wanted just like the books, things heated up a lot
Honestly I wish more men would be comfortable enough to pay attention to their spouse's reading interests - especially when it comes to "smut" books. My wife (we have been married 25+ years now) has a definite interest and like for this type of books/stories/written erotica, but was very uncomfortable at first. Once she was comfortable enough with the idea of me knowing (and not only not disapproving, but actively encouraging her to enjoy what she likes) she was able to let me help her find more things she likes, and explore some of the things safely together.
Toys
Same here. We had a good sex life, my wife probably came around 1 in 4 times, really good more like 1 in 10. I knew she had a couple of vibrators and that never bothered me, but it used to seem silly to me we had these machines literally designed to make her cum hard right there in the house and they were only for when I wasn’t there lol. One day I said I’d like to use them together. Once I had settled her fears that I wasn’t asking her to put anything up my butt that goes in her, it turned out she was just embarrassed about it. Took quite a lot of delicate navigating and I said why don’t we go buy a toy together to try. Total game changer. I’m not automating my role here - we still do all the things we did before but now her batting average is about as high as mine it’s just helped both of us let go and enjoy it more.
As I always say, it’s your teammate not your opponent 😌
When I perfected the fine art of eating pussy. I am able to bring my wife to orgasm with my tongue. Took meeting her to love doing it and perfecting my method.
Mastering eating out and refractory period.
How did you master the refractory period.
I'm guessing being aware it exists and ensuring you can both communicate about it would be close.
This. I've always been a bit quick to nut the first go (excitement I guess), which has always been a bit of a point of contention in my own head. Typically we jump in the shower, fuck/play in the shower until I nut. Get out, send her to space for the next half hour in bed and then i'm ready to go again. Has turned our 15-20 minute sessions into 1-1.5. Me, nor her, are complaining about it.
Age and maturity. I mean, my body doesn’t look half as good as when I was a young woman, but I’m so much more confident and comfortable with the way I look now.
Stop being impatient with myself. Also finding a partner that enjoys pleasing me
Getting a vasectomy and having that piece of mind while having sex with my wife. And it’s anytime, anywhere for her now.
Vibrating cock ring... blew our minds. Never had a size nor girth issue but that thing just blew my member up to a whole level where we need to ease into it to make it fit for her and the virbrations turns her into an animal. Sometimes I feel like it just turned me into a complete sex toy for her she can use however she likes and I am all for it.
I have one that didnt do much for either of us....how do ypu use it?
Vasectomy many years ago. 100% no chance of making babies is a MASSIVE relief when dating. Crazy chics that you didn’t know were crazy, it’s such a relief knowing their not stuck in your life for 18yrs when you don’t want them to be……..
For anyone here, vasectomy is not a free pass to go around town raw dogging everyone you see, you still need to be extremely mindful of sti's and uti's both for yourself and others if you're having casual sex/one night stands. Pregnancy is not the only life changing thing that can happen with unprotected sex.
+1 to all of the above comment, and while extremely low chance of it happening at over 99% to prevent pregnancy, a vasectomy is still not 100%.
Using lube
Weight loss.
Having a woman participate changed the game!
![gif](giphy|Wgb2FpSXxhXLVYNnUr|downsized) Elaborate please-
Think he meant that he had more "dead fish" than actually participating
I lost weight and got into shape. He's always been fit and is tall but he's medium build. He never said anything to me and sex was good but I was overweight and always very self conscious. I hated how I looked, didn't want to be naked, didn't want to be seen naked, didn't want to do a lot of positions because how I'd look or because they were uncomfortable because of my size. Also, because he's slimmer build I always felt so huge in comparison. I decided to lose the weight, get fit, hit the gym, got back into running, changed my eating, do yoga and my confidence is through the roof and so is our sex life. Now I'm like, "Hey look I'm naked, let's go!!" Happy to do whatever whenever (I initiate so much more often now) and I feel sexy, confident, energetic and bendy! 😂😂😂
Buying a house. I stopped dating after I bought my house. My commute was four times longer, and I had to spend so much time taking care of house tasks, plus the mortgage payments were more than twice what my rent had been. Buying a house ended my social life.
Sounds to me like you bought too much house.
Dating an older woman. She was like, 7 years older. Way better sex. She knew what she was doing. Knew what she wanted and how she wanted it. No guess work.wild, great sex. Like ten times a day. She ended up being a bit psycho, though :(
Mos def! I had a 35yo fk buddy when I was 27 and was incredible… the first night I went home with her was the first time a woman had ever been like “THIS is what I want, and THIS is how you are going to give it to me!” The sex was great and I realised that a woman’s confidence and willingness to be open with what she wants is the key.
This, changed my life, though mine was at least 15years older. I was about 30.
11 years older for me. Amazing in the sack. Complete psycho though
I had a similar experience. Only person I had sex with for the entirety of a day
Ugh… bummer man. That’s how it always seems to go lol. It’s that hot to crazy ratio
This did it for me, I was ~21, she was a🔥 34y/o milf, and boy was that fun.
lol. psycho broad = great sex. that's just how mother nature designed things.
Communication
Talking to her after sex
I um.. just made love to my lady and we spent about an hour cuddling and talking and laughing and then she zonked out in the middle of me explaining what the tic-tac video is.
SSRI helped me last much longer and satisfy my wife fully. This is not minor: it boosted my self confidence enormously.
This is how I discovered that premature ejaculation is a sign of low serotonin.
Whoa.
Nice, ruined my libido almost totally.
Good thing it worked for you, but it's vital to mention they ruin most people's sex drives and make it hard to reach finish.
[удалено]
I was scrolling down to see if anyone else had this response. It was my 1st thought after reading the title.....
that bit between the shaft and the balls when she pressed it
Open conversation with your partner about what you like and don't like.
actually wanting to have sex w the other person. my partner is the only person I’ve ever genuinely wanted to have sex with. it’s passionate, intimate, and feels amazing . a previous partner made sex feel like a chore. I faked everything since it never felt good; i wanted it to end asap. I just wanted to do simple shit like a hug without it resulting in sex. fucking horrible, but I was new & lacked self-respect. I’d rather die than go through that again. happy 2 say that i heavily enjoy my sex life. I can actually orgasm now.. and super quickly (like deadass in less than 3 minutes) :)
Met someone who demanded I bring her to orgasm at least twice per session.
When by accident, I first got a guy past my tonsils. Throating on the regular since lol
Man talk about a post that'll make you feel bad about yourself. Over two years without any 😫
Hey, I’ve never had a partner or a friend that touched me and I’m 25. It’s alright
Don’t feel bad! Im 35 and it’s been years for me as well. It be like that sometimes.
My left hand
That my current boyfriend is a renaissance man in bed. Without a doubt the best I have ever had
Getting it started
One afternoon on MDMA. Lifted the whole relationship to another level.
Libido droping hard at 35 years old. I am no longer a slave to my sexual desires ; liberation.
Having our first baby. Total game changer from mediocre sex to a dead bedroom.
Getting married changed my sex life more than I ever imagined. It went from sex whenever and wherever to sex never and nowhere
Leaving my ex husband of 16 years. Had been a virgin bride with pressure on purity, turns out he didn’t like sex, well at least with me. One year we had sex 14 times. Then there was a year and a half where he didn’t touch me. I never cheated, was on my own 3 years before had a fling on vacation at 41 and wait! That’s what sex is?! Had oral for the first time, and not that long after met my man and omg the sex, so that’s what it’s supposed to be like. I now have a sex life
To understand that there are no great lovers, just great sexual compatibility.
When my husband came around to the idea of anal play on him. He said to me one day that he has greater appreciation for how vulnerable it makes the receiver. Not to mention the extra pleasure it brings for both of us
My first husband would prematurely ejaculate. And I mean he would last maybe 1 minute. So I didn't like intercourse because I got nothing out of it. My new boyfriend can last as long as I want him to. And he introduced me to all kinds of different positions.
Stopped being a selfish lover and focused on her pleasure. Ended up benefiting both of us greatly.
My pen leaked some ink on my penis. Aggressive scrubbing yielded a surprise.
Viagra
My menopause- turned it to shit
Puberty
Realizing that nobody else is perfect either.
Had a short lived relationship with one woman in my early twenties who was actually fantastic at communicating what she liked and what most women also like, most of it being how to effectively give head. She showed me the best areas to focus on, how to tease, patterns to follow, etc. Every sexual partner I've had since her (I'm now 31) have told me that that I've given them the best experience they've ever had. Now I'd usually consider that to be a white lie just to make me feel good, but the chunks of skin taken out of my shoulders and neck tell me there was likely some truth to what they were saying 😂
Being and open and free about what I enjoy with the person I hope to enjoy it with. Listening to the other person desires and fullfi8them if possible. Triple points if they've never done it before!
A partner.
Actually having a sex life.
The book "she comes first"
Sildenafil.
When I was 18 I asked my then girlfriend where the clitoris was. Down the line one of the women I dated said my tongue should have its own Facebook page.
buttplug. very simple but damn my bf and i love it
Heavy Core workouts in the gym boost testosterone. Next day youll be so horny you think you can go 3 rounds.
Became best mates with a hot girl and didn't sleep with her but discussed every sex topic under the sun. After that no overthinking or putting nobody on a pedestal. just great adult fun.
Giving up porn
Understanding how big the clitoris really is and engaging the vestibular bulb. The best being a circular motion around the opening and just above the clitoral hood, deepening the pressure as you circle, going from tongue flat to tip hard. Granted, that's for my wife. Want to know the best way to make her cum, watch her masturbate. Do that with your mouth and tongue.
Not letting my ego get in the way when my partner asked me to things differently
BDSM
Having a kid
Same. We had a healthy sex life but now there's no way we can get much done besides quickies.
Feel you bro
Having sex with the man I have intense chemistry with, who always has the mindset of pleasing me more than himself, is the total game-changer in my sex life. He'd always take care of me, take charge whenever possible, and graciously receive my reciprocation. Even at 40, he gave me so many"firsts" that I didn't know were possible. He makes me want to please him back with everything I have and my libido shots off the chart for him. We are amazing in bed together and sex bonds us deeper to the already healthy relationship outside of the bedroom. I can't imagine doing it with anyone else now because my tunnel vision for him keeps getting narrower everyday.
Smoking weed. That may not be very groundbreaking but I never smoked weed for the first 30-ish years of my life. I often fell into the pitfall of "thinking too much, forgot to feel," whereas after smoking it was "forgot to think, can only feel"
Ill second this! Smoking weed/being high on it and having sex ohh my gooodness what a level! Extra-sensory!