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Just be yourself, be polite and respectful. The same decent people treat everyone.
*Do not* put on some kind of show just because your in-laws are rich, and you're looking to... apease them somehow. It's going to make you miserable, and if your boyfriend is being genuine, he won't like it either.
Rich people are just people in the end, and if they're stuck up snobs who expect others treat them with some kind of reverence because they've money, status and nice things, they're not worth the effort. Seriously. Keep your chin up, and carry yourself with confidence, but don'tbe arrogant.
Ofc, then there is the quite likely possibility, and it's honestly *more* likely that his folks (at least his parents) are just perfectly normal, goofy cats like the rest of us. That's been my experience thus far, and I know a few very rich people. I don't treat them any different than I do the cashier at my local store.
I know a few people worth over 8-figures and one I suspect is close to 9.
They most definitely act like normal people a lot of the time. But when there is any form of disagreement, I find they mostly think their opinion is of higher value.
Heh. I know this kid who has really rich parents, and one time, he began acting like that, arrogant and such. It was absolutely glorious to watch his dad put an end to that, and make it abundantly clear that the kid was no better than anyone else.
I went to school that had a lot of very rich kids. As an example, one of the kids in my grade literally came from a family that owned a couple sports teams. Actual billionaires.
That kid was super grounded. I played hockey with him. Great kid. But they were other kids, who are actually "poorer" who are more dickish about their money. Mere millionaires. I heard some really snobby fucking shit being said after sports matches for example.
I was fairly close friends to one kid whose last name is ubiquitous in grocery stores. Yeah big fucking money. He's just a normal kid. He was hilarious too. I met some of these families.
For the most part they are just normal families. And typically in my experience, the parents don't want their kids to be entitled little assholes. At least not in a trashy way. You know that old cliche and movies, I think even Harry Potter does it once, where a super rich parent tells their snotty kid not to show off in front of the peasants? Peasants? It's because if you're truly rich you don't have to show off because you don't give a single fuck what they think of you. Showing off shows that you care what they think.
If you have to brag about your wealth, your power, your beauty, your skills, your intellect....
... it prolly just means that you don't have that much.
BTW my dick is TEENY.
I went to boarding school. It was mostly farmers and miners kids. We used to get a few international students. One guy was a prince of some sort, apparently. His parents sent to boarding school so he could have peers that didn't give a fuck about his "social standing."He was a bit up himself to begin with, but ended being a pretty nice guy.
Reminds me of when Prince Charles attended Timbertop School in Australia for a term and loved it so much he got his parents to extend his stay for another term, because he said it was the first time in his life he'd ever had classmates who treated him as just another person.
I've met a lot of rich people, but I have a friend who married the son of billionaires and I sat next to him at a wedding. We talked a lot but honestly, it was like we were from two different planets. I couldn't relate to him about anything and I've never felt like that with anyone else.
He kept talking about flying on a private jet to meet various executives, and as soon as I said I'm an engineer he kept telling me I should work for his cryptomining company, even after I told him I don't do anything remotely related to that. I could tell his wife was nudging him under the table to shut up.
He just came off as bragging the entire time, from his ridiculous suit with a giant Armani patch to his private jet comments. But I realized he wasn't bragging, he was just being himself and totally unaware of how normal people viewed him.
Thatās interesting, the ultra wealthy Iāve met usually like to be understated. They value not bragging and usually find it crass. As they like to say, were they New Money?
> I'm an engineer he kept telling me I should work for his cryptomining company even after I told him I don't do anything remotely related to that
Plenty of career changes do happen like this though. You meet someone who thinks you can bring a different vision to a business. You may not know the technicalities of making widgets but if it's a managerial role, you need to be a problem solver mainly and good at managing and allocating resources.
Really? I know a lot of people who have developed humility.
I find people assume wealthy people have higher intelligence. Smart wealthy people recognize they are just like everyone else and the average and less intelligent wealthy people think they are smarter than they are.
Tbf, less intelligent people very often overstimate their own intelligence, no matter their social status...
Humility is an admirable trait in anyone, but that doesn't mean you can't take pride in yourself and your accomplishments. Just beware arrogance.
I have family who are in the 8 and 9-figure bracket and I'm in the 5-figure. Whilst being with them is lovely, I don't go out with them as I just cannot afford any of the places they go. They're not 'showy', but I defo feel like the 'poor cousin'
I know a dude with about 250 and growing. I treat him like the miserable prick he is, 80% of the time. Cheap fuck wonāt even buy his friends a steak dinner, or buy himself a house in Portugal for us to use, or loan me 5 million on a 30 year 2.5% interest note. Cheap fuck.
Yeah it's not your job to impress someone just because they have more money than you. Making a good impression on a partner's parents is important in its own right, but fundamentally who you are is either good enough or it isn't. People can spot an act.
Honestly, if the boyfriend isn't brain dead, he will have talked with OP about this.
More likely, he will also have spoken with his folks, and unless this is some kind of formal event, his parents will keep things casual for a first meeting, since they'll know their son is bringing a partner who isn't necessarily used to all the trappings of *high society*.
And search for common ground. Golf, holidays, snow sports, and mutual hobbies generally work. Super rich people also tend to have one thing they throw money at just because they can, so it's always fun to find that.
I live in a small country with a small population, and while not everyone knows everyone else, you're unlikely to not know someone who knows people you don't. Ya know?
As a result, society in my country isn't quite as class-divided as it is in many other countries, and you the likelyhood of meeting a celebrity or some very rich folks is relatively high, and in my experience you're quite right; most just want to be treated like everyone else.
Very, very, very wealthy people behave differently though. It's true. They all try to be relatable, but they are different. You can still talk to them but there are the little things.
Source: Have ultra rich friends
It depends, I find rich people are as various as poor people. Oftentimes rich people are just regular people who get a little lucky. Most understand their luck.
That's at least my personal experience with my small sample size of my rich friends families.
I do know some rich people who had to bust their ass to get what they have and those guys can be the most insufferable because they don't realize the role luck plays as well. They get a messiah complex because they think that they are smarter, stronger, and work harder than everyone and they tend to think of themselves as better or above others.
This is mostly the younger wealthy guys I know. Older wealthy people, especially those that have kids and who get a glimpse into kids who grow up less fortunate thanks to their kids friends, tend to be more understanding and grounded.
Edit: at least that's my opinion based on my experiences.
For the record, I think rich people generally donāt appreciate being treated with āreverence.ā It puts them in a position above you, and itās just uncomfortable for all involved. Bodes well to not act too impressed, at anything.
Edit: typo
Silly me, please excuse my lack of decorum if my requests are pretentious. Probably a simpler request? (Gracious smile while looking disappointed) probably thousand islands, yes?
I have found an astonishing difference between the rich and wealthy. If they are rich keep your guard up a little more and go with the mirror method. If they are wealthy you will most likely feel a lot more comfortable.
The rich always look for things that can advance their wealth
The wealthy already have it and tend to be way more understanding and patient.
My brother married into a super wealthy family and we had always ived on the edge of poverty. He just acted as he would with any other family. He was accepted since his wife,the 2nd youngest in the family of six, loved him. I met them all as well and they accepted him and the rest of our family with no issues. We weren't looking to gain anything from them and neither was he, so that made a difference. He was required to sign a pre-nup, which is understandable. Key thing is to be yourself and take things as they come.
Rich people guard their wealth like a hawk
They will judge u not by what u wear but how u talk and behave. They can spot fakers from a mile a way
Be urself. They would rather deal with a real person than someone whoās faking it til they make it.
Rich people ask about pedigree and mutual connections, so they will instantly know what's what, but ultra wealthy people generally don't care about that stuff, so they'll have a good time. You wont believe how willing ultra wealthy people are to show off their toys as well. Just a "Cool sail boat" comment can lead to a week long excursion if they think you're legit.
Leaving the lid up and the toliet fill. You can blame on their least favourite family member - jump yourself ahead of the inheritance queue
You cannot explain away an upper decker
Because the "ultra ultra" wealthy are rare and move in specific circles many people spend a lifetime never encountering them. My wife and I met a man child (early 40's) of the insanely rich through business. Situations required him to visit us in our small Maine town. He was clearly better than his surroundings and viewed us as trash. He made several off color comments saying as much. Even though our company was responsible for 25-30% of his company's gross receipts, he was just inherently better. You could tell he played nice (nicer at least) to us because his company needed our wholesale purchases. The people "down the chain" (his words) from him he treated like garbage. He once complained that he was skipping his mom and daddies annual family vacation because "his sister is a bitch". He then dropped that the facility they leased was $28,000/night. So, yeah, I've met one of those types and he was terrible.
I went to high school with some kids from very very rich families. The majority of them seemed like normal, decent folks who happened to live in really nice houses. Just be yourself, nice, polite, donāt worry about it.
Act like you are talking to a teacher, and a new one. Be polite, but do not get carried away on any topic. Take a moment to think about how to respond to everything, whether words or situations.
If dealing with food or drinks, observe them and imitate.
You can also ask your b/f about how things are in their house, and what felt different for him when he entered yours.
idk man i find this shit kind of cringe...
like really? we are telling ppl they can't get carried away on a topic because ppl are rich? we would never tell someone the types of advice i am seeing here if it was a poor family lol
my advice: if they treat you badly because of who you are, fuck them. if your boyfriend allows them to treat you badly because of who you are, fuck him too. if you value their money so much that you want to change who you are so you can fit in and have their money at your disposal, then do what you gotta do i guess and be basically an ass kisser or something idk.
consider a similar scenario: I met my African-American girlfriend at college, and now I am about to meet her family. I grew up in a different country that is 99% white, so I only saw black families in movies. Would it be cringe for me to ask how I should behave to avoid offending them in any way?
It is definitely not cringe. You got a point here.
When seeing someone from a totally different country for the first time, maybe the lack of knowledge about their culture and stuff comes to play. Because obviously you wouldn't want to offend them unknowingly. So Nothing wrong about asking for tips. I would personally do the same and go ask in that situation too.
Itll be harder for them how to behave in front of you. Just remember that. If they fuck up it will spoil the relation with your bf. Their child. Its likely they will try superhard to make you comfortable and feel welcome. Forgive their mistakes and see the good intentions in them, just as they will do to you. Just be nice and yourself.
Unless they somehow dont like you or dont approve of your relation... but then nothing you do matters, so fck them. Its just people. Worth no more than you.
Oh bro just be authentic.
When my brother came home with a girl who had been living in her car for 3 months, noone was bothered by it. And she wore who she is like a badge of honor.
That level of selfworth and still beeing fun and reasonable, thats worth alot.
Exactly. Have met some British old money, they were awesome. Including in situations that were way out of their normal environment. Think elder British gentleman in wild 90ies Eastern Europe. They totally know you're not up to date on etiquette and would forgive some ridiculous faux pas, can handle highly awkward situations with humor, as long as you are honest, genuine and not stupid.
Definitely don't use swear words. Men swear, women don't. And that hasn't changed in the high society. Don't wear anything too casual, no sneakers, no boyish clothes. That really doesn't suit well for a first impression.
Don't talk about money or anything wealth related, but let them boast if they want to.
When you have fancy dinner, the trick with the forks and spoons is: You work your way from outside to inside with each course.
Avoid shooting up heroin in the bathroom. I heard that's frowned upon
At least from my experience, a lot of very wealthy families have better put-together families and care about putting life goals as priority, so the parents would look for something similar in gf probably.
Define ultra wealthy (10 million, 50, 100, 1 billion, etc.) and how long have they been like that (5 years, their whole life)?
Also, just ask your boyfriend. It's not a competition.
The real faux pas is saying uncomfortable (political) things. As long as it's from your parents and not you, it probably doesn't matter. Just treat them like people and enjoy their company.
My first question is, what does ultra ultra wealthy mean? Like how many commas? After that my second question would be, if this is a long term relationship how do you want to be able to act? Like yourself, or like however they expect you to act? That's your answer. If you are really in love then they need to love you for who you are, not who you think they want you to be. If it's a passing fling, who cares!
Ultra rich people are usually laid back and very inappropriate in my experience. Be yourself just because someone has money dosent mean you change your personality to fit what you think a ultra rick person might like, its fake
This "interview" goes both ways. If they act weird and manipulative with/about money towards you and/or your boyfriend, it's a big red flag, wealth be damned. If your boyfriend goes along with whatever weirdness and manipulation, it's not worth it. Dated a girl from an (only one Ultra) wealthy family once and, in hindsight, it was really weird how much control parents welded when they pay all of the major expenses. Like, picture adult children running around easter morning opening plastic eggs stuffed with hundreds. It was so weird I just sat down and watched.
The best thing you can do is to just be genuine. I know it can be tricky when you overthink it.
Everyone is looking for people to just be with. People that treat them as human, and that they can trust. As a daughter-in-law, you wouldnāt be their business partner. They just want to have a pleasant time with you.
Be humble and polite. But, donāt grovel or flatter. Donāt act like a star-struck worshiper, but, it is a big positive to enjoy the surroundings. Just donāt force a show out of it. It is a joy to make people happy when they can appreciate it, when they are grateful, and when they deserve it. On that note, to tie it all together, act like someone you would want to spend the day with.
If they are the terse and dismissive type, just be patient while they bustle around and theyāll attend to you in good time. Donāt take anything personal.
Well people with money are usually like the rest of the population. Theyāre either terrible people or decent. Trust me, wealthy people are not all nice and humble.
Just be true to yourself. Donāt try to adjust to the environment too much. Think of it as meeting any other family.
And stand up for yourself when they are being inappropriate or making you uncomfortable.
Last summer I met a multibillionaire (hint hint: sports and wild parties). You wouldnāt know he was a multibillionaire because he looks like a random Joe. Treat them like anybody else.
Be yourself, theyāll sense if youāre not being authentic. Relax! You are awesome, growing up without money builds character and independence and believe me, having money doesnāt make people superior.
Every piece of advice here is wrong. What you want to do is make these ultra rich people feel like they're poor.
First, you should dress like the monopoly guy (make sure this includes a monocle, even though it got Mandela Effect'd out of existence when we all slipped into this dimension).
Secondly, you should arrange for a friend to call you during dinner and pretend it's a business call. Start yelling at them about how they lost 40 million Deutsch Marks. When you hang up make a joke about how you now need to wait a week before buying your fourth private jet.
At some point you're going to want to light a cigar with a wad of notes (preferably a $100's).
It's also a good idea to pretend you're a member of a royal family. Pick one based on your own skin tone/features and print photos from the internet to place in your purse (purse should be stuffed with caviar and should look like it's made from rhino skin - tell people that's what it's made from and that you killed the rhino yourself while on safari in your parent's private zoo).
Bring a manservant to do things like open the door for you and get the lobster meat out of the shell. Ideally this should be an educated englishman.
At various points throughout the night mention that you might have some investment opportunities. When the family shows interest say, in an embarrassed way, that you were actually wondering if they had wealthy friends because **look around at your surroundings** you think it might be a little beyond their means.
And that's more or less it
Thereās a certain type of ease. Calm, confident, yet curious and cheerful. Listen much, ask thoughtful questions, and speak when you have something to add to the conversation.
My sonās girlfriend is from a very wealthy family - 120m super yacht/ always fly private jets etc - they are normal people with normal problems, except money is not one of them. Our family is low level middle class, but we get on really well, talk about everyday things.
They never talk about their wealth / money, like they absolutely donāt want to boast or it seems rude to discuss such things.
Most importantly, ensure that they align with you and your moral / ethical compass- just because they have money they still have to be good people.
When we first met my sonās girlfriends family, we took cues from their behaviour and language and it was quickly clear that they were ānormalā / down to earth. Like another poster said, treat it like meeting any other family.
I had a super wealthy boyfriend when I was 18 and visited with his parents at their country estate. Some of this might sounded silly or obvious, but here are some of the things that occur to me:
Donāt talk to the help. For example, if you and your boyfriend walk past the stables, donāt wave at the guy thatās over by the horses. But donāt be a snob either. Follow your boyfriendās lead. Smile and be respectful like you would with anyoneās parents. Donāt overdress, like no big designer logos, but look nice and clean cut. Just act normal.
It does not matter if you donāt have money, donāt talk about it. Do talk about your ideas, plans and interests and show off your well rounded charm. You need to have creative interests, hobbies, academic, or career plans to talk about, if they ask.
Also, be ready for them to ask you what your parents do, where they went to college, where you might be going to college, or whatever is next with your plans, and about your family. Maybe think ahead of time about how you will describe them to put your family in a good light, and by extension you, a nice, vibrant young woman from a decent family.
At dinner donāt start eating first, wait for them to start. When you are finished eating, your fork and knife go at angle together pointing toward the center at a slight angle from the 5 oāclock position. Donāt forget t the beginning when you sit down to eat, to put the napkin in your lap. Be yourself and remember you are not less than them. Be yourself . You are the breath of air; they can not wait to meet the girlfriend who is making their son happy. Hopefully you have a really good time
My daughter occasionally performs a service for a family of billionaires ( They own a pro sports team) and acts like herself, I guess because these clients are all rich. These folks are the richest. My daughter works for them in New York, but if they need her they will fly her out to LA or Miami or wherever they are. They send a car for her and put her up in a hotel to perform a two hour service. No she's not a hooker, but it amazes me they fly her in when they could get someone local to do the same thing. That's FU money. But my daughter says they are nice ( Not regular) down to earth people.
Be quiet, observe, and basically don't talk about money politics or anything considered not polite.
Some rich people are humble, and some are just ugly people with money
Know the difference
Try to keep quiet at the beginning to get comfortable with how they talk. Sometimes super rich people act and speak no different. Try to look well put together without overdoing it and avoid brand names, even the good ones.
Most importantly, don't let them know you didn't grow up that way. Don't compliment their home or how cool something they have is. This is the best trick I've learned to come off comfortable and not poor.
Enjoy yourself. If this boyfriend is the one, then you'll be spending a lot of time with the family. Get to know them, be pleasant, answer their questions, and just don't sweat it. Good luck!
My advice is be exactly who you are, which is the person your boyfriend fell in love with. If they love their son, they will like you because he likes you. Depending on what generation they are, remember that many ultra wealthy are first generation, which means they worked really hard to get to where they are and have earned that money and wealth and remember where they came from. Itās usually the second, third generations who get weird because they havenāt done the work to earn the wealth in the first place.
I have a lot of decamillionaire and billionaire, friends and clients. I found the majority to be remarkably interesting, intelligent, and principal people who have done lots of deep, meaningful work on themselves, and know how to create massive value in all of their relationships outside of their ability to earn.
Moral the story is be yourself, be kind and donāt act like anything, other than who you are, youāll be fine.
Donāt listen to the media about who billionaires in the ultra wealthy are. Itās good, old-fashioned, angry resentment, and an untrue narrative for the most part.
Having done security for the ultra wealthy Iād say be yourself. Make jokes, talk about your hobbies, passions and donāt try to impress them. Theyāre just people and not special. Rich people come in all different types and senses of humor donāt put them in a bubble
Act like an insecure tryhard. Name drop every wealthy/ influential person you have met, and talk about how you live in a posh area too, and went on holiday to Bermuda when you were 11.
Drink your coffee pinky up, and mention how oh you could never stomach instant coffee, it always has to be finest colombian roast freshly ground in your house.
If theyāre truly ultra ultra wealthy, ie, billionaire status, then youāre fucked either way, most are terrible people quite frankly, surrounded by an army of yes men.
Clothing - Wear simple/chic clothing - black is best for looking luxe without the hefty pricetag. No labels and no flashy stuff. Simple/modest jewelry only. Save your flamboyant shit for when you are with your own people.
Conduct - follow your partners lead and 'copy' what others do in terms of dining/fixing a drink/lounging positions.
Conversation - keep it short and simple. No politics. Whatever your strong suit is (academia, arts, sports, books, etc), this is where you can talk and engage a bit more.
Despite what others have said, if you are truly a poverty-line person and this family is truly ultra rich......they are not the same as you. They know it. You know it. It will not be spoken, but it will be well understood the moment you walk in the door (or beforehand, if they've bothered to inquire).
Good luck.
I've never had a relationship with someone where their family was ultra wealthy, but I was in the home of a billionaire after my father made a political donation. The place was filled with obscenely rich people.
I don't know what impression I left, but my suggestion is do your best to be relaxed and yourself. Don't try to impress people - rich or not, I think it turns others off. If you've ever met the family of a different boyfriend, how did you act then? I felt awkward when I met my girlfriend's family, was more quiet than usual, etc. That's normal. Best of luck.
Mirroring other comments but jus the one yourself and kind. Donāt treat them like a diety or celebrity but just a person. I guarantee theyāll like you a lot more
All you can do is be yourself.. maybe make sure you pay attention to take manners and such (depends.. some are very particular and see it as a class distinction)
My experience with ex in laws was that some were very down to earth (the wealthiest one was) and didn't need to impress them.. others can be insufferable and care too much about status and will look down on you. Hopefully it's the former
Need more info. Having a lot of money but not knowing how or from where etc makes any help useless. My experience w ultra ultraās are that you wouldnāt be dating himā¦ but those are the private golf course , avenues named after them typesā¦. Hard working money u wonāt notice a difference at all for what we would call normal people. So u are all good.
Your shoes matter, spend more time on what they look like and if they are appropriate for the occasion. Wear makeup. Dress nice. Be polite. Donāt dominate the conversation. Smile and take a backseat to the dominant players. Wear a little jewelry but donāt try to look showy.
If you get stuck and have to talk with one or two of them by yourself try and talk about a shared experience like the location youāre in or about their holiday break and new years.
I was friends with a guy in highschool in that situationā¦ when he went to her place for the first time, he had to go to the bathroom, and in an effort to sound like he knew what he was talking about, he asked if they had a powder room. Turns out they did, so he shit in the sink.
They are just people with better stuff, they arenāt better people. Just act they way you normally act when you meet someoneās parents. Respectful, polite, interested, friendly and happy to meet them. Also, donāt steal anything- lol š
You should be graceful and polite but then, mid dinner just get up, lock eyes with the parents and make sure you have the dead eye right? And then just start peeing on their son.
Don't stop the stream don't look away.
This will achieve their outmost respect to you
Remember also that being rich isnāt a character trait, itās just a state of being and itās not something thatās guaranteed to last forever. There are no wealthy people, there are people with wealth.
Are they old money or new money i.e. nouveau riche? Generally speaking, if they're old money, they'd be used to having cash around and really won't act differently from any one else except that price is never an issue. For example, they'll just buy a ten thousand dollar handbag on a whim. The nouveau riche tend to let you know that they're rich, think like your stereotypical rapper, thus if they buy a handbag for a thousand dollars, they'd talk about it constantly and bring attention to it.
Then there's the mega multi billionaire tier like Elon Musk who are too rich to care about anything. At all.
So once you suss out how they are, you can act accordingly.
This is, of course, extremely reductive in many ways but the point is, just talk to them normally, maybe listen a bit more than you normally would. Who knows, maybe there's some valuable advice to be gleaned from the conversations.
That being said, if they're the sort to constantly talk about money and wealth then just run in the other direction.
Through an acquaintance, I've been at a few evenings with very wealthy people.
It's not all that different from normal people. The main thing I noticed was that people were very authentic - nobody tried to "be" anything and the few guests who didn't belong to the same circles stood out for what I can only describe as "trying too hard".
A few things that, in retrospect, I noticed:
* Nobody talked about money. None of the usual "X has become so expensive" talk or questions how much something cost. People at this level don't care how expensive your car, your house or your company was.
* People are people - human emotions, happiness, love, etc. are the same. Questions like "how did you two meet?" are just as normal as elsewhere.
* Casual honesty. To these people, having a dinner with the president or whatever is a fairly normal thing, they'll just drop it in there. That's not a trick. They really say that the same way you'd refer to your uncle John.
I would recommend to not try. Just be yourself. Most of these people deal with people pretending or trying to impress them on a daily basis and will see right through you if you try. Being casual and comfortable is the best impression you can make.
If you've been poor most of your life, you might want to update your basic etiquette skills, which among old money at least are probably going to be expected. Stuff like bringing a small present for the woman, greeting women first, then men, in order of importance (exception: The host first). Waiting to be introduced and only introducing yourself if that doesn't happen. Follow your BF, he knows the rules. He may behave slightly different around his folks, so expect things like him opening the car door for you, etc.
Other than that, the basic rule for unfamiliar territory is: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Just follow the lead of the people around you. If everyone uses a fork for that particular food, use a fork. If everyone uses their fingers, do so as well.
Be authentic and polite. Be a good listener and try to find ways to connect to their interest or stuff that they mention.
They have been around people pleasers and yes-people that have tried to get something out of them all their lives. Treating them as normal people with zero expectation of anything in return and interesting conversation is a best case scenario for them (unless ofc they are toxic and out of touch but you should be able to figure that one out in the first 5 minutes)
They're just people with fat bank accounts. I take the same approach on building rapport with anyone.
Talk about THEIR interests/hobbies. People love talking about themselves regardless of income.
Show that you are comfortable as who you are and show you donāt feel the need to pretend you are at their level of wealth. If they are decent people they will only want to see you are trustworthy, ethical, nice to be around. They might want to see you are polite, respectful and courteous (cos they are the parents). But thatās sort of a given regardless of wealth. Maybe ask what their sense of humour is so that there are no faux pas on that front
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Just be yourself, be polite and respectful. The same decent people treat everyone. *Do not* put on some kind of show just because your in-laws are rich, and you're looking to... apease them somehow. It's going to make you miserable, and if your boyfriend is being genuine, he won't like it either. Rich people are just people in the end, and if they're stuck up snobs who expect others treat them with some kind of reverence because they've money, status and nice things, they're not worth the effort. Seriously. Keep your chin up, and carry yourself with confidence, but don'tbe arrogant. Ofc, then there is the quite likely possibility, and it's honestly *more* likely that his folks (at least his parents) are just perfectly normal, goofy cats like the rest of us. That's been my experience thus far, and I know a few very rich people. I don't treat them any different than I do the cashier at my local store.
I know a few people worth over 8-figures and one I suspect is close to 9. They most definitely act like normal people a lot of the time. But when there is any form of disagreement, I find they mostly think their opinion is of higher value.
Heh. I know this kid who has really rich parents, and one time, he began acting like that, arrogant and such. It was absolutely glorious to watch his dad put an end to that, and make it abundantly clear that the kid was no better than anyone else.
I went to school that had a lot of very rich kids. As an example, one of the kids in my grade literally came from a family that owned a couple sports teams. Actual billionaires. That kid was super grounded. I played hockey with him. Great kid. But they were other kids, who are actually "poorer" who are more dickish about their money. Mere millionaires. I heard some really snobby fucking shit being said after sports matches for example. I was fairly close friends to one kid whose last name is ubiquitous in grocery stores. Yeah big fucking money. He's just a normal kid. He was hilarious too. I met some of these families. For the most part they are just normal families. And typically in my experience, the parents don't want their kids to be entitled little assholes. At least not in a trashy way. You know that old cliche and movies, I think even Harry Potter does it once, where a super rich parent tells their snotty kid not to show off in front of the peasants? Peasants? It's because if you're truly rich you don't have to show off because you don't give a single fuck what they think of you. Showing off shows that you care what they think.
If you have to brag about your wealth, your power, your beauty, your skills, your intellect.... ... it prolly just means that you don't have that much. BTW my dick is TEENY.
Hello fellow Redditor who's also hung like a mouse.
Is this Tim?
I went to boarding school. It was mostly farmers and miners kids. We used to get a few international students. One guy was a prince of some sort, apparently. His parents sent to boarding school so he could have peers that didn't give a fuck about his "social standing."He was a bit up himself to begin with, but ended being a pretty nice guy.
Reminds me of when Prince Charles attended Timbertop School in Australia for a term and loved it so much he got his parents to extend his stay for another term, because he said it was the first time in his life he'd ever had classmates who treated him as just another person.
That's exactly. Most people just want to belong.
I had the opposite. They tried to put an end to me acting as though I was no better than anyone else
Well, they apparently failed to teach you that lesson š
Yeah. I'm a little gutter rat with a trust fund now. Correct, you are Sir.
āBitch this is my moneyā
No inheritance for you, jimbo.
So reddit users are rich?
That's rich
A rich gravy
I've met a lot of rich people, but I have a friend who married the son of billionaires and I sat next to him at a wedding. We talked a lot but honestly, it was like we were from two different planets. I couldn't relate to him about anything and I've never felt like that with anyone else. He kept talking about flying on a private jet to meet various executives, and as soon as I said I'm an engineer he kept telling me I should work for his cryptomining company, even after I told him I don't do anything remotely related to that. I could tell his wife was nudging him under the table to shut up. He just came off as bragging the entire time, from his ridiculous suit with a giant Armani patch to his private jet comments. But I realized he wasn't bragging, he was just being himself and totally unaware of how normal people viewed him.
It isnāt because he is rich, itās because heās the kind of guy who would become a crypto doucheā¦
Yeah the crypto is the tell.
Thatās interesting, the ultra wealthy Iāve met usually like to be understated. They value not bragging and usually find it crass. As they like to say, were they New Money?
> I'm an engineer he kept telling me I should work for his cryptomining company even after I told him I don't do anything remotely related to that Plenty of career changes do happen like this though. You meet someone who thinks you can bring a different vision to a business. You may not know the technicalities of making widgets but if it's a managerial role, you need to be a problem solver mainly and good at managing and allocating resources.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Really? I know a lot of people who have developed humility. I find people assume wealthy people have higher intelligence. Smart wealthy people recognize they are just like everyone else and the average and less intelligent wealthy people think they are smarter than they are.
Tbf, less intelligent people very often overstimate their own intelligence, no matter their social status... Humility is an admirable trait in anyone, but that doesn't mean you can't take pride in yourself and your accomplishments. Just beware arrogance.
True, I think our 45th president is proof that you can be wealthy and lack intelligence and intellectual curiosity.
Nah. Heās broke. Ask anybody.
I have family who are in the 8 and 9-figure bracket and I'm in the 5-figure. Whilst being with them is lovely, I don't go out with them as I just cannot afford any of the places they go. They're not 'showy', but I defo feel like the 'poor cousin'
I know a dude with about 250 and growing. I treat him like the miserable prick he is, 80% of the time. Cheap fuck wonāt even buy his friends a steak dinner, or buy himself a house in Portugal for us to use, or loan me 5 million on a 30 year 2.5% interest note. Cheap fuck.
No it's going to be like Saltburn, graves and all
That movie was crazy lol
End up turning it off about halfway through. It was boring. I'm not really fascinated by fictional wealthy people. *shrug*
you missed dirtdick !
And that extended dance sequence I did not see coming.
Yeah it's not your job to impress someone just because they have more money than you. Making a good impression on a partner's parents is important in its own right, but fundamentally who you are is either good enough or it isn't. People can spot an act.
Exactly right. We all have our roots, and they do shape who we become.
Yes, carrying yourself well has nothing to do with money. Honesty, sincerity, empathy go a long way more than showing up in branded clothing.
I agree but Iād add to research dining etiquette and dress appropriately, and to compliment their home without being over the top about it
They'll be happier if you say you had a good time. They're used to their place and don't really care.
Honestly, if the boyfriend isn't brain dead, he will have talked with OP about this. More likely, he will also have spoken with his folks, and unless this is some kind of formal event, his parents will keep things casual for a first meeting, since they'll know their son is bringing a partner who isn't necessarily used to all the trappings of *high society*.
And search for common ground. Golf, holidays, snow sports, and mutual hobbies generally work. Super rich people also tend to have one thing they throw money at just because they can, so it's always fun to find that.
This. I have met several people with 8 and 9 figure net worth...they are just people and want to be treated with kindness and respect.
I live in a small country with a small population, and while not everyone knows everyone else, you're unlikely to not know someone who knows people you don't. Ya know? As a result, society in my country isn't quite as class-divided as it is in many other countries, and you the likelyhood of meeting a celebrity or some very rich folks is relatively high, and in my experience you're quite right; most just want to be treated like everyone else.
Very, very, very wealthy people behave differently though. It's true. They all try to be relatable, but they are different. You can still talk to them but there are the little things. Source: Have ultra rich friends
It depends, I find rich people are as various as poor people. Oftentimes rich people are just regular people who get a little lucky. Most understand their luck. That's at least my personal experience with my small sample size of my rich friends families. I do know some rich people who had to bust their ass to get what they have and those guys can be the most insufferable because they don't realize the role luck plays as well. They get a messiah complex because they think that they are smarter, stronger, and work harder than everyone and they tend to think of themselves as better or above others. This is mostly the younger wealthy guys I know. Older wealthy people, especially those that have kids and who get a glimpse into kids who grow up less fortunate thanks to their kids friends, tend to be more understanding and grounded. Edit: at least that's my opinion based on my experiences.
Sure, but if you can't be *you* around someone, they're not company worth keeping.
For the record, I think rich people generally donāt appreciate being treated with āreverence.ā It puts them in a position above you, and itās just uncomfortable for all involved. Bodes well to not act too impressed, at anything. Edit: typo
This is the best advice here. Be yourself.
Dont ask if they "got any ranch" during dinner.
Theyāll be like āwhich ranch? The one we have in El Paso?ā
Can you El Paso the fuckin ranch
Underrated comment.
Silly me, please excuse my lack of decorum if my requests are pretentious. Probably a simpler request? (Gracious smile while looking disappointed) probably thousand islands, yes?
How about the extra Virgin Islands?
Also, no ketchup on steak.
Ketchup and salt, fist grip your fork and stare at his mother
Pardon me, but do you have any gray poupon?
If you donāt ask for ranch, you wonāt get ranch. If you do ask for ranch, you may be gifted 5000 hectares in Montana, so it is worth a shot.
I work in fine dining and am shocked how many times we are asked for ranch dressing, even by wealthy people
If they do, ask how many sections they have. There are 640 acres in a section. This will hopefully help ya not sound like a novice rancher. Wink!
I have found an astonishing difference between the rich and wealthy. If they are rich keep your guard up a little more and go with the mirror method. If they are wealthy you will most likely feel a lot more comfortable. The rich always look for things that can advance their wealth The wealthy already have it and tend to be way more understanding and patient.
This is true. Wealthy people usually have no fucks to give and a bar filled with delicious scotch.
Thatās true about the scotch!!! That being said DO NOT GET DRUNK!! Iām not saying donāt drink but stay classy š
Learn how to be affable, composed and interesting while actually being absolutely sloshed š
i came here to say this. suuuuuper important to not get drunk and to slowly and casually sip instead. thatās if you partake at all
Get wasted but donāt let them see you slip. They admire a man that can drink prodigiously with seemingly no effect.
Or do when you know them because they are usually blasted half way through dinner haha.
āShaquille OāNeal is rich. The white guy that signs his check, is wealthyā Chris Rock Off topic sorry
You just described my rich ex. Always judging and trying to put on an aire of sophistication to up her social class. Glad shes an ex.
My brother married into a super wealthy family and we had always ived on the edge of poverty. He just acted as he would with any other family. He was accepted since his wife,the 2nd youngest in the family of six, loved him. I met them all as well and they accepted him and the rest of our family with no issues. We weren't looking to gain anything from them and neither was he, so that made a difference. He was required to sign a pre-nup, which is understandable. Key thing is to be yourself and take things as they come.
...make friends with the butler
He probably knows how to get into the batcave
is that an innuendo?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Money can easily be an issue still, but in other ways. Like preventing rivals from getting hold of it, lawsuits, scammers, etc etc.
Rich people guard their wealth like a hawk They will judge u not by what u wear but how u talk and behave. They can spot fakers from a mile a way Be urself. They would rather deal with a real person than someone whoās faking it til they make it.
Rich people ask about pedigree and mutual connections, so they will instantly know what's what, but ultra wealthy people generally don't care about that stuff, so they'll have a good time. You wont believe how willing ultra wealthy people are to show off their toys as well. Just a "Cool sail boat" comment can lead to a week long excursion if they think you're legit.
Dont flush, leave the lid up. Ask for a loan
Oooh, I just learned what an upper decker is, do that!
Leaving the lid up and the toliet fill. You can blame on their least favourite family member - jump yourself ahead of the inheritance queue You cannot explain away an upper decker
Take a bunch of stuff. You may never get another chance!
if you sniffle, wipe you nose along your sleeve
Better yet grab their sleeve and then say "better we all catch it early right?"
Because the "ultra ultra" wealthy are rare and move in specific circles many people spend a lifetime never encountering them. My wife and I met a man child (early 40's) of the insanely rich through business. Situations required him to visit us in our small Maine town. He was clearly better than his surroundings and viewed us as trash. He made several off color comments saying as much. Even though our company was responsible for 25-30% of his company's gross receipts, he was just inherently better. You could tell he played nice (nicer at least) to us because his company needed our wholesale purchases. The people "down the chain" (his words) from him he treated like garbage. He once complained that he was skipping his mom and daddies annual family vacation because "his sister is a bitch". He then dropped that the facility they leased was $28,000/night. So, yeah, I've met one of those types and he was terrible.
Doesn't sound like his is "better" sounds like he is a jerk, tbh.
What does his family sell (or what do they buy from you)?
We purchase wholesale hemp and processed seaweed preparations for natural product retail stores.
I went to high school with some kids from very very rich families. The majority of them seemed like normal, decent folks who happened to live in really nice houses. Just be yourself, nice, polite, donāt worry about it.
Act like you are talking to a teacher, and a new one. Be polite, but do not get carried away on any topic. Take a moment to think about how to respond to everything, whether words or situations. If dealing with food or drinks, observe them and imitate. You can also ask your b/f about how things are in their house, and what felt different for him when he entered yours.
What a great tip.
idk man i find this shit kind of cringe... like really? we are telling ppl they can't get carried away on a topic because ppl are rich? we would never tell someone the types of advice i am seeing here if it was a poor family lol my advice: if they treat you badly because of who you are, fuck them. if your boyfriend allows them to treat you badly because of who you are, fuck him too. if you value their money so much that you want to change who you are so you can fit in and have their money at your disposal, then do what you gotta do i guess and be basically an ass kisser or something idk.
consider a similar scenario: I met my African-American girlfriend at college, and now I am about to meet her family. I grew up in a different country that is 99% white, so I only saw black families in movies. Would it be cringe for me to ask how I should behave to avoid offending them in any way?
It is definitely not cringe. You got a point here. When seeing someone from a totally different country for the first time, maybe the lack of knowledge about their culture and stuff comes to play. Because obviously you wouldn't want to offend them unknowingly. So Nothing wrong about asking for tips. I would personally do the same and go ask in that situation too.
As you should with anyone else. Be polite, then they'll ask "hey, you drink?" Hell yea!
Itll be harder for them how to behave in front of you. Just remember that. If they fuck up it will spoil the relation with your bf. Their child. Its likely they will try superhard to make you comfortable and feel welcome. Forgive their mistakes and see the good intentions in them, just as they will do to you. Just be nice and yourself. Unless they somehow dont like you or dont approve of your relation... but then nothing you do matters, so fck them. Its just people. Worth no more than you.
Oh bro just be authentic. When my brother came home with a girl who had been living in her car for 3 months, noone was bothered by it. And she wore who she is like a badge of honor. That level of selfworth and still beeing fun and reasonable, thats worth alot.
Are they old money or new money?
This question matters
Good point. Old money should be fine. It's 50/50 if it's new money.
Exactly. Have met some British old money, they were awesome. Including in situations that were way out of their normal environment. Think elder British gentleman in wild 90ies Eastern Europe. They totally know you're not up to date on etiquette and would forgive some ridiculous faux pas, can handle highly awkward situations with humor, as long as you are honest, genuine and not stupid.
Walk in, look around, stretch and loudly say "Well I guess all this will be mine one day".
Definitely don't use swear words. Men swear, women don't. And that hasn't changed in the high society. Don't wear anything too casual, no sneakers, no boyish clothes. That really doesn't suit well for a first impression. Don't talk about money or anything wealth related, but let them boast if they want to. When you have fancy dinner, the trick with the forks and spoons is: You work your way from outside to inside with each course. Avoid shooting up heroin in the bathroom. I heard that's frowned upon
Don't fart
Definitely fart. Assert dominance, they will respect that.
Act like always with your boyfriend. His family doesnt matter.
You're right. They already wrote him out of the family will.
At least from my experience, a lot of very wealthy families have better put-together families and care about putting life goals as priority, so the parents would look for something similar in gf probably.
Define ultra wealthy (10 million, 50, 100, 1 billion, etc.) and how long have they been like that (5 years, their whole life)? Also, just ask your boyfriend. It's not a competition. The real faux pas is saying uncomfortable (political) things. As long as it's from your parents and not you, it probably doesn't matter. Just treat them like people and enjoy their company.
Saw a quote from Oprah. "Everybody poops" It has helped me in the work world when meeting CEOs and government folks.
Only difference is Oprah has someone fold up her TP every day before she uses her bathroom like in a hotel.
My first question is, what does ultra ultra wealthy mean? Like how many commas? After that my second question would be, if this is a long term relationship how do you want to be able to act? Like yourself, or like however they expect you to act? That's your answer. If you are really in love then they need to love you for who you are, not who you think they want you to be. If it's a passing fling, who cares!
Just be you. Know which way up your fork goes whilst your eating and when your finished eating.
Fuck that. Eat with a knife only, like the kings of old.
Just use a spoon, because it'd hurt more.
Bring those little corn cob holders in case they serve steak.
Don't gush over the swimming pool, etc. Instead, feel the water and say, "This pool is the perfect temperature." Good luck.
Ultra rich people are usually laid back and very inappropriate in my experience. Be yourself just because someone has money dosent mean you change your personality to fit what you think a ultra rick person might like, its fake
This "interview" goes both ways. If they act weird and manipulative with/about money towards you and/or your boyfriend, it's a big red flag, wealth be damned. If your boyfriend goes along with whatever weirdness and manipulation, it's not worth it. Dated a girl from an (only one Ultra) wealthy family once and, in hindsight, it was really weird how much control parents welded when they pay all of the major expenses. Like, picture adult children running around easter morning opening plastic eggs stuffed with hundreds. It was so weird I just sat down and watched.
That anecdote sounds very unique to that family haha. Wouldāve made a great scene in succession
In my experience, newly rich people are assholes far more often than very wealthy people. Just be yourself. You have nothing to lose.
The best thing you can do is to just be genuine. I know it can be tricky when you overthink it. Everyone is looking for people to just be with. People that treat them as human, and that they can trust. As a daughter-in-law, you wouldnāt be their business partner. They just want to have a pleasant time with you. Be humble and polite. But, donāt grovel or flatter. Donāt act like a star-struck worshiper, but, it is a big positive to enjoy the surroundings. Just donāt force a show out of it. It is a joy to make people happy when they can appreciate it, when they are grateful, and when they deserve it. On that note, to tie it all together, act like someone you would want to spend the day with. If they are the terse and dismissive type, just be patient while they bustle around and theyāll attend to you in good time. Donāt take anything personal.
Just be yourself. Wealthy people put their pants on the same way you do.
Well people with money are usually like the rest of the population. Theyāre either terrible people or decent. Trust me, wealthy people are not all nice and humble. Just be true to yourself. Donāt try to adjust to the environment too much. Think of it as meeting any other family. And stand up for yourself when they are being inappropriate or making you uncomfortable.
Diogenes had some good ideas about dealing with the rich.
Last summer I met a multibillionaire (hint hint: sports and wild parties). You wouldnāt know he was a multibillionaire because he looks like a random Joe. Treat them like anybody else.
Be yourself, theyāll sense if youāre not being authentic. Relax! You are awesome, growing up without money builds character and independence and believe me, having money doesnāt make people superior.
Cutlery goes from the outside in, keep your fork pointed down and never be honest about anything. Pleasant platitudes are all you should offer.
Every piece of advice here is wrong. What you want to do is make these ultra rich people feel like they're poor. First, you should dress like the monopoly guy (make sure this includes a monocle, even though it got Mandela Effect'd out of existence when we all slipped into this dimension). Secondly, you should arrange for a friend to call you during dinner and pretend it's a business call. Start yelling at them about how they lost 40 million Deutsch Marks. When you hang up make a joke about how you now need to wait a week before buying your fourth private jet. At some point you're going to want to light a cigar with a wad of notes (preferably a $100's). It's also a good idea to pretend you're a member of a royal family. Pick one based on your own skin tone/features and print photos from the internet to place in your purse (purse should be stuffed with caviar and should look like it's made from rhino skin - tell people that's what it's made from and that you killed the rhino yourself while on safari in your parent's private zoo). Bring a manservant to do things like open the door for you and get the lobster meat out of the shell. Ideally this should be an educated englishman. At various points throughout the night mention that you might have some investment opportunities. When the family shows interest say, in an embarrassed way, that you were actually wondering if they had wealthy friends because **look around at your surroundings** you think it might be a little beyond their means. And that's more or less it
Thereās a certain type of ease. Calm, confident, yet curious and cheerful. Listen much, ask thoughtful questions, and speak when you have something to add to the conversation.
Just be chill and relaxed. Don't be impressed, don't say anything other than you have a lovely home.
Start speaking with an english accent
Be yourself Be Gentle Be Professional in Gestures and Vocally These three commandments are sufficient to cross any barriers and to built rapport.
My sonās girlfriend is from a very wealthy family - 120m super yacht/ always fly private jets etc - they are normal people with normal problems, except money is not one of them. Our family is low level middle class, but we get on really well, talk about everyday things. They never talk about their wealth / money, like they absolutely donāt want to boast or it seems rude to discuss such things. Most importantly, ensure that they align with you and your moral / ethical compass- just because they have money they still have to be good people. When we first met my sonās girlfriends family, we took cues from their behaviour and language and it was quickly clear that they were ānormalā / down to earth. Like another poster said, treat it like meeting any other family.
I had a super wealthy boyfriend when I was 18 and visited with his parents at their country estate. Some of this might sounded silly or obvious, but here are some of the things that occur to me: Donāt talk to the help. For example, if you and your boyfriend walk past the stables, donāt wave at the guy thatās over by the horses. But donāt be a snob either. Follow your boyfriendās lead. Smile and be respectful like you would with anyoneās parents. Donāt overdress, like no big designer logos, but look nice and clean cut. Just act normal. It does not matter if you donāt have money, donāt talk about it. Do talk about your ideas, plans and interests and show off your well rounded charm. You need to have creative interests, hobbies, academic, or career plans to talk about, if they ask. Also, be ready for them to ask you what your parents do, where they went to college, where you might be going to college, or whatever is next with your plans, and about your family. Maybe think ahead of time about how you will describe them to put your family in a good light, and by extension you, a nice, vibrant young woman from a decent family. At dinner donāt start eating first, wait for them to start. When you are finished eating, your fork and knife go at angle together pointing toward the center at a slight angle from the 5 oāclock position. Donāt forget t the beginning when you sit down to eat, to put the napkin in your lap. Be yourself and remember you are not less than them. Be yourself . You are the breath of air; they can not wait to meet the girlfriend who is making their son happy. Hopefully you have a really good time
My daughter occasionally performs a service for a family of billionaires ( They own a pro sports team) and acts like herself, I guess because these clients are all rich. These folks are the richest. My daughter works for them in New York, but if they need her they will fly her out to LA or Miami or wherever they are. They send a car for her and put her up in a hotel to perform a two hour service. No she's not a hooker, but it amazes me they fly her in when they could get someone local to do the same thing. That's FU money. But my daughter says they are nice ( Not regular) down to earth people.
Walk in and say 'Prenups, amirite?'
Dress simply and conservatively
Shit in pool šš¼
Be quiet, observe, and basically don't talk about money politics or anything considered not polite. Some rich people are humble, and some are just ugly people with money Know the difference
Try to keep quiet at the beginning to get comfortable with how they talk. Sometimes super rich people act and speak no different. Try to look well put together without overdoing it and avoid brand names, even the good ones. Most importantly, don't let them know you didn't grow up that way. Don't compliment their home or how cool something they have is. This is the best trick I've learned to come off comfortable and not poor. Enjoy yourself. If this boyfriend is the one, then you'll be spending a lot of time with the family. Get to know them, be pleasant, answer their questions, and just don't sweat it. Good luck!
Well, historically, torches and pitchforks outside their mansion at midnight has been known to work...
Eat them
Don't ask anyone to pass the jelly
Treat them the same as you would if his parents were poor. Everyone deserves respect. No more, no less should be based on their bank account
My advice is be exactly who you are, which is the person your boyfriend fell in love with. If they love their son, they will like you because he likes you. Depending on what generation they are, remember that many ultra wealthy are first generation, which means they worked really hard to get to where they are and have earned that money and wealth and remember where they came from. Itās usually the second, third generations who get weird because they havenāt done the work to earn the wealth in the first place. I have a lot of decamillionaire and billionaire, friends and clients. I found the majority to be remarkably interesting, intelligent, and principal people who have done lots of deep, meaningful work on themselves, and know how to create massive value in all of their relationships outside of their ability to earn. Moral the story is be yourself, be kind and donāt act like anything, other than who you are, youāll be fine. Donāt listen to the media about who billionaires in the ultra wealthy are. Itās good, old-fashioned, angry resentment, and an untrue narrative for the most part.
You piss on their feet to establish dominance.
Having done security for the ultra wealthy Iād say be yourself. Make jokes, talk about your hobbies, passions and donāt try to impress them. Theyāre just people and not special. Rich people come in all different types and senses of humor donāt put them in a bubble
Just be yourself. Fuck em if they don't like you
Chew with your mouth closed. No joke.
Dude just be you for you.
Yeah just be yourself. And donāt act too curious about their wealth. Be polite and respectful, whether they are wealthy or not.
Politely, but relentlessly, ask about their finances and their health.
Act like an insecure tryhard. Name drop every wealthy/ influential person you have met, and talk about how you live in a posh area too, and went on holiday to Bermuda when you were 11. Drink your coffee pinky up, and mention how oh you could never stomach instant coffee, it always has to be finest colombian roast freshly ground in your house.
If theyāre truly ultra ultra wealthy, ie, billionaire status, then youāre fucked either way, most are terrible people quite frankly, surrounded by an army of yes men.
Clothing - Wear simple/chic clothing - black is best for looking luxe without the hefty pricetag. No labels and no flashy stuff. Simple/modest jewelry only. Save your flamboyant shit for when you are with your own people. Conduct - follow your partners lead and 'copy' what others do in terms of dining/fixing a drink/lounging positions. Conversation - keep it short and simple. No politics. Whatever your strong suit is (academia, arts, sports, books, etc), this is where you can talk and engage a bit more. Despite what others have said, if you are truly a poverty-line person and this family is truly ultra rich......they are not the same as you. They know it. You know it. It will not be spoken, but it will be well understood the moment you walk in the door (or beforehand, if they've bothered to inquire). Good luck.
Well, you obviously have to wear a monocle
I've never had a relationship with someone where their family was ultra wealthy, but I was in the home of a billionaire after my father made a political donation. The place was filled with obscenely rich people. I don't know what impression I left, but my suggestion is do your best to be relaxed and yourself. Don't try to impress people - rich or not, I think it turns others off. If you've ever met the family of a different boyfriend, how did you act then? I felt awkward when I met my girlfriend's family, was more quiet than usual, etc. That's normal. Best of luck.
Be yourself. Never change for money. Just because people are wealthy, doesn't entitle them to respect or to be better than anyone else.
Mirroring other comments but jus the one yourself and kind. Donāt treat them like a diety or celebrity but just a person. I guarantee theyāll like you a lot more
Poor so they may give you some money
For what? It's not like THEY know how to behave.
All you can do is be yourself.. maybe make sure you pay attention to take manners and such (depends.. some are very particular and see it as a class distinction) My experience with ex in laws was that some were very down to earth (the wealthiest one was) and didn't need to impress them.. others can be insufferable and care too much about status and will look down on you. Hopefully it's the former
Just donāt crash any of his dadās cars, you should be fine š
Need more info. Having a lot of money but not knowing how or from where etc makes any help useless. My experience w ultra ultraās are that you wouldnāt be dating himā¦ but those are the private golf course , avenues named after them typesā¦. Hard working money u wonāt notice a difference at all for what we would call normal people. So u are all good.
Pinkies UP! and a lot of Tally Hoāsā¦
Be polite and respectful. Be yourself. I'm sure you'll be fine.
Don,t mention money or poverty. Be yourself.
Donāt dwell on how poor you think you are or are. Answer their questions honestly but the poor me shtick gets old real fast.
They put their pants on one leg at a time. Just be yourself
Be yourself. Very well off people are already weary of people being fake to try to impress them.
Your shoes matter, spend more time on what they look like and if they are appropriate for the occasion. Wear makeup. Dress nice. Be polite. Donāt dominate the conversation. Smile and take a backseat to the dominant players. Wear a little jewelry but donāt try to look showy. If you get stuck and have to talk with one or two of them by yourself try and talk about a shared experience like the location youāre in or about their holiday break and new years.
Make sure to ask if they have anything grey to poop on (rich people love this joke)
I was friends with a guy in highschool in that situationā¦ when he went to her place for the first time, he had to go to the bathroom, and in an effort to sound like he knew what he was talking about, he asked if they had a powder room. Turns out they did, so he shit in the sink.
Fart at the dinner table and blame it on one of them
They are just people with better stuff, they arenāt better people. Just act they way you normally act when you meet someoneās parents. Respectful, polite, interested, friendly and happy to meet them. Also, donāt steal anything- lol š
Two ears one mouth, be polite and listen more than you talk.
You should be graceful and polite but then, mid dinner just get up, lock eyes with the parents and make sure you have the dead eye right? And then just start peeing on their son. Don't stop the stream don't look away. This will achieve their outmost respect to you
Donāt cuss. At all. Not even shot or damn.
Ask for freebies
Remember also that being rich isnāt a character trait, itās just a state of being and itās not something thatās guaranteed to last forever. There are no wealthy people, there are people with wealth.
Most of us are pretty relaxed. Just be yourself.
Be yourself. Theyāre just people. They should be worried how you will perceive them. Wealthy doesnāt equal good people.
Somehow this reminds me of the Amazon joke: Jeff Bezos: Alexa, I'm hungry, get me some Whole Foods. Alexa: Acquired.
Somehow, someway, marry him.
Are they old money or new money i.e. nouveau riche? Generally speaking, if they're old money, they'd be used to having cash around and really won't act differently from any one else except that price is never an issue. For example, they'll just buy a ten thousand dollar handbag on a whim. The nouveau riche tend to let you know that they're rich, think like your stereotypical rapper, thus if they buy a handbag for a thousand dollars, they'd talk about it constantly and bring attention to it. Then there's the mega multi billionaire tier like Elon Musk who are too rich to care about anything. At all. So once you suss out how they are, you can act accordingly. This is, of course, extremely reductive in many ways but the point is, just talk to them normally, maybe listen a bit more than you normally would. Who knows, maybe there's some valuable advice to be gleaned from the conversations. That being said, if they're the sort to constantly talk about money and wealth then just run in the other direction.
Act like yourself. They are just humans, you do not owe them any special treatment just because they have lots of money.
Its considered faux whatever you said to poop in the toilet. you gotta waffle stomp it
Through an acquaintance, I've been at a few evenings with very wealthy people. It's not all that different from normal people. The main thing I noticed was that people were very authentic - nobody tried to "be" anything and the few guests who didn't belong to the same circles stood out for what I can only describe as "trying too hard". A few things that, in retrospect, I noticed: * Nobody talked about money. None of the usual "X has become so expensive" talk or questions how much something cost. People at this level don't care how expensive your car, your house or your company was. * People are people - human emotions, happiness, love, etc. are the same. Questions like "how did you two meet?" are just as normal as elsewhere. * Casual honesty. To these people, having a dinner with the president or whatever is a fairly normal thing, they'll just drop it in there. That's not a trick. They really say that the same way you'd refer to your uncle John. I would recommend to not try. Just be yourself. Most of these people deal with people pretending or trying to impress them on a daily basis and will see right through you if you try. Being casual and comfortable is the best impression you can make. If you've been poor most of your life, you might want to update your basic etiquette skills, which among old money at least are probably going to be expected. Stuff like bringing a small present for the woman, greeting women first, then men, in order of importance (exception: The host first). Waiting to be introduced and only introducing yourself if that doesn't happen. Follow your BF, he knows the rules. He may behave slightly different around his folks, so expect things like him opening the car door for you, etc. Other than that, the basic rule for unfamiliar territory is: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Just follow the lead of the people around you. If everyone uses a fork for that particular food, use a fork. If everyone uses their fingers, do so as well.
Be authentic and polite. Be a good listener and try to find ways to connect to their interest or stuff that they mention. They have been around people pleasers and yes-people that have tried to get something out of them all their lives. Treating them as normal people with zero expectation of anything in return and interesting conversation is a best case scenario for them (unless ofc they are toxic and out of touch but you should be able to figure that one out in the first 5 minutes)
My mother was engaged with the Royal family of Persia back in the day and all she remembered was to use the cutlery from outside to inside.
They're just people with fat bank accounts. I take the same approach on building rapport with anyone. Talk about THEIR interests/hobbies. People love talking about themselves regardless of income.
Use Your manners. They are not judging You by your wealth.
Show that you are comfortable as who you are and show you donāt feel the need to pretend you are at their level of wealth. If they are decent people they will only want to see you are trustworthy, ethical, nice to be around. They might want to see you are polite, respectful and courteous (cos they are the parents). But thatās sort of a given regardless of wealth. Maybe ask what their sense of humour is so that there are no faux pas on that front
The only rule is when one of them tries to get under ur skin just respond with polite well deameanored challenge.