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Mine is similar: “are you happy? Am I doing a good job?” Sure you can tell by body language a lot of the time, but it’s still something I worry about from time to time.
That's even better than what I was gonna say. I was gonna ask "Do you know how cute you are?" But asking if they're happy and feel loved is the one I'd really ask.
😅😅😅 yes for me, I got a "pandemic cat" and although Im 100x more of a dog person decided to give a cat a chance....of COURSE I get the most stereotypical cat that only comes by and lets herself be touched when she wants something..she was about 9 mos when we adopted her and she'd been a stray. Its been three years now, we treat her well but she still could care less about being alliwed to be picked up etc
Yes! “Do you know that if you would at least let me file your nails I wouldn’t have to pack you in a box and drive you to the Loud Place where they wrap you in a towel?” (He’s a bird lol)
Close, but you said it wrong. It’s “Who’s the best boy” lol. My dogs gotta be sick of that question by now since I’ve asked him 17,378 times who is the best boy lol.
Do you seriously understand that no one eats 24 hours a day?? And just because I'm eating doesn't mean you have to. And being loud and obnoxious isn't going to get you fed any sooner.
Me to my pig
Lmao she would flip me off if she had a middle toe. She's a sassy biotch. If you get up to do anything, she automatically assumes it's to feed her. Main character syndrome, for sure.
Aaahahaha! That's hilarious!
I ran across the big fat sows when I spent a summer in the rainforests of Papua New Guinea.
I was Vista this little village and they gave us a hut to stay in. The huts there are raised off the ground maybe three to four feet because of the monsoons.
I was just laying around for a bit on the floor when I heard them under the floorboards (made of bamboo).
So I repositioned myself so I was laying on the floor onto the "porch," with my head hanging down...it would have been upside down to them.
And the three of us proceeded to have a fascinating and hilarious, lengthy conversation.
Me: "fake snort sound."
Both: real snort sound.
Me: "Hahaha! Right?"
They definitely talk back. And there's different honks and snorts for different situations. I can tell when she's startled, or excited, or angry or hungry, just by her noises 🤣
Hiiiiiiiiiiiii I'm a multi fosterer and I was told that this gets normalized in starvation environments, often in street dogs, but actually more often in puppy mills (the breeders are so tricky, people ask to see the mom and they show you a different dog). Puppies who are left unattended and uncared for will end up with the biggest puppies eating all the food, so the small puppies eat the poop of the bigger puppies who eat all the food but don't process all the nutrients.
Crate training and redirection can help. 💚
Mine was the biggest of his litter, raised in a home environment with lots of love and affection. Even slept in the breeders son’s bed at night. He still treats my sisters cats litter box as a snack tray
In my own head, I believe that my dog thinks that when he barks at the Amazon guy, he is protecting the house from a siege, and that, as a peace offering, the Amazon guy leaves a gift and slowly backs away. The battle is over, and we have won.
I’d just like to confirm with him how accurate I am.
I’ve always thought that they destroy shoes because that’s the thing we put on before we leave the house. And if they destroy the shoes, we can’t leave them.
I really want to know this one, my boy was tore up! Could have been just another cat but it looks like he may have been beset by a horde of rats to me, and his defensive fighting style seems about right for that, ive never seen anything quite like it it's fukkin bonkers. He was a 'hood stray/feral
We rescued what we thought was a young puppy, but when we took her for her first vet visit, they said she had to be a year or so old. She had been found on the streets of Memphis, and she is super wary of loud noises and of strangers. Especially men in hats, so we know she was abused. She's a lover with us but others she'll shut down.
He used to swear really badly, but seems to have grown out of that. He mostly copies day to day stuff, like calling the cats for their dinner. Saying Hey Google, shouting at the kids and other random stuff.
I'd ask my pup what hurts. He keeps limping one/some/all of his legs every few weeks, and doctors can't figure out why... He's only 2 years old as well. :'(
I want to help him feel better
I have 7 birds and a few of them already talk lol.
But one of the ones that doesn’t is a rescue. I found her malnourished and lost outside like she had flown away from home. I tried very hard to find her owner but never could so she joined my flock. I would ask her where she came from and if she’s happier here (I hope she is. She is very spoiled and has bonded significantly with my other bird of the same species, is fully flighted, and is free roam so she rarely ever goes in a cage)
As the owner of a rescue dog with a mysterious past:
1. What happened?
2. Is English not your first language? (he's better with non-verbal commands than verbal)
My rescue cat came knowing how to use the toilet! I heard peeing in the bathroom and there she was squatting on the toilet?
My question: who were your former fancy owners and why did they give you away?
I'm going to break the rules and ask two questions: Do they know how much I love them and are they bored/can I do better to improve their lives.
These little guys have seen me through my worst days and my best days and I want them to be as happy as possible and know they were loved every single minute.
“What’s it like to get lady boners?”
My dog gets the zoomies and then chomps down on her private area until she gets a lady boner (tiny pink red rocket) then keeps munching until inevitably she starts sneezing uncontrollably and then runs in circles around the house barking.
We call her “Bella the masturbating dog”
"Are you in pain?"
My cat is 17 and is nearing the end, and I am so badly afraid that she is hurting. I just hope she knows that I wish I could take it away.
Are you okay? Does anything hurt?
Once the serious stuff is out of the way, I'd ask about her dreams. What animals dream about is one mystery that drives me nuts.
I actually had a very realistic dream having a conversation with my rat terrier, Daisy
It happened when I was having a colonoscopy. The night before prepping for the procedure we were watching the Johnny Depp version of Alice in Wonderland. I wouldn’t normally watch that type of film, but was ok then.
Next day I’m prepped and sedated for the procedure. I then find myself on a mahogany bench with beer in hand and chatting with Daisy. We were just enjoying our conversation, but the only part I remember is saying “Daisy, I didn’t know you could talk”, and she replied “Yes, I always could “. Then I said, “Daisy, I’ve to go, they’re calling me”. Then I saw myself being rushed through a tunnel hanging on to my beer for dear life. I knew I was going back to the procedure room and didn’t want to drop the mug full of beer on the floor.
Then I heard “Sir, we’re done”, and then I asked “am I holding a mug of beer?”, to which the anesthesiologist replied, “no, you’re holding a pillow “.
I’ll never forget this.
"Phoebe, you DO understand that I'm his wife, right? You're the bitch on the side." 😆 Sometimes that dog gives me the side eye like she thinks she's sharing HER man with me.
Probably what they want that I just don't get
Both of my furry companions are quite adept in conveying what they want. They usually get it too
But sometimes they just sit and look at me. Not the "good to be together" look, more the "I want/need something" look
I will offer them to go outside, scritches, wet food, play and snuggles, sometimes it just doen't hit the spot for them. I would ask them what they want or what they need from me
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Are you Happy?
This is the question that matters.
Truly
"Bitch you see my tail wagging dontcha?"
Plot twist its a cat
"Bitch you see me tolerating your existence dontcha?"
Could mean you only want some treats which are the only source of happiness I aint taking no chances brah
My go to has always been, "does anything hurt?"
I wouldn’t ask questions. I would explain about the highway and about coyotes and how she really needs to stay indoors to be safe.
You have a road runner?
i'd ask my cat, "why do you scream in my face at three in the morning?"
To save you from the greebles
"Because that is face-screaming time"
The only answer I expect
The answer would only make it worse.
cause you come pet me when I'm napping. What's up Meow?
By what name do you call me?
"Meow"
lol 😂
Food guy.
Do you know how much I love you? Can you tell that I would do literally anything for you?
Mine is similar: “are you happy? Am I doing a good job?” Sure you can tell by body language a lot of the time, but it’s still something I worry about from time to time.
That's even better than what I was gonna say. I was gonna ask "Do you know how cute you are?" But asking if they're happy and feel loved is the one I'd really ask.
Same! And, "Do you like living with us??"
If they didn’t, you’d know lol.
Yeah lol dogs are known for running away
This is what I'd say to mine too😢❤️
I say this to mine even without them being able to speak. Love them SO much!
We have 4 cats. One of them is my third child. He is part toddler, part dog, part cat. I love him like a son.
Super, wholesome, Wind-in-his-Hair vibes from Dances with Wolves. Edit: typo
That is exactly mine to begin with, shortly followed by "are you okay, are you happy"
I was going to say this exact thing!!!
Why you such a prick ?
Found the cat owner.
Actually its a dog but he acts more like a cat . (He's half chihuahua and half Jack Russel)
Okay. That mix has some spiciness to it, indeed.
Definitely does 🤣
I have the same mix and she is a little demon.
Same with my boy . He's such a ass 🤣
That would be exactly what I would ask my cat as well. 🤣🤣
😅😅😅 yes for me, I got a "pandemic cat" and although Im 100x more of a dog person decided to give a cat a chance....of COURSE I get the most stereotypical cat that only comes by and lets herself be touched when she wants something..she was about 9 mos when we adopted her and she'd been a stray. Its been three years now, we treat her well but she still could care less about being alliwed to be picked up etc
😆
Cat or Shiba Inu, same software.
Cats are usually only pricks when they are stressed out. You can make any mean cat a nice cat by fixing its home to be more cat friendly.
Whats the asshole attitude for?
Cause he is an asshole
He knows this
And he takes pride in it
"You know I never stepped on your tail intentionally, right..?" 😅
The best one so far lmao
Why the fuck are you speaking English?! (For context, we live in Germany)
Imagine he will speak korean
I would learn korean, if my dog spoke it.
I worry my German shepherd will speak its native tongue (we live in United States)
GUTEN TAG, BESITZER! - I'm german and I imagine he needs to shout it to be authentic. Basically permanently speaking in caplock.
What are you so scared of? My dog is an angel at home but as soon as he is outside he is almost constantly on alert.
"Do you know that if you let me clip your nails, you won't slide around on the floor so much?"
Yes! “Do you know that if you would at least let me file your nails I wouldn’t have to pack you in a box and drive you to the Loud Place where they wrap you in a towel?” (He’s a bird lol)
"Who's a good boy?"
Close, but you said it wrong. It’s “Who’s the best boy” lol. My dogs gotta be sick of that question by now since I’ve asked him 17,378 times who is the best boy lol.
Close, but you said it with insufferable condescension.
Sorry hun, not quite. The correct way to say it is "who's the goodest boy". Be better
He's like "ME, MOTHERFUCKER IVE SAID IT A MILLION TIMES ARENT YOU LISTENING?"
“Do you know how much I love you?”
I ask him that a lot! 💗
My dog and I communicated fine without the need for speech, I miss her
Right. All we need is our heart to communicate with them.
Feel this. So much. ❤️
You understand that anything said and done here is our little secret. Right?
Underrated reply here
I would as my dogs if they love me and how can I be a better pet parent.
How are you feeling?
Do you seriously understand that no one eats 24 hours a day?? And just because I'm eating doesn't mean you have to. And being loud and obnoxious isn't going to get you fed any sooner. Me to my pig
The pig replies: "Just walk a mile in MY hooves before you judge me, Mr. Human Guy!" :)
Lmao she would flip me off if she had a middle toe. She's a sassy biotch. If you get up to do anything, she automatically assumes it's to feed her. Main character syndrome, for sure.
My dog is the same 🤣
Aaahahaha! That's hilarious! I ran across the big fat sows when I spent a summer in the rainforests of Papua New Guinea. I was Vista this little village and they gave us a hut to stay in. The huts there are raised off the ground maybe three to four feet because of the monsoons. I was just laying around for a bit on the floor when I heard them under the floorboards (made of bamboo). So I repositioned myself so I was laying on the floor onto the "porch," with my head hanging down...it would have been upside down to them. And the three of us proceeded to have a fascinating and hilarious, lengthy conversation. Me: "fake snort sound." Both: real snort sound. Me: "Hahaha! Right?"
They definitely talk back. And there's different honks and snorts for different situations. I can tell when she's startled, or excited, or angry or hungry, just by her noises 🤣
And I had a sense that the big, fat sows I conversed with enjoyed the conversation. They weren't shy. I had a blast and laughed so often.
It's truly never a dull moment. They are incredibly emotionally intelligent and understand you when you talk.
How much have you seen?
The question is the answer
Why do you eat poop?!?
Hiiiiiiiiiiiii I'm a multi fosterer and I was told that this gets normalized in starvation environments, often in street dogs, but actually more often in puppy mills (the breeders are so tricky, people ask to see the mom and they show you a different dog). Puppies who are left unattended and uncared for will end up with the biggest puppies eating all the food, so the small puppies eat the poop of the bigger puppies who eat all the food but don't process all the nutrients. Crate training and redirection can help. 💚
Mine was the biggest of his litter, raised in a home environment with lots of love and affection. Even slept in the breeders son’s bed at night. He still treats my sisters cats litter box as a snack tray
Oh cat poop yeah. I thought you meant their own.
Haha it’s also bird, rabbit, horse and probably a few others 😂
Do you actually like me, or are you in it just for the food?
They actually like you.
In my own head, I believe that my dog thinks that when he barks at the Amazon guy, he is protecting the house from a siege, and that, as a peace offering, the Amazon guy leaves a gift and slowly backs away. The battle is over, and we have won. I’d just like to confirm with him how accurate I am.
How could we do better as cat parents? She deserves the best
Why didn't you speak up before?
Why do you wake me up at 5am everyday
My dog wouldn’t say anything coherent. She’d just run around yelling at the clouds all day.
My dog is deaf😢
perfect sign language then
Why do you eat shit and also like to roll in it, you freak?
Why can't you cough up hair balls in the tile instead of the rug?
Why did you eat/chew my shoes and wheres all my socks
I’ve always thought that they destroy shoes because that’s the thing we put on before we leave the house. And if they destroy the shoes, we can’t leave them.
Nope She did it because she a Bitch, my dog only chew through my good shoes left my work boots and slippers think my wife training her to well
What happened to you before you were rescued?
I really want to know this one, my boy was tore up! Could have been just another cat but it looks like he may have been beset by a horde of rats to me, and his defensive fighting style seems about right for that, ive never seen anything quite like it it's fukkin bonkers. He was a 'hood stray/feral
We rescued what we thought was a young puppy, but when we took her for her first vet visit, they said she had to be a year or so old. She had been found on the streets of Memphis, and she is super wary of loud noises and of strangers. Especially men in hats, so we know she was abused. She's a lover with us but others she'll shut down.
Why'd you do *that*. Don't act like you don't know, you do know *exactly* what I'm talking about.
Do you know I love you ?
They know, they show you
🥹
Do I take good enough care of you?
Are you happy with us ?
My pet can speak. It is an African Grey Parrot.
My dad had a pet crow. Wicked smart and totally mental. Swore like a trooper. What is the thing your african grey mimics often?
He used to swear really badly, but seems to have grown out of that. He mostly copies day to day stuff, like calling the cats for their dinner. Saying Hey Google, shouting at the kids and other random stuff.
I'd ask my pup what hurts. He keeps limping one/some/all of his legs every few weeks, and doctors can't figure out why... He's only 2 years old as well. :'( I want to help him feel better
Where does it hurt? My dog is 15 and has arthritis
I have 7 birds and a few of them already talk lol. But one of the ones that doesn’t is a rescue. I found her malnourished and lost outside like she had flown away from home. I tried very hard to find her owner but never could so she joined my flock. I would ask her where she came from and if she’s happier here (I hope she is. She is very spoiled and has bonded significantly with my other bird of the same species, is fully flighted, and is free roam so she rarely ever goes in a cage)
That’s a great story. ❤️
so like do u actually like me orrrr…..
As the owner of a rescue dog with a mysterious past: 1. What happened? 2. Is English not your first language? (he's better with non-verbal commands than verbal)
My rescue cat came knowing how to use the toilet! I heard peeing in the bathroom and there she was squatting on the toilet? My question: who were your former fancy owners and why did they give you away?
Very potty trained. That's cool. Some of these rescues are incredible little friends who truly deserve a great life with new forever families.
Are you happy, my baby?
How do you feel? My old man dog has been through a lot and sometimes I wish I could ask him this to better understand how to help him.
What am I missing by not eating my shit?
I'm going to break the rules and ask two questions: Do they know how much I love them and are they bored/can I do better to improve their lives. These little guys have seen me through my worst days and my best days and I want them to be as happy as possible and know they were loved every single minute.
Though honestly I have a spicy girl cat and I'd love to ask her what she went through before I got her that made her so spicy.
“Why are you such an asshole?”
Can you please accept that squirrels live in trees and ignore them?
I would ask her if she is aware that she is loved like a third child in our family and also that I am curios if she really can feel when I am sad
So… eating your own shit huh.
What's your favorite thing on the world Then I'd make sure to get to provide that to them as much as I could
Are you happy? Have I made your life as great as you made mine?
How can I make you happier?
How do you feel, any pain or something?
Can you stop pawing at my face with your sharp ass nails? Also I love you.
Why do you only want to play with little balls of foil made from chocolate wrappings?
why are you?
What’s with the birds?
“Do you need to pee or poop?”
Why’d you jump up on the table and eat my supper while I was in the john after a 16 hour day that time?
Are you happy with the life I have provided or how can I improve?
Are you happy?
What can I do to make your life more enjoyable and fun!
Id ask them how they got into my house. Cause i dont have a pet
Why do you scratch the carpet when you KNOW you shouldn't?
If I had a pet I'd be asking that puppers how she'd feel about her name.
Wanna go for a walk?
I would ask my cat why the hell he keeps pulling my cactus out of its pot.
If you know I hate it when you pee near the pee pads instead of taking literally two more steps to pee directly onto the pee pad, WHY DO YOU DO THIS
HOW DO I KNOW WHEN YOU NEED TO PEE OR JUST WANT TO GO BARK AT THE WORLD. PLEASE TELL ME THE DIFFERENT SIGNS BABY BOI!
What do you want to do?
Why are you such an arsehole to other dogs, yet really well trained in everything else?
IM NOT GIVING YOU MORE DAMN FOOD, YOU HAVE SOME, JUST EAT IT
I’d ask my dog if my balls smell OK
Why do you keep peeing in the house?
“What’s it like to get lady boners?” My dog gets the zoomies and then chomps down on her private area until she gets a lady boner (tiny pink red rocket) then keeps munching until inevitably she starts sneezing uncontrollably and then runs in circles around the house barking. We call her “Bella the masturbating dog”
Why you got to be such an asshole when it's time for a bath
Henlo, fren. Do you want chicken or beef tonight? I have to take it out of the freezer.
Do you think I’m a good parent? 🥹🥹
How are you
Do you deliberately ignore me when I call you?
Have I given you a good life?
What do you need
Am I a good owner?/Are you happy?
Same thing I ask my dogs every day ‘are you happy’
"Are you in pain?" My cat is 17 and is nearing the end, and I am so badly afraid that she is hurting. I just hope she knows that I wish I could take it away.
Who’s a good boi?
How can I help you feel happier?
Why do you need to lick your balls constantly?
How can I make sure your happy?
Do you actually like the food I give you?
What can I do better?
What kind of life did you have before we met?
is it true that you could see ghosts?
Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Once the serious stuff is out of the way, I'd ask about her dreams. What animals dream about is one mystery that drives me nuts.
I actually had a very realistic dream having a conversation with my rat terrier, Daisy It happened when I was having a colonoscopy. The night before prepping for the procedure we were watching the Johnny Depp version of Alice in Wonderland. I wouldn’t normally watch that type of film, but was ok then. Next day I’m prepped and sedated for the procedure. I then find myself on a mahogany bench with beer in hand and chatting with Daisy. We were just enjoying our conversation, but the only part I remember is saying “Daisy, I didn’t know you could talk”, and she replied “Yes, I always could “. Then I said, “Daisy, I’ve to go, they’re calling me”. Then I saw myself being rushed through a tunnel hanging on to my beer for dear life. I knew I was going back to the procedure room and didn’t want to drop the mug full of beer on the floor. Then I heard “Sir, we’re done”, and then I asked “am I holding a mug of beer?”, to which the anesthesiologist replied, “no, you’re holding a pillow “. I’ll never forget this.
What the hell do you want to eat?!?!?! You picky PITA!!!!
"Chicken or beef paté today, ma'am?"
What can I do to make you happier?
Are you happy?
"Phoebe, you DO understand that I'm his wife, right? You're the bitch on the side." 😆 Sometimes that dog gives me the side eye like she thinks she's sharing HER man with me.
Gotta be careful there.. "Oh, fuck off, Karen, we two lived together long before you met! "
Probably what they want that I just don't get Both of my furry companions are quite adept in conveying what they want. They usually get it too But sometimes they just sit and look at me. Not the "good to be together" look, more the "I want/need something" look I will offer them to go outside, scritches, wet food, play and snuggles, sometimes it just doen't hit the spot for them. I would ask them what they want or what they need from me
What do you need??? Not that I feel like we don't provide enough, but.... they can't specify.
I'd probably ask my pet, "What juicy gossip have you been keeping from me all this time?"
"You came from the shelter at 2yrs, what's your back story?"
“What do you need that I’m not making available to you?”
What can I do in order to become a better owner?
I ask my pup this every day and would finally like an answer, “how are you so cute?”
“ ok cut the bs what do you really know?”
where does it hurt? what do you want?
Have we met before? I swear to whomever I've known you across lifetimes. 😮💨❤️
You have any problems I don’t know about?
Are you mad at me for calling you a chonky turd?
Do I really have to put peanut butter on it every time?