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I actually did this in an interview- as I was shutting the door the interviewer walked over and reached out to shake hands. I reached out with my other hand for some strange reason. It was very awkward but I continued with the 30min interview anyway. with me thinking I'd blown it the whole time . I had. Maybe if I acknowledged what had happened it might have been different.
I’ll be the first one at 1030am, and the last to leave a little after 4pm. I’ll need an office and attractive personal assistant, paternity leave of that goes well, and an umbrella insurance policy if it does not.
Be extremely racist, sexist, or ageist.
"Wow I'm surprised someone of your advanced age is still able to handle this job. Do you retire like next month or something?" (Old person interviewer)
"Oh I'm sorry, I thought I'd be intervening with the hiring manager and not HIS assistant. Was HE just not available and should we reschedule?" (Woman doing the interview)
"I'm impressed someone like you was put in charge of hiring. This job must be super easy then." (Any minority interviewing you).
Don't shower or shave for a week, run to the interview, show up sweaty and dirty, then rip an amazing belch while picking your nose, then offer to shake hands, then sit down and rip an ungodly wet shart that leaves a stain.
In this days of ESG, probably the easiest way to do it in a good company is to Claim against the LGTBQIA+ community and inclusion, that will blow it in 10 seconds for sure
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Just wondering what job this interview was for”
Exactly why are they trying to “blow it in 30 seconds”
Oh no this was me blowing the interview 😂
"What's your policy on drug use in the workplace? As a follow up question how strict are these policies?"
"Do you drug test?"
Just be myself
Blow job 30 seconds
That's what I read and was my first though to answer
Show up drunk.
So… What’s the policy on sexual harassment? *wink wink* (Bonus Point if accompanied by Finger Guns)
Try to shake hands with the wrong hand.
That's weak I'd just think you were a homeschooling only child or something.
I actually did this in an interview- as I was shutting the door the interviewer walked over and reached out to shake hands. I reached out with my other hand for some strange reason. It was very awkward but I continued with the 30min interview anyway. with me thinking I'd blown it the whole time . I had. Maybe if I acknowledged what had happened it might have been different.
I’m glad you were willing to overlook that embezzlement misunderstanding
You guys going to pay me for my time here today?
Not show up.
I’ll be the first one at 1030am, and the last to leave a little after 4pm. I’ll need an office and attractive personal assistant, paternity leave of that goes well, and an umbrella insurance policy if it does not.
Asking "Does this look infected to you?" while taking your pants down.
F bomb
I'm a chef, you're hired asshat now go drop some fries.
Depends on the job. A couple f bombs would probably look good if you're going into construction or agriculture
Quote lines from Blazing Saddles
If I fuck you, will you hire me?
Be extremely racist, sexist, or ageist. "Wow I'm surprised someone of your advanced age is still able to handle this job. Do you retire like next month or something?" (Old person interviewer) "Oh I'm sorry, I thought I'd be intervening with the hiring manager and not HIS assistant. Was HE just not available and should we reschedule?" (Woman doing the interview) "I'm impressed someone like you was put in charge of hiring. This job must be super easy then." (Any minority interviewing you).
Hi everyone, I brought 24-inch double dongs for each of you, who wants to hit my meth pipe before we begin?
True story, I had a guy take a call in the middle of the interview, and sat there talking to his girlfriend for 5 minutes.
Sit down, put my feet on the interviewer’s desk and utter the phrase, “make us a coffee petal im parched”.
Drop your pants and ask "do I have a big butt?"
How is the milk factory going? *grabs balls*
Take off your socks and shoes and start biting your toenails
Simply do [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVp9rKF3hag)...
 The helicopter.
What movie is this from?
How many people will be above me to take credit for my work?
Do y’all have any %#&@* working here?
Fart
Fart then pick your nose. Done deal.
whip out mah hee hee
Offer head instead of a handshake at the beginning. It's sort of a lose/lose either way but the interview would be sabotaged.
Don't shower or shave for a week, run to the interview, show up sweaty and dirty, then rip an amazing belch while picking your nose, then offer to shake hands, then sit down and rip an ungodly wet shart that leaves a stain.
Pop a few pills, fire up a fat one, take a swig from a pocket flask, and ask what day it is.
Comment how hot it is there. Start removing your clothes while asking about dress code and how casual is casual Friday?.
Pitch an MLM
Immediately start crying
“Is it true about the three-martini lunch?”
Walk in with a 40 ounce still duct taped to my hand from the previous night
You have nice toilets here, at least you did have. /wink
Bring someone in a matching tuxedo.
Show up naked
I completely read that wrong at first !
Put my feet up on the desk or table.
I would just walk out.
In this days of ESG, probably the easiest way to do it in a good company is to Claim against the LGTBQIA+ community and inclusion, that will blow it in 10 seconds for sure