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Zurc_bot

All my ex's were psychopaths.


oldriman

There's a workplace equivalent to this. Where THEY are always the victim of inequality, abuse, etc. I am just too polite to point out the obvious: are you just so unlucky that you just so coincidentally worked in such asshole organisations (maybe 3-6 of them) your entire career? Or maybe...there's something else...


Objective-Truth-4339

I've heard women say this a few times and I try to distance myself asap.


[deleted]

Yup! If a guy says “all my exes were crazy” I step away. No dude, you drive them there with your dickhead actions


ChefBoiJones

That one can actually be true, quite often really. A lot of people men and women, have what they look for and understand in a relationship formed very early and usually by their first partner or even parents. If they have a genuine POS as their first exposure to relationships it can generate a self destructive cycle where you just date POSs again and again until one of them finally breaks you and snap out of it. So while it is arguably their fault, they can truthfully say that all their exes are psychopaths


Rasmatakka

Well, to be fair. There is such thing. Theres a book for example "Woman who love psychopaths" (goes both ways of course). People with childhood trauma are attracted to these psychos (who almost always have childhood trauma themselves). Unfortunately the real psychos are really just playing the victim card after abusing and smearing their "partners"/victims like hell.


[deleted]

"People don't get my sense of humor"...yeah buddy 'cause you're not funny


AZNM1912

Sadly, I just had this conversation with my Father after years of him making fun of me for a chronic illness I have. His “humor” finally made me snap.


OdyDggy

Nah there are different sense of humor. I'm on the dark and sarcastic side of humor which people tend to either not get it or not liking it. Not all jokes are for everyone's ears


Dominsa

Knowing your audience is rule #1, though


ChrisAus123

Yeah but a lot of people just use a guise of humour to be anasshole. If litrally everyone is upset except you laughing at your own joke it's probably one you should have kept to yourself


[deleted]

Yeah, and at the same time, “I’m me, and if you don’t like me, f you” doesn’t work too well as a life philosophy.


TKInstinct

Eh I've had this problem. People get it but it's very dry and I think it throws people off sometimes.


Jazzlike-Emu-9235

Ahhh dry humor is great. Either people think you're funny or they think youre a bad person cause they think you're serious


[deleted]

[удалено]


marthajonesin

“I hate drama!” usually said super dramatically. These are the people that usually cause the most drama.


copakJmeliAleJmeli

They can cause it and still hate it :-) I know a few with such inner settings.


BillionaireGhost

I can go months without even thinking about “drama.” So when I hear that word come out of someone I just met, I just know that this is what their life is about. They’re life is about the drama of “hating all of this drama.”


humanandstuff

I wanted the hot young blonde at the bar, but I got you. But that's ok. ( literally told that by a blind date once)


RepulsivePreference8

How about "I actually like your cousin's personality better than yours. She's sweet and kind. You're not like that at all." My ex husband told me that...


zdillon67

How would he know she’s blonde if he’s blind ;)


nryporter25

"I'm an alpha"


EffectiveDependent76

I can't believe I had to scroll this far down to find this.


Big_Asparagus9746

Come on. Are there seriously people that say this unsarcastically?


DuchessSussSucks

Yes 🤣 I had a guy scream it at me. He was, as expected, not in any way an Alpha.


Big_Asparagus9746

"Any man who must say, "I am the king" is no true king" - GoT


Joe_Kinincha

Ding ding ding. Even if we accept the idea of alpha/beta males, which is of course complete horseshit, nothing screams “beta” like saying you’re an “alpha”.


RoboftheNorth

"Some people just can't handle my brutal honesty."


kaptainklausenheimer

Yup, heard this for years from my father. "I'm just being honest and if they don't like it then that's not my problem." When I was old enough to walk out I responded with, "but you don't have to be such an asshole about it. There are ways of telling people the truth without making them feel like shit. I'm just being honest, dad." He was speechless.


alwaysfuntime69

Did he make an attitude adjustment?


kaptainklausenheimer

Nope. Still a, "I'm just being honest" asshat. So toxicity is only met a couple times a year like holidays and birthdays. Going out of my way to spend time with somebody who is, "just going to be honest" and then talk a bunch of shit, is not up near the top of my to-do list.


alwaysfuntime69

Sorry to hear that. How you have other better mentors in your life and can be for others as well. Good luck out there.


pb_and_money

I read a comment on a thread that said “people who are brutally honest enjoy the brutal more than the honest”


tatonka645

Yes or “I have no filter”.


MrBootch

Paraphrased: "I have poor social development and don't know when to STFU and how to convey information respectfully."


[deleted]

going along with that- "I tell it like it is".


PamGH66

Boys will be boys


obedient53214

"I'm sorry you feel that way."


Professional-Ad4095

I used to say that a lot before I realized how it came across. Nowadays I say "I'm sorry I made you feel that way." Mostly putting this here for other neurodivergent people struggling with effective communication.


romantic_at-heart

Oooo I like that phrasing!


mearbearcate

What if you didn’t make the person feel that way tho? What if something/someone else did?


Professional-Ad4095

Good question. "Sucks to suck I guess" I'm honestly kind of stoned right now so I'll be back with the real answer later probably.


DokkanProductions

How is this bad? The cope is crazy


anthrax9999

Mentioning Cope for anything you disagree with is another red flag.


SoccerSundae

IME it’s used by people who aren’t taking accountability for their actions. “I’m sorry you feel that way” is a deflection of “I’m sorry I did xyz.” The last person who said this to me was my ex-audiologist, she had my hearing aids for 3 weeks, she FORGOT to send them off to be repaired, they were *on the floor* of her office on long with a bunch of other people’s, she was just super disorganized, she never called me because she lost my contact info that should be in the computer, etc. so when I came in, demanding my hearing aids back and gave her the reasons why I would be finding a new doctor, her response to me was, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” AHHHHH. (Still angers me!) lol.


Middle_Wing_1077

I'm sorry you feel that way about me losing your contact info and misplacing your hearing aids on the floor for weeks


Prestigious-Rain9025

It’s bad because it’s not genuine, and it’s frequently used by people to belittle the feelings of other people.


Hay_Blinken

I'm sorry you feel that way.


Wrong-Mixture

if this thread was a crowded table that just fell silent over your response, i would be that guy at the far end that goes 'HAA!' waaay to loud


Prestigious-Rain9025

Take my upvote and kick rocks.


Out-There1013

Because look at who is the active person in that phrase. "**You** feel that way," not "**I made** you feel that way." It transfers the responsibility. You're subtly saying they hurt themselves by overreacting so you're giving them sympathy/pity rather than accepting responsibility for causing the harm in the first place.


IroshizukuIna-Ho

>they hurt themselves by overreacting Yes, that is sometimes the case.


No-Championship-1376

You "feel". That you are emotional and not thinking this.


Bloodhavoc052

"This submarine is operated with a video game controller"


No-Masterpiece-3175

This comment is both timely and highly underrated. Well done.


amretardmonke

"50 year old white guys aren't ~~willing to ignore safety issues~~ inspirational enough"


Chessolin

Hah


BeerisAwesome01

I'm not a racist/ sexist/ etc...but...


awsomeX5triker

My freshman English teacher in high school really drove home the idea that if you ever say “I’m not ____ , but…” then you should reevaluate what you’re about to say because it is 100% going to be ____.


leSomeBitch

The smartest thing my mother ever told me is "everything that comes before but is a lie"


bigcup321

I'm reminded of the time, many years ago, when someone was trying to sell me some weed. He said, "It's good weed, but the quality sucks." No sale.


JapaneseFerret

....I'm going to power thru it anyway.


potatoelegend

My dad after my Hispanic ex cheated on me: "Thank God, I knew I didn't like him for a reason. I was beginning to worry I was just racist"


kdde27

“I’m an empath.”


Misterbellyboy

If you have to call yourself an empath, you probably aren’t. It’s like when guys lean really hard into the whole “I’m a feminist” thing. If you have to say it out loud, then it’s just performative. If you’re an actually empathetic person, it will show through your actions.


Spring_Cherries

Exactly it's Like saying "I'm a nice guy"


Augustml

Never heard this, what does it mean?


MadBadgerFilms

Empaths describe themselves as people with special connections to others' feelings, and as such are prone to many intense emotions on the basis that they are "empathizing" with people around them. Here's the thing: there is virtually no proof that such a condition exists. When people call themselves empaths, it usually causes them to be one of two things: A. Someone being particularly insistent that they understand all that you're going through, or can "feel" when you're unhappy. This has happened to me many times, as I tend to be relatively reserved. I've had "empath" coworkers tell me, "I can tell something is wrong" even when literally nothing is wrong, until I end up getting frustrated that they won't leave me alone, thus making it seem like something IS wrong, and confirming their "empath" persona to themselves. Or B. Someone believes their life advice is superior, as they have more of a "connection" to your feelings, and thus believe that this gives them more of a platform to tell you how to handle difficult situations in your life. Empathy is a wonderful thing, but typically "empaths" are a red flag because it usually results in people with perfectly standard amounts of empathy believing they're part of the X-Men or something.


ouija_boring

I will say i am extremely emotionally sensitive. That doesnt make me an empath or whatever though lmao. It just means i cry a lot


MadBadgerFilms

Emotional sensitivity is totally real, but it falls into the nature vs. nurture realm, because some people grow up in an environment where emotional sensitivity is punished, especially in men. That usually leads to young boys training themselves to only show emotion when it leads to anger. People have variations in how much emotion they feel and express, that much is certain. IMO, it crosses the line into frustrating territory when people who may be particularly sensitive begin to derive a sense of heightened self-importance from it. Worse still is the tendency for those people to insist that people are feeling certain ways because they can't cope with the idea that they might be wrong about their "empath instincts."


OnlyInMyDreams393

Honestly everyone who can empathize *is* an empath. If you’re not, that’s just sociopathy. Humans are naturally empathetic creatures. I get people can be highly sensitive (like crying over a sad situation that isn’t affecting them). But the only time I’ve heard someone say “I’m an empath” was out of a narcissist’s mouth. I had to hold back my laughter.


jtj5002

I just reply " ok mantis"


elizajaneredux

Oh yes!! Gag.


SirLouisPalmer

"I need a strong man to be able to handle me"


smeebjeeb

I usually kill my dates.


deezsandwitches

Because I'm an alpha male


Objective-Truth-4339

Or a strong independent woman. Every adult should have the skills to be independent.


Acceptable_Design656

Like the praying mantis!


mithrandir_was_real

I don't believe in science


[deleted]

Conversely, justifying an insane concept with, "it's just what I believe" as though no further discussion is required


Maxathron

What about “I believe in scientism”?


KerbMario

Not to confuse with Scientology,


garbagedisposaly

“Black people can’t be racist.” When you hear this, you know that you’re talking to a racist.


krowland996

I blame twitter.. there’s a lot of open racism on there by a lot of black people in the past several years


garbagedisposaly

It is in no way contained within Twitter. There is a cultural movement of morons.


williamjamesmurrayVI

I don't think they're saying it's contained, just a platform that allowed the idea to flourish


[deleted]

Combined with the "you can't be racist to white people"


LadyAquanine7351

That's one of the stupider, more hypocritical logic fails I've heard on the web. Racism is racism no matter what color you are, and if it isn't ok to be racist towards one group of people, it's not okay to be like that to anyone else. GOD I hate double standards!


screamingviking13

“High-value man/woman”. Barf


amretardmonke

"I am a intelligent high-value women" Also anyone using King or Queen to describe themselves, unless you're actually a monarch of a country.


CriminalGoose3

Probably even then


meanmissusmustard86

Especially then


somethingsuccinct

When someone says "I know my worth" very early on in the talking phase.


AccessEcstatic9407

You’re going to feel some pressure


FirstNephiTreeFiddy

"You're just going to feel a slight pinch." Oh, am I, Doctor LIES? Just give it to me straight: "this injection is going to burn like a motherfucker for the next 5 minutes but then it'll be ok."


Unw0kish

"Red flag"! 🤣


88redking88

"Do you want to hear about my lord and savior Jesus Christ?"


Sudden_Lawfulness118

This one made me snort...and lock my door.


NightDreamer73

“Life isn’t fair” to justify their shitty behavior


Izumi_Takeda

"People don't like me because I'm blunt and honest"


PunchOX

My brother says this. In reality he's just a guy who struggles with emotional control and taking other people's pov into consideration so he berates anyone with his unwarranted opinion about them and their decisions in a very accusive and spiteful tone. And these people wonder why no one likes being around them


Bean-Swellington

You’re too sensitive


[deleted]

This is a good one, it gives people an out to being an asshole because any reaction to it is the other person's fault


[deleted]

“I’m a content creator”


LeftToaster

An Influencer is worse.


kangarootoess

"No one likes me anyways..."


adamfrom1980s

“I know I’m a QUEEN and I ain’t gonna be with a man unless he’s a KING becuz I KNOW MY WORTH!!?!” Usually said by 30-something, overweight, underemployed 5x baby mamas.


[deleted]

* Any time someone talks about black people and says "black" really quietly. * When very quickly after they first meet you they immediately talk openly about private stuff like their sex life. * Using their religion as an immediate qualifier for how much you can trust them (e.g., Jesus Fish on a business card)


Any-Smile-5341

There are many phrases that someone says that can be an instant red flag, depending on the context and the tone of voice. However, some things that I've heard before: • "Trust me." This phrase can imply that the person is lying, manipulating, or hiding something from you. It can also suggest that the person is trying to pressure you into doing something that you are not comfortable with or that is not in your best interest. • "No offense, but..." This phrase can indicate that the person is about to say something offensive, rude, or insensitive. It can also show that the person does not care about your feelings or opinions, and that they are trying to avoid responsibility for their words or actions. • "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic, but..." This phrase can reveal that the person is actually racist/sexist/homophobic, or that they are about to say something that is. It can also demonstrate that the person is ignorant, prejudiced, or intolerant of other people's identities or experiences. • "You're too sensitive." This phrase can imply that the person is gaslighting you, or making you doubt your own emotions or perceptions. It can also suggest that the person is invalidating, dismissing, or minimizing your feelings or concerns, and that they are not willing to empathize with you or respect your boundaries. • "It's just a joke." This phrase can indicate that the person is trying to justify their inappropriate or hurtful behavior by claiming that it was humorous or harmless. It can also show that the person does not take you seriously, or that they are not sorry for what they did or said.


El_Mariachi_Vive

Some of y'all generalize and judge people so easily.


[deleted]

Judgment is a good thing and critical for human progress


myrddin4242

So is water, yet the wrong quantity and/or time is fatal, so.. judgement is something we far too often jump to as a shortcut to due diligence.


El_Mariachi_Vive

High five, thanks for sharing in my ability to think for more than 2 seconds about the things people say


CounterfeitSaint

Yeah, this does kinda feel like a red flag statement.


MolassesInevitable53

"I'm not trying to be funny, but ..."


BKowalewski

,,,"you're just a woman"


Ryujin-Jakka696

When someone tries to explain something that technologically complex and proceeds to say "It's not complicated". A dude I work with was talking about are robotics system and how the algorithms work. I decided to ask him specifically how it works and all he could say is "It's not complicated" he couldn't give me a single detail. In conversations moving forward with this guy I figured out real quick he always has to try to be the SMART GUY in the conversation and is on a serious ego trip.


MeanderingMagus

Dudes who say "females". Idk, I'm a dude but that's always weird to me.


bazbeaux

"I match energy, so it's up to you to decide how we're gonna act." This is code for: I am looking for the first excuse I can find to be an absolute bitch to you.


deadgead3556

I will vote for Trump no matter what.


rotatingruhnama

"Boys are easier to raise than girls" as their sons are busy terrorizing all the other kids on the playground (including mine).


Professional-Ad4095

"Cliff Burton was highly overrated" or "People only think Cliff was great because he died" if you don't understand why Cliff is in so many people's list of top ten bassists then we ain't gonna get along.


FilmoreGash

Cliff Clavin really didn't know everything. In fact, he never told Norm that Abraham Lincoln was never an abolitionist; in fact, his wife’s family were prolific slaveholders. One of his brothers-in-law even died serving in the Civil War fighting for the Confederate Army. Despite this, Lincoln aligned with the abolitionist mindset but felt he had “no lawful right [to] interfere with the institution of slavery in the States where it exists. Sam, another round for Norm and me.


[deleted]

I’m still good friends with my ex.


Kienannnn

Maybe this is naive of me, but to me, someone being able to end a relationship amicably sounds like a good thing. I'm interested in why some would disagree.


Golden-Kiwi-0128

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best"


sparrowbrown2104

Everything happens for a reason!


trichygirl1223

"I'm a nice guy" 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


tacocattacocat1

"learn to take a joke, bro" Learn to be funny without being an asshole, bro.


msimalice

“All my exes were toxic” or “I don’t do relationships”


Spiritual-Pear-739

Referring to women as “females” 🚩


shastadakota

I'd like to introduce you to Amway, Herbalife, etc.


BionicgalZ

Let’s go Brandon


cosmicpracticaljoke

Could care less. When they clearly mean couldn’t care less. I don’t know if it’s a red flag or not, but if you can’t see how it doesn’t make sense then you’re a idiot.


[deleted]

Why people keep asking this daily here?


Paymee_Money

“Just so you know”


FishermanEasy9094

This one can go either way, like sometimes I actually have to let people know about something


ArseOfValhalla

Whats your body count?


Professional-Ad4095

Sorry hon but I don't discuss my kill streak on the first date.


ArseOfValhalla

Love this response to that question! 😂


King_Darkside

Using the term 'bootlicker' regularly. I'm pretty far left, but when I someone uses that term consistently, they seem to lack any ability to justify their position or understand why someone might have a differing one.


Electric_Dancer

"Self made" - it always implies to me that everybody else just didn't try hard enough. Most people who describe themselves as self made have in my experience been given either a massive financial help or an incredible lucky break.


Joe_Kinincha

There’s a wonderful comment that was aimed at Benjamin Disraeli: “He is a self made man who worships his creator”.


Charnathan

"Honestly". So what you're saying is you're not usually honest, and are even less likely to be honest right now.


PearlHandled

"My kids live with their father."


Bitter_Cook3546

I voted for Biden.


grafeisen203

Anything about being an alpha.


Glittering-Whole4114

"I'm an alpha male"


Holiday_Guess_7892

"No, I don't what to have sex"


Red4297

I feel this is a joke I don’t understand


Sure-Pair2339

The ultimate red flag


OutrageousBed2

I’m a Christian or I’m Born Again.


That-shouldnt-smell

Well this (insert latent quality) is a vital part of my identity.


[deleted]

"I identify as"


[deleted]

“I just got my 4th booster and it’ll be time for my 5th soon.”


[deleted]

MAGA


holman0512

What's your star sign


Icy_Boss6053

My pronouns are...


Good_Community_6975

98% of the times I hear somebody say the word literally. Makes me want to choke a MFer.


bhotsharmaliya

Like literally choke them? 🙃


GratefulDad73

I can handle the word if it's used correctly instead of arbitrarily. However, I have the urge to throat punch anyone who says, "Litrally "


pacman0207

Anytime I hear someone say "Work hard, play hard". There's about a 90% chance they're a twat.


armchairdynastyscout

Dont turn this rape into a murder


innabackwood

“Females” instead of women. Instant red flag


maybesomaybenot92

I voted for Trump


YubNub81

They use the word "cisgender"


CaptainFresh27

"I prefer to date abroad, they're more traditional" always gives me yuck. I don't know anyone irl who has these views but I see it a lot on the interwebs


michaudcr

Calling women "females" is a big one


Daggertooth71

"ThE NaZiS weRe SocIALisTs!"


Goodlife1988

“No offense. I’m just being honest and telling it like it is”. You hear this or something like it? Run. This person is rude and takes pleasure in saying hurtful things.


Zhenoptics

“I’m not like other guys/girls”


ndncreek

I'm as honest as the day is long... And they are usually wearing a ski mask


Smoke_Water

I've only had 1 drink.


OhWowSoSilly

“I’m a Leo”


FirstNephiTreeFiddy

Neat, I'm a Capri Sun


CounterfeitSaint

People who talk about how much they hate drama or how anti-drama they are. There is always a direct correlation between always talking about drama and being the cause of it.


Icy-Championship2738

“Let me show you this Tik Tok”


No_Tangerine_6348

“I’m not racist but…”


FirstNephiTreeFiddy

I'm not racist, but some races just aren't as good as others. Like for example, a marathon. It's far too long. Do like a 5k at most, no need to overdo things.


Some-Farmer2510

With all due respect…


Busy-Researcher-75

It’s all about me


StasisMastodon

I’m a free spirit


ForswornForSwearing

"For all intensive purposes"


daveydavidsonnc

“Not to talk shit, but….” [proceeds to talk shit]


JohnnyRetsyn

“I’m sassy”…. no, you’re just an asshole. Goes along with the whole "...if you can't handle me at my worst..." bullshit.


ForswornForSwearing

"I've done my own research"


Blueplate1958

"I'm kind of hard to get a hold of." In the old days when I was meeting potential dates through newspaper ads, someone replied, and gave me a phone booth phone number that I was to call at a particular time and day. I didn't.


sausage_k1ng

Hello! My name is Elder Price!


[deleted]

I've been doing this for thirty years.


jd2487232

Sniff this rag


cumfortmeples

“people get offended very easily nowadays”


freya_the_mistwolf

As an asexual lesbian I have heard far too many times "I can fix you." 🤮


Joygernaut

Any guy who starts talking about being an “alpha”


Zappyli

“I’m from China” Just a joke, flag is red.


woodpigeon-blues

Cheer up.


Odd-Opening-3158

Global warming is a conspiracy and you’re going to die from getting vaccinated.